Friday, December 28, 2007

The Dissector #54.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Dammit Cindy! I can't fight foreign invaders in a Steely Dan T-shirt!" Max Keane, The Programme #06.

Weeeeelcoooome to the last column of the year! I hope this was a good year for you all, and if it wasn't, I hope next year's better. Straight into this week's content, last column's Dissect This! was busted by Miss Kitty Fantastico, who correctlyt pointed out that Salakk's name was misspelled as "Salaak". Badge for you, MKF! This is the last week to vote for the Autopsy Awards, by the way, so if you haven't voted, check out the nominees and e-mail your votes here.

The Dissector's Pick Of The Week For Best Book Of The Week was The Order #06, not a particularly outstanding book, but a good read overall, and a better balance to the character origin / moving the story forward format writer Matt Fraction has been giving us until now. The art by Barry Kitson, with inks by Mark Morales and Scott Koblish, and colors by Jelena Kevic Djurdjevic and Soto, is very good, with detailed mecha and monster designs, and believable (if stylized) human figures.

The Worst Book Of The Week was Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: Orions, and not because it was a bad book, but rather because it utterly misses its point. It had an entertaining, if completely unoriginal script by Scott and David Tipton, and nice art by Elena Casagrande, colored by Mirco Pierfederici. However, this books fails completely at providing any spotlight on the Orions, showing only one Orion female (and another one in a flashback), and she's not even in about three-quarters of the book! We're supposed to be learning about these alien species, not about Christopher Pike. Well then, on with the dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"O ERROR MAIS RECURRENTE DO MUNDO!"

TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Travis Lanham (letterer).

DISSECTION: The first caption box has the Checkmate symbol obscuring the first part, and you can only guess that it reads "7", although it might be "17". Also, on the roll call, Fire's last name is once more spelled "Dacosta" instead of "da Costa".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"THIS IS THE KIND OF TAN YOU GET OUTSIDE THE OZONE LAYER!"

TITLE: Countdown Presents: The Search For Ray Palmer: Superwoman-Batwoman (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Kanila Tripp (colorist).

DISSECTION: On the cover, and in most of the book, Green Lantern (Kylie Rayner) is colored as if she's human, but on the Justice League's monitors (page five) she's definitely colored purple, as if alien.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU KNOW, GREEN LANTERN COSTUMES ARE LIKE THAT..."

TITLE: Countdown Presents: The Search For Ray Palmer: Superwoman-Batwoman (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Kalman Andrasofzsky (penciller pages 1-13, 15-17).

DISSECTION: Not only is Green Lantern's skin colored differently, her costume is not the same in the monitor as in the rest of the issue. And no, it's not because it's a separate penciller, because Andrasofszky also pencils page ten, and her costume is different there.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"JUST CALL ME AUNTIE GOODNESS."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).

DISSECTION: Granny Goodness is yet again drawn to young and svelte. So, on another note, it's revealed that the island Granny is using as Themiscyra is Themiscyra itself, complete with hiding Hippolyta... but still, all that was said previously doesn't jive well, so my previous dissections on the matter still stand.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STRESS IS MESSING MY 'DO UP."

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 839.

CULPRIT: Ryan Benjamin and/or Don Kramer (pencillers).

DISSECTION: Merlyn is not bald, he has a definite widow's peak, but he's not bald.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BUTLER, MEDIC, NINJA!"

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 839.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

DISSECTION: Alfred is not a ninja, he can't help defend kung-fuesque monks from Demon Head cult ninjas!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"HOLY DISSECTIONS BATMAN!"

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 839.

CULPRIT: Ryan Benjamin and/or Don Kramer (pencillers).

DISSECTION: Check out this image below, tell me what's wrong:



DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MORPH... YES, THAT'S HIM..."

TITLE: Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 100.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor) and/or Mark Paniccia (senior editor).

DISSECTION: Cast of characters at the beginning of the book, absolutely no mention of Morph not being really Morph. Oh, and of course, this is the last issue, because we definitely need a New Exiles title now...

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOOK INTO THE EYES OF THE GODS!"

TITLE: The Incredible Hulk V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 112.

CULPRIT: Khoi Pham & Stephane Peru (artists).

DISSECTION: Ares' eyes lacks pupils during most of the book, if not all. This dissection was brought to you by Dominik B., he gets another badge.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"MOOSE, BUT NOT BAUMANN."

TITLE: Jughead & Friends Digest (Archie).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Adam Walmsley (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jughead's T-shirt is miscolored on page 2, panel 3. Thanks to Shad for reporting this, badge for him.

DISSECT-O-METER:
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"WHITE BOOTS? REALLY?"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller).

DISSECTION: Guy Gardner's drawn with his old haircut, plus, his boots are colored white.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for the haircut.
<-------------------------------->
"KYLE WHO?"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie

DISSECTION: Guy Gardner says he's holding the Tangent Green Lantern for Kyle until "he comes back". He's not only back, but he's your partner now.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"QUIVER, ARROW, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie

DISSECTION: The Atom (from Tangent) breaks Red Arrow's bow, yet on page 13 he says "he broke my quiver", and his quiver is obviously intact, while his holding the two halves of his broken bow (shout out to all Star Trek fans!).

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!"

TITLE: Madame Mirage (Top Cow).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

DISSECTION: So, a technology so sophisticated it can converse with people almost as if it were sentient, and can project solid holograms, among many other things, but it crashes when you use a reference to a movie it hasn't seen?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"AMAZING, IT WASN'T MOOSE!"

TITLE: Metamorpho: Year One (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 06.

CULPRIT: Lee Loughridge (colorist).

DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's gloves are colored green instead of white.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WASSAPENING SIMONES?"

TITLE: New X-Men V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Will Panzo & Daniel Ketchum (assistant editors) and/or Nick Lowe (editor).

DISSECTION: Simone Bianchi, penciller for cover "B", is billed as "Simones" in the credits page.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"I JUST KICKED THEM SHOES OFF TO DANCE BETTER!"

TITLE: New X-Men V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).

DISSECTION: Hepzibah was wearing boots last week, now she's barefoot.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"I'M SLOUCHING."

TITLE: She-Hulk V2.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Shawn Moll (penciller).

DISSECTION: She-Hulk is drawn too short.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WHAT DEPARTMENT DO YOU BELONG TO, AGAIN?"

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four (IDW Publishing).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Steve Conley (artist).

DISSECTION: I'm tired of no department markings on the badges.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"BOOT, AND REBOOT."

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 671.

CULPRIT: Peter Vale (penciller).

DISSECTION: Alright, I can't keep counting everything as dissections, but I hate references to Lana Lang having live parents when she was a teen, or her father being a banker, etc, etc. ARGH!!!!

*Sigh* ... In this case, my problem is that Vale decides to draw Superman's boots with defined soles and heels, when they don't have any.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TO THE MOON, ALICE, TO THE MOON!"

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 671.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: Superman pitches AND bats a homerun for charity, sending a ball on a slow, one-month ascent to the moon, to hit on a target. He says he didn't send it faster, because he'd "punch a hole right through the moon". Nope, as hard as Superman can hit, he'd probably destroy the baseball AND the bat, and if not, the ball would disintegrate against the moon. No matter how hard you hit a wall with a glass bottle, it's still a glass bottle.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"SOMEBODY SAAAAAVE MEEEE!"

TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).

ISSUE: Michael Green (writer).

CULPRIT: Alright, I can't complain (as a dissection, I sure as hell can rant, but don't have the energy for it right now) about the fact that they've Smalvillized Superman (there was tons of Kryptonite in Smalville during his teens, there was a freak of the week caused by it, etc.)

But I sure as hell can complain about the fact that there's people selling kryptonite engagement rings, when it gives radiation poisoning. Or are we ignoring ALL of Superman continuity between COIE and INFINITE CRISIS now?!?!?

DISSECTION: 10 Bazzars.

DISSECT-O-METER:
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"I AM NAMOR, AND I'M BACK TO MY OLD TRICKS!"

TITLE: The Order V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).

DISSECTION: This issue contradicts what's been going on with Namor lately

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S CHECKING IT TWICE..."

TITLE: Various DC books (DC).

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Dan DiDio (senior VP/executive editor).

DISSECTION: The Christmas wish list in the DC Nation section at the end of the books, has several wishes that are just plain wrong. I mean, why would Red Tornado wish for a family to call his own, when he already wants one? Or Superman for a new place to call home?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. This is just like those stupid Nick Fury files things over at Marvel...
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"iVENGERS."

TITLE: What If? Civil War (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Harvey Tolibao (artist).

DISSECTION: Why would the Avengers use Macs, when they've got Stark tech?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"I REALIZE DUGAN SPEAKS TOUGH, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS."

TITLE: World War Hulk Aftersmash: Warbound

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak (writer) and/or VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

DISSECTION: Another one by Dominik B., this time Dum Dum Dugan says, on page 20, "You're" instead of "Your".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
This week's average was 6.5 Bazzars, basically within our usual averages range. Moments Of The Week! First up, the original Masters Of Evil hold a shadow puppet contest:


Either that, or they're practicing their mad rapping skillz. Then, what do you do if you're a quadriplegic former marine surrounded by giant mutant scorpions, and your mecha breaks down? Why, you open it manually, say "Semper Fi" and blast the hell out of them critters with your .45s!


And last, but not least, Dan DiDio's Christmas' list for the DC heroes and villains:


At first I thought he was once more denying the fans of what they've been asking, but then I realized that he's actually fueling the fires of speculation on Spoiler's return. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

PS: Happy New Year!

11 comments:

Justin Garrett Blum said...

Oh yeah. Look at that. Nightwing's chest pattern has a horizontal bar in it that doesn't belong.

Not that anybody asked me, but...I like Nightwing's costume design in general, but that v-shape tends to vary in appearance from artist to artist and, for me, it's a little too abstract to still evoke the winged look that, I think, it's supposed to evoke. To be honest, my favorite version of the costume was the animated series version, where the front v was an actual bird logo.

Delvin said...

I was beat to it, but Nightwing's emblem is all sorts of jacked up.

I also wanted to add, since you mentioned the Nick Fury files, that there is one about Spider-Man that's just badly wrong. It says he has to double tap his web shooters in order for them to work. Well, maybe when he used web shooters but they are organic now and have been for a while.

Delvin Williams

Ultimate Spider-Man made the same mistake recently. Pete was complaining about not having his web-shooters and he should never have had web-shooters; he was bitten by the spider that had Oz and was given web shooters internally.

MaGnUs said...

That's exactly it Justin, Nightwing's emblem is wrong.

And Delvin, the Fury files say that he "had" to tap them, as in the past. And Ultimate Spidey does not have natural webs. Thanks for the comments, guys.

Delvin said...

It did state that, at the beginning of the article, that 'Nick Fury had personally collected' the files, but the sentence about the web shooters says 'To activate his web-shooters, Spider-Man must double-tap them'. Doesn't indicate past tense. It is nitpicky, though, pun intended.

MaGnUs said...

Hehe, I was quoting from memory. But yeah, those Fury files include information that's irrelevant, incorrect, or from the real world.

In any case, it remains to be seen that if post-OMD, Pete retains powers gained from The Other storyline and the Queen Bee or whatever her name was storyline.

Miss Kitty Fantastico said...

Merry Christmas, happy new year, and so on :) I know I've been beat to the punch on DT several times over, but it says something about the artist that even I saw there was something wrong with Nightwing's costume at first glance.

Also, got a minor dissection for your Moment of the Week: Milo's a paraplegic, not a quadriplegic, since only his legs were affected by his injury, not all four limbs. I'm not saying he couldn't take out a bunch of mutant scorpions with just his jaw, because he's proper tough...

And to give you a heads-up for a future column - unless they fix it in the meantime (which has been known to happen), Cyclone's costume is wrong - again - on the cover of JSA #14, solicited in this month's Previews. Her tank top's gone walkabout again. I'm seriously starting to entertain the possibility that her costume is Everyman in hiding.

Delvin said...

Yeah, Marvel did that 'Other' storyline, then they did the JMS storyline that accomplished the exact same thing. Weird.

As much as a couple months ago, when Pete was bitch slapping (let me know if cursing is not allowed here) Kingpin he was shooting webs out of his arms. I think they did that to tie in to the movies.

MaGnUs said...

MKF: Thanks for the seasons greetings, and just this once, you let somebody else get the DT :P

You're right about Milo... I just confused the terms, I know it's just his legs. Badge for you for calling me on this.

I'll have a look at JSA's cover when it comes out, but about Everyman hiding as Cyclone's costume... not many better hiding places, as a friend of mine would say "onomnomnom" (read with a munchkin kind of voice).

Delvin, cursing is indeed allowed here, as long as we refrain from racial slurs and sexual choice intolerance. But I prefer the term pimp slapping :>.

But yep, I do think too that the organic webbing was done to tie into the movies... I think not having Pete create his own webshooters robs him of his scientific genius. I mean, he's not Tony Stark or Reed Richards, but he IS a genius.

MaGnUs said...

Update, update.... Domink B. did the DT first over at the ICS forums....

MaGnUs said...

I got the following via e-mail, from long time reader Jonathan "Spot" Stopek:

"In the Salaak panel, I've tried and tried, but can't
seem to find any misspellings.
I agree with you about the ring forging thing, though."


and...

Because, of course, they spelled his NAME wrong! Good eye!


Thanks Jonathan!

MaGnUs said...

Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:

Guest: About Superman hitting (or not hitting) a baseball thru the moon. Glass bottle against a wall? Ever heard of hurricane or tornado winds driving a STRAW thru a TREE? It can happen. It's a matter of speed. If something moves fast enough it can penetrate things a lot more solid than it is.