Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Dissector #56.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Of course. More ninjas." Batman about Ra's al Ghul's minions, Detective Comics #840.

Alright, so the longest catch-up in the history of this column continues, and here are the dissections from the week of 01-04! It's short, both in amount of dissections and in the length of the write-ups, because there wasn't really much to write about. In fact, with a total of twelve dissections for the column (the closest ever to the ten dissection minimum I require before resorting to my vaults), I didn't even want to not write up a few of the dissections I had. Last column's Dissect This! was not solved by anyone (a lot of my readers are missing... MKF? Roy? guys??!?!), but I'll reveal it anyway: John Stewart's costume was incorrect; he was drawn and colored as having full green gloves, when he actually has some sort of bracelet thingies... I should have credited that issue's colorist too, because he could have fixed Freddie William's mistake.

I'm going to keep the Picks Of The Week short too; the Worst Book Of The Week was JFH: Justice For Hire #1. Plot out of a bad action comedy, and several spelling mistakes, not typos, but real horrors (as you can see in the dissections below), as if it was written by a 14 year old (and an uneducated one, at that). The art too, is juvenile, unprofessional, and just plain painful too look at. The Best Book Of The Week was, yes, you guessed it (if you're looking at a list of books published that week), it's Doktor Sleepless #4! Starting with magnificent covers by the series' artist Ivan Rodriguez, and a wrap variant by Raulo Cáceres (the latter perfectly capturing the mad scientist essence of the good Doktor), this book delivers just as it does month after month. Not all is visual bliss, for we also get more peeks at Dok's past, and yet another one at Nurse Igor's past. In fact, there is even some plot advancement in the shape of the angel construct! This series is a must read, real horrorshow (that means "good", for those of you that are ignorant about A Clockwork Orange). Alas, my droogs, on to the dissections, real skorry!
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"FORERUNAWAY!"

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Karl Kerschl (cover penciller).

DISSECTION: Forerunner is on the cover, along with Monarch, as if they were still in cahoots... but he kicked her out weeks ago!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S NOT THE HEELS, BUT..."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).

DISSECTION: On page 15, Mary Marvel's (or should I say just "Mary"?) civilian shirt is colored wrong.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OK, THIS TIME IT IS THE HEELS..."

TITLE: Countdown To Mystery #04 of 08 (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 08.

CULPRIT: Stephen Jorge Segovia (artist for the Spectre/Eclipso story).

DISSECTION: Mary Marvel gets no heels, or at least, smaller than they should be. Still, Segovia gets props for panels like the one below. Yummy!


DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's not Countdown.
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"WHERE ARE MY CAVES?"

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 840.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

DISSECTION: Batman is left "stranded" away from his Batmobile; and he has to steal some clothes and take a cab to get back home... but it's been shown in the past that's he's got backup Batcaves all over Gotham.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IMMORTAL DISSECT THIS!"

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 840.

CULPRIT: John Kalisz (colorist).

DISSECTION: Look below, tell me if you can find the problem.


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT DOES SIGN SAY?"

TITLE: Exiles: Days Of Now And Then (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Carlos Ferreira (penciller, chapter 1).

DISSECTION: Odd, the indicia for this book just says "Exiles No. 1".... But the dissection is actually that the sign on the gates of what's left of the Xavier Institute on a particular Earth, it reads "INSTITUTE XAVIER FOR (...) STUDY (....)"... What the hell is "INSTITUTE XAVIER" supposed to be? The same way I complain about English-speaking writers not bothering to find out how something is said in Spanish; Ferreira here, who from his last name most likely is Hispanic, Portuguese or Brazilian, didn't bother to check, oh, I don't know, ONE OF THE SEVERAL HUNDRED MUTANT COMICS WHERE THE SIGN FOR THE XAVIER INSTITUTE FOR HIGHER LEARNING (or any of it's permutations) IS SHOWING!?!??!!??!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"CLEAN YOUR PALETTES WITH THIS..."

TITLE: JFH: Justice For Hire (Creative Impulse Entertainment).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jan Lucanus & Jan C. Childress (writers) and/or Atlantis Studios (letterers).

DISSECTION: Do yourself a favor, don't pick this thing up. But I dared read it, so I found a few dissections. The first one is that on page seven, the word "palettes" is used instead of "palates".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"DON'T DO THAT, YOU'RE GONNA END UP LIKE THAT FOREVER!"

TITLE: JFH: Justice For Hire (Creative Impulse Entertainment).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Antonio Rojo (artist)

DISSECTION: Page 16, blank eyes on normal humans.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S ABOUT STATUES."

TITLE: JFH: Justice For Hire (Creative Impulse Entertainment).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jan Lucanus & Jan C. Childress (writers) and/or Atlantis Studios (letterers).

DISSECTION: Page 19, the word "statuatory" instead of "statutory".,

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HANG YOUR PLANE OVER THERE."

TITLE: JFH: Justice For Hire (Creative Impulse Entertainment).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jan Lucanus & Jan C. Childress (writers) and/or Atlantis Studios (letterers).

DISSECTION: Page 25, "hanger" instead of "hangar".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STREET K!"

TITLE: Supergirl V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Drew Johnson & Lee Ferguson (pencillers).

DISSECTION: Kryptonians wearing almost normal Earth clothes? Including Zor-El wearing carpenter pants?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CHANGED MY SHADES."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 494.

CULPRIT: Billy Tan (penciller) and Franka D'Armata (colorist).

DISSECTION: Prodigy's goggles are not the right shape or color.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well, the average for this week was a nice 6.6 Bazzars, and let's take a look at the moments of the week, which are also scant. Ra's is smart because he's lived long, and he's learned to keep a receipt:


Smart fella. And the following one, is the creepiest moment I've seen in quite some time:


Uh, Norman, I think your meds need a little readjustment.... Or you just need a wee bit of Ludovico's Technique! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

2 comments:

The Guvnor Paul C said...

Is Dissect This that the guy has red eyes. I'm not familiar with the character so it is just a guess.

That Goblin pic is just downright creepy too.

MaGnUs said...

You got it Guvnor, R'as eyes should be green, not red.