Sunday, July 04, 2010

The Dissector #169.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


"Can't waste precious neurons on likeable morons (...)" Brainiac 5, Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #2.

I know I'm late, but I'm on vacation, so... This is the column for books released on 06/23, and nobody cracked the DT! last week. Look at the bottle's label... it says "ce Australia", for "Produce Australia". That should be "producT OF Australia"... it was subtle, I know.

What are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #2, Levitz keeps showing he understands this team, and Yildiray Cinar's art (with Francis Portela's help this time) is a perfect blend of classic and modern. Worst Book Of The Week? It was almost Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark #1, but then I realized that book wasn't actually that bad, it was just not to my liking. No, Worst Book was The Authority: The Lost Year #9... just bland, with poor jokes, and a complete waste of a 22-page comic book story.

The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man (Araña's first name should be "Anya" not "Añya", plus, the ñ's are the wrong size), Angel (Connor's eyes are the wrong color), Avengers V4 (wrong eye colors on Iron Man and Namor), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Batman's gloves are wrong), Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne (Hal Jordan's gloves are colored wrong), Blackbeard: Legend Of The Pyrate King (accented letters), Detective Comics (Batman's gloves, what else?), Fantastic Four (a space is missing in the cover lettering, Leech's head looks wrong), Iron Man Legacy ("neigboring"), Justice League: Generation Lost (the KFB doesn't exist anymore, Batman's gloves and belts are wrong), Justice League: The Rise Of Arsenal (Hawkgirl's hair is colored wrong), Namora V2 (geez Namora, the Atlantean settlers you went to find HAVE BLANK EYES, didn't that clue you in to the fact they were being controlled by an ancient sea god? Oh, wait, it was just the artist being lazy... and the writer thinks "Camden" is the city were Nitro exploded before Civil War), Origins Of Marvel Comics (Reed Richards' eyes should be brown, Xavier's school has never been for "exceptional youngsters", Wakanda doesn't sell Vibranium, T'Chaka wasn't killed in a Vibranium theft attempt, the Black Cat doesn't rob the rich to give to the poor, Iron Fist doesn't do "kung fu", or even "wu shu" if we were being technical, it's Mark Texeira, not "Texiera"), Power Girl V2 (Guy Gardner's hair is colored wrong), Sea Bear & Grizzly Shark ("missle"), Secret Warriors (Dum Dum Dugan's first name is "Timothy", not "Thaddeus"), Superman/Batman (accented letter), Thunderbolts (Norse trolls look nothing like they should), X-Factor V3 (M doesn't have blue eyes, Jeromy Cox!!!), X-Men Legacy ("pule" rifle).

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 168.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Vice Admiral of the HDSC Snakebyte noticed I wrote "Art Adam's" instead of "Art Adams'". Badge for him.


TITLE: Green Arrow V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: JT Krul (writer).

DISSECTION: Due to the fact that three issues of Green Arrow/Black Canary were called "Green Arrow", or rather, "Black Lantern Green Arrow", this could be V5... but I'm going to consider those Black Lantern issues to be just a "cover gimmick". Anyhow, the problem here is that according to Green Arrow, the events in JLA: Cry For Justice were six months ago... it doesn't jive with the rest of the DCU timeline right now...

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong too.

TITLE: Green Hornet (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Kevin Smith (writer).

DISSECTION: Come on Kevin, do you really expect us to believe that the Black Beauty can do MACH FIVE?!??!?! Five times the speed of sound?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Fantasy is one thing, ridiculousness is another.

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 49.

CULPRIT: Ardian Syaf (penciller).

DISSECTION: It gets stupid... John Stewart's badge is wrong to begin with, then it changes to another wrong shape, and then two a third shape...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, three times. And Kyle's badge is wrong too.

TITLE: Joker's Asylum II: Killer Croc (DC)

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mike Raicht (writer).

DISSECTION: Are we really supposed to believe that Killer Croc can work as enforcer for an upstart mob boss for two weeks without GCPD and Batman not hearing about it, while he performs bloody assassinations for his master?


TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).

DISSECTION: Okay, Tyroc has sonic powers, how the hell is he using them in space? Legionnaires can talk to each other in space because their flight rings have communication devices that are probably telepathic in part, or whatever other technology that works similarly... but how is he sonically blasting rocks in space?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Ultra Boy's power listing is incomplete, when Mon-El's detailed.

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 700.

CULPRIT: Bernard Chang (penciller).

DISSECTION: What's wrong here? And no, it's not Superman's horrible face...

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Batman's emblems are wrong in one story.
An average of 6.3 Bazzars in fifty three dissections is pretty normal around these parts... Now, Cover and Moments... Yeah, I know I'm easy, but this propaganda piece by Tony Harris and JD Mettler is the Cover Of The Week:

Russian propaganda posters are one of my weaknesses. First Moment Of The Week is the return of Tyroc:

What the hell? Couldn't he keep the 'fro or a modern uniform inspired by his classic one? Bald, and wearing that uniform, he looks like Synch. Next, watch out, Arcade!

Reality Warp Kid is coming after you!!! Then, something... unsettling...

Oookay... Now, what's the U.S.Agent up to since his rather gruesome fate during Siege?

Oh, a desk job! He doesn't want "actual" cybernetic implants because he doesn't want to be a cyborg like Nuke, the guy who maimed him... but he had not problem getting powers from the Power Broker. Next, if you thought Nick Fury was a bastard, check out Ultimate Nick Fury:

Oh no, he didn't! Then, from X-Men: Second Calling, Magneto battles the Nimrods... with his mostly metal asteroid as his weapon!

And last, Cypher "gets it":

It's just a matter of language, after all... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...



David said...

It's hard to tell where his left arm is---but it seems like at best he's holding her hand. Which means she should be dangling by that hand, because there's clearly nothing in the picture supporting her body.
Just because she's touching Superman doesn't mean she can fly, too---he has to carry her, as happens in every other Lois-and-Clark-flying scene I can remember.

Oh, and in the GLC dissection, the badge changes "to" a third shape.

MaGnUs said...

That's exactly it... even if he has some sort of telekinesis (it's always said that objects are lighter for him when he flies carrying them), this looks stupid.

And yeah, "to", "two. :) Typo. :)

Sidney said...

I saw another mistake. In the picture you posted of Tyroc, it says his home world is Marzal. That is so incorrect. His home world is Earth, Marzal is just an island. Of course, the writers of the new version of the Legion use and ignore things seemingly at random, so maybe Marzal is a planet in this continuity, but I personally feel it's wrong.

MaGnUs said...

You're absolutely right, I hadn't noticed that.

Snakebyte said...

Posting here because Coreburner is only giving me error message after error message.

Iron Fist does too do Kung Fu. Read the series. He says it ALL THE TIME.

"It gets stupid... John Stewart's badge is wrong to begin with, then it changes to another wrong shape, and then two a third shape..."

TO a third shape.

(Yes, I see they got this one here, I'm just posting the message I've been trying to post for ages in its entirety)

You also forgot to add a volume for Legion of Super-Heroes, though you included it earlier in the column.

"Ultra Boy's power listing is incomplete, when Mon-El's detailed."

When Mon-El's IS detailed?

"Then, from X-Men: Second Calling,"

That'd be Second COMING.

Getting sloppy, I see. :P

MaGnUs said...

I'm on vacation, and my wife had just returned from abroad. Sue me, I was late and rushed the column, posting it at 6 or 7 AM my time. I don't get paid, and I don't have an editor other than myself, and I don't have time to re-read my stuff.

About Iron Fist, if anyone writes him as doing kung fu, then they're wrong. First of all, kung fu is not a real martial art, the right name is wu shu. Having a real wu shu practicioner say they practice kung fu is awful. And secondly, while he might have learned wu shu, his main martial art styles, then one that define him, are K'un-Lun ones, which are not wu shu. Shang-Chi, however, is a master of "kung fu", for example.

The LSH volume thing, Mon-El's thing, and "Second Calling" have been noted, thanks for the heads-up on those.

Sidney said...

I found a mistake in the Boys #44, which came out today. On story page 8, the piping on the Homelander's pants disappears between panels 2 and 3.

MaGnUs said...

Thanks, thought stuff wasn't coming out until tomorrow.

Sidney said...

Well, I live in Canada and we got our books on Wednesday.

MaGnUs said...

Yeah, I figured as much. :)

Snakebyte said...

Everyone has written him as doing Kung Fu. He says that he does Kung Fu. As K'un Lun is not a real city, they can practice whatever damn martial art they like.