Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Dissector #98.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"... Cat's fast asleep and one moment, as dry as the proverbial bone... but the next presto... the girl's soaking wet." Psylocke, New Exiles #13.

It's gonna be long until I catch up, since lately I haven't even been able to read my comic books. In any case, here we are with the column for books released on 10/22. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week will be our first stop; and the Best Book Of The Week was Secret Invasion 7; a good battle royale that furthers the plot. Worst Book Of The Week was Hulk #7; which is frankly boring.

Nobody spotted the DT!; which was the fact that Flash's boots were colored red, instead of yellow. Now, the dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"BART ADAMA SAYS: EAT MY SHORTS!"

TITLE: Battlestar Galactica (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Unknown.

DISSECTION: From my vault comes the September 2006 issue of Battlestar Galactica; which has a preview for the following issue... billed as "Barttlestar Galactica".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars; it's not the first time they got the title of their own book wrong...
<-------------------------------->
"BATTLESTAR DISSECTICA!"

TITLE: Battlestar Galactica: Origins (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Seamus Kevin Fahey & Clay Carmouche (writers).

DISSECTION: Well, here's a nice Dissect This! for y'all Galactica fans. Just so you know, this happens before the show:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IZZATWAP!"

TITLE: Blue Beetle V8 (DC).

ISSUE: 32.

CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).

DISSECTION: Traci Thirteen quotes Star Wars' Admiral Ackbar; but the balloon says "Akbar".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEEKS OF THE MOMENT."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 97.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Well, I fucked up with last column. Three, count 'em, three dissections; first I mixed up two pictures in the Moments Of The Week; DrSilent noticed it and he gets another badge. Then I noticed I switched around the culprit an issue number in an entry; and Snakebyte let me know that I had credited Gregg Hurwitz as "Greg" (which I also did in #93). Badge for him; he's only 4 badges away from making Vice Admiral (admiral of the vice?). There's another dissection I found in my column #90; but telling you would spoil a dissection for a future column (#100).

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the picture mess-up.
<-------------------------------->
"MIGHTY MORPHIN'..."

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor), Michael Horwitz (assistant editor), and Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: Morph.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PSYCHOTIC POWERS."

TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 36.

CULPRIT: Peter David (writer).

DISSECTION: Longshot is said to have "telemetric powers"; the correct word is "psychometric"; from "psychometry"; aka "token object reading".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
This column ends up with a 5.3 Bazzars average in 10 dissections; quite low. Moments Of The Week, so we can finish this thing. First up, Pa Kent bought it!


Damn, and a friend spoiled it for me before I could read it... Then; Clint Barton cuts the crap and goes all Hawkeye on the Skrulls!


Aw yeah! And last; I tell you, Norman Osborn is the next Marvel 616 President of the USA:


Let's wait and see. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

3 comments:

Lucas said...

Dissect This: Helo is his codename not his first name! It'd be one or the other!

MaGnUs said...

No, that's not it. They regularly use their callsigns instead of names or last names.

MaGnUs said...

Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:

Nick S.: TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

V3.


Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Good point; I've been labeling it V4 for a while... wonder why, if I knew there was the original book, the mini, and this...


Dominik B.: He wouldn't call himself "Helo Agathon," seeing as Helo is his callsign. He'd either say "Helo" or "Carl Agathon."


Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: No; they use their callsigns very freely in the Colonial Forces; that's not the problem.


Dominik B.: Of course it is. I just declared it to be the problem.

And if you really want to be antsy: When has Helo ever been a Private? He's been a Captain and a Lieutenant.


Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: This is in the past, but you're close.