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[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I need a Commodore Sixty-Four." Hank Pym, Mighty Avengers #5.
Sorry for the lateness, this column is for comics published the week before this one, and should have come out on Thursday or Friday as usual, but I've been swamped with a lot of stuff. Let's get started with the Dissect This!, which was the fact that Hal Jordan is shown after killing Kilowog, but he's only wearing one power ring, when by then he already had like ten. What are the Dissector's Picks of the Week, you say? Well, the best book for this week wasn't published the week in question, but about a month ago or so, and it's Atomic Robo #1. Yes, it's a blatant Hellboy rip-off, with a robot instead of a demon, but it's well written, with snappy dialogue like "Don't tell me I'm in the wrong mountain base", and a simple, but engaging plot, all by Brian Clevinger. The art by Scott Wegener is cartoony, in synch with the book's light tone and the (current) setting of the late 30s, and the color Ronda Pattison are clean, but not bland, like I usually complain about similar coloring. Plus, Robo was created by Nikola Tesla, which along with the pulp theme is what drew me to pick up the book... and I don't regret it.
The worst book of the week? Well, I have to say that it was the latest issue of Star Trek: Year Four, #4, and it's entirely a problem with the writing. The art by The Sharp Brothers is good (except for a couple of problems I write about further down as dissections), and even if it's not my cup of tea, it conveys a feeling of "sixtiesness" which is completely appropriate for the TOS setting, a feeling enhanced by Leonard O'Grady's colors. However, Tischman's plot looks like a reject script from TOS itself (and no, I don't think that this book should read like that), with an intended tongue-in-cheek jab at network executives... it's not bad, but it's... lackluster. I do like the idea about a Scott Tipton penned Starfleet Academy series (be it TV or comic)... will it happen?
Before we go on with the dissections, to no one in particular I declare that I want this shirt. It'd make me happy, as much as a t-shirt can.
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”UNNECESSARY…”
TITLE: Birds Of Prey.
ISSUE: 111.
CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).
DISSECTION: So, the Calculator has to kill a poor tech-guy to steal his uniform and thumb, so he can use them to go to a seminar? Please, he shouldn't need to kill him, he could just knock him out and copy his thumbprint into some sort of glove or fake thumb, as seen on MythBusters and here. Calculator is much more subtle, as Gail Simone was subtler than Bedard.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”PLOT DEVICE-ARE-US.”
TITLE: Birds Of Prey.
ISSUE: 111.
CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).
DISSECTION: Misfit cannot teleport from Metropolis to a well-known building in Seattle because her powers "don't work that way", but some issues ago she could teleport all the way to Russia with no point of reference? I say thee bullshit.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, cheap plot devices won't save your story, Tony.
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”SHYA, LIKE IT’S ACTUALLY A COSTUME…”
TITLE: Brave And The Bold V3.
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: George Pérez (penciller, and it's the first time I see it written correctly).
DISSECTION: Cyclone appears in a group shot, but her costume is drawn incorrectly.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”CAPTAIN AMERICA: PSYCHIC.”
TITLE: Captain America: The Chosen
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: David Morrel (writer).
DISSECTION: Captain America says that the Supersoldier Serum gave him some sort of psychic abilities. I say thee bullshit. That's one of my new catchphrases.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”SLOW-MORPHING. ”
TITLE: Checkmate V2.
ISSUE: 19.
CULPRIT: Kalman Andrasofszky (cover artist).
DISSECTION: The cover features Amanda Waller's evidence against her fellow royals in Checkmate, including three photos of Black King Taleb Beni Khalid, who apparently is actually the Martian Manhunter, shifting from the human form to MM's current martianoid form. Problem is, it takes him a total of 29 seconds to transform, when his transformations are usually shown as instantaneous.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”BETCHA DON’T WRITE VONDOOM?”
TITLE: Checkmate V2.
ISSUE: 19.
CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer)
DISSECTION: In the roll-call on page 3, Fire's last name is given as "DACOSTA", when it should be "DA COSTA", or "da Costa", if not spelled in capitals.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, repeat offense.
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”TONY THE TIGORR. ”
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).
DISSECTION: Bronze Tiger's mask looks wrong, more like Tigorr from the Omega Men.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”FOLLOW THE CRAZY.”
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).
DISSECTION: Deadshot is giving orders to the Suicide Squad, when both its field leader (Rick Flag) and Amanda Waller's second in command (King Faraday, her Bishop) are present, and in fact, King is giving orders too. Also, not an error, but did they have to tell us that Barda was dead? I obviously read Countdown before Death of the New Gods, and Bedard spoiled that for me!
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”YEAH, DICK’S GOT A KILLER FASHION SENSE.”
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).
DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner's mask is wrong, looks more like a Nightwing mask.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”EVERYBODY THINKS WE’RE EVIL, SO WHY BOTHER?”
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer, backup origin stories).
DISSECTION: Trickster and Pied Piper's origins make no mention (except for a very vague reference to Piper being friends with Wally) of their reforming.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”T IS FOR TRICKSTER.”
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Ethan Van Sciver (penciller/inker, backup origin stories).
DISSECTION: Trickster's current uniform does not have a "T" emblem on its chest.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”WE HAVEN’T READ THAT ONE YET.”
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 28.
CULPRIT: Elisabeth V. Gehrlein (editor, backup origin stories).
DISSECTION: The essential storylines section of Piper's origin lists "Countdown Special: The Flash 80-Page Giant", a book that doesn't come out until the week after. Besides, since they're still handcuffed together, Trickster would also be an important part of that Special... or is he sleeping through the whole thing?
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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”THE NEWSBOY LEGION OF HAIRDRESSERS?”
TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller, and writer, but I'll refer to each "role" he took as it pertains to the specific dissection).
DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen's hairdo is completely different to what he currently sports in Countdown and the Superman books.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Yes, a little extreme, but I think it stands, for Shooter's not checking references..
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”WATCH OUT! ”
TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller, and writer, but I'll refer to each "role" he performed as it pertains to the specific dissection).
DISSECTION: Jimmy's signal watch looks nothing like it should, it looks like a plastic wristband that he found in a child's party favor bag. I mean, look at this:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. He MIGHT have more than one watch, but I'm not buying it.<-------------------------------->
”LOVE GLOVES.”
TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).
DISSECTION: Jeromy! Nice of you to stop by, we hadn't had the pleasure of your presence since, oh, column #40! In this case, you've colored Big Barda's costume gloves blue, when they're yellow, at least in the latest version of her armor.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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”A MONITOR? WHERE?”
TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (writer/penciller) and Jeromy Cox (colorist), though it's dubious the latter is responsible.
DISSECTION: Ah, the New Gods from New Genesis! Mighty Orion, wise and departed Highfather, Lightray, your brightness will be forgotten, as Big Barda's beauty and might will be remembered for eons. There's also Mr. Miracle, now in mourning, and one of the Monitors... what? A Monitor? Yes, a Monitor; look at this background (but clearly visible) figure from the spread in pages of 16-17:
It's a Monitor! I don't think poor Jeromy had anything to do with this, I'm pretty sure Starlin TOLD him to color the figure this particular way, but why the hell would this Monitor be there in full view?DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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”GRRRRRRRR!”
TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (writer) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letter).
DISSECTION: On page 27, Granny Goodness says "rouges gallery", instead of "rogues." Repeat after me, everybody: "rogues", "emperor", "klingons".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, you wanna make something of it?
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”WE, UH…. MOVED?”
TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller).
DISSECTION: Big Barda an Mr. Miracle arrive to their home... which looks nothing like the house they last showed living in.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”GREEN, BUT NOT EVERYWHERE.”
TITLE: Green Lantern V4.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Moose Baumann (colorist).
DISSECTION: In last column's Dissect This!, Hal Jordan's costume is colored incorrectly, with the left sleeve (the only one left) being green instead of black.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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”EACH TIME IT’S DIFFERENT, LIKE SNOWFLAKES.”
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2.
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller).
DISSECTION: Killer Frost yet again looks different. Oh, well, at least Cheetah's got spots and Grodd doesn't look as big as King Kong.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”RED EYE MAD.”
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2.
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Alex Sinclair (colorist).
DISSECTION: The Joker's eyes are, for some reason, colored red...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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”TIME FOR A DISSECTION AT HOME!”
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: M. Zachary Sherman (writer, "Best Offense").
DISSECTION: What's wrong with this page? Dissect This!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”THE PUTTY COMMANDER.”
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: M. Zachary Sherman (writer, "Best Offense").
DISSECTION: Maria Hill is presented as "Deputy Commander", when her rank is Commander, and her position (when Tony Stark is not around) is "Deputy Director".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”YES, S.H.I.E.L.D. HAS A NICE HAIR SALON ON THE HELICARRIER.”
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Sotocolor's A. Crossley (colorist).
DISSECTION: Dum Dum Dugan's hair is colored blond, and he's a redhead.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”A.G.A.I.N.”
TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Rich Koslowski (writer) and/or Dave Sharpe (letterer).
DISSECTION: Not USAgent, it's U.S.Agent.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MEMORY, HANK?”
TITLE: The Mighty Avengers
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).
DISSECTION: Apart from the fact that Bendis makes Ares talk like a primitive retard, he has Hank Pym think, when faced with Ares, "There's a mythological god of war... in my face!" Yeah, what about all the years you spent on the same team WITH THOR, THE RAGNAROKING GOD OF THUNDER OF NORSE MYTH?!?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”HUUUUUGE-ERNAUT.”
TITLE: New Excalibur.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).
DISSECTION: On the cover, Juggernaut is so fucking massive, that Nocturne is about the size of his head, and two Sages fit in one of his arms! Anyway, this was the last issue of New Excalibur, but Claremont is still writing Exiles, and he's doing a horrible crossover between these two books in X-Men: Die By The Sword; which should really have been done in either book, but no, they had to publish something with the word "X-Men" in the title!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”UNTITLED.BMP.”
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 22.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: So, it's time to pick on myself. While compiling information for the Autopsy Awards, I found some of my own mistakes. Column #22 is missing the title for each nit.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it's an integral part of the column.
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”WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND NOT THIS?”
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: One of the nits is entitled "WHAT, ARE YOU TOLD FOR SUPERHERO NAMES?", when it should be "(...) TOO OLD (...)".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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”V2.V3.V4.V5?”
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: All the nits regarding Justice League Of America V2 were labeled "Justice League Of America.V2."
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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”SEVEN OF NINE.”
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 43.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: The "Star Trek: Year Four" nit says it's issue 03, omitting the fact that it's 03 of 06.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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”NO BADGES FOR YOU.”
TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: The Sharp Brothers (penciller/inkers).
DISSECTION: Speak of the devil... As you've read above, this issue wasn't of my particular predilection, but apart from that, out of 21 story pages, 16 have the recurring error of no department insignia on the character's Starfleet badge; even having some characters with the insignia showing, at the same "distance" from the camera than characters with no insignia, and when objects in the background are very detailed.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars out of repeated offense and blatancy.
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”LIKE A PINCH ON THE SHOULDER BY MISTER SPOCK!”
TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.
ISSUE: 04 of 06.
CULPRIT: The Sharp Brothers (penciller/inkers).
DISSECTION: Spock performs a Vulcan nerve pinch by pressing a guard's shoulder, instead of the base of his neck.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”DIG MY TREADS.”
TITLE: Superman Confidential.
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Koi Turnbull (penciller).
DISSECTION: Superman's boots are show as if having treaded soles, and even heels. While the heels might be acceptable, it's been widely shown that his boot soles are plain.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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”18 AVEC UNE BALLE…”
TITLE: The Boys.
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).
DISSECTION: On page 19, The Frenchman says "Un balle...", meaning "A bullet"; but "balle" is a feminine noun in French, so it should be "Une balle...".
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”HORNY WIENER OR HORNYWIENER?”
TITLE: The Boys.
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer) and/or Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: Vas, Butcher's Russian former superhero friend, says first that his codename translated as Love Sausage, but he then says Lovesausage.
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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”FANTASTIC CREDIT.”
TITLE: Ultimate Fantastic Four.
ISSUE: 47.
CULPRIT: I'm not really sure who does cover layouts (as in putting in the titles, barcodes, etc, on the art), but I'm betting in this case it's Anthony Dial, who's credited as "Production".
DISSECTION: Thanks to Bored (here's your HDSC badge buddy) for reporting this one; the cover to this issue credits Mark Brooks and Jaime Mendoza for the art, but the first page credits Pasqual Ferry and Justin Ponsor (and I know the pencils and inks inside are Ferry's); when Brooks (and maybe Mendoza) did the cover art, but you don't usually credit cover art on the cover itself.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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”A BULLET THAT CAN’T FLY.”
TITLE: World War III.
ISSUE: 04 of 04.
CULPRIT: Jack Jadson (penciller) or maybe John Ostrander (writer).
DISSECTION: This is an old one that Miss Kitty Fantastico (badge for you buddy), who says "Anyway, got another one for you, from a while back - I did a quick search of the blog, but couldn't find a reference to it. I picked up World War III issue #4 today, just to fill in my Bulleteer collection (just IC #7 and Birds of Prey #100 to go, both of which I'll be getting trades of sooner or later), and seeing as she was the reason I bought it, I noticed the nits rather quickly, on pages 2 and 7 (the entirety of Alix's appearance in the issue, in fact): she's flying, which she can't do. 52 #50 also has her in the air, but I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt - she's in a more leaping kind of pose, and given her powers, it's quite possible she could get up the momentum to take quite a leap. But WW3 has her in what I'd consider very 'I'm flying!' poses, so - assuming Ostrander didn't specify she be in the air (which seems unlikely), Jack Jadson should get, say, 6 Bazzars for that - she's just one of the background players, but whether or not she can fly is a pretty basic fact that an artist doing a group shot should check"
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars it is, then.
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The average for this column is 6.2, pretty up there, I did give out a lot of 10s... Now, I'll have this week's column ready later, like on Saturday... in the meantime, I leave you with the DAYAMN! moment of the week.... Metron has a bed! He actually leaves that chair of his!!!
That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...THE DISSECTOR!
9 comments:
For Dissect This, my first thought was actually that it's the penciller at fault, since the kind-of-Osprey's rotors seem to have stopped while it's still in mid-air in the second panel. But then I saw it was a writer's nit, and I'm not sure - unless it's the deck chief saying they're "in the business of protecting this nation's security," which makes it sound like they're an American agency, rather than UN.
Cyclone's in Brave and the Bold #7? Damn, I've got to pick that up now.
You're right, it's the UN/American thing... and Cyclone is only in a panel and in the background.
True, but it's an appearance, so I need it for my Cyclone collection.
Speaking of which, I also picked up Green Lantern #24 - which was a lot of fun, despite my only having a vague idea what's going on with the whole Sinestro Corps thing - and in the one panel she appears in, Cyclone's costume is coloured wrong - it's on page 14, and her tank top is the same green as her dress, rather than red.
And in this week's JSA #10 - guess what? - Cyclone's costume is coloured wrong. Fortunately only in a couple of the background panels, she's fine in all of her foreground shots, although that makes you wonder why they can't get it right all the time. On page 4 her stockings are blue and flesh-toned, rather than red and white, and her arms are coloured as if they're bare. On page 10 her left bicep is red - I think the colourist (John Kalisz) mistakenly thought it was her tank-top-clad boob showing from beneath the top of her dress (to be fair, the inked shadows do coincidentally give it the right shape, but it doesn't fit with the design of her costume). And on page 22, due to an inked line being drawn a little short (call that 1 Bazzar nit for the inker, at most - she's far in the background, and thus drawn with very little detail), Kalisz coloured her dress all the way up onto her shoulders - the left shoulder should be skin, and the section covering her right shoulder is, I believe, meant to be her forearm, with her hand on her shoulder (the typical 'awkward' pose). Also he misinterpreted the line indicating the top of her stockings - he's coloured it bare skin below that, and green above, as if she's got bare legs and is wearing shorts under her dress, when we know from Alex Ross's cover to JSA#3 that the only thing she's sporting under there is a Brazilian. Perhaps I'm a little biased because she's one of my favourite characters (did you see the sketch of future Cyclone in the JSA hardcover? Wow), but I'd hand Kalisz a 10 for all that - he didn't just get her wrong, he got her wrong three times, in three different ways, in spite of getting the colours right in all her foreground shots. That's just careless.
I wish DC Direct would get around to making an action figure of her, so DC can buy a batch and just send them to all their colourists, so they'll have 360-degree reference. Though given her luck, DCD would probably colour it wrong...
Heh, I'll take a look at those Cyclone miscolorings. The Brazillian thing might have been in the start, she might have grown some modesty later.
She's definitely not wearing shorts, that much is certain just from the same issue.
What with all these Cyclone costume goofs, I got curious last night and pulled all the Cyclone appearances I have (everything except the Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Superman-Prime one-shot) and checked them all. You know what? I think she's some kind of jinx - out of fifteen issues she appeared in, only one managed not to get her outfit wrong somehow.
Incidentally, in JSA #1, I also noticed that Power Girl is wearing green lipstick in one panel, where she's hovering in mid-air talking to Maxine. But anyway:
JSA #1, page 24 her pants are the wrong colour, page 36 her neckline is coloured as if it's her top, which we can see from other panels is wrong. #2, page 6 onwards her shirt is tucked in, where it was loose in #1 - that could be explained as saying she tucked it in sometime prior to the final panel of #1, though. Page 12 has the lower hem of her top wrong. In #3, page 13 her tank top is the wrong colour, page 17 the tank top isn't pencilled in, and her sleeves are missing. #4 page 22 her tank top's missing. #5 page 15, her cyclone symbol has a crease in it - the sketch notes in the hardcover specify that the symbol is a solid piece attached to her top, not a design printed onto the top's fabric, and every other close-up view of it has borne that out; on page 21 her tank top is the wrong colour, and on page 22 it's gone missing again.
JSA #6, page 1, her sleeve's missing. #7 page 15 her symbol's missing, maybe concealed by a fold in her top but that's stretching credibility a bit; on page 21 her tank top looks to be missing, though it may just be the angle we see her from - again, that's not very likely, but possible. #8 page 12, her tank top's the wrong colour. #9 page 5 her tank top and drape are the wrong colour, page 13 her sleeves are the wrong colour, and page 14 her sleeves, dress, stockings, shows and symbol are all the wrong colour (bloody hell). And in #10, in addition to the three already noted, her symbol is the wrong colour on page 1.
In other titles, in JLA #8 page 23 her right shoulder strap is the wrong colour, she doesn't appear in #9, in JLA #10 page 24 her tank top is missing, in Brave and the Bold #7 her shoulders are misdrawn and/or miscoloured, and in Green Lantern #24 her tank top's the wrong colour and her sleeves are missing.
Ironically, the only issue to get her right? Countdown #38. Maybe there's some sort of conservation of goofs going on - if Cyclone and Mary Marvel appear in the same issue, only one of them gets her outfit wrong.
Omitting the Superman-Prime special - I'm working on getting a scan of her appearance in that, probably just another one-panel one - she's appeared in 15 issues, on a total of 66 pages, and has racked up 34 errors.
That's got to be worth an honorary Autopsy Award.
I'd say the only way she could escape her costume jinx would be to just ditch the costume and become DC's first nudist superhero... but with her luck, the artists would probably keep forgetting the Brazilian every couple of pages.
Wow man, you really did a work on those 34 Cyclone errors!
Think it's enough for Cyclone to beat out Mary Marvel for the 'Most Likely To Have A Costume Malfunction (Not The Fun Kind)' award?
I've got another one for you, out of left field - not a comic, but definitely comic-related: on the packaging for the Marvel Girl action figure, it gives her name as Rachel Ann Summers, instead of Anne. And everywhere except once on the back of the box, they refer to the Brood Queen as 'Queen Brood', as if it's a single character. Hasbro Toy Company chalks up its first-ever Bazzars!
Hehe... I don't do toys in the column :P
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