Friday, November 20, 2009

The Dissector #140.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Your mother's so fat, Hank Pym had to beat her up in the back of a Quinjet." Deadpool, king of Yo Mamma contests, The Amazing Spider-Man 611.

Here we are, this is the column for books released on 11/11; minus a few I haven't received yet. No one caught the DT! from last column; the problem was that Nightcrawler teleports someone (Blizzard, I think) into a wall... Nightcrawler's powers don't work that way, to teleport someone into a wall he has to teleport himself into it.

Now, what are this week's Dissector's Picks Of The Week? I'll be quick; Best Book Of The Week was Gravel #15, as I've said before, he's like a John Constantine who can kick your ass without magic. Worst Book Of The Week was Red Robin #6; the art is a bit better, but it's still a bland book. Not horrible, though, just the weakest book this week.

Here's The Rundown: Action Comics (Lois Lane gets her eyes colored black), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Araña's hair and eyes should be brown, not orange), Batman (Batman and Robin get the wrong costumes, Kate Spencer's eyes are wrong, as is the Riddler's hair), Cable V2 (Hope's eye color is wrong, the word "calculation" is spelled "caclulations"), The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (twenty-eight writing and/or lettering language dissections), The Phantom: Ghost Who Walks (bad punctuation in an ad), R.E.B.E.L.S. ("Cigi" instead of "Ciji", Hal Jordan's badge and ring drawn wrong), Realm Of Kings: Imperial Guard ("assmbly"?), Tank Girl: Skidmarks (accented letter), Titans V2 (Red Arrow's hair should be red, not blond, and his boots are wrong), X-Men Vs. Agents Of Atlas (Namor's eyes should be grey, not blue; Warren's costume is wrong, and Nightcrawler's German is incorrect). Dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S A STRIPPER PAINTED SILVER."

TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer).

DISSECTION: Captain Atom can't be present at Ted Kord's funeral; he's either in the Wildstorm universe, or traipsing around the Bleed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, J'onn Jonzz belt emblem is not an atom symbol, Hal Jordan's emblem is wrong, Guy Gardner's hair is wrong, and the eye color for Flash, Rip Hunter, and Donna Troy are wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"CIUDADANO EQUIS."

TITLE: Citizen Rex (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: 05 of 06.

CULPRIT: Mario or Gilbert Hernandez (letterers).

DISSECTION: Shame on you Hernandez Brothers! You are Hispanic, and you should know better than to make accented letters smaller. Fuck, I'm really pissed about this: ÁAÉEÍIÓOÚUÂAÄAÀAÅAÊEËEÈEÏIÎIÌIÔOÖOÒOÛUÙUÖOÜU!!!! THEY'RE ALL THE SAME SIZE!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTOR CORPS."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 42.

CULPRIT: Peter Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: STOP!!! Don't read this dissection, go check the second Moment Of The Week, then come back.

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

S


W

A

R

N

I

N

G

Done? Okay, Kyle Rayner dies, and his ring says ""Green Lantern 2814 deceased"... Kyle and Guy are from Space Sector 2814, as Terrans, but they're not 2814 lanterns. Hal and John are 2814.1 and 2814.2; Guy and Hal are part of the Honor Guard, which is not something that depends on their sector of origin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, your regular wrong badges on Kilowog and Guy Gardner.
<-------------------------------->
"B.E.A.S.T."

TITLE: S.W.O.R.D. (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Steven Sanders (penciller).

DISSECTION: You know, it helps to check character references when working on a comic issue. Beast looks like this, according to Sanders:


Uhm... WHAT??!?!?!? He looks like one of the multiple versions of Star Wars' Bothans.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, if Lockheed is assigned to the Stiletto Zero (a S.W.O.R.D. spaceship), how does he end up on the other ship with McCoy and Brand?
<-------------------------------->
"RISKY BUSSINESS"

TITLE: X-Force V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Clayton Crain (colorist).

DISSECTION: Say, Clayton, why would a person whose mother was Native American, and his father Cuban, have blue eyes? Risque's eyes should be brown, not blue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, "ncreasing", instead of "increasing"? Bastion's speech processors are broken.
<-------------------------------->
"CLAREMONT FOREVER."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Check this one out. And it's not precisely the use of the word "tovarishti", although it's more often Romanized as "tovarishchi".


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KRYS KLAREMONT."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Chris, Chris, Chris... it's Illyana Nikolievna Rasputina (or Rasputin, Romanization options again), not Nikovna...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Of course, there's a few accented letters that are smaller than they should be, and Ororo's eyes are blank when she's not using her powers; while the Black Widow's eyes should be green, not blue.
<-------------------------------->
We ended up with a 6.4 Bazzars average in seventy-two dissections... that's a heap of dissections... of course, we had "The Good, The Bad..."; imagine if we had a Zorro issue on the same week! Cover of the week was pretty much a given:


I can't draw, but I know that deciding how to make this cover was pretty easy, but it doesn't stop me from liking it. Now, Moments Of The Week!!! First up, Tony Bedard scares me:


In a good way, because I'm not in the DC Universe. Vril Dox with a power ring!!! Speaking of power rings:


Whoa... I don't know if it's going to stick, but... whoa... Now, one of the little details that make Gravel a good British book:


I laughed; a measured and controlled laugh, but I laughed. Speaking of Britons:


Hellboy draws Excalibur!!! Now, the sequence from which our Quote Of The Week came from:


I laughed hard this time. Almost done with these Moments, Zero shows us a neat trick:


I'll remember it for my roleplaying sessions... And for a grand finale, speaking of RPGs:


Gary Jackson Lives!!!

That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

6 comments:

Emerre said...

They left an < open, is that the dissection?

MaGnUs said...

No, that's good point, they left two brackets open... but that's not it. You still get a badge for pointing that out...

Emerre said...

YEAH!

Donald313 said...

Is that a mistake, leaving < open and not closing it >?
I seem to remember when reading english prose and a person is speaking for more than one... caption (? don´t know the correct word, in german it´s "Absatz"), it was the usual m.o. to begin every block of text with that sign (< or << or " or whatever) to indicate it´s still spoken by that person, and when the speech is over, there is one end sign (> or >> or " or whatever). And seeing as this is one long speech by Natasha in three connected balloons it looks correct to me?

But that´s not my guess for the dissection. Might be that they use the russian word in the english translation in the brackets. Everything else is english, so why use tovarishti?

I hope it´s not the small e on eBay :)

Emerre said...

Yes, Donald, doing that in a dialogue is a mistake. You can do what you say while writung narrative, but in dialogues you must open and close the bracket in every speech ballon.
In any case, if you want to open a bracket at he beginning of the character's speach and close it at the end, you do that in every baloon, not in some of them.

MaGnUs said...

Donald: It's indeed the Russian word inside the translation brackets. If you're using "< >"; American comic book shorthand for "translated dialogue", then "tovarishti" inside is wrong.