The Dissector

The Nitpicker #30.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

Well, I'm back after skipping a week, as I said in my last column, I was working on something. I've been invited to take part in a book of essays celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Legion of Superheroes. It's taken me more than I expected, but it's to be expected, since I've never written such a long article. My essay ended up being 17 pages long!

I'm very happy with the result, and as soon as the book is on sale, I'll let you know. As for this week's column, it's certainly beefy, both in amount of nits (35), and in content, with several fun things I spotted.

Now, on two personal notes, I was reading the Sinestro Corps Special, which, whoa, is one of the best single issues I've ever read, don't miss it, and on page 27-28, when they show the spread of the whole Sinestro Corps, I found... MY DAD!!!! Look below, and tell me if it ain't him!


Man, I know he's a lawyer, but this is too much... maybe he can get me one of them rings? And the second not is, that while write this, sitting on my shoulder is the newest member of my family. No, I didn't get a parrot, and no, I didn't have a second kid and sit him on my shoulder. I'm talking about Baudelaire the cat, a one month old kitten we've adopted. Here he is:


Ain't he cute? And as much as I like Charles Baudelaire the poet (in fact, I don't like poetry, yet his book The Flowers Of Evil is one of my favorite books), he's not named directly after him. Who can tell me who I named him after? Hint, it's comic book related.

Now, before going to the nits, lemme show you a pic of my two year old, Gabriel, so he doesn't get too jealous.


Isn't he a cutie as well? He's a comic fan already, and Green Lantern is one of his faves (granted, I kinda forced it upon him, but well). He can recite Hal Jordan's oath and make his daddy very proud.
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"I'M THE BATMAN, YOU'RE THE LADY."

TITLE: The Brave And The Bold V3.

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 3, panel 2, Batman says "La Dama, run!"; "La Dama" means "The Lady", and you would never call her "La Dama" when talking directly at her, it's like saying "The Lady, run!"

I was going to give this just 5 Bazzars, but since Blue Beetle does the same, it goes up.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars
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"IT SMELLS LIKE POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

TITLE: Checkmate V2.

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka & Judd Winick (writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 15, our heroes (that is, Checkmate operatives plus most of the Outsiders) access the bad guys' hideout through a waste disposal pipe, and they even acknowledge it smells like shit.

Then why is Fire flying around in her full "human torch" form, and the (methane-filled) place is not blowing up to hell?

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WE DON'T LIKE YOU TONY!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 45 of 52 (you know the drill by now).

CULPRIT: Mike Marts (editor) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: As Marts himself admitted in this Newsarama piece, Tony Bedard, who was Paul Dini's co-writer for this issue, wasn't listed in the credits.

Instead, Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti, who co-wrote issue 46, are listed.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"OR MAYBE IT'S THE ZIGGY MARLEY SONG?"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 45 of 52 (you know the drill by now).

CULPRIT: Jimmy Olsen, after all he MUST DIE... err, no... sorry... Paul Dini (head writer) and/or Tony Bedard (writer), possibly even Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the double spread made by pages 7 and 8, Jimmy Olsen recaps about the New Gods (where did he learn so much about them?), and refers to the Forever People as the Tomorrow People, which was actually a British TV programme.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, don't fuck with the King.
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"I CHANGED WHEN NOBODY WAS LOOKING!"

TITLE: The Invincible Iron Man.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Butch Guice (penciller/inker) and Dean White (colorist... funny, a colorist named White).

NIT-TO-PICK: Iron Man's new Hulkbuster Armor, as first shown on page 18 (shown below, right), looks different from the one shown in World War Hulk (left). Dammit, can't these guys coordinate the designs?



NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"THIS IS POWERGIRL, AND THATS BAT MAN..."

TITLE: Justice League of America V2.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Brad Meltzer (writer) and/or Rob Leigh (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Now, the Lightning Saga was a fun read, especially for us Legion fans, but there were quite a few errors. That, and the fact that after the long-assed decompression hellfest that this book's been this past 10 issues, with Meltzer writing the contents of barely 6 issues into 10 full books; has made this barely readable.

We're gonna start with an easy one... on page 5, Nura Nal refers to herself as Dreamgirl, when her name is Dream Girl.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"YEAH, AND GUYS FROM XANTHU HAVE FOUR TESTICLES!"

TITLE: Justice League of America V2.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Brad Meltzer (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 7, Superman confronts Sensor Girl and scans her "TWO HEARTS" to make sure it's her... what? Orandians have never been physically different from humans, there's never been any indication that they had two hearts before.

This might not be a nit per se, since there's no actual reference that ever said her race had only one heart, but, in any case, it's shoddy writing.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"I THOUGH HE WAS RAISED IN KANSAS..."

TITLE: Justice League of America V2.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Brad Meltzer (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: And then, on the same page, Superman says "Rao..." Dammit people, this isn't Pre-Crisis!!!

NIT-O-METER: First time this happened, in Superman/Batman Vs. Alien/Predators, I gave it a 6. Then it happened in Countdown, and I gave it a 7. Now it's getting 8 Bazzars.
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"JUSTICE HEAGUE OF AMERICA."

TITLE: Justice League of America V2.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Rob Leigh (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Last page, on the credits, the title of the story is written in Interlac font, to simulate the Legion's future language. However, when translated with this chart, it becomes clear that they've made a goof.

See, the title is undoubtedly meant to be "The Villain IS The Hero In His Own Story", but they wrote "Tle Villain Is tle Lero in lis Own Story", confusing the "l" with the h". Granted, they are similar, but they didn't have to do this by hand, dammit, since there is a freeware Interlac font, made by Kashif Khusain, back in 1994. Props to Kashif, it's a great font to have.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, just because this is a stupid mistake to make.
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"EKS-MEN."

TITLE: X-Men: Endagered Species.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer) and/or VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 23, Sebastian Shaw mentions Magneto by his "first name" of "Eric", but it's Erik, as I have pointed out in the past, and as Marvel has it on their website.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, since it keeps being happening.
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"GEE MARTHA, EVER HEARD OF SECRET IDENTITIES?"

TITLE: Amazons Attack.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Superman flew last issue to put out the fires in Kansas' fields, and on this issue, on page 2, after doing so, he gets a kiss from Martha Kent, who, IN FRONT OF A LOT OF PEOPLE, and without any indications that she's whispering, says "You've done enough Clark.

Way to go Martha, even if she is whispering (and the speech bubble doesn't have a dotted outline, nor is the font in it smaller than other bubbles; just by kissing Superman, she is compromising Clark's secret. Hey, at least the Kents look kind of old here...

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"HYUK, HYUK, AH RULE 'LECTRSHUTY!"

TITLE: Amazons Attack.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Then on page 3, one of the Kents' neighbors calls them over to his truck to watch the news on a TV hooked up to the lighter of his truck (because, you know, Kansas cars don't have radios, and the people there have never heard of batteries), and he says "This TV hooked up to the lighter in my truck--check it out!".

It's like he's saying that the TV hooked itself up to the lighter, shouldn't he say "This TV is hooked (...)"? And it's gotta be a crappy TV, 'cause there's no image on the screen.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"BEING SHAZAM THE WIZARD DON'T PAY MUCH..."

TITLE: Amazons Attack.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Pete Woods (penciller/inker) and/or Will Pfeifer (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 14, panel 3, Captain Marvel is seen battling some monsters with other heroes. It's not entirely clear, like it was on the cover of last issue, if this is supposed to be Billy Batson or Freddy Freeman, but it can't be either.

Billy is no longer Captain Marvel, he's now Shazam (long white hair and white uniform), and Freddy, who's still undergoing his trials, doesn't yet have the power to fly, like this Cap seems to be doing, he doesn't have a cape yet, and his hair is longer than what can be seen her.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, as this is clearly happening at the same time Countdown is (though I don't know how the heroes are here and at other places at the same time, it's worse than it's ever been).
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"RUBBING IT IN BATMAN?"

TITLE: Amazons Attack.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 17, Batman asks Oracle to connect him to Green Arrow (Oliver Queen), referring to him as "the Mayor of Star City". Uh... Bats... Ollie is not Mayor anymore, y'know?

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"EYE SEE YOU..."

TITLE: Amazons Attack.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Brad Anderson (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 19, Grace Choi's (from the Outsider) eyes are colored blue. Her eyes, while being dark-colored, are usually covered with purple contact lenses.

Yes, she could be wearing blue ones, but methinks it's actually the colorist not checking references.

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"OH D?OS M?O!"

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Phil Balsman (letterer), and maybe also John Rogers (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: When I pick up Blue Beetle, not only do I know it's going to be a good read, I also know it's going to have at least one Spanish language related nit!

In this case, on page 10, panel two, Paco starts reciting the Hail Mary in Spanish, but he says "Dios et salve, Mar? a (...)" instead of "Dios te salve María(...), which means "God save you Mary", the equivalent of "The Lord is with thee".

Two things are wrong here, the first is "et" instead of "te"; and the second one is the tilde on "María" being replaced by "? ". This is something that happens sometimes with fonts or programs with character sets that don't include Latin characters such as the accented vowels (I think that's the reason).

In any case, I'm going to give props to John Roger for trying to get this right. In this case, it seems like an honest error. It's still funny, so I'm gonna show you the image. Even if you don't speak Spanish, you can notice there's something wrong there:


NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars (it's an honest error, but still, how could you not notice there's a question mark in the middle of a word?).
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"SO, NOW I'M NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR CAPS?"

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: I caught this nit while working on the one above. On the panel before the Hail Mary debacle, Paco says "oh god.", which, contrary to normal comic book speech, is not capitalized, maybe to show the low tone he's saying it (instead of the usual effect of just making the font smaller).

However, "God" should be capitalized, since, as a Christian (as shown in the following panel, he's at least raised as a Christian), you'd refer to God, not god.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"YEAH, IT DON'T PAY GOOD, SO I'M LEAVING IT TO FREDDY..."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 44 of 52 (yadda, yadda).

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (head writer) and/or Adam Beechen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 6, Billy Batson (formerly Captain Marvel, now Shazam) tells Mary Marvel (or is it Black Mary now?) that Freddy Freeman is undergoing the Trials of Shazam to "(...) be the new Shazam."

WTF? Billy, don't you remember the difference between Shazam and Captain Marvel? Come on, you can call Freddy Captain Marvel, Joe Quesada's not watching!

I'd like to thank TobiasJeth from #comic-scans for bringing this to my attention, although I'd already spotted it coming from miles away.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"BAD HAIR DAY."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 44 of 52 (yadda, yadda).

CULPRIT: Carlos Magno (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Holly Robinson (formerly Catwoman II) gets invited to what looks like Amazons or the kind of porn movie I like on page 15. However, her hair (not to mention her attire), looks nothing like it did the week before. See below, on the left, we have Holly from issue 45, and on the right, from this issue:


Mike Marts explains on Newsarama that, having several artists on one book, changing almost weekly, can cause things like this. I think it shouldn't, I mean, I can understand character's faces looking differently (Holly looks like two different women from 45 to 44), but editors should make sure artists stick to the "extensive database of visual reference" Marts says all artists work from. Then he says "(...) in Countdown #45, Holly was having a bad hair day". Pfft!

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"I DIDN'T CUT MY HAIR, I SUCKED IT INTO MY SKULL."

TITLE: Black Panther V4.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Francis Portela (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Johnny Storm, in this issue has very different hair than he had in this week's Fantastic Four V1 547, see below. Below, left, Johnny's hair on Black Panther, and on the right, his hair on Fantastic Four. See?


NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, time can have passed but not that much.
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"BUT WE DON'T LIKE THE BLACK ONES!"

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 547.

CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist... hehe... mounts).

NIT-TO-PICK: See below, at right, the black uniforms Johnny and Ben are wearing to match the ones worn by their current teammates (Black Panther and Storm). At left, you can see the wrongly colored blue ones, as in their classic ones. Last issue of FF, they were wearing the black ones...


NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, yes, they could be wearing their spare uniforms or something...
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"THE JUSTICE LUEAGUE IS COMING UP."

TITLE: JSA: Classified.

ISSUE: 27.

CULPRIT: Pat Brosseau (letterer) and/or Frank Tieri (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 8, the newscaster says "(...) Justice Socoiety (...)" Uuuuh....

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"THIS BOOK IS WRITTEN BY DAN SLUT & TY TEMPLETONE."

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers) and/or Dave Shape (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: We've been over this before, haven't we? Back when I trudged through Civil War: Battle Damage Report....

She-Hulk, or more precisely, Jennifer Walters, works for law firm Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway. The first three names come from the names of the founding fathers of Marvel Comics: publisher Martin Goodman; publisher and writer Stan Lee, (born Stanley Lieber) and writer/artist Jack Kirby (born Kurtzberg).

Now, any good Marvel fan knows this, and any writer or letterer intending on spoofing this, needs to know this as well. Then why, for the second time in a few months, is this spelled wrong? On page 7, panel one, the caption says "Kurtzburg". DAMMIT!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, repeat, and fucking with the King. At least this time just got one name wrong.
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"UH... IT'S OVER ALREADY?"

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 10, the newscaster talks about New York recovering from "(...) the Hulk's recent attack on Earth!"... uhm... I know this is not a very serious book, but could it at least pretend to follow the company's overall storyline?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"SHHHH, IT'S A SILENT WAR!"

TITLE: Silent War.

ISSUE: 06 of 06.

CULPRIT: David Hine.

NIT-TO-PICK: Good miniseries, bad last issue, horrible ending. But where does this whole thing fit with World War Hulk? Black Bolt leads the Inhumans, and Attilan is still standing in World War Hulk, but in this comic, Maximus takes over the Inhumans government, and the city is destroyed.

I mean, I like big storylines, but editorial needs to coordinate this better.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"I SHAVED."

TITLE: (Supergirl And) The Legion Of Super-Heroes V5.

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Kevin Sharpe (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Tony Bedard is no Mark Waid, but his Exiles wasn't bad, and this book is not going downhill, for the moment. However, I do hope Kevin Sharpe is only a fill-in penciller, because he's awful... well, not so much, his faces suck.

In this case, the first nit is his; on page 5 (during a dream sequence), Brainiac 5 sports his usual circuit lines on the right cheek, but then on the first four panels of page 6 he doesn't have them, only to have them, appear on panel 5.

Yeah, I guess they could be retractable or something, and while he was sleeping (he's woken on page 6 by Star Boy) they're withdrawn... but... I don't think so.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"THIS ARGUMENT IS SO OLD, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE SAYING ANYMORE."

TITLE: (Supergirl And) The Legion Of Super-Heroes V5.

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 10, the speech bubbles for Lightning Lad (Garth Ranzz) and his brother Mekt Ranzz are switched between the two. It's even more noticeable because Mekt says "Seriously, Mekt!" and Garth goes "You were always a sore loser, Garth."

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"MATH IS DIFFERENT IN THE FUTURE."

TITLE: (Supergirl And) The Legion Of Super-Heroes V5.

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Legion of Super-Heroes election results (page 9): Brainiac 5: 7%, Cosmic Boy: 23%, Lightning Lad: 26%, Supergirl: 54%. So, it adds up to 110%! What?

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"THEY'RE SPITGUARDS."

TITLE: Teen Titans V3.

ISSUE: 48.

CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: See below, where the hell did those Spaaaaaaace Amazon helmets come from!?!? Not in any issue of Wonder Woman or Amazons Attack have helmet like this been show, nor do they look anything like what an Amazon would wear.


NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"I'M BLEACHING IT FOR THE WEDDING."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Alex Sinclair (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Black Canary is not platinum blonde, yet on page 10, as you can see below, her hair is clearly that color, instead of matching Nemesis' hair color, as it should.


NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"NEXT UP, THE AMAZON CALLED BRITNEY."

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Jodi Picoult.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, Nemesis, disguised as Hippolyta, orders an Amazon to bring "her" something. He calls the Amazon "Marta", which is a Georgian Italian, Spanish, Polish and Portuguese from the Hebrew/Aramaic language.

Some people claim it's been around longer than that, meaning dedicated to Mars, Roman god of war. Still, the Amazons are Greek, not Roman. And how the hell does Nemesis know the Amazon's name? Does they wear nametags?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"IT'S THE HULK MAN, I JUST SHITTED MYSELF UP TO MY EYEBALLS!"

TITLE: World War Hulk: X-Men.

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: Laura Villari (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the last panel of the last page (23), Professor X's eyes are colored brown, and his eyes are blue, as you can see on Marvel's site. Good book, by the way, mostly a fight, but a great fight.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it's minor, but you could check your references, couldn't ya Laura?.
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"BUNCHA CRACKERS AIN'T GONNA TELL ME NOT TO EVACUATE MA 'HOOD!"

TITLE: World War Hulk: Front Line.

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: Paul Jenkins (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The book shows poor neighborgoods like Harlem not being evacuated after the Hulk's threat. Are we supposed to believe that Luke Cage, who's team is working in the evacuation under a temporary amnesty, would not make sure his 'hood is evacuated?

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"IT'S A FINGER TRICK..."

TITLE: X-Men V2.

ISSUE: 200.

CULPRIT: Chris Bachalo (penciller) and/or Edgard Delgado & Antonio Fabela (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Gambit's gloves have been traditionally depicted as having the thumb, index, and pinky fingers uncovered. Here, when he is first show in full view, on page 19, his thumb is covered.

Well, he's been shown sometimes with gloves that have naked thumbs, so that's not the nit. On page 22, his thumb can be seen uncovered, only to be covered again on page 23. And there it is, free again on page 24, and apparently too on page 30!

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN VERY IMMATURE"

TITLE: X-Men V2.

ISSUE: 200.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 20, Rogue's shown remembering her past in her room at Mystique's house. Problem is, she's shown as a child, when she ran away and was taken in by Mystique when she was a teenager already.

Granted, this could be Rogue's screwed up memories, or it could be that Humberto Ramos' (penciller for this page) style makes her look like a little kid when she's supposed to be a teen. Hell, Mystique looks like a kid here... just look:


NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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See, didn't I tell you this week was beefier? And the average of 6.1 Bazzars isn't bad either; lower than last column's 6.3, but not by much, and way better than the 5.1 before that. Well, as for next week, I might miss that week as well, since I'll be out of the country for a few days. So I'll most likely see you on the week after, until then, remember nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!