Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Dissector #115.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


03/04: "Oh, say, disgusting hippies, I'm afraid we'll be needing your disgusting hippie van, if you don't mind!" Ragdoll, Secret Six V3 #07.

03/11: "Ya gotta be kidding me--green, yellow, red, blue, violet--it's like Walt Disney threw up--what the hell's going on out there?" Guy Gardner, Green Lantern Corps V2 #34.

03/18: "A little (older)? You have... hips! And... y'know... things." Jamie Madrox, about the grown-up Layla Miller, X-Factor V4 #41.

03/25: "Oh, my, your organs are all in the wrong place. Let me fix that." Medical robot, Wildcats V5 #08.

Here's me trying to catch up; the month of March is here for you, in all it's two-month late glory... Last week's DT! was spotted by DrSilent, and it was the fact that Mongul was fighting "verses" Arkillo. Quick and dirty, Week of 03/04, Best Book was Batman: Cacophony #3 of 3, good ending to a nice mini... when Kevin Smith gets off his ass, he's good. Worst Book was Gotham Gazette One-shot... I don't even remember how bland it was.

Week of 03/11 had as Best Book R.E.B.E.L.S. #2, good Legionesque fun; while the Worst Book was Guardians Of The Galaxy V2 #11... I like this book, but it got too cosmic this issue around... Yes, I know, how can Guardians Of The Galaxy be "too cosmic"? Well, there's "cosmic" and there's "spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace". I enjoy the latter, not so much the former. Then, Best Book Of The Week for 03/18 was Amazing Spider-Man V1 #588; unsurprisingly, since it’s a consistently good book. Worst Book of the week is X-Men Noir #4; what started as a nice concept, with interesting visuals evolved into a boring comic.

To end this introduction, Best Book Of The Week for 03/25 was The Muppet Show #1... felt just like the TV show! Worst Book was Justice League Of America #31... Good God, some sort of star-vampire or whatnot? Please Dwayne!!!!

Again, many books have been dissected, but get no write up, namely: Action Comics, Amazing Spider-Man Extra, Bang Tango!, Batman: Battle For The Cowl, Batman Confidential, Booster Gold, Dark Avengers, Dark Reign: Elektra, Hellblazer, Moon Knight V5, Secret Six V3, Spider-Man & The Human Torch In... Bahia De Los Muertos!, Star Trek-TNG: The Last Generation, Titans V2, Trinity, Uncanny X-Men, War Of Kings, Wonder Woman , X-Men: Legacy. Now, dissections:

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 588.

CULPRIT: Dean White (colorist).

DISSECTION: Norman Osborn's eyes are colored brown; when his eyes are blue... it's minor, but since he's been in so many comics lately, I've noticed most colorists get it wrong.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. It's minor, but you can check references when working on a character, how hard can it be? Snakebyte also found a word spelled incorrectly, so badge for him.

TITLE: Batman-Battle For The Cowl: Commissioner Gordon (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Royal McGraw (writer).

DISSECTION: Here's a two-in-one: Commissioner Gordon is being held captive by Mr. Freeze; so in order to escape, he enrages Mr. Freeze to "lower the temperature to make the iron in his shackles brittle enough to break it". First of all, Mr. Freeze is not an Iceman/Hulk hybrid... he doesn't control temperature, he uses freeze guns and stuff like that...

Also, if you lower the room's temperature enough for iron shackles to become brittle enough to break, you won't be in a condition to break it, since you'd have to lower the temperature to too much. Gordon has also been in that room for hours, with temperature low enough that he's suffering from hypothermia. Jimmy would probably break his fingers trying to snap the chain.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars each.

TITLE: Dark Reign: Fantastic Four (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Hickman (writer).

DISSECTION: Oh, how nice! A Fantastic Four family tree!!! Where Ben Grimm is attached to... Alicia Masters? Yes, you might want to read up in your FF comics, Mr. Hickman.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 114.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte points out that I incorrectly said that the brain has nothing to do with heart beat. He's right, I was a bit rushed in writing that. The heart rate is controlled by the medulla oblongata, the lower portion of the brainstem; specifically by the aptly named cardiac center. In my rush, I remembered it incorrectly as not part of the brain.


TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: I'm pretty sure Wonder Woman's name is Diana... but Zatanna seems to think it's Dinah.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Dr. Light's eyes (Hoshi Kimiyo's) should be black, not blue.

TITLE: New Avengers: The Reunion (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Jim McCann (writer).

DISSECTION: Almost a whole page of perfect Spanish dialogue; even the accented letters are the right size, there's opening question and exclamation marks... but of course, it couldn't be all perfect. "Allow me to see your credentials" is not "Permita que mi vea sus credenciales", it's "Permitame ver..."



ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: Starhaven is said to be inhabited by Native Americans of the Anasazi tribe abducted by Athranians.... but not the whole tribe, Tony!


TITLE: Star Trek: Mission's End (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: John Hunt (colorist).

DISSECTION: Why is Spock and Uhura wearing a yellow uniform, and Sulu a blue one?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.

TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 56.

CULPRIT: Michael Green (writer).

DISSECTION: The JLA is fighting in space and Hawkgirl's breathing mask is broken... so Green Lantern provides a ring-generated breathing mask, and Firestorm provides oxygen... what? Green Lanterns can provide life support by themselves...


TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Valentin De Landro & Marco Santucci (pencillers).

DISSECTION: If you know what you're looking for, this one is easy.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. And they did it in another part of the issue.

TITLE: X-Men-Spider-Man (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Christos Gage (writer).

DISSECTION: There's a few errors, both in writing and art; but the most glaring one is referring to Sinister as a mutant, when he's not, at least not in the X-Men sense of the word. Also... Xraven?!?!?! Puh-leese!


TITLE: X-Men: Sword Of The Braddocks (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Chris, why the hell would Psylocke's powers allow her to run indefinitely without dropping?


TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: As usual, a great number of Spanish language assassinations here; a total of 34, even after I did a secondary culling and discounted a few. In particular, you don't call a woman "estúpido", you call her "estúpida". Seriously, Wagner, the book is very good; but please, stop using Spanish, not only is it annoying, you're not even doing it right!

Nice and round average of 7.0 Bazzars in seventy seven dissections. Three Moments Of The Week(s), first up, one that's actually older, Geoff Johns writing for Marvel, in the 2002 miniseries "Morlocks". A military officer watches footage of sentinels killing mutants and... enjoys it:

Ewwwwww..... Then, Ultimate Hank Pym: badass!

Still, ew... 616 Hank Pym? Everybody's bitch:


That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...



Anonymous said...

Great list MaGnUs!

I have just a couple of grammatical points for you, in your dissections.

In fact, it's the same point, twice.

Whe you write "Why is Spock and Uhura wearing a yellow uniform",
"There's a few errors, both in writing and art;" and "there's opening question and exclamation marks".

Your error is in the 3rd person singular conjugation of the verb "to be", "is".

In the first example, since the first subjects of the sentence are Spock and Uhura, the verb should be conjugated in plural form "are".

Likewise in the second and third example, where you have a contraction. Since the subjects are multiple errors and marks, the contraction should read as "There're" or no contraction as "There are" instead of "There's". Both would be right.

Great dissection! And even caught that Dinah/Diana thing (which I missed on first reading).

J. Corbin

Anonymous said...

And just to dissect myself....

I wrote "In fact, it's the same point, twice."

When in fact I should have written "thrice" or "three times"

J. Corbin

MaGnUs said...

J. Corbin, you make excellent points, those were my mistakes.

Stupid grammar checker catches things that aren't mistakes and doesn't catch thse?

Anonymous said...

The spell checker sucks too because it apparently misses "thse" too :-)

J. Corbin

MaGnUs said...

Well, I don't use a spellchecker on the comments. :P

MaGnUs said...

Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:

DrSilent: The fingers, man! I'd actually noticed that one to owhen I read it. Thet even make a plot issue out of the very thing later on IIRC...

Nick S.: Yep, fingers, DrSilent got it.

Also, Mags, you were SO close to me not having anything to pick on. XD

TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

That'd be v3.

Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: DrSilent: Correct... I think they mention later that he has only three fingers and a thumb, but the artists forgot that. Latest issue has it right, though.

Nick: Lol! But I'm disappointed in you, I've been making that mistake for the last two years, apparently. Last time I labeled this V3 was in 2007... But yeah, I fucked up.