The Dissector

The Nitpicker #27.

DISCLAIMER

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

As the random bit of information/rant I include in each column's intro, have you seen these so-called "Ultimate Guides" on Superman, Wonder Woman, Spider-Man that a publisher called DK is putting out? I've only skimmed over the Wonder Woman and the Superman ones, but for being released now, they are wildly out of date, and contain a lot of omissions and mistakes.

For example, the Superman one shows Byrne designed Krypton (although some parts of the book show early 2000s designs), instead of Birthright Krypton. They show Jimmy as giant Turtle Boy, but not as Elastic Lad, and when they show Superboy (Kon-El) in his second or third uniform, you see him wearing the earphones and goggles that gave him hearing and vision powers, but the caption says "the shades are just cosmetic" or something like that.

I'm not going to actually read these things and catalog each and every single nit, since I believe they would put Civil War: Battle Damage Report to shame, and it would take me to long. Plus, they're written as if for idiots. However, I did learn one thing: who's Darkseid's worst enemy? Superman, perhaps? The High Father, maybe? Jimmy Olsen?

No, it's paparazzi

Also, on Countdown #48, it's confirmed that Mary Marvel and Black Adam are in the "Consulate of the Great Nation of Kahndaq", which validates last week's nit by Mike Marts. Anyway, let's get started with last week's nits, shall we?
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"I'VE GOT A NEW POWER, PARTIAL LIMB INVISIBILITY. I'M THINKING OF TRYING OUT FOR THE LEGION AS PARTIAL-INVISIBILITY LAD."

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Take a look at this image from pages 6 and 7:

Where the heck is the rest of Juggernaut's left leg?!?!? His right leg is behind Pete Wisdom and a box or something, but where is his left leg?

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"I'M THE HUGGERNAUT, BITCH!"

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 19 & 20.

CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Let's zoom out, and see the whole image. Now, the Juggernaut used to be ginormous; but after loosing the complete powers of the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak, he lost some of his size. Now, he's still huge, and his official bio at Marvel.com lists him at 6'10". However, look at the picture below, and consider the heights of the other characters: Captain Britain (I love his new uniform, by the way) is 6'6"; Dazzler is 5'8", and Pete Wisdom is 5'9".

It doesn't seem that Juggernaut is just 6 inches taller than Captain Britain; he looks about 2 feet taller, and Pete Wisdom looks about the same height that Cap, and Dazzler looks a feet shorter than Cap and Wisdom.

Speaking of the Juggernaut, do you know the guy actually has fans that are enraged over him being a hero, and call him names like "Imposternaut" or "Huggernaut" (I love that one)? Me, I liked what has been done with the character, and I think the arc in New Excalibur #13-15 robbed him of a little of his redemption, and, by providing a backstory on how he actually became the Juggernaut, made him a lot more worse than he was. And I think Frank Tieri, who was guest writer, should have lest that alone, for Chris Claremont to deal with. But that's not a topic for this column...

Looking back at issue 19, he's drawn at a normal (if large since he's supposed to be 6'10") size, but only when out of uniform. When he's wearing his costume, he looks freakingly massive, and the only explanation for this is that, somehow, he's drawing power from the Cyttorak gem that he secretly kept on issue 15... but wouldn't his teammates realize that?

NIT-O-METER: This was just going to be 8 Bazzars, but since it's not just Juggie's size that's warped, but the other characters', it's going up to a 10. This guy needs to work on that.
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"NOT EVEN AN ALTERNATE REALITY BEAST GETS A BREAK?"

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 7 (actually a spread between pages 6 and 7), you can see the members of Shadow X, or whatever they're calling this evil X-Men group, and Beast's feet are normal sized, basically the same size as Captain Britain's.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"FILLING? BLIMEY, WHAT'S THAT?"

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer) and maybe Jeremy Haun (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 20, Albion and Sage (infiltrated as one of his followers) break into a secret installation of the British government, where they apparently hold... a treasure vault like Scrooge McDuck's?

One would think that, even if all the gold and treasure there is magical crap, that they'd catalog and archive all the magical objects properly, instead of just having them buried in gold coins.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it's just cheesy. Although I must say, that New Excalibur is the best Claremont has written in years, not on his old level, but at least enjoyable.
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"WE JUST BROUGHT A CAPTAIN MARVEL BALLOON ALONG FOR THE RIDE, TO INTIMIDATE THE AMAZONS."

TITLE: Amazons Attack.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Pete Woods (artist).

NIT-TO-PICK: What's Captain Marvel (obviously Billy Batson) doing on the cover in his traditional uniform? Billy Batson is now long-haired, with white hair, and a white uniform, having taken the place of the wizard Shazam, and Freddy Freeman hasn't yet finished the trials to become the new Captain Marvel.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"WHERE IS MY DAUGHER? WASN'T SHE HERE A MOMENT AGO? GODS, AFTER I CONQUER AMERICA, I'M GOING TO KILL THESE WRITERS!"

TITLE: Amazons Attack.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 16, Queen Hippolyta asks Donna Troy (what's her codename now, anyway, Troia?) to bring her "her daughter", that is, Wonder Woman. Huh? Didn't she meet her at the end of issue 1, and Wonder Woman V3 #8? The timeline on this story is horribly screwed up.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"YO NO HABLO ESPAGNOLO, EVEN IF MY LAST NAME IS HISPANIC."

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: You know how I get mad with English-speaking writers screw up when having characters speak in other languages? Well, imagine how I felt when I saw Spanish mistakes in an issue of Blue Beetle written by somebody whose last name is Torres. And I decided to check on the guy, and turns out he's Filipino, and raised in Montreal, so he gets a pass.

On page 5, Jaime's mother walks into his room since she heard him wake up a little bit rattled, and she says "Mi hijo...?", to say "Son...?", but that's not correct. In Spanish, the way she says it, it's like saying "My son...?", and she's not Odin checking in on Thor. The correct way would be "Hijo mío...?" or even "M'ijo...?" or "M'hijo...?"

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, I'm gonna go soft on J.
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"AND I SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS... WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Torres, you brought this onto yourself! On page 15, Livewire is siphoning energy from the Blue Beetle armor, and Jaime says "Que paso...?", as if to say "What's going on...?", but in Spanish, that means "What happened...?", it would be "Que pasa...?"

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. I can't be that soft.
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"GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 48 of 52 (yup, in reverse, it is, after all, a countdown).

CULPRIT: Adam Beechen (writer) and, less likely, Paul Dini (head writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 17, panel one, Superman says "Great Rao (...)"... what is this, pre-Crisis?

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"AND I STOLE THIS POWER FROM PARTIAL-INVISIBILITY LAD!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 48 of 52 (yup, in reverse, it is, after all, a countdown), History of the Multiverse backup story.

CULPRIT: David Baron (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the larger panel of page 22, Vandal Savage's right leg is missing a chunk, look:

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. By the way, the red circles in the picture are all my doing.
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"BETTING ON YESTERDAY'S FIGHTS."

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Matt Haley (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 16, panel 5, a battle between Solomon Grundy and Martian Manhunter is being shown on a TV screen, as if current, since it's a "superhero vs. villain" betting bar. However, Manhunter is shown in his traditional, round-head, briefs and cape look, instead of his current, conehead and full body suit look.

Since you can see Miss Martian fighting Deathstroke, this seems to be OYL, and Martian Manhunter changed his look during World War III, before the start of OYL.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, since it could very well be an unmentioned battle between Miss Martian (along with the rest of the Titans) and the Terminator during the "52" year.
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"I'M CRAAAAAAAZY, THAT'S WHY EVERYHING I DO OR SAY IS WACKY!"

TITLE: Justice League of America V2.

ISSUE:

CULPRIT: 06.

NIT-TO-PICK: On the last panel of page 3, Superman shows his Legion ring, and the "L" on the symbol is readable from left to right, as it should be, when his palm faces down. But on the spread formed by pages 4 and 5, on the upper right part of page 4, you can see that Starman wears a ring that, not only looks very different from Supes' (although you can chalk that up to it being shown from a distance), but the L is a mirror image that would only be readable (but still a mirror image) if Starman was doing a thumbs up gesture. See below:

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"UH.... I SAID IT TELEPATHICALLY, AND NOT EVEN THE READERS KNOW I DID!"

TITLE: New Avengers: Illuminati V2.

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis & Brian Reed (writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the spread formed by pages 10 and 11, panel 5, Dr. Strange says that the inhabitants of the faux New York City they find have no minds, but then on page 12, panel 2, Mr. Fantastic says "Charles, you're saying that these people aren't real?", but Xavier hasn't said anything referring the "people" of "New York City".

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"NOW, NOW, IS THAT THE SAME MOUTH YOU SAY 'IMPERIUS REX!' WITH?"

TITLE: New Avengers: Illuminati V2.

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis & Brian Reed (writers), but most likely Bendis.

NIT-TO-PICK: Another spread, between pages 22 and 23, on the third panel, Namor says "And quite an %^$#ing idiot." Wow, I just realized this is a double nit!

The first nit I realized, is that Namor wouldn't speak like that, ever. Bendis is probably indulging in his potty-mouth tendencies (shown in full glory on the Powers letters page), taking advantage of what seems to be a new Marvel policy: you can have your characters curse as long as you censor the words.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, pretty bad characterization for a well known character like Namor.
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"THIS IS AN NIT."

TITLE: New Avengers: Illuminati V2.

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis & Brian Reed (writers) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the same sentence that above, the double nit I realized while writing that one up, is that it says "an" instead of "a". If it said "And quite an irritating idiot!", then that'd be ok, but it obviously says "fucking", so it should be "And quite a fucking idiot!"

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"LOOK INTO MY EYES."

TITLE: Teen Titans V3.

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: Chris Batista (penciller) and/or The Hories (whoever that is, colorist)

NIT-TO-PICK: I've always been puzzled by domino masks. Well, not always, but I was, during some time. Then I dispelled the first mystery about them: they're held with spirit gum or some other sort of adhesive. Then I wondered, why do most of them (and some full superhero masks, for the matter) have all-white eyes. Then somebody told me that, at least in the Batman's case, the mask has night-vision lenses, or at least some sort of lens that conceals the wearer's eye colors.

Then on this comic, on pages 2 and 3 (a spread, seems like a theme in this week's column), we can see in the second panel (the actual spread) on the far left (for the readers) Robin, whose domino mask sports white eyes, and we can't see anything behind the white lenses. But on the same panel, on the readers' far right, we can see Nightwing's blue eyes completely, even behind his mask. Speaking of blue eyes, I was checking on something earlier, and all four in-continuity Robins (Dick, Jason, Tim, and Stephanie) have/had blue eyes. Bruce, is that a fetish of yours?

Then on the same double page, but on panel 3, we can see both Robin and Nightwing, and their eyes (both of Robin's, and Nightwing's right one) are concealed behind white lenses. On page 4, Dick's eyes are still concealed behind the lenses on both panels he appears in. We're still good on page 8, panel 1, where both batboys have white lenses; but on panel 4 of the same page, we can see Dick's eyes but not Tim's. Incidentally, Dick's eyes seem... weird, like he can move them independently, see?

I know, some people can actually do that, moving their eyes independently, that's why it's not going down as a nit. On the last panel of page 8, they're too faraway fro us to see their eyes, and actually, the level of detail on that panel is pretty low. You tired already, Batista? It's just page 8! He obviously is, because on page 9, panel 2, background characters Wonder Girl, Donna Troy and Ravager are doing their best Question impression:

But I digress, I can't call that a nit.... even if I want to.... The thing is, that on panel 1 of page 9, you can see Dick's eyes again, but not Jason Todd's, and not Tim's. Panel 2 shows them from a distance, so nothing can be gleaned there, but on panel 4 you can see the outlines of Jason's eyes. Panel 5 again has white lenses for everybody.

Turn to page 10, and the first panel shows Jason's eyes a little bit more clearly, and nothing for any of the three former Bat-sidekicks, just white lenses. What the hell is going on here??!!?

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, it could be a lighting effect, that is, depending on how the light hits the lenses, you can see the eyes behind them, but given the positions of the characters heads when they share panels, it's not very likely that lightning is the cause.
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So, that's it for this week; 16 nits, so no backlog material had to be used, and an average of 6.8 Bazzars. Whoa, that's only one point below our highest ever average (7.8, issue 20), and it ties with issue 2 as our second highest average. I'm thinking that the average might have been higher, but I haven't gotten my copy of Star Trek: TNG: The Space Between that was released this week yet.... hehehe. Catch you in a few days, have a good week, and until then, remember that nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!