DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"She was like John Rambo meets Polly Pocket." Kick-Ass, about Hit-Girl, Kick-Ass #4.
Welcome to a new column; last one for the month of August; about comics released on 08/27. First of all, another badge for Dominik; he spotted the DT!, Vixen was indeed not wearing her Tantu Totem. Two more badges and you make Commander, Dominik.
In case you're wondering, here are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week; Best Book Of The Week was New Avengers #44; I like what Bendis is doing with his two Avengers books, giving us more insight into the build up of the Secret Invasion. Worst Book Of The Week was Teen Titans: Year One #6; what started as a possibly good mini evolved into a boring read.
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"PLEASE, HELP US, THE FLASH!"
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).
DISSECTION: Again la Dama is addressed as "La Dama". You don't call the Batman "The Batman" to his face, or at least you don't say "The Batman, we need to talk."
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"IT'S A KIND MGIC."
TITLE: Cisplatino Visiones (Apocalipta)
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Unnamed letterer.
DISSECTION: First time we have a Uruguayan comic in this column! In one of the short stories ("Convergencia En Los Andes"; "Convergency In The Andes"); the word "mitológicamente" ("mythologically") is written "mitólogicmente".
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"IT WAS COLD."
TITLE: DC Universe: Last Will And Testament (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Adam Kubert (penciller).
DISSECTION: Wonder Girl's costume (Donna Troy's) in a flashback is shown as having sleeves, when it didn't.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Hal Jordan's costume shouldn't have the "trunks" any longer.
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"VOLUMES OF DISSECTION."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 89.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Snakebyte correctly points out that Punisher is V7, not V5. Badge for him, and he's only two badges away from Captain.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"HAS HE DISOWNED THEM?"
TITLE: Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Again, the West kids call Jay Garrick "Mr. Garrick", instead of "Uncle Jay".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, Mirror Master's accent is wrong.
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"GROSSES RAO!"
TITLE: Final Crisis: Superman Beyond (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 02.
CULPRIT: Grant Morrison (writer) and/or Steve Wands (letterer).
DISSECTION: Overman says "Grosse Krypton", for "Great Krypton"; when it should be "Grosses". Thank you Dominik for the consultation.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"THE CAUSALITIES OF WAR."
TITLE: Guerrillas (Image).
ISSUE: 01 of 09.
CULPRIT: Brahm Revel (writer, in this case)
DISSECTION: The word "casualties" is written "causalties".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, the word "coming" is written as "comig".
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"LIGHTNING FEET."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).
DISSECTION: Well, I give up on Jay Garrick's chest emblem, that's it. He has two costumes, or whatever, and Eaglesham draws him in his team book; which, for lack of a solo book, is the character's main title. Now, I won't be retracting from previous dissections, and also, I won't the change in his boots. That's just a mistake (at least until I decide to give up on that too).
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, His eyes are colored brown, when they should be blue.
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"OH, GROW UP ALREADY!"
TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 45.
CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).
DISSECTION: Once more, Colossal Boy doesn't grow, he's a giant that shrinks.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"AT LEAST IT LOOKS LIKE THE LAST ISSUE..."
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: John Barber (editor) and/or Michael Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: USAgent...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"THEY JUST KEEP CLONING HIM AND TELLING HIM THE PREVIOUS GUY WAS A DIFFERENT ONE."
TITLE: The Mighty Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 17.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).
DISSECTION: If the Skrull we see take Hank Pym's shape at the end of the book is not the first Pym they insert... then why is his Skrull name the same as the previous one's?
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, it can be a title... but I doubt it.
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"NOT THE LAST ISSUE."
TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor) & Mark Paniccia (editor).
DISSECTION: Sigh, Morph. But at least they admit something in the letter column.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"NON-BLUE GENES."
TITLE: New Warriors V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Beth Sotelo (colorist).
DISSECTION: Again, Jubilee's eyes are brown instead of blue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"RREVOLUTIONARRY WARRRIOR!"
TITLE: Pistolfist: Revolutionary Warrior (Bluewater Comics).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: J.S. Earls & David A. Flanary, Jr. (writers) and/or Kel Nuttall (letterer).
DISSECTION: It should be "tyranny", not "tyrrany"
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"SECRET SPIDEY DISSECTION."
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Spider-Man (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 03.
CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).
DISSECTION: Check this one out, tell me what you find wrong:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"THEY STOLE THE REAL PLAQUE AND SOLD IT ON EBAY."
TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 215.
CULPRIT: Scot Eaton (penciller).
DISSECTION: Xavier examines the ruins of the latest iteration of the X-mansion; and he picks up a plaque that reads "Xavier Institute Of Higher Learning"... when the school was called "... For Higher Learning".
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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A low average of 5.4 Bazzars in twenty dissections; but it was to be expected. Here's the Moments Of The Week, short and sweet. First of all, M'rissey again shows why his name in the Legion should be Legal Lad:
I love this kid already! Then, a surprise:
Peter remembers some of his deal with Mephisto??!?! And for the finale, more Norman:
Mark my words, Norman Osborn will be the next president of the USA in Marvel's 616 universe.
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
2 comments:
Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted (Part I):
Nick S.: TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).
Now, I'm not sure if this is a recurring error, but bearing in my the absolutely nerdliness I've had regarding volume numbers recently, I decided checking this out was worth a shot.
If your manner of determining volumes was correct, this would be v8. You're most likely missing the two-issue (#1 and #3) series printed by Modern Comics.
But, as far as I'm aware, you manner of determining volumes is incorrect. Volume numbers reset when then publisher changes. Here is the outline:
Blue Beetle (1939) (Fox) #1-60, no issue 43
Blue Beetle (1955) (Charlton) #18-21
Blue Beetle (1964) (Charlton) v2 #1-5
Blue Beetle (1965) (Charlton) v3 #50-54
Blue Beetle (1967) (Charlton) v4 #1-5
Blue Beetle (1977) (Modern) #1-3, no issue 2
Blue Beetle (1986) (DC) #1-24
Blue Beetle (2006) (DC) v2 #1-30+
So... Whether you accept the whole publisher-resetting-ness or not, this should be either v8 or v2.
Nick S.: And a second dissection... "TITLE: Secret Invasion: Spider-Man (Marvel)."
That would be "Secret Invasion: The Amazing Spider-Man", though I would have accepted "Secret Invasion: Amazing Spider-Man". :P
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Good one about the Secret Invasion: Spidey thing. Also, you're right about Blue Beetle, I consider this a "legacy thing"; so it was V7 for me, but it looks like when I made the count sometime ago, the Modern Comics (which is basically a repackaging of Charlton stories, as it seems all of Modern's publications were) was not indexed.
As an interesting detail; the Fox 1939 series numbering continued in a 1942 series by publisher Holyoke (when numbering continues, I don't considering it a new volume).
Thanks for pointing this stuff out.
Paul C: Is Jackpot even registered? Just a guess as I dropped Spidey months ago so I'm not sure.
-The Guvnor
Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted (Part II):
Nick S.: Yes, Jackpot is registered, going on faint memories from her first appearance. And yeah, I came across that in the research... The Fox series went to the Holyoke series...but then went back to the Fox series. Quite odd.
Also, yay! I'm a Captain!
Brett P.: Actually, the rumor is that Norms will be the next Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Dominik B.: Norman Osborn as the Director of SHIELD? Come off it, you don't want a murdering, schizophrenic psychopath to run Earth's most sophisticated armed forces. That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Sullivan E.: I know it's not the answer, but I do find it humorous that a law would have a union attached to it... She'd actually mean 50 state initiative, and it's not like government soldiers have a union or anything (do they?).
mathias: "and it's not like government soldiers have a union or anything (do they?)" depends under which department they fall under. the armed forces don't have unions but police, firefighters, teachers, doctors etc do have them. I guess it would depend on whether superheroes are under the armed forces or are considered civilians.
Dominik B.: The "SRA" is actually called "SHRA?"
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Snake, that IS the answer, the Superhuman Registration Act is a law, and it can't have a union attached to it. The Fifty State Initiative, in fact, can have one (even if it's unlikely, but they're not exactly soldiers, I think they're still civilians). One more badge for you, Cap'n.
Sullivan E.: Why the hell does Snake get the credit for what I said?
Also, as combatants in the employ of the US Government, they are at least not civilians. Also, superheroes often refer to non-supers as "civilians," although in the classics, they'd call them "Citizen!" >_>
Nick S.: You need to stop mixing up nicks, Magnus...
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Uhm, yeah, sorry Sully.
As for the civilians issue, even though policemen refer to the rest of the people as "civilians", cops ARE civilian security forces. It's military and civilians, that's the division.
Of course, colloquialisms such as cops or supers calling other people "civilians" happen, for the sake of linguistic simplicity. It sure sounds better than "mundanes", "flatscans" or "norms".
Dominik B.: Wouldn't logic call for a word like "People" instead of the more distancing "Citzien" or "Civilian?"
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Logic plays no part in it.
Dominik B.: Why not? If there wasn't logic in stuff like naming people the Joker could be called "Kitchen Sink" instead of the logically fitting "Joker" and Two-Face could be "Bedpan." And Batman gets to be Lamppost. In fact, Comics have always had an odd logic behind the designation of things.
Nick S.: I'm the Goddamned Sink! Fear my Shitterangs!
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: If you wanna get nitpicky about it, they call them "civilians" because it's a fast an easy way to call people who don't do what the supers do.
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