Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Dissector #119.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"(...) My years with Mr. Tesla have taught me that there's one underlying scientific principle to ALL existence. (...) EVERYTHING explodes." Atomic Robo, as he cranks up the dial of a lightning gun to ten, Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #2.

Greetings, and welcome to the column covering the dissections in comics released on 06/03. Straight into the fray; last week's DT! was not solved, I'm very disappointed. Namor, in the panel I show, is wearing his trademark green speedos... with white lines on the side; when he's never had those before.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week is a tie between The Amazing Spider-Man #596 and Atomic Robo And The Shadow Beyond Time #2; I couldn't decide between the two so I just went with both. Worst Book Of The Week was Ultimatum #4; not that bad, but weak, and this whole event has been badly paced. Now, dissections!
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"ONE IS HIS SUMMER COSTUME."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 596.

CULPRIT: Paulo Siqueira (penciller).

DISSECTION: Wolverine (Daken) wears a costume with short sleeves; but on the first page, he's wearing a full sleeved costume; then in the rest of the issue, short sleeves.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"DIE KINDER."

TITLE: The Boys (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Ah, Simon... you don't learn, do you? The ü in "Führer" should be the same size as the rest of the letters.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE DISECTOR."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 108.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I just noticed I wrote "powerles" in that column instead of "powerless".

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"MASK OF UNCERTAINTY."

TITLE: Exiles V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Salva Espín (artist).

DISSECTION: Can someone explain to me how the Black Panther is wearing his mask after escaping his cell, when he didn't have it before?

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK LANTERN, WHITE GLOVES."

TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Run (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).

DISSECTION: And the fuck up continues... John Stewart's costume is wrong; with him wearing white gloves and the wrong chest emblem.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the gloves. Also, Firestorm is colored as if he's Ronnie Raymond, not Jason Rusch; and his costume is also Ronnie's. Seriously, are the people making this comic not aware of the fact that Jason is Firestorm these days?
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"MIGHTY DISBANDMENT."

TITLE: Mighty Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott (writer).

DISSECTION: The "previously" text says that after Secret Invasion the New Avengers disbanded... they didn't they went underground.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"PUNISH ME, WILL YA JOE?"

TITLE: Punisher: Naked Kill (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

DISSECTION: Come on Joe, I expect more of you! "Pokémon" has an accented "e", but it has to be the same size as the rest of the letters!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEY, JUNIOR."

TITLE: Star Trek: Crew (IDW).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).

DISSECTION: There are several dissections, small ones; the one I chose to write up is the fact that Pike is mentioned as a "junior officer", when his rank is Lt. Commander. Junior officers are the ones holding a rank of lieutenant, or lower.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. One a good note; this book is enjoyable, and Byrne has Number One read Vulcan philosophy, foreshadowing her emotionless, computer-like behavior in The Cage.
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"WHITE LANTERN, BLACK GLOVES."

TITLE: Superman: World Of New Krypton (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 12.

CULPRIT: Brad Anderson (colorist) and Pete Woods (artist).

DISSECTION: Why is John Stewart Caucasian?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, can we remember that John Stewart's chest emblem is MOT the same as Hal's?
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"CO-LOM-BI-A! CO-LOM-BI-A! CO-LOM-BI-A!"

TITLE: Universal War One: Revelations (Marvel/Soleil).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Denis Bajram (writer), Paul Benjamin (writer, adaptation), uncredited translator.

DISSECTION: The South American country is called "Colombia", not "Columbia".

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, "Del Gado" is not a last name, "Delgado" is.
<-------------------------------->
This week's column had an average of 6.2 Bazzars in seventeen dissections... oh, and I didn't feel like having a DT!, couldn't find a dissection that fit that mold this time around. That out the way, we have a slew of Moments Of The Week. First up; The Punisher can kill you with a sock!


Badass! Next, more Punisher. How do you escape a tall building in lockdown before all its inhabitants are gassed?


Easy! You build a ladder out of dead bodies! Then, Atomic Robo and I think alike:


Yes, we're both nitpicking bastards! Next, behave around Ares...


Or he'll pimp slap ya! Still on the Dark Avengers:


Norman Osborn, Academy Award nominee? And last, watch out...


Don't wear too many piercings near turbo magnets... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

5 comments:

Emerre said...

"Also, can we remember that John Stewart's chest emblem is MOT the same as Hal's?"

Really, they dom´t seem to remember that.

MaGnUs said...

DAMMIT! Snakebyte didn't find anything wrong with my column and for once I thought I was off the hook!

But yeah, typo. What the hell does "mot" mean that the spell checker didn't catch it?

Ah, something derived from the French word. Of course, the English language stealing loose change from other languages pockets...

Thanks for catching that, badge for you.

Anonymous said...

Hey MaGnUs,

Wasn't Mot the barber from TNG?

J.Corbin

MaGnUs said...

Yeah, right, Mr. Mot, the Bolian barber; from a species without any head hair! :)

MaGnUs said...

Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:

Nick S.: Great column! I noticed the Exiles thing too, and tried to rationalize it away as him keeping a spare... Also, I didn't know it was spelled Colombia, either. You learn something new every day. :D

Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Thanks Nick.... keeping a spare where? Up his nose??!?! Still, he could have, in some way, retrieved his mask... hence the low rating.

"Columbia" is one of my pet peeves, Colombia is not even pronounced like British Columbia, but as "Kol-ohm-bee-a". Thanks again.

Nick S.: Wasn't he wearing a utility belt or something?! ALL THOSE POCKETS MUST HAVE THINGS OTHER THAN PANCREAS IN THEM! ...C&D reference. >_>

And I knew about the pronunciation, but I thought it was a spanish-accent thing, like the difference between the english and french pronunciations of 'France', we say it like it rhymes with 'pants' and they say it more like it rhymes with 'wants'.

Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: He might have been wearing a belt; but it would have been also taken away from him. And pronunciation or not (which is still wrong; you should pronounce a name as it's pronounced in its language, the rest is deformation), it ain't hard for a writer to check a map or Wikipedia, and see how acountry is written, hence my annoyance.