DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"She was beautiful, I'll give him that. But to be smitten with someone who isn't me? The very idea of it makes me want to strangle children. Then again, what doesn't?" The Joker, Joker's Asylum II: The Riddler.
Late, I know... but it's the Football World Cup's fault! After a lackluster debut match where Uruguay tied, with no goals, with France, I bring you the column for comics released on 06/03; plus few older stuff... like Scott Pilgrim. Man, I didn't know anything about this comic except for the fact that it existed... then I saw the second trailer for the movie, and I HAD to read the comics. So I got my hands on the five (out of six) volumes published, plus the FCBD special... and I read them in like, a week. Very funny, great (if simplistic) art, and a straightforward but perfectly crafted story. I heartily recommend it... around 800 pages and only TWO dissections, and they were accented letters!
So, who cracked the DT! last week? Donald313, who correctly pointed out that it was weird that Poison Ivy was all dehydrated in the... well, dehydration chamber, but the little sprout she had in her pocket was all fresh... The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Hawkeye & Mockingbird #1... was it an amazing story? No, but it was well-written. Is the art Earth-shattering? Nope, but it's clean, dynamic, and tells the story well. My congratulations to writer Jim McCann, penciller David López, inker Alvaro López, colorist Nathan Fairbairn, and letterer Cory Petit for a very well done book.
Worst Book Of The Week? Heralds #1... pointless book to get female characters together for this whole Women Of Marvel thing, and it's got a weak story. Tonci Zonjic's art is good for this kind of girly book, but I found it a bit too bland this time around; while writer Kathryn Immonen is highly irregular, wowing me one week with a story, and boring me the next one with a different tale...
The Rundown: Adventure Comics V1 (RJ Brande talks like Apu), The Amazing Spider-Man (Stan Lee's eyes should be blue), Avengers Prime (Maria Hill's hair is wrong), Avengers: The Origin ("mirco" instead of "micro"), Brightest Day (Hawkman's eyes and hair are wrong), Captain America/Black Panther: Flags Of Our Fathers (wrong German, accented letters, and a sign in English in Wakanda), Cavewoman Extinction ("Dios' mio"), Darkstar And The Winter Guard (an accented letter in the old backup story), G.I. Joe Origins (it's "punto y banca", not "... y banco"), Heralds (accented letter), JSA All-Stars (Atom Smasher and Ted Grant get their hair colored incorrectly, and a hologram of Damage has blank eyes, even with his mask off), Red Hood: The Lost Days ("affect" instead of "effect"), Scott Pilgrim (accented letters), Superman/Batman (Luthor's eyes change color between panels).
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"DISSECTORG."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 57.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: My reader Sidney noticed that on four occasions I spelled Marvel Handbook writer Michael Hoskin's last name "Hosking". Badge for you, Sidney.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each.
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"RIDDLE ME THIS, RIDDLE ME THAT... WHO'S WEARING THE MANTLE OF THE BAT?"
TITLE: Joker's Asylum II: The Riddler (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Andres Guinaldo (penciller).
DISSECTION: If you're going to tell a flashback story, to when the Riddler wasn't a detective, don't dress Batman with Dick Grayson's current costume... since it's Bruce.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Not only Guinaldo does that, but he draws the bat emblems wrong. Plus, Riddler's hair is brown, when it should be black.
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"SPOT WHAT WAS SPOTTED!"
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 39.
CULPRIT: Jesus Merino (penciller).
DISSECTION: Roy noticed this one, badge for him... but see if you can spot it:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WHAT, THESE OLD TOYS?"
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 39.
CULPRIT: Bill Willingham (writer).
DISSECTION: You know what big flaw I find in this story? That the purported Darkness Engine works to negate superpowers, be they magical, technological, or biological in origin... including Green Lantern rings and Reach scarabs... but the super mecha armors the nazis have in the concentration camp work perfectly? Sorry, I don't buy that much...
It's made very clear that they kept it restricted to North America when they wanted to send their Nazi metahumans to crush rebellion in Europe and South America... plus, it's pretty obvious that if you have super mecha armors inside the camp guarding the metahumans whose powers you want to keep negated... well, it's spelled out.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"HANDBOOK MADNESS."
TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe Hardcover (Marvel).
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Madison Carter (writer).
DISSECTION: Sidney found a buttload of errors in this Handbook; the worst one was in the Zodiac entry, were the character identified as Aquarius is actually Pisces. HAH!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars; and a whopping total of twelve errors in this book... and those are only the ones Sidney found. He gets himself more badges, and gets promoted to Lieutenant!
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"CYCLOPS SMASH!"
TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: Giant-Size 01
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer) or Mike Grell (penciller)
DISSECTION: Don't tell me Gladiator has powers based on his self-confidence and yadda yadda... I know that. Why the hell is Cyclops punching Gladiator? Instead of, you know, letting loose with those mega-destructive eyebeams he has?
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. There are also several other mistakes, blank eyes for no reason, accented letters, etc... and the background old story by Claremont (art by Byrne) claims Wolverine weights 70 kilos...
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Fifty-two dissections (52, there's that number again...) give us a 6.6 Bazzars average... there were a few 10s; but I guess everything has to be awfully high in order for the average to go up dramatically... Now, Cover Of The Week is by a regular, and from the Best Book Of The Week... Jelena Kevic-Djurdevic gives us Mockingbird:
Feminine, and intimidating at the same time... Moments of The Week, Mockingbird's husband can shoot an arrow at a bullet!
Pure awesomeness!!! Then, Scott Pilgrim might have kick-ass videogame fights, but it's the little human moments, the funny ones and the romantic or dramatic ones, that actually make the story so great... and here's one of the funny ones:
BACON! And speaking of awesome things.... not:
Marvel finally gets a character named Tesla, and he's a mullet-sporting "renegade scientist"??!?!? I CRY FOUL! And for the last Moment Of The Week, have you ever wondered why don't other, more respectable heroes come out and say "Hey, Spider-Man is a good guy! Stop badmouthing him!" Here's why:
Spidey's afraid he'll drag them down... or at least was in the beginning, and sealed his fate. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
12 comments:
Is the DT! that Baroness Blitzkrieg seems to have gone through a sex-change and is now Baron Blitzkrieg (as the original was)?
No, it's not that.
The Union Jack is wrong. I don´t know how to describe it correctly. It´s a red cross (St. George´s cross) with a white "coast" for lack of a better term, then there are the red "X"-Lines, not this strange thing in red with eight thingies, you know what I mean.
That's another good one, the St. Andrew's cross (that's the "X") is a bit too thick, but I'm gonna let that one slide as being one of those small details, since it's a uniform patch in a corner of the image, and not something central... keep trying. :)
I want to say it's Captain Nazi's medals/insignia on the front of his uniform, but I don't know enough to say what the error is. Seems weird that it's so low on him, but I don't know if that's actually wrong. And I couldn't say whether the actual medals, etc. are correct for a German soldier.
That's just it, they're on his ribs, instead of his chest. The actual medals don't matter, because it's not the actual nazi army.
And it's "Colonel" Nazi in that future. :)
I thought that was wrong too but after a quick search on google-images it seems like he actually has his medals on his ribs and not on his chest. I don't know why but I could speculate that it's because he doesn't want to mess up his swastika-icon.
Here's another example: http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/15776/682581-captainnazi_large.jpg
Those look even worse. :) But the fact is that his costume doesn't have medals, really: http://bit.ly/ccCYcK
... so both the image I posted, and the one you posted, are alternate versions... and wrong... nobody pins medals in that part of a person's uniform!
Heh, he's a Colonel (is it weird that he has only ever referred to himself by the English, not German, terms for ranks?) by the time of the future story---but that image is from a flashback between the present and then.
And since this isn't the real Nazi army, there's no way to tell from his uniform if he's already a colonel in that image!
...
Too nitpicky?
The word "Colonel" comes from Mr. Terrific's words, I guess he refers to himself as Oberst Nazi... since "Kolonel" would be Dutch.
And from what I remember from the narrative, he's a Colonel in the moment the flashback takes place. But still, it doesn't matter. :)
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