DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"My law partner told me the only job with a higher mortality rate than Gotham D.A. is a "red shirt" on "Star Trek"." Kate Spencer, Batman: Streets Of Gotham #1.
Here we are again, with the column for comics released on 06/17! No one cracked the DT! last time; the problem was that Nightwing's gloves weren't right; the blue portion of his costume continues down his wrist and middle and index finger.
Let's go with The Dissector's Picks Of The Week, now. Best Book Of The Week was Batman: Streets Of Gotham #1... solid, and while I liked Batman & Robin, this was more down to earth, and I enjoyed the Manhunter backup feature too. Worst Book Of The Week? Well, Superman/Batman #61 came out last week, and... "Penguello"? "The Ventrilomaker"? Please...
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"PHANTOM EYES."
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: Annual #12.
CULPRIT: Mazi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Chris Kent's (I refuse to call him Lor-Zod) eyes are colored blue/green instead of brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"SPAIDER-MUN."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man Family (Marvel).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Fred Hembeck (writer, "The Adventures Of Peter Parker...").
DISSECTION: It's "sudoku", not "soduku". Peter Parker wouldn't make that mistake, even before he was Spider-Man, right?
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, "everybody", not "everbody".
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"I HOPE YOU GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME."
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Ariel Olivetti (colorist).
DISSECTION: Hope's eyes are colored blue instead of green.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"AXIS BANNER EXCHANGE."
TITLE: Captain America V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 600.
CULPRIT: Al Avison (penciller, "Red Skull's Deadly Revenge", first published in Captain America Comics #16, July, 1942).
DISSECTION: Inexplicably, the Red Skull wears a Japanese imperial flag on his chest; which eventually is swapped with a more appropriate swastika.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, in one of the modern stories, CNN reports that the anniversary of Captain America's death is a day of national "mouring".
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"THESE IS THE VOYAGES OF THE DSS DISSECTOR..."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 120.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: And I did it again! And J. Corbin spotted it again! I say "there is (...) other errors" instead of "there are..." I need to pay more attention... Badge for J. Corbin.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"FLECHA VERDE."
TITLE: Green Arrow/Black Canary (DC).
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Andrew Kreisberg (writer).
DISSECTION: There's a character thinking in Spanish, and Kreisberg just grabbed his English sentences and threw them into the Google translator. For example, while in English the verb "to be" can mean a condition or a location; in Spanish ("ser") it only means a condition; so "Is she crazy?" can't be translated as "¿Es ella loca?"; you translate it as "¿Está ella loca?", or even better, "¿Está loca?
Andrew, there's millions of Spanish speakers in the US, or you can even look me up on Facebook and I will do it FOR FREE.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, and there are (look J. Corbin, look!) a few other errors, not to mentioned accented letters smaller than the rest.
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"STOP WANKING, IT'S BAD FOR YOUR SPELLING."
TITLE: M.I.L.F. Magnet (Moonstone)
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Tony Lee (writer).
DISSECTION: Tony... the word is "masturbator" not "masterbator". Just as an FYI...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"STAR SPANGLED PALETTE SWAP."
TITLE: Mighty Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Marko Djurdjevic (cover colorist).
DISSECTION: U.S.Agent's uniform is colored incorrectly; his gloves are black instead of red, and the star on his chest is yellow instead of black.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. Also, USAgent is not the right spelling.
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"DEMON'S HEAD, HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT."
TITLE: Outsiders V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 19.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).
DISSECTION: Ra's al Ghul's name is written with a tilde (~) over the "u", but it should be written even without accents, or with a tilde on the "u" and the first "a", or without any tildes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"BLEACH IT, KID."
TITLE: Savage She-Hulk (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 04.
CULPRIT: Marte Gracia (colorist).
DISSECTION: Captain "Marvel Boy" Marvel (aka Noh Varr) has white hair, yet Gracia colors it dark grey; even when the white portions of his costume remain white; so it can't be a lighting issue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"THE STRENGTH OF A WHALE!"
TITLE: Vigilante V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Marv Wolfman (writer) and/or Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Since when does Tobias Whale have superstrength? Yes, he's a Kingpin rip-off, so he's "fat" with muscle; but not enough to punch through a car's roof, or cause gigantic dents on the vehicle's hood.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"HE'S BALD, HE CAN'T HAVE TELEKINESIS!"
TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 225.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
DISSECTION: Exodus is overly surprised when Charles Xavier appears to have telekinetic powers, saying that "Xavier has no telekinetic powers!". Yes, Xavier doesn't have any "teke" (as Claremont likes to say) now, but he did have low level telekinetic powers; and his genetic make-up includes that kind of ability, which Cassandra Nova exhibited.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Snakebyte brought to my attention the fact that Xavier calls exodus Bennet du "Parris", instead of "Paris", twice. I don't know if I would have noticed on my own, I like to think I would have, but Snake told me before I read the comic. Badge for him.
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"CAJUN STRESS."
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Gambit (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Rob Steen (letterer).
DISSECTION: Readable issue that does nothing but tell what we more or less knew about Gambit, but of course, with lots of Cajun dialogue, has accented letters (and other letters like the "ç") are smaller than the rest of the letters.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each, for a total of nine dissections.
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"COPULATON BREEDS POPULATON."
TITLE: Young Liars (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 16.
CULPRIT: David Lapham (writer).
DISSECTION: Freedom, Arizona, "Populaton": 897.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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Average for this week was 6.1 Bazzars on thirty-four dissections; pretty standard. just two Moments Of The Week, and they're both about taunting Norman! First up, just because you paint, is it art?
I love it... SNAP! Then, What If... Spider-Man was a midget cowboy?
I can't believe it's taken us about 40 years to make fun of Norman's hair! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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