The Dissector #143.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"We are your gods! And not docile Morgan Freeman God, we're talking full-force, 110% Jack Kirby Gods! With armor and Omega Beams and chess pieces made to look like my enemies!" Wannabe warlocks at a convention, Angel #27.

Welcome to the column for 12/03, as we, quite obviously, near the end of 2009. Right of the bat, Donald313 noticed that Vibe's grave doesn't have enough space for the rest of his last name, "Ramone" (obscured behind him rising as a Black Lantern) to fit. Badge for you, El-Tee.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week is actually from a few weeks ago, but there was absolutely no other book this week that deserved even to share this spot with... Comic Book Comics #4. Fred Van Lente and Ryan Dunlavey deliver, as they did with Action Philosophers, a great telling of the history of our medium, with hilarious humor and really good information for even someone like me, who considers himself pretty knowledgeable about the subject. Worst Book Of The Week? Batman: Unseen #5, with bad art, and horrible characterization of Batman. The only good part? It's the last issue of this fiasco.

The Rundown: Angel (issue #26, while checking the names of the warlocks from the quote, which weren't there, and only one of them was named in #27, I noticed that the toy-style cover says "seperately"), Batman: Unseen (horrible costume exaggeration, eyes without details), Black Widow & The Marvel Girls (wrong eye color for Black Widow, someone in Russian using the Anglicization of her last name, "Romanoff"), Blackest Night: The Flash (wrong costume on Kid Flash, Donna Troy's wound is missing, Gorilla City is not hidden by a special frequency only Flashes can match), Dark Avengers (the Sentry doesn't wear gloves as part of his costume), DC Nation 12/03 (a space is missing between two words), The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (horrible Spanish as usual, including using male adjectives for the Virgin Mary), Hulk: Winter Guard (fake Russian), Psylocke (Psylocke has green eyes first, then blue eyes; when they should be violet, and Yukio, a Japanese character, has blue eyes), Superman: World Of New Krypton (house crests on Kryptonian clothes change between panels). Dissections it is, then.
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"AUTHORITATIVE DISSECTION."

TITLE: The Authority V4 (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Drew Johnson (penciller).

DISSECTION: From a couple of months ago; but right off the bat, DISSECT THIS!


Pretty easy, I'll say.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. It could be a double, but I'm being lenient and just counting it as one.
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"THE LOST EARS."

TITLE: The Authority: The Lost Year (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 03 of 12.

CULPRIT: Darick Robertson (penciller).

DISSECTION: Swift is portrayed with pointed ears, when her ears are normal. She has, occasionally, from what I've seen, been portrayed with pointy ears, and sometimes her ears change shape even within the same issue, and the same page, in old issues, although she usually has normal ears. That, coupled with the fact that she has the ability to shift her hands and feet from normal to talon-like, makes me give this a low rating, though.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Her eyes, however, should be brown, not blue.
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"DEITY!"

TITLE: The Authority: The Lost Year (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 03 of 12.

CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (script).

DISSECTION: Really, Keith? The Doctor, aka Habib bin Hassan, a former Palestinian suicide bomber who is the world's shaman, its "Sorcerer Supreme" utters "Jesus wept!" when surprised? Really?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"ALL-STAR, TRULY."

TITLE: JSA All-Stars (DC).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).

DISSECTION: Among many other things (including a lettering balloon pointing at the wrong character, Cyclone costume mistakes, wacky anatomy, and the word "menatally"... well, I've listed everything except Magog's eye being the wrong color, so there...), Power Girl's costume sleeve is torn in battle, and the shape and location of the tears change incongruously between panels.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"KABLOOEY."

TITLE: Spin Angels (Marvel/Soleil).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Jean-Luc Sala (writer).

DISSECTION: You know I've been enjoying this book greatly, as one reviewer put it, it's "a head-on collision between John Woo and John Paul II". However, I really don't understand how a gas used to prevent ancient documents from deteriorating would be highly flammable, as to ignite with a flash grenade into a huge explosion.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"PUBIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE."

TITLE: Superman: Secret Origin (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe noticed that Perry White talks about the Daily Planet's "pubisher". JD, one badge more and you make Lieutenant Commander!

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"THOU HAST LETTERED THY COMIC INCORRECTLY!"

TITLE: Thor V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 604.

CULPRIT: Joe Sabino (letterer) and/or Alejandro Arbona (assistant editor), Ralph Macchio & Warren Simmons (editors).

DISSECTION: The recent Thor one-shot had a preview of this issue, which, as usual, ended with "CONTINUED IN THOR #604"... but they left the "CONTINUED..." blurb on that page's art for this issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, CeeCee, I hate to call you on it, but Doctor Doom has brown eyes, not blue eyes.
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"THERE'S A RAT IN MY KITCHEN."

TITLE: X-Force V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: Annual #01.

CULPRIT: Jason Pearson (artist).

DISSECTION: Who the hell is that wererat?


Oh... it's supposed to be Wolfsbane. WOLFsbane, Pearson.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Fabian Cortez's hair is the wrong color.
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Well, that was a 6.3 Bazzars average on thirty-nine dissections, expectable. Now, I'm kinda rushing this, because I'm late already... here's the cover of the week:


Stunning cover to Thor #604 by Olivier Coipel, Mark Morales, and Laura Martin. Now, Moments Of The Week! First up, we learn how Jack Kirby escapes from Marvel for the second time:


Bwa-hah-hah!!! Next one is not that funny, but it still made me smile:


Well, he IS Fabio-esque. Now, Batman becomes invisible:


Sort of... that means Brucie is wearing his cape and mask only... what could be worse than that?


Well, a completely naked invisible Bruce Wayne, facing a naked skinless man in a dubious position!!! Now, I understand that it'd be good beefcake for the lady readers... but Batman should keep some of his dignity... and clothes... Next, the truth about The Great Darkness Saga:


Keith Giffen has a dartboard in his studio with a picture of Paul Levitz on it! And now, Heaven hopefully looks like this:


BOOGIE WONDERLAND!!! *disco dances around* Damn right! Or... Blessed right! And speaking of godly things...


It's time to teach you a lesson, Doom!!! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #48.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Kid... You're fired. We get back to Earth, you're demoted to Excalisuck or some damn team." Wolverine, to Armor, Astonishing X-Men V3 #23.

Alright, so this column is actually out on time; as I'm finishing it on early Wednesday morning when it's due on Thursday. Yet, all this rushing to get on track did make me forget that... this past Sunday, November 11th (not 12th, as I said a few weeks ago), was the column's second birthday!!! Yes, two years ago The Nitpicker's Column made it's first appearance, in issue #549 of the now sadly extinct Comic Book Electronic Magazine (or CBEM, for shorts, you can check the still read-worthy archive here).

Editor David LeBlanc generously accepted my offer of writing this new column, and said in his editorial, about the first one "The Emag is also on the move, ever-changing, ever-evolving. After the recent success of COMICS OBSCURA in our pages we were offered another new column which should prove a bit interesting. Some of you may react strongly - either agree or disagree with the analysis offered. My criteria is that it is on topic and written well. Check out THE NITPICKER starting this week and see if you have an opinion."

I, myself, opened the first column with "Hello, welcome to The Nitpicker's Column, where in a (hopefully) weekly basis I'll bring to your attention bring some mistakes, goofs, mix-ups and the like, that I find on the comics I read that week.". A lot has changed, like a converted Muslim, the column has a new name; that first installment didn't have a closing comment or Bazzar average; and of course, things like the Picks Of The Week, or the Quote Of The Week weren't even a glimmer in my eye. In fact, I was usually unable to keep a weekly schedule, and that first column only has 7 nits! What was I reading? Who was featured in that first column?

Well, there were Star Wars books, Infinite Crisis, House Of M, Warren Ellis, Greg Rucka, Brian Michael Bendis, and some guy name Haden Blackman, who I haven't heard of again, and frankly, I don't regret that, since I didn't like how he wrote Rogue Squadron. And on my own front? Well, let's say my writing style wasn't even half as good as the humble attempts at wordsmithing I do today, so it's kind of painful to read that column, in a sense. Thanks David, for that early shot at writing, and to Jeffery D. Sykes, editor of the Kryptonian Cybernet, where I published my first piece of comic criticism, a Silver Age Superman review.

A lot has changed in my life since that first Nitpicker, too. I've changed jobs, to a new, much better one; I've traveled to Australia, one of the places I've always wanted to visit; I've been offered to write in a couple of books; my son has grown up beautifully, and I've gained a sizeable amount of loyal readers. Enough reminiscing, I don't want to bore you all. I know I promised that this week we'd have a column with my favorite nits, but I just didn't have the time. If work is nice to me, I'll try to have the nominees to the Autopsy Awards for best dissections in each category for you, my faithful readers to vote on. Then, after a week or two of voting, by the end of the month, I'll publish a special column with the results of the Awards.

So, before going on with the column, I must admit that last week's dissection about Psylocke being in that X-Men pin-up wasn't as accurate as I'd like. Matías N., fellow writer from ICS.net pointed out that the Asian girl in that group shot is probably meant to be Armor (as evidenced by the haircut and sleeveless costume), who joined Cyclops' team in Astonishing X-Men. Still, if that's the case, Djurdjevic still goofed up when he colored her hair purple, when it's black. Furthermore, as Astonishing happens before the current storylines, Armor does not appear to be a part of the senior X-Men squads; and in fact, there have been a few indications that point to her once more being part of the younger team, the New X-Men. Badge for you, Matías.

With that out of the way, let me tell you that the Guvnor Paul C figured out (amidst several shots) that the problem with last column's Dissect This! was that Himmler's eyeballs are about the size of a human fist in one panel, then normal-sized in the following ones (and they had been normal in the pages and issues before). Good job Guvnor, here's another badge for ya! So, you want to know which are the Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Sure thing; best book of the week was without doubt All-New Atom #17, and it's about the second or third time this book is picked as best of the week; even those weeks where it wasn't, it was still of the top five reads.

Gail Simone doesn't miss a bit with her story, and when there's a fill-in, it's still entertaining and well-crafted. The same can be said about Mike Norton's art, simple but consistent, well inked by Trevor Scott, and superbly colored by Alex Bleyaert, who understands that "simple" does not mean "bland" or "insufferably bright:. This particular issue shows how human, young, and still naive (but at the same time believing in human potential) is Ryan Choi, and how jaded some of DC's older guard heroes have become. Read it, you'll like it.

The worst book is one that was already kind of bad with the first issue, and that unfortunately, doesn't show any signs of getting better. I'm talking about Infinity Inc. V2, with a confusing story by Peter Milligan, along with bad art from Max Fiumara & Travel Foreman, which makes the story even more difficult to follow, because it's hard to tell the difference between some characters. Add on top of that that Dom Regan's colors are really stomach-turning, and you've got yourself an awful comic. Alright, let's get on with this week's dissections, shall we?
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"WHO SAID THAT?"

TITLE: 2001 Maniacs Hornbook.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Uncredited letterer.

DISSECTION: This is not from a new book; or rather, it kind of is. A few months ago, Avatar published a preview book for 2001 Maniacs, with previews of the story, interviews, making of, etc. But on page ten of the book, second one of the story preview, they omitted one the character's speech balloons, and gave him another one's. See below:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"APOKOLIPS WILL DRESS YOU UP FOR SLAVE LABOR."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis.

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller).

DISSECTION: Well, I was beginning to fear that I would have no nits for this issue! But Matt Brady from Newsarama (another badge for him, not that he cares), for asking Adam Beechen and Mike Carlin the following: "Well, hey - there must be some labor - obviously, there must be some - he (Jimmy Olsen) was beaten out of his clothes in #26, and here he's fully dressed.", to which Beechen and Carlin responded, respectively "On Apokolips all molecules immediately become unstable." and "Ha-- or so that charlatan Professor Richards would have you believe!"

Yeah, keep sidestepping the questions guys. On a happier note, it seems, based on that same interview, that Giffen is still doing layouts. Perhaps he just missed a couple of issues of layouts (or at least complete layouts) and had to be billed only as story consultant.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"DISSECT IT... IN RED!"

TITLE: Countdown Presents The Search For Ray Palmer: Red Rain.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Kelley Jones, Eric Battle & Angel Unzueta (pencillers).

DISSECTION: I'm not familiar enough with styles of any of those pencillers to sort out who did what page (in fact, I don't think I'd ever heard of Battle before), but try to spot the pretty easy dissection in this page.


DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"VAMPIRES ARE NOT REAL!!!! COME, LET'S FLY THANKS MY ALMOST-MAGICALLY POWERED RING, YOU DARK AVENGER WHO CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

TITLE: Countdown Presents The Search For Ray Palmer: Red Rain.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Peter Johnson (writer).

DISSECTION: So, Jason Todd and Kyle Rayner, who each have more than enough experience with the supernatural, are attacked by long-fanged, point-eared, bestial-faced hobos, yet they don't believe they've found vampires? Right.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"SO MANY CRISIS(ES)!"

TITLE: The Dissector.

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I just caught myself doing this mistake when I was about to save the draft for this column (as if it was finished); and corrected it. However, I wondered, have I made this mistake in last column too? Turns out that yes, when talking about the worst book of the week, I called it "Countdown to INFINITE Crisis", when it should be "Final Crisis". Say, a question... do you think I should go back and correct my mistakes (when I notice them a good time after posting), or leave them as they are?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"METAL BALLOONS."

TITLE: Metal Men V4.

ISSUE: 04 of 08.

CULPRIT: Pat Brosseau (letterer).

DISSECTION: Gold's speech balloon on page 8 is wrongly placed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"SHE'S RIPPED."

TITLE: Midnighter.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Jon Landry (penciller).

DISSECTION: On the first panel of page 19, Midnighter rips off most of the front part of Rosie's shirt, leaving her breasts exposed, which she covers with her arms. Yet by the second to last panel of that page, her shirt covers all of her midriff, when there didn't seem to be enough fabric to do that. In fact, by the following page, we can see that she's tied up her shirt, leaving her midriff exposed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"I JUST QUICK-BOOM TUBED TO APOKOLIPS, AND GOT MY CLOTHES REGENERATED, LIKE JIMMY!"

TITLE: Midnighter.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Jon Landry (penciller).

DISSECTION: Same situation as above, Rosie's shirt's been torn to shreds by Midnighter from the collar down, yet on page 20 the only area of the garment that shows that level of deterioration is the knotted-up lower-half.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"HE. IS. ALFRED."

TITLE: Robin V2.

ISSUE: 168.

CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).

DISSECTION: Damian, Batman's son, is enough of a Ninja Badass (TM) to beat R'as' best guards, and to kick the snot out of Robin (twice), yet Alfred can sneak up on him AND push him?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"BADGERING."

TITLE: Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: Vulcans.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Josep Maria Beroy (penciller/inker).

DISSECTION: Most of the badges in the book don't have the department insignia, as it's usual for IDW's Star Trek books. I'm tired of this, as in fact, some characters are not even wearing badges at all at times. This comic was actually good, if nothing extraordinary.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"KAN'T KAUSE ME INKOVINIENCE WITH YOUR FAKE KRYPTONITE!"

TITLE: Superman V1.

ISSUE: 670.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: This was a better installment (and the final one) of the "Third Kryptonian" storyline, but Busiek has Superman, Supergirl, and Power Girl, all affected by synthetic Kryptonite flechettes, when Power Girl, as a denizen of Earth-2, should not be affected by this universe's Kryptonite.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. It might just be that this synth-K has less power, but a broader spectrum than real K.
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"IT'S A KITCHEN GLOVE."

TITLE: Superman V1.

ISSUE: 670.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller) and Alex Sinclair (colorist).

DISSECTION: Batman fights the guy hunting down Kryptonians, using the Fortress of Solitude's arsenal, and ends up wounded, and with his costume damaged, to the point of losing his left-hand glove. Yet on page 30, he's got some weird kind of red glove on his hand, but with blue "forearm spikes", when it had been show that he had lost his glove and sleeve almost up to the elbow.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. A red glove??!!?
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"PET PEEVE #1"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 492.

CULPRIT: Billy Tan (penciller).

DISSECTION: Beast.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"THIS IS OF NO USE TO S.H.I.E.L.D.."

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Uncredited writer.

DISSECTION: Several Marvel issues this last week included some bonus material, including a section of supposedly secret data that Nick Fury collected for use as leverage on the X-Men if he should need it. First of all, there's some information that's not "in character" data, such as X-Men references in a Weird Al song, or how Storm was originally conceived as a different character by Dave Cockrum. Those are pieces of information nick Fury could use as leverage, because to him, they're not even real.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"YEAH, SOME LEVERAGE."

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Uncredited writer.

DISSECTION: Some of the information, such as the fact that Wolverine's claws don't come out of any permanent holes but rather create wounds every time they are unsheathed, are not things that can be used as leverage of any kind.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"TONY, YOU DRUNK BASTARD, QUIT STEALING MY DESIGNS!"

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Uncredited writer.

DISSECTION: Now for a specifically factual error; the "file" says that Nightcrawler's image inducer was invented by Tony Stark, when it was actually designed by Charles Xavier (probably based on Sh'iar tech), and then built by Stark Enterprises.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WHO'S THAT MORPH?"

TITLE: Several Marvel titles released the week of 11-07.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Tom Grummett (writer of comments on his own sketches, since he'll be artist for New Exiles).

DISSECTION: Another section of the bonus material is character sketches and descriptions for the upcoming first issue of New Exiles (did we need another #1? No, we didn't... GAHHH!!!), and it includes a description of Morph, that says, among other things "MORPH is Morph.". but no, he's NOT Morph, he's actually a version Proteus that believes he's Morph, something Claremont had been ignoring in Exiles. He finally made a passing reference to him not being Morph in the most recent issue of "X-Men: Die By The Sword".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"ARTIE, HOW YOU'VE GROWN!"

TITLE: Infinity Inc. V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Dom Regan (colorist).

DISSECTION: In addition to how bad this book's been, on page 2, the psychologist's skin is colored a bright pink. Normal humans don't have that skin color.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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Short and sweet column that puts me up to date, and hopefully, I'll be able to spend the next days finishing the prep work for the Autopsy Awards (apart from reading this week's books, of course). The average was 6.6 Bazzars, not bad for such a short column (to be fair, there's a handful of books I haven't received yet). As mentioned before, soon (on Sunday, most likely) I'll post the nominees for the categories that are up for vote. Before I forget, here's the Moment Of The Week, which is actually kind of retro, as it comes from the Jimmy Olsen special DC released with Jack Kirby stories from Jimbo's own book. Check it out, it's a creature genetically engineered from Jimmy's DNA, some gamma rays, and the King's own eyebrow-DNA!


That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Nitpicker #39.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Tell my head wife I have love her head very much!" Head, in All New Atom #15, to which Panda Potter (aka Atom V) responds "She knows, Head. She knows."

Man, can a David Bowie reference get me, or what? I say this because of the quote of the week, of course, from that delightfully excellent book that All New Atom is... but more on that later. Truth is that Xander Harris' quote about Kurt Russell almost won first spot, but I decided this one was better, even more than Head's "DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!" in the same issue.

Sorry this column is late; but it's been hectic at work, and I'm thinking next week's will be late too, so be prepared. Last week's STN was guessed basically at the same time by Dominik B. over at ICS, and Miss Kitty Fantastico at my blog. So, here's a badge for each of you guys. Let's see how you do this week, shall we?

One thing I'd like to tell you this week, is that I've decided to moderate my ratings. I've been too trigger happy on the Bazzars, when at first I only gave out ratings of 10 when things affected plot; then I began giving them out for repeated offenses; and then, just for anything that annoyed the hell out of me... Some things (like Beast's feet) will keep getting a 10, but I'll try to take it easy on some of the other stuff, as some of my readers have suggested. Thanks!

As I said, more on All New Atom: issue #15 is one of the funniest, and entertaining comics I've read on some time. Gail Simone shows that you can write comedy in superhero books, and not be silly; while at the same time having a progressing storyline that actually matters. This is one of the best books around, and the best one Simone is currently writing. While I'm not particularly fond of the art, it's adequate, and the depicting of fantastic elements (such as monsters or aliens) is wonderful, simply but effectively designed.

The worst book of the week is Lucha Libre... I had hopes for that book, because the cover art reminded me of Mexican paintings, with Day of the Dead and Diego Rivera influences in the coloring... and once I read it, it was just like a painting: still, without movement. The story was flat, unoriginal, and boring, and the articles on Mexican wrestling were shallow and uninformed. There's some peddling of some action figures pretentiously dubbed "art-toys", which seem to have been produced before the comics, since they're already on sale, and this makes you feel like you just read a brochure for toys, and not a comic.

Also, there's no clear credits in the book; I want to know who did what, particularly in a book by (at least to me) unknown creators. The only hint of credits is the cover, which cryptically reads "Bill, Tanquerelle, Fabien M., Gobi, Witko, Jerry Frissen"... so.... who's a writer, who's a penciller, who's an inker... who did what? Image's site is only slightly less cryptic, reading "story JERRY FRISSEN, art BILL, GOBI, FABIAN M, WITKO, TANQUERELLE, cover BILL", but seeing that there's a central story, and two separate comic strips, as well as some mock covers of fake old issues, it would be nice to say who did what, for the readers' benefit, and to properly credit the creators.

A signature here and there in the art let's you know that, for example, the "Los Luchadorítos" strip was done by Tanquerelle, back in 2006, the same year some Witko and Iñes (I know the name Inés, but not Iñes) Vargas made the Profesor Furia ones, the later not being mentioned elsewhere. I must say, that there is something salvageable from this book (but not enough to buy it), and it's aforementioned the strips, "Profesor Furia" and "Los Luchadorítos", particularly the last one which seems written by someone who does understand the spirit of Mexican lucha libre.

Before going on to this week's nit, I must retract from last column's nit about Wonder Woman not being able to do "the twirly thing" to change back and forth from her "working clothes". Reader Shad says "Diana has been able to do this since late in the Phil Jimenez run. Jimenez never really explained it, but he did introduce it in one of the periods where things were going well for the Amazons and it wouldn't be unreasonable for the gods to grant Diana a minor new power as a thank you for her good work..." Phil Jimenez, precursor of bringing back idiocies of ages past... Thank Shad, I stand corrected, and although I don't feel like doing the math now, last column's average doesn't change significantly.
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"JUST LIKE A SHERIFF'S STAR."

TITLE: All New Atom.

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Mike Norton (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) has a chest emblem that's too small.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"MOVING OLD LADIES AROUND."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: My thoughts on the beginning of the much-hyped One More Day? Lackluster, with a story that could have been told in five pages and use the rest to actually advance the plot, and art that shows that Quesada should either draw, or be EiC, not both at the same time. Not to mention the fact that there's people like Elixir, of the New X-Men, who could heal May (but no, why be cohesive within your own universe?) The only good part? The fight between Iron Man and Spidey.

It also has the sappiest, most corniest, and lamest quote I've ever seen: "Tune your ear to the frequency of despair, and cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony." Ugh.... Oh, and it's got nits, starting with the fact that Peter says to himself on page four that they moved Aunt May from the hospital she was at to make sure nobody finishes the job (of killing her). Pete, 'fess up, you did it so you wouldn't go to jail and could still visit her.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"YEAH, I JUST CARRY IT AROUND WITH ME..."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Joe Quesada (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: A sympathetic doctor offers to cover up for MJ and Pete, because his uncle was saved by Spider-Man some years ago... and he just happens to carry around the entire newspaper with the front page of Peter's unmasking, instead of a clipping.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Before my attempt at controlling myself, I would have given this 7 or 8 Bazzars...
<-------------------------------->
"NOBODY WILL SUSPECT!"

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: So, Peter goes to Tony Stark for money, but the playboy tells him that he can't help him without having the help traced back to him, which would ruin all he's worked for, since Peter is a federal fugitive. Surely Tony can whip up some money-laundering plan, with his business savvy, technological abilities and resources; and superpowers, can't he? Yes! His sooper-intelligent plan is to deposit over two million bucks in... his butler Jarvis' account, and send him to pretend being May's cousin.... brilliant, because that can't be traced back to you at all Tony!

Not a nit per se, but why does Spidey change back to his blue and red costume again, without no explanation, when there's no change in the situation (or at least, no change for good) that made him ho back in black? Has the Spider-Man 3 movie DVD been released already?

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. You see, this would have easily been a 10 Bazzars if I wasn't attempting to control my impulses.
<-------------------------------->
"AN HOUR OR TWO, GIVE OR TAKE."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper, Mike Fichera & Al Sjoerdsma (profile writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: Spider-Man's artificial webs have traditionally been said to dissolve after about an hour; but now, according to this profile (and Marvel.com), they dissolve after two hours... or one to two hours, if you look at Marvel.com's profile for the web shooters...

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, the one-hour time limit has been pretty well established, as much as they want to ignore it now.
<-------------------------------->
"FABULOUS COLOR-CHANGING HAIR!"

TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: So, on page 2, when the story opens, Oliver Queen's hair (or at least his facial hair) is blond, basically the same shade as Black Canary's (not her facial hair). Then on page five, it's orange, obviously a completely different color than Canary's. Then on page six, it becomes yellow again, only to turn orange again on page eleven, and for the rest of the book.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. It'd get less, but the fact that they didn't keep it consistent within the same issue makes it go up.
<-------------------------------->
"SPOT AWAY!"

TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Look at this page, and tell me what you see. It's subtle, so beware. Oh, and guys, enjoy the cheesecake.


NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars (it's again a matter of intra-issue consistency).
<-------------------------------->
"JAZZ HANDS? NO, JAZZ BEARD!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 51 through 42.

CULPRIT: All pencillers who worked in those issues.

NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by Illustr8r on Newsarama, and then I did all the legwork to put numbers on it. Back when the Piper/Trickster storyline started, which was actually in "Flash, The Fastest Man Alive", Piper sported a pair of sunglasses as part of his costume, and a goatee. Those issues overlap with the first few issues of Countdown, but when we see him there, he has no beard, and wears no sunglasses. Up until issue 42, when he jumps out of an airplane with Trickster (or actually, Trickster makes both of them jump, since they're chained together), he has no sunglasses, and no beard.

Then comes issue 41, and in the cover, we see that Piper as, in mid-air, grown back his beard and put on his sunglasses (actually, his chin is not visible on the cover). This was actually due to the pencillers on the cover and interiors of this issue (Terry Dodson and Dennis Calero, respectively) actually looking at how a character should look, the oversight of their predecessors on Countdown not withstanding. Still, as you'll see in the next nits, they not free of blame.

So, Piper gets his beard back, and we actually see him loose the glasses while he falls down to earth. He walks out of the water and onto Gotham City's harbor still wearing his beard. However, by next issue, having walked only a few blocks (I assume, but still, no time to shave) to arrive at the Iceberg Lounge, he again has no beard. Illustr8r said "Whoever's overseeing artistic continuity in this series should be shot..." No Illustr8r, you can't shoot somebody who doesn't exist... because there's nobody overseeing artistic continuity in Countdown... by the way, you've won yourself an HNSC badge!

NIT-O-METER: I'll give this 8 Bazzars, but won't repeat it since during their brief stay at the Iceberg Lounge, Piper might have had time to shave. Furthermore, if somebody decides to draw him with a beard, I won't consider it a nit, unless they do what you can read below, or some editor claims Piper shaved.
<-------------------------------->
"JAZZ BEARD, TAKE TWO."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, Calero did draw Piper almost the right way. Almost. Piper's beard was a full goatee in "Flash...", but in this issue of Countdown it's barely a large soul patch.

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, yes, he could have trimmed it...
<-------------------------------->
"TRICKSTER, QUIT PLAYING WITH MY SHADES!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, explain this one Calero! On pages 2 and 3 we can see Piper's beard and glasses, but on the first panel of page 4 he doesn't have the glasses (and we can't see his chin), only to have them on panel 2, so they can fall of him on panel 4

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARY'S HEELS? NOT THIS TIME."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34 and various issues.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller for issues 34 and others), and pencillers for other issues.

NIT-TO-PICK: Another one spotted by Newsarama readers; this time it's leahcim (yes, no capital "l"), who also gets a HNSC badge. Donna Troy's heels come and go, though not as blatantly as Mary Marvel's, since they change between normal boot heels (not stilettos) and flat-soled boots.

You know what I have a problem with this issue? The fact that Kyle Rayner appears de-Parallaxed, and they say, unnecessarily, that the story takes place after Green Lantern #23... when Kyle finishes that GL issue still under Parallax' control. I don't think many people believe Kyle was going to stay Parallax-ed, but still...

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JIMMY'S GROWN."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 5, John Henry "Steel" Irons is running some tests on Jimmy Olsen. Problem is, Jimmy seems taller (or the same height, if you allow for skewed perspective) than John. John Henry Iron's is 6'8", and Jimmy is somewhere between 5'7" and 6'2" (I don't believe the latter account), from what I've found around the web. Does anyone have Superman Secret Files & Origins (1998) laying around? That's where Jimmy's latest profile (including height) is, according to some research.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I'M JUST FOLLOWING KYLE'S LEAD."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Mary Marvel's lightning bolt is drawn too small on her uniform on page 15.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEEL MY CRY!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Mary's stilettos are gone again.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW TECHNOLOGY, NEW SPELLING."

TITLE: Doktor Sleepless.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer) or unnamed letterer.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, panel 3, it says "dialling" instead of "dialing".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"BABY BLUES."

TITLE: Exiles.

ISSUE: 98.

CULPRIT: Wil Quintana (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Psylocke's eyes are colored blue on page 24, instead of purple.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, because they keep it up.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT EVERYMAN."

TITLE: Infinity Inc. V2.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Milligan says that Lex Luthor, through his Everyman Project, "manipulated the metagenes of countless teens"; when it was all kinds of people, from teens to middle-aged men and women (Immortal-Man-In-Baldness, anyone?).

As for the book's name, the old series said "Infinity Inc." on the cover, but "Infinity, Inc" in the indicia (which is what I try to go by); however, I'm inclined to consider this new comic a second volume of the same book.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE FAMOUS, SO WHO CARES HOW WE SPELL IT?"

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: There's an Italian restaurant called "Giuseppe's Famoso Sausages"; "famoso" means "famous", but only when applied to male nouns, and "sausages" in Italian is a female noun (yes, nouns in languages other than English have genders), so "famosa" (or actually "famosas", since it's plural) would apply.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT A MAGNIFICENT RESTRAUNT!"

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Francis Manapul & Joel Gomez (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: The sign above the restaurant says "sausges" instead of "sausages".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M TOO SHORT TO KEEP TRACK OF TIME."

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 18, Big Daddy says it's been six months since Michael Iron disappeared, but according to Angel a few pages before, it was only three months.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'RE KIND OF EMBARASSED OF THAT CHARACTER..."

TITLE: Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: Scott Allie introduces artist Jason Armstrong in the letters page, saying that among his works are "Marvel's Doc Thunder"; when Armstrong's creator-owned Doc Thunder was published by Dark Horse.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's the company you work for!
<-------------------------------->
"YO SER LUCHADOR!"

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: By now you already know what I think of this book, so, let me tell you about the nits it's got. For starters, on page ten, King Karate uses a wrestling move on an opponent which he calls "la suastica", which probably was meant to be "la esvástica", which means "swastika" in Spanish (since the guy's body ends up looking like one).

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MASTER OF LANGUAGES!"

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 29, one of the short stories of Profesor Furia, the title is "Maître du Monde"; which is translated as "Master of the Universe" in English, and "Maestro del Mundo" in Spanish. Well, this is a double nit, because "monde" means "world" in French, not "Universe", and "maestro" in Spanish means "teacher"; if you want to say "master" you need to say "señor" or "amo".

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, two separate counts.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SILVER MASKED MAN... WITH A RED MASK..."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Uncredited graphic designer for article pages.

NIT-TO-PICK: On article on pages 30 and 31, photos of El Santo have his mask colored red; when it was silver. I mean, his nickname was "The Silver Masked Man"!

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could have been some bizarrely colored version of his movies; but if you're going to do an article on Mexican wrestling, you should know better.
<-------------------------------->
"SWORN ENEMY ON WEEKENDS, RIVALS ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS, FRIENDS THE REST OF THE WEEK."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Blue Demon is referred to as El Santo's "sworn enemy"; when they were rivals (but not enemies) on the ring, and friends on the movies (although when the masks were off, they weren't really friends).

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSICAL ERROR."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the same article, Mexican TV channel "De Película Clásico" is called "De Pelicula Classico".

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T COMPRENDO SPANISH."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: In another Profesor Furia story, on page 33, it says "comprede" instead of "comprende". "Comprende" is "did you understand?" in Spanish.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KAHN'T SPELL."

TITLE: Metal Men V4.

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer) or Pat Brosseau (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Kahn says, on panel 3 of page 13, "praktical" instead of "practical".

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"010110010100111101010101001000
000100010001001111010011100010
011101010100001000000101001101
01000001000101010000010100101
10010000001001101010000010100
001101001000010010010100111001
00010100100000010011000100000
1010011100100011101010101010000
01010001110100010100100001"

TITLE: Metal Men V4.

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Rouleau tries to be clever by having U.N.I.O.N. speak in binary code, however, all his binary is flawed. I can't read binary (I'm one of those people, yes), but I knew it didn't sound right, so I checked it out. You can translate to and from binary here, among other places, and you'll see that whatever string of ones and zeros not divisible by eight is not binary. It takes more than senselessly sticking together some 1s and 0s to write Binary, and Rouleau could have spent five minutes on the web researching before doing it.

By the way, here's how you write MaGnUs in binary: 01001101011000010100
0111011011100101010101110011. Neat!

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, consider this a mathematical variation of my "other languages" peeve.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE!"

TITLE: New Warriors V4.

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller) and Marte Gracia (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: This is a fun book, which is a surprise to me since I found Underworld (the movie written by this books scribe, Kevin Grevioux) unbelievably boring. I wonder who Night Trasher is, Dominik B. think he might be the Black Panther, but I think that'd be too obvious.

However good, the book is not devoid of nits. Angel Salvadore (now using the name Tempest) is shown as having basically the same skin tone as her husband, the former Beak; but he's white and she's supposed to be black. I'm not going into her figure, because she could have lost weight and all, but I will complain about her features, which don't look African American to me.

I know some people are complaining about Beak (now Blackwing); that he looks to hunky, I say his de-mutation could have made him go back to looking better, less birdlike, that what he looked like when he first lost his X-gene. The muscles, though, are a bit too much; I think they should draw him with a more birdlike body, kind of like Angel (Warren Worthington) over at X-Men: First Class.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BY THE POWER OF THE CROTCH-X!"

TITLE: New Warriors V4.

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Speaking of X-Men: First Class, Night Trasher and his second-in-command, Wondra (Jubilation Lee, with a codename that sounds like a portmanteau of "Wonder Bra") are reviewing team strategies on page sixteen. They're looking at what seems to be footage of the original X-Men in their early years (strangely, Angel is nowhere to be seen, perhaps he's out of camera), and what uniforms are they wearing? The ones from X-Men: First Class!!!

Now, this is my proof of the fact that Marvel is slowly trying to force First Class as the X-Men's early adventures in 616! However, as long as they don't come out and specifically say that that's their intention, I will consider the use of these costumes a nit.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M STILL THE HUGGERNAUT, BITCH!"

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 23.

CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Jeremy, did you remember to check that the Juggernaut, as big as he is, is still human sized? That his height is 6'01", and Dazzler's is 5'8"? And that therefore, she should not two feet shorter than him, nor the size of one of his arms? Yes, it could be that since reclaiming (sort of) the power of the Juggernaut, he's grown larger, but his teammates would have noticed it.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. This would have been an 8 under my new moderation policy, but since Haun's a repeating offender, he gets a higher rating.
<-------------------------------->
"THE NITPICKER V2 OR V3?"

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 37 and others.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer)

NIT-TO-PICK: I've been calling labeling Astonishing X-Men as V2, when it's V3. Thanks to TokerTheKid for spotting this, here's a HNSC badge for him.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LIKE KYLE OR MARY, I DON'T WANT THE EMBLEM TO DISTRACT PEOPLE FROM MY PECS."

TITLE: Outsiders V3.

ISSUE: 50 (and next month, it'll be Batman And The Outsiders #1 (V2, of course)... did we really need a new issue one?).

CULPRIT: Matthew Clark & Ron Randall (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 21, Batman's chest emblem is an itty-bitty tiny bat, only for it to look regular-sized by the next page. Besides I wish they'd make up their minds, does batman wear a black cowl and cape, or is it blue?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE-HULK SMASHES MEASUREMENTS!"

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Rick Burchett (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Well, I won't write a review on this issue, and since it was, technically, well-written and with adequate art, I didn't pick it as the worst book of the week (plus, nothing was as bad as Lucha Libre), but I think the plot device of a parallel reality's people coming to live as their superheroic or villainous counterparts, used to explain stuff like She-Hulk sleeping with Juggernaut was, at best, lazy.

My problem with this book started (granted, I've never actually followed it) when they started using real-world Marvel comics as court evidence. I can appreciate a comedy book, but if they have to break the fourth wall every two panels, then it doesn't belong in continuity with the rest of the 616 Marvel universe. I take my continuity very seriously; I can accept separate continuities like Ultimate or Adventures, and even funny books like this one or even non-comedy books like Mythos, and accept them as good comics.

However, one of the things I like the most about DC and Marvel is the fact that most of their books happen within one single, huge (and yes, sometimes retconed or even rebooted) continuity. You can do comedy while working within continuity (JLI, anyone? Or the current Atom book?). I honestly feel that books like She-Hulk, if intended as part of that big continuity, take away from it, and diminish its impact. Of course, I could always ignore them, as I've done for the most part with She-Hulk, but when they start undoing stuff done in other books, that's when it matters to me.

I know people hated Chuck Austen's run on Uncanny X-Men, I didn't hate it that much (except for the Nightcrawler-is-half-demon part). In fact, the whole journey of Juggernaut into Huggernaut was actually pretty believable, and the scene where he and She-Hulk do the horizontal mambo was really a good part from that storyline...

Anyhoooo... I digress, and mucho... Miss Kitty Fantastico gets a badge for spotting this particular nit (which I'll get to in a moment, all the above was just a rant, and MKF will most likely hate me for). On page 5 the She-Hulk from Earth A (616 would be Earth B to them) is, according to her mugshot when arrested, 7'9". Jennifer Walters in her She-Hulk is actually 6'7" (and this is supposed to be 616 Shulkie's exact duplicate).

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BIG HOUSE, SMALL COMFORTS."

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers) and/or Rick Burchett (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: You know what else I hate about this book? No, don't worry, I won't subject you to another rant (for now). This is just another nit. Mallory Book is speaking over the phone with Titania, who's in The Big House. The Big House is a shrunken prison for villains, created by Hank Pym; who has, I assume, all the necessary "comforts" to house inmates and guards, yet Titania is shown using a normal sized phone. Why wouldn't they have tiny phones? And why do the ants walking around seem about half the size of the phone receiver?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OF COURSE YOU THINK IT'S PERMANENT REED, YOU CAN'T CURE YOUR BEST FRIEND."

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: She-Hulk, for the past issues, and now Mister Fantastic, go on and on about how the nanites Tony Stark shot Jen with to take her powers away are permanent... yet twice now, once by Amadeus Cho, and once by Stark, the nanites have been rendered inoperative for a period of time, however short. They're obviously not permanent.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GET IT RIGHT DAMMIT!"

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Tom Brevoort (editor) and/or Molly Lazer (assistant editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: I found this one while checking the credits to write the nits above. Once more, one of the senior partners of the firm She-Hulk works at is spelled "Kurtzburg" instead of "Kurtzberg". Get it right people! He's named after Jack Kirby, and his real last name was Kurtzberg, not Kurtzburg!!!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it's a repeat offense, about the third time they do this...
<-------------------------------->
"FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH."

TITLE: Supergirl V6.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller/colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Ma and Pa Kent look too young (again), and nothing like they do in Action Comics, published the week before.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars is what this gets, both for being a repeat offense, and for not even matching other books published almost at the same time.
<-------------------------------->
"MY MASTER PLAN!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 490.

CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: James Proudstar's plan is to remove the inhibitor collar from Leech, rendering the Morlocks powerless; but he neglects to mention that he'll be powerless too.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, he could be not mentioning that on purpose so Hepzibah doesn't worry about him.
<-------------------------------->
"WHA?"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 490.

CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the credits for the Endangered Species story, colorist Raúl Treviño's first name is incorrectly given as having the tilde on the "R", something that's not only wrong, but impossible.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Wow... my moderation policy has clearly affected the average this week, with a 4.9 Bazzars. I'm speechless, so I'll just show you this week's WTF? moment. It's from All New Atom 15, and it's, brace yourself, two Godzillaesque monsters making out:


There's a second WTF? moment, one I couldn't allow to pass. From The Boys #10, here's Tek-Knight humping a meteorite. Yes, exactly what you read, it's a meteorite with a fleshy orifice and he... well.... I can't think about it anymore:


Sweet dreams. That's it for now, until next week (maybe late this week), I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

0101010001001000010001010010000001
00111001001001010101000101000001001
00101000011010010110100010101010010!

The Nitpicker #32.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

Sorry this column is a couple of days late, it's just that... you know what? I was going to keep apologizing, but nah, I spent some time reading comics instead of writing it, and there's nothing to apologize for. Not like I actually get paid for this thing....

This week's column, now that we're back to our weekly schedule (what's a couple of days late, huh?), marks the end of my vacation. I go back to work on Monday, and boy, I don't want to. Like I have a choice... this week's column is certainly loaded with stuff, not really on nit amount (15), but on text. Yes, part of it is quoted from somewhere else, but I wrote me up some nice nits too.

Before we go on to the nits, I just came up with a new feature that I'll do weekly. Nitpicker's Picks Of The Week! What's that? Well, nothing less than the best and worst comic I read the week before. In this case, the worst book I read last week was Superman/Batman #38. While it wasn't as bad as previous issues have been, it's still a boring book. Why do I read it? God only knows. And the best book last week was Knights Of The Dinner Table #129, a book that never fails to satisfy me, and this week's issue was chockfull of funny moments and plot advancement.

Let's go on with the nits, shall we?
<-------------------------------->
"COUNTDOWN TO CONTINUITY!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 41 (I'm tired of this little "yup" or "you know it" game...), but it's actually the whole series so far.

CULPRIT: Mike Carlin & Mike Marts (editors) and Jeanine Schaefer & Elisabeth Gehrlein (assistant editors).

NIT-TO-PICK: The continuity fuck ups (because there's other no way to call them) that happen in Countdown never seem to cease. I think it's a good book, with very inconsistent art, but still good. The art is something that should get better once Giffen starts in the book, and it does, as we can see in issue 40, is first full one (he did some breakdowns in issue 41, but refused to be credited). It's taking more time for the book to shape up, longer than it did for 52, but I still think it's a good read, although changes need to be made.

The changes I'd make would be cutting back on inserting scenes referring to other storylines from all over the DC Universe. Karate Kid stopping by to see Batman when he supposedly couldn't even walk after taking a glancing blow from the lightning; even his earlier scenes with other legionnaires and Red Arrow were completely unnecessary. The Bart Allen funeral is also out of sync with the rest of the DC Universe, there was no need to do it in this book instead of in Flash, JLA or Titans...

These things are what cause the largest continuity problems, showing a complete scene, where a simple reference, a comment by a character, would do. If you didn't waste pages and pages on those needless scenes, you could use those pages to tell the stories that are actually specific to Countdown (Mary Marvel, Piper and Trickster, Jimmy Olsen, etc).

Removes those scenes, and not only you get the extra pages for the Countdown-specific stories, but you can work the continuity better. To mention the worst fuck up, the Amazons attack on the US can't be taking two months, yet it's shown as happening during this week of Countdown, and it was first shown in Countdown 47. Superman would be out there, giving a 150% to save lives and stop the war... and even if by any chance he didn't have his powers, he'd be out there as Clark Kent, reporting on the war. But no, Clark Kent is lounging in the Daily Planet's offices, making jokes about global warming.

The coloring errors on Monarch's face, Holly Robinson's hair length, even the horrible art, all those things can be forgiven. But the continuity fuck ups are simply outrageous, and when the book's editors (namely Mike Carlin) are asked about this by Matt Brady, from Newsarama, they just brush the questions aside, in a way that's even insulting.

Matt Brady is usually accused of brown-nosing creators and editors of the comic publishing companies, particularly Joe Quesada of Marvel, and although he sometimes seems to ask only the questions that the interviewee approves of, it's mostly a matter of him having cordial relations with these people. In this case, however, he completely did away with the brown-nosing accusations, and completely grilled Mike Carlin. He was so on-point, that I couldn't do less than quote fragments of the interview here:

Newsrama: Fair enough. Back to that point about the editor's boxes – as it was revealed on the news, Amazons took down the President's plane? Where did that happen? Why isn't there a pointer for readers to find it?

Mike Carlin: Countdown won't match every week but do check out Amazons Attack this month.

NRAMA: Timing things out, it's on the news as a recap, so it's already happened, and Clark is just sweating the day away in the Daily Planet? Can we discuss how time is presented throughout this series? Is everything that we saw, scene-by-scene meant to be taken...at least...sequentially? It seems like this raises more issues that it settles - the Amazons are attacking and killing people, yet we see Clark Kent...just hanging out? It seems that, by inaction, he's at most endorsing, and at least, allowing the Amazon's actions...

MC: It's on the news later in the issue... you really should give things some minute-to-minute time to unfold, no? This is an age old problem in a shared universe, though, why doesn't Superman intervene in every issue of Blue Beetle or Birds of Prey or everywhere in all titles...

Sometimes when all is said and done, you can piece your year of all DC publications-- and figure a kinda place for everything...

or you can just relax and enjoy the comic you're reading!

(...)

NRAMA: Yeah, but still - Clark's blase attitude while his adopted country is under attack and its citizens dying due to a friend's nation kind of goes to the larger question - what's the mood like in the DCU now? Sure, readers can see the larger threads, but does the average hero (okay, aside from Batman) realize anything big and bad is going on?

MC: Again... at least let the timing in the issue you're reading dictate when things are happening...even Superman can't predict the news!

Newsarama Note: The effects of Amazons Attack were first seen in Countdown 47, which, if going by the original explanation of time in this series, suggest that the Amazons have been attacking the U.S. for over a month. We still wonder how Clark can justify sitting around, but we’ll move on.

NRAMA: Speaking of that "sense of something going on" something that was a hallmark of 52 was it's separate plot threads that, despite many readers' predictions, remained virtually separate through the entire story. Given the canvas is much larger for this story, will we be seeing that happen in Countdown, or will storylines weave in and through each other and reach their own conclusions?

MC: These stories will criss-cross and meld to the end... at least the threads that don't end suddenly-- and tragically! Here's a way to look at Countdown... it's not 52. 52 covered a lost year-- 52 literal weeks. Countdown is several stories that play out in their own time... not a year's worth in the DCU.

Nothing that happens in the DCU happens in real time... Lois & Clark have known each other for maybe 8 or 9 years in real time-- but they've celebrated twenty Christmas issues since 1986 alone!

If you think about it too much you will die!

NRAMA: Okay, well that’s one way to handle it. Again, back to the editor's box comments - the Karate Kid scene...when we last saw him in Countdown, he was fine. Nothing bad happened. Now, they're carrying him...what happened, when, and where?

MC: Dude, give up on the editors' boxes.

NRAMA: Never. Thing is, if you're going to say that Countdown #42 was before “The Lightning Saga,” and this scene in #41 was after, that doesn't wash, as All-Flash #1 showed clearly that Wally got back within an hour of Bart dying - but we already saw Bart's funeral in #43...which Wally apparently skipped out on for his own reasons. Time and events can be fluid, sure, but the events don’t seem to be matching up to the actual books that have been published. So what's the order of events here?

MC: Good thing I didn't say "Countdown #42 was before “The Lightning Saga"...honestly the whole universe is-- and has to be-- fluid... some things do happen off camera. And in the super-hero biz you sometimes end up getting carried.

But, frankly, it looks to me like buddies trying to hustle to a small opening-- and Karate Kid is standing pretty firmly for the rest of the page. Not like he was on a stretcher suddenly!

Newsarama Note: Not to nit pick Mike, specifically, but in discussing Countdown #43, he said “So it’s my vote that this happened before Wally was back,” speaking of the funeral, while All-Flash #1 showed that Bart died and Wally returned within the same hour.

Likewise, the “carrying” of Karate Kid is a recreation of the scene from JLA #10, where Kid’s teammates were helping him to walk due to the injuries suffered when Wally came back – time, apparently is very fluid - the Karate Kid scene is happening at one time, the Piper/Trickster at another (stemming out of them attending Bart's funeral) at another, and the Amazons' activities at a third.

So, for his work, I've awarded Matt Braddy the first ever Honorary Nitpicker Scout badge!


NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. It could not be lower.
<-------------------------------->
"JIMMY OLSIN, SUPERHERO."

TITLE: Action Comics.

ISSUE: 852.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, as part of a scene mirroring one from Countdown 42, Lois Lane catches Jimmy Olsen sketching costume designs, and she calls him on the corny names, but in this issue she says "Human Porcipine" instead of "Porcupine".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, just a typo... my my, how long ago has it been since we had a 1 Bazzar nit?
<-------------------------------->
"AND TONY STARK IS THOR!"

TITLE: Avengers Classic.

ISSUE: 02 ("The Avengers Battle The Space Phantom", story originally printed Avengers V1 02, 1963).

CULPRIT: Stan Lee (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: I must say that it pains me to no end to feature Stan "The Man" Lee in this column as a culprit for the first time... But somebody has to do the ugly work, and that somebody is yours truly. On page 10, panel 1, Rick Jones tries to calm down the Hulk, in that old dance that has been going on for more than 40 years. However, Rick must not be a very good friend, because he says "(...) make sure you're able to turn back to Doctor Don Blake (...)" Uuh.... Rick, my man... Don Blake is Thor's alter ego, I think you were looking for Dr. Bruce Banner...

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Stan, I'm sorry, but if it had been later in the history of the Marvel Universe, I would have let it go, but this early on, this would have confused readers to no end.
<-------------------------------->
"GAMMA MUTATIONS AMOK!"

TITLE: Avengers Classic.

ISSUE: 02 ("The Avengers Battle The Space Phantom", story originally printed Avengers V1 02, 1963).

CULPRIT: Jack Kirby (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Oh my God!!! I mean, "Oh Hashem!", since it's King Kirby I'm nitpicking on now. I'm really sorry Jack, but you left yourself wide open to this one... Hulk, from the first page of the story, up until page 14 is portrayed as having three toes on each foot.

Now, this, as well as his original grey color, and his intelligence (while he wasn't Banner smart, he wasn't all Hulk smash, he spoke in complete sentences), all those changes, can, and probably have been, chalked up to the gamma mutation process. However, on page 14 he has four toes, until the end of the story... come on Jack, where you multitasking? See below for the comparison.


NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for blatancy.
<-------------------------------->
"FLUID SEATING."

TITLE: Black Canary V3.

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Paulo Siqueira (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: This book is off to a good start, with both a look at Green Arrow and Black Canary's early interactions, and Black Canary's life today with her adopted daughter, Sin. Tony Bedard, who is a competent writer at the very least (his Exiles and Legion of Super-Heroes, while not as good as Winick's and Waid's, are enjoyable) spins the tale, while penciller Paulo Siqueira provides beautiful art, in conjunction with inker Amilton Santos.

Like most of their fellows in this recent Brazillian invasion of the American comics scene (I assume they are Brazillian from their names, and it's doubtful they're not), they can draw some very hot women (Ed Benes, anyone?), and when they draw faces, you can actually tell someone's age (look at the page below, number 14, and you'll see the teenaged Speedy, the child Sin, and the adult, somewhat mature, Green Arrow).


However, not all is perfect... and remember when I sometimes mention that I take note of a page in a book I'm reading because it has a nit and then forget what it was? I've started putting a note about what the nit is about next to the page number... but apparently, I don't do it always, and when it's not obvious, I can read and re-read the page over and over, looking over the art and trying to spot that little detail I spotted the first time I read it.

In this case, I got nothing... or at least, what I found I'm certain is not what I found the first time, and it's not something I'd caught reading this book (I really don't obsess over each page trying to find a nit, they just become apparent to me). Look at the page below carefully, you'll see, in panel one (which is kind of a juxtaposition of two images, or rather, the background is not complete to let us center on Ollie and Dinah), and you'll see the two adults are sitting on one side of the table, and the teen and child on the opposite side across the table.

Ollie's left arm, the one with his watch on the wrist, is on the far side from the table. That holds true for the next panel, and we can see the two girls still on the opposite side of the table, with Ollie's right arm facing them. The "camera" shifts for panel 3 and 4, and you can see Ollie facing the reader. It's quite clear that they're all still seated in the same positions, however, on panel 5, Sin tugs Ollie's sleeve (and I just found a different nit, more on that on the following entry) and all of a sudden she, and the table are to his left, watch on his wrist and all.

And no, it's not that Siqueira drew the watch on the wrong arm, because on panel 6 you can see Ollie facing Sin, and from the way the seating arrangement was show on the first panel, you can see facing her like that would be impossible, they are now seating next to each other. Even in panel 5 you can see Sin and Ollie "sharing" one corner of the table, when Ollie was sitting directly across Speedy, and Sin across Dinah.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it's not story-affecting, and it's not blatant, but it's a show of sloppiness on Siqueira's part, when he can't even keep track of the seating arrangement for one single page.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S SPANDEX, WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT?"

TITLE: Black Canary V3.

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Paulo Siqueira (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Look at the page again, you'll see that Ollie's shirt has very short sleeves (nice guns man!) that end about three inches down from his shoulder, and is tight; but when Sin tugs at his sleeve, it reaches his elbow.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR-SHIFTING BLING!"

TITLE: Black Canary V3.

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist)... International League Of 'Luminators?

NIT-TO-PICK: I just found a third nit while going over the seating arrangement thing, looking at page 13, Ollie's watch and Dinah's bracelet are silver, and Sin's shirt is a very light blue. Then on page 14, the one above, the jewelry is golden, and Sin's shirt is distinctly white. This is what happen when you need more than one person to color a single issue...

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLOW THAT FUNKY BUGLE!"

TITLE: Marvel Illustrated: Treasure Island.

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Hard, read below, but I'm saying it's Roy Thomas (writer), with a little responsibility on part of Mario Gully (penciller) and VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: I read the novel when I was a kid, around 8 or 9, and it was fun... so I naturally picked up this comic series, with more reason when I learned it was to be scripted by Roy Thomas, a giant in this art (not to mention the beautiful Greg Hildenbrandt covers). Still, isn't the name of the line "Marvel Illustrated" kind of redundant... I mean, Marvel is primarily and traditionally a comics publisher... so it's a given that it's illustrated!

Anyhoo, look at this panel, number 2, from page 10. The guy is obviously blowing on a bugle of some sort to announce himself. How can he blow it and speak at the same time?


NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MUCHA LUCHA!"

TITLE: Super-Villain Team-Up: Modok's 11.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: This book started alright, but without much of the humor I would expect from Fred Van Lente, writer of the infinitely funny "Action Philosophers!" comic (what, you don't know it? Go look for it, dammit!

Anyway, Mr. Van Lente, after showing us Modok's origin, continues the story with Armadillo wrestling in Acapulco against "El Chupacabra" (who I don't know if he is a Marvel villain, or just a fake wrestler, or a real wrestler, that Van Lente put into the story). The Spanish dialogue of the guy commenting the fight is perfect at first, showing that either Van Lente knows Spanish, or took the time to consult with someone who does.

As you can imagine, I was ecstatic! The dialogue is perfect, even having tildes in some words, and using opening exclamation points (in Spanish you don't say "Yes!" or "What?", you say "¡Si!” or “¿Qué?”)

However, not all is perfect... I like Mexican wrestler, and while I'm by no means an expert on the subject, I'm pretty sure that they don't use English names for the wrestler's moves, like they do here with "brain-buster", "roadkill slammer", and even the word "finisher" to describe this last move.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, since the rest is practically perfect and shows Van Lente is diligent.
<-------------------------------->
"MEXICO IS SO POOR, THEY DON'T HAVE PLURAL FOR THEIR CURRENCY!"

TITLE: Super-Villain Team-Up: Modok's 11.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer) and/or Blambot's Nate Piekos (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 8, Big Papi, the guy who set up the fight for Armadillo, says the wrestler's purse for the fight is "ten-thousand-peso"; when it would be "pesos", since it's plural, like "dollar" and "dollars".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars, it could just be a typo.
<-------------------------------->
"ANYWAY, IS IT MODOK OR M.O.D.O.K.?"

TITLE: Super-Villain Team-Up: Modok's 11.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Francis Portela (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: I'm pretty sure I didn't mark this page because of the nit I just found while I was reviewing it, but it's still a nit. On page 15, panel one Rocket Racer (yes, Rocket Racer!) is standing next to a sign with a Daily Bugle front page, with of course, Spidey on it. The headline says "Spiderman still menaces New York." Thing is, the character's name is "Spider-Man", and it's something every red-blooded comic fan knows... and any professional working at Marvel should know too!


NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M EXPLORING OTHER CAREER CHOICES."

TITLE: World War Hulk: X-Men.

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Andy Schmidt & Nick Lowe (editors) and Will Panzo (assistant editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: I found this one while checking out the credits to see who the culprit was for the nit below, the one I had originally spotted in this book. So, on the credits page, VC's Joe Caramagna is credited as colorist, when he's the letterer. And it's not like they switched the colorist and letterer credits around, no, they credited two colorists and no letterer.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, because I just checked and they did it last week. It's important to credit people properly.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S USING HIS TELEPATHY TO DISGUISE HIS EYE COLOR!"

TITLE: World War Hulk: X-Men.

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Laura Villari (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: She did it again. Laura, check references, Professor Xavier's eyes are blue, and not brown. Oh, page 3, panels 1 and 3.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, and it'll keep growing.
<-------------------------------->
"THE HAND OF FATE."

TITLE: Teen Titans Go!

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Whoever digitally composed the cover for printing (added logos, etc).

NIT-TO-PICK: This book came out some time ago, and I don't even read it, but this nit was reported to me by my friends Roy and Bea from Dragon Comics, so here's an Honorary Nitpicker Scout badge for them!


Look at the cover below, I'd challenge you to "find the nit", but Roy and Bea already sent the error circled out in red, so... Hey, now that I mention it, who would like a "find the nit" contest every week? In this case, as you can see, Raven is on the lower right corner of the cover, and both her hands are there... however, at the top left side, next to Starfire (or Fakefire, because those breasts are too small for Starfire, sorry), lo and behold, a disembodied hand of Raven!


Some research on the net allowed me to find out that the hand came from the cover to the previous issue (see below), and it was left there due to some computer glitch when they composed the cover, as confirmed by writer J. Torres on this TitansGo thread. The error only affected the copies sold to the public, because according to Torres, none of his comp copies had it.


NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, this is stupid, but blatant. Oh, following recommendations from Roy and Bea, as well as Ziplizard and others, I actually read this issue and it was okay, I guess, for kids, or reading with them... but nothing that makes me want to keep reading the book. And I totally hated those cutesy chibi-style interlude/side note things...
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I'M A WHIZ WITH ELECTRONICS... SAY WHAT, YOU CAN PLAY MUSIC ON AN IPOD?"

TITLE: Teen Titans Go!

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The dangers of making me read a comic... you know I'm gonna spot a nit. In this case, on page 15 Jinx says she can open the door to Titans Tower with her Titan communicator, to what Gizmo says that he had one of those and didn't know it was a key. Come on! It's Gizmo, who's a genius with electronics and all that stuff!!!

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BOB, WE THINK YOU'RE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH WEIRD PETE."

TITLE: Knights Of The Dinner Table.

ISSUE: 129

CULPRIT: Jolly R. Blackburn (writer/artist/letterer, because of the latter, in this case).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 31, panel two, dialogues that, by context, should be Weird Pete's, actually are said by Bob.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it still kind of makes sense. And I know I said I stopped reporting typos on KODT, but this is not a typo. The mag still has several typos per issue...
<-------------------------------->
As meaty as the column was, in text amount, the average went down from last week (tough not to go down from that 8.1!), since there were many low-ranking nits this time. We have a 6.3 Bazzars average this week, and who knows what'll happen next week?

Let me know what you think about the two new things we have, the Nitpicker's Picks Of The Week, and the Honorary Nitpicker Scout badges... and it you want me to have a "spot the nit" contest each week (the prize will be a badge, like I have budget for anything else... oh, whoever has the time, disposition, and skills to design a better badge, knock yourself out!). That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!