The Dissector #178.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Science to the rescue once more!" Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man #643.
Late, late again, I know. Work has been hectic... you know, the work that actually pays my bills? Doesn't mean I'll let my readers down, though! Nobody cracked last column's DT; and I can tell you (while I watch Stargate Universe) that it was the fact that the Jaffa says he was the Prime of Sobek, but he had no tattoo on his forehead, as all Jaffa in service to a Goa'uld should (in fact, his should be gold, as Prime).
Here are the Dissector's Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week is actually a tie between X-Factor #209 and Captain America: Patriot #1. In X-Factor, Peter David is an excellent team book writer, and any character he doesn't have previous experience with, he studies and gets. Newcomer Emanuela Lupacchino's art is crisp and clear, making characters different and with great facial expressions... she does have a bit of room for improvement still, mainly in background figures. For the Patriot book, Karl Kesel is a veteran character writer, and he gets the 40s dialogue and feel perfectly. For a book with a lot of narration (in the form of newspaper articles), it reads easily. Artist Mitch Breitweiser, with colorist and wife Bettie Breitweiser, draw a story that's both modern and WWII... like a (good) propaganda poster come to life.
Worst Book Of The Week was Justice Society Of America Special... wow, this was a bad book. Not horrible, but just... failed. Scott Kolins writes as well as pencils, and as much as I don't really like his art, his writing is even worse. The plot is disjointed, the dialogues are wooden... and his art, well, his figures are not that well suited to superheroes, in my opinion, particularly because of the bright colors Hi-Fi gives them. Haven't read this? Don't read it, unless you’re a big JSA fan.
The Rundown: Avengers And The Infinity Gauntlet (Doom's eyes are colored incorrectly, Wolverine's height is wrong), Battlefields ("formate"?), Birds Of Prey V3 ("muy" thai?), DC Universe Legacies (accented letters), Justice Society of America Special ("tyrrany", Magog's eyes are both normal, and one has an Horus symbol around it, which has never been there before, nor his powers have any Egyptian basis), Our Fighting Forces (Johnny Cloud's eyes shouldn't be blue, wrong uses of the German language), Shadowland: Power Man (accented letter that's a flat line and a small letter, then a correctly accented letter on all counts; plus a weird name for a Hispanic character, which gets a low rating, but it's more probable than "Ignatio" was Van Lente trying to spell "Ignacio", rather than the right name he was looking for), Spider-Man/Fantastic Four (accented letter), Web Of Spider-Man V2 (accented letters, but one correct... I mean, individual letterers can get it right in one book, wrong in another, and now wrong and right within pages? come on, pay more attention to your own work!), Young Allies (inconsistent credit lettering, accented letters, opening question marks missing from Spanish dialogues, when opening exclamation marks are used for other dialogues).
"THIS EACH WRONG."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Donald313 noticed that I wrote "Batman and Alfred treat is other is just plain wrong", it should have been "each other". Badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
TITLE: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (DC).
CULPRIT: Peter Tomasi (writer).
DISSECTION: One for the Green Lantern fans:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Kilowog's badge and ring are wrong, then his badge changes shape. On the other hand, Guy, Arisia, and Kilowog are shown flying out on an extended trip to the "unknown sector" without their power batteries visible... are we supposed to believe they're going away for a long time without their batteries? Obviously, they carry them inside their rings. So stop using the lazy "ring charge--low!" plot device, please.
"QUO FUCKING VADIS?"
TITLE: Ides Of Blood (DC/Wildstorm).
ISSUE: 02 of 06.
CULPRIT: Stuart C. Paul (writer).
DISSECTION: Okay, the anachronistic language has gone too far. I can't let something like "HAIL @#$%ING CAESAR." pass without considering it a fucking dissection.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Plus, there is also a phrase that, apart from using the word "fart", repeats parts of itself without apparent reason.
"SPIRIT OF DISSECTION."
TITLE: The Spirit V1 (DC).
CULPRIT: Paul Smith (penciller) and/or Sergio Aragones & Mark Evanier (writers).
DISSECTION: Donald313 strikes back again, and lets me know that in this issue, from April 2008, a beauty pageant contestant is announced as Ms. Japan, but she's wearing a "Ms. China" sash. You get another badge, and you earned your promotion to Commander! Congratulations! That's your twenty-sixth badge; reach forty-one and you make Captain, and get your own ship to command!
By the way, you say you weren't reading the column back then, in 2008, and you asked if it existed. The column was first published in 2005, in CBEM #549 (here's a link to a re-posting of the first one); and then in blog form since December 2006.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
TITLE: X-Factor V1 (Marvel). Yes, I went back to V1, like with other renumber/continuation books.
CULPRIT: David Yardin (cover penciller).
DISSECTION: I can't believe I didn't notice this one... I'm ashamed, as a roleplayer, that I missed this one... but luckily, my new aide-de-camp, HDSC Commander Donald313, had my back. The cover shows Longshot playing craps; and one of the dice he throws has the numbers 2 and 5 on adjoined faces; when they should be on opposite ones; as each pair of opposite faces in a six-sided die should add up to seven.
Plus, I know now that "die" in German is "Würfel"... and the plural is "Würfels"... nice.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Madrox's eyes are colored green, when they should be brown.
Thirty-four dissections, and a 6.0 Bazzar average... on the low end of the usual. Cover Of The Week is by Yuko Shimizu, for The Unwritten:
A board game? The issue actually turns out to be a choose your own adventure books! Now, Moments of The Week; first one's a gay fashion showdown in old west:
That made me chuckle... Next, another smile, but this time from Spidey:
Not just one, but two... and this one he shares with an unlikely companion:
Doom's a trekkie? Hah! Now, you know what I said about Lupacchino's art? Well, take a look at this:
Wolfsbane's never looked that good. And Lupacchino also makes the casino scenes very fun:
She's perfectly suited for a fun book like X-Factor. And here's the last scene from Captain America: Patriot:
Powerful, isn't it? That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...