The Dissector

The Dissector #76.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"*cough*wifebeater." Prodigy (Ritchie Gilmore), on Hank Pym, Avengers: The Initiative #13.

One step closer to being up to date, although there's some stuff in my future work plate that I know will make me fall behind again... unless I can write a column a day... Well, last column's Dissect This! was not found by my readers (granted, I didn't give them much time), but it's the fact that Beast Boy is morphed into some sort of demonic goat with a cape... and he's not a metamorph, just a zoomorph. Not much to say, except to launch the Dissector's Picks Of The Week (this is week 05/21, by the way):

Best Book Of The Week was Amazing Spider-Man V1 #560; just a nice story, even though the art is not my cup of tea. Plus, Mary Jane! Worst Book Of The Week was Checkmate V2 #26, not particularly bad, but unoriginal and boring. Now, go on to them dissections, please.
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"CUT PART A AND FOLD INTO PART B."

TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 560.

CULPRIT: Marcos Martin (artist) and/or Dan Slott (writer).

DISSECTION: I know Paperdoll's victims end up as paper thin corpses, but everything said in the book confirms that they don't change composition, they don't actually turn into paper, but end up compressed (sort of as Flatman), which makes completely unlikely that a forensic investigator would use a non-medical pair of scissors and a box cutter to do the autopsy.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"BATMAN AND THE DISSECTORS!"

TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Carlos Rodríguez (penciller).

DISSECTION: Check this out, it's a hard one this time around:

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"BALCK PANTHER."

TITLE: Black Panther V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 36.

CULPRIT: Reginald Hudlin (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: The word "missile" is spelled as "missle". One of these days I'm going to find out if letterers copy/paste text or retype it...

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"HE MOVES SO FAST, WE CAN NEVER GET A GOOD A GOOD PICTURE OF HIM."

TITLE: The Brave And The Bold V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Jerry Ordway (penciller).

DISSECTION: Jay Garrick's chest emblem, as usual, is drawn incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"CECKMATE."

TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Bruce Jones (writer).

DISSECTION: A Venezuelan man yells "JESUCHRISTO!", when it's "Jesucristo".

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"PSIBORG."

TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 06.

CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer) and/or Steve Wands (letterer).

DISSECTION: The surname "Pérez" (my own, by the way) is spelled "Peréz", which is, of course, incorrect.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Cyborg's friend, Ron, has brown eyes... then in one page he's got blue eyes.
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"FASTER THAN HIS OWN BOOTS!"

TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 240.

CULPRIT: Freddie E. Williams II (artist).

DISSECTION: Jay Garrick's boots are drawn incorrectly, without the wings, and too high.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"NOT EVEN IN HIS OWN TEAM BOOK..."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).

DISSECTION: Jay's emblem, as usual.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"CANARY FASHION."

TITLE: Tangent: Superman's Reign (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 12.

CULPRIT: Jamal Igle (penciller).

DISSECTION: Black Canary's boots are drawn incorrectly. At least they started calling New Earth by its correct name.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"BUZZ OFF."

TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Peter David (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: Rictor calls Arcade a "zañgano", a word that doesn't exist, it's supposed to be "zangano" (as in a drone, in bees). Plus, the "Ñ" is smaller than the rest of the letters to account for the tilde, which is incorrect, it should be the same size.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"FUZZY MEMORIES."

TITLE: X-Men: Divided We Stand (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 02.

CULPRIT: David Lafuente (artist, "The Sun Also Sets" story).

DISSECTION: Lafuente depicts Surge's memories of the Messiah Complex events, and draws her costume (and hairstyle) different from what she wore back then.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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A week with a regular average of 6.4 Bazzars, in thirteen dissections total. Moments Of The Week! Wait... someone else is doing Moments Of The Week, and that's Kirk Warren over at Weekly Crisis. He's been doing them since September 12, 2007, while I started doing Moments Of The Week in December that year... but September 1st, 2007, marks the first time I had the "WTF?/DAYAMN!" moments of the week, which ended up being basically the same thing. So we've been doing this almost for the same amount of time, and some of our MOTs match (including on his first MOT, Black Adam bungee jumping with Yeti entrails), so my hat's off to Kirk.

What's my first MOT this week? Reed Richard's anniversary gift to his wife:

Really Reed? A micro-galaxy with actual, living, sentient beings inside of it? Isn't that a little bit callous? Next, one of my favorite ultimizations of a Marvel character:

Va-va-boom!!!! Agatha Harkness has never looked so good! Now, a mystery revealed:

Batman is not THAT much of a dick... And last... despite the artist making her look like Amy Winehouse, this is a good moment:

"It's magic"? "let me explain to ya"? And she's reading Faust?!?!? That's rich, Dan Slott, very rich. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!