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[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"How does Batman keep his kid focused. Swear he drugs Robin's water." Christopher "Peacemaker" Smith, Blue Beetle V7 #19.
Well, here I am, struggling to finish this column and post it in time. Yes Dominik, I know I said I'd most likely have it up by Thor's Day, but work's been heavy.... So, straight into the Nitpicker's Picks Of The Week, alright? The best book of the week (this is 09/26) was Green Arrow Year One issue five, almost close to resolution, is a great story by Andy Diggle which makes Ollie's origin more believable, and Jock's art is suitably rugged. Yes, the mini could have lasted three or four issues instead of six, but it's still a good read.
The worst book of the week was Avengers: The Initiative #6, not because it was a bad story (it was OK), but because the art was horrible. Not technically bad, but an awful match for this kind of book, it looks like it belongs in some videogame comic book... Last column's Spot The Nit was indeed the fact that Bucky's hair should be brown, not blond. Two weeks in a row Miss Kitty Fantastico, and yet another HNSC badge for you! Nuff' said, cut the chatter, nits now!
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"THEY'RE BUILT ON METAPHYSICAL THINGYDIBOPS."
TITLE: 52 Aftermath: The Four Horsemen.
ISSUE: 02 of 06.
CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: The Horsemen are described as having "morphogenetic chassis, pathogens, ordnance"; and most of those things have nothing to with DC's definition of morphogenetic, the morphogenetic field being the "red" that characters like Animal Man and Vixen derive their powers from (or at least use their powers to tap into).
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"I USE MY POWERS TO GROW AND IMPRESS GIRLS!"
TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative.
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Steve Uy (penciller/inker/colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 7 Hank Pym and Tigra are shown jogging around Camp Hammond's perimeter, and their heights (not to mention Tigra being a skinny modelette, instead of the buxom babe she's normally drawn as) are incorrect. Pym is, naturally, 6', while Tigra is only 2 inches shorter, and in this page she looks about a head shorter.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!!!!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 31.
CULPRIT: Manuel Garcia (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yeah, exactly, Mary Marvel has no heels on her boots.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"FASHION CHANGES FROM WEEK TO WEEK."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 31.
CULPRIT: Manuel Garcia (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Una is now wearing different looking bracelets.
NIT-O-METER: 7, because they just can't keep it straight.
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"COLOR ME DIFFERENT."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 31.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Una's costume is colored a decidedly different shade of purple, almost blue.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"AH, YES, THERE'S MUCH BEAUTY IN WORLDWIDE CONCENTRATION CAMPS!"
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 02 of 08.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Miss Kitty Fantastico found this nit, earning one more HNSC badge: "One more nit for you, from this week's Countdown to Adventure #2: on the first page of the Forerunner story, Monarch narrates that "...with fifty-two universes come variations of historical timelines so that one place of horror is potentially offset by a place of beauty. In this case the latter..." Granted I don't know a whole lot about Monarch's character, but seeing as he's referring to a worldwide Nazi empire, I kind of think he meant 'former' rather than 'latter'."
Yeah, I'm kind of thinking that however warped his mind might be, the former Captain Atom wouldn't consider a Nazi empire a place of beauty.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"EETS OUR GEERMAN ACZENT!"
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 02 of 08.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer) and/or Pat Brosseau (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 26, first panel, one of the Nazi soldiers says "geet" instead of "get".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars.
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"HERE COMES THE (RAYLESS) SUN."
TITLE: Green Arrow Year One.
ISSUE: 05 of 06.
CULPRIT: Jock (penciller/inker).
NIT-TO-PICK: On the spread formed by pages 9 and 10, Ollie discover that the island houses an abandoned WWII Japanese sub pen (or submarine base); which has a dam of sorts. The dam has a Japanese flag painted on it, problem is, it's the Nisshōki or Hinomaru; that is, the official flag of Japan, the one which is a red sun disc on a white background. The Imperial Japanese Navy (and almost all military divisions Japan has had since 1889) have used the flag commonly referred to as the Imperial Flag, the one with a number of rays coming out of the sun disk; with the most common variant being Hachijō-Kyokujitsuki (still in use today by the Japan Self-Defense Forces, except for their air division).
So, you see, particularly in WWII, a Japanese sub pen would have the Hachijō-Kyokujitsuki or a variant as their ensign, and not the "civilian" flag. Little known fact: although the Hinomaru, in one shape or another, was widely adopted as Japan's flag in 1854 (and has been in use by since the 12th century), the flag wasn't officially adopted until 1999. In that year, several teachers at a Hiroshima Prefecture high school graduation ceremony refused to participate in the raising of the flag and singing of Kimi ga Yo (the Japanese anthem). The school principal, caught between the demands of the Ministry of Education and the teachers, eventually committed suicide. The incident renewed interest in the official status of the national anthem and the national flag, which culminated in the proposal and passage of this Proclamation No. 127, which officially instituted the flag and anthem as official..
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"TELEPATHIC SWITCHEROO?"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Oliver Queen (the playboy-turned-vigilante from the previous nit) chats in a bar with a human-morphed J'onn Jonzz, but their speech balloons in the last panel of page five are switched around, and then on the first panel of the following page, the balloon that says "Good eye." doesn't make sense coming out of Ollie.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"ARTHUR CURRY, WARLORD OF MARS!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 13, panel 4, there's supposed to be two sets of speech balloons, but what Martian Manhunter says is not pointed at him, and joined to Aquaman's balloons. It makes Aquaman say "the kind of piece my people saw on Mars."
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"YOUR HANDS SMELL LIKE FISH!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Aquaman's gloves are missing.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"FASTER THAN LIGHTNING!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page still, Flash's belt and glove lightings are uncolored on panel 4.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, just because he keeps screwing up on the same page.
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"I'M JUST WINGING IT."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: One more time, same page, Flash's boots are missing the wings.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, keep on going Rick!
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"I'M SO FAST, I CHANGE COLORS!"
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yet again the same page, Flash's boots are colored red instead of yellow.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"GREEN, NOT WHITE, LANTERN."
TITLE: JLA: Classified.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, the same goddamn page! And I.L.L. didn't want to contribute just one of the six, yes, six, nits on this single page, so he put in the sixth one. On panel four, Green Lantern's boots are colored white instead of green. I think six nits on a single page is some kind of record...
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. I bet if I keep staring at this page, I'm gonna find even more nits...
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"STILL DYING IT."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker) and/or Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Ted Grant's hair is black, when it should be brown with white/grey temples.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"MUSICAL CHAIRS."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page three, seating arrangement shifts from panel to panel.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"I ROLLED IT UP SO EVERYONE CAN SEE I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Stargirl's tank top covers her belly, but by the next page it's a top that bares her midriff, plus the neckline is different, the star on the top is not the same size, and she's ripped, with more abdominal muscles she's ever been portrayed with.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WERNHER VON BRAUN, SS ÜBERKOMMANDO!"
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: So, according to Nelson, Wernher von Braun was a member of the SS, and thus, a hardcore Nazi and friends with the SS's commander, Heimrich Himmler. Actually, he just held an honorary rank, and Himmler had him under surveillance since 1943, and had him arrested in 1944 because von Braun was making difficult for Himmler to take control of the V-2 program. He probably wasn't a good guy, since some accounts said he didn't care about the slave labor used in the V-2 production plants, but still, there's a long way from there to being SS hardcore.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?"
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and/or Ken Lopez.
NIT-TO-PICK: Page six, Mr. Terrific (Michael Holt) calls Dr. Mid-Nite (Pieter Cross) "Michael". That, or the speech balloons are not clear or just plain switched around... still creating confusion.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"MILDLY COLD WAR."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Terrific (or Dr. Mid-Nite, depending on those crazy word balloons) says that von Braun's defection to the US happened during the Cold War. It was in 1945, which I wouldn't call the height of the Cold War, which most historians agree began after WWII, in 1947.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"BEFORE YOUR TIME, PUP."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Whoever mentions the Cold War, says "it's hard to explain how scary it was." Cold War or not (since it was 1945), whether it was Mr. Terrific or Dr. Mid-Nite, neither of them was alive at the time, not if they're supposed to be in their thirties or even their forties.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"UUUUH.... MULTIPLE EARTHS CONFUSE ME!!!"
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and Alex Sanchez (penciller/inker).
NIT-TO-PICK: Talking about a possible air attack on the U.S.A. by Nazi Germany, it's mentioned that even if the Germans could mass produce bombers capable of reaching America, U.S. superhero teams would destroy them before they were able to bomb the country... and they show Superman destroying the planes!!! It's World War II people, Superman wasn't around, it's not Earth-2!
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. God, what the fuck are these people on?
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"GROUP SHOT."
TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Ok, I get that covers can be symbolic and all that... but there are some villains who just can't be here. I grant you that, say, Major Force may have escaped from that Phantom Zone like disk thingy Kyle put him in, or that Granny Goodness is pulling double duty, what with her faux Amazons and all that jazz.. But Black Adam doesn't have powers anymore, wherever he is; Validus is a Legion of Superheroes enemy who won't be born for another 1000 years, if ever; and Felix Faust is trapped inside Dr. Fate's tower. There's probably more villains I don't keep track off there that shouldn't be on that cover.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, they're putting characters in the cover that not only shouldn't be there, aren't in the book at all.
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"NO MCDUFFIE, THIS IS NOT JLU, BATMAN IS NOT GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH WONDER WOMAN."
TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 3, Batman claims that Wonder Woman is "the best melee fighter in the world"; which is doubtful, because there's several characters who can kick her ass, even with less strength.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"OK, WHO THE FUCK'S BEEN PLAYING WITH THE STOLEN PYM PARTICLES?"
TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: The spread of pages 4 and 5 looks awful, not only the anatomies are all screwed up, but the sizes are too. Gorilla Grodd has never been a gigantic ape as wide as five people, plus he's only four inches taller than Lex Luthor, who wearing a suit of Gigantic-Manga-Feet(TM) armor, stand two (human) heads shorter than Grodd, Also, Dr. Light's height is 5'11", yet he stands half a head taller than Joker's 6'5", and a head taller than Cheetah's 5'9". Then, on page 17, Grodd is again gigantic when compared to Dr. Light and Cheetah, and the wrong height difference between the latter two is still there.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, for the clusterfuck, and I'm counting it as two nits.
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"HE'S THE BLACK LANTERN."
TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, I'm willing to accept some of Dwayne McDuffie's JLUization of this book, because the show was cool... even if he's replacing Hal Jordan with John Stewart. But Pete Pantazis, it's only in the cartoon that John Stewart has green eyes, got it? His eyes are black.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"MIGHTY MORPHING KILLER FROST!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller) and Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Killer Frost looks very different from the last time she was shown, only two weeks ago, different hair length, different length of the fur like parts of her costume, different cut and color of costume,.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"SCIENCE IS HARD!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page fourteen, Poison Ivy attacks Green Lantern (John Stewart) by multiplying part of his intestinal flora (mycobacterium paratuberculosis, to be precise)... but intestinal flora, despite its name, it's made of plants, it's made of bacteria.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, dammit, if you wanna do science fiction, read up on science. Anyone who's finished high school and paid some attention should know that intestinal flora is made of bacteria.
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"SIPHON THIS, YOU VIXEN!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America.V2.
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Superman says on page sixteen that Vixen siphons powers from other superhumans; but her powers don't siphon (which would imply the other characters losing part of their powers), they mimic.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"WELL, TECHNICALLY..."
TITLE: (Supergirl And The) Legion of Super-Heroes V5.
ISSUE: 34.
CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page one, Atom Girl's power is indicated as "size-changing ability", when she can only shrink.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"NITPICKER OR NIT-PICKER?"
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: Various.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: I've occasionally written "superheroes" instead of "super-heroes"; now, as a term, I didn't think it would be a problem, and it's not, since "superhero" is a valid word. Yes, "Super Hero" and its plural are a joint trademark owned by DC and Marvel (and they've also trademarked the hyphened version, or tried to); but "superhero" is the actual dictionary word. Still, the Legion is called "Legion Of Super-Heroes", including the hyphen, and I've been writing it wrongly occasionally.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, I should know how to write the name of one of my favorite comics...
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"SPOT THIS ONE, AGAIN WITH 100% FEMALE CONTENT."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Check out this panel, and tell me what's wrong:
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.<-------------------------------->
"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT NAMOR'S SISTER?"
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Allan Heinberg (writer) and/or Terry Dodson (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: How is Queen Clea flying?
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"YOU'VE ALREADY SPOTTED IT."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Cheetah is missing her spots on her face, arms, and visible parts of her torso, only to have some of them on page seven.
NIT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, for lack intra-issue consistency.
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"OLD TIMES' SAKE."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: The cavalry arrives on pages 8-9, and Green Arrow (Ollie) is wearing his Robin Hood cap, when he's been wearing a hood for a long time now.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WHO GAVE POWERS TO THE STRIPPER?"
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Allan Heinberg (writer) and/or Terry Dodson (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same spread, Starfire is there, she shouldn't have her powers. And this time I'm right without a doubt, because this happens shortly after 52.
NIT-O-METER: 10 doubts.
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"STILL RUNNING SO FAST I CHANGE BOOT COLORS."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Ending spread of the main story, pages 24-25, Flash's boots are colored red instead of yellow.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WHAT'S NEXT, SARGE STEEL'S JLA?"
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Allan Heinberg (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: The backup story says that Nemesis served with "Sarge Steel's Suicide Squad"; but Steel never actually lead the Squad, he just oversaw it. Furthermore, Steel oversaw the Squad (along with Checkmate and other agencies) after the Janus Directive storyline, and Nemesis left the team well before that. He did rejoin it during the Phoenix Gambit arc; and for one mission, the Squad was still technically under Steel's jurisdiction, but that doesn't make Nemesis part of "Sarge Steels's Suicide Squad".
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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Wow, the average Bazzars this week is 6.9... I toned down a few costume errors from 7 to 6, if not we'd reached the 7.0 easily. I know I had a few 10s this week, but I swear, I'm still walking the line (to quote the great Johnny Cash) between overbazzaring and underscoring. Look at that, this column was all DC except for the one Marvel... odd, isn't it?
This week we have another Dayamn! moment that is sure to cause the same reaction on my readers than it did on me. If Black Adam can punch through some guy's head, and bungee jump with the innards of the Yeti he just gutted, why can't the original anti-hero pissed off monarch do something like that? Of course he can, Venom rips off some of Namor's ankle wings, so Namor retaliates by "catching" Venom’s tongue.... and ripping it off!
That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...THE NITPICKER!
