DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"This job would be a lot easier if it was more like television. I'd find a clue during a special effects montage, and use it to solve the whole case in under an hour. That, and my assistant would be a beautiful woman in a tight sweater." NYPD Crime Scene Investigator, Witchblade #117.
Well, about a month have passed since I last posted a column, and since I started this one, just putting in the Quote Of The Week... and I'll confess that even if for most of that month I've been swamped with work, this past week I just slacked. So let's see if I can finish this column today. Comics in this column were published on the week of 04/23... I still have two more weeks from April, the whole month of May, and three weeks (soon to be four) from June... Catch up time, yet again.
Thanks to Alejandro Castro, aka "Peter Parker", for this shout out about the Incredible Hulk #118 thing. Moving on to business, Matías, from the ICS.net crew discovered the "Dissect This!", at least partially. John Stewart's wearing gloves instead of bracers. His chest emblem is also wrong, Mat didn't spot that, but he still gets the badge. Welcome to the HDSC, Ensign Matías N.! As it's usual with catch-up times, the Dissector's Picks will be as short and sweet as possible. Best Book Of The Week is Everybody's Dead #2, just chockfull of fun and gore. Worst Book Of The Week is Flash Gordon #0, call me old-fashioned, but it's just horrible how they turned Flash Gordon into a manga. Shoo now, dissections time.
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"WELL, IT'S JUST SUPERMAN, IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S GOT A CLASSIC, RECOGNIZABLE COSTUME."
TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 25.
CULPRIT: Santiago Arcas (colorist).
DISSECTION: Good God, Arcas! How can you work as a comic book colorist and not know that Superman's CAPE emblem is all yellow, not red and yellow like his chest one?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Fire's name is spelled incorrectly, as usual.
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"MULTI-EMPLOYMENT, IT EVEN PLAGUES SUPERHEROES"
TITLE: Countdown To Infinite Crisis (DC).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).
DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner and Donna Troy decide to team up again, to go around the galaxy, and yadda-yadda... but this does not mesh at all with Kyle's role in GL Corps, where he LIVES in Oa, and works directly for the Guardians as Guy's new partner in the Honor Guard.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Ray Palmer's eyes are colored blue, when they should be brown.
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"LIKE I SAID, JUST SUPERMAN."
TITLE: Death Of The New Gods (DC).
ISSUE: 08 of 08.
CULPRIT: Jim Starling (penciller)
DISSECTION: There's no shield on Superman's cape in one panel, or it's too small because it's covered by a small caption box.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"A PROTEAN NAME, IT CHANGES..."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 66.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Just found this one while checking something for another dissection, I talked about "Proteus" (a Marvel character), when I meant "Prometheus", a DC character.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"BACK TO THE FUTURE!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 20.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
DISSECTION: Flash (Wally West) says he just "came back from the future". Uh... Dwayne, he didn't go to the future...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"IGNORING THE CHANGES, OR SAVE?"
TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Mark Paniccia (editor) and/or Nathan Cosby & Jordan D. White (assistant editors).
DISSECTION: Morph is still not acknowledged as Proteus in the recap page.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"FACE ME!"
TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Intelligence Gathering (IDW).
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: David Messina (artist).
DISSECTION: PEOPLE WITHOUT FACES!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Picard's eyes should be brown, not green, and there's a panel where Chief O'Brien's hair looks like it's a wig made of yarn...
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"MULTI-TASKING ROBOT."
TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Intelligence Gathering (IDW).
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).
DISSECTION: Data, who is the Enterprise's Operations and Science officer, is ordered by Picard, and makes analysis about tactical situations, which is a job for the Tactical officer (Worf, in this case).
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WHO'S THAT OLD MAN?"
TITLE: Star Trek: New Frontier (IDW).
ISSUE: 04 of 04.
CULPRIT: Leonard O'Grady (colorist).
DISSECTION: Hash's hair is still colored white, when he's blonde.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, not a dissection (but only after careful considering), why does Admiral Shelby (an ADMIRAL) have a Lt. JG as her second in command? As her adjutant, I could see it, but she should at least have a Lt. Cmdr. or a Cmdr. as her first officer.
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"DISSECT THE FORCE!"
TITLE: Star Wars: Legacy (Dark Horse).
ISSUE: 22.
CULPRIT: Alan Robinson (artist).
DISSECTION: Check this out, besides the simplified figures, what looks wrong?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"OH, SURPRISE!"
TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 47.
CULPRIT: Michael Green & Mike Johnson (writers).
DISSECTION: Superman is surprised to find a government military unit dedicated to defeating him if he goes rogue, when he faced a similar unit not too long ago in one of his own books.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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Wow, I'm back with a vengeance! The average Bazzars for this column is 7.6, in 15 dissections, and the highest average since column 31, back in July, 2007. Statistics out of the way, let's go with the Moments Of The Week. First up, the return of a classic:
OMAC! Then, one of the funny moments that make Everybody's Dead book of the week:
Just one word: LOL! Now, Hulk shows us why he's so incredible:
Then, cloning Doomsday is stupid, what's more stupid?
Cloning him and adding kryptonite! And last, an awesome "viking" moment from Thor and Odin:
Damn. That's it for now, until next week, hope to have a new column in a couple of days. I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
