DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"TAKE MY TENTACLE!" Random alien, Doctor Who #6.
Seventy five columns! Nice number, isn't it? I accept diamond gifts, if you like... or from Diamond Distribution. This column is on comics published the week of 05/14, and by the way, nobody found the DT! from last time. Captain America's costume lacks the stripes in the back... remember, it's based on the US flag?
Quick, Dissector's Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week is, without a doubt, Thunderbolts #120, a veritable action and laughs fest thanks to Norman Osborn... oh yes, and some guys lead by a certain Warren Ellis. Worst Book Of The Week? Hmm, let me think...Wonder Woman V3 #20... great art, and I'm sure Gail Simone's working her ass off for this storyline... but I'm just not feeling it. It might not be a bad story, of poor quality, but I just don't enjoy it. Oh, about the quote of the week... only in Doctor Who... only in Doctor Who...
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"IN A GADDA DA VIDA!"
TITLE: All-New Iron Manual (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Anthony Flamini & others (writers).
DISSECTION: Veda's name is "Magdalena" not "Magdelina".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"THE DISSECTOR V2."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 74.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Three dissections in one column! The first one was discovered by Snakebyte, who gets a badge and makes lieutenant, pointing out that I erroneously labeled Invincible Iron Man as V5, when it's V2. I also labeled Captain America as V2 when it's V5, and labeled a DC book in the title section of the dissection as (DC Comics) instead of my usual (DC), Not wrong, but I wasn't following my own conventions.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the volume ones, 1 for the DC one.
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"QUESTION EVERYTHING."
TITLE: GeNext (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Patrick Scherberger (penciller).
DISSECTION: Characters with no faces.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"I WENT TO THE SAME BIOLOGY CLASS AS DWAYNE."
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).
DISSECTION: Pete, plants are "flora", not "fauna".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Kyle's emblem is drawn incorrectly.
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"JUNTA ERRORES."
TITLE: The Last Defenders (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).
DISSECTION: Junta (a codename that makes no sense) has a robot who speaks the most awful Spanish ever. Well, not worse than Blue Beetle #26.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"BLACK CAT?"
TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Wil Quintana (colorist).
DISSECTION: Wil, would you explain to me why Cat (an alternate dimension Kitty Pryde) is colored as if she were black, or part black?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. And of course, Morph.
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"SUPERPODERES!"
TITLE: Project Superpowers (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03 of 07.
CULPRIT: Jim Krueger (writer).
DISSECTION: Three instances of horrible Spanish
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the worst, 7 for the other two.
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"TITANS, DISSECT TOGETHER!"
TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Joe Benitez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check it out, and tell me what's wrong here:
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, on another note, Starfire's skin is colored incorrectly in some pages, making it seem that she's got normal human Caucasian skin, a bit tan, but not her alien orange.
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"ВЫЕЗД!"
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Colossus (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Trevor Hairsine (penciller).
DISSECTION: An exit sign in a Russian FSS (Federal Security Service, successor, among other things, to KGB) is in English.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Banshee's costume in the last page is wrong.
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"OH, DEUS!"
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Ah, they keep getting better, but never will they get the Spanish right. Come on, 14.8% of the US population is Hispanic, around 44 million people! Get a consultant! In this case, there are several things, but the worst is calling Christ "Christos", when it's "Cristo" in Spanish.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Still, five dissections in one issue is almost passable. Almost anything is, compared to Blue Beetle #26.
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Well, that's almost a wrap... 6.6 average Bazzars in twenty two nits, pretty cool, huh? Before we go, Moments Of The Week! First, Everybody's Dead continues to make me laugh, this time, with zombie trick-or-treaters (remember, it's the morning after Halloween):
Of course, you give them human flesh! Next, a great scene, alone with Norman "Green Goblin" Osborn:
Norman for president! And now, just a moment of pure, unadulterated awesomeness:
Tell me you wouldn't wet your pants with that flying your way! Last, Tiny Titans, always telling it like it is:
At least it's not jeans and a tank top... or a t-shirt... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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