The Dissector

The Nitpicker #18.

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

Well, here we are, the first actual post! Since I haven't read all my comics for this week, I'm going to go over the stuff I have accumulated in my files... starting with the comics for May and June.
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"I'VE BEEN TAKING TELEPATHIC CLASSES FROM BEAST..."

TITLE: X-Men V2.

ISSUE: 186.

CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 23, Polaris is in the X-mansion's medical ward; and Emma Frost is telling Havok, about Polaris "(...) I've isolated most of her pathogens. (...). Uhm... Emma Frost is a good bussineswoman, a competent teacher (doubtful), and a genius when it comes to electronics. But since when is she a doctor? That's Beast's job, dammit.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, what was Milligan thinking? A lackluster end to a horrible run on the book.
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"HEY, PLOT-DEVICE LASS, COME HERE..."

TITLE: (Supergirl And) The Legion Of Superheroes V4.

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 18, Cosmic Boy asks Supergirl to look at some dust with her microscopic vision because "she has some scientific background"... huh? She's from a civilization that's scientifically more advanced than Earth's, but that doesn't mean she has "a scientific background".

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, this could have been phrased better.
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"I DON'T EVEN BOTHER STERILIZING THE INSTRUMENTS!"

TITLE: Teen Titans V3.

ISSUE: 36.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and (probably) Tony S. Daniel (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 11, Robin is spying on The Chief (they're in the Doom Patrol's castle); who's operating on Kid Devil. Robin is overlooking the operating room from some sort of indoor balcony when his communicator rings, and The Chief is alerted to his presence.

Inmediately, Dr. Caulder (that being the Chief's name, for those of you not in the know) orders Robin to leave the area, as his "surgical equipment is extremely delicate to electromagnetic interference." First of all, that's phrased horribly, wouldn't be better to say "extremely sensitive to..."?

Second, why would The Chief, one of the brightest scientific minds on the DCU, be operating with such sensitive equipment in an area that's not shielded against electromagnetic interference, and there's not even a glass on the balcony? Ever heard of isolating an OR so you don't get germs? And what about THE FREAKING ROBOT-BODIED GUY AND THE NEGATIVE ENERGY DUDE YOU HAVE ON YOUR OWN TEAM?!!?!?!?!

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"BOY WONDER LIKES HIS RINGTONES."

TITLE: Teen Titans V3.

ISSUE: 36.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: ... and picking up from last nit, are you trying to tell me that Robin would go spying around without setting his communicator to "vibrate"?!??!! He's way smarter than that, and trained by the God damned Batman, to boot!

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"LOIS LIKES THESE BETTER."

TITLE: Superman/Batman.

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Tim Sale (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 5, Superman is wearing some sort of boxer short or trunks instead of the briefs his uniform have.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it might be pardoned as an artistic license.
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"TOYS CAN'T FLY!"

TITLE: Superman/Batman.

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Brad Meltzer (scripter for page 19).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 19 of the book, Robin comments on how the Toyman (Winslow Schott, the first one) couldn't have been responsible for the attack on the current Toyman (Hiro Okamura) because the first Toyman could not fly and there were no footprints on the snow but Okamura's. Schott is very well capable of constructing flying machines that could have carried him over thesnow without leaving footprints.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"SPELL MY NAME!"

TITLE: Superman/Batman.

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Brian K. Vaughan (scripter for pages 4 and 5) or Richard Starkings (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 5, panel 4, same where Supes sports his trunks, Batman refers to the Toyman as Hiro OKUMURA, when his last name is Okamura.

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, it could be a mere typo.
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"PLEASE, DON'T RETCON MY SECONDARY MUTATION!"

TITLE: Astonishing X-Men V2.

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: John Cassaday

NIT-TO-PICK: Those of you that have read my previous Nitpickings, which I have to post here eventually for everybody's enjoyment, know that this is one of my pet peeves. Beast has been further mutated into this form:

This change occurred in X-Treme X-Men, and then Beat's new form continued to be shown in New X-Men (the title X-Men V2 held at the moment) and Uncanny X-Men... then, for some reason, every X-Men artist started showing Beast in different forms, which were a mix of his previous, ape-like appearance, and his new, cat-like appearance. The details varied, but all had one thing in common: they decided to get rid of the cat-like feet you can see in the above picture, and went for, I don't know, bear-feet?

John Cassaday, today's culprit, started his Astonishing X-Men run with this Beast design:

Notice the differences? I do. And here's the nit that occupies us now, page 5 of the aforementioned issue, panel 1:


Look at the feet! LOOK AT THE FEET! Sorry, that's a joke that only people who've seen Les Luthiers will get... but indeed, look at the feet. Those are not cat-like... at all! I understand if they feel like it's time for a redesign of the character, but if you're going to do it, why not do it with a story that justifies it?

There appears to be no control in Marvel over how Beast is portrayed, because every now and then an artist will draw him as he's supposed to be, so that means there's been no actual mandate to draw him like Cassaday and others do... this is a royal mess...

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, I've said before that this rating is not going down until they fix this.
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"NO, SPELL MINE!"

TITLE: The New Avengers.

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer), or AS & Comicraft's Albert Deschesne (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The story opens on page 3, panel one, with Magneto writing "The name the Homo Sapiens gave me is Eric Magnus Lehnsherr." Well, welcome to the Nitpicker's blog era first combo nit!

First, his name is "Erik", not "Eric", so that's the first part of the combo nit.

NIT-O-METER: Just 3 Bazzars.
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"DON'T YA CALL ME BY MY SLAVE NAME!"

TITLE: The New Avengers.

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: And the second part of the combo nit is, that according to Marvel (see Magneto's profile at Marvel.com), Erik Magnus Lehnsherr is not even his real name. He paid a forger to construct that identify, as a Sinte gypsy, while he was searching for his estranged wife, Magda, after the death of their first child, Anya.

So, that's not the name "the Homo Sapiens gave him"... it's the name HE HIMSELF chose... and besides, Marvel also says the forged name is Erik Lehnsherr, and Magnus is just the alias he later used... his real name remains unrevealed.

Oh, and the combo nit is repeated in page 25, so the first part could not have been a typo, like I originally thought.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"NAH, THAT CAN'T BE A MUTANT. MUST BE A LARGE SMURFETTE."

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 8.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer) and/or Christopher Yost (dialogue and additional plotting).

NIT-TO-PICK: Alas, poor Chris is one of the regulars in this blog, or at least was, before his health issues started, I hope he recovers soon (no, really). In this case, he opens this issue of new Excalibur, on page 2, with TJ Wagner, aka Nocturne, walking around London, and the captions read "Some people may glance (...). No reason to worry (...) It's a strange world... maybe she has a skin disorder. Maybe it's some new punk fad. Maybe she's a performer in "Cats"... OR MAYBE SHE'S A BLOODY MUTANT, THAT MIGHT EXPLAIN THE BLUE SKIN, YELLOW PUPIL-LESS EYES, POINTY EARS AND THREE-FINGERED HANDS!!!!

Come on Chris, you helped built the X-Men in what they are, you defined the Marvel mutans, you're way beyond these stupid captions. Yes, it could be Yost, but I doubt it... Claremont has been doing stuff like these for a couple of years now... people should know when to retire... I'm sorry I have to say stuff like that, because Chris Claremont is one of my favorite comic book writers... but he doesn't have the touch anymore.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, I know that sometimes my nits cross into the subjective.
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"IT'S IN YOUR EYE!"

TITLE: Exiles.

ISSUE: 83.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: This book hasn't been the same since Judd Winick left, but it's still a good read. In page 17, Longshot throws one of his blades at Iron Man (an alternate version), and strikes him through his helmet, in an eye... you're telling me that Iron Man's armor doesn't have glass in the eyeslits, or plastic, or a force field?

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"YOU HAVE SOME NERVE, SHOWING YOUR FACE!"

TITLE: Young Avengers.

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Jim Cheung (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 18, Faith Bradley (or Faith Shabazz, as is her convert name, wife of Isaiah Bradley, the African American Captain America, and grandmother of Patriot) is sitting in the hospital between the beds of Isahia and Patriot while the latter is getting a blood transfusion from the former.

Faith is a devout Muslim, and has been shown wearing the traditional head and face covering garments (which obey the custom called hijab, if I'm not mistaken) of that religion's women, at least when in public.

Then why is she sitting in a hospital, in what doesn't appear to be a private room, with her face and hair completely uncovered?

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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That's it for this installment, let's see what the average was... it's 5 Bazzars, pretty low, lower than the last time I wrote a column, which was 6.