I'm working on column #134; which will encompass the remaining weeks of September (09/16, 09/23, and 09/30). The Rundown is gigantic, so I'm posting it here to link from the column:
Action Comics V1 (accented letters), Agents Of Atlas V2 (Temugin is called "Temugen"), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (one issue per week; eyes colored incorrectly, Black Cat is missing her mask in a panel, and is it Michelle Gonzales or Michele Gonzales?), The Amazing Spider-Man Presents - Anti-Venom: New Ways to Live (Ñ), Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time (missing word in a sentence), Batman: The Widening Gyre (Batman's costume has obscenely gigantic ears and cape), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Kate Spencer's eyes should be blue), Dark Reign: Lethal Legion (Iron Patriot's armor design is incorrect), Dark Reign: Made Men (Attuma's eye shape and color are wrong, Captain America has a ginormous "A" on his forehead), Dark Reign - The List: X-Men (various eye colors are incorrect, including Norman's, and Anole's arms are both the same), Dark X-Men: The Confession, Fantastic Four V1 (Reed's eyes keep changing color between his correct brown ones and blue eyes, there's a word spelled incorrectly), Fantastic Four Giant-Size Adventures (I don't care if this is an "Adventures" universe; it's unrealistic to think that the FF have never faced Paparazzi), Final Crisis Aftermath: Ink (no, artists don't get to choose random hairstyles for guest characters from other books), Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance (Wally West's ID is not public), G.I. Joe ("perscriptions"!?), G.I. Joe: Cobra Special (word spelled incorrectly), G.I. Joe Origins (Romulans: Schism ad again), Gotham City Sirens (accented letters, eye colors), Herogasm (accented letter), Hulk (words spelled incorrectly), The Incredible Hercules (accented letters), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Banner and Norman's eyes colored incorrectly), The Invincible Iron Man V2 (Norman's eyes), JSA VS. Kobra ("fawcett" City on a monitor), Justice Society Of America V3 (Power Girl's hair and Jay Garrick's costume are incorrect), Madame Xanadu (mangling of the Spanish language, eye color changes), The Mighty Avengers (it's U.S.Agent, not "USAgent"; and the Scarle Witch's eyes are colored incorrectly, even if she's Loki), New Mutants V3 (Utopia looks nothing like it's portrayed here), Power Girl V2 (Power Girl is caught on camera changing into her uniform... are we really to believe that she changes at normal speed out in the open?), Punisher V8 (Jigsaw's eyes are colored incorrectly), Runaways V3 (Nico is made to look Caucasian and with light brown hair), Spider-Woman V4 (wrong costume design), Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (Spock's eyes are colored blue; then go back to his correct brown color; Romulans: Schism ad), Star Wars: Legacy (you don't hack into systems in Star Wars, you "slice"), Supergirl V5 (the WGBS building is called "Daily Star" in a caption), Teen Titans V3 (Beast Boy's design is changed), Thor & Hercules - Encyclopedia Mythologica (it's a handbook, full of mistakes, mostly non-English language ones; I didn't even read it, and found about a dozen at a glance), Thunderbolts (Norman's eyes), Ultimate Armor Wars (accented letter), Uncanny X-Men (Beast does not have yellow eyes), Underground (word spelled incorrectly), Vigilante V3 (Batman's costume is incorrect), War Machine V2 (Norman's eyes), X-Factor V3 (eye color mistakes galore, in two issues), X-Force V3 (Selene's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Men: Legacy (accented letters, character heights).
Showing posts with label Runaways. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Runaways. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Friday, June 05, 2009
The Dissector #118.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Yuri is greatest hero of the Revolution and shit. Anyone who argues other the wise can eat asshole biscuits in Hell." Yuri, Ignition City #3.
This is the story of the continuing efforts of a man to catch up with his col... wait, I'm already caught up? Well, to quote the (not so) great Kitster Chanchani Banai "THAT IS SO WIZARD!" So, let's get on with the column for the week of 05/28; the DT! for the last column was cracked by, surprise, Snakebyte, who correctly pointed out that Blüdhaven was lacking the umlaut. You can't be hardcöre without an umlaut.
Let's move on to The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was, once more, Amazing Spider-Man #595; it has all we need: good art, great characterization, Peter worrying about his loved ones and being frustrated at not being able to take down Norman, and of course, Norman being a manipulative motherfucker, which is much better than just "ha-ha-ha-ha I'm crazy batshit Green Goblin!!!" You want an example of Norman's Palpatinic manipulations? Check out the Moments Of The Week at the end of this column. Oh, and by the way, how does Andy Lanning co-write about half a dozen books a month with Dan Abnett and still have time to ink this book (among others)?
Close second for Best Book Of The Week was the first issue of The Last Days Of Animal Man, but while the issue was good, it just lacked the awesomeness it required for Best Book. Still, a solid read with good writing by experienced pro Gerry Conway and nice art by Chris Batista. Read it.
Worst Book Of The Week was, unsurprisingly, Trinity #52... the only good thing about it is that it was the last issue. Kurt Busiek's and Fabian Nicieza's drawn out, weak, unimaginative plot, which could have been told in two or three issues, finally comes to a rest. How? Well, with a tying up of loose ends and a party at the Keystone Coffee Pier where both heroes and villains can chillax and have a drink, because, of course, since reality is re-arranging itself, nobody will remember secret identities that they shouldn't know. What?
Top that with four different artists, Mark Bagley, Mike Norton, Tom Derenick, and Scott McDaniel, who give the final issue a disjointed look. At best, the art is mediocre, and at worst, it's... well, this:
Eww.... Now, there was one good thing to come out of Trinity: Primat. Girly gorilla? Sold! Wait, no... I'm not a furry!!!
See, she's just fun and cute! You can't see it in that picture, but she's wearing pigtails! Okay, okay. Dissections...
<-------------------------------->
"WORLD WAR II OF FAKE LANGUAGES!"
TITLE: Airboy - 1942: Best Of Enemies (Moonstone).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: Ah, some nice WWII fun, with a good mixture of modern and retro art. Unfortunately, there are some errors; the German is mostly wrong (thanks to Dominik for that), as well as most of the Russian; thanks to Rodiath and his mother for checking the Russian language. Badges for all of them!
In particular, I wanted to highlight a scene in which Soviet mechanics talk in English, but inside brackets, meaning its translated from Russian or some other local language; but it's still written in "bad English", such as "Is no good."
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, having two artists in the book should make the editors mindful of having them follow the same character designs; Airboy gets a haircut between pages.
<-------------------------------->
"DANGER! WOLVERINE IMPOSTOR! WATCH OUT, SPIDEY!"
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 595.
CULPRIT: Chris Chuckry (colorist).
DISSECTION: Now, is it so hard to remember that Wolverine has blue eyes?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU'RE THE FIRST, THE BEST, THE ONLY PANTHER!"
TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11 of 12.
CULPRIT: Tom Brennan (assistant editor) and/or Stephen Wacker (editor).
DISSECTION: The Avengers and the Invaders are fighting alongside the Black Panther from the period; perhaps T'Chaka, although he shouldn't be alive then; whoever it is, it's certainly not "the original Black Panther" as the recap calls him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, why is the word "original" written with a capital "o"? And there's some bad German too (badge for Dominik), not to mention...
<-------------------------------->
"INVADING THIS AVENGING DISSECTION."
TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11 of 12.
CULPRIT: Steve Sadowski & Patrick Berkentotter (artists), maybe even Tom Mason (colorist).
DISSECTION: Catch this one, it's pretty simple.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BATMAN IN BARCELÖNA."
TITLE: Batman In Barcelona: Dragon's Knight (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Steve Wands (letterer).
DISSECTION: Now, this issue is a bag of lame; while it's not bad, it's filler crap at its best. Writer Mark Waid puts in a few unbelievable ideas, such as Batman not being recognized outside of Gotham (Justice League, anyone?), or him not being able to sneak a utility belt through customs (he built Brother Eye, he has access to alien tech, and the best tech humanity has to offer); and there's a few Spanish language mistakes too.
However, what made me cringe were the accents on letters in Spanish or Catalá; I'm used by now (even if I hate it) to letterers making accented vowels smaller in languages like these, but Wands takes the cake here. Look at this couple of examples:
Not only are the accented letters about three quarters the size of the rest of the font (and almost half in some other cases), but also, he's made the accents as almost horizontal lines above the letters! Good God!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YES CAPTÄIN!"
TITLE: Battlefields: The Tankies (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).
DISSECTION: An officer of the SS is given (in a German dialogue) the rank of "Sturmbanfuhrer", when the rank should actually be "Sturmbannführer". Incidentally, this is the SS rank equivalent to a Wehrmacht (army) Major, and it translates as "Storm Unit Leader".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT HOLDING IT CORRECTLY, PER SAI."
TITLE: Dark Reign: Elektra (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 05.
CULPRIT: Lee Bermejo (cover artist).
DISSECTION: Bermejo again has Elektra grip her sai on the cover incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SNAKE AND THE DOE BYTE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 117.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Of course, Snakebyte finds dissections in my dissections. I had one typo that made a sentence sound weird; and most importantly, I credited Chris Claremont with creating Cecilia Reyes, when it was Scott Lobdell. Two badges for Snake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. One badge for JohnnyDoe too, for finding that I had an extra "it" in the Cecilia Reyes dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S A STREET LEVEL KIND OF GUY."
TITLE: Gotham Gazette: Batman Alive (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Alex Konat & Mark McKenna (artists for the Harvey Bullock story).
DISSECTION: I doubt Commissioner Gordon's office is street level? Also, not a dissection, but using a year (2009) for the dates in newspapers and such is not a great idea in a superhero comic with sliding timelines.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK LANTERN."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi & Rod Reis (colorists).
DISSECTION: The circle of the emblem on Hal and John's costumes should be white, not black.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Thanks to Kal for noticing this, badge for him.
<-------------------------------->
"INCREDIBLE ACCENTS."
TITLE: Incredible Hercules (Marvel).
ISSUE: 129.
CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: Bowland, as usual, makes accented letters smaller, including those in the name of colorist Raúl Treviño. And I actually noticed these two when I was looking at the credits to see who the letterer was.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK LANTERN RAGE!!!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 33.
CULPRIT: Rags Morales (penciller).
DISSECTION: Ugh, I don't know if Rags Morales is just not putting any effort to these issues, or if the inker and colorists are destroying his art.
In any case, why the hell is John Stewart holding up his fist in "BLACK RAGE!" style to provide light with his ring? He can create a globe that floats with him, or light that spreads from his ring without him having to carry his fist like a torch...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's incredibly large hand is big enough to cover John Stewart's chest emblem, apparently.
<-------------------------------->
"MADAMA SHANADU."
TITLE: Madame Xanadu (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: As with Zorro, I'm enjoying this book by Wagner, but same as the aforementioned comic, this particular issue has several non-English language mistakes, all in Spanish, except for one in Latin.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each. At least letterer Jared K. Fletcher can get accented letters right.
<-------------------------------->
"OKAY, SOMEONE IN WAKANDA JUST FARTED!"
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).
DISSECTION: Brian, are we really supposed to believe that Wolverine's sense of smell is so good he can specify that a person is four blocks away, in the middle of a city, with brimstoney explosions
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Methinks this is an exaggeration.
<-------------------------------->
"NORTHALNDERS."
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 17.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer).
DISSECTION: "Relfexes" instead of "reflexes".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OUT OF YOUR WORLDMIND."
TITLE: Nova V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 25.
CULPRIT: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning (writer).
DISSECTION: Ego/Worldmind says "Xanadarian" instead of "Xandarian".
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DRAW HER ANY YOUNGER, AND SHE'LL BE A CRAWLAWAY..."
TITLE: Runaways V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Sara Pichelli (artist, "Mollifest Destiny").
DISSECTION: For the Nth time... Molly Hayes is not a midget, she's not five, she's a thirteen-year-old girl, who is NOT half as tall as Wolverine. Pichelli also draws her with short arms and facial features belonging to five-year-old kids...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Klara, although she's probably smaller than a modern pre-teen, due to her background, should not be as small as she's drawn, and should not change sizes between panels. Last, I thought Christina Strain had colored Molly's eyes incorrectly, but she confirmed that her eyes are indeed green. However (I'm sorry, CeeCee), she did color Klara's way too light in the first story.
<-------------------------------->
"LIGHT IN YOUR EYES."
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 688.
CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).
DISSECTION: Dr. Light (Hoshi Kimiyo) has black eyes, but here they're colored brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RINGING ALAN SCOTT."
TITLE: Trinity (DC).
ISSUE: 52.
CULPRIT: Tom Derenick (penciller).
DISSECTION: Alan Scott's ring doesn't look like it should.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's costume is again colored brown.
<-------------------------------->
"SCALPED?"
TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Greg Pak.
DISSECTION: War Machine, wanted under the Superhuman Registration Act, and whatever laws have put Norman Osborn in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R. and all that jazz, takes refuge in an Indian reservation; and apparently, he'll be safe inside the "rez", under tribal law. Uhm, no. Tribal law applies to everyday stuff, but someone who breaks Federal law is persecuted even inside reservation borders. If you have any questions, just ask my new to-go-guy for Tribal Law, Charles S. Aspinwall, Attorney At Law, Cowboy Of Regulations
And he kind of looks like my dad, but in a Cowboy Parallel Universe version!!!!! First my dad looks like a Sinestro Corps Member, then he looks like a Starfleet engineer... and now a Cowboy Lawyer!!! At least they share a profession (lawyer, not cowboy).
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I had a dissection similar to this one, which only got 8 Bazzars, but this time around it's not about a tribal citizen avoiding charges for not being registered; but rather a fugitive fleeing Federal authorities by running into a reservation. Federal authorities (and particularly H.A.M.M.E.R.) would not stop at the "rez" border. Just ask Chuck Aspinwall.
On another note, I'd like to congratulate my dad for being named judge for the Inter-American Court of Human Rights. He's one of Uruguay's (and the Americas') top lawyers, a great teacher, father, and excellent person, and I'm very proud of him. He'll be rocking one of these snazzy robes, yet no wig. I think I'll get him a Green Lantern emblem so I can pretend he's a Guardian Of The Universe. CONGRATULATIONS DAD!!!
<-------------------------------->
"LE ACCENT, MA PETIT."
TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 224.
CULPRIT: Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: The accents in Gambit's French make the accented letters smaller, three times.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well, a heap of dissections for this week, seventy-two, with an average of 6.6 Bazzars. Nice. Now, the Moments Of The Week, so I can put this column to bed. First up, Battlefields is good (well, except for Dear Billy), but Tankies is the best so far... look at this:
A chap in your tracks!!! Damn, that's priceless and I love it! Next, Norman Osborn's manipulations at its best:
So, Harry's (Goblin serum injected) girl has a (goblin serum fucked up) bun in her oven, courtesy of Harry... or Norman? Both of them with goblin serum in them, I bet! And finally:
Yes, finally! Gambit and Rogue finally, after around fifteen years, What they could have done with an inhibitor collar, or a five-buck bribe to Leech! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Yuri is greatest hero of the Revolution and shit. Anyone who argues other the wise can eat asshole biscuits in Hell." Yuri, Ignition City #3.
This is the story of the continuing efforts of a man to catch up with his col... wait, I'm already caught up? Well, to quote the (not so) great Kitster Chanchani Banai "THAT IS SO WIZARD!" So, let's get on with the column for the week of 05/28; the DT! for the last column was cracked by, surprise, Snakebyte, who correctly pointed out that Blüdhaven was lacking the umlaut. You can't be hardcöre without an umlaut.
Let's move on to The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was, once more, Amazing Spider-Man #595; it has all we need: good art, great characterization, Peter worrying about his loved ones and being frustrated at not being able to take down Norman, and of course, Norman being a manipulative motherfucker, which is much better than just "ha-ha-ha-ha I'm crazy batshit Green Goblin!!!" You want an example of Norman's Palpatinic manipulations? Check out the Moments Of The Week at the end of this column. Oh, and by the way, how does Andy Lanning co-write about half a dozen books a month with Dan Abnett and still have time to ink this book (among others)?
Close second for Best Book Of The Week was the first issue of The Last Days Of Animal Man, but while the issue was good, it just lacked the awesomeness it required for Best Book. Still, a solid read with good writing by experienced pro Gerry Conway and nice art by Chris Batista. Read it.
Worst Book Of The Week was, unsurprisingly, Trinity #52... the only good thing about it is that it was the last issue. Kurt Busiek's and Fabian Nicieza's drawn out, weak, unimaginative plot, which could have been told in two or three issues, finally comes to a rest. How? Well, with a tying up of loose ends and a party at the Keystone Coffee Pier where both heroes and villains can chillax and have a drink, because, of course, since reality is re-arranging itself, nobody will remember secret identities that they shouldn't know. What?
Top that with four different artists, Mark Bagley, Mike Norton, Tom Derenick, and Scott McDaniel, who give the final issue a disjointed look. At best, the art is mediocre, and at worst, it's... well, this:
Eww.... Now, there was one good thing to come out of Trinity: Primat. Girly gorilla? Sold! Wait, no... I'm not a furry!!!
See, she's just fun and cute! You can't see it in that picture, but she's wearing pigtails! Okay, okay. Dissections...
<-------------------------------->
"WORLD WAR II OF FAKE LANGUAGES!"
TITLE: Airboy - 1942: Best Of Enemies (Moonstone).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: Ah, some nice WWII fun, with a good mixture of modern and retro art. Unfortunately, there are some errors; the German is mostly wrong (thanks to Dominik for that), as well as most of the Russian; thanks to Rodiath and his mother for checking the Russian language. Badges for all of them!
In particular, I wanted to highlight a scene in which Soviet mechanics talk in English, but inside brackets, meaning its translated from Russian or some other local language; but it's still written in "bad English", such as "Is no good."
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, having two artists in the book should make the editors mindful of having them follow the same character designs; Airboy gets a haircut between pages.
<-------------------------------->
"DANGER! WOLVERINE IMPOSTOR! WATCH OUT, SPIDEY!"
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 595.
CULPRIT: Chris Chuckry (colorist).
DISSECTION: Now, is it so hard to remember that Wolverine has blue eyes?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU'RE THE FIRST, THE BEST, THE ONLY PANTHER!"
TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11 of 12.
CULPRIT: Tom Brennan (assistant editor) and/or Stephen Wacker (editor).
DISSECTION: The Avengers and the Invaders are fighting alongside the Black Panther from the period; perhaps T'Chaka, although he shouldn't be alive then; whoever it is, it's certainly not "the original Black Panther" as the recap calls him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, why is the word "original" written with a capital "o"? And there's some bad German too (badge for Dominik), not to mention...
<-------------------------------->
"INVADING THIS AVENGING DISSECTION."
TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11 of 12.
CULPRIT: Steve Sadowski & Patrick Berkentotter (artists), maybe even Tom Mason (colorist).
DISSECTION: Catch this one, it's pretty simple.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BATMAN IN BARCELÖNA."
TITLE: Batman In Barcelona: Dragon's Knight (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Steve Wands (letterer).
DISSECTION: Now, this issue is a bag of lame; while it's not bad, it's filler crap at its best. Writer Mark Waid puts in a few unbelievable ideas, such as Batman not being recognized outside of Gotham (Justice League, anyone?), or him not being able to sneak a utility belt through customs (he built Brother Eye, he has access to alien tech, and the best tech humanity has to offer); and there's a few Spanish language mistakes too.
However, what made me cringe were the accents on letters in Spanish or Catalá; I'm used by now (even if I hate it) to letterers making accented vowels smaller in languages like these, but Wands takes the cake here. Look at this couple of examples:
Not only are the accented letters about three quarters the size of the rest of the font (and almost half in some other cases), but also, he's made the accents as almost horizontal lines above the letters! Good God!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YES CAPTÄIN!"
TITLE: Battlefields: The Tankies (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).
DISSECTION: An officer of the SS is given (in a German dialogue) the rank of "Sturmbanfuhrer", when the rank should actually be "Sturmbannführer". Incidentally, this is the SS rank equivalent to a Wehrmacht (army) Major, and it translates as "Storm Unit Leader".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT HOLDING IT CORRECTLY, PER SAI."
TITLE: Dark Reign: Elektra (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 05.
CULPRIT: Lee Bermejo (cover artist).
DISSECTION: Bermejo again has Elektra grip her sai on the cover incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SNAKE AND THE DOE BYTE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 117.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Of course, Snakebyte finds dissections in my dissections. I had one typo that made a sentence sound weird; and most importantly, I credited Chris Claremont with creating Cecilia Reyes, when it was Scott Lobdell. Two badges for Snake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. One badge for JohnnyDoe too, for finding that I had an extra "it" in the Cecilia Reyes dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S A STREET LEVEL KIND OF GUY."
TITLE: Gotham Gazette: Batman Alive (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Alex Konat & Mark McKenna (artists for the Harvey Bullock story).
DISSECTION: I doubt Commissioner Gordon's office is street level? Also, not a dissection, but using a year (2009) for the dates in newspapers and such is not a great idea in a superhero comic with sliding timelines.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK LANTERN."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi & Rod Reis (colorists).
DISSECTION: The circle of the emblem on Hal and John's costumes should be white, not black.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Thanks to Kal for noticing this, badge for him.
<-------------------------------->
"INCREDIBLE ACCENTS."
TITLE: Incredible Hercules (Marvel).
ISSUE: 129.
CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: Bowland, as usual, makes accented letters smaller, including those in the name of colorist Raúl Treviño. And I actually noticed these two when I was looking at the credits to see who the letterer was.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK LANTERN RAGE!!!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 33.
CULPRIT: Rags Morales (penciller).
DISSECTION: Ugh, I don't know if Rags Morales is just not putting any effort to these issues, or if the inker and colorists are destroying his art.
In any case, why the hell is John Stewart holding up his fist in "BLACK RAGE!" style to provide light with his ring? He can create a globe that floats with him, or light that spreads from his ring without him having to carry his fist like a torch...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's incredibly large hand is big enough to cover John Stewart's chest emblem, apparently.
<-------------------------------->
"MADAMA SHANADU."
TITLE: Madame Xanadu (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: As with Zorro, I'm enjoying this book by Wagner, but same as the aforementioned comic, this particular issue has several non-English language mistakes, all in Spanish, except for one in Latin.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each. At least letterer Jared K. Fletcher can get accented letters right.
<-------------------------------->
"OKAY, SOMEONE IN WAKANDA JUST FARTED!"
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).
DISSECTION: Brian, are we really supposed to believe that Wolverine's sense of smell is so good he can specify that a person is four blocks away, in the middle of a city, with brimstoney explosions
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Methinks this is an exaggeration.
<-------------------------------->
"NORTHALNDERS."
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 17.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer).
DISSECTION: "Relfexes" instead of "reflexes".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OUT OF YOUR WORLDMIND."
TITLE: Nova V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 25.
CULPRIT: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning (writer).
DISSECTION: Ego/Worldmind says "Xanadarian" instead of "Xandarian".
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DRAW HER ANY YOUNGER, AND SHE'LL BE A CRAWLAWAY..."
TITLE: Runaways V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Sara Pichelli (artist, "Mollifest Destiny").
DISSECTION: For the Nth time... Molly Hayes is not a midget, she's not five, she's a thirteen-year-old girl, who is NOT half as tall as Wolverine. Pichelli also draws her with short arms and facial features belonging to five-year-old kids...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Klara, although she's probably smaller than a modern pre-teen, due to her background, should not be as small as she's drawn, and should not change sizes between panels. Last, I thought Christina Strain had colored Molly's eyes incorrectly, but she confirmed that her eyes are indeed green. However (I'm sorry, CeeCee), she did color Klara's way too light in the first story.
<-------------------------------->
"LIGHT IN YOUR EYES."
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 688.
CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).
DISSECTION: Dr. Light (Hoshi Kimiyo) has black eyes, but here they're colored brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RINGING ALAN SCOTT."
TITLE: Trinity (DC).
ISSUE: 52.
CULPRIT: Tom Derenick (penciller).
DISSECTION: Alan Scott's ring doesn't look like it should.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's costume is again colored brown.
<-------------------------------->
"SCALPED?"
TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Greg Pak.
DISSECTION: War Machine, wanted under the Superhuman Registration Act, and whatever laws have put Norman Osborn in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R. and all that jazz, takes refuge in an Indian reservation; and apparently, he'll be safe inside the "rez", under tribal law. Uhm, no. Tribal law applies to everyday stuff, but someone who breaks Federal law is persecuted even inside reservation borders. If you have any questions, just ask my new to-go-guy for Tribal Law, Charles S. Aspinwall, Attorney At Law, Cowboy Of Regulations
And he kind of looks like my dad, but in a Cowboy Parallel Universe version!!!!! First my dad looks like a Sinestro Corps Member, then he looks like a Starfleet engineer... and now a Cowboy Lawyer!!! At least they share a profession (lawyer, not cowboy).
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I had a dissection similar to this one, which only got 8 Bazzars, but this time around it's not about a tribal citizen avoiding charges for not being registered; but rather a fugitive fleeing Federal authorities by running into a reservation. Federal authorities (and particularly H.A.M.M.E.R.) would not stop at the "rez" border. Just ask Chuck Aspinwall.
On another note, I'd like to congratulate my dad for being named judge for the Inter-American Court of Human Rights. He's one of Uruguay's (and the Americas') top lawyers, a great teacher, father, and excellent person, and I'm very proud of him. He'll be rocking one of these snazzy robes, yet no wig. I think I'll get him a Green Lantern emblem so I can pretend he's a Guardian Of The Universe. CONGRATULATIONS DAD!!!
<-------------------------------->
"LE ACCENT, MA PETIT."
TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 224.
CULPRIT: Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: The accents in Gambit's French make the accented letters smaller, three times.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well, a heap of dissections for this week, seventy-two, with an average of 6.6 Bazzars. Nice. Now, the Moments Of The Week, so I can put this column to bed. First up, Battlefields is good (well, except for Dear Billy), but Tankies is the best so far... look at this:
A chap in your tracks!!! Damn, that's priceless and I love it! Next, Norman Osborn's manipulations at its best:
So, Harry's (Goblin serum injected) girl has a (goblin serum fucked up) bun in her oven, courtesy of Harry... or Norman? Both of them with goblin serum in them, I bet! And finally:
Yes, finally! Gambit and Rogue finally, after around fifteen years, What they could have done with an inhibitor collar, or a five-buck bribe to Leech! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Dissector #89.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Jason's problem is his insecurity-- he's the Jan Brady of the Bat-family. (and yes, I know that makes me Cindy)" Tim Drake, about Jason Todd, Robin V2 #177.
With that sense of humor, you can't ever be Batman, Timmy Drake.... Welcome to the column about comics released on 08/20, and I'd like to apologize to Snakebyte for forgetting to credit him last week for spotting the fact that I had written "July" instead of "August". Speaking of Snakebyte, he also got the DT! from last column immediately; the Xavier mansion looked nothing like it should. So that's two badges for him; three more and he makes Captain!
Now, as for The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was than geekgasmic first issue of Final Crisis: Legion Of Three Worlds; with a great plot by Geoff Johns, and good (if a little too classic for some people's tastes) art by George Perez. And it can only get better! Worst Book Of The Week was this August's installment of Rann/Thanagar Holy War, #4, it's just sleep-inducing.
Before moving on to the body of the column, I'd like to take a moment to apologize (partly, I also want to explain myself) to Christina Strain. If you're a reader of my column, you'll know that some time ago she corrected me about a character's eye colors, and I happily retracted. She took it well, and I was grateful for that; I know that sometimes it's hard to understand that I mean no offense and that The Dissector is an alter-ego, not the actual MaGnUs (or Martín A. Pérez, if you insist on legal names). However, last column I pointed out something regarding the same character and the same book, and this time it was an actual error, and unfortunately, Christina took offense at it. I partially quote from her post: "Aren't you the adorable nerd. (...) Thanks for being that guy. Cause really we need more of you in comics."
Whoa; Christina, I'm really sorry that you feel that way (although thanks for checking out my column); it's not my intention to insult you, in fact, I urge you to read the disclaimer linked at the top of each of my columns. Please allow me to reinforce two concepts from my disclaimer: 1) That I have absolute respect for the work creators and editors do (in fact, Runaways is one of my favorite books since it came out, and that's in part thanks to your work), and 2) That the column is written partially in character, and that it's not fair that I take full heat for what The Dissector says, the same way, say, Brian K. Vaughan can't be accused of human sacrifice just because The Pride did so in the original Runaways book. I know it's a bit harder to see in my case, since my column is written by a "semi-fictitious persona"; but again, I assure you that I hold nothing but appreciation, respect, and in many cases, admiration for the people who make the comics I read.
Then I found this post in her own blog, and I could get better insight as to how she feels. Again, that I'm sorry I made her feel that way; I'm not in this to offend creators, in fact, I like Strain's work A LOT. My column is not a review column; if I was to review a book of yours, the colors would get compliments, because I think you're one of the best colorists out there these days, or even the occasional constructive criticism... but that's not what The Dissector is.
On the other hand, Christina, if being mentioned in my column offends you, or bothers you, or whatnot, just say the word, and I won't ever mention any mistakes you made (or I think you made) again. EVER. Thanks for the work you do, the only reason I notice any mistakes you make (or I think you make), is because I'm paying attention to the colorist's work, because I care about all aspects of a comic. My apologies if I offended you, and thank you for reading.
And now, the meat and potatoes of this column, the dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"SPACE ODDITY."
TITLE: Anna Mercury (Avatar).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).
DISSECTION: Dominik spotted this one; whenever Mercury speaks to her "ground control", she says "Mercury. Launchpad.", and then whatever her message is, when it should be the other way around; military (or related) radio communications are started by first stating who you are addressing and then who you are.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU REALLY HAVEN'T GOT THE SLIGHTEST INK-LING OF WHO I AM, DO YOU?""
TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Ryan Benjamin (penciller).
DISSECTION: Grace is, once more, missing her midriff tattoos.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S CHLOE BERRY TIME!"
TITLE: Comic Book Comics (Evil Twin Comics).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer) and/or unnamed letterer.
DISSECTION: This book actually came out earlier than August 20, but I just got my hands on it and the second issue. Great look at comics' history; in the same vein than Action Philosophers (from the same team). I found just one dissection; the first Blue Beetle utters "It's Guiliani time!"; spelling Rudolph Giuliani's last name incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WONDERBREAD."
TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer) and/or John J. Hill (letterer).
DISSECTION: Again, "Wondergirl" instead of "Wonder Girl".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I WISH IT WOULD END SOONER."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 82.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I just noticed that in that column I said that Rann/Thanagar Holy War had four issues, when it's eight issues long.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LEGION OF... FOUR WORLDS?"
TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of Three Worlds (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Brainiac 5's eyes are colored purple; when they should be green, as they have been in Pre-Zero Hour, Post-Zero Hour, and Threeboot. LSH cartoon Brainy has purple eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Not only that, but he colors other eyes incorrectly, including one character (not a Durlan) who changes eye colors between panels. Also, Geoff Johns again decides not to list Superman's invulnerability as one of his powers.
<-------------------------------->
"EYE CAN'T SEE!"
TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 243.
CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).
DISSECTION: For some reason Jai West's eyes disappear from his mask between panels. You either wear a mask that lets your eyes be seen, or you wear one that covers them.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, they could be reflective lenses. Wait, no, his eyelashes come out of them, so no, not lenses. 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: After a battle with Amazo trashes the Hall Of Justice (located in Washington, DC), Batman mentions that there's lot of work to be done: "State and federal paperwork (...)" However, as Bats should know, the District of Columbia is not a part of any state, and therefore, cannot be subject to any kind of state paperwork whatsoever.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT THIS LEAGUE."
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Allan Goldman (penciller).
DISSECTION: Come on, this one's easy:
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IO SONO MEXICANO!"
TITLE: The Punisher V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 61.
CULPRIT: Gregg Hurwitz (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Gregg, the Mexican sweet bread is called "pan dulce", "dolce" is an Italian word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's a few tilde and accented letter sizes issues, as in Zorro.
<-------------------------------->
"AROUND THE GALAXY WEARING SOCKS."
TITLE: Rann/Thanagar Holy War (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 08.
CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller) and/or John Kalisz (colorist).
DISSECTION: Once more, Animal Man's not wearing his boots.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOMETHING ONE."
TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 51.
CULPRIT: Michael Green & Mike Johnson (writers).
DISSECTION: Alright, so it doesn't suck as much the previous issue, still, there's a couple of art dissections, and on top of that, the writers watched Independence Day and thinks that the Air Force One can be called "Eagle One". Nope. Any aircraft carrying the President Of The United States Of America (officially, I doubt an al-Qaeda plane that kidnaps him would qualify) immediately adopts the callsign "Air Force One".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T TALKING TO ME!"
TITLE: Universal War One (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Unnamed letterer.
DISSECTION: The Admiral is talking to his daughter, and one of his speech balloons is attached to her, which is funny because he actually says "and you're not talking to me" or something to that effect.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KNOW STUFF, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL GREEK MYTHOLOGY NAMES."
TITLE: X-Factor Special: Layla Miller (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Peter David (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Cyclops is called "Cylcops" in one panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, the "ö" in Martin Niemöller's name is smaller than the rest of the letters.
<-------------------------------->
Well, this time around we have twenty-five dissections, with an average of 6.3 Bazzars... I thought it was going to be higher. Let's go with the Moments Of The Week, Black Canary versus Amazo sounds hopeless for her, doesn't it? Think again:
Sonic scream versus super hearing? Ouch! Then, another Black Canary moment:
Batman: pwnd! Still in the DC Universe, the high school I would have loved to attend:
Nerd paradise! Over to Marvel, and some decades into the future:
It's the Summers Rebellion, at last! Next, what Kirby did when he wasn't drawing in the 50s:
Hahahah... I can't help but laughing at those panels. Then, back to DC, and even further into the future, Lighting Lad tells the politicians off:
Well said, LL! And finally, still with the Legion, RJ Brande is killed and the three founding legionnaires can do nothing to prevent it. A dark mirror image of what brought them together in the first place:
Damn... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Jason's problem is his insecurity-- he's the Jan Brady of the Bat-family. (and yes, I know that makes me Cindy)" Tim Drake, about Jason Todd, Robin V2 #177.
With that sense of humor, you can't ever be Batman, Timmy Drake.... Welcome to the column about comics released on 08/20, and I'd like to apologize to Snakebyte for forgetting to credit him last week for spotting the fact that I had written "July" instead of "August". Speaking of Snakebyte, he also got the DT! from last column immediately; the Xavier mansion looked nothing like it should. So that's two badges for him; three more and he makes Captain!
Now, as for The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was than geekgasmic first issue of Final Crisis: Legion Of Three Worlds; with a great plot by Geoff Johns, and good (if a little too classic for some people's tastes) art by George Perez. And it can only get better! Worst Book Of The Week was this August's installment of Rann/Thanagar Holy War, #4, it's just sleep-inducing.
Before moving on to the body of the column, I'd like to take a moment to apologize (partly, I also want to explain myself) to Christina Strain. If you're a reader of my column, you'll know that some time ago she corrected me about a character's eye colors, and I happily retracted. She took it well, and I was grateful for that; I know that sometimes it's hard to understand that I mean no offense and that The Dissector is an alter-ego, not the actual MaGnUs (or Martín A. Pérez, if you insist on legal names). However, last column I pointed out something regarding the same character and the same book, and this time it was an actual error, and unfortunately, Christina took offense at it. I partially quote from her post: "Aren't you the adorable nerd. (...) Thanks for being that guy. Cause really we need more of you in comics."
Whoa; Christina, I'm really sorry that you feel that way (although thanks for checking out my column); it's not my intention to insult you, in fact, I urge you to read the disclaimer linked at the top of each of my columns. Please allow me to reinforce two concepts from my disclaimer: 1) That I have absolute respect for the work creators and editors do (in fact, Runaways is one of my favorite books since it came out, and that's in part thanks to your work), and 2) That the column is written partially in character, and that it's not fair that I take full heat for what The Dissector says, the same way, say, Brian K. Vaughan can't be accused of human sacrifice just because The Pride did so in the original Runaways book. I know it's a bit harder to see in my case, since my column is written by a "semi-fictitious persona"; but again, I assure you that I hold nothing but appreciation, respect, and in many cases, admiration for the people who make the comics I read.
Then I found this post in her own blog, and I could get better insight as to how she feels. Again, that I'm sorry I made her feel that way; I'm not in this to offend creators, in fact, I like Strain's work A LOT. My column is not a review column; if I was to review a book of yours, the colors would get compliments, because I think you're one of the best colorists out there these days, or even the occasional constructive criticism... but that's not what The Dissector is.
On the other hand, Christina, if being mentioned in my column offends you, or bothers you, or whatnot, just say the word, and I won't ever mention any mistakes you made (or I think you made) again. EVER. Thanks for the work you do, the only reason I notice any mistakes you make (or I think you make), is because I'm paying attention to the colorist's work, because I care about all aspects of a comic. My apologies if I offended you, and thank you for reading.
And now, the meat and potatoes of this column, the dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"SPACE ODDITY."
TITLE: Anna Mercury (Avatar).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).
DISSECTION: Dominik spotted this one; whenever Mercury speaks to her "ground control", she says "Mercury. Launchpad.", and then whatever her message is, when it should be the other way around; military (or related) radio communications are started by first stating who you are addressing and then who you are.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU REALLY HAVEN'T GOT THE SLIGHTEST INK-LING OF WHO I AM, DO YOU?""
TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Ryan Benjamin (penciller).
DISSECTION: Grace is, once more, missing her midriff tattoos.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S CHLOE BERRY TIME!"
TITLE: Comic Book Comics (Evil Twin Comics).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer) and/or unnamed letterer.
DISSECTION: This book actually came out earlier than August 20, but I just got my hands on it and the second issue. Great look at comics' history; in the same vein than Action Philosophers (from the same team). I found just one dissection; the first Blue Beetle utters "It's Guiliani time!"; spelling Rudolph Giuliani's last name incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WONDERBREAD."
TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer) and/or John J. Hill (letterer).
DISSECTION: Again, "Wondergirl" instead of "Wonder Girl".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I WISH IT WOULD END SOONER."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 82.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I just noticed that in that column I said that Rann/Thanagar Holy War had four issues, when it's eight issues long.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LEGION OF... FOUR WORLDS?"
TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of Three Worlds (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Brainiac 5's eyes are colored purple; when they should be green, as they have been in Pre-Zero Hour, Post-Zero Hour, and Threeboot. LSH cartoon Brainy has purple eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Not only that, but he colors other eyes incorrectly, including one character (not a Durlan) who changes eye colors between panels. Also, Geoff Johns again decides not to list Superman's invulnerability as one of his powers.
<-------------------------------->
"EYE CAN'T SEE!"
TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 243.
CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).
DISSECTION: For some reason Jai West's eyes disappear from his mask between panels. You either wear a mask that lets your eyes be seen, or you wear one that covers them.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, they could be reflective lenses. Wait, no, his eyelashes come out of them, so no, not lenses. 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: After a battle with Amazo trashes the Hall Of Justice (located in Washington, DC), Batman mentions that there's lot of work to be done: "State and federal paperwork (...)" However, as Bats should know, the District of Columbia is not a part of any state, and therefore, cannot be subject to any kind of state paperwork whatsoever.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT THIS LEAGUE."
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Allan Goldman (penciller).
DISSECTION: Come on, this one's easy:
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IO SONO MEXICANO!"
TITLE: The Punisher V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 61.
CULPRIT: Gregg Hurwitz (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Gregg, the Mexican sweet bread is called "pan dulce", "dolce" is an Italian word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's a few tilde and accented letter sizes issues, as in Zorro.
<-------------------------------->
"AROUND THE GALAXY WEARING SOCKS."
TITLE: Rann/Thanagar Holy War (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 08.
CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller) and/or John Kalisz (colorist).
DISSECTION: Once more, Animal Man's not wearing his boots.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOMETHING ONE."
TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 51.
CULPRIT: Michael Green & Mike Johnson (writers).
DISSECTION: Alright, so it doesn't suck as much the previous issue, still, there's a couple of art dissections, and on top of that, the writers watched Independence Day and thinks that the Air Force One can be called "Eagle One". Nope. Any aircraft carrying the President Of The United States Of America (officially, I doubt an al-Qaeda plane that kidnaps him would qualify) immediately adopts the callsign "Air Force One".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T TALKING TO ME!"
TITLE: Universal War One (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Unnamed letterer.
DISSECTION: The Admiral is talking to his daughter, and one of his speech balloons is attached to her, which is funny because he actually says "and you're not talking to me" or something to that effect.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KNOW STUFF, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL GREEK MYTHOLOGY NAMES."
TITLE: X-Factor Special: Layla Miller (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Peter David (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Cyclops is called "Cylcops" in one panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, the "ö" in Martin Niemöller's name is smaller than the rest of the letters.
<-------------------------------->
Well, this time around we have twenty-five dissections, with an average of 6.3 Bazzars... I thought it was going to be higher. Let's go with the Moments Of The Week, Black Canary versus Amazo sounds hopeless for her, doesn't it? Think again:
Sonic scream versus super hearing? Ouch! Then, another Black Canary moment:
Batman: pwnd! Still in the DC Universe, the high school I would have loved to attend:
Nerd paradise! Over to Marvel, and some decades into the future:
It's the Summers Rebellion, at last! Next, what Kirby did when he wasn't drawing in the 50s:
Hahahah... I can't help but laughing at those panels. Then, back to DC, and even further into the future, Lighting Lad tells the politicians off:
Well said, LL! And finally, still with the Legion, RJ Brande is killed and the three founding legionnaires can do nothing to prevent it. A dark mirror image of what brought them together in the first place:
Damn... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Dissector #88.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Zombie Vs Zombie!" Only one can survive! Though technically, NEITHER HAS! Swee, Everybody's Dead #4.
Well, here I am. Still trying to catch up; this is the column for comics released on 08/13, and we inch a bit closer to... well, comics are still coming out, so nothing. Last column's DT! was spotted by The Guvnor, and it was indeed the fact that Wolverine's eyes are supposed to be blue, not brown. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Short and simple, Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo: The Dogs Of War #1; WWII and Atomic Robo? YES! Worst book of the week was The Last Defenders #6; a boring end to a boring mini. Now, read them dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT DATE IT IS ANYMORE!"
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 87.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: First things first! Or rather, in alphabetical order. I said last column that it was the first column for the month of July, when I of course meant August, since it was about comics published on 08/06.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, just to show you I'm not soft on myself.
<-------------------------------->
"ZOMBIE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT."
TITLE: Everybody's Dead (IDW Publishing).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Brian Lynch (writer) and/or Chris Mowry (letterer).
DISSECTION: Great final issue, almost was Best Book Of The Week. For some reason, Zombie Mosby says "cu it ou" instead of "cut it out"; something not consistent with his zombie speech patterns.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KEEPIN' IT CASUAL."
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 27.
CULPRIT: Luke Ross (penciller).
DISSECTION: Soranik Natu is missing her GL emblem in a panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WATCHIE THISIE!"
TITLE: Green Arrow/Black Canary (DC)
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).
DISSECTION: Again, the Italian assassin shows he's not really Italian. He says "osservi" to mean "look"; but it actually means "looking".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S A SKRULL!!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Inhumans (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Guru FX (colorist).
DISSECTION: Black Bolt's hair is colored light brown, instead of black as it should be.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ANOTHER SKRULL!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Christina Strain (colorist).
DISSECTION: CeeCee! After all the trouble you went through to tell us how Victor's eyes were green, you go and colored them brown?
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, and it's not higher because I know you just made honest-to-Galactus mistake here, or someone sabotaged your colors.
<-------------------------------->
"MORE SKRULLS!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Cary Nord (artist).
DISSECTION: Colossus in his unarmored form is drawn too big compared to other characters. Also, thanks to Dominik (who makes Lieutenant Commander in the HDSC), who checked the German in Nightcrawler's dialogues and found it wrong, in two counts, as I thought. I might not speak German, but I can sure be suspicious of writers...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OHMAGAUZAEMOARSKRULLZ!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05 of 08.
CULPRIT: Laura Martin & Emily Warren (colorists).
DISSECTION: Clint Barton's eyes are colored brown, when they should be (as with 99% of comic book characters) blue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S WEARING MAKE-UP."
TITLE: Trinity (DC).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Mark Bagley (penciller).
DISSECTION: Red Arrow is missing his tattoo on his right bicep, and the armband he usually has to conceal it. So actually, this is two dissections.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the tattoo.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION ORIGINS."
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Jean Grey (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Mike Mayhew (artist).
DISSECTION: Spot me this one...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOMBIA: LESS OF A COUNTRY THAN BARATARIA."
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Apart from all the language dissections (Spanish, as well as English and French too!), there's an historical one. Yes, I know this is an alternate history, but still, some things are just mistakes. Jean Lafitte says he's a privateer certified by the state of Colombia. In the moment this story happens (young Diego de la Vega returns to California), there is no such thing as "the state of Colombia". Lafitte had a letter of marque from Cartagena de Indias; today a city part of Colombia, but in that time an independent state.
The name "Colombia" was coined by was conceived by the Francisco de Miranda as a reference to all the New World, especially to those territories under Spanish and Portuguese rule. The name was only adopted by what we know today as Colombia in 1819, when the Republic of Colombia was formed.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Still, "yarr!" for pirates (because "yay" is not very pirate-y), since it was TLAPD recently. Happy Talk Like Pirate Day, mateys!
<-------------------------------->
"SORRO."
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: There's seventeen language dissections in this issue; one in English, one in French, and the rest in Spanish. The worst one in Spanish (the rest are tildes and the like) is writing grandmother as "abulea" instead of "abuela".
Speaking of Zorro; while researching the previous dissection, I found out that Zorro Productions, Inc., thinks that it's Dynamic Forces that's making the comic, instead of Dynamite Entertainment. I've e-mailed both companies (Zorro and Dynamite), to let them know.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Thirty-one dissections gives us an average of 6.7 Bazzars, figured it'd be around that. Now, the Moments Of The Week! First up, Booster might be the world's greatest hero, but he still can't help himself:
Heh! Then, robots in flip-flops and swimming trunks, who can resist!
I want those flip-flops... Next, a new joint opens in Oa:
It's Warriors, space edition! And last, Professor X is a creepy, dirty old man:
Remember when he would mope about his romantic feelings for Jean Grey, who not only was his student, but had also been his patient, and less than half his age? Yeah, ew. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Zombie Vs Zombie!" Only one can survive! Though technically, NEITHER HAS! Swee, Everybody's Dead #4.
Well, here I am. Still trying to catch up; this is the column for comics released on 08/13, and we inch a bit closer to... well, comics are still coming out, so nothing. Last column's DT! was spotted by The Guvnor, and it was indeed the fact that Wolverine's eyes are supposed to be blue, not brown. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Short and simple, Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo: The Dogs Of War #1; WWII and Atomic Robo? YES! Worst book of the week was The Last Defenders #6; a boring end to a boring mini. Now, read them dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT DATE IT IS ANYMORE!"
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 87.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: First things first! Or rather, in alphabetical order. I said last column that it was the first column for the month of July, when I of course meant August, since it was about comics published on 08/06.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, just to show you I'm not soft on myself.
<-------------------------------->
"ZOMBIE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT."
TITLE: Everybody's Dead (IDW Publishing).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Brian Lynch (writer) and/or Chris Mowry (letterer).
DISSECTION: Great final issue, almost was Best Book Of The Week. For some reason, Zombie Mosby says "cu it ou" instead of "cut it out"; something not consistent with his zombie speech patterns.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KEEPIN' IT CASUAL."
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 27.
CULPRIT: Luke Ross (penciller).
DISSECTION: Soranik Natu is missing her GL emblem in a panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WATCHIE THISIE!"
TITLE: Green Arrow/Black Canary (DC)
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).
DISSECTION: Again, the Italian assassin shows he's not really Italian. He says "osservi" to mean "look"; but it actually means "looking".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S A SKRULL!!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Inhumans (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Guru FX (colorist).
DISSECTION: Black Bolt's hair is colored light brown, instead of black as it should be.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ANOTHER SKRULL!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Christina Strain (colorist).
DISSECTION: CeeCee! After all the trouble you went through to tell us how Victor's eyes were green, you go and colored them brown?
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, and it's not higher because I know you just made honest-to-Galactus mistake here, or someone sabotaged your colors.
<-------------------------------->
"MORE SKRULLS!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Cary Nord (artist).
DISSECTION: Colossus in his unarmored form is drawn too big compared to other characters. Also, thanks to Dominik (who makes Lieutenant Commander in the HDSC), who checked the German in Nightcrawler's dialogues and found it wrong, in two counts, as I thought. I might not speak German, but I can sure be suspicious of writers...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OHMAGAUZAEMOARSKRULLZ!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05 of 08.
CULPRIT: Laura Martin & Emily Warren (colorists).
DISSECTION: Clint Barton's eyes are colored brown, when they should be (as with 99% of comic book characters) blue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S WEARING MAKE-UP."
TITLE: Trinity (DC).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Mark Bagley (penciller).
DISSECTION: Red Arrow is missing his tattoo on his right bicep, and the armband he usually has to conceal it. So actually, this is two dissections.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the tattoo.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION ORIGINS."
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Jean Grey (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Mike Mayhew (artist).
DISSECTION: Spot me this one...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOMBIA: LESS OF A COUNTRY THAN BARATARIA."
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Apart from all the language dissections (Spanish, as well as English and French too!), there's an historical one. Yes, I know this is an alternate history, but still, some things are just mistakes. Jean Lafitte says he's a privateer certified by the state of Colombia. In the moment this story happens (young Diego de la Vega returns to California), there is no such thing as "the state of Colombia". Lafitte had a letter of marque from Cartagena de Indias; today a city part of Colombia, but in that time an independent state.
The name "Colombia" was coined by was conceived by the Francisco de Miranda as a reference to all the New World, especially to those territories under Spanish and Portuguese rule. The name was only adopted by what we know today as Colombia in 1819, when the Republic of Colombia was formed.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Still, "yarr!" for pirates (because "yay" is not very pirate-y), since it was TLAPD recently. Happy Talk Like Pirate Day, mateys!
<-------------------------------->
"SORRO."
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: There's seventeen language dissections in this issue; one in English, one in French, and the rest in Spanish. The worst one in Spanish (the rest are tildes and the like) is writing grandmother as "abulea" instead of "abuela".
Speaking of Zorro; while researching the previous dissection, I found out that Zorro Productions, Inc., thinks that it's Dynamic Forces that's making the comic, instead of Dynamite Entertainment. I've e-mailed both companies (Zorro and Dynamite), to let them know.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Thirty-one dissections gives us an average of 6.7 Bazzars, figured it'd be around that. Now, the Moments Of The Week! First up, Booster might be the world's greatest hero, but he still can't help himself:
Heh! Then, robots in flip-flops and swimming trunks, who can resist!
I want those flip-flops... Next, a new joint opens in Oa:
It's Warriors, space edition! And last, Professor X is a creepy, dirty old man:
Remember when he would mope about his romantic feelings for Jean Grey, who not only was his student, but had also been his patient, and less than half his age? Yeah, ew. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Creator sighting! Double Creator Sighting!!!
So, within one day, I get two creators to rebuke dissections, good! First, the lovely and talented Christina Strain, colorist for Runaways among other things, drops by the comments for column #81 and says: "Victor's eyes have always been green. People just seem to assume they're brown. And I'm positive about this because I picked the original color for them back when he was introduced into the series."
CeeCee (can I call you that?), thanks for stopping by; I'll bow to you on this (hell, you're such a good colorist, and such a beautiful woman, that I'd bow to you anyway!). I should have checked a comic book first; but the only sources I had on hand were wikis, both Marvel Universe and Marvel Database, and they both had him with brown eyes... also, Jo Chen colors Victor's eyes brown on covers. My bad, I've edited those wiki pages following your authoritative information. Digging up my Marvel Handbook to see what it says there... yup, "hazel", but I'll still be retracting in my next column.
Once more, thanks for stopping by, and keep up the good work, I'm a fan of your stuff, you bring life to these characters with your colorings, and Runaways is one of my favorite comics of the last few years.
Then, the comments section for column #81 is graced by Dwayne McDuffie, writer of the current Justice League of America and classics like Damage Control, saying: "Iron Man sported repellor rays first (check your Marvel Essentials), introducing repulsors shortly after unveiling his red and gold armor. Originally, the terms were used interchangeably. Eventually, repulsors referred to his primary offensive weapon, while the increasingly-rarely used repellors became just that, magnetic, metal repelling rays, reverse tractor beams, if you will. I don't remember the story, but I'm guessing Iron Man used the repellors to push some metal away, right?"
He signs "The Culprit", so I'm guessing he took it in good humor (same as CeeCee, I think, I can't stress enough how much respect I have for comic book creators). Thanks for leaving that comment Dwayne; I've never seen that referenced anywhere, but I'll take your word for it. I've been reading Avengers Classics (plus old Marvel comics for the past 20+ years), but I don't remember "repellors", nor can I find a reference anywhere in the intarwebz.
Again, I'll take your word for it, and retract. Hey, did you know you'd won (all in good humor, of course) one of the Autopsy Awards for last year? And that you accepted it wearing a Green Lantern costume?
Thanks for stopping by, and let me say that I've loved your Damage Control books, and I'm having fun reading your JLA run.
So, within one day, I get two creators to rebuke dissections, good! First, the lovely and talented Christina Strain, colorist for Runaways among other things, drops by the comments for column #81 and says: "Victor's eyes have always been green. People just seem to assume they're brown. And I'm positive about this because I picked the original color for them back when he was introduced into the series."
CeeCee (can I call you that?), thanks for stopping by; I'll bow to you on this (hell, you're such a good colorist, and such a beautiful woman, that I'd bow to you anyway!). I should have checked a comic boo
Publish Post
Once more, thanks for stopping by, and keep up the good work, I'm a fan of your stuff, you bring life to these characters with your colorings, and Runaways is one of my favorite comics of the last few years.
Then, the comments section for column #81 is graced by Dwayne McDuffie, writer of the current Justice League of America and classics like Damage Control, saying: "Iron Man sported repellor rays first (check your Marvel Essentials), introducing repulsors shortly after unveiling his red and gold armor. Originally, the terms were used interchangeably. Eventually, repulsors referred to his primary offensive weapon, while the increasingly-rarely used repellors became just that, magnetic, metal repelling rays, reverse tractor beams, if you will. I don't remember the story, but I'm guessing Iron Man used the repellors to push some metal away, right?"
He signs "The Culprit", so I'm guessing he took it in good humor (same as CeeCee, I think, I can't stress enough how much respect I have for comic book creators). Thanks for leaving that comment Dwayne; I've never seen that referenced anywhere, but I'll take your word for it. I've been reading Avengers Classics (plus old Marvel comics for the past 20+ years), but I don't remember "repellors", nor can I find a reference anywhere in the intarwebz.
Again, I'll take your word for it, and retract. Hey, did you know you'd won (all in good humor, of course) one of the Autopsy Awards for last year? And that you accepted it wearing a Green Lantern costume?
Thanks for stopping by, and let me say that I've loved your Damage Control books, and I'm having fun reading your JLA run.
The Dissector #81.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"J'onn J'onzz was my friend. (...) We'll all miss him. And pray for a resurrection." Superman, someone finally acknowledges that superheroes never truly die, Final Crisis #2.
Here we go again! Last column's DT! was guessed by Snakebyte, and he correctly said that Black Canary shouldn't be talking while using her canary cry. By the way, this column is for books released on 06/25, no older book this time. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week goes to Avengers: The Initiative #14, with a good Secret Invasion tie-in; while the Worst Book Of The Week was Number Of The Beast #6; a potentially good story that has just been drawn out for too long. Three or four issues would have been enough for this...
<-------------------------------->
"I'M A DISSECTION."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 79.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Right after posting column #80, I that in #79 realized I labeled Tom Orzechowski a "letter", not a "letterer".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER..."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 80.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: An anonymous poster over at ICS.net noticed I called Beast Boy "Cyborg".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU DARE COLOR DOOM INCORRECTLY!"
TITLE: Fantastic Four (Marvel).
ISSUE: 558.
CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist).
DISSECTION: Doctor Doom's eyes are colored green on the cover, when they should be brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IO NO PARLO ITALIANO."
TITLE: Huntress: Year One (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: Ivory Madison (writer).
DISSECTION: Most the Italian language in the book is incorrect; at least three counts. The worst one is a sign in a Venetian church, with a poorly constructed sentence.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AVENGE THIS DISSECTION!"
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 42.
CULPRIT: Justin Ponsor (colorist).
DISSECTION: What can you tell me about this one?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Should be easy.
<-------------------------------->
"REMEMBER WHEN WE THOUGHT VICTOR VON DOOM COULD BE HIS DAD?"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 03.
CULPRIT: Christina Strain (colorist).
DISSECTION: Victor Mancha's eyes are colored green, when they should be brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, he says "vamanos"; the Spanish word for "let's go" is "vamonos".
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT KID?"
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 677.
CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).
DISSECTION: Superman says that he has "Lois (...) and a dog" and that "gives him a complete life"... yeah, what about his disappeared foster son, or even his parents?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO, I THINK IT'S THE ZIGGURAT OF UR."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 60.
CULPRIT: Eddy Barrows (penciller).
DISSECTION: The Titans are transported by the Clock King to a place that seems Greco-Roman, and Robin claims it's the Parthenon. Problem is, it looks nothing like the Parthenon or any of the buildings in the Acropolis; a cylindrical, roofless structure that looks more like the Coliseum. Blue Beetle asks if they're in Rome; but well, that could be a mistake by Jaime... Robin wouldn't make that kind of mistake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, we get an average of 6.3 Bazzars in a total of eleven dissections... not bad, not bad. Moments Of The Week! First up, you won't like Banner when he is... hungry?
Sometimes a dog's bite is worse than his bark. Then, Hercules gets used and discarded:
"Zounds"?!??! Well, that's one month completed... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"J'onn J'onzz was my friend. (...) We'll all miss him. And pray for a resurrection." Superman, someone finally acknowledges that superheroes never truly die, Final Crisis #2.
Here we go again! Last column's DT! was guessed by Snakebyte, and he correctly said that Black Canary shouldn't be talking while using her canary cry. By the way, this column is for books released on 06/25, no older book this time. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week goes to Avengers: The Initiative #14, with a good Secret Invasion tie-in; while the Worst Book Of The Week was Number Of The Beast #6; a potentially good story that has just been drawn out for too long. Three or four issues would have been enough for this...
<-------------------------------->
"I'M A DISSECTION."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 79.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Right after posting column #80, I that in #79 realized I labeled Tom Orzechowski a "letter", not a "letterer".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER..."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 80.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: An anonymous poster over at ICS.net noticed I called Beast Boy "Cyborg".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU DARE COLOR DOOM INCORRECTLY!"
TITLE: Fantastic Four (Marvel).
ISSUE: 558.
CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist).
DISSECTION: Doctor Doom's eyes are colored green on the cover, when they should be brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IO NO PARLO ITALIANO."
TITLE: Huntress: Year One (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: Ivory Madison (writer).
DISSECTION: Most the Italian language in the book is incorrect; at least three counts. The worst one is a sign in a Venetian church, with a poorly constructed sentence.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AVENGE THIS DISSECTION!"
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 42.
CULPRIT: Justin Ponsor (colorist).
DISSECTION: What can you tell me about this one?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Should be easy.
<-------------------------------->
"REMEMBER WHEN WE THOUGHT VICTOR VON DOOM COULD BE HIS DAD?"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 03.
CULPRIT: Christina Strain (colorist).
DISSECTION: Victor Mancha's eyes are colored green, when they should be brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, he says "vamanos"; the Spanish word for "let's go" is "vamonos".
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT KID?"
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 677.
CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).
DISSECTION: Superman says that he has "Lois (...) and a dog" and that "gives him a complete life"... yeah, what about his disappeared foster son, or even his parents?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO, I THINK IT'S THE ZIGGURAT OF UR."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 60.
CULPRIT: Eddy Barrows (penciller).
DISSECTION: The Titans are transported by the Clock King to a place that seems Greco-Roman, and Robin claims it's the Parthenon. Problem is, it looks nothing like the Parthenon or any of the buildings in the Acropolis; a cylindrical, roofless structure that looks more like the Coliseum. Blue Beetle asks if they're in Rome; but well, that could be a mistake by Jaime... Robin wouldn't make that kind of mistake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, we get an average of 6.3 Bazzars in a total of eleven dissections... not bad, not bad. Moments Of The Week! First up, you won't like Banner when he is... hungry?
Sometimes a dog's bite is worse than his bark. Then, Hercules gets used and discarded:
"Zounds"?!??! Well, that's one month completed... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The Dissector #44.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Look! Up in the sky! It's... Actually, I don't know who that is!" Anonymous bystander, who doesn't recognize Wonder Girl in her new costume.
No more Nitpicker!!! So, here we are, in the first ever issue of The Dissector, which, nevertheless, is #44. Why? Because I hate unnecessary re-launches and new #1. I like history to show, mileage to be noticed, age to be worn as a badge of distinction. I accepted New Mutants V2, and when I learned to love it, BAM, they rename and renumber it to New X-Men: Academy X, which then gets renamed to just New X-Men. Then we have New Avengers, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive (they made that right again). Batman & The Outsiders, New Excalibur (that fiasco is over too), and I can go on.
Why did I change the name and look of the column? Well, like I said, Phil Farrand and his Nitpicker's Guild had the name first, and I don't want to usurp that. The look doesn't change, but it's enhanced. I keep my English green dominated color scheme, and add that beautiful logo by my dear friend Nysie, which has hints of Victorian mad science, just the way I like it.
We're approaching our second anniversary, because I'm not denying this column's past as the Nitpicker, as well as column #50. The first column was published on November 12, 2005, and on that date this year, I'll have a special column with my favorite nits... err... dissections! That'll be column #48, then #49 will be the regular column for that week; and on the following week, we'll have the 50th column, which will be in addition to that week's column (#51), and will feature the first EVER Autopsy Awards! Yes, I just came up with that...
Here's the deal: from my archives, I'll find out who are the most featured creators in the past two years of column, and award a first place and runner up in each category (writer, artist, colorist, etc). I might give an award for the company with most errors, and the book with most errors. Then I'll select between three and five dissections in each category, and put them to vote between you, my faithful readers (said in my best Stan Lee voice). And, even though they're more recent features, I can also have a best quote and best WTF/DAYAMN moment. What do you all think?
That said, I'm going to start now with this week's column, alright? Last week's Spot The Nit was nailed by Miss Kitty Fantastico; the Riddler's hair should indeed be black, not light brown. So, here's a HDSC badge for ya MKF! From now on, STN will be... no, not STD, I won't go there. It'll be called "Dissect This!", and will have the exact same mechanics as STN. Who's up for some Dissector Picks Of The Week?
My pick for best book of the week is Runaways V2 #28; because I really feel Whedon is growing into this book. Despite some mischaracterization issues with Molly (which I've mentioned before, and mention again later in this column), he seems to get most of the Runaways, particularly Chase and Karolina, who I see as Faith and Willow analogues (yes, I know Nico is the witch here). Plus, even though he can't technically play with the Pride, he still manages to use the kids’ families to give them some problems.
I also enjoy how he portrays the way mutants (or other superhumans) would organize themselves in the early 1900s. What's not to love about heroes with names as Engine, Nightstick, Daystick, Black Maria and Adjudicator (even though they're blatant homages to modern day characters, mostly)? The Engine is my favorite, being a differential engine, punch card spewing, steam-powered robot. That scores high in my book, and you know it.
And the villains? If the presence of the Yorkes (Gert's parents, but from a point in the Runaways' past where they're all still little kids and the Pride is alive) wasn't enough (they now know their daughter buys it in the future, and they'll do everything in their time-traveling hands to stop it), we now have the Witchbreaker, who turns out to be a Minoru! And then there's the Yorkes flunkies, from the strong guy whose name I can't remember, to Morphine (a mad doctor/chemist),. Kid Twist (an Irish mobster looking pistolero), and my favorite, Forget-Me-Not, a temptress with the power to release pheromones (apparently) that drive men wild, and who seems to live in a permanent state of orgasm.
And the art? Well, it's not my cup of tea, but it's flawless. It's not Michael Ryan's fault that I don't like it that much, his pencils are excellent, perfectly suited to this book. It's Christina Strain's colors, which makes the book look to manga for my taste... and yes, this has always been the case with Runaways. that doesn't stop me from thoroughly enjoying the book, and being glad now that it seems that Whedon has finally "clicked" with it.
So what's the worse book of the week then? Simply put, Fantastic Four #550 is a most disappointing end to an otherwise irrelevant and unoriginal plot that seems stolen from a bad Star Trek episode. Dwayne McDuffie's script is bland, and Paul Pelletier's art, while correct, does nothing for me, coupled with the fact that Paul Mounts' colors are bland and too bright. Let's get started with this week's dissections (and the first to be called thus):
<-------------------------------->
""ACME BRAND."
TITLE: Batman Confidential.
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Michael Green (writer) and/or Denys Cowan (penciller).
DISSECTION: I'm still frothing about this Joker origin story, but never mind. Still, I kind of doubt that a former chemical plant that manufactured legal drugs will have a giant vat labeled "anti-psychotics".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO NEEDS MAPS?""
TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer) and/or Nick J. Napolitano (letterer).
DISSECTION: On page 9, Talia Head is shown as being somewhere of the coast of "Gilbralter", which should be "Gibraltar".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DYE IS POPULAR IN THE DC UNIVERSE."
TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Nathan Eyring (colorist).
DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's hair is colored black on page 20, as is Vixen's, instead of Brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could be odd lighting, so I'll just count it as one.
<-------------------------------->
"HE BUILT HIS EMPIRE, DOOR TO DOOR."
TITLE: Booster Gold V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Jeff Katz (writers).
DISSECTION: Pages 6 and 7 state that Lionel Luthor (Lex's father) was a traveling salesman, when the current origin for Lex (Countdown #34, also available on DC's website) states that he was a "mogul". Now, I know this is an alternate reality, a possible timeline change that Rip is telling about, so that's why this gets a lower rating that it could.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE BRAVE AND THE BALD."
TITLE: Booster Gold V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).
DISSECTION: Again, alternate reality and all that, but Lex is shown as completely bald from his teenage years, when his current origin shows that he lost his hair over the course of the years, still having hair into his adulthood.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GOD, WHY?"
TITLE: Booster Gold V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).
DISSECTION: Same spread, Lionel Luthor Jr.'s grave (that is, Superman in this alternate timeline) reads "LUTHER".
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, this is on par of web forum posters writing "Luther", "Emporer", "Klenons" and "Rouge". I just considered using this as a Dissect This!, but it was too easy.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S MORE KUNG-FUEY THIS WAY."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).
DISSECTION: Karate kid is, for some reason, barefoot on the cover, when he wears boots as part of his costume.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ONE GIRL, MULTIPLE COSTUMES."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).
DISSECTION: Again the cover, Una has a different cape clasp and belt that her costume has had before.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLUE, PURPLE, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Thomas Chu (colorist).
DISSECTION: I still haven't opened the book, and there's more errors to be found. Una's costume is YET AGAIN colored blue instead of purple.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN, MUTABLE COLOR."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner's costume keeps shifting ever so slightly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOME CLONES GROW FASTER THAN OTHERS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen runs into the Newsboy Legion, but the character heights are wrong. By this time, the Newsboys should be teenagers (at least physically), some of them maybe into their late twenties. However, the "younger" members (Scrapper and Gabby, if I'm not mistaken, and where's Flip, by the way?) look like midgets when compared to the "older" members (Big Words and Tommy, if I'm right).
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HAIR ON!"
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Paul Pelletier (penciller).
DISSECTION: Johnny Storm's haircut is different than what it should be.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK OR BLUE?"
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist).
DISSECTION: I had discarded this one until the Guvnor Paul C also pointed it out, and I took a second look. On the first page of story, Ben and Johnny's costumes are blue, and afterwards, they're black, as they're supposed to be. I'm going to award the Guvnor a HDSC badge here.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it just might be a question of lighting.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I HAVE CONTIGENCY PLANS FOR GALACTUS, BUT AFTER HIM, MY COSMIC KNOWLEDGE IS ZERO."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: Black Panther doesn't know who Eternity is, which is kind of doubtful.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU DO KNOW SHE'S NOT A REAL GODDESS, RIGHT?"
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: In order to fix reality, Dr. Strange has to operate on Eternity, placing his essence in another being's essence as a method of life support. He says that only himself (Strange) and Storm have the strength of spirit to survive that. What? Where does this come from? I can see Strange being able to house Eternity’s essence at least for a little while, as cosmically trained as he is, but Storm? What? You don't think that maybe, uhm... the Silver Surfer (who's also there) could do it better than Storm? Please.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DIPLOMATIC MATTERS."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: At the end of the book, Sue Richards mentions that the Wakandan embassy in Washington, D.C. is available for T'Challa and Storm to live in... but again, as we've mentioned before, you can't have two embassies in the same country. An embassy and many consulates in the country's most important cities, yes, but not more than one embassy in the same country.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, Sue could be mistaken, and it's a consulate.
<-------------------------------->
"KOLCHAK, IS THAT YOU?"
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Chris Eliopoulos (letterer, if he lettered the cover).
DISSECTION: Thanks to the Guvnor for pointing this one out (another badge for him); the creatures that "guard time" or something like that, are called "Nightstalkers" on the cover, but "Nightwalkers" inside the book.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AUNT MAY IS BEYOND HOPE, WE GET IT."
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
DISSECTION: Spider-Man searches for options to cure May, and one of the people he visits is the X-Men's Beast, to no avail. Again, are you telling me that Elixir can't heal may? He's restored Wolfsbane powers and brought a teammate back from death after his heart had been ripped out, by making him grow a new heart. And he can't heal Aunt May? Bullshit.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I BEEN TOOK CARED OF THAT BIZZATCH!"
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).
DISSECTION: On MJ's profile, it says that she "took cared" of her cousin.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO CARES HOW IT'S SPELLED?"
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).
DISSECTION: The aforementioned cousin is called Kristie, then on the next line it's spelled Kristy. Yet another Guvnor spotted dissection, and yet another badge for the man.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's the next freaking line.
<-------------------------------->
"WARDROBE MALFUNCTION."
TITLE: Gene Simmons' Dominatrix.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Flavio Hoffe and/or Impacto Studios (artists)
DISSECTION: This one was spotted by Miss Kitty Fantastico, and I quote him "In issue #1 Dominique's outfit took some damage during the opening stage of her fight with lingerie ninja girl - the mask is torn beneath her right eye, and both gloves are looking a bit the worse for wear. At the start of #2 the damage to her mask has moved (albeit to her forehead, which is where she got kicked in #1), and it and the tears on her gloves vanish by page 4. Granted she just acquired superpowers from some pills, but I don't think costume repair is meant to be one of them. I'd call it a 6 - it doesn't ruin the issue or anything, but it could have easily been avoided."
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TIME AND TIME AGAIN."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).
DISSECTION: In what seems to be a retelling of their first encounter, Green Arrow mentions that he's a big fan of Black Canary's mother, but in her mini, only a few months ago, he said he thought she was her mother.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M WEARING MY SPARES."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).
DISSECTION: Black Canary's gloves and boots are not drawn correctly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M DRINKING TOO MUCH."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Trish Mulvihill (colorist).
DISSECTION: Speedy's eyes are blue, yet on page eleven they're mysteriously colored yellow.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I LIKE THIS OUTFIT BETTER, SO I IMAGINED MYSELF IN IT."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page 13 Black Canary remembers her wedding night, but the lingerie Chiang drew doesn't mach what she wore on the Wedding Special.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MULTIPLE FRONTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and/or Ivan Reis (penciller).
DISSECTION: The Justice League is shown battling Manhunters while Sinestro and his lanterns, along with Tom Welling Prime (I saw this denomination for him somewhere and loved it) are arriving on Earth. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are there, but they weren't in the Cyborg Superman special from the previous week, in fact, Superman was fighting the Cyborg.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CAN'T FLY!!!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer).
DISSECTION: Get ready, for this book is one big dissection. Let's start by the fact that Flash asks for Martian Manhunter's help to go up a few feet in the air, when he's been shown to use his speed to create whirlwinds to carry him up and stuff like that.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KEEP CHANGING MY COSTUME DESIGN AT SUPERSPEED TO ANNOY PEOPLE."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Flash (Wally West) is in this issue, and his lightning bolt keeps shifting, sometimes it's joined (pointing down to his crotch), sometimes it's not joined, at some points it loses the serrated edges. Look at this page below, Leonardi, can't you at least keep things consistent within the same page?
It keeps getting worse all through the issue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOW YOU SEE THEM, NOW YOU DON'T!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: God, look at the third panel from the above page, not only is Flash's belt missing, his glove lightnings are gone! Same on page 18!
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller) and I.L.L. (colorist).
DISSECTION: Damn, his mask covers his entire face! And the same on page 18!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT FLASH."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Whoa, his chest emblem is blank! And it's gone again on the next page! And on page 16! And on the statue on page 18! I'll quit it with the exclamation marks!
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KNOW HE'S A SHAPESHIFTER, BUT..."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: I'm done with Wally, but look at that panel again, what the hell is up with J'onn's right shoulder?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU KNOW, DYES AND THE DCU."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).
DISSECTION: Wally's hair is colored blond instead of red during the whole issue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARTIAN MEMORY IS SCREWY LIKE THAT."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer) and/or Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page 12, J'onn's brother talks about Starro and the re-formation of the Justice League, and shows Superman, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Orion fighting Starro. To my knowledge, and backed up by my research, Orion never faced Starro, but the Star Conqueror. Furthermore, Orion and Hal Jordan have never been members of the League at the same time.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST TIME! NOT REALLY...."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: See if you can Dissect This!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT HAWKMAN!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Same page, Hawkman's missing his chest emblem. Argh!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE ASKED HER TO WEAR THE FISHNETS THAT ONE TIME."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Page sixteen shows Black Canary in the Bwa-Ha-Ha League when it's first formed, and she's wearing her classic costume, when she wore her "dance outfit" during that period.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Eleven dissections on a single book. Wow.
<-------------------------------->
"DA-DA-DA DE-DE-DE."
TITLE: Runaways V2.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Joss Whedon (writer).
DISSECTION: *Sigh* I already ranted on this before, and on this same column: Joss Whedon is a good writer, and he's getting the hang of Runaways... except for Molly. Joss, she's supposed to be around 12, not five, she shouldn't be saying things as "extra-trestal". Although, with kids being how they are these days, I'll buy that she thinks that "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is a song from around 1907.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HALF A QUESTION MASK."
TITLE: Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: The Gorn.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: David Messina (artist).
DISSECTION: Are these Star Trek books going to be remembered as "Star Trek: Comic Books: Overuse Of: Colons: To The Infinite: Overdrive?" But I digress, this was a good first Alien Spotlight, even though there's not much to the gorn to spot a light on. They're just reptilian Klingons. The art is acceptable, if not to my liking, although it suffers from the same ailment that all IDW Star Trek comics are suffering: poorly detailed art. The worst case is this panel, and look at Chekov:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, dammit, where the hell are his eyes?
<-------------------------------->
"GEE, IF ONLY WE HAD A SPACE COP IN THE TEAM!"
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).
DISSECTION: Superman captures some Dominators experimenting on humans, and then damages their ship, leaving them with enough power for-life support. He sets them adrift in space, saying that "the Justice League will contact the appropriate interstellar authorities". Or, you could just, you know, call a Green Lantern yourself, couldn't you Clark?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU SURE TRAIN THEM WELL, RIGHT BATMAN?"
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).
DISSECTION: Superman and Chris Kent (God, I don't know if I like that name, or if I find it too cheesy) fly into the Batcave, and since the biometric sensors of the place don't have the youngest Kryptonian registered yet, the alarm goes off. Apart from the fact that I don't think Bats would set an alarm to go "BLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANG", Robin goes "AAHH! THE PERIMETER ALARM!" This is Robin, Mr. Busiek, he wouldn't scream like an old lady, he'd be on his feet and ready to defend the cave against intruders.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERMAN AND HIS DOLL SON."
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Look at this panel below. Rick, haven't we talked about details?
Superman has no nose, his eyes are dark pits, and Chris looks like a freaking blow-up doll!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS A DISSECION."
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer) and/or Comicraft (letterer).
DISSECTION: On the final panel of page seventeen, Superman says "stating" instead of "starting".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE STREET CLOTHES, FOR ZEUS SAKE!"
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).
DISSECTION: Good book so far, I'm sure Miss Kitty Fantastico would like it. But the dissection her is that Cassie's outfit gets trashed, and she decides to wear the costume (battle armor) that Hercules gave her, as if she didn't go through a dozen costumes a month while battling evil, and doesn't any left. I don't buy it much. I do agree with Hercules that she needed a new costume that wasn't just jeans and a tank top.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE GODS STOLE HER FACE!"
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Sanford Greene (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page 18, Cassie is lacking a face in the first panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, people please DRAW FACES!
<-------------------------------->
"AND THIS IS A DISSECTOIN."
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).
DISSECTION: Hercules says "sheild" instead of "shield" on page 19.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE'S JUST A MERE MORTAL."
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).
DISSECTION: Cassandra says on page 20 "My family is the Teen Titans! My family are Diana and Donna!" Uhm... what about your mom, Cassie?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TWINDOW TWINDOW (NOT-SO) LITTLE STARS."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller) and Alex Sinclair (colorist).
DISSECTION: This one is a leftover from a few weeks ago. Ending spread of the main story, pages 24-25, Power Girl's costume is wrong, she has cleavage up from her neck, while her costume is closed on the top of her torso, with a twindow (you figure that one out) that allows you to see the, uhm... goods. After a lenghty discussion with Miss Kitty Fantastico (see here, I've agreed that it's also Sinclair's fault for not coloring it as he should.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M JUST ANOTHER STRIPPER, THE REAL VIXEN IS BUSY."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Julian Lopez (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page seventeen, Vixen's costume is wrong, she's not even wearing the Tantu Totem.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, DYES ARE ALSO POPULAR IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE TOO."
TITLE: X-Men: Die By The Sword.
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Rob Ro (colorist).
DISSECTION: So, did we really need a separate mini for an Excalibur / Exiles crossover? We couldn't do it inside one of those books? Well, I guess Exiles is already busy with... whatever the hell Claremont is doing with the book, and New Excalibur just got cancelled. Plus, why do it in a low profile book like Excalibur and Exiles, which only have an "x" as the second letter in their titles (well, fifth in New Excalibur), when you can have a mini that has "X-Men" as part of the title? Who cares if only half of the characters are actually X-Men, and then many of them are from alternate Earths?
Anyway, as unfulfilling as this first issue was, Claremont didn't make any errors this time. However, even if Juan Santacruz manages to make Psylocke look Asian, Ro colors her hair black, not purple, as her hair usually is dyed.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Wow, that was a long column, with 50 dissections, and a (un)healthy rating of 6.2 Bazzars. Seeing as to how this was a long column, I'll go straight to the DAYAMN! moment of the week. It comes from Green Lantern V4 #24, and while it was a good issue, it didn't make pick of the week for best book. However, it did get best moment of the week, in a sequence that made me very happy.
Hal Jordan, John Stewart and Guy Gardner free Kyle Rayner from Parallax, and the Guardians Sayd and Ganthet imprison the creature inside the earthmen's power batteries (Guy's has a Michigan State sticker!). Kyle takes back his ring, and they all recite their oath together... I was so moved, that I recited the oath out loud along with them. Take a look:
Damn cool indeed. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Look! Up in the sky! It's... Actually, I don't know who that is!" Anonymous bystander, who doesn't recognize Wonder Girl in her new costume.
No more Nitpicker!!! So, here we are, in the first ever issue of The Dissector, which, nevertheless, is #44. Why? Because I hate unnecessary re-launches and new #1. I like history to show, mileage to be noticed, age to be worn as a badge of distinction. I accepted New Mutants V2, and when I learned to love it, BAM, they rename and renumber it to New X-Men: Academy X, which then gets renamed to just New X-Men. Then we have New Avengers, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive (they made that right again). Batman & The Outsiders, New Excalibur (that fiasco is over too), and I can go on.
Why did I change the name and look of the column? Well, like I said, Phil Farrand and his Nitpicker's Guild had the name first, and I don't want to usurp that. The look doesn't change, but it's enhanced. I keep my English green dominated color scheme, and add that beautiful logo by my dear friend Nysie, which has hints of Victorian mad science, just the way I like it.
We're approaching our second anniversary, because I'm not denying this column's past as the Nitpicker, as well as column #50. The first column was published on November 12, 2005, and on that date this year, I'll have a special column with my favorite nits... err... dissections! That'll be column #48, then #49 will be the regular column for that week; and on the following week, we'll have the 50th column, which will be in addition to that week's column (#51), and will feature the first EVER Autopsy Awards! Yes, I just came up with that...
Here's the deal: from my archives, I'll find out who are the most featured creators in the past two years of column, and award a first place and runner up in each category (writer, artist, colorist, etc). I might give an award for the company with most errors, and the book with most errors. Then I'll select between three and five dissections in each category, and put them to vote between you, my faithful readers (said in my best Stan Lee voice). And, even though they're more recent features, I can also have a best quote and best WTF/DAYAMN moment. What do you all think?
That said, I'm going to start now with this week's column, alright? Last week's Spot The Nit was nailed by Miss Kitty Fantastico; the Riddler's hair should indeed be black, not light brown. So, here's a HDSC badge for ya MKF! From now on, STN will be... no, not STD, I won't go there. It'll be called "Dissect This!", and will have the exact same mechanics as STN. Who's up for some Dissector Picks Of The Week?
My pick for best book of the week is Runaways V2 #28; because I really feel Whedon is growing into this book. Despite some mischaracterization issues with Molly (which I've mentioned before, and mention again later in this column), he seems to get most of the Runaways, particularly Chase and Karolina, who I see as Faith and Willow analogues (yes, I know Nico is the witch here). Plus, even though he can't technically play with the Pride, he still manages to use the kids’ families to give them some problems.
I also enjoy how he portrays the way mutants (or other superhumans) would organize themselves in the early 1900s. What's not to love about heroes with names as Engine, Nightstick, Daystick, Black Maria and Adjudicator (even though they're blatant homages to modern day characters, mostly)? The Engine is my favorite, being a differential engine, punch card spewing, steam-powered robot. That scores high in my book, and you know it.
And the villains? If the presence of the Yorkes (Gert's parents, but from a point in the Runaways' past where they're all still little kids and the Pride is alive) wasn't enough (they now know their daughter buys it in the future, and they'll do everything in their time-traveling hands to stop it), we now have the Witchbreaker, who turns out to be a Minoru! And then there's the Yorkes flunkies, from the strong guy whose name I can't remember, to Morphine (a mad doctor/chemist),. Kid Twist (an Irish mobster looking pistolero), and my favorite, Forget-Me-Not, a temptress with the power to release pheromones (apparently) that drive men wild, and who seems to live in a permanent state of orgasm.
And the art? Well, it's not my cup of tea, but it's flawless. It's not Michael Ryan's fault that I don't like it that much, his pencils are excellent, perfectly suited to this book. It's Christina Strain's colors, which makes the book look to manga for my taste... and yes, this has always been the case with Runaways. that doesn't stop me from thoroughly enjoying the book, and being glad now that it seems that Whedon has finally "clicked" with it.
So what's the worse book of the week then? Simply put, Fantastic Four #550 is a most disappointing end to an otherwise irrelevant and unoriginal plot that seems stolen from a bad Star Trek episode. Dwayne McDuffie's script is bland, and Paul Pelletier's art, while correct, does nothing for me, coupled with the fact that Paul Mounts' colors are bland and too bright. Let's get started with this week's dissections (and the first to be called thus):
<-------------------------------->
""ACME BRAND."
TITLE: Batman Confidential.
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Michael Green (writer) and/or Denys Cowan (penciller).
DISSECTION: I'm still frothing about this Joker origin story, but never mind. Still, I kind of doubt that a former chemical plant that manufactured legal drugs will have a giant vat labeled "anti-psychotics".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO NEEDS MAPS?""
TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer) and/or Nick J. Napolitano (letterer).
DISSECTION: On page 9, Talia Head is shown as being somewhere of the coast of "Gilbralter", which should be "Gibraltar".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DYE IS POPULAR IN THE DC UNIVERSE."
TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Nathan Eyring (colorist).
DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's hair is colored black on page 20, as is Vixen's, instead of Brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could be odd lighting, so I'll just count it as one.
<-------------------------------->
"HE BUILT HIS EMPIRE, DOOR TO DOOR."
TITLE: Booster Gold V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Jeff Katz (writers).
DISSECTION: Pages 6 and 7 state that Lionel Luthor (Lex's father) was a traveling salesman, when the current origin for Lex (Countdown #34, also available on DC's website) states that he was a "mogul". Now, I know this is an alternate reality, a possible timeline change that Rip is telling about, so that's why this gets a lower rating that it could.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE BRAVE AND THE BALD."
TITLE: Booster Gold V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).
DISSECTION: Again, alternate reality and all that, but Lex is shown as completely bald from his teenage years, when his current origin shows that he lost his hair over the course of the years, still having hair into his adulthood.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GOD, WHY?"
TITLE: Booster Gold V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).
DISSECTION: Same spread, Lionel Luthor Jr.'s grave (that is, Superman in this alternate timeline) reads "LUTHER".
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, this is on par of web forum posters writing "Luther", "Emporer", "Klenons" and "Rouge". I just considered using this as a Dissect This!, but it was too easy.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S MORE KUNG-FUEY THIS WAY."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).
DISSECTION: Karate kid is, for some reason, barefoot on the cover, when he wears boots as part of his costume.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ONE GIRL, MULTIPLE COSTUMES."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).
DISSECTION: Again the cover, Una has a different cape clasp and belt that her costume has had before.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLUE, PURPLE, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Thomas Chu (colorist).
DISSECTION: I still haven't opened the book, and there's more errors to be found. Una's costume is YET AGAIN colored blue instead of purple.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN, MUTABLE COLOR."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner's costume keeps shifting ever so slightly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOME CLONES GROW FASTER THAN OTHERS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen runs into the Newsboy Legion, but the character heights are wrong. By this time, the Newsboys should be teenagers (at least physically), some of them maybe into their late twenties. However, the "younger" members (Scrapper and Gabby, if I'm not mistaken, and where's Flip, by the way?) look like midgets when compared to the "older" members (Big Words and Tommy, if I'm right).
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HAIR ON!"
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Paul Pelletier (penciller).
DISSECTION: Johnny Storm's haircut is different than what it should be.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK OR BLUE?"
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist).
DISSECTION: I had discarded this one until the Guvnor Paul C also pointed it out, and I took a second look. On the first page of story, Ben and Johnny's costumes are blue, and afterwards, they're black, as they're supposed to be. I'm going to award the Guvnor a HDSC badge here.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it just might be a question of lighting.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I HAVE CONTIGENCY PLANS FOR GALACTUS, BUT AFTER HIM, MY COSMIC KNOWLEDGE IS ZERO."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: Black Panther doesn't know who Eternity is, which is kind of doubtful.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU DO KNOW SHE'S NOT A REAL GODDESS, RIGHT?"
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: In order to fix reality, Dr. Strange has to operate on Eternity, placing his essence in another being's essence as a method of life support. He says that only himself (Strange) and Storm have the strength of spirit to survive that. What? Where does this come from? I can see Strange being able to house Eternity’s essence at least for a little while, as cosmically trained as he is, but Storm? What? You don't think that maybe, uhm... the Silver Surfer (who's also there) could do it better than Storm? Please.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DIPLOMATIC MATTERS."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 550.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: At the end of the book, Sue Richards mentions that the Wakandan embassy in Washington, D.C. is available for T'Challa and Storm to live in... but again, as we've mentioned before, you can't have two embassies in the same country. An embassy and many consulates in the country's most important cities, yes, but not more than one embassy in the same country.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, Sue could be mistaken, and it's a consulate.
<-------------------------------->
"KOLCHAK, IS THAT YOU?"
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Chris Eliopoulos (letterer, if he lettered the cover).
DISSECTION: Thanks to the Guvnor for pointing this one out (another badge for him); the creatures that "guard time" or something like that, are called "Nightstalkers" on the cover, but "Nightwalkers" inside the book.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AUNT MAY IS BEYOND HOPE, WE GET IT."
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
DISSECTION: Spider-Man searches for options to cure May, and one of the people he visits is the X-Men's Beast, to no avail. Again, are you telling me that Elixir can't heal may? He's restored Wolfsbane powers and brought a teammate back from death after his heart had been ripped out, by making him grow a new heart. And he can't heal Aunt May? Bullshit.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I BEEN TOOK CARED OF THAT BIZZATCH!"
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).
DISSECTION: On MJ's profile, it says that she "took cared" of her cousin.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO CARES HOW IT'S SPELLED?"
TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).
DISSECTION: The aforementioned cousin is called Kristie, then on the next line it's spelled Kristy. Yet another Guvnor spotted dissection, and yet another badge for the man.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's the next freaking line.
<-------------------------------->
"WARDROBE MALFUNCTION."
TITLE: Gene Simmons' Dominatrix.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Flavio Hoffe and/or Impacto Studios (artists)
DISSECTION: This one was spotted by Miss Kitty Fantastico, and I quote him "In issue #1 Dominique's outfit took some damage during the opening stage of her fight with lingerie ninja girl - the mask is torn beneath her right eye, and both gloves are looking a bit the worse for wear. At the start of #2 the damage to her mask has moved (albeit to her forehead, which is where she got kicked in #1), and it and the tears on her gloves vanish by page 4. Granted she just acquired superpowers from some pills, but I don't think costume repair is meant to be one of them. I'd call it a 6 - it doesn't ruin the issue or anything, but it could have easily been avoided."
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TIME AND TIME AGAIN."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).
DISSECTION: In what seems to be a retelling of their first encounter, Green Arrow mentions that he's a big fan of Black Canary's mother, but in her mini, only a few months ago, he said he thought she was her mother.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M WEARING MY SPARES."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).
DISSECTION: Black Canary's gloves and boots are not drawn correctly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M DRINKING TOO MUCH."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Trish Mulvihill (colorist).
DISSECTION: Speedy's eyes are blue, yet on page eleven they're mysteriously colored yellow.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I LIKE THIS OUTFIT BETTER, SO I IMAGINED MYSELF IN IT."
TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page 13 Black Canary remembers her wedding night, but the lingerie Chiang drew doesn't mach what she wore on the Wedding Special.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MULTIPLE FRONTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and/or Ivan Reis (penciller).
DISSECTION: The Justice League is shown battling Manhunters while Sinestro and his lanterns, along with Tom Welling Prime (I saw this denomination for him somewhere and loved it) are arriving on Earth. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are there, but they weren't in the Cyborg Superman special from the previous week, in fact, Superman was fighting the Cyborg.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CAN'T FLY!!!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer).
DISSECTION: Get ready, for this book is one big dissection. Let's start by the fact that Flash asks for Martian Manhunter's help to go up a few feet in the air, when he's been shown to use his speed to create whirlwinds to carry him up and stuff like that.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KEEP CHANGING MY COSTUME DESIGN AT SUPERSPEED TO ANNOY PEOPLE."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Flash (Wally West) is in this issue, and his lightning bolt keeps shifting, sometimes it's joined (pointing down to his crotch), sometimes it's not joined, at some points it loses the serrated edges. Look at this page below, Leonardi, can't you at least keep things consistent within the same page?
It keeps getting worse all through the issue.DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOW YOU SEE THEM, NOW YOU DON'T!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: God, look at the third panel from the above page, not only is Flash's belt missing, his glove lightnings are gone! Same on page 18!
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller) and I.L.L. (colorist).
DISSECTION: Damn, his mask covers his entire face! And the same on page 18!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT FLASH."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Whoa, his chest emblem is blank! And it's gone again on the next page! And on page 16! And on the statue on page 18! I'll quit it with the exclamation marks!
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KNOW HE'S A SHAPESHIFTER, BUT..."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: I'm done with Wally, but look at that panel again, what the hell is up with J'onn's right shoulder?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU KNOW, DYES AND THE DCU."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).
DISSECTION: Wally's hair is colored blond instead of red during the whole issue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARTIAN MEMORY IS SCREWY LIKE THAT."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer) and/or Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page 12, J'onn's brother talks about Starro and the re-formation of the Justice League, and shows Superman, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Orion fighting Starro. To my knowledge, and backed up by my research, Orion never faced Starro, but the Star Conqueror. Furthermore, Orion and Hal Jordan have never been members of the League at the same time.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST TIME! NOT REALLY...."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: See if you can Dissect This!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT HAWKMAN!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Same page, Hawkman's missing his chest emblem. Argh!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE ASKED HER TO WEAR THE FISHNETS THAT ONE TIME."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Page sixteen shows Black Canary in the Bwa-Ha-Ha League when it's first formed, and she's wearing her classic costume, when she wore her "dance outfit" during that period.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Eleven dissections on a single book. Wow.
<-------------------------------->
"DA-DA-DA DE-DE-DE."
TITLE: Runaways V2.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Joss Whedon (writer).
DISSECTION: *Sigh* I already ranted on this before, and on this same column: Joss Whedon is a good writer, and he's getting the hang of Runaways... except for Molly. Joss, she's supposed to be around 12, not five, she shouldn't be saying things as "extra-trestal". Although, with kids being how they are these days, I'll buy that she thinks that "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is a song from around 1907.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HALF A QUESTION MASK."
TITLE: Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: The Gorn.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: David Messina (artist).
DISSECTION: Are these Star Trek books going to be remembered as "Star Trek: Comic Books: Overuse Of: Colons: To The Infinite: Overdrive?" But I digress, this was a good first Alien Spotlight, even though there's not much to the gorn to spot a light on. They're just reptilian Klingons. The art is acceptable, if not to my liking, although it suffers from the same ailment that all IDW Star Trek comics are suffering: poorly detailed art. The worst case is this panel, and look at Chekov:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, dammit, where the hell are his eyes?
<-------------------------------->
"GEE, IF ONLY WE HAD A SPACE COP IN THE TEAM!"
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).
DISSECTION: Superman captures some Dominators experimenting on humans, and then damages their ship, leaving them with enough power for-life support. He sets them adrift in space, saying that "the Justice League will contact the appropriate interstellar authorities". Or, you could just, you know, call a Green Lantern yourself, couldn't you Clark?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU SURE TRAIN THEM WELL, RIGHT BATMAN?"
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).
DISSECTION: Superman and Chris Kent (God, I don't know if I like that name, or if I find it too cheesy) fly into the Batcave, and since the biometric sensors of the place don't have the youngest Kryptonian registered yet, the alarm goes off. Apart from the fact that I don't think Bats would set an alarm to go "BLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANG", Robin goes "AAHH! THE PERIMETER ALARM!" This is Robin, Mr. Busiek, he wouldn't scream like an old lady, he'd be on his feet and ready to defend the cave against intruders.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERMAN AND HIS DOLL SON."
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Look at this panel below. Rick, haven't we talked about details?
Superman has no nose, his eyes are dark pits, and Chris looks like a freaking blow-up doll!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS A DISSECION."
TITLE: Superman.
ISSUE: 668.
CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer) and/or Comicraft (letterer).
DISSECTION: On the final panel of page seventeen, Superman says "stating" instead of "starting".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE STREET CLOTHES, FOR ZEUS SAKE!"
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).
DISSECTION: Good book so far, I'm sure Miss Kitty Fantastico would like it. But the dissection her is that Cassie's outfit gets trashed, and she decides to wear the costume (battle armor) that Hercules gave her, as if she didn't go through a dozen costumes a month while battling evil, and doesn't any left. I don't buy it much. I do agree with Hercules that she needed a new costume that wasn't just jeans and a tank top.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE GODS STOLE HER FACE!"
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Sanford Greene (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page 18, Cassie is lacking a face in the first panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, people please DRAW FACES!
<-------------------------------->
"AND THIS IS A DISSECTOIN."
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).
DISSECTION: Hercules says "sheild" instead of "shield" on page 19.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE'S JUST A MERE MORTAL."
TITLE: Wonder Girl.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).
DISSECTION: Cassandra says on page 20 "My family is the Teen Titans! My family are Diana and Donna!" Uhm... what about your mom, Cassie?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TWINDOW TWINDOW (NOT-SO) LITTLE STARS."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller) and Alex Sinclair (colorist).
DISSECTION: This one is a leftover from a few weeks ago. Ending spread of the main story, pages 24-25, Power Girl's costume is wrong, she has cleavage up from her neck, while her costume is closed on the top of her torso, with a twindow (you figure that one out) that allows you to see the, uhm... goods. After a lenghty discussion with Miss Kitty Fantastico (see here, I've agreed that it's also Sinclair's fault for not coloring it as he should.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M JUST ANOTHER STRIPPER, THE REAL VIXEN IS BUSY."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Julian Lopez (penciller).
DISSECTION: On page seventeen, Vixen's costume is wrong, she's not even wearing the Tantu Totem.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, DYES ARE ALSO POPULAR IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE TOO."
TITLE: X-Men: Die By The Sword.
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Rob Ro (colorist).
DISSECTION: So, did we really need a separate mini for an Excalibur / Exiles crossover? We couldn't do it inside one of those books? Well, I guess Exiles is already busy with... whatever the hell Claremont is doing with the book, and New Excalibur just got cancelled. Plus, why do it in a low profile book like Excalibur and Exiles, which only have an "x" as the second letter in their titles (well, fifth in New Excalibur), when you can have a mini that has "X-Men" as part of the title? Who cares if only half of the characters are actually X-Men, and then many of them are from alternate Earths?
Anyway, as unfulfilling as this first issue was, Claremont didn't make any errors this time. However, even if Juan Santacruz manages to make Psylocke look Asian, Ro colors her hair black, not purple, as her hair usually is dyed.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Wow, that was a long column, with 50 dissections, and a (un)healthy rating of 6.2 Bazzars. Seeing as to how this was a long column, I'll go straight to the DAYAMN! moment of the week. It comes from Green Lantern V4 #24, and while it was a good issue, it didn't make pick of the week for best book. However, it did get best moment of the week, in a sequence that made me very happy.
Hal Jordan, John Stewart and Guy Gardner free Kyle Rayner from Parallax, and the Guardians Sayd and Ganthet imprison the creature inside the earthmen's power batteries (Guy's has a Michigan State sticker!). Kyle takes back his ring, and they all recite their oath together... I was so moved, that I recited the oath out loud along with them. Take a look:
Damn cool indeed. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...THE DISSECTOR!
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