Friday, June 25, 2010

The Dissector #168.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"(...) there are promises one makes to oneself, having lived through a holocaust. I'm afraid these promises preclude me from watching the extermination of my people in a reclining position. See to your patients, Dr. McCoy. I will see to our enemies." Max Eisenhardt, aka Magneto, New Mutants V3 #14.

Now, this was a weird week... very few dissections... a short rundown... and no "Worst Book", but a "Less Good Book"... Weird indeed. Emerre correctly noticed in last week's DT! that The Thing should have hurt his knuckles, not his fingers. The way it was drawn, it looks like he was backhand pimp-slapping the force field instead of punching it. Badge for you, Emerre, and please accept the rank of Lieutenant in the HDSC!

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was The Boys #43, its quality always constant. Worst Book Of The Week? None, really. Even stuff like Heralds (unremarkable) or Joker's Asylum II: Harley Quinn (predictable, niche-pandering) weren't bad... so I had to choose Ultimate X #3, for two reasons: 1) the story wasn't enough for a whole issue, it was a waste of pages, and 2) Art Adam's work wasn't as hot as usual.

The World's Shortest Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Black Cat (accented letters), Atlas (blue eyes on Jimmy Woo?), New Mutants V3 (Beast's eyes are colored wrong), R.E.B.E.L.S (small ñ), X-Factor Forever (Brazil/Argentina? One, the other, or both?).
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"SALTIEST DAY."

TITLE: Brightest Day (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 26.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Peter J. Tomasi (writers).

DISSECTION: Ronnie Raymond dreams of Gehenna, Jason Rusch's girlfriend, courtesy of Jason, and wakes up covered in salt, the room filled with salt grains... but how does his friend, who enters the room to find that scene, knows it's salt, and not coke, dandruff, or talc?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Hawkman's eyes and hair continue to be colored incorrectly.
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"HURRAH WIDE KID."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 167.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I spelled Rawhide Kid's name was "Rahwide", and JohnnyDoe noticed that, apart from two other small errors on my part.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Three badges for JD, and he makes the rank of Commander!
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"YO DT!"

TITLE: G.I. Joe (IDW).

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: S.L. Gallant (penciller).

DISSECTION: Now, take a look at this panel:


What's odd?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There's also a horribly drawn Union Jack.
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"WEB OF CONTINUITY."

TITLE: Web Of Spider-Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Tom Brennan (editor).

DISSECTION: The "Bugle Girl" newsbytes mention H.A.M.M.E.R. and its agents as if it was still an active and lawful organization... yet Spider-Man is working out of Avengers Tower.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"WEB OF LIES."

TITLE: Web Of Spider-Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer, The Extremist).

DISSECTION: The villain's origin story centers on a woman trying to convince Professor Xavier that her child is a mutant, and that he must enroll him in his school. This is said to happen "many years ago", back when Cyclops was a teenager (or at least a very young adult, as he's very slim and wearing a bowtie)... but the status of Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters as a school for mutants was, and has been for most of its existence, a complete secret.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. And I noticed something else while reviewing this entry... The front gate plate of the school reads incorrectly "Xavier Institute For Higher Learning", a name the school wouldn't sport for many years.
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That short column gives us a 6.5 Bazzars average, in the shockingly low amount of seventeen dissections. Weird week, no doubt about that... Now, the Cover Of The Week... what can I say other than... CHEESECAKE!!!


Thank you, J. Scott Campbell. The Moments Of The Week start with the birth of a Legion Of Super-Heroes villain:


From dead star, to disco star! Then, another star is not dead...


It's time to get dangerous!!! Great return for Darkwing Duck, the first issue of the book was just like watching the TV show. Who else returns?


HULK!!! And he's pissed... even his veins are hulking out! Then, another strongman gets strong-armed:


That's gotta hurt... But when the going gets tough, Cyclops asks Xavier to do something very, very sensible:


Yes, weaponize Legion, his own kid, and one of the most insane and dangerous mutants ever! And speaking of dangerous mutants...


Be scared, enemies of mutantkind... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

23 comments:

Sidney said...

I'll just go out on a limb here and say it has something to do with the bottle in the foreground.

MaGnUs said...

That's a tad unspecific, now innit?

JohnnyDoe said...

This is a longshot but, the vodka is named Nbora (presumably) and imported from Australia but the Nbora district is actually located in Nigeria.

Donald313 said...

The name is obviously a clever variation of the australian capital Canberra.
BUT: It stands behind the laptop, so where is the light on it´s side coming from? Riddle me that...

MaGnUs said...

Neither of those. :)

David said...

I'm gonna say that the table is magically warped.

It looks like the glass and bottle are standing on it one way, but the laptop is positioned on it in a totally different orientation. So at different points in the table, it's flat surface faces up and alternatingly to the left or right, pretty weird piece of furniture.

Or the bottle and glass could just be resting tilted on invisible wedge-shaped coasters, which I would actually totally buy.

MaGnUs said...

It's much more simple than the stuff you guys are saying...

Sidney said...

Is it the size of the bottle compared to the laptop?

MaGnUs said...

Nope. :)

Donald313 said...

Is it the size of the screen? When you close the laptop it wouldn´t fit? Something like that?

MaGnUs said...

Getting colder.

Donald313 said...

No shadow on the Wodka glass?

MaGnUs said...

Chilly Willy.

Sidney said...

Could it be what he's saying, since Major Bludd is supposed to be aristocratic himself.

MaGnUs said...

Arctic... it's an art dissection.

David said...

All right, a couple hail Marys. I don't expect any of these to be what you're looking for.

1. The vodka is meant to be the Bombora brand, it's got the same shape and a lot of the same label. But the artist didn't know how to do just the right side of an M.

2. Is his right arm weirdly longer than his left?

3. He's leaning back in his chair...but is there even a chair there?

MaGnUs said...

1) Warm.

2) Cold.

3) Freezing.

JohnnyDoe said...

Stab in the dark: the vodka bottle is tilting in a way it shouldn't since the table isn't (clearly seen by the laptop behind it).

MaGnUs said...

Warm. But not too warm.

Kyle said...

Looks Like the Bombora Bottle says NBORA because the M is jacked up, and the Bacardi Bat is on the bottle instead of the Bombora target/whirlpool thing.

MaGnUs von Tesla said...

Thanks for the comment, Kyle, but this was actually revealed in the following column (this is from June 2010 :>); the issue was that the bottle says "Produce Australia", instead of "Product Of Australia" or "Produced in Australia".

Kyle said...

Lol, Damn. I should have read a bit further on! Thanks!

MaGnUs von Tesla said...

Just keep on reading!