DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I've been a thief. A goddess. An X-Man. And a queen. And yet, somehow, I always end up in a sewer under New York City." Storm, X-Men: Worlds Apart #01.
I know, I could have caught up, but I slacked. Blame it on a lot of work at my job... These are the dissections for comics published on the week of 10/15, which means we're almost caught up. There was no DT! last column, so the Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Three Worlds #2, which was just fan-tas-tic! Worst Book Of The Week was Casey Blue: Beyond Tomorrow #6; last issue of a pointless miniseries.
As a shameless plug, Diamond Previews is now carrying Teenagers From The Future, so don't forget to order it at your friendly local comic store; if you're interested.
Off you go then, the dissections are here:
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"PUNCT-WHAT?"
TITLE: Atomic Robo: Dogs Of War (Red 5 Comics).
ISSUE: 03 of 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Powell (letterer).
DISSECTION: In the back-up story, a newspaper reads "Caribbean Cartel Massacre Mass Vigilantism or Gang War?", punctuation be damned!
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"TATTOO-VANISH CREAM!"
TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Ryan Benjamin (penciller).
DISSECTION: Again, Grace's midriff tattoos are missing!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Black Lightning is wearing a regular domino mask instead of his newfangled goggle ones.
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"THE ORIFICE."
TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 13.
CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer) and/or Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: The word "orifice" is spelled "orfice"... in a sentence about Booster rubbing or kissing Skeet's orifice if he had one... ew...
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"SPACINGISOVERRATED!"
TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).
ISSUE: 06 of 06.
CULPRIT: John J. Hill (letterer).
DISSECTION: One of the narrator boxes says "savedusing".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"DECIDE WHAT TO DISSECT."
TITLE: DC Universe: Decisions (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 04.
CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).
DISSECTION: Beside the horrible art; what can you find wrong here:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"ISSUES, SHMISSUES!"
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota)
ISSUE: 96.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I screwed up, and Snakebyte spotted it. I incorrectly put the issue of an "X-Men V2" dissection as 02 of 02; when it was 192.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. I also labeled Big Hero 6 as a six-issue series, when it's five issues long; that was also brought to my attention by Snake; who gets two badges and reaches the rank of Commodore in the HDSC; again, being the first to reach a rank. Lucas Siegel also gets a badge, spotting a typo I made.
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"MIRROR MIRROR, TURN MY ACCENT UPSIDE DOWN."
TITLE: Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge (DC).
ISSUE: Geoff Johns (writer)
CULPRIT: 03 of 03.
DISSECTION: Mirror Master's accent is all wrong again; he sounds like the Juggernaut instead of the Scottish accent he should have.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"HERE IN THE FLASH'S COMIC WE ALL SPEAK TOO FAST."
TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 245.
CULPRIT: Swands, aka Steve Wands (letterer).
DISSECTION: Raven says "OtherTitans", with no space.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"WISH YOU WERE HEAR."
TITLE: The Phantom V7 (Moonstone).
ISSUE: 25.
CULPRIT: Mike Bullock (writer).
DISSECTION: Mike, the word "hear" is not a substitute for "here".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"COLINA DE CIPRESES."
TITLE: The Punisher V7 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 63.
CULPRIT: Greg Hurwitz (writer)
DISSECTION: Again, full of Spanish language dissections; the worst one being the fact that a small Mexican village has a cemetery that reads "CEMETERY" in English on the gates.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Other stuff not worth going into detail, as well.
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"Ñ-MEN."
TITLE: X-Men: Worlds Apart (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
DISSECTION: Raul Treviño, the colorist, has his Ñ lettered in the wrong size.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"ZORRO, MI COMPATRE!"
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Not as many dissections as you'd think, just five. The one that hurt the most was using "grande amigo" for "great friend"; which should be "gran amigo". Come on Matt, stay away from Spanish, or get a consultant...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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We end the dissections with a 6.0 Bazzar average in twenty-one entries; run of the mill. Now, the Moments Of The Week. First up, the Legion Of Three Worlds gets some green help:
Rond Vidar, last Green Lantern!!! Then, on another green note, we find out what Beast has been up to:
Way to go, Hank! Last, Cannonball screws up:
Kentucky; not the most racially correct place to grow up. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
3 comments:
Ha! You switched your images for Green Lantern and Beast. Another badge for me!
Yeah, whoops. No badge, though, somebody else noticed it at the ICS.net.
Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:
Dominik B.: Flash doesn't have a buttcrack?
And I suspect that something's wrong with GL's costume.
DrSilent: Boy; that art *is* ugly.
Also you switched the first two pictures at the end of your column. :p
Dominik B.: On another note: Who's Rond Vidar?
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Dom: Nope on both counts. Rond Vidar is a GL and ally of the LSH; son of the villain Universo.
DrSilent: Yup, you got that right, badge for ya.
Nick S.: CULPRIT: Greg Hurwitz (writer)
Dunno how he was credited in this particular issue, but I believe the man's name is Gregg.
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: You're right, he's Gregg, my mistake, Commodore.
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