DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"(...) We're scientists, my dear. Time travel at the very least should be considered one of the baseline perks to the profession. Now come on. Who wants to rescue the future by raiding the past?" Dr. Henry P. McCoy, Uncanny X-Men #512.
Welcome, welcome, welcome! This is The Dissector for the last week of June, 06/24. I know I'm a little late, but I'm still in time to not fall behind, hopefully. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Dark Reign: The Hood #2... a surprise, but it made me warm up to the man behind the hood. Worst Book Of The Week was Justice League Of America #34... I'm really not happy with Dwayne McDuffie's run, and his shoehorning of his Dakotaverse characters.
There was no DT! last week, so we'll go straight to the dissections.
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"THAT NASTY GOBLIN SERUM!"
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 598.
CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).
DISSECTION: Jeromy! Long time no seeing! Since column #71, in May, 2008, to be exact. You went more than a year without slipping... but you had to be one of those who insist in coloring Norman Osborn's eyes green instead of blue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Jeromy, why did you color Peter Parker's hair blonde and his eyes blue in a panel?
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"COSMIC DISSECTION."
TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 12 of 12.
CULPRIT: Jim Krueger (scripter).
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. There's a few other errors, like "the Original Black Panther" again, and the Winter Soldier having an American-style star on his prosthetic arm, instead of the Soviet one.
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"IT'S RAININ' BEREDOS!"
TITLE: Dark Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Rain Beredo (colorist).
DISSECTION: Well, Beredo is one more colorist who doesn't know Norman Osborn's eyes should be blue; he colors them brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"SAI WHAT YOU WANT."
TITLE: Dark Reign: Elektra (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: Clay Mann (penciller).
DISSECTION: Again, she grasps her sai in an incorrect fashion.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"BLACK LANTERN FORESHADOWING."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 42.
CULPRIT: Philip Tan & Eddy Barrows (pencillers) and Nei Ruffino & Rod Reis (colorists).
DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's emblem (after he doesn't have the blue ring) is drawn and colored incorrectly a total of seven times.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"IN THE NAME OF..."
TITLE: Madame Xanadu (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Again, the Lord's Prayer in Latin is incorrect.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also some incorrect Spanish, of course.
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"YOU'RE OUT OF COSTUME."
TITLE: Ms. Marvel V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 40.
CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).
DISSECTION: The current Ms. Marvel, Moonstone, reforms her costume out of torn street clothes, and the narration box says that the moonstone, no longer physical but an energy within her, is the source of her power and her costume. No, it's not. She's long lost the second Moonstone, which allowed her to manipulate matter.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, can someone explain me why Danielle Cage is white in this comic?
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"AY, BRIAN."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 72.
CULPRIT: Bryan Q. Miller (writer).
DISSECTION: Bryan, the Spanish expression is "ay", not "aye".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"SHAVING IS NOT A CONCERN FOR THE MASTER OF MYSTICAL ARTS."
TITLE: Thor V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 602.
CULPRIT: Marko Djurdjevic (penciller).
DISSECTION: Doctor Strange's beard is awfully thick and bushy, for a guy who usually keeps it so trimmed.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"IN COMMUNIST RUSSIA, ACCENTS MAKE YOU SMALLER."
TITLE: Thunderbolts (Marvel).
ISSUE: 133.
CULPRIT: Comicraft's Albert Deschesne (letterer).
DISSECTION: Two accented letters in Russian are smaller than the rest of the letters in the word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
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"BULLSHIT FOREVER."
TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).
DISSECTION: I'll let these two panels speak for themselves:
What??!?!? WHAT??!?!?!?!?!?!!?! I can accept that maybe, just maybe, today's Jean Grey, with her enhanced telekinetic control (almost molecular, if not atomic), and/or her Phoenix force remnants, can convert an attack into electricity to ground it into the mansion's electric systems... and it would be very, very hard to believe... but this Jean Grey, from this time? No, sorry. Chris, please, don't "throw fruit" at us, as we say in my country, quit peppering an otherwise readable script with this kind of bullshit.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, artist Tom Grummet draws Wolverine's glove metal slots for the claws on his skeleton, and leaves hair (head and facial) on his clean bones, which has been stripped of everything else with some kind of energy. Hair? Really?
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"ÑORRO."
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: I'm pleasantly surprised, no bullshit Spanish, and only seven "Ñ"s smaller than the rest of the letters!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
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Whaddaya know? An average of an even 7.0 Bazzars in thirty three dissections. Nice! Now, The Moments of The Week. First up, the JSA seniors, professional cockblockers:
Bastards! Next, Daken will never be worthy of the name Wolverine, but not for the reasons you think...
... but rather because HE DRINKS MARTINIS! THAT'S SO UN-WOLVIE, IT HURTS TO WATCH! Next, I don't know if Harley Quinn is really necessary in the DCU...
... but hers is the best ass in DC currently! Then, something I foresaw:
Poor Harry! And Spidey's not happy about the way Norman treats his eldest son:
Ouch! That's gotta hurt! Last, something that Guido didn't see coming:
I kinda saw it coming... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
6 comments:
In the ASM 598 dissection you wrote: "Jeromy! Long time no seeing!", but the correct phrase in English is actually Long time no see.
Just a little note.
You're entirely right. My bad.
Hi, I colored them green first but my editor Tom Brevoort corrected me and said that Norman's eyes are brown and only turns Green when he's losing it. Anyways I colored them green in my Tbolts issues LOL
-- Rain
Rain, thank you very much for posting. First of all, I hope you keep in mind my disclaimer, and remember that I might be a bit of a bastard when in character as The Dissector, but that I appreciate and admire all the hard work you and others do.
With that said, Norman's eyes (as supported by various sources, including Marvel's own website, and the Marvel Database)) are blue. They might turn green when he loses it, as a side-effect of the goblin serum.
Also, thanks for telling me it's Tom's fault. :) Like I always say, editors are always to blame, particularly when it comes to character references such as this.
Thanks for posting, and for taking it in good humor.
LOL, no problem! I enjoy reading ur dissections
-- Rain
Really, you're a reader? Awesome, I feel honored!
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