Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Dissector #137.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


"I hate airports. Prisons to tempt people who can't afford it to buy junk they don't need. Air-conditioned temples of greed and emptiness. As soon as I'm in duty-free I'm going to buy five hundred cigarettes and several brands of whisky." John Constantine, Hellblazer #260.

Welcome to the column for comics released on 10/21; which is on time, again! Nobody did spot the DT!; and it was one of my pet peeves: John Stewart's costume; the artist and colorist gave him gloves instead of bracers.

Would you like to know what The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are? Well, Best Book was The Invincible Iron Man #19; nothing spectacular, but a solid read. Ironclad. Worst Book Of The Week was Sugarshock, a lackluster one-shot by Josh Whedon and Fábio Moon; originally serialized on Dark Horse's MySpace. Whedon's script is a pile of nonsense trying to be wacky and funny, attempting to be underground (it's even labeled "Dark Horse Comix"), and failing miserably. Moon's art is interesting; but not enough to save the atrocious script.

Oh; before I forget... my good friend Jeremy Rizza (former author of the BEST comic book fashion blog out there, Blockade Boy, seriously, even after he closed it, it's still a great read) has honored me by giving me a guest spot as a character in his webstrip, Viking Zombie Boyfriend; in his Halloween strip. Thank you very much, Jeremy!!!

Here's The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (is it Michele or Michelle Gonzales? I'm still waiting for an answer on that, but since she was "Michelle" in her first appearance, I'll consider "Michele" wrong; also she has been portrayed with slightly dark skin, stereotypically Hispanic, and now she's shown as white as MJ?), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Batman's gauntlet is wrong), Batman: Unseen (again the horribly gigantic ears and cape), Blackest Night: Superman (inker Ruy José is credited as Jose'; that is, with an apostrophe instead of an accent), Cowboy Ninja Viking (Spanish mistake, accented letters), Dark Reign - The List: Secret Warriors (Norman's eyes, H.A.M.M.E.R. uniform color), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Banner's eye color), The Invincible Iron Man V2 (Norman's eyes are brown, then correctly blue), Skrull Kill Krew (Norman's eyes), and Thunderbolts (Norman's eyes... and Captain America's). Dissections!

TITLE: The Brave And The Bold V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (artist).

DISSECTION: This is Flash, Barry Allen, but something's wrong:


TITLE: DC Universe Halloween Special '09 (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Matt Triano (artist, Red Robin story).

DISSECTION: Matt; Bruce Wayne's grave is not marked; and the graves you drew for his parents look nothing like they should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars for Bruce's grave. There are also a lot of other mistakes: Guy Gardner's badge, boots and eyes; Soranik Natu's badge, Salakk's... well, himself; Robin's emblem; and Spanish language dissections.

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 136.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I credited Bill Sienkiewicz as doing "(finishes(". Badge to Snakebyte for spotting this; that's your fiftieth badge; thanks for being a loyal reader.


TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti (writers).

DISSECTION: An alien (even one that looks human) causes the death of a policeman (however accidentally) and she's not held for questioning? Bullshit.

Short column; and it had an average of only 4.7 Bazzars in a total of thirty-nine dissections. Let's get this show over; starting with the Cover Of The Week:

Nothing too flashy, but I like Soviet/Russian iconography, and Francesco Mattina pulled off a nice little piece here. Now, Moments Of The Week; just two, and related, even if they're from different books and universes. First up, from Air #14:

If you're familiar with the roleplaying game Mage: The Ascension, you know why I liked this. Then, something that's also related with Mage, but that's nice on its own:

SCIENTIST SUPREME!!! Very nice, and also a lot more explicit, in its words, than the previous one. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...


Friday, October 23, 2009

The Dissector #136.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


"Mine was a life of solitude and duty, Picard. I have no regrets. But for a time, I was in a unique position, working with comrades of exemplary character. Friends." Spock, Star Trek: Spock: Reflections #4.

That quote is simply beautiful; at least if you're a trekkie. Welcome to the column for books released on 10/14; I've finally caught up... for how long? Nobody caught the DT!; then again, there wasn't much time between columns. The problem was that Doctor Strange's facial hair looks nothing like it should; with a bushy handlebar moustache instead of his usual style.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week were the following; Best Book Of The Week was Adventure Comics #506; the Superboy/Robin story was very good, Johns has a handle on the core of the characters, while acknowledging how they've changed over the years. Francis Manapul new style is growing on me; although I always liked it better than his original style, which was too blocky. The Legion Of Super-Heroes second feature might feel slow to some people; but I feel they're accomplishing two things. First, they're giving us Legion fans a good, solid fix of the team; and second, they're introducing the characters to people unfamiliar to the Legion, but without drowning them in the team's long and convoluted history. Worst Book Of The Week was JSA Vs. Kobra #5... the art is mediocre; and the story is drawn out; it could have been done in an oversized one-shot or even a two or three issue mini.

Here's the Rundown: Adventure Comics (accented letter), Green Lantern Corps V2 (Kilowog's badge), The Incredible Hercules (wrong eye colors), Nomad: Girl Without A World (accented letter), R.E.B.E.L.S. (wrong eye color), Scalped (accented letter), The Marvels Project (Namor's wings are gigantic), The Unwritten (accented letter wrong, then right, then wrong), Titans V2 (wrong eye colors), Uncanny X-Men (next issue's cover has Namor with blue eyes instead of gray), X-Men Forever V2 (Beast eyes, both in the cover and inside, are shown as featureless and yellow or white, even glowing). And now, the featured dissections:

TITLE: Anna Mercury 2 (Avatar).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).

DISSECTION: One more time Ellis gets communication protocols incorrect. Anna Mercury gets in touch with her control by saying "Mercury, Launchpad."; when it should be the other way around.


TITLE: Blackest Night: Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte noticed that a panel says "puts" instead of "put" when the subject was "abominations". Badge for you, Snake.


TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: Annual 11.

CULPRIT: Tom Mandrake (artist).

DISSECTION: Robin is a ten-year old child... a very physically fit and trained ten-year old that can kill you with a finger, but still a ten-year old. He does not look like a miniature adult with muscles almost the same size as Azrael's


TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: Various.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: It's settled; it's not "DC Super Friends", it's "Super Friends V2". I've called it "DC Super Friends" three times; but DC is just something on the cover; the book is listed on the website as just "Super Friends"; and it's like that on the indicia of the comics themselves too. So, to sum up, the right name of the book is "Super Friends", and it's V2.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars each.

TITLE: Green Arrow/Black Canary (DC).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Mike Norton (layouts) and/or Bill Sienkiewicz (finishes(

DISSECTION: Cupid is missing her heart-and-arrow scar.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, the first story ends with "get the rest of the story on the next page"... but the second story is an unrelated Speedy story. They seemed to have changed the second story in the last minute; because the DC website spoils the fact that one of the Green Arrows in the main story is Everyman ("the Green Arrow stabbed by Black Canary on their wedding night").

TITLE: JSA Vs. Kobra (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 06.

CULPRIT: Don Kramer or Neil Edwards (pencillers).

DISSECTION: Green Lantern's emblem is wrong at one point, then right.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Plus, Jay Garrick's costume and boots are incorrect; and Power Girl's hair is wrong.

TITLE: Nation X advertisement (Marvel).


CULPRIT: Unknown designer/writer.

DISSECTION: Magneto's "passport" is shown; and it's obviously an allegory, because it has stamps for places that aren't a state (Muir Island, Savage Land); in fact, I doubt he's ever had a German passport at all. The name on the passport is Max Eisenhardt; it's telling that the name they chose for him has a certain meaning; one meaning of "Eisen" in German is iron; which speaks great volumes about Magneto's convictions. Cheap? Yes, but way better than his actual name being "Magnus", like Rictor's last name is "Richter" when his power was generating seismic waves. Or Otto Octavius... or Dominik's favorite, Blackagar Boltagon...

But I'm straying from the topic... The codes on the passport include his alias "Erik Magnus Lehnsherr"... but they spelled it "Lensherr".


TITLE: Super Friends V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Dario Brizuela (artist) and Heroic Age (colorist).

DISSECTION: Come on, this one is easy!

On another note, should I start labeling this book and Tiny Titans as "DC/DC Kids"; Marvel's "MAX" books as "Marvel/MAX", and so on? I've only done it with "DC/Vertigo" and "DC/Wildstorm"; because both Vertigo and Wildstorm are separate, not only in continuity but in subject, characters, themes, while "DC Kids" includes DC characters (apart from Cartoon Network stuff); Marvel Max, Knights and Ultimate are all about Marvel characters (although not in tone and mood, specifically MAX). I'm going to keep doing what I've done up to now, I'd like to hear your thoughts about it; but I think the most important difference is that while Vertigo and Wildstorm have their own character stables; MAX, Knights, DC Kids, Ultimate, etc, all draw from their parent lines. They are "labels", while Vertigo and Wildstorm (along with Marvel's Icon, which I just remembered) are true imprints. Next time I dissect an Icon book it's going to be labeled "Marvel/Icon".


TITLE: Web Of Spider-Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Andres Mossa (colorist, "Echoes").

DISSECTION: Again? Ben Reilly's eyes get colored green; then Peter's eyes are colored brown. Andres; Ben is a clone of Peter, got it?

This week's column had an average of 6.1 Bazzars in thirty-four dissections; pretty normal. Now, the Cover Of The Week was almost this cover for Uncanny X-Men #516. It's simple, but it's also very powerful, and you all know how much of a sucker for Magneto I am. However, the below cover for Green Lantern Corps V2 #41 was way too creepy to not be the Cover Of The Week:

Patrick Gleason's pencils capture the mandatory spookiness of an undead child; who's at the same time very smug (that smug lil bastard face makes me think of my son's; who's smarter than most people and knows it). The inks are by Rebecca Buchman; and the colors by Randy Mayor and/or Gabe ElTaeb. Let's go now with the Moments Of The Week, first up, The Doctor looks like Han Solo from behind:

That made me laugh. Next, the creepy cover was only a teaser of more creepiness:

Easy? Yes. Effective? Yes, that too. Then, Sparky teaches us not to judge a book by its cover:

Or a man by his facial hair. Wise words, Sparky. Next up; Gravel is baddass:

He's like John Constantine with military training! The next one almost made me cry:

Spock lays his old friend to rest in his beloved homeland. Then, Magneto arrives!

Good entrance, nice pwning of Chuck. Let's finish these Moments with a "WTF?!":

Is that her knee? Her breast? A forward-facing hump? Kelley Jones; your exaggerated anatomy in comic book women is disgusting, not sexy.

Before I end this column; I wanted to take a moment to do something I don't normally do here... talk about something close to politics. This is a very important weekend for me, and for my country. Tomorrow my son turns five, and that's very important. He's growing up to be a very handsome, smart, and sweet child. I want him to grow up in a country where justice prevails. You see; there's presidential and congress/senate elections this Sunday in my country, Uruguay. We choose both chambers of our legislative body, and if a candidate gets more than 50% of the votes, we choose a president. If not, the two most voted candidates go to a second round where simple majority is enough.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. We're also voting two constitutional reforms. One is important, but not vital, and its to allow our citizens living outside of the country to mail-in their ballots. The other one, however, is very, very important; it's vital. You see, Uruguay was under a military dictatorship from 1973 to 1984; a period during which many people in the military committed unspeakable acts of kidnapping, torture, rape, murder, and child theft. To this day, many people do not know where their relatives are buried, or how they died; or with what family and under what name the children that were ripped from their mothers' arms are living.

Under pressure of the military; the newly elected parliament approved a law that strongly restricted prosecution of the people responsible of those crimes, the "Law Of Expiration Of The State's Punitive Prerogative" (loose translation). There was a referendum to annul the law in 1989; but people were still afraid of what the military could do (military leaders said that even if they were called to courts, they would not go). Only during the latest government period (starting in 2004, first term where the left-wing coalition Frente Amplio, or Broad Front, held the national government) were some of these crimes truly investigated and some of the perpetrators were jailed (under humane conditions in a specially constructed prison or even their own homes, unlike what they did with their prisoners).

But we need more than 50% of voters to choose to render that tyrannical and absurd law null. This is not about political ideas, this is about justice. It's about being a person of good, it's about making a better world for our children. Does that sound corny? Well, so be it. I rather be corny than let these people draw their lofty pensions while they're free to do what they want after RAPING my country. That's why, that pink slip of paper that says "YES" to the end of that aberrant regulation that calls itself a law will go inside my voting envelope; along with the one for the mail-in vote proposal, and the one for the party I think should continue to lead the country.

Thanks for reading this, and peaceful elections for all my Uruguayan readers.

That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Dissector #135.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


"Been a while... but toppling banana republics is like riding a bike. Once you learn how, you never forget." Crossbones, House Of M: Masters Of Evil #3.

Welcome to the column for comics released on 10/07! Nobody cracked the DT!; although JohnnyDoe came close. He mentioned that "Victor Sage" wasn't The Question's real name, but a pseudonym, which he used in his TV reporter career. That was almost right... the problem is that the grave says "Victor Sage", and Charles Victor Szasz never used the name "Victor"... he was always just "Vic".

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week were the following: Best Book Of The Week was The Boys #35; we get Mother's Milk origin, which is a nice thing. Worst Book Of The Week was almost Captain America: Theater Of War - Ghosts Of My Country, with its purely patriotic story which tells us nothing about the character; but the writing wasn't actually bad, and the art was passable. How does Paul Jenkins, a Brit, manage not to puke while writing this drivel? I guess it's the same way I talk nice to customers: it pays the bills. No, Worst Book Of The Week was Magog #2... the writing is awful; and the art is downright disgusting... Someone hide Howard Porter's pencils, please:

Eww, right? Before the full dissections, here comes The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Ben Reilly's eyes are colored blue; then brown, as they should be), Angel ("Los Angles", and hair color mistakes), Black Panther V5 (Reed Richards is given blue eyes; again Wakandans writing in English), Doom Patrol V5 (both Mento and Elasti-Girl have wrong eye colors), Final Crisis Aftermath: Run (John Stewart's boots, emblems and eyes are wrong), The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (several language dissections, but nothing as bad nor as many as before, Dixon's getting better at it), Greek Street (one typo), Justice League: Cry For Justice (Hal Jordan's badge is incorrect all the time, Vixen's not wearing her totem, Zatanna and Red Arrow have wrong costumes; while Firestorm looks like Ronnie Raymond), R.E.B.E.L.S. (L.E.G.I.O.N. satellites with writing in English), Star Wars Halloween Special (Chewbacca gets brown eyes instead of his baby blues).

TITLE: Batman: The Unseen (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Doug Moench (writer).

DISSECTION: There is no such thing as a "vaso-musculature system".


TITLE: Batman: The Unseen (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Kelley Jones (artist).

DISSECTION: Yes, I know Batman's cape, and his whole costume is used for dramatic effect, altered slightly by the artist, but this is ridiculous:

Look at those glove spikes, thirty centimeters long! Half-meter long bat ears! A circus tent cape! Please!!!


TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 134.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Donald313 noticed I wrote "dozens several occurrences", when it should have been "several occurrences" only.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Badge for Don, two more and you make Lieutenant.

TITLE: Doctor Voodoo: Avenger Of The Supernatural (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jefte Palo (artist).

DISSECTION: Use your divination powers on this one:

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also a few lettering errors; and the writer has Doctor Voodoo run a clinic and treat patients as if he was a medical doctor... when he's a psychologist.

TITLE: Doctor Voodoo: Avenger Of The Supernatural (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Unknown profile writer and Lauren Sankovitch (editor).

DISSECTION: The profile for Doctor Voodoo is sorely out of date; it's for "Brother Voodoo", it narrates some of his recent adventures without noting that some of those adventures were not had by him but by a Skrull impersonating him; and it neglects to include his recent ascendance to Sorcerer Supreme. Pitiful.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each,

TITLE: Magog (DC).


CULPRIT: Hi-Fi Designs (colorist).

DISSECTION: Ted Grant's eyes are colored incorrectly.


TITLE: X-Men Vs. Agents Of Atlas (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 02.

CULPRIT: Jeff Parker (writer).

DISSECTION: Rockslide does not "assimilate rock as an exoskeleton"; he is a psionic entity that creates a body out of rock for himself. There is a big difference.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Pixie does not "seem magical, but pure mutant youth"; she is part magical now.
So, that gives us a 6.8 Bazzars average in fifty-one dissections, pretty high. Now, Cover Of The Week was the following:

From Absolution #2; from Warren Ellis Press... I mean, Avatar Press... Simple fan service, but I liked the cover. Now, the Moments Of The Week; just two. First, Spidey tells us what the intarwebz are for:

Eww... Osporn... Then, the most horrible Wolverine jumping pose ever:

What is he doing, rocking on his abs? That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...


Friday, October 16, 2009

The Dissector #134.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


"I REALLY need to restructure my life so I can spend more time reading abstracts and less time punching dinosaurs." Atomic Robo, Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #5 (09/16).

"(...) you read a lot. You'd be the only other one in a town that values the weight of a pig more than the works of Nikola Tesla." Young Lex Luthor about Smallville, Superman: Secret Origin #1 (09/23).

"My girth brings fear to my enemies." Volstagg The Voluminous, Thor #603 (09/30).

Sorry it's taking me so long to catch up... I started a new position at work; completely new stuff; plus I changed to a day shift after more than three years working nights. It's taking me some time to adjust, that's all. This column, as you might have surmised from the three quotes above, is for comics published in the last three weeks of September. I still have the first week of October, and the second one will pile up with that one too; but I think I'll write two separate columns. The Rundown is gargantuan; so I've posted it a couple of days ago. You can check it out if you feel like it.

You had a long time to solve the last DT!, but it seems there's not enough trekkies among my readers. I'll elaborate later in the column, but the problem is that there was no Klingon Emperor in the time period the comic book "Romulans: Schism" takes place in. This column's DT! is not Star Trek themed, promise.

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week(s), I'll try to make it as short as possible. Best Book Of 09/16 was Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #5; not the best issue in the mini, but better than the rest of the stuff that week. Worst Book of that week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape #5, awful like the rest of the series. Best Bok of 09/23 was Ghostbusters: Displaced Aggression, a good idea to have the 'Busters time travelling; and a steampunk wild west issue with Venkman was a great start. Worst Book of that week was Dark X-Men: The Confession; completely unnecessary, it was forced and it was hard to believe that Cyclops and Emma Frost really didn't know what the other was up to; or that they would really kick up a shit storm when they found out. I actually expected a confession that shocked readers; not stuff we already knew and the characters themselves didn't care much about.

Best Book for 09/30 The Last Days Of Animal Man #5; I wish Gerry Conway was given an ongoing book with Buddy, or at least a second feature... yes; please, a second feature of Animal Man in some other book!!! Worst Book of that week was Hulk #15; it's not really THAT horrible a book, it's just bland, and I don't like Ian Churchill too much.

Before moving on to the dissections; I'd like to announce the official opening of a comic book... publisher? Self-publishing group, is more like it; which will start as a digital endeavour; but might evolve into print in the future. I'm one of the founders; and I'm still working on stuff to publish, it'll eventually feature my work. It'll be mostly in Spanish; but my comics I'll try to publish both in that language and in English; so please stop by G.A.S. Digital (Grupo de Arte Secuencial, Sequential Art Group) to check it out. There; dissections time!

TITLE: Blackest Night (DC)

ISSUE: 03 of 08.

CULPRIT: Ivan Reis (penciller) and/or Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Right away, spot me this one:

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also dozens several occurrences of Hal Jordan's badge being incorrect.

TITLE: Blackest Night: Superman (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: A customer thanks the barber for staying open especially for him; a teenager is called to diner; but the very first caption says "This Morning".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. This one was reported by Dominik, badge for him. There's also a minor art dissection.

TITLE: Blackest Night: Titans (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi Design (colorist).

DISSECTION: Piggylicious wrote on the TCN forums: "On page 15, Bart, Donna, and Cassie are seen in Ring-O-vision and Donna is violet. The text clearly states that she is showing "Will", which should be Green, because Green is the color of Willpower. If you want proof just read any Green Lantern title EVER, or hell, even any other Blackest Night Title."

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Badge for you, Piggy, welcome to the HDSC. There's also a problem with some eyes colored incorrectly.

TITLE: Dark Reign - The List: The Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Venom is spelled "Venmom" at one point. Snakebyte spotted this one, welcome back, Vice Admiral.


TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 133.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I wrote "Scarlett" instead of "Scarlet". Yes Snake, we get it, you're back.


TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 46.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Dominik noticed that two conflicting stories as to how Black Lanterns can be killed. From his review: "After Indigo-1 has done it effortlessly in the last issue of Blackest Night, here’s the recipe to destroy a Black Lantern, finally spelled out. And I shall quote Hal Jordan here: “Sanitize the Black Ring with light, green or whatever other colour you’ve got. It leaves the ring brittle – you can shatter them – and it’ll cause a feedback that destroys the Black Lantern.” Basically, the recipe is to wash the black ring.

This – of course – doesn’t quite add up to the explanation given in Blackest Night #3 which goes as follows: “Green Light, reinforced with another such as ours will neutralize the Black Rings and leave them susceptible to conventional damage. Once destroyed, the ring initiates a feedback, which renders the Black Lantern inert. The more shades of the emotional spectrum shining together, the stronger the light.” Basically, Green plus X makes them vulnerable and then you can punch the death out of them."

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Another badge for you, Dom.

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 46.

CULPRIT: Andy Kubert (variant cover penciller).

DISSECTION: *sigh* HAL JORDAN'S BADGE IS THE ONE IN THE FREAKING LOGO OF THE COMIC!!! COME ON!!! HOW HARD CAN IT BE?!!!?!?!?! I'VE SAID IT SEVERAL TIMES ALREADY, AFTER SUPERMAN AND BATMAN, HAL'S EMBLEM IS THE MOST ICONIC OF ALL SUPERHEROES!!!!! In fact, icon-wise; graphic wise, it might just be the most iconic one... Variant cover artist Andy Kubert gets it wrong; but at least main cover and interior artist Doug Mahnke gets it right; which is a good thing, since he had been getting it wrong in previous issues and on Blackest Night: Tales Of The Corps. Let's see if he gets it right next issue... and if other artists can get it right.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Mongul's blood is colored incorrectly.

TITLE: Justice League Of America 80 Page Giant (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: JT Krul (writer, main story).

DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's ring is taken from him, and oh no, he can't use it. Except it's been shown time and again that Lanterns can control their rings even if they're not wearing them; as long as they're nearby.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. There's a few other art and writing dissections too.

TITLE: Justice League Of America 80 Page Giant (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: JT Krul (writer, main story).

DISSECTION: I don't care if Cheetah's powers come from a goddess of fertility, or how heightened her sense of smell is; she can't tell that a newborn baby is not unrelated to another person just by scent.


TITLE: Marvel Divas (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Tonci Zonjic (penciller).

DISSECTION: Firestar is shown in the Massachusetts Academy; with Emma Frost as a teacher. Not only is she shown wearing normal clothes (instead of her usual lingerie), but she and a student have X-symbols in their clothes. Right. Tonci, you do know Emma frost was a villain and not a part of the X-Men family until a LONG, LONG time after Firestar left her Academy, don't you? I'll even overlook the fact that as far as I remember Emma Frost never actually taught the Hellions anything, and that the student with the X on the back of his shirt was never seen among them, but you might want to research before you draw.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Of course, there's also an accented letter smaller than it should be.

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 57.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Stuart Immonen (penciller), and Dave McCaig (colorist).

DISSECTION: The Night Nurse makes an appearance... but it's the wrong one. The one who treats superheroes and dated Doctor Strange is Linda Carter, and this (from the character design and the fact that she works at a hospital) is Christine Palmer. Several Avengers from this team have been treated by Carter, she's well known by them; while Palmer has only dealt with Storm and Nightcrawler.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Daken's eyes are colored incorrectly.

TITLE: Punisher V8 (Marvel).

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer).

DISSECTION: One of the villains induces "clairvoyant rage" in other people. "Clairvoyant"? Rick, do you even know what the word means?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also Frank's eyes colored blue instead of brown (Dominik spotted these), Letha's called "Leetha"; her hair braid is like a flat, bi-dimensional thing (Dom too), Spider-Man's chest emblem is wrong, and Lascivious' wounds disappear magically, as well as the dirt and blood around them (Dom as well).

TITLE: Star Trek: Romulans: Schism (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).

DISSECTION: Like I said, before, Klingons didn't have an Emperor for a long, long time. Here's the crowning moment of this screw-up. While his Star Trek books are the best stuff Byrne's written in a long time (I love his work, but lately, he's been... out of touch with what comic book readers want); he's made a grave mistake. There's a Klingon emperor (and a Princess) during the late 2260s; when the story takes place. There was no Emperor in the Klingon Empire from the mid-21st Century to 2369 (and then only in a ceremonial position, the clone of Kahless).

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. It's one thing to make that mistake in an ad, but in the comic itself? Byrne could have perfectly used the patriarch of an influential Klingon house in that role; instead of making up stuff that's utterly wrong.

TITLE: Star Trek: Romulans: Schism (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (artist).

DISSECTION: The Klingon princess (ugh) has completely human feet. Klingons have ridged feet.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Klingon blood is colored pink... Byrne and Lovern Kindzierski need to catch up on their Trek.

TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 64.

CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).

DISSECTION: Gee Supes, good thing the markings on the Kryptonian battlesuits that are ALMOST EXACTLY like the one you own are familiar!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, it's either non-recombinant drive or neo-recombinant drive. Make up your mind, Joe.

TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Ángel Unzueta (penciller).

DISSECTION: God, I didn't notice this when I read it, but look at blog entry by Bleyer (in Spanish). First Beast Boy has Wally on his left, and Roy on his right. Then Wally is on his right... and then Roy is on his left!


TITLE: Wolverine: Weapon X (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Ron Garney (penciller).

DISSECTION: I don't read this book, but Dominik says "Dead bodies don't sink in shallow water when wearing light clothes. Wearing heavy clothes, such as body armour, they don't get carried away by the water if they don't swim due to their kit. They get buried in sand."


TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Steve Scott (penciller) and Lee Loughridge (colorist).

DISSECTION: Beast does not have yellow eyes without pupils or irises!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There's also an accented letter that's too small, Rogue's eyes are colored blue instead of green, and "Zigfried" Trask is a woman with a male name.
This was indeed a macro-column; with an average of 6.6 Bazzars in a whopping one hundred and forty-five dissections! Of course, it was three weeks, and three weeks with a lot of content. Let me show you the Covers Of The Week(s):

Cover Of The Week of 09/16 goes for this simple, yet beautiful cover from The Mighty Avengers #29, by Khoi Pham, Allen Martinez and John Rauch:

Week of 09/23 had this nice, if not very original or breathtaking cover from Detective Comics 857, by J.H. Williams III:

And lastly, week of 09/30 had a very sexy, very spunky cover from The Amazing Spider-Man #607, which is purrfect for the character it portrays; courtesy of J. Scott Cambpell (whose stuff I don't normally dig that much) and Edgar Delgado:

To end the column, Moments Of The Week(s)? Just the one moment from 06/16, one of the funny moments Atomic Robo never fails to deliver:

Detect Evil is a nice spell, you know? Now, from 09/23, as if Utopia wasn't already a big target for the rest of the world:

Damn... Then, Bruce Banner has stones...

... and a kid made of stone, too. Then, speaking of Utopia, look who's back:

Yeah baby! The Mutant Master Of Magnetism himself! As for 09/30, we start with a revelation of another Legionnaire in the Metropolis Science Police Squad:

Nice surprise. Then, The Adventures Of Thing Thing!

That brought a smile to my face. Next, don't mess with Sinestro:

It doesn't matter that your skin matches the rings, it still is the "Sinestro" Corps... Now, who makes Ares a proud pops?

The God Of Fear himself! Speaking of divine beings:

That's where the quote for the week of 09/30 came from, but the whole scene (and it was longer) was just too funny not to single out. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I'm working on column #134; which will encompass the remaining weeks of September (09/16, 09/23, and 09/30). The Rundown is gigantic, so I'm posting it here to link from the column:

Action Comics V1 (accented letters), Agents Of Atlas V2 (Temugin is called "Temugen"), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (one issue per week; eyes colored incorrectly, Black Cat is missing her mask in a panel, and is it Michelle Gonzales or Michele Gonzales?), The Amazing Spider-Man Presents - Anti-Venom: New Ways to Live (Ñ), Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time (missing word in a sentence), Batman: The Widening Gyre (Batman's costume has obscenely gigantic ears and cape), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Kate Spencer's eyes should be blue), Dark Reign: Lethal Legion (Iron Patriot's armor design is incorrect), Dark Reign: Made Men (Attuma's eye shape and color are wrong, Captain America has a ginormous "A" on his forehead), Dark Reign - The List: X-Men (various eye colors are incorrect, including Norman's, and Anole's arms are both the same), Dark X-Men: The Confession, Fantastic Four V1 (Reed's eyes keep changing color between his correct brown ones and blue eyes, there's a word spelled incorrectly), Fantastic Four Giant-Size Adventures (I don't care if this is an "Adventures" universe; it's unrealistic to think that the FF have never faced Paparazzi), Final Crisis Aftermath: Ink (no, artists don't get to choose random hairstyles for guest characters from other books), Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance (Wally West's ID is not public), G.I. Joe ("perscriptions"!?), G.I. Joe: Cobra Special (word spelled incorrectly), G.I. Joe Origins (Romulans: Schism ad again), Gotham City Sirens (accented letters, eye colors), Herogasm (accented letter), Hulk (words spelled incorrectly), The Incredible Hercules (accented letters), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Banner and Norman's eyes colored incorrectly), The Invincible Iron Man V2 (Norman's eyes), JSA VS. Kobra ("fawcett" City on a monitor), Justice Society Of America V3 (Power Girl's hair and Jay Garrick's costume are incorrect), Madame Xanadu (mangling of the Spanish language, eye color changes), The Mighty Avengers (it's U.S.Agent, not "USAgent"; and the Scarle Witch's eyes are colored incorrectly, even if she's Loki), New Mutants V3 (Utopia looks nothing like it's portrayed here), Power Girl V2 (Power Girl is caught on camera changing into her uniform... are we really to believe that she changes at normal speed out in the open?), Punisher V8 (Jigsaw's eyes are colored incorrectly), Runaways V3 (Nico is made to look Caucasian and with light brown hair), Spider-Woman V4 (wrong costume design), Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (Spock's eyes are colored blue; then go back to his correct brown color; Romulans: Schism ad), Star Wars: Legacy (you don't hack into systems in Star Wars, you "slice"), Supergirl V5 (the WGBS building is called "Daily Star" in a caption), Teen Titans V3 (Beast Boy's design is changed), Thor & Hercules - Encyclopedia Mythologica (it's a handbook, full of mistakes, mostly non-English language ones; I didn't even read it, and found about a dozen at a glance), Thunderbolts (Norman's eyes), Ultimate Armor Wars (accented letter), Uncanny X-Men (Beast does not have yellow eyes), Underground (word spelled incorrectly), Vigilante V3 (Batman's costume is incorrect), War Machine V2 (Norman's eyes), X-Factor V3 (eye color mistakes galore, in two issues), X-Force V3 (Selene's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Men: Legacy (accented letters, character heights).