DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Jason's problem is his insecurity-- he's the Jan Brady of the Bat-family. (and yes, I know that makes me Cindy)" Tim Drake, about Jason Todd, Robin V2 #177.
With that sense of humor, you can't ever be Batman, Timmy Drake.... Welcome to the column about comics released on 08/20, and I'd like to apologize to Snakebyte for forgetting to credit him last week for spotting the fact that I had written "July" instead of "August". Speaking of Snakebyte, he also got the DT! from last column immediately; the Xavier mansion looked nothing like it should. So that's two badges for him; three more and he makes Captain!
Now, as for The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was than geekgasmic first issue of Final Crisis: Legion Of Three Worlds; with a great plot by Geoff Johns, and good (if a little too classic for some people's tastes) art by George Perez. And it can only get better! Worst Book Of The Week was this August's installment of Rann/Thanagar Holy War, #4, it's just sleep-inducing.
Before moving on to the body of the column, I'd like to take a moment to apologize (partly, I also want to explain myself) to Christina Strain. If you're a reader of my column, you'll know that some time ago she corrected me about a character's eye colors, and I happily retracted. She took it well, and I was grateful for that; I know that sometimes it's hard to understand that I mean no offense and that The Dissector is an alter-ego, not the actual MaGnUs (or Martín A. Pérez, if you insist on legal names). However, last column I pointed out something regarding the same character and the same book, and this time it was an actual error, and unfortunately, Christina took offense at it. I partially quote from her post: "Aren't you the adorable nerd. (...) Thanks for being that guy. Cause really we need more of you in comics."
Whoa; Christina, I'm really sorry that you feel that way (although thanks for checking out my column); it's not my intention to insult you, in fact, I urge you to read the disclaimer linked at the top of each of my columns. Please allow me to reinforce two concepts from my disclaimer: 1) That I have absolute respect for the work creators and editors do (in fact, Runaways is one of my favorite books since it came out, and that's in part thanks to your work), and 2) That the column is written partially in character, and that it's not fair that I take full heat for what The Dissector says, the same way, say, Brian K. Vaughan can't be accused of human sacrifice just because The Pride did so in the original Runaways book. I know it's a bit harder to see in my case, since my column is written by a "semi-fictitious persona"; but again, I assure you that I hold nothing but appreciation, respect, and in many cases, admiration for the people who make the comics I read.
Then I found this post in her own blog, and I could get better insight as to how she feels. Again, that I'm sorry I made her feel that way; I'm not in this to offend creators, in fact, I like Strain's work A LOT. My column is not a review column; if I was to review a book of yours, the colors would get compliments, because I think you're one of the best colorists out there these days, or even the occasional constructive criticism... but that's not what The Dissector is.
On the other hand, Christina, if being mentioned in my column offends you, or bothers you, or whatnot, just say the word, and I won't ever mention any mistakes you made (or I think you made) again. EVER. Thanks for the work you do, the only reason I notice any mistakes you make (or I think you make), is because I'm paying attention to the colorist's work, because I care about all aspects of a comic. My apologies if I offended you, and thank you for reading.
And now, the meat and potatoes of this column, the dissections:
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"SPACE ODDITY."
TITLE: Anna Mercury (Avatar).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).
DISSECTION: Dominik spotted this one; whenever Mercury speaks to her "ground control", she says "Mercury. Launchpad.", and then whatever her message is, when it should be the other way around; military (or related) radio communications are started by first stating who you are addressing and then who you are.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"YOU REALLY HAVEN'T GOT THE SLIGHTEST INK-LING OF WHO I AM, DO YOU?""
TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Ryan Benjamin (penciller).
DISSECTION: Grace is, once more, missing her midriff tattoos.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"IT'S CHLOE BERRY TIME!"
TITLE: Comic Book Comics (Evil Twin Comics).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer) and/or unnamed letterer.
DISSECTION: This book actually came out earlier than August 20, but I just got my hands on it and the second issue. Great look at comics' history; in the same vein than Action Philosophers (from the same team). I found just one dissection; the first Blue Beetle utters "It's Guiliani time!"; spelling Rudolph Giuliani's last name incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"WONDERBREAD."
TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer) and/or John J. Hill (letterer).
DISSECTION: Again, "Wondergirl" instead of "Wonder Girl".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"I WISH IT WOULD END SOONER."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 82.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I just noticed that in that column I said that Rann/Thanagar Holy War had four issues, when it's eight issues long.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"LEGION OF... FOUR WORLDS?"
TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of Three Worlds (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Brainiac 5's eyes are colored purple; when they should be green, as they have been in Pre-Zero Hour, Post-Zero Hour, and Threeboot. LSH cartoon Brainy has purple eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Not only that, but he colors other eyes incorrectly, including one character (not a Durlan) who changes eye colors between panels. Also, Geoff Johns again decides not to list Superman's invulnerability as one of his powers.
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"EYE CAN'T SEE!"
TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 243.
CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).
DISSECTION: For some reason Jai West's eyes disappear from his mask between panels. You either wear a mask that lets your eyes be seen, or you wear one that covers them.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, they could be reflective lenses. Wait, no, his eyelashes come out of them, so no, not lenses. 5 Bazzars.
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"TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: After a battle with Amazo trashes the Hall Of Justice (located in Washington, DC), Batman mentions that there's lot of work to be done: "State and federal paperwork (...)" However, as Bats should know, the District of Columbia is not a part of any state, and therefore, cannot be subject to any kind of state paperwork whatsoever.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"DISSECT THIS LEAGUE."
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Allan Goldman (penciller).
DISSECTION: Come on, this one's easy:
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"IO SONO MEXICANO!"
TITLE: The Punisher V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 61.
CULPRIT: Gregg Hurwitz (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Gregg, the Mexican sweet bread is called "pan dulce", "dolce" is an Italian word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's a few tilde and accented letter sizes issues, as in Zorro.
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"AROUND THE GALAXY WEARING SOCKS."
TITLE: Rann/Thanagar Holy War (DC).
ISSUE: 04 of 08.
CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller) and/or John Kalisz (colorist).
DISSECTION: Once more, Animal Man's not wearing his boots.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"SOMETHING ONE."
TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 51.
CULPRIT: Michael Green & Mike Johnson (writers).
DISSECTION: Alright, so it doesn't suck as much the previous issue, still, there's a couple of art dissections, and on top of that, the writers watched Independence Day and thinks that the Air Force One can be called "Eagle One". Nope. Any aircraft carrying the President Of The United States Of America (officially, I doubt an al-Qaeda plane that kidnaps him would qualify) immediately adopts the callsign "Air Force One".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T TALKING TO ME!"
TITLE: Universal War One (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Unnamed letterer.
DISSECTION: The Admiral is talking to his daughter, and one of his speech balloons is attached to her, which is funny because he actually says "and you're not talking to me" or something to that effect.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"I KNOW STUFF, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL GREEK MYTHOLOGY NAMES."
TITLE: X-Factor Special: Layla Miller (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Peter David (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Cyclops is called "Cylcops" in one panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, the "ö" in Martin Niemöller's name is smaller than the rest of the letters.
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Well, this time around we have twenty-five dissections, with an average of 6.3 Bazzars... I thought it was going to be higher. Let's go with the Moments Of The Week, Black Canary versus Amazo sounds hopeless for her, doesn't it? Think again:
Sonic scream versus super hearing? Ouch! Then, another Black Canary moment:
Batman: pwnd! Still in the DC Universe, the high school I would have loved to attend:
Nerd paradise! Over to Marvel, and some decades into the future:
It's the Summers Rebellion, at last! Next, what Kirby did when he wasn't drawing in the 50s:
Hahahah... I can't help but laughing at those panels. Then, back to DC, and even further into the future, Lighting Lad tells the politicians off:
Well said, LL! And finally, still with the Legion, RJ Brande is killed and the three founding legionnaires can do nothing to prevent it. A dark mirror image of what brought them together in the first place:
Damn... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
1 comment:
DT! has already been solved.
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