Wednesday, September 05, 2007

The Nitpicker #39.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Tell my head wife I have love her head very much!" Head, in All New Atom #15, to which Panda Potter (aka Atom V) responds "She knows, Head. She knows."

Man, can a David Bowie reference get me, or what? I say this because of the quote of the week, of course, from that delightfully excellent book that All New Atom is... but more on that later. Truth is that Xander Harris' quote about Kurt Russell almost won first spot, but I decided this one was better, even more than Head's "DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!" in the same issue.

Sorry this column is late; but it's been hectic at work, and I'm thinking next week's will be late too, so be prepared. Last week's STN was guessed basically at the same time by Dominik B. over at ICS, and Miss Kitty Fantastico at my blog. So, here's a badge for each of you guys. Let's see how you do this week, shall we?

One thing I'd like to tell you this week, is that I've decided to moderate my ratings. I've been too trigger happy on the Bazzars, when at first I only gave out ratings of 10 when things affected plot; then I began giving them out for repeated offenses; and then, just for anything that annoyed the hell out of me... Some things (like Beast's feet) will keep getting a 10, but I'll try to take it easy on some of the other stuff, as some of my readers have suggested. Thanks!

As I said, more on All New Atom: issue #15 is one of the funniest, and entertaining comics I've read on some time. Gail Simone shows that you can write comedy in superhero books, and not be silly; while at the same time having a progressing storyline that actually matters. This is one of the best books around, and the best one Simone is currently writing. While I'm not particularly fond of the art, it's adequate, and the depicting of fantastic elements (such as monsters or aliens) is wonderful, simply but effectively designed.

The worst book of the week is Lucha Libre... I had hopes for that book, because the cover art reminded me of Mexican paintings, with Day of the Dead and Diego Rivera influences in the coloring... and once I read it, it was just like a painting: still, without movement. The story was flat, unoriginal, and boring, and the articles on Mexican wrestling were shallow and uninformed. There's some peddling of some action figures pretentiously dubbed "art-toys", which seem to have been produced before the comics, since they're already on sale, and this makes you feel like you just read a brochure for toys, and not a comic.

Also, there's no clear credits in the book; I want to know who did what, particularly in a book by (at least to me) unknown creators. The only hint of credits is the cover, which cryptically reads "Bill, Tanquerelle, Fabien M., Gobi, Witko, Jerry Frissen"... so.... who's a writer, who's a penciller, who's an inker... who did what? Image's site is only slightly less cryptic, reading "story JERRY FRISSEN, art BILL, GOBI, FABIAN M, WITKO, TANQUERELLE, cover BILL", but seeing that there's a central story, and two separate comic strips, as well as some mock covers of fake old issues, it would be nice to say who did what, for the readers' benefit, and to properly credit the creators.

A signature here and there in the art let's you know that, for example, the "Los Luchadorítos" strip was done by Tanquerelle, back in 2006, the same year some Witko and Iñes (I know the name Inés, but not Iñes) Vargas made the Profesor Furia ones, the later not being mentioned elsewhere. I must say, that there is something salvageable from this book (but not enough to buy it), and it's aforementioned the strips, "Profesor Furia" and "Los Luchadorítos", particularly the last one which seems written by someone who does understand the spirit of Mexican lucha libre.

Before going on to this week's nit, I must retract from last column's nit about Wonder Woman not being able to do "the twirly thing" to change back and forth from her "working clothes". Reader Shad says "Diana has been able to do this since late in the Phil Jimenez run. Jimenez never really explained it, but he did introduce it in one of the periods where things were going well for the Amazons and it wouldn't be unreasonable for the gods to grant Diana a minor new power as a thank you for her good work..." Phil Jimenez, precursor of bringing back idiocies of ages past... Thank Shad, I stand corrected, and although I don't feel like doing the math now, last column's average doesn't change significantly.
<-------------------------------->
"JUST LIKE A SHERIFF'S STAR."

TITLE: All New Atom.

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Mike Norton (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) has a chest emblem that's too small.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MOVING OLD LADIES AROUND."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: My thoughts on the beginning of the much-hyped One More Day? Lackluster, with a story that could have been told in five pages and use the rest to actually advance the plot, and art that shows that Quesada should either draw, or be EiC, not both at the same time. Not to mention the fact that there's people like Elixir, of the New X-Men, who could heal May (but no, why be cohesive within your own universe?) The only good part? The fight between Iron Man and Spidey.

It also has the sappiest, most corniest, and lamest quote I've ever seen: "Tune your ear to the frequency of despair, and cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony." Ugh.... Oh, and it's got nits, starting with the fact that Peter says to himself on page four that they moved Aunt May from the hospital she was at to make sure nobody finishes the job (of killing her). Pete, 'fess up, you did it so you wouldn't go to jail and could still visit her.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I JUST CARRY IT AROUND WITH ME..."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Joe Quesada (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: A sympathetic doctor offers to cover up for MJ and Pete, because his uncle was saved by Spider-Man some years ago... and he just happens to carry around the entire newspaper with the front page of Peter's unmasking, instead of a clipping.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Before my attempt at controlling myself, I would have given this 7 or 8 Bazzars...
<-------------------------------->
"NOBODY WILL SUSPECT!"

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: So, Peter goes to Tony Stark for money, but the playboy tells him that he can't help him without having the help traced back to him, which would ruin all he's worked for, since Peter is a federal fugitive. Surely Tony can whip up some money-laundering plan, with his business savvy, technological abilities and resources; and superpowers, can't he? Yes! His sooper-intelligent plan is to deposit over two million bucks in... his butler Jarvis' account, and send him to pretend being May's cousin.... brilliant, because that can't be traced back to you at all Tony!

Not a nit per se, but why does Spidey change back to his blue and red costume again, without no explanation, when there's no change in the situation (or at least, no change for good) that made him ho back in black? Has the Spider-Man 3 movie DVD been released already?

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. You see, this would have easily been a 10 Bazzars if I wasn't attempting to control my impulses.
<-------------------------------->
"AN HOUR OR TWO, GIVE OR TAKE."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.

ISSUE: 544.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper, Mike Fichera & Al Sjoerdsma (profile writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: Spider-Man's artificial webs have traditionally been said to dissolve after about an hour; but now, according to this profile (and Marvel.com), they dissolve after two hours... or one to two hours, if you look at Marvel.com's profile for the web shooters...

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, the one-hour time limit has been pretty well established, as much as they want to ignore it now.
<-------------------------------->
"FABULOUS COLOR-CHANGING HAIR!"

TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: So, on page 2, when the story opens, Oliver Queen's hair (or at least his facial hair) is blond, basically the same shade as Black Canary's (not her facial hair). Then on page five, it's orange, obviously a completely different color than Canary's. Then on page six, it becomes yellow again, only to turn orange again on page eleven, and for the rest of the book.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. It'd get less, but the fact that they didn't keep it consistent within the same issue makes it go up.
<-------------------------------->
"SPOT AWAY!"

TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Look at this page, and tell me what you see. It's subtle, so beware. Oh, and guys, enjoy the cheesecake.


NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars (it's again a matter of intra-issue consistency).
<-------------------------------->
"JAZZ HANDS? NO, JAZZ BEARD!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 51 through 42.

CULPRIT: All pencillers who worked in those issues.

NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by Illustr8r on Newsarama, and then I did all the legwork to put numbers on it. Back when the Piper/Trickster storyline started, which was actually in "Flash, The Fastest Man Alive", Piper sported a pair of sunglasses as part of his costume, and a goatee. Those issues overlap with the first few issues of Countdown, but when we see him there, he has no beard, and wears no sunglasses. Up until issue 42, when he jumps out of an airplane with Trickster (or actually, Trickster makes both of them jump, since they're chained together), he has no sunglasses, and no beard.

Then comes issue 41, and in the cover, we see that Piper as, in mid-air, grown back his beard and put on his sunglasses (actually, his chin is not visible on the cover). This was actually due to the pencillers on the cover and interiors of this issue (Terry Dodson and Dennis Calero, respectively) actually looking at how a character should look, the oversight of their predecessors on Countdown not withstanding. Still, as you'll see in the next nits, they not free of blame.

So, Piper gets his beard back, and we actually see him loose the glasses while he falls down to earth. He walks out of the water and onto Gotham City's harbor still wearing his beard. However, by next issue, having walked only a few blocks (I assume, but still, no time to shave) to arrive at the Iceberg Lounge, he again has no beard. Illustr8r said "Whoever's overseeing artistic continuity in this series should be shot..." No Illustr8r, you can't shoot somebody who doesn't exist... because there's nobody overseeing artistic continuity in Countdown... by the way, you've won yourself an HNSC badge!

NIT-O-METER: I'll give this 8 Bazzars, but won't repeat it since during their brief stay at the Iceberg Lounge, Piper might have had time to shave. Furthermore, if somebody decides to draw him with a beard, I won't consider it a nit, unless they do what you can read below, or some editor claims Piper shaved.
<-------------------------------->
"JAZZ BEARD, TAKE TWO."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, Calero did draw Piper almost the right way. Almost. Piper's beard was a full goatee in "Flash...", but in this issue of Countdown it's barely a large soul patch.

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, yes, he could have trimmed it...
<-------------------------------->
"TRICKSTER, QUIT PLAYING WITH MY SHADES!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, explain this one Calero! On pages 2 and 3 we can see Piper's beard and glasses, but on the first panel of page 4 he doesn't have the glasses (and we can't see his chin), only to have them on panel 2, so they can fall of him on panel 4

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARY'S HEELS? NOT THIS TIME."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34 and various issues.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller for issues 34 and others), and pencillers for other issues.

NIT-TO-PICK: Another one spotted by Newsarama readers; this time it's leahcim (yes, no capital "l"), who also gets a HNSC badge. Donna Troy's heels come and go, though not as blatantly as Mary Marvel's, since they change between normal boot heels (not stilettos) and flat-soled boots.

You know what I have a problem with this issue? The fact that Kyle Rayner appears de-Parallaxed, and they say, unnecessarily, that the story takes place after Green Lantern #23... when Kyle finishes that GL issue still under Parallax' control. I don't think many people believe Kyle was going to stay Parallax-ed, but still...

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JIMMY'S GROWN."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 5, John Henry "Steel" Irons is running some tests on Jimmy Olsen. Problem is, Jimmy seems taller (or the same height, if you allow for skewed perspective) than John. John Henry Iron's is 6'8", and Jimmy is somewhere between 5'7" and 6'2" (I don't believe the latter account), from what I've found around the web. Does anyone have Superman Secret Files & Origins (1998) laying around? That's where Jimmy's latest profile (including height) is, according to some research.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I'M JUST FOLLOWING KYLE'S LEAD."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Mary Marvel's lightning bolt is drawn too small on her uniform on page 15.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEEL MY CRY!"

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Mary's stilettos are gone again.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW TECHNOLOGY, NEW SPELLING."

TITLE: Doktor Sleepless.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer) or unnamed letterer.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, panel 3, it says "dialling" instead of "dialing".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"BABY BLUES."

TITLE: Exiles.

ISSUE: 98.

CULPRIT: Wil Quintana (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Psylocke's eyes are colored blue on page 24, instead of purple.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, because they keep it up.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT EVERYMAN."

TITLE: Infinity Inc. V2.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Milligan says that Lex Luthor, through his Everyman Project, "manipulated the metagenes of countless teens"; when it was all kinds of people, from teens to middle-aged men and women (Immortal-Man-In-Baldness, anyone?).

As for the book's name, the old series said "Infinity Inc." on the cover, but "Infinity, Inc" in the indicia (which is what I try to go by); however, I'm inclined to consider this new comic a second volume of the same book.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE FAMOUS, SO WHO CARES HOW WE SPELL IT?"

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: There's an Italian restaurant called "Giuseppe's Famoso Sausages"; "famoso" means "famous", but only when applied to male nouns, and "sausages" in Italian is a female noun (yes, nouns in languages other than English have genders), so "famosa" (or actually "famosas", since it's plural) would apply.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT A MAGNIFICENT RESTRAUNT!"

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Francis Manapul & Joel Gomez (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: The sign above the restaurant says "sausges" instead of "sausages".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M TOO SHORT TO KEEP TRACK OF TIME."

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 18, Big Daddy says it's been six months since Michael Iron disappeared, but according to Angel a few pages before, it was only three months.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'RE KIND OF EMBARASSED OF THAT CHARACTER..."

TITLE: Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: Scott Allie introduces artist Jason Armstrong in the letters page, saying that among his works are "Marvel's Doc Thunder"; when Armstrong's creator-owned Doc Thunder was published by Dark Horse.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's the company you work for!
<-------------------------------->
"YO SER LUCHADOR!"

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: By now you already know what I think of this book, so, let me tell you about the nits it's got. For starters, on page ten, King Karate uses a wrestling move on an opponent which he calls "la suastica", which probably was meant to be "la esvástica", which means "swastika" in Spanish (since the guy's body ends up looking like one).

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MASTER OF LANGUAGES!"

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 29, one of the short stories of Profesor Furia, the title is "Maître du Monde"; which is translated as "Master of the Universe" in English, and "Maestro del Mundo" in Spanish. Well, this is a double nit, because "monde" means "world" in French, not "Universe", and "maestro" in Spanish means "teacher"; if you want to say "master" you need to say "señor" or "amo".

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, two separate counts.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SILVER MASKED MAN... WITH A RED MASK..."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Uncredited graphic designer for article pages.

NIT-TO-PICK: On article on pages 30 and 31, photos of El Santo have his mask colored red; when it was silver. I mean, his nickname was "The Silver Masked Man"!

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could have been some bizarrely colored version of his movies; but if you're going to do an article on Mexican wrestling, you should know better.
<-------------------------------->
"SWORN ENEMY ON WEEKENDS, RIVALS ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS, FRIENDS THE REST OF THE WEEK."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Blue Demon is referred to as El Santo's "sworn enemy"; when they were rivals (but not enemies) on the ring, and friends on the movies (although when the masks were off, they weren't really friends).

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSICAL ERROR."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the same article, Mexican TV channel "De Película Clásico" is called "De Pelicula Classico".

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T COMPRENDO SPANISH."

TITLE: Lucha Libre.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: In another Profesor Furia story, on page 33, it says "comprede" instead of "comprende". "Comprende" is "did you understand?" in Spanish.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KAHN'T SPELL."

TITLE: Metal Men V4.

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer) or Pat Brosseau (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Kahn says, on panel 3 of page 13, "praktical" instead of "practical".

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"010110010100111101010101001000
000100010001001111010011100010
011101010100001000000101001101
01000001000101010000010100101
10010000001001101010000010100
001101001000010010010100111001
00010100100000010011000100000
1010011100100011101010101010000
01010001110100010100100001"


TITLE: Metal Men V4.

ISSUE: 02 of 08.

CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Rouleau tries to be clever by having U.N.I.O.N. speak in binary code, however, all his binary is flawed. I can't read binary (I'm one of those people, yes), but I knew it didn't sound right, so I checked it out. You can translate to and from binary here, among other places, and you'll see that whatever string of ones and zeros not divisible by eight is not binary. It takes more than senselessly sticking together some 1s and 0s to write Binary, and Rouleau could have spent five minutes on the web researching before doing it.

By the way, here's how you write MaGnUs in binary: 01001101011000010100
0111011011100101010101110011. Neat!

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, consider this a mathematical variation of my "other languages" peeve.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE!"

TITLE: New Warriors V4.

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller) and Marte Gracia (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: This is a fun book, which is a surprise to me since I found Underworld (the movie written by this books scribe, Kevin Grevioux) unbelievably boring. I wonder who Night Trasher is, Dominik B. think he might be the Black Panther, but I think that'd be too obvious.

However good, the book is not devoid of nits. Angel Salvadore (now using the name Tempest) is shown as having basically the same skin tone as her husband, the former Beak; but he's white and she's supposed to be black. I'm not going into her figure, because she could have lost weight and all, but I will complain about her features, which don't look African American to me.

I know some people are complaining about Beak (now Blackwing); that he looks to hunky, I say his de-mutation could have made him go back to looking better, less birdlike, that what he looked like when he first lost his X-gene. The muscles, though, are a bit too much; I think they should draw him with a more birdlike body, kind of like Angel (Warren Worthington) over at X-Men: First Class.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BY THE POWER OF THE CROTCH-X!"

TITLE: New Warriors V4.

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Speaking of X-Men: First Class, Night Trasher and his second-in-command, Wondra (Jubilation Lee, with a codename that sounds like a portmanteau of "Wonder Bra") are reviewing team strategies on page sixteen. They're looking at what seems to be footage of the original X-Men in their early years (strangely, Angel is nowhere to be seen, perhaps he's out of camera), and what uniforms are they wearing? The ones from X-Men: First Class!!!

Now, this is my proof of the fact that Marvel is slowly trying to force First Class as the X-Men's early adventures in 616! However, as long as they don't come out and specifically say that that's their intention, I will consider the use of these costumes a nit.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M STILL THE HUGGERNAUT, BITCH!"

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 23.

CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Jeremy, did you remember to check that the Juggernaut, as big as he is, is still human sized? That his height is 6'01", and Dazzler's is 5'8"? And that therefore, she should not two feet shorter than him, nor the size of one of his arms? Yes, it could be that since reclaiming (sort of) the power of the Juggernaut, he's grown larger, but his teammates would have noticed it.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. This would have been an 8 under my new moderation policy, but since Haun's a repeating offender, he gets a higher rating.
<-------------------------------->
"THE NITPICKER V2 OR V3?"

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 37 and others.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer)

NIT-TO-PICK: I've been calling labeling Astonishing X-Men as V2, when it's V3. Thanks to TokerTheKid for spotting this, here's a HNSC badge for him.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LIKE KYLE OR MARY, I DON'T WANT THE EMBLEM TO DISTRACT PEOPLE FROM MY PECS."

TITLE: Outsiders V3.

ISSUE: 50 (and next month, it'll be Batman And The Outsiders #1 (V2, of course)... did we really need a new issue one?).

CULPRIT: Matthew Clark & Ron Randall (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 21, Batman's chest emblem is an itty-bitty tiny bat, only for it to look regular-sized by the next page. Besides I wish they'd make up their minds, does batman wear a black cowl and cape, or is it blue?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE-HULK SMASHES MEASUREMENTS!"

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Rick Burchett (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Well, I won't write a review on this issue, and since it was, technically, well-written and with adequate art, I didn't pick it as the worst book of the week (plus, nothing was as bad as Lucha Libre), but I think the plot device of a parallel reality's people coming to live as their superheroic or villainous counterparts, used to explain stuff like She-Hulk sleeping with Juggernaut was, at best, lazy.

My problem with this book started (granted, I've never actually followed it) when they started using real-world Marvel comics as court evidence. I can appreciate a comedy book, but if they have to break the fourth wall every two panels, then it doesn't belong in continuity with the rest of the 616 Marvel universe. I take my continuity very seriously; I can accept separate continuities like Ultimate or Adventures, and even funny books like this one or even non-comedy books like Mythos, and accept them as good comics.

However, one of the things I like the most about DC and Marvel is the fact that most of their books happen within one single, huge (and yes, sometimes retconed or even rebooted) continuity. You can do comedy while working within continuity (JLI, anyone? Or the current Atom book?). I honestly feel that books like She-Hulk, if intended as part of that big continuity, take away from it, and diminish its impact. Of course, I could always ignore them, as I've done for the most part with She-Hulk, but when they start undoing stuff done in other books, that's when it matters to me.

I know people hated Chuck Austen's run on Uncanny X-Men, I didn't hate it that much (except for the Nightcrawler-is-half-demon part). In fact, the whole journey of Juggernaut into Huggernaut was actually pretty believable, and the scene where he and She-Hulk do the horizontal mambo was really a good part from that storyline...

Anyhoooo... I digress, and mucho... Miss Kitty Fantastico gets a badge for spotting this particular nit (which I'll get to in a moment, all the above was just a rant, and MKF will most likely hate me for). On page 5 the She-Hulk from Earth A (616 would be Earth B to them) is, according to her mugshot when arrested, 7'9". Jennifer Walters in her She-Hulk is actually 6'7" (and this is supposed to be 616 Shulkie's exact duplicate).

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BIG HOUSE, SMALL COMFORTS."

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers) and/or Rick Burchett (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: You know what else I hate about this book? No, don't worry, I won't subject you to another rant (for now). This is just another nit. Mallory Book is speaking over the phone with Titania, who's in The Big House. The Big House is a shrunken prison for villains, created by Hank Pym; who has, I assume, all the necessary "comforts" to house inmates and guards, yet Titania is shown using a normal sized phone. Why wouldn't they have tiny phones? And why do the ants walking around seem about half the size of the phone receiver?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OF COURSE YOU THINK IT'S PERMANENT REED, YOU CAN'T CURE YOUR BEST FRIEND."

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: She-Hulk, for the past issues, and now Mister Fantastic, go on and on about how the nanites Tony Stark shot Jen with to take her powers away are permanent... yet twice now, once by Amadeus Cho, and once by Stark, the nanites have been rendered inoperative for a period of time, however short. They're obviously not permanent.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GET IT RIGHT DAMMIT!"

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Tom Brevoort (editor) and/or Molly Lazer (assistant editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: I found this one while checking the credits to write the nits above. Once more, one of the senior partners of the firm She-Hulk works at is spelled "Kurtzburg" instead of "Kurtzberg". Get it right people! He's named after Jack Kirby, and his real last name was Kurtzberg, not Kurtzburg!!!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it's a repeat offense, about the third time they do this...
<-------------------------------->
"FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH."

TITLE: Supergirl V6.

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller/colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Ma and Pa Kent look too young (again), and nothing like they do in Action Comics, published the week before.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars is what this gets, both for being a repeat offense, and for not even matching other books published almost at the same time.
<-------------------------------->
"MY MASTER PLAN!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 490.

CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: James Proudstar's plan is to remove the inhibitor collar from Leech, rendering the Morlocks powerless; but he neglects to mention that he'll be powerless too.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, he could be not mentioning that on purpose so Hepzibah doesn't worry about him.
<-------------------------------->
"WHA?"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 490.

CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the credits for the Endangered Species story, colorist Raúl Treviño's first name is incorrectly given as having the tilde on the "R", something that's not only wrong, but impossible.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Wow... my moderation policy has clearly affected the average this week, with a 4.9 Bazzars. I'm speechless, so I'll just show you this week's WTF? moment. It's from All New Atom 15, and it's, brace yourself, two Godzillaesque monsters making out:


There's a second WTF? moment, one I couldn't allow to pass. From The Boys #10, here's Tek-Knight humping a meteorite. Yes, exactly what you read, it's a meteorite with a fleshy orifice and he... well.... I can't think about it anymore:


Sweet dreams. That's it for now, until next week (maybe late this week), I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

0101010001001000010001010010000001
00111001001001010101000101000001001
00101000011010010110100010101010010!

15 comments:

Miss Kitty Fantastico said...

Just a couple of quick notes, as it's 4:30am (eek!) and I'm off to bed.

Spot the nit: The negligee Diana's wearing over her underwear looks to have been pencilled and inked to be a full top, but the colours suggest there's nothing over her chest above the bra. It could be designed that way, but the lines around the 'edge' of the sleeves at the shoulder look to me like they were meant to be folds, not the edge of the fabric.

Yes indeed, your views on She-Hulk may prove dangerous should I ever take over the world. But for now, there's no inconsistency in Reed's claim that the nanites are permanent - they can be switched off an on, or counteracted, but they can't be removed from She-Hulk's body in any way (what finally happened, technically, was that she got a new body). That works for 'permanent' for me - I see how the existence of temporary cures dilutes the effect of the term, but I don't see that it's technically wrong.

And I've got another one for you:

[b]TITLE:[/b] Justice Society of America

[b]ISSUE:[/b] 9

[b]CULPRIT:[/b] Jeromy Cox & Hi-Fi (colours)

[b]NIT-TO-PICK:[/b] On page 5 (not counting the cover) Cyclone's costume is coloured red on the drape around her chest, green on the lower dress, and green on the sleeveless top beneath it. In earlier issues it's been red top, green dress and drape; regardless of whether this is meant to be a different version of her costume, on page 13 the colours have reversed: green drape, red dress and top, and on the following page her stockings, which should be alternating red and pale blue/white stripes, look like pale blue/green stripes painted onto her bare legs. I'd point the finger at Hi-Fi (whatever that is), as on all previous issues Cox is credited alone as colourist, and regardless of Dale Eaglesham's tendency to forget that Cyclone wears a top under her dress, the colours have always been consistent (in fact, I recall in one issue, where she was in the background so it didn't stand out, the top was coloured in in spite of their being no outline for it, thus preventing a nit).

The Guvnor Paul C said...

Not so bad with me it's only just past 1.15am!

I have to say that I preferred it when you didn't limit yourself on the Bazzars. I find it much more fun when they always score ridiculously high. Ah well.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass on Spot The Nit as I'm not a DC reader, but I was reading through the current Fantastic Four arc and on the cover to #548 (I think, it's back at home and not in front of me) Reed Richards only has 4 fingers on his right hand. I'd give this 4 Bazzars, but then knock it up to 8 as it is a truly awful cover.

I was just wondering if there was an expiration date on nits as over here we get compilation comic books through the newsagents that reprint stories from a few years ago, and the last Spider-Man issue contained Amazing #522 and Spider-Man/Black Cat #4, which contained some nits. If there is no say sell-by-date, I'll try and stick them up on the Internet.

MaGnUs said...

The Guvnor Paul C said "Not so bad with me it's only just past 1.15am!"

Hey, Guvnor, m'man, so good to see you around! Where have you been?

The Guvnor Paul C said "I have to say that I preferred it when you didn't limit yourself on the Bazzars. I find it much more fun when they always score ridiculously high. Ah well."

Well, you're the only one, so far....

The Guvnor Paul C said "I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass on Spot The Nit as I'm not a DC reader, but I was reading through the current Fantastic Four arc and on the cover to #548 (I think, it's back at home and not in front of me) Reed Richards only has 4 fingers on his right hand. I'd give this 4 Bazzars, but then knock it up to 8 as it is a truly awful cover."

Hmm... I'll check that out.

The Guvnor Paul C said "I was just wondering if there was an expiration date on nits as over here we get compilation comic books through the newsagents that reprint stories from a few years ago, and the last Spider-Man issue contained Amazing #522 and Spider-Man/Black Cat #4, which contained some nits. If there is no say sell-by-date, I'll try and stick them up on the Internet."

No, there's really no expiration date. Some time ago, I used to do old nits all the time; until I set upon myself a weekly deadline again, and decided to concentrate on the books I read the previous week. However, I have a huge stockpile of backdated stuff, which keeps growing every time I read back issues, waiting to supplement the column any given week there's not enough nits to fill the 10 nits quota (I doubt it) I set myself for the weekly column. I might even use some of that old stuff for a special here and there (right, as if I had the time). But go ahead, and report them, you'll get your badge.

Miss Kitty Fantastico said "Just a couple of quick notes, as it's 4:30am (eek!) and I'm off to bed."

Yeah, I know, I posted this one during my day, instead of during my night. :>

Miss Kitty Fantastico said "Spot the nit: The negligee Diana's wearing over her underwear looks to have been pencilled and inked to be a full top, but the colours suggest there's nothing over her chest above the bra. It could be designed that way, but the lines around the 'edge' of the sleeves at the shoulder look to me like they were meant to be folds, not the edge of the fabric."

No, that's not it... I see what you mean about the folds, but I think they're actually places where the fabric might be stretchy, to cinch itself to the shoulders. Admit it, you were just gawking at Wonder Woman... who has a horrible hairline, now that I notice...

Miss Kitty Fantastico said "Yes indeed, your views on She-Hulk may prove dangerous should I ever take over the world."

Heh :P It's not the character I have a problem with, it's Slott and Templeton's plot device choices I have issues with.

Miss Kitty Fantastico said "But for now, there's no inconsistency in Reed's claim that the nanites are permanent - they can be switched off an on, or counteracted, but they can't be removed from She-Hulk's body in any way (what finally happened, technically, was that she got a new body). That works for 'permanent' for me - I see how the existence of temporary cures dilutes the effect of the term, but I don't see that it's technically wrong."

It's not the word "permanent" I'm complaining about, but the fact that Reed locks himself in "Rainman" mode and goes over and over about how there's nothing he can do about restoring her powers... when obviously, there are solutions, even if they are temporary. And even if they didn't exist, and this is not a nit, but bad characterization, Reed would never say something's impossible without dedicating at least a decade or so into researching it :>.

Miss Kitty Fantastico said "And I've got another one for you:"

Thanks, I'll have that in for next week... he even formatted it for me! I love the stockings on Cyclone's costume, but the rest of it is horrible... like you said, a gym top and a drape.... ugh.... I'll ask Blockade Boy to do Rescue Her.

MaGnUs said...

Err... "to Rescue Her", not "do Rescue Her"

Miss Kitty Fantastico said...

Actually, you're right, I think the neck/chest is meant to be open - there's two layers of fabric around her waist, which make it look like it's meant to be an open top. The shoulder lines still look weird though.

Can't think what the colour nit is then. Of course I was gawking at Wonder Woman - I bought the issue for that one panel (see Heroine Addict for why, and no, it's not just perviness). I'm slightly disappointed Oracle didn't get a Hot Lingerie Panel though, seeing as everyone else was getting them.

I actually like Cyclone's costume as is (as it usually is, I mean) - it's got a funky Wizard-of-Oz-witch feel to it, which works with the whole tornado power. At least, it does if you think like an impressionable drama student. I think it's cute.

MaGnUs said...

I know what you mean about Cyclone's costume, I still think you can evoke those ideas without wearing a drape, stockings, and a tank top...

Yes, an Oracle lyngerie shot would have been nice.

The Guvnor Paul C said...

Cheers man, I've been back at home in Ireland for the summer and our Internet was pretty slow so I didn't bother going online much. But I'm back at uni now on much faster Internet so hopefully I should be appearing more regularly.

Here are the two nits. Apologies for the quality of the pages, my scanner is at home and I had to use the digital camera. Take a look at this page page.

[b]TITLE:[/b] Amazing Spider-Man
[b]ISSUE:[/b] 522
[b]CULPRIT:[/b] J. Michael Straczynski [(writer) or the letterer, I don't have his name on hand, but probably not]
[b]NIT-TO-PICK:[/b]Take a look at the last panel and Spider-Man says "door". The fact that it was in quotation marks despite the villain not saying it directly confuses me and I had to read over it a couple of time.
[b]NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars[/b]

Now how about a spot-the-nit for you Magnus. Ignore the cover, that was just me showing it was from the same issue.

Take a look at this page
and this page and finally this page.

[b]TITLE:[/b] Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do
[b]ISSUE:[/b] 4
[b]CULPRIT:[/b] Lee Loughridge (colourist)
[b]NIT-TO-PICK:[/b]Take a look at the pages from the start, middle and end of the issue. It's really simple to get this one.
[b]NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars[/b]

As for another nit, in this week's New Avengers #34 we know that Echo is deaf and can only understand people by lip-reading them but in a few of the pages, when someone asks a question she is able to answer them even when they are standing directly behind her. I give this 6 Bazzars and blame Leinil Yu for this one.

And a nit about the Spider-Man books in general, how does no-one else, especially hospital staff like nurses and receptionists, notice he is Peter Parker whenever his face was plastered all over TV and newspapers. I'd give this 8 Bazzars.

Finally my WTF/Dayamn moments are a tie-in between having to pay extra for the frickin' useless "bonus material" in Amazing #544 and take a look at Quesada's layout, it says June 2006 on it. Has it really taken him well over a year to get 4 issues done, talk about ridiculous.

MaGnUs said...

The Guvnor Paul C said "Cheers man, I've been back at home in Ireland for the summer and our Internet was pretty slow so I didn't bother going online much. But I'm back at uni now on much faster Internet so hopefully I should be appearing more regularly."

Awesome, I didn't know you were from Ireland. That's a place I'd like to visit someday.

The Guvnor Paul C said "Take a look at the last panel and Spider-Man says "door". The fact that it was in quotation marks despite the villain not saying it directly confuses me and I had to read over it a couple of time."

I don't get this one, I'd have to check the issue myself. I will.

The Guvnor Paul C said "Ignore the cover, that was just me showing it was from the same issue."

Is it your version of having a hostage hold up today's newspaper?

The Guvnor Paul C said "Take a look at the pages from the start, middle and end of the issue. It's really simple to get this one."

Not sure, is it Black Cat's eyes or shirt looking different like they change color? Because if it is, it might be attributed to lighting, particularly for the eyes. If not, I'm stumped.

The Guvnor Paul C said "As for another nit, in this week's New Avengers #34 we know that Echo is deaf and can only understand people by lip-reading them but in a few of the pages, when someone asks a question she is able to answer them even when they are standing directly behind her. I give this 6 Bazzars and blame Leinil Yu for this one."

I didn't notice it.

The Guvnor Paul C said "And a nit about the Spider-Man books in general, how does no-one else, especially hospital staff like nurses and receptionists, notice he is Peter Parker whenever his face was plastered all over TV and newspapers. I'd give this 8 Bazzars."

Nah, I'll chalk this one up to the fact that he's just Peter Parker, it's not like all of a sudden, Justin Timberlake unmasked as Spidey... nobody knew him from before, and unless his face is all over the place afterwards, no one is going to remember it. Tell me, when they interview an unknown guy who was mugged on the news, do you remember his face afterwards?

The Guvnor Paul C said "Finally my WTF/Dayamn moments are a tie-in between having to pay extra for the frickin' useless "bonus material" in Amazing #544 and take a look at Quesada's layout, it says June 2006 on it. Has it really taken him well over a year to get 4 issues done, talk about ridiculous. "

Well, the bonus material sure wasn't worth the extra money, but as for Quesada, and despite the quality of his art (horrible, as I've said), remember his day job is being EIC of Marvel.

MaGnUs said...

Dominik B. said over at ICS.net "Okay... How about Vixen's eyes being blue when they're quite probably not supposed to be blue?"

DING! DING! DING! Two weeks on a row, Dominik hits the nail. A few pages back her eyes are brown as they're supposed to be.

The Guvnor Paul C said...

Yeah Ireland rocks and is beautiful, especially whenever it isn't raining.

Re: Black Cat. Ha yeah, that was just to show that I wasn't cheating by taking panels from two different issues. As I said, the quality isn't the greatst but what it was is that her eyes go from green to blue and then on the final page, blue back to green again. Very sloppy work in my opinion.

Re: Peter Parker, fair enough comment. I always can't help but compare it to Prison Break where they are on the run and yet no-one seems to recognise them from the TV. I think you're probably right though.

Re: Joe Quesada. I know he has a day job but he should have handed it over to someone they know that would get it done in time. Worringly, Amazing #545 isn't currently listed on the Publishing Catalogue on Marvel.com

Re: New Avengers. Page 16 (including recap, not including ads), panel 4, with the dialogue, "But what if we're exactly who we want to be?" "Are you?" "Is anyone?" I think I'll change that down to 4 Bazzars. I can see what you mean now about being too gung-ho in giving a high score to some nits!

MaGnUs said...

Sloppy work is common, that's what my column is all about. :P

Jordan said...

Hi Magnus.
Nice week.. but i must agree with The Guvnor Paul C with the fact that i also preferred you when you didn't limit yourself on the Bazzars :)

But anyway good nits.

I must try to read this more often.. i am always late for the Pick the Nit.. :(
Hope i can get it next week..
See you.

MaGnUs said...

Thanks for the comments Jordan... better luck next time with STN, you know early bird gets the worm.

So people prefer me when I'm outrageous with the ratings? Hmmm...

cfutino said...

Regarding the "esvastica"/"suastica" thing, the writer must have confused Portuguese and Spanish. In Portuguese we do say "suastica". Or, more precisely, "suástica", but the "á" character is easy to be forgotten by non protuguese speakers.

MaGnUs said...

cfutino said "Regarding the "esvastica"/"suastica" thing, the writer must have confused Portuguese and Spanish. In Portuguese we do say "suastica". Or, more precisely, "suástica", but the "á" character is easy to be forgotten by non protuguese speakers."

Didn't occur to me that it could be Portuguese. Brigado!