The Dissector #150.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Guy swears his satellite TV gets a channel from Hell. Trouble is, how would you tell?" John Constantine, John Constantine, Hellblazer: Pandemonium.

Last weekend to vote on the Autopsy Awards, folks! For now, we'll go with the column for comics released on 02/10. JohnnyDoe cracked the DT! from last week, Vicki Vale says "...generous to Gotham over time years, but...", when it should have been "over the years" or "over time". Badge for you, man.

Best Book Of The Week was Secret Six #18; conclusion to the Secret Six/Suicide Squad Blackest Night "team up", or rather, the Ostrander/Simone writing team up. Good story, good art, good Black Lantern disposal, and good memories. And the Moment Of The Week that really made my jaw drop, see at the end of the column. Worst Book Of The Week was Action Comics 886, with a boring Kryptonian mythological story, told as a sort of illustrated bible with lots of narration boxes, more like a storybook than a comic book... ACTION. COMICS. That clue you in, Rucka & Trautmann? I like both of you as writers (and Trautmann is a great guy, never talked to Rucka), but this issue was too dense, too wordy, for this book.

The Rundown: Action Comics (Hal Jordan's badge), The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Jackpot (the color and shape of the vials containing a drug and a sweat sample are exchanged between pages, accented letter), Angel (Spike's eyes are colored brown, then change to his correct blue), Batgirl V3 (a section of Gotham is described as a DMZ, when it's not), Booster Gold V2 (time "linie"?), Dark X-Men (Norman's eyes, Dark Beast described as "cat people"), Green Arrow/Black Canary (Hal Jordan's badge, and Wally West's eyes through his mask are mentioned, when you can't see his eyes), John Constantine, Hellblazer: Pandemonium (accented letter), The Phantom Double Shot: KGB Noir (speech balloon pointing to wrong character), S.W.O.R.D. (BEAST AGAIN!!!! And Italian dialogue is wrong), Secret Six V3 (Rick Flag's eyes are colored incorrectly), Strange V2 (Doc Strange can't get his eyes colored correctly even in his own book), X-Men: Pixie Strikes Back (accented letter). Dissections?
<-------------------------------->
"ADVENTURE DISSECTION."

TITLE: Adventure Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 510.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: Check this one out, it should be pretty simple.


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, when Superboy reminisces about joining the Teen Titans, there's a character in the gathering that's unidentified... and shouldn't be there.
<-------------------------------->
"TAKE AWAY THE BEST PART OF HER COSTUME, WILL YA?"

TITLE: JSA All-Stars (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist) and Richard & Tanya Horie (colorists).

DISSECTION: Power Girl's uniform ample (for lack of a better word) cleavage, or "twindow", as a reader of this column named it, is missing completely. Her Kryptonian Knockers are completely covered up.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Magog's eye is colored incorrectly, and Hourman's eye changes color midway through the backup story.
<-------------------------------->
"MIRAGE CONTACTS."

TITLE: New Mutants V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Sotocolor (colorist).

DISSECTION: Why does Mirage, a Native American, keep getting her eyes colored green or blue? Green in this case.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, they keep neglecting to mention Magik's magical abilities in the character round up.
<-------------------------------->
"NOTHEED."

TITLE: Tails Of The Pet Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (cover artist).

DISSECTION: Lockheed is drawn with segmented plate skin, and a finger (not just pointy claws) on each of his wings. Wrong character design, I have him on my arm, I should know.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DAS BOOT II."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Chris Garcia (colorist).

DISSECTION: Rogue's boots are colored yellow in the story, as they were in the previous issue. Cover colorist Moose Baumann gets them right, coloring them green. Thanks to artist Graham Nolan, who in this issue draws Rogue's boots as ripped with the transformation.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Beast and Mystique have their eyes colored wrong, and in Beast's case, drawn wrong too. (Again, yes, I know "Das Boot" is not "The Boot".)
<-------------------------------->
This week gives us a 6.5 Bazzars average in thirty dissections. Now, Cover Of The Week is the following piece from the first issue of the new Human Target book:


This nice piece by Redondo, Sandoval, Rench, and Abbot reminds me of the Steranko covers for the 70s Nick Fury books. Moments Of The Week? Remember I said one from Suicide Squad... err, Secret Six had made me gape?


Yeah, he finally did it. No, he didn't kill her, but instead lodged a bullet near her heart so it can't be removed through surgery. I really don't buy that last part, not with all the medical science in the DCU, but still, it was fun. Killing her would have been too easy for Floyd. Then, Norman Osborn For President?


Well, he is not a crook, is he? And for a finale, Beast wishes for a team up... with Spidey, perhaps? Wonder Man once again? Nope:


That’s who you want to team up when you battle sentient rock aliens. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #73.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I fucking hate writing speeches. I would rather suck green syphalitic donkey dicks! (filled with puss)." Mayor Mitchell Hundred, Ex Machina #36, speech draft complete with illustrations.

I'm trying to get back on the horse here, and I think I've never been so behind! But anyway, like Master Yoda said, there is no try... Last column was 20 days ago, and nobody got the Dissect This!, and I fear my lack of posting is making me loose readers, so I hope I can prevent that. The DT! was that the relative sizes of Darth Krayt and the stormtroopers around him were all screwed up, making him look twice the size of the stormies.

Picks Of The Week! Best Book (week of 04/30) was I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates From Outerspace #1, which was a funny first issue, with a coloring method reminiscent of old, four color comics, but in the best way possible. And like my friend Chuck just said while he watched me write this "it's so tastefully done, for having such a title that could very well be used for the most lewd of jokes". Of course, he said it with a more colorful expression. Very ingenious book written, pencilled, inked, colored, lettered and possibly even stapled by Megan Rose Gedris, of whom I'd like to see more work. Worst Book was Blue Beetle V7 #26... all Spanish issue; but I reserve my rant for further down....

Now, you'll find a few dissections from old issues (early in this decade, or even from the 80s); that's because I mistakenly stored some of the dissections in a folder named 04/29, and worked with that, then added the older ones to reach the ten dissections quota... only to find after finishing most of it that there were a few more in the 04/30 folder! Yeah, like I actually needed MORE dissections for THIS column (see Blue Beetle rant later).
<-------------------------------->
"SUPER POWERS!"

TITLE: Action Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 864.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Geoff Johns still neglects to mention some of Superman's powers in the character intro; I can understand not mentioning heat vision, but invulnerability should be up there, even more than his sensory powers.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPANISHATION DESENCADENATED!"

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Jai Nitz (writer) & Sergio Aragonés (translation terrorist).

DISSECTION: God. Where to start? Let me say this: for a book with Hispanic characters as a star and most of the supporting cast, Blue Beetle has been surprisingly low on Spanish language mistakes. Until now. I initially cringed when they announced a special Spanish language issue, however, the high quality the book has displayed so far came to my mind, and trusted whoever would be writing it to find a good translator.

Then all my hopes were shattered when I saw the book cover and I found that they MADE UP A WORD!!! The cover reads "¡EL PARÁSITO DESTRAILLÓ!", and "destrailló" is not a real word. I'm familiar with many Spanish regional dialects from all over America, to varying degrees, and even with Spanish as spoken in Spain itself (by the way, the correct name of the language is actually "Castillian"); and I've even checked with other people, and in the Royal Spanish Language Academy Dictionary (which includes even the most outrageous regional slang you can imagine): this word does not exist. All the places I find it on the web are translations that seem to be done with translating software, which thought it was the Spanish word for "unleashed" (where "destraillar" would be "to unleash"). It's even spread to Wiktionary, where I just left a message in the discussion page to have it deleted.

Then, if you keep reading the issue, I found more and more Spanish language mistakes, ranging from very slight ones (and even some I didn't even count, like forgetting an opening exclamation sign here or there, or an accent on a vowel somewhere), from very significant mistakes such as disastrous verb conjugations or sentences constructed in such a way that made absolutely no sense. By the end of the book, I had counted 57, yes, fifty seven Spanish language mistakes, not counting the cover. Together with one artistic error (a character missing a face), this book had 59 total dissections, beating Civil War: Battle Damage Report's 26 by more than double!

What was the worse (or funniest, you decide) thing about this book? That when I got to the end of it, writer Nitz thanked Sergio Aragonés for "keeping it "verdadero""... Was Aragonés (who was born in Spain and grew up in Mexico) drunk? Pulling a prank on Nitz? Getting revenge for Nitz boinking his granddaughter? Because no one who actually knows Spanish would ever translate the issue as this one was... Complete and utter garbage; and the story isn't even up to Blue Beetle standards.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars; and I gave the other 57 language dissections an average of 7 Bazzars each. Oh, I just noticed... the writer's last name is "Nitz".... hehehe.
<-------------------------------->
"LESS IS MORE."

TITLE: Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 55.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: In one of the entries I wrote "This one has a lot of them than say", which is missing the word "less"; it should be "This one has a lot less of them than say".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE DINGSECTOR."

TITLE: Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 72.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I dubbed Jim Starlin "Starling".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT AS BAD AS BLUE BEETLE."

TITLE: Flash V2 (DC).

ISSUE: Annual 13.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: So, this is one of the old dissections from my vault, from the year 2000. Alcatena, the Argentinian artist (great artist and great person) helped Chuck Dixon create Súper Malón, an Argentinian superhero team. However, one of the Argentinian characters says goodbye to the Flashes (Wally West and Jay Garrick) by saying "Ciao, mi amigos."; "ciao" is Italian, and "my friends" in Spanish should be "mis amigos".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STORMTROOPER BOOTS."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Randy Mayor (colorist).

DISSECTION: Abin Sur's boots are colored white, when they were green (same exact uniform Hal Jordan would wear for most of his GL career).

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THREEBOOT BOOTS."

TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Aaron Lopresti (penciller).

DISSECTION: Ultra Boy's boots are drawn incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S GOT A NICE RING TO IT."

TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).

DISSECTION: A nice write-up of the (threeboot) history of the flight rings is given, but it's main difference from previous versions is ignored: invisibility from the UFP surveillance network.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLORED DISCS."

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE:

CULPRIT: Laura Villari (colorist).

DISSECTION: U.S.Agent's shield is colored incorrectly. And of course, his name.... twice.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW YARK CITY."

TITLE: Suicide Squad V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: John Ostrander & Kim Yale (writers) and/or Todd Klein (letterer).

DISSECTION: Another one from the vault, this time from further back, 1989, part of The Janus Directive event. "Manhattan" is spelled "Manhattan" in one of General Wade Eiling's lines.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"Y IS THIS A DISSECTION?"

TITLE: Y: The Last Man (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Brian K. Vaughan (writer).

DISSECTION: Last one, and also from the vault, 2002 in this case. What's wrong with this sentence from the prologue? "This "gendercide" instantaneously exterminated 48% of the global population, or approximately 29 billion men." Easy, innit?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
As bulky as columns can be, with 71 dissections, for an average of 6.9; pretty high. Let's get this show on the road then, with the Moments Of The Week! First up, Chameleon of the LSH creeps me out:

Ew... Next, the return of Barry Allen!


Hell yeah! And last, a sample of why "I Was Kidnapped..." is such a funny book:


Yeah, everyone knows those things only exist in comic books... or porn. At least the hot, lipstick lesbians. All the real life ones I've met are either trucker material or filthy hippies... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #71.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

".... my keen deductive mind says that Arcade is behind this. That and he had his face and name scrawled on the big rock. That was a tip-off." Jamie Madrox, X-Factor V4 #30.

I tried to catch up almost a month ago, and failed, big time. But I'll keep on trying, here's the column for the week of 04/16, and nobody found the answer to the Dissect This! from last column, I'm a bit sad at that. The answer was simple: the writer makes a distinction between android and robot; saying that robots are simple automatons with no free will, and androids are distinguished by having ambition. WRONG! R2-D2 and Johnny 5 are not androids, yet they have free will and aren't simple automatons; while some androids (for example, the animatronics at Disneyworld) that lack free will, or even intelligence. Quickly, The Dissector's Pick Of The Week for Best Book is Hellblazer #243, which reads like classic Hellblazer, and the Worst Book was X-Factor V4 #30... not because it's bad, but because it's not up to par with the usual quality one expects from Peter David (although there's funny moments like this week's quote), and the art is not that much. On with the dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"KRAUT POLICE!"

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Christos N. Gage (writers).

DISSECTION: Blitzschlag's German is wrong. And I didn't even need Dominik for this!

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THAT'S NOT OLLIE!"

TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but there's no way Grace can make Green Arrow trip. Yes, she has superpowers (half-Bana Amazon), but Ollie has at least 10-15 years of combat experience on her, plus that time in the island during the missing year.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARKOVIAN LANGUAGE INSTITUTE."

TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: This one comes from good ICS.net editor Dominik B.: "When Geoforce escapes from the Chinese missiles, he swears in Markovian, which is a country close to the Russian border. He goes “Zürflackt” and “Våerzelph,“ both of which are supposed to be Markovian obscenities. However, those are, if you have as much as an inkling of knowledge about eastern Europe/Western Asia, you will know that the å is a Scandinavian letter, not used anywhere else in the world. And Z’ürflackt has the ü in it, which is only used in German or the translated versions of Chinese or Arabic languages. However, neither of those countries are anywhere near Russia and given the geographical and geopolitical situation of the area, it’s highly unlikely that the language made it that far. So, Z’ürflackt to you too, Mister Dixon!"

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Badge for you, Dom, two more and you make it to Lt. Cmdr.
<-------------------------------->
"BARRY, BACK SO SOON?"

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Tom Chu (colorist).

DISSECTION: Wally West's eyes are colored blue, instead of green as they should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DYING YOUR HAIR AGAIN, OLD TIMERS?"

TITLE: DC/Wildstorm Dreamwar (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: Randy Mayor (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jay Garrick and Ted Grant's hair are colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JUSTICE LEAGUE OF DISSECTION."

TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 239.

CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).

DISSECTION: Come on, this one is easy.


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LEGACY OF A BROKEN KEYBOARD."

TITLE: Iron Man: Legacy Of Doom (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: David Michelinie (writer) and/or Artmonkeys Studios (letterer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte spotted this one, there's a sentence that goes "You might have mentioned there was a war going on! Doom."; a random use of punctuation.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU CHEETER!"

TITLE: Salvation Run (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 07.

CULPRIT: Sean Chen (penciller).

DISSECTION: Cheeta looks like a regular human, and last I heard, she couldn't transform back.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Coloring errors too; Joker's eyes and Mammoth's hair.
<-------------------------------->
"GALILEO! GALILEO! GALILEO FIGARO!"

TITLE: Star Trek Year Four: Enterprise Experiment (IDW Publishing).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: D.C. Fontana & Derek Chester (writers) and/or Gordon Purcell (penciller).

DISSECTION: The Galileo shuttle is shown here, but being the year 2269, it should be the Galileo II, as the first and second Galileo shuttles (with no numeration in their name) were lost in 2267 and 2268. Good art, and everyone has their department insignia.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, I KNOW, HE'S A MUTANT!"

TITLE: Star Trek Year Four: Enterprise Experiment (IDW Publishing).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: D.C. Fontana & Derek Chester (writers).

DISSECTION: What? Arex is a telepath? Since when? Yes, you can come up with this stuff, particularly if you're D.C. Fontana (we're not worthy!)... but never in his many animated series appearances, and handful of novel and comic book appearances has it ever been said that Arex is a telepath... so why start now, just for a cheap plot device, that could have easily been substituted with saying that his species has very sharp senses or something that wouldn't be as blatant as telepathy?

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IF DADDY CLARK USES GLASSES AS A DISGUISE, I'LL DO THE SAME WITH CONTACT LENSES!"

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 675.

CULPRIT: Comicraft (letterer).

DISSECTION: Artist Jorge Correa Jr. is credited as "Jorgé", which is atrocious.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Chris Kent's eyes are colored green instead of brown.
<-------------------------------->
"NO-EARTH."

TITLE: Tangent: Superman's Reign (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 12.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer).

DISSECTION: Again, New Earth is mislabeled "Earth-1".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WOLBERINE: ORIJINS."

TITLE: Wolverine: Origins (Marvel).

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Daniel Way (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte, who earns another badge, tells us that this comic uses 'hippocrite" instead of "hypocrite".

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S NOT M, IT'S N."

TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jeromy, Jeromy, Jeromy. M's skin should be dark, not as fair as Siryn's, and her eyes should be black, not light blue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Twice. It's like he doesn't even know what character he's coloring. Also, Cannonball's accent in his story is gone.
<-------------------------------->
"LA WAKANDA, CUBA."

TITLE: X-Men: Divided We Stand (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 02.

CULPRIT: Sana Takeda (artist, "Home").

DISSECTION: The streets of Wakanda's capital city look like a former European colony, including old, 1950s looking cars that make it seem more like Cuba.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Takeda draws a truck with a regular, fossil fuel burning exhaust, he obviously knows nothing about Wakanda.
<-------------------------------->
Twenty-one dissections, and an average of 7.0; not bad. Let's end this column with the Moments Of The Week, first up we've got one of Marvel's true heroes:


Then, Countdown To Final Crisis might not have been as good as 52, but it had cool moments like this fight between Darkseid and Orion:


Cool! Back to Marvel, we learn who that Captain America that the Red Skull and his buddies have in cold storage:


The Grand Director, aka Commie Smasher Captain America! More Marvel, Dum Dum Dugan does it Nick Fury style:


You'll be missed, Dugan. Speaking of old school, everyone knows that even a blind Deadshot is still deadly:


Look at those faces, priceless!!! And to end, it's Marvel's "Who's Killed More Mutants" ranking!


Oh, come on! Bolivar Trask shouldn't be allowed to compete, he's really in league of his own. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #66.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"That's my name! And when you write it, don't forget the hyphen! You wouldn't believe how many Google searches that screws up!" Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man V1 #553.

Almost there, almost there!!! This is the column for comics published on 03/12, which means that I'm now only one column behind!!! The Dissect This! from last column was correctly spotted by Snakebyte (and ShadZ), as Wolverine's claws making a "snikt" sound, a sound they only make when coated in adamantium; something that hadn't happened yet by WWII. Before we get on with the rest of the column, I want to invite all of my readers to join the Independent Comics Site forums, to comment on the reviews and articles from the site, and engage in interesting discussions about our hobby. There are a few Dissector fans there, too, so you won't feel alone.

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week; Best Book Of The Week goes to Star Wars: Legacy #21.Why? Good understanding by writer John Ostrander of the Star Wars universe, and appropriate art by Omar Francia and good colors by Brad Anderson, all together to create an excellent issue. Yet again we get away from Jedi/Sith rivalries, which are not all there is to the Star Wars Universe, and we get a space battle worthy of a Timothy Zahn or Michael Stackpole Star Wars novel (or better yet, a Star Wars movie… well, almost). Admiral Gar Stazi comes out as a great tactician for the New Repu... Galactic Alliance; and strikes the Empire a deadly blow. Just good Star Wars... plain and simple as that.

Worst Book Of The Week? New Exiles #3, hands down. Chris Claremont continues to weave a boring plot, with implausible use of powers by characters, stock characterization, and just plain dumb plot points such as "We were so much in synch that the psychic shock of our punches hit her astral body with the force of physical blows." Uhm... what?!??!!? Tom Grummet provides acceptable art; but Wilfredo Quintana's colors don't help, being to flat.
<-------------------------------->
"TAMBIEN QUIERO LEER EL DIARIO EL MUNDO."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 553.

CULPRIT: Bob Gale (writer).

DISSECTION: A Hispanic janitor at the hospital JJJ is in recognizes the "bugle" of the (now) DB newspaper logo as "trompeta", which actually means "trumpet". The word for "bugle" in Spanish is "clarín", with "El Clarín" being the translation for the Daily Bugle's name in Spanish language Spidey comics.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, then again, the janitor might not know the actual word for "bugle" in Spanish.
<-------------------------------->
"KRAUT LESSONS."

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott (writer).

DISSECTION: Once again, Dominik B. enlightens us on the wonders of fake Kraut: "On page 14, Baron von Blitzschlag goes “Mein Kinder… My dear boys.” This is another typical case of Babelfish German, where the author just slammed in some random translation obviously not paying attention to the Kraut’s Grammar. The correct version would be “Meine Kinder... My dear boys” as “Kinder” is a plural of “Das Kind” and is formed by putting the female “Die” in front of the pluralized noun. Obviously, the preposition needs to be adapted. Something that Babelfish just can’t do. Once more, Marvel, if you need help in German translations, drop me a line and I’m willing to help for free."

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There also another minor German-related dissection spotted by Dom, who is three badges away from being a Lt. Cmdr.!
<-------------------------------->
"FAIRY TALE QUESTIONS."

TITLE: Avengers Fairy Tales (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: João Lemos (artist).

DISSECTION: Why oh why, does Lemos not draw faces on characters when there's more than one or two people in a given panel? He does it several times.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. I am, however, amazed that Lemos' name is correctly written.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M SO GOOD, I THINK OF MY IDEAS BEFORE I GET THEM!"

TITLE: Batman Confidential (DC).

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer) and/or Rags Morales (penciller).

DISSECTION: The new Wrath tells how the original one styled himself as an anti-Batman (didn't we have that with Proteus?) after he saw Batman's contribution to Jim Gordon's professional success... yet he's shown, arguably before that decision, already in costume.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TEMPORAL DYES."

TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Rip Hunter's hair is colored brown, when it should be blond.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, also, Booster uses the word "salesmen" instead of "salesman" when referring to Max Lord. Oh, and Rip's eyes should be blue, not brown.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU SAY WHAT?"

TITLE: Countdown To Mistery (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 08.

CULPRIT: Pat Brosseau (letterer).

DISSECTION: On page 25, first panel, a word balloon is in the wrong place, pointing to the wrong character, and joined to another balloon for that character, leading to some confusion.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, it is mentioned that the Tower Of Fate no longer stands, which is not true., though it might be incomplete knowledge on the character's part.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE SHRINKING!"

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Tom Derenick (penciller).

DISSECTION: Una's bracers are once more reduced to mere bracelets.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, it's really getting old. Also, we have problems with Kyle's emblem again (wrongly drawn and colored), and Mary Marvel having incomplete eyes in one particular panel.
<-------------------------------->
"CALL HIM BAÑE."

TITLE: Countdown To Final Crisis

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer, Bane origin story) and/or Travis Lanham (letterer, same story).

DISSECTION: The Santa Prisca prison Bane was born and grew up in is called "PeÑa Duro", not "Pena Duro".

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHACKY-WACKY!"

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 65.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Yet another misstep that Snakebyte catches me in! I wrote "Whacker" instead of "Wacker", when referring to how Steven Wacker credited himself in ASM #552. Heh, this week he credited himself as "Stephen Wacker... Freak"!

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MANY RINGS TO RULE THEM ALL!"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Nelson (penciller).

DISSECTION: A flashback is shown of Hal Jordan cutting off Boodikka's hand and taking her power ring... but there are too many rings on Jordan's hand.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, it is Boodikka's recollection and her memories might not be entirely right.
<-------------------------------->
"I BORROWED HAL'S."

TITLE: JLA: Classified (DC).

ISSUE: 54.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (penciller).

DISSECTION: John Stewart's chest emblem is incorrect. And what the hell is up with the JLA in this book? They KILLED Titus!!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, one word balloon reads "JUSTICELEAGUE", and John Stewart has no pupils or irises in one of the last pages... in a close-up, to boot.
<-------------------------------->
"DEVIL ARMADILLO."

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Joyce Chin (artist, Savage Land story).

DISSECTION: For some reason, Devil Dinosaur is drawn as if his skin has plates, like an armadillo.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. And of course, USAgent.
<-------------------------------->
"SAVAGE DISSECTION."

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Joyce Chin (artist, Savage Land story).

DISSECTION: This is a double Dissect This! It's about the same thing, and that's your only clue. One badge for each dissection you spot.


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for one, 8 for the other one. No, it's not Storm's lack of eyes, she MIGHT be using her powers.... although I don't see why.
<-------------------------------->
"YO, SUP, THIS IS VIC VON DOOM!"

TITLE: The Mighty Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: "Okay"? Doctor Doom says "Okay"?!?!?!?

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. One would think Bendis can get Doom's dialogue right, but noooooo.
<-------------------------------->
"DID STORM AND SUPERMAN LEND YOU THEIR POWERS?"

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Psylocke tracks Rogue and her new friends by "flying to the edge of space and scoping out the air currents down below". WTF??!?! First, what is "the edge of space"? And there is no way that Psylocke can survive outside of the atmosphere, or almost outside of it, and there's also no way she can track people by "scoping out" air currents!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Again, Morph's true identity is ignored
<-------------------------------->
"THANK YOU, DATA."

TITLE: Salvation Run (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 07.

CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).

DISSECTION: Why is Metallo talking like Silver Age Brainiac? "I project a forty-seven percent probability that we may damage him permanently if we attack in concert." Oooookaaaay....

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. And Metallo had that flying surfboard before, why does he have two flying trashcan lids now? And also, Mammoth's hair is still colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"DAXAM IS NOT LIKE THIS!!! AH, NEVER MIND..."

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 674.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: I've explained my apprehension on both the Silver Age revival Superman is experimenting, and the fact that his entire continuity is being revised post-Infinite Crisis. In fact, I wish I had the time to write an article on the latter subject. However, despite my misgivings, I accept that both are perfectly valid paths for DC to take, and in the second issue's case, as long as they come out and say "this is the new Superman continuity, ignore what was written before). Still, when this soft reboot clashes with things recently established within DCU continuity, I draw the line. Mon-El's recollection of Daxam paints a world where... and, you know what? I was going to rant on how this Daxam was nothing like the one shown in Sodam Yat's origin, yet I just realized that Mon-El followed Superman's rocket to Earth after Krypton's destruction, which could mean that he's form the past. So, ignore this one.

DISSECT-O-METER: N/A.
<-------------------------------->
"NEXT, THE DAILY FUGLE."

TITLE: Superman Confidential (DC).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: B. Clay Moore (writer) and/or Rob Clark Jr. (letterer).

DISSECTION: One of Perry's speech balloons says "Daily Flanet"... lol, "Flanet"!

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CHEAP PAINT."

TITLE: Thunderbolts (Marvel).

ISSUE: 119.

CULPRIT: Rain Beredo (colorist).

DISSECTION: The Swordsman paints his newly-acquired personal guard (bribed/subverted CSA troopers) with his colors (purple and blue), yet when they scramble out of the door, they're blue only, or at most, have too little purple paint.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COSPLAYERS!"

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Bernard Chang (artist).

DISSECTION: The Khunds look too human, they’re just taller, stockier humans with pointed ears and pink skin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CONTACT-USING DUPE."

TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

DISSECTION: It's Jeremy, again at Marvel! But he's still up to his old antics, and in this case, he colored Jamie Madrox's eyes green, when they're brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, the average went up, with 5.8 Bazzars in 34 dissections, bringing us up to a more normal level. Wait... why am I happy when there's higher ratings? That's wrong!!! Ah, whatever. Let's get on with the Moments Of The Week. Let's start with Nemesis, after being courted by Wonder Woman, realizes something we all knew along, but never had canon confirmation for:


Yeah baby! Amazon society is like a Skinemax film! Bow-chika-bow-wow!!! Next, one of the funny moments Atomic Robo has made us grown used to:


Classic! Makes us wish that the next Atomic Robo mini comes soon. Then, the worst state to be stationed as an Initiative team:


Hehe! Now, don't trust magic objects too much:


That's gotta hurt! Another lesson:


Don't play tag with a Flash! And last, but definitely not least, Captain Jaius Yorub sacrifices himself, and the Indomitable, to deliver a crippling blow to the Empire's shipyards.


Way to go! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #45.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I need a Commodore Sixty-Four." Hank Pym, Mighty Avengers #5.

Sorry for the lateness, this column is for comics published the week before this one, and should have come out on Thursday or Friday as usual, but I've been swamped with a lot of stuff. Let's get started with the Dissect This!, which was the fact that Hal Jordan is shown after killing Kilowog, but he's only wearing one power ring, when by then he already had like ten. What are the Dissector's Picks of the Week, you say? Well, the best book for this week wasn't published the week in question, but about a month ago or so, and it's Atomic Robo #1. Yes, it's a blatant Hellboy rip-off, with a robot instead of a demon, but it's well written, with snappy dialogue like "Don't tell me I'm in the wrong mountain base", and a simple, but engaging plot, all by Brian Clevinger. The art by Scott Wegener is cartoony, in synch with the book's light tone and the (current) setting of the late 30s, and the color Ronda Pattison are clean, but not bland, like I usually complain about similar coloring. Plus, Robo was created by Nikola Tesla, which along with the pulp theme is what drew me to pick up the book... and I don't regret it.

The worst book of the week? Well, I have to say that it was the latest issue of Star Trek: Year Four, #4, and it's entirely a problem with the writing. The art by The Sharp Brothers is good (except for a couple of problems I write about further down as dissections), and even if it's not my cup of tea, it conveys a feeling of "sixtiesness" which is completely appropriate for the TOS setting, a feeling enhanced by Leonard O'Grady's colors. However, Tischman's plot looks like a reject script from TOS itself (and no, I don't think that this book should read like that), with an intended tongue-in-cheek jab at network executives... it's not bad, but it's... lackluster. I do like the idea about a Scott Tipton penned Starfleet Academy series (be it TV or comic)... will it happen?

Before we go on with the dissections, to no one in particular I declare that I want this shirt. It'd make me happy, as much as a t-shirt can.
<-------------------------------->
”UNNECESSARY…”

TITLE: Birds Of Prey.

ISSUE: 111.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: So, the Calculator has to kill a poor tech-guy to steal his uniform and thumb, so he can use them to go to a seminar? Please, he shouldn't need to kill him, he could just knock him out and copy his thumbprint into some sort of glove or fake thumb, as seen on MythBusters and here. Calculator is much more subtle, as Gail Simone was subtler than Bedard.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”PLOT DEVICE-ARE-US.”

TITLE: Birds Of Prey.

ISSUE: 111.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: Misfit cannot teleport from Metropolis to a well-known building in Seattle because her powers "don't work that way", but some issues ago she could teleport all the way to Russia with no point of reference? I say thee bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, cheap plot devices won't save your story, Tony.
<-------------------------------->
”SHYA, LIKE IT’S ACTUALLY A COSTUME…”

TITLE: Brave And The Bold V3.

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: George Pérez (penciller, and it's the first time I see it written correctly).

DISSECTION: Cyclone appears in a group shot, but her costume is drawn incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”CAPTAIN AMERICA: PSYCHIC.”

TITLE: Captain America: The Chosen

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: David Morrel (writer).

DISSECTION: Captain America says that the Supersoldier Serum gave him some sort of psychic abilities. I say thee bullshit. That's one of my new catchphrases.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”SLOW-MORPHING. ”

TITLE: Checkmate V2.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Kalman Andrasofszky (cover artist).

DISSECTION: The cover features Amanda Waller's evidence against her fellow royals in Checkmate, including three photos of Black King Taleb Beni Khalid, who apparently is actually the Martian Manhunter, shifting from the human form to MM's current martianoid form. Problem is, it takes him a total of 29 seconds to transform, when his transformations are usually shown as instantaneous.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”BETCHA DON’T WRITE VONDOOM?”

TITLE: Checkmate V2.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer)

DISSECTION: In the roll-call on page 3, Fire's last name is given as "DACOSTA", when it should be "DA COSTA", or "da Costa", if not spelled in capitals.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, repeat offense.
<-------------------------------->
”TONY THE TIGORR. ”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).

DISSECTION: Bronze Tiger's mask looks wrong, more like Tigorr from the Omega Men.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”FOLLOW THE CRAZY.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

DISSECTION: Deadshot is giving orders to the Suicide Squad, when both its field leader (Rick Flag) and Amanda Waller's second in command (King Faraday, her Bishop) are present, and in fact, King is giving orders too. Also, not an error, but did they have to tell us that Barda was dead? I obviously read Countdown before Death of the New Gods, and Bedard spoiled that for me!

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”YEAH, DICK’S GOT A KILLER FASHION SENSE.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).

DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner's mask is wrong, looks more like a Nightwing mask.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”EVERYBODY THINKS WE’RE EVIL, SO WHY BOTHER?”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer, backup origin stories).

DISSECTION: Trickster and Pied Piper's origins make no mention (except for a very vague reference to Piper being friends with Wally) of their reforming.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”T IS FOR TRICKSTER.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Ethan Van Sciver (penciller/inker, backup origin stories).

DISSECTION: Trickster's current uniform does not have a "T" emblem on its chest.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”WE HAVEN’T READ THAT ONE YET.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Elisabeth V. Gehrlein (editor, backup origin stories).

DISSECTION: The essential storylines section of Piper's origin lists "Countdown Special: The Flash 80-Page Giant", a book that doesn't come out until the week after. Besides, since they're still handcuffed together, Trickster would also be an important part of that Special... or is he sleeping through the whole thing?

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
”THE NEWSBOY LEGION OF HAIRDRESSERS?”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller, and writer, but I'll refer to each "role" he took as it pertains to the specific dissection).

DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen's hairdo is completely different to what he currently sports in Countdown and the Superman books.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Yes, a little extreme, but I think it stands, for Shooter's not checking references..
<-------------------------------->
”WATCH OUT! ”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller, and writer, but I'll refer to each "role" he performed as it pertains to the specific dissection).

DISSECTION: Jimmy's signal watch looks nothing like it should, it looks like a plastic wristband that he found in a child's party favor bag. I mean, look at this:

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. He MIGHT have more than one watch, but I'm not buying it.
<-------------------------------->
”LOVE GLOVES.”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jeromy! Nice of you to stop by, we hadn't had the pleasure of your presence since, oh, column #40! In this case, you've colored Big Barda's costume gloves blue, when they're yellow, at least in the latest version of her armor.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”A MONITOR? WHERE?”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (writer/penciller) and Jeromy Cox (colorist), though it's dubious the latter is responsible.

DISSECTION: Ah, the New Gods from New Genesis! Mighty Orion, wise and departed Highfather, Lightray, your brightness will be forgotten, as Big Barda's beauty and might will be remembered for eons. There's also Mr. Miracle, now in mourning, and one of the Monitors... what? A Monitor? Yes, a Monitor; look at this background (but clearly visible) figure from the spread in pages of 16-17:

It's a Monitor! I don't think poor Jeromy had anything to do with this, I'm pretty sure Starlin TOLD him to color the figure this particular way, but why the hell would this Monitor be there in full view?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”GRRRRRRRR!”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (writer) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letter).

DISSECTION: On page 27, Granny Goodness says "rouges gallery", instead of "rogues." Repeat after me, everybody: "rogues", "emperor", "klingons".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, you wanna make something of it?
<-------------------------------->
”WE, UH…. MOVED?”

TITLE: Death Of The New Gods.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jim Starlin (penciller).

DISSECTION: Big Barda an Mr. Miracle arrive to their home... which looks nothing like the house they last showed living in.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”GREEN, BUT NOT EVERYWHERE.”

TITLE: Green Lantern V4.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Moose Baumann (colorist).

DISSECTION: In last column's Dissect This!, Hal Jordan's costume is colored incorrectly, with the left sleeve (the only one left) being green instead of black.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”EACH TIME IT’S DIFFERENT, LIKE SNOWFLAKES.”

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller).

DISSECTION: Killer Frost yet again looks different. Oh, well, at least Cheetah's got spots and Grodd doesn't look as big as King Kong.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”RED EYE MAD.”

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Alex Sinclair (colorist).

DISSECTION: The Joker's eyes are, for some reason, colored red...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”TIME FOR A DISSECTION AT HOME!”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: M. Zachary Sherman (writer, "Best Offense").

DISSECTION: What's wrong with this page? Dissect This!


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”THE PUTTY COMMANDER.”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: M. Zachary Sherman (writer, "Best Offense").

DISSECTION: Maria Hill is presented as "Deputy Commander", when her rank is Commander, and her position (when Tony Stark is not around) is "Deputy Director".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”YES, S.H.I.E.L.D. HAS A NICE HAIR SALON ON THE HELICARRIER.”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Sotocolor's A. Crossley (colorist).

DISSECTION: Dum Dum Dugan's hair is colored blond, and he's a redhead.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”A.G.A.I.N.”

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Rich Koslowski (writer) and/or Dave Sharpe (letterer).

DISSECTION: Not USAgent, it's U.S.Agent.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MEMORY, HANK?”

TITLE: The Mighty Avengers

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Apart from the fact that Bendis makes Ares talk like a primitive retard, he has Hank Pym think, when faced with Ares, "There's a mythological god of war... in my face!" Yeah, what about all the years you spent on the same team WITH THOR, THE RAGNAROKING GOD OF THUNDER OF NORSE MYTH?!?!?!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”HUUUUUGE-ERNAUT.”

TITLE: New Excalibur.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).

DISSECTION: On the cover, Juggernaut is so fucking massive, that Nocturne is about the size of his head, and two Sages fit in one of his arms! Anyway, this was the last issue of New Excalibur, but Claremont is still writing Exiles, and he's doing a horrible crossover between these two books in X-Men: Die By The Sword; which should really have been done in either book, but no, they had to publish something with the word "X-Men" in the title!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”UNTITLED.BMP.”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: So, it's time to pick on myself. While compiling information for the Autopsy Awards, I found some of my own mistakes. Column #22 is missing the title for each nit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it's an integral part of the column.
<-------------------------------->
”WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND NOT THIS?”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: One of the nits is entitled "WHAT, ARE YOU TOLD FOR SUPERHERO NAMES?", when it should be "(...) TOO OLD (...)".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”V2.V3.V4.V5?”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: All the nits regarding Justice League Of America V2 were labeled "Justice League Of America.V2."

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
”SEVEN OF NINE.”

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: The "Star Trek: Year Four" nit says it's issue 03, omitting the fact that it's 03 of 06.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”NO BADGES FOR YOU.”

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 04 of 06.

CULPRIT: The Sharp Brothers (penciller/inkers).

DISSECTION: Speak of the devil... As you've read above, this issue wasn't of my particular predilection, but apart from that, out of 21 story pages, 16 have the recurring error of no department insignia on the character's Starfleet badge; even having some characters with the insignia showing, at the same "distance" from the camera than characters with no insignia, and when objects in the background are very detailed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars out of repeated offense and blatancy.
<-------------------------------->
”LIKE A PINCH ON THE SHOULDER BY MISTER SPOCK!”

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 04 of 06.

CULPRIT: The Sharp Brothers (penciller/inkers).

DISSECTION: Spock performs a Vulcan nerve pinch by pressing a guard's shoulder, instead of the base of his neck.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”DIG MY TREADS.”

TITLE: Superman Confidential.

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Koi Turnbull (penciller).

DISSECTION: Superman's boots are show as if having treaded soles, and even heels. While the heels might be acceptable, it's been widely shown that his boot soles are plain.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”18 AVEC UNE BALLE…”

TITLE: The Boys.

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).

DISSECTION: On page 19, The Frenchman says "Un balle...", meaning "A bullet"; but "balle" is a feminine noun in French, so it should be "Une balle...".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”HORNY WIENER OR HORNYWIENER?”

TITLE: The Boys.

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer) and/or Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Vas, Butcher's Russian former superhero friend, says first that his codename translated as Love Sausage, but he then says Lovesausage.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
”FANTASTIC CREDIT.”

TITLE: Ultimate Fantastic Four.

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: I'm not really sure who does cover layouts (as in putting in the titles, barcodes, etc, on the art), but I'm betting in this case it's Anthony Dial, who's credited as "Production".

DISSECTION: Thanks to Bored (here's your HDSC badge buddy) for reporting this one; the cover to this issue credits Mark Brooks and Jaime Mendoza for the art, but the first page credits Pasqual Ferry and Justin Ponsor (and I know the pencils and inks inside are Ferry's); when Brooks (and maybe Mendoza) did the cover art, but you don't usually credit cover art on the cover itself.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
”A BULLET THAT CAN’T FLY.”

TITLE: World War III.

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Jack Jadson (penciller) or maybe John Ostrander (writer).

DISSECTION: This is an old one that Miss Kitty Fantastico (badge for you buddy), who says "Anyway, got another one for you, from a while back - I did a quick search of the blog, but couldn't find a reference to it. I picked up World War III issue #4 today, just to fill in my Bulleteer collection (just IC #7 and Birds of Prey #100 to go, both of which I'll be getting trades of sooner or later), and seeing as she was the reason I bought it, I noticed the nits rather quickly, on pages 2 and 7 (the entirety of Alix's appearance in the issue, in fact): she's flying, which she can't do. 52 #50 also has her in the air, but I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt - she's in a more leaping kind of pose, and given her powers, it's quite possible she could get up the momentum to take quite a leap. But WW3 has her in what I'd consider very 'I'm flying!' poses, so - assuming Ostrander didn't specify she be in the air (which seems unlikely), Jack Jadson should get, say, 6 Bazzars for that - she's just one of the background players, but whether or not she can fly is a pretty basic fact that an artist doing a group shot should check"

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars it is, then.
<-------------------------------->
The average for this column is 6.2, pretty up there, I did give out a lot of 10s... Now, I'll have this week's column ready later, like on Saturday... in the meantime, I leave you with the DAYAMN! moment of the week.... Metron has a bed! He actually leaves that chair of his!!!

That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Nitpicker #40.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I'm fat, black, cranky, and menopausal! You do not want to mess with me!" Amanda Waller, Suicide Squad V3 #1.

I know, I failed you; I promised a double column for last week. I've been swamped with work, and even my house got flooded, so you'll excuse me. I will catch up eventually, and you might even have, time permitting, three columns this week. This is the first one, you might get the second one in a couple of days, and then for thursday/friday you might get the one that would make me all caught up. We'll see, hope you can understand if I can't deliver.

Look at that quote up there? Isn't that vintage Amanda Waller? Changing subjects, What are the Nitpicker's Picks of the Week (released on 9/12, you ask? Well, the best book was Booster Gold V2 #2; again with nice storytelling, and good, clean art. The story, by Geoff Johns & Jeff Katz, is entertaining and fast-paced (none of that decompression ballyhoo you get elsewhere); with Booster Gold playing up to Sinestro's vanity; and having a buddy moment with a pre-jerk Guy Gardner after having (unbeknownst to Guy) saved his life... only to actually ruin it for a few years by having a heart to heart with him. Read the book, you'll know what I mean. The art has great layouts by Booster creator Dan Jurgens, and very correct finishes by Norm Rapmund. The coloring is too bright for my taste, but Hi-Fi does it without goofs.

As for the worst book? Well, this week the worst book is a story I kind of actually enjoyed reading... I'm talking about Batman Confidential #9, what seems to be the origin of the Joker. I don't have any actual problems with the story, nor with the art (although the latter is not my cup of tea). My problem with it? The guy who will be Joker gets his face cut up by a batarang... in the shape of a smile... He ends up with a scar in that shape... just like Heath Ledger will have as the Joker in the next Batman movie. Now, I don't really have a problem with the Joker being changed so for the movie (I don't like it, but it's better than barefoot Joker in The Batman), but I just don't like bowing like this to movie continuity.

It's a futile attempt to get readers from the movie going audience, or to at least welcome them to a familiar setting, so they won't feel so alienated if they decide to open a comic... but really, how many non-readers will the movie really attract to comics? And those who do come, they are probably smart enough to realize the difference between movie and comic continuities...

Last column's spot the nit was again guessed by Dominik B. at ICS.net's forums (which I urge you to visit and join), and it was the fact that Vixen's eyes had been colored green, when they're brown, and had even been colored correctly in previous pages. With that, let's get started with the nits, shall we?
<-------------------------------->
"I'M A PHILOSOPHER, WE'RE DIFFERENT, WE CAN WEAR OUR PANTS AS COATS!"

TITLE: Action Philosophers.

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer) and/or Ryan Dunlavey (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Oh noes! Last issue!!! This is an excellent series, and I highly recommend going out there and picking up any of the trades or single issues you can find (the third and final trade comes out in November). Luckily, they will be back some time, and they are starting a new series, Comic Book Comics, portraying the history of the comic book medium. I mean, look at this two page spread, 6 Degrees Of Separation Of Francis Bacon, and tell me if they're not geniuses!

But where's the nit? Well, on page 29, while telling of Baruch Spinoza's life, panel one shows how an assassin tries to stab him, piercing his coat. Then on the next panel, they tell how Spinoza kept the coat as a reminder of that day, but the image shows what looks like a pair of pants, inside a glass display case.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN GLOW OF HEALTH."

TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Nathan Eyring (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Isis eyes are colored green, when they are actually brown.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it could be a side effect of the Lazarus Pit.
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN GLOW OF FASHION MAKEOVERS."

TITLE: Countdown Presents The Search For Ray Palmer: Wildstorm / Countdown.

ISSUE: One-shot / 33.

CULPRIT: Angel Unzueta (penciller) and Allen Passalaqua (colorist) / Carlos Magno (penciller), Tom Chu (colors), and Talent Caldwell & JD Smith (cover artists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Kyle Rayner's costume is drawn and colored slightly between the cover of Countdown #33, its interior pages, and the pages of Countdown Presents... even between pages of that same book.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JOIN THE 99% OF COMIC CHARACTERS..."

TITLE: Countdown Presents The Search For Ray Palmer:

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Allen Passalaqua (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 21, Jenny Quantum's eyes are colored blue, when she's supposed to have Asian features (barely recognizable from Unzueta's lines).

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, I don't actually have a reference to quote.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT SHE LACKS IN HEELS..."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Carlos Magno (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 11, Mary Marvel's boots lack heels. Truth be told, though, she does have nice breasts and we get a nice upskirt view...

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COUNTDNOW."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Adam Beechen (writer) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Page 15, Jimmy says "beofre" instead of "before".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I USED A LAZARUS PIT."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Tom Chu (colors).

NIT-TO-PICK: Donna Troy's eyes are colored green on page 19.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MY CELL PHONE IS LOW ON BATTERY, I'LL JUST CARRY AROUND A PHONE WITH A VERY LONG CORD."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4.

ISSUE: 23.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Hal complains that his ring's almost out of power, which is a good excuse for him to wear a bunch of yellow rings... but Green Lantern's have been shown to carry (including Hal) their power battery stored inside their rings. Hell, there's a panel I have in my head right now where John Stewart, the late Katma Tui, and Dalor of Timron, GL of Sector 2813 recharge their rings in the middle of space, producing their batteries from nowhere.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, ignoring previously established things for a plot device, when a couple of panels showing Hal actually losing his battery to the enemies could have been easily added. Man, an eight... that felt good!!!! BWA-HA-HA!
<-------------------------------->
"WE MADE THE ILUMINATTI POLISH IT... WITH TOOTHBRUSHES!"

TITLE: Heroes For Hire V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Clay Mann (penciller) and/or Brand Anderson (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 9, Hulk's ship looks too smooth and light-colored, like it's made of metal, instead of stone.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MY PARENTS HAD A WEIRD SENSE OF HUMOR."

TITLE: Heroes For Hire V2.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer, backup story).

NIT-TO-PICK: The male S.H.I,E.L.D. agent is called by his partner "Noriko". which is a female name.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARVEL? SHIPPING LATE? NAAAAAH!"

TITLE: All World War Hulk Books.

ISSUE: N/A.

CULPRIT: Mark Paniccia (World War Hulk event editor), other editors.

NIT-TO-PICK: Oh surprise, Marvel has fallen behind schedule with WWH, and the checklist running on each book that's part of the event is seriously outdated.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KANSAS FARM GLAMOUR."

TITLE: JLA Classified.

ISSUE: 42.

CULPRIT: I.L.L.

NIT-TO-PICK: Jonathan Kent is shown on page one, finding baby Kal-El (though it looks like a doll) in the rocket, but his hair is colored blonde, not brown, as it should be.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOPE, NO BOMBS ON HIM. HE'S A-OK!"

TITLE: JLA Classified.

ISSUE: 42.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Superman says that he used his x-ray vision to determine if J'onn Jonzz was a threat. Uhm... how does that go?

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RUNAWAY GROOM."

TITLE: Justice League Of America Wedding Special.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (cover penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Why is Green Arrow not on the cover? It kind of looks like Dinah is marrying Wonder Woman... hmm... I wouldn't mind seeing that wedding night! I know Benes is good at drawing hot chicks, but there's only one male (Superman) on the cover!!!

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE JUST HIRED ONE OF THE STRIPPERS TO POSE AS HER, WHO'S GONNA KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?"

TITLE: Justice League Of America Wedding Special.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (cover penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Starfire is in costume and using her powers on the cover, when she currently doesn't have any powers, and is taking some time away from the super hero scene.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLLIE, DON'T GIVE THE RINGS TO HAL, HE'LL LOSE THEM!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America Wedding Special.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mike McKone (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Hal Jordan is not wearing his GL ring on page four (panel one), then he is on the next page (panel four), only for it to disappear by the next panel!

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S MY VENTRILOQUY ARROW."

TITLE: Justice League Of America Wedding Special.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Rob Leigh (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 9, Red Arrow's word balloon on panel one is pointing at Ollie.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPOT THIS ONE, OH YEAH, SPOT IT."

TITLE: Justice League Of America Wedding Special.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mike McKone (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Look at this panel and tell me what you see:

Clue, this is not the only panel it happens in, and you can't even see the entirety of the fuck up in this sole image. In fact, it's not the first time it happens, but I just noticed it now. Come, you've got all the clues, go ahead and spot it!

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I JUST ASSUMED IT."

TITLE: Justice League Of America Wedding Special.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman are attacked by Dr. Light and Cheetah, who make no mention of being working with anyone else, yet on page 37 Kendra knows that they're working with Luthor and the Joker.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it could be an assumption on her part.
<-------------------------------->
"I STOLE IT FROM LION-O."

TITLE: Justice League Of America Wedding Special.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mike McKone (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the last page, Hawkman is wearing a belt with his emblem, almost larger than the one on his chest... problem is, he's never worn such a belt, just regular buckled belts. Even if it's his dress uniform or something like that, come on Carter, there is such thing as over-accessorizing!

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FALSE MEMORIES."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The book opens with a narration by Power Girl, who states that after arriving on "this" Earth (meaning Post COIE Earth, now New Earth) she thought her cousin (Kal-L, Earth-2 Superman) was dead. Now, up to Infinite Crisis, and this was a big point of her miniseries and Infinite Crisis itself, she didn't remember her true origin.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Yes, it could be how she remembers it now, on New Earth, but nothing has been said explicitly about it.
<-------------------------------->
"CHEST PAINS."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Once again, Jay Garrick's chest emblem is drawn in correctly (see previous weeks).

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, it'll keep rising.
<-------------------------------->
"I FORGOT TO DYE IT THIS WEEK."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox & Hi-Fi (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Jay Garrick's hair is colored completely white, when only his temples are white/grey.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I TOOK SOMEBODY ELSE'S SHOES!"

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox & Hi-Fi (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: Man, have these guys ever SEEN Jay Garrick before? His boots are colored yellow (and not Flash-yellow, but eye-hurting yellow) instead of red.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S A HORRIBLE COSTUME, ANYWAY."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox & Hi-Fi (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by Miss Kitty Fantastico (who by the way, earns yet another HNSC badge), who I quote: "On page 5 (not counting the cover) Cyclone's costume is coloured red on the drape around her chest, green on the lower dress, and green on the sleeveless top beneath it. In earlier issues it's been red top, green dress and drape; regardless of whether this is meant to be a different version of her costume, on page 13 the colours have reversed: green drape, red dress and top, and on the following page her stockings, which should be alternating red and pale blue/white stripes, look like pale blue/green stripes painted onto her bare legs.

I'd point the finger at Hi-Fi (whatever that is), as on all previous issues Cox is credited alone as colourist, and regardless of Dale Eaglesham's tendency to forget that Cyclone wears a top under her dress, the colours have always been consistent (in fact, I recall in one issue, where she was in the background so it didn't stand out, the top was colored in spite of their being no outline for it, thus preventing a nit)."

I love the stockings on Cyclone's costume, but the rest of it is horrible... like you said, a gym top and a drape.... ugh.... I'll ask Blockade Boy to do Rescue Her.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE RETURN OF THE FURRY OF WILDCAT!"

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Wildcat I's mask is drawn with gigantic fangs, almost as if he was a sabretooth tiger... in fact, his mask DOESN'T even have fangs at all. First Alex Sanchez at JSA: Classified makes him a furry, now he's Sabretoothman?

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"INITIALIZING THE INITIATIVE."

TITLE: Moon Knight V5.

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Axel Alonso (editor) & Daniel Ketchum (assistant editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: The recap page states that the events in this issue take place before Civil War #6 & 7, yet the cover to this issue and the previous one have a "THE INITIATIVE" banner. WRONG!

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE CAN... UHM... FEEL THE VIBRATION CAUSED BY SPEECH IN THE AIR AROUND HER..."

TITLE: New Avengers.

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Leinil Yu (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: The Guvnor Paul C made us realize that it's impossible for Maya Lopez (who's deaf) to read the lips of someone who's behind her. A badge for the Guvnor.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RANDOM STAR TREK PAINTING, ANYONE?"

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Joe Corroney (cover artist).

NIT-TO-PICK: The cover (the one I got of three variants) features Chekov, who's not a member of the Enterprise's crew during this fourth year, with Arex as his replacement (even seen inside the book)... in fact, this cover consists of Chekov, Sulu and Scotty, with only the latter having an actual role inside the book.

This issue was actually better, both art and story wise, than the first one, though the art is still too simple for my taste.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, would have been lower if it didn't have Chekov.
<-------------------------------->
"WE JUST WORK IN ANY DIVISION WE FEEL LIKE IT."

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Steve Conley (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: Page four clearly show's McCoy's department insignia, but nothing on Spock's Enterprise badge; nor on Kirk's.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, again people lack division markings all over the issue.
<-------------------------------->
"FACELESS CREWMEMBERS."

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Steve Conley (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: Conley again decides to forgo drawing faces on people's heads.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. No less, sorry.
<-------------------------------->
"ONE-SHOT."

TITLE: Suicide Squad V3.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: John Ostrander.

NIT-TO-PICK: Well, I'm very happy about this book, read my review of this first issue here. However, Ostrander makes his first mistake, saying that Squad members were freed after just one mission. It was never specified how many missions you had to perform, but it was always implied that you worked your way to freedom (for example, Captain Boomerang had done well enough that he was allowed to live "off-campus" from Belle Reve, but still wearing a tracking device).

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CHANGED CLOTHES BEHIND THE NUCLEAR BOMB."

TITLE: Suicide Squad V3.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Javi Pina (penciller)

NIT-TO-PICK: Rick Flag is shown in a flashback, where he destroys Jotunheim (the Jihad's headquarters), but he's not wearing the same clothes than in the original sequence back in Suicide Squad V1 #25.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, he's wearing completely different clothes.
<-------------------------------->
"MAGENTA TIGER."

TITLE: Suicide Squad V3.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jason Wright (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Bronze Tiger's orange-brown uniform is the same shade as Deadshot's red costume.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I USED TO MOONLIGHT AS CAPTAIN KIRK'S YEOMAN."

TITLE: Suicide Squad V3.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Javi Pina (penciller)

NIT-TO-PICK: Page 22, panel 2, Nightshade doesn't have a face.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, you at least can see some features.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M WEARING MAKE-UP."

TITLE: Suicide Squad V3.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Jason Wright (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Nightshade's skin is colored Caucasian during the whole issue, when all the action happens after her absorbing the Succubus' power, so it should be chalk white. Also, her hair is too short, but being that it is (or was, don't know now in Shadowpact) made of "living shadows", she probably could manipulate it's length.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, she could be wearing make-up..
<-------------------------------->
"LOW-FLYING AIRSPACE."

TITLE: Thor V3.

ISSUE: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

CULPRIT: 03.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page twenty, a completely-peed-in-his-iron-undies Tony Stark says that Thor's Asgard (a fortress floating over an Oklahoma field) could be treated as an embassy, for the purposes of it not being actual U.S. territory. That sounds good, but then he goes and adds "Especially since it's technically eight feet above U.S. territory." Uhm, Tony, it'd still be U.S. airspace...

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"EVERY MORNING WHEN I GET UP I TRASH THE PLACE AND KILL THREE STUDENTS WHO SLEEP ABOVE MY ROOM."

TITLE: Ultimate X-Men.

ISSUE: 86.

CULPRIT: Yanick Paquette (penciller) and/or Robert Kirkman (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 10, Scott "Cyclops" Summers is shown sleeping without the goggles he uses in regular X-Men comics to sleep with, then fumbling for his glasses on the nightstand... come on, even if it's never been established in Ultimate continuity that he sleeps with goggles, why would he trust himself not to open his eyes when he wakes up?

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KIRK GIVES OUT THESE JOBS LIKE THEY'RE ANDORIAN CANDY!"

TITLE: Ultimate X-Men.

ISSUE: 86.

CULPRIT: Yanick Paquette (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Dazzler and Psylocke have no faces on page 21, panel 2; and Angel and the Fenris twins barely have one.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. He can draw a gazillion hairs in Wolverine's arms, but not faces on other characters?
<-------------------------------->
"BLIND RAGE."

TITLE: Ultimate X-Men.

ISSUE: 86.

CULPRIT: Yanick Paquette (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Wolverine has no pupils or irises in the aforementioned page, panel three.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well, this week we got an average of 5.7 Bazzars, and I must say that I've found a middle ground between my exaggerated ratings, and the milder ones. Let's see how that works out. Now, for the WTF?/DAYAMN! moment, this time it's a DAYAMN! moment, and it obviously is:

Black Adam bungee jumping using the innards of a Yeti he's just gutted! Hardcore!

That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!