(From Doctor Who #9, 2011.)
Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Dissector #195.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"AAAH! I'M BEING FELT UP BY A PERVERT FROM BEYOND SPACE AND TIME!!" Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man #653.
Here we are with a very short column for the week of 02/02, and only a few days late! Last week's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe who noticed that if Steel is talking about the four Super-shield wielding characters from "Reign Of The Supermen", one can't say that the Cyborg Superman (Hank Henshaw) signed up for "fighting the good fight". Quite the opposite, really. Badge for you, JD.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are these: Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 Annual #1... classic Legion fun with Paul Levitz writing, and Keith Giffen dipping in the Kirby-inkwell. A must for any Legion fans. Worst Book Of The Week was, as it was once last month, Batman Confidential, this time issue #53. Boring, slow, yawn. Cover Of The Week, there wasn't anything that stood out much, but this cover for Freedom Fighters #6, by Dave Johnson, was pretty nice, and slightly Sterankoesque.
By the way, the three things I had to say last week still stand, so I'll just quote myself:
The Rundown: Batman Confidential (Hal's badge), JSA All-Stars ("acult" instead of "a cult"), Secret Six V3 (Rita Farr's eyes, and "American's sweetheart"), Time Masters: Vanishing Point (Hal's badge, Rip Hunter's eyes and hair). Yeah, short like that.
<-------------------------------->
"THE CAGE."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man (Marvel).
ISSUE: 653.
CULPRIT: Stefano Caselli (penciller).
DISSECTION: For some reason, both on the cover and inside, Luke Cage has blank eyes. Why? Isn't it enough to look at one reference image of the character and see he has normal looking eyes? That besides bullets bouncing off his skin and him lifting trucks there are no visible manifestation of his powers? I understand giving Magneto or the Molecule Man blank eyes when they're using their powers at a high level (even if it's not standard design for them, as it is with Storm), but Luke Cage? You're working on pre-existing characters, shared creations, being a good artist is not enough, you have to respect character designs.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Jessica Jones' eyes are colored wrong, and Squirrel Girl is missing the markings around her eyes.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTOR'S ORDERS."
TITLE: Doctor Who Classics: The Seventh Doctor (IDW).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: John Ridgway (penciller).
DISSECTION: This one is for Whovians, but anyone who's seen a bit of the show should be able to notice it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PEAK PERFORMANCE."
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Cosmic Boy wonders if any of the Legion's fast responders are able to get to Orando (a planet reportedly far away from Earth and from regular space routes) for an emergency, and mentions Wildfire and Dawnstar... now, they can travel through space, but they've never exhibited super-speed. In fact, not even characters with super-speed and flight, like Mon-El and Ultra Boy should have enough speed to get there in time. Ultra Boy, now that I mention him, probably wouldn't be able to fly as fast as Mon-El even, since he has to use one power at a time; and I doubt his super-speed would be able to affect the speed his flight ring propels him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. As usual, Dawnstar's powers are incomplete, and we also have Sensor Girl's eyes colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"HARD TIME."
TITLE: Superman 80-Page Giant V3 (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Neil Kleid (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's assume Perry White is what, 70-73 years old? That's as far as I'm willing to go with him... then during the 40s, when the JSA, particularly Wildcat, who he shares this story with, and the Guardian (Jim Harper, though not a JSA member) were active, he was... not even born? Three years old in 1940? If we stretch his age to 80, he was ten in 1941? Sorry, but the timelines for him to have been a cub reporter back then don't make sense, particularly when he's recently been shown befriending Lex Luthor when they were both young men (in their 20s, perhaps Perry in his 30s and Lex in his 20s); and Lex is shown to be not that much older than Clark Kent.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Both Perry and Wildcat's eyes are colored wrong, and Wildcat and the Guardian shouldn't have public identities back in the 40s.
<-------------------------------->
This week had nineteen total dissections, and a 6.2 Bazzars average. Normal. Moments Of The Week are all (except one) from the Legion Annual that was best book of the week. First up, Violet defeats the Emerald Eye:
... but not without some consequences:
Emerald Vi again? And in case you wanna learn the Legion's history quickly and in a fun way? The Legion History Boardgame!
Yeah, it's a large image, but I decided not to resize it so you could enjoy it. No mention of what happened between The Magic Wars and the recent return of the original LSH... And last, what shouldn't you feed to giant monsters?
MODOK BRAINS!!! That's gonna end up badly... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"AAAH! I'M BEING FELT UP BY A PERVERT FROM BEYOND SPACE AND TIME!!" Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man #653.
Here we are with a very short column for the week of 02/02, and only a few days late! Last week's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe who noticed that if Steel is talking about the four Super-shield wielding characters from "Reign Of The Supermen", one can't say that the Cyborg Superman (Hank Henshaw) signed up for "fighting the good fight". Quite the opposite, really. Badge for you, JD.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are these: Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 Annual #1... classic Legion fun with Paul Levitz writing, and Keith Giffen dipping in the Kirby-inkwell. A must for any Legion fans. Worst Book Of The Week was, as it was once last month, Batman Confidential, this time issue #53. Boring, slow, yawn. Cover Of The Week, there wasn't anything that stood out much, but this cover for Freedom Fighters #6, by Dave Johnson, was pretty nice, and slightly Sterankoesque.By the way, the three things I had to say last week still stand, so I'll just quote myself:
First, that I built a Facebook fan page for the column... Here it is. Please go click "like"; and promote it. Second, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVEN'T VOTED IN THE 2010 AUTOPSY AWARDS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Seriously, go check out the nominations and vote. If you already voted, please disregard this outburst. Also, while you're at it, there's a design-your-own-superhero contest at Talenthouse, sponsored by The Stan Lee Foundation... would you mind going to this page and click on the right to vote with your Facebook account? Thanks!
The Rundown: Batman Confidential (Hal's badge), JSA All-Stars ("acult" instead of "a cult"), Secret Six V3 (Rita Farr's eyes, and "American's sweetheart"), Time Masters: Vanishing Point (Hal's badge, Rip Hunter's eyes and hair). Yeah, short like that.
<-------------------------------->
"THE CAGE."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man (Marvel).
ISSUE: 653.
CULPRIT: Stefano Caselli (penciller).
DISSECTION: For some reason, both on the cover and inside, Luke Cage has blank eyes. Why? Isn't it enough to look at one reference image of the character and see he has normal looking eyes? That besides bullets bouncing off his skin and him lifting trucks there are no visible manifestation of his powers? I understand giving Magneto or the Molecule Man blank eyes when they're using their powers at a high level (even if it's not standard design for them, as it is with Storm), but Luke Cage? You're working on pre-existing characters, shared creations, being a good artist is not enough, you have to respect character designs.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Jessica Jones' eyes are colored wrong, and Squirrel Girl is missing the markings around her eyes.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTOR'S ORDERS."
TITLE: Doctor Who Classics: The Seventh Doctor (IDW).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: John Ridgway (penciller).
DISSECTION: This one is for Whovians, but anyone who's seen a bit of the show should be able to notice it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PEAK PERFORMANCE."
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: Annual 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Cosmic Boy wonders if any of the Legion's fast responders are able to get to Orando (a planet reportedly far away from Earth and from regular space routes) for an emergency, and mentions Wildfire and Dawnstar... now, they can travel through space, but they've never exhibited super-speed. In fact, not even characters with super-speed and flight, like Mon-El and Ultra Boy should have enough speed to get there in time. Ultra Boy, now that I mention him, probably wouldn't be able to fly as fast as Mon-El even, since he has to use one power at a time; and I doubt his super-speed would be able to affect the speed his flight ring propels him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. As usual, Dawnstar's powers are incomplete, and we also have Sensor Girl's eyes colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"HARD TIME."
TITLE: Superman 80-Page Giant V3 (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Neil Kleid (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's assume Perry White is what, 70-73 years old? That's as far as I'm willing to go with him... then during the 40s, when the JSA, particularly Wildcat, who he shares this story with, and the Guardian (Jim Harper, though not a JSA member) were active, he was... not even born? Three years old in 1940? If we stretch his age to 80, he was ten in 1941? Sorry, but the timelines for him to have been a cub reporter back then don't make sense, particularly when he's recently been shown befriending Lex Luthor when they were both young men (in their 20s, perhaps Perry in his 30s and Lex in his 20s); and Lex is shown to be not that much older than Clark Kent.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Both Perry and Wildcat's eyes are colored wrong, and Wildcat and the Guardian shouldn't have public identities back in the 40s.
<-------------------------------->
This week had nineteen total dissections, and a 6.2 Bazzars average. Normal. Moments Of The Week are all (except one) from the Legion Annual that was best book of the week. First up, Violet defeats the Emerald Eye:
... but not without some consequences:
Emerald Vi again? And in case you wanna learn the Legion's history quickly and in a fun way? The Legion History Boardgame!
Yeah, it's a large image, but I decided not to resize it so you could enjoy it. No mention of what happened between The Magic Wars and the recent return of the original LSH... And last, what shouldn't you feed to giant monsters?
MODOK BRAINS!!! That's gonna end up badly... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The Dissector #190.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"When I dedicated my life in service to you as Sorcerer Supreme... I remember I closed my eyes and I prayed that one day I would grow up to be a second-rate Jarvis for a second-rate pile of Avengers." Wong, New Avengers V2 #7.
Late, late, late... I know; but here we are with one of the last columns of the year (there will be possibly one more, maximum two), and one of the last before the last comics of the year are published. These, in particular, were released on 12/08. Last column's DT was cracked by Donald313, who pointed out that Aquaman is not half-human, but half-Atlantean, half-Atlantean wizard/demigod. Reader Darryn asked Dan DiDio on Facebook, and DiDio vaguely replied "roll with it". That's not really a confirmation of a retcon to pre-Crisis Aquaman (which is stupid, and makes him more of a Namor knock off); just a FB comment... in last week's issue of Brightest Day, Aquaman mentions Tom Curry as his father; but he doesn't specifically say he's his biological father... until it's explicitly mentioned in a comic, I won't consider it valid. And when it is, I'm still not retracting, because it wasn't done properly beforehand. Yeah, it's my column. Oh, Badge for Donald!
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week weren't spectacularly bad or good... Best Book Of The Week was Booster Gold V2 #39; good read, nice art, but filler. Worst Book Of The Week was Stargate: Daniel Jackson #4, last issue of a mini that had very weak art, and a story that could have been told in a one-shot. And then there's the Cover Of The Week, a nice piece by Marko Djurdjevic for one of the many (unnecessary) Chaos War tie-ins.
The Rundown: B.P.R.D. V2 (series numbering), Booster Gold V2 (eye and hair colors), Chaos War: Ares ("banish this place"?), DC Universe Holiday Special 2010 (wonky phrasing in the Anthro story at one point, John Stewart couldn't have likely patrolled Baghdad, Batman is very well known and recognized as a hero and not a mysterious vigilante like its implied in the Superman story, Supes refers to all heroes as "metahumans", in the Spectre story a speech balloon is misplaced, and in the Legion story, Abnett and Lanning mention stargates, which are not in use in the current LSH continuity), Detective Comics (Dick Grayson's costume is all wrong, emblem, gloves, and belt; in the backup story, Renee's eyes are colored incorrectly), Invaders Now! (accented letter), Justice League: Generation Lost (Fire's hair is inexplicably red in a panel), Namor: The First Mutant (Namor's ankle wings are ginormous on the cover, his eyes are miscolored inside, and the logomancer is still Caucasian colored, with no comment from any character, when they keep reminding Namor, their king, that he's a half-breed), New Avengers V2 (inconsistent lettering on credits and coming attractions page, Victoria Hand's eyes are colored incorrectly, and Danielle Cage is too young and doesn't look like she should), Northlanders (accented letter, and "Commonweath"), R.E.B.E.L.S. (Soranik Natu, John Stewart, and Ganthet have blank eyes at points, John's badge is wrong on the cover, "alternativeto", "forece", Soranik and Kyle should have green boots, not white... and not a dissection, but if John is now a Honor Guard Lantern, who's 2814.2?), Red Robin ("unlimted"), Shadowland: After The Fall ("isn't the Black Panther some sort of African hero?" Come on!!! He was until very recently king of a prominent country, had a celebrity wedding, and has been an Avenger!), What If? Wolverine: Father (Daken's mother is gutted by Wolverine to extract the baby, but there's no sign of blood or anything on the woman's clothes), Widowmaker (shinobi-zu, not zue; accented letter, and what are the Supreme Soviets doing there, and talking about Siberian work camps without anyone commenting on that?).
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTOR DISSECTED."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 189.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe pointed out that I spelled his name incorrectly as "JhonnyDoe" last week; and he also noticed I wrote "wich" instead of "which". Two badges for Johnny. Then Donald313 noticed I used "obviously" instead of "obvious", "not" instead of "note", and "reverses" instead of "reverse". Three badges more for Don, which are more than enough to make him achieve the rank of Captain in the HDSC! Glückwunschs, Kapitän!
DISSECT-O-METER: Various ratings.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S BACK IN FASHION."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Really, the boomerang was popularized in the US when Barry Allen was first active as The Flash? Barry was active in the late 60s?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, why are guards in Iron Heights Penitentiary wearing full body riot armors... with no neck protection at all?
<-------------------------------->
"OHOTMU DISSECTION UPDATE."
TITLE: Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z: Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen & Mike O'Sullivan (coordinators, according to my reader).
DISSECTION: Sidney points out three errors in this issue:
* "De tainment quadrant" in the Beetle's Armor entry.
* "as wellas"in the Marvel Apes entry.
* In Boomerang's (Fred Myers) entry, he was referred to as "Mort" once instead of Myers.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars on each of the spacing issues, 6 Bazzars on the name issue.
<-------------------------------->
"PROJECT: X-MAS."
TITLE: Project Superpowers X-Mas Carol (Dynamite).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Brandon Jerwa (writer) and/or Patrick Berkenkotter (penciller).
DISSECTION: Another dissection spotted by Sidney. The spirit of the Fighting Yank is talking about members of the Supremacy that are still at large, with symbolic pictures of them behind them. However, three of them, President West, Dynamic Man, and Dynamic Woman, quit the Supremacy and joined the heroes a while ago in the second volume of Project Superpowers. Then again, continuity has never been that good in the PS books.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD ANNUAL DISSECTION."
TITLE: X-Men V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: Annual "#1" (2007).
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
DISSECTION: Sometimes I don't understand the numbering changes... this volume of X-Men (the one that's now X-Men Legacy, but will eventually be combined with the current X-Men when they reach a significant numbering...) had three annuals (1992, 1993, and 1994), numbered one through three... then why number this one as #1? It'd make sense if it was a different volume (as the annuals from when Uncanny was merely X-Men), but it's the same volume...
Anyway, here's a DT!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREVER WAVING FLAG."
TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel)
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Rodney Buchemi (penciller).
DISSECTION: At first I thought this was a MOT, because I thought the Uruguayan flag was among the member flags seen outside UN HQ (even though the blue is too light a shade)... but then I noticed that since the first stripe is blue; it can't be Uruguay's, which has as white for its first stripe. It might be the Greek flag, although the blue stripes should be darker too. The blue on Uruguay's flag is darker than the one on the Greek one, which in turn is a shade or two darker than the Argentinian flag; although due to the Uruguayan national football team's jersey being a light blue like the Argentinian flag has, people here insist on using a light blue shade for the flag sometimes...
Oh, sorry, that whole rant had nothing to do with the dissection... in which flags, including recognizable country ones (like Ireland, Spain or Germany) are flow in a random order by artist Buchemi, when flags outside the UN HQ are flown in English alphabetical order, north to south. Even with fictitious Marvel countries possibly there, anyone can tell it's wrong.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Angel is said to be a Chicago native, when he's from Centerport (Long Island, New York), and an accented letter is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
This leaves us with a predictably low 5.5 Bazzars average in fifty-seven dissections. Now, let's end this with the (just two) Moments Of The Week. First up, Booster tells Captain Atom how's it gonna be:
And as a finale, something that made me laugh:
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"When I dedicated my life in service to you as Sorcerer Supreme... I remember I closed my eyes and I prayed that one day I would grow up to be a second-rate Jarvis for a second-rate pile of Avengers." Wong, New Avengers V2 #7.
Late, late, late... I know; but here we are with one of the last columns of the year (there will be possibly one more, maximum two), and one of the last before the last comics of the year are published. These, in particular, were released on 12/08. Last column's DT was cracked by Donald313, who pointed out that Aquaman is not half-human, but half-Atlantean, half-Atlantean wizard/demigod. Reader Darryn asked Dan DiDio on Facebook, and DiDio vaguely replied "roll with it". That's not really a confirmation of a retcon to pre-Crisis Aquaman (which is stupid, and makes him more of a Namor knock off); just a FB comment... in last week's issue of Brightest Day, Aquaman mentions Tom Curry as his father; but he doesn't specifically say he's his biological father... until it's explicitly mentioned in a comic, I won't consider it valid. And when it is, I'm still not retracting, because it wasn't done properly beforehand. Yeah, it's my column. Oh, Badge for Donald!
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week weren't spectacularly bad or good... Best Book Of The Week was Booster Gold V2 #39; good read, nice art, but filler. Worst Book Of The Week was Stargate: Daniel Jackson #4, last issue of a mini that had very weak art, and a story that could have been told in a one-shot. And then there's the Cover Of The Week, a nice piece by Marko Djurdjevic for one of the many (unnecessary) Chaos War tie-ins.The Rundown: B.P.R.D. V2 (series numbering), Booster Gold V2 (eye and hair colors), Chaos War: Ares ("banish this place"?), DC Universe Holiday Special 2010 (wonky phrasing in the Anthro story at one point, John Stewart couldn't have likely patrolled Baghdad, Batman is very well known and recognized as a hero and not a mysterious vigilante like its implied in the Superman story, Supes refers to all heroes as "metahumans", in the Spectre story a speech balloon is misplaced, and in the Legion story, Abnett and Lanning mention stargates, which are not in use in the current LSH continuity), Detective Comics (Dick Grayson's costume is all wrong, emblem, gloves, and belt; in the backup story, Renee's eyes are colored incorrectly), Invaders Now! (accented letter), Justice League: Generation Lost (Fire's hair is inexplicably red in a panel), Namor: The First Mutant (Namor's ankle wings are ginormous on the cover, his eyes are miscolored inside, and the logomancer is still Caucasian colored, with no comment from any character, when they keep reminding Namor, their king, that he's a half-breed), New Avengers V2 (inconsistent lettering on credits and coming attractions page, Victoria Hand's eyes are colored incorrectly, and Danielle Cage is too young and doesn't look like she should), Northlanders (accented letter, and "Commonweath"), R.E.B.E.L.S. (Soranik Natu, John Stewart, and Ganthet have blank eyes at points, John's badge is wrong on the cover, "alternativeto", "forece", Soranik and Kyle should have green boots, not white... and not a dissection, but if John is now a Honor Guard Lantern, who's 2814.2?), Red Robin ("unlimted"), Shadowland: After The Fall ("isn't the Black Panther some sort of African hero?" Come on!!! He was until very recently king of a prominent country, had a celebrity wedding, and has been an Avenger!), What If? Wolverine: Father (Daken's mother is gutted by Wolverine to extract the baby, but there's no sign of blood or anything on the woman's clothes), Widowmaker (shinobi-zu, not zue; accented letter, and what are the Supreme Soviets doing there, and talking about Siberian work camps without anyone commenting on that?).
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTOR DISSECTED."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 189.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe pointed out that I spelled his name incorrectly as "JhonnyDoe" last week; and he also noticed I wrote "wich" instead of "which". Two badges for Johnny. Then Donald313 noticed I used "obviously" instead of "obvious", "not" instead of "note", and "reverses" instead of "reverse". Three badges more for Don, which are more than enough to make him achieve the rank of Captain in the HDSC! Glückwunschs, Kapitän!
DISSECT-O-METER: Various ratings.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S BACK IN FASHION."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Really, the boomerang was popularized in the US when Barry Allen was first active as The Flash? Barry was active in the late 60s?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, why are guards in Iron Heights Penitentiary wearing full body riot armors... with no neck protection at all?
<-------------------------------->
"OHOTMU DISSECTION UPDATE."
TITLE: Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z: Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen & Mike O'Sullivan (coordinators, according to my reader).
DISSECTION: Sidney points out three errors in this issue:
* "De tainment quadrant" in the Beetle's Armor entry.
* "as wellas"in the Marvel Apes entry.
* In Boomerang's (Fred Myers) entry, he was referred to as "Mort" once instead of Myers.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars on each of the spacing issues, 6 Bazzars on the name issue.
<-------------------------------->
"PROJECT: X-MAS."
TITLE: Project Superpowers X-Mas Carol (Dynamite).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Brandon Jerwa (writer) and/or Patrick Berkenkotter (penciller).
DISSECTION: Another dissection spotted by Sidney. The spirit of the Fighting Yank is talking about members of the Supremacy that are still at large, with symbolic pictures of them behind them. However, three of them, President West, Dynamic Man, and Dynamic Woman, quit the Supremacy and joined the heroes a while ago in the second volume of Project Superpowers. Then again, continuity has never been that good in the PS books.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD ANNUAL DISSECTION."
TITLE: X-Men V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: Annual "#1" (2007).
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
DISSECTION: Sometimes I don't understand the numbering changes... this volume of X-Men (the one that's now X-Men Legacy, but will eventually be combined with the current X-Men when they reach a significant numbering...) had three annuals (1992, 1993, and 1994), numbered one through three... then why number this one as #1? It'd make sense if it was a different volume (as the annuals from when Uncanny was merely X-Men), but it's the same volume...
Anyway, here's a DT!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREVER WAVING FLAG."
TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel)
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Rodney Buchemi (penciller).
DISSECTION: At first I thought this was a MOT, because I thought the Uruguayan flag was among the member flags seen outside UN HQ (even though the blue is too light a shade)... but then I noticed that since the first stripe is blue; it can't be Uruguay's, which has as white for its first stripe. It might be the Greek flag, although the blue stripes should be darker too. The blue on Uruguay's flag is darker than the one on the Greek one, which in turn is a shade or two darker than the Argentinian flag; although due to the Uruguayan national football team's jersey being a light blue like the Argentinian flag has, people here insist on using a light blue shade for the flag sometimes...
Oh, sorry, that whole rant had nothing to do with the dissection... in which flags, including recognizable country ones (like Ireland, Spain or Germany) are flow in a random order by artist Buchemi, when flags outside the UN HQ are flown in English alphabetical order, north to south. Even with fictitious Marvel countries possibly there, anyone can tell it's wrong.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Angel is said to be a Chicago native, when he's from Centerport (Long Island, New York), and an accented letter is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
This leaves us with a predictably low 5.5 Bazzars average in fifty-seven dissections. Now, let's end this with the (just two) Moments Of The Week. First up, Booster tells Captain Atom how's it gonna be:
And as a finale, something that made me laugh:
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Saturday, April 03, 2010
The Dissector #156.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Are you threatening me? Listen, I've been threatened by experts, you know Cybermen, Ice Warriors, Daleks... BBC producers..." Sixth Doctor, Doctor Who Classics Series 3 #1.
Sorry for the delay, but here's column for comics released on 03/24... though that quote above is from the week before; but I got it late... and it was too good to pass up. Last week's DT! wasn't cracked... two weeks in a row? I'm disappointed, fellas... In a flashback to an Avengers book from the 80s; Namor is wearing his current costume, including the "X" emblem he wears today as an X-Man. In fact, Hercules, as I mentioned, is also wearing his current costume instead of the one he wore back then.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book was Angel Special: Lorne; a good, if temporary, goodbye for a likeable character, and for the sadly deceased actor who played him. It also didn't hurt that it's written and drawn by John Byrne; who manages to make Angel look exactly like David Boreanaz... probably without even trying. Worst Book Of The Week was Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way #2, a bunch of inconsequential, poorly made, boring stories.
The Rundown: A-Team: Shotgun Wedding ("translated from "the" Spanish"? Also, there's Spanish text inside translation brackets), The Amazing Spider-Man (The Hood's name is not public knowledge, "Michele", S.H.I.E.L.D.'s full name doesn't have a comma in the middle, Michelle's name is given incorrectly as "Gonzalez" and then correctly as "Gonzales".), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Manhunter and Two-Face get their eyes colored incorrectly), Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way (Psylocke's are wrong, she shouldn't be able to access the White Hot Room, her costume is wrong, she didn't stop manifesting the butterfly when she first manifested her psi-katana, and Cable has also manifested a psychic sword), Fall Of The Hulks: Red Hulk (Banner's eye color is wrong), Green Lantern V4 (John Stewart's badge is wrong... he's wearing Hal's), Justice League: The Rise Of Arsenal (Lian's eyes should be green, Batman's belt emblem is wrong, and so is Hal's badge), Peter Parker ("Michele" again), Power Girl V2 (character with wrong eye color), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Fool's Gold (O'Brien's uniform is wrong, so is his rank insignia, Jadzia's pips are on the wrong side of her collar, and Bashir's rank pips show him as a full Lieutenant, when he was promoted the following year), Superman/Batman (accented letter), Superman V1 ("mass" genocide? sounds a bit weird... and the accent in cover artist Julian López's last name not only makes the letter smaller, it's also a horizontal line over it), Thunderbolts (Grizzly's still missing from the roster, while Headsman is still there; also, U.S.Agent's chest star is the wrong size, shape and color), Uncanny X-Men (Nightcrawler has some kind of afro hairdo, and Mr. Fantastic says "You might can fool some of the satellites..."), X-Factor (Monet's eyes are blue when they should be brown). Dissections, now.
<-------------------------------->
"AVENGING CHANGING COLORS."
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 63.
CULPRIT: Dave McCaig (colorist).
DISSECTION: I'm reading the book, right? And I notice that Jessica Jones' eyes are the wrong color. They're green, when they should be blue. The next page, they're blue. And the next, back to green... and then brown. WTF?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, for the sheer sloppiness. Clint Barton's eyes are green first, then his correct blue color, then green again; Lady Octopus' eyes are green instead of brown, and Danielle Cage is drawn as a 4-6 months baby instead of a year old infant or so. Then I go to see who the colorist was... and the credit read "colorisst"...
<-------------------------------->
"THE ROD OF BORIS."
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo)
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer) and/or Leandro Fernandez (artist).
DISSECTION: Good God... Boris, the apparently Slavic holy man among Norsemen, is also a healer... and his surgical instrument and medicine bag has a caduceus. The caduceus is NOT the symbol of medicine, despite its mistaken use, mainly in the USA, as that. It's a symbol originally for Iris, messenger of Hera, and afterwards of Hermes/Mercury; and through them, a symbol of messengers, gamblers, merchants, shepherds, liars and thieves.
The symbol of medicine is the rod of Asclepius; or the asklepian. Asclepius was the Greek god of healing and medicine, and his symbol is a staff with a snake entwined around it. The caduceus is also a staff, but quite differently shaped than the asklepian. The latter is a rustic wooden staff, while the former is usually a smooth and elegant-looking herald's staff. Furthermore, there are two snakes entwined around the caduceus, and the staff is winged, while the rod of Asclepius is not. Read more about the asklepian, and about the caduceus and the mix ups between the two.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT THEE!"
TITLE: Thor V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 608.
CULPRIT: Rich Elson (artist).
DISSECTION: Dissect This!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Volstagg's eyes are colored green, when they should be blue.
<-------------------------------->
"ÜBERNACHTUNGKRIECHER!"
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Nightcrawler (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Adam Freeman & Marc Bernardin (writers).
DISSECTION: Again with the foreign language (German this time) inside the translation brackets. If you use translation brackets, everything inside it must be in the language you're using for story... not one word should be in the characters' language.
Boring book too; retconning Nightcrawler's life in the circus as one of hardships and discrimination, instead of the original back-story of him being accepted among freaks. The circus owner keeps him drugged between acts, the rest of the circus crew, except Margali Szardos and her children, treat him as a beast... tsk.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There is also a poster for a small German circus, which ought to be local, in English. And yes, I know that word up there in the title of the dissection is made up.
<-------------------------------->
A 5.9 Bazzars average, lower than I expected... Cover Of The Week was this beautiful piece by Mark Brooks for Uncanny X-Men #522:
Excellent homage to WWII nose art. Now, the Moments Of The Week are just two, first up, creative ways to slay vampires:
Vampshish kebab! Then, annoying Gary Stu villain Mr. X gets pwnd by Amadeus Cho:
Take that! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Are you threatening me? Listen, I've been threatened by experts, you know Cybermen, Ice Warriors, Daleks... BBC producers..." Sixth Doctor, Doctor Who Classics Series 3 #1.
Sorry for the delay, but here's column for comics released on 03/24... though that quote above is from the week before; but I got it late... and it was too good to pass up. Last week's DT! wasn't cracked... two weeks in a row? I'm disappointed, fellas... In a flashback to an Avengers book from the 80s; Namor is wearing his current costume, including the "X" emblem he wears today as an X-Man. In fact, Hercules, as I mentioned, is also wearing his current costume instead of the one he wore back then.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book was Angel Special: Lorne; a good, if temporary, goodbye for a likeable character, and for the sadly deceased actor who played him. It also didn't hurt that it's written and drawn by John Byrne; who manages to make Angel look exactly like David Boreanaz... probably without even trying. Worst Book Of The Week was Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way #2, a bunch of inconsequential, poorly made, boring stories.
The Rundown: A-Team: Shotgun Wedding ("translated from "the" Spanish"? Also, there's Spanish text inside translation brackets), The Amazing Spider-Man (The Hood's name is not public knowledge, "Michele", S.H.I.E.L.D.'s full name doesn't have a comma in the middle, Michelle's name is given incorrectly as "Gonzalez" and then correctly as "Gonzales".), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Manhunter and Two-Face get their eyes colored incorrectly), Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way (Psylocke's are wrong, she shouldn't be able to access the White Hot Room, her costume is wrong, she didn't stop manifesting the butterfly when she first manifested her psi-katana, and Cable has also manifested a psychic sword), Fall Of The Hulks: Red Hulk (Banner's eye color is wrong), Green Lantern V4 (John Stewart's badge is wrong... he's wearing Hal's), Justice League: The Rise Of Arsenal (Lian's eyes should be green, Batman's belt emblem is wrong, and so is Hal's badge), Peter Parker ("Michele" again), Power Girl V2 (character with wrong eye color), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Fool's Gold (O'Brien's uniform is wrong, so is his rank insignia, Jadzia's pips are on the wrong side of her collar, and Bashir's rank pips show him as a full Lieutenant, when he was promoted the following year), Superman/Batman (accented letter), Superman V1 ("mass" genocide? sounds a bit weird... and the accent in cover artist Julian López's last name not only makes the letter smaller, it's also a horizontal line over it), Thunderbolts (Grizzly's still missing from the roster, while Headsman is still there; also, U.S.Agent's chest star is the wrong size, shape and color), Uncanny X-Men (Nightcrawler has some kind of afro hairdo, and Mr. Fantastic says "You might can fool some of the satellites..."), X-Factor (Monet's eyes are blue when they should be brown). Dissections, now.
<-------------------------------->
"AVENGING CHANGING COLORS."
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 63.
CULPRIT: Dave McCaig (colorist).
DISSECTION: I'm reading the book, right? And I notice that Jessica Jones' eyes are the wrong color. They're green, when they should be blue. The next page, they're blue. And the next, back to green... and then brown. WTF?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, for the sheer sloppiness. Clint Barton's eyes are green first, then his correct blue color, then green again; Lady Octopus' eyes are green instead of brown, and Danielle Cage is drawn as a 4-6 months baby instead of a year old infant or so. Then I go to see who the colorist was... and the credit read "colorisst"...
<-------------------------------->
"THE ROD OF BORIS."
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo)
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer) and/or Leandro Fernandez (artist).
DISSECTION: Good God... Boris, the apparently Slavic holy man among Norsemen, is also a healer... and his surgical instrument and medicine bag has a caduceus. The caduceus is NOT the symbol of medicine, despite its mistaken use, mainly in the USA, as that. It's a symbol originally for Iris, messenger of Hera, and afterwards of Hermes/Mercury; and through them, a symbol of messengers, gamblers, merchants, shepherds, liars and thieves.
The symbol of medicine is the rod of Asclepius; or the asklepian. Asclepius was the Greek god of healing and medicine, and his symbol is a staff with a snake entwined around it. The caduceus is also a staff, but quite differently shaped than the asklepian. The latter is a rustic wooden staff, while the former is usually a smooth and elegant-looking herald's staff. Furthermore, there are two snakes entwined around the caduceus, and the staff is winged, while the rod of Asclepius is not. Read more about the asklepian, and about the caduceus and the mix ups between the two.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT THEE!"
TITLE: Thor V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 608.
CULPRIT: Rich Elson (artist).
DISSECTION: Dissect This!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Volstagg's eyes are colored green, when they should be blue.
<-------------------------------->
"ÜBERNACHTUNGKRIECHER!"
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Nightcrawler (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Adam Freeman & Marc Bernardin (writers).
DISSECTION: Again with the foreign language (German this time) inside the translation brackets. If you use translation brackets, everything inside it must be in the language you're using for story... not one word should be in the characters' language.
Boring book too; retconning Nightcrawler's life in the circus as one of hardships and discrimination, instead of the original back-story of him being accepted among freaks. The circus owner keeps him drugged between acts, the rest of the circus crew, except Margali Szardos and her children, treat him as a beast... tsk.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There is also a poster for a small German circus, which ought to be local, in English. And yes, I know that word up there in the title of the dissection is made up.
<-------------------------------->
A 5.9 Bazzars average, lower than I expected... Cover Of The Week was this beautiful piece by Mark Brooks for Uncanny X-Men #522:
Excellent homage to WWII nose art. Now, the Moments Of The Week are just two, first up, creative ways to slay vampires:
Vampshish kebab! Then, annoying Gary Stu villain Mr. X gets pwnd by Amadeus Cho:
Take that! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Dissector #155.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Look at them, Glory... 129 new taxpayers all. Officially. Every new citizen is like a tiny Monopoly man with an accent." Hizzoner J. Jonah Jameson, Mayor Of New York, during a US citizen naturalization ceremony, The Amazing Spider-Man #625.
Welcome to the column for comics released on 03/10. Sadly, the DT! from last week wasn't cracked, so I'll have to tell you. The problem with that panel was that Patriot and Black Marvel are lifting what looks to be a105mm Howitzer M2A1 artillery piece (aka M101 Howitzer), which weights 2260 kg; and if it's another type of howitzer, even more... but neither character has superstrength, or any other superpowers for that matter.
Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was The Amazing Spider-Man #625; with good art by Max Fiumara and a touching story by Joe Kelly. What happens is what we all knew would happen, but at least I hoped it wouldn't: the original Rhino's wife is killed by the newcomer, and that leads him to become the Rhino again and blame Spider-Man for all his woes... Worst Book Of The Week was the X-23 one-shot, unappealing art, and an unnecessary and convoluted story.
The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (eye colors wrong, including some that change between pages, one name incorrect), American Vampire (ñ and accented letter), Avengers Vs. Atlas (Pym's eyes are not green, and he's not a physicist), Batman (Batman's gloves and chest/belt emblems are wrong, with the chest emblem even changing between pages), Dark Avengers (Norman's eyes), Doctor Who (the Doctor's sonic screwdriver is wrong on the cover), Green Arrow V4 (Ollie's wearing the costume from Smallville on the cover), Green Lantern Corps V2 (assorted badges and rings are wrong), Hulk V3 (Banner's eyes are colored wrong; as are Cyclop's boots), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Banner's eyes), Nation X (for some reason, Wolverine has brown hair and eyes, and Magneto's boots and gauntlets look like they did in the 60s), Nova V4 (accented letter), Siege (Norman's eyes), Spider-Man & The Secret Wars (eye color wrong on Doom and Reed), Spider-Woman V4 (Spider-Man's chest emblem is missing for a page), Supergirl V6 (Matter-Eater Lad's hair is wrong, as are Projectra's gloves; and someone's got blank eyes), Superman 80-Page Giant V2 (Green Arrow's costume is wrong, and why do Clark and Lois have separate single beds?), Titans V2 (Speedy's hat is wrong), X-23 V2 (Jubilee and X-23 get their eyes colored incorrectly), X-Factor Forever (Archangel's eyes are missing, Trish Tilby's eyes should be blue, Master "Meld", and Gammenon The "Gather"), X-Men: Legacy (accented letters). And, of course, your dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"ALL OF YOUR BASES BELONG TO US."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 154.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: When I meant to say "there are advanced cybernetics technology in the DCU", I missed the word "are". Thanks to Donald313 for spotting that, and badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SEA PANTHERS."
TITLE: Doomwar (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 06.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Maberry (writer).
DISSECTION: Wakanda, a landlocked country (although it borders with Azania and Kenya through Lake Turkana, formerly Lake Rudolf), is said by the Dora Milaje to have a navy 30,000 strong... What? Numbers, numbers... navies from landlocked countries include the Azerbaijani Navy (2,200 strong), and the Bolivian Naval Force (5,000). Then there's other, more famous navies like the French Navy (with 42,866 soldiers and 7,200 civilians), or the Royal Navy of the UK (42,600 active personnel and 38,510 reserve personnel). Or if you want smaller, or poorer countries, you've got the 42,000 strong Royal Moroccan Navy Force... but Morocco has a large coastline.
Why would Wakanda, a landlocked country which is one of the most advanced (if not the most) country in the planet, and only a tiny lake to sail have a navy almost the same size as the French navy? Lake Turkana (sometimes called the Jade Sea) has little more than a tenth of the surface of Lake Michigan (6,000 square km against 58,000), a little less than half of its average depth (30 meters against 85), and about a third of its maximum depth (109 meters against 281). Yes, some landlocked countries keep part of their navies stationed in ports belonging to other countries; but that doesn't make much sense for Wakanda, a traditionally isolationist nation.
If you want to exaggerate, give them a 5,000 strong navy (like my country's) and arm them with the advanced technology all Wakandan troops have. Thirty thousand is just a random number Maberry pulled out of his head.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. I wanted to give it a higher rating, but it doesn't really affect the story or go against anything already established in continuity... just against common sense. Also, Doom and Nightcrawler have their eyes colored incorrectly. Oh, and I just noticed that colorist Jean-François Beaulieu has his name spelled incorrectly as "Jean-Francois".
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN WRONGNET."
TITLE: Green Hornet: Year One (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 01
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Oh my... a Dynamite book written by Wagner, lettered by Bowland, and one that includes a character who is not American. Of course it's riddled with mistakes, but not on a Zorro level. I'll list them, anyway:
French: Poorly constructed French dialogue, including "francais" instead of "français", accented letters.
English: "Comprehesion", "compostition", and "emporer".
Japanese (Romanized): "Saumrai".
For fuck's sake, Wagner, you're a good writer, what's this all about?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each. The art is pretty good, but this doesn't stop penciller Campbell from drawing a mysteriously floating duffel bag resting on Britt's shoulder.
<-------------------------------->
"HERCULES: DISSECTION OF AN AVENGER."
TITLE: Hercules: Fall of an Avenger (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 02.
CULPRIT: Ariel Olivetti (artist).
DISSECTION: Apart from numerous coloring errors (including giving Amadeus Cho blue eyes), there's this:
Spot it, so commands Zeus!
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. You know what, it's actually a double one, in addition to what you need to spot, Hercules' costume is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"SMELL LIKE IRON."
TITLE: L.A. Times Online (or possibly, Diesel).
ISSUE: N/A.
CULPRIT: Unknown.
DISSECTION: It seems that Diesel has launched an Iron Man 2 cologne, based on their "Only The Brave" fragrance. Do they want you to smell like engine oil and vodka?
You know what's funny? The article says the box has early Iron Man comics on it; but those panels are from the current Iron Man title, Invincible Iron Man, and Iron Patriot, Victoria Hand, the Black Widow, and Maria Hill.
Hopefully, the L.A. Times didn't actually have a picture of the box and they made a mock up of it; with the wrong comics. It'd be terrible if Diesel actually stuck Norman Osborn.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I know I don't usually report stuff that's not on actual comics, with the exception of Wizard Magazine or my own blog... but this was too much to let it slide.
<-------------------------------->
"TO STOP THEM! FAST!"
TITLE: The Torch (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (script).
DISSECTION: Ezequiel and Donald313 alerted me to some dissections in this book; a title I dropped after the first issue. Donald313 noticed some wrong German text that's incorrect; in one someone says "Aufhalten Sie! Schnell!". That´s like saying "To stop them! Fast!" It should be "Haltet sie auf!"
Ezequiel, on the other hand, noticed an accented letter that's smaller than it should be, and the Fantastic Four referred to as the "Cuatros Fantásticos", when it should be "Cuatro Fantásticos". I noticed some more dissections, since I took the time to read the issue. There's German text inside translation brackets, and there's another accented letter that's smaller than it should be... when three speech balloons before it's regular-sized. Finally, a character says "That's the Herr Doktor", which obviously has an extra "the".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each. Badges for both HDSC members.
<-------------------------------->
"DISCO DAZZLER ROGUE NIGHTCRAWLER PRETTY SAILOR PAINT ME NOW!"
TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 19.
CULPRIT: Graham Nolan (penciller) and Guillem Mari (colorist).
DISSECTION: Rogue has absorbed Nightcrawler's powers and physical features; leaving Nightcrawler looking human... and with Rogue's powers; which work on anyone but her. When Kurt touches Xavier, both of them are enveloped in a brilliant flash of yellow light, which Jean recognizes as "Rogue's power signature". Since when is Rogue's power signature a Dazzler show?!??!
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There are also several eye colors wrong.
<-------------------------------->
A 6.4 Bazzars in eighty-four dissections, quite a number of dissections this week. Cover Of The Week stays within the same family, but this time it's by Marko Djurdjevic:
Simple, yet effective, reminiscent of a boxing or wrestling match poster. Now, Moments of The Week, full of Siege... but first, some Blackest Night:
Yeah, that's a Tholian web, and Guy Gardner is a trekkie! Then, old lovers share memories about Hercules:
Northstar? Well, Hercules was an ancient Greek hero... Then, Grant Morrison's acid dreams deliver:
Dwarven pirates in submarines!!! And after these entrées, the Siege main course:
With a beef of "Asgard shattered"...
... a dressing of "you're under arrest"...
... and a side of "you had that one coming". That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Look at them, Glory... 129 new taxpayers all. Officially. Every new citizen is like a tiny Monopoly man with an accent." Hizzoner J. Jonah Jameson, Mayor Of New York, during a US citizen naturalization ceremony, The Amazing Spider-Man #625.
Welcome to the column for comics released on 03/10. Sadly, the DT! from last week wasn't cracked, so I'll have to tell you. The problem with that panel was that Patriot and Black Marvel are lifting what looks to be a
Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was The Amazing Spider-Man #625; with good art by Max Fiumara and a touching story by Joe Kelly. What happens is what we all knew would happen, but at least I hoped it wouldn't: the original Rhino's wife is killed by the newcomer, and that leads him to become the Rhino again and blame Spider-Man for all his woes... Worst Book Of The Week was the X-23 one-shot, unappealing art, and an unnecessary and convoluted story.
The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (eye colors wrong, including some that change between pages, one name incorrect), American Vampire (ñ and accented letter), Avengers Vs. Atlas (Pym's eyes are not green, and he's not a physicist), Batman (Batman's gloves and chest/belt emblems are wrong, with the chest emblem even changing between pages), Dark Avengers (Norman's eyes), Doctor Who (the Doctor's sonic screwdriver is wrong on the cover), Green Arrow V4 (Ollie's wearing the costume from Smallville on the cover), Green Lantern Corps V2 (assorted badges and rings are wrong), Hulk V3 (Banner's eyes are colored wrong; as are Cyclop's boots), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Banner's eyes), Nation X (for some reason, Wolverine has brown hair and eyes, and Magneto's boots and gauntlets look like they did in the 60s), Nova V4 (accented letter), Siege (Norman's eyes), Spider-Man & The Secret Wars (eye color wrong on Doom and Reed), Spider-Woman V4 (Spider-Man's chest emblem is missing for a page), Supergirl V6 (Matter-Eater Lad's hair is wrong, as are Projectra's gloves; and someone's got blank eyes), Superman 80-Page Giant V2 (Green Arrow's costume is wrong, and why do Clark and Lois have separate single beds?), Titans V2 (Speedy's hat is wrong), X-23 V2 (Jubilee and X-23 get their eyes colored incorrectly), X-Factor Forever (Archangel's eyes are missing, Trish Tilby's eyes should be blue, Master "Meld", and Gammenon The "Gather"), X-Men: Legacy (accented letters). And, of course, your dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"ALL OF YOUR BASES BELONG TO US."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 154.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: When I meant to say "there are advanced cybernetics technology in the DCU", I missed the word "are". Thanks to Donald313 for spotting that, and badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SEA PANTHERS."
TITLE: Doomwar (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 06.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Maberry (writer).
DISSECTION: Wakanda, a landlocked country (although it borders with Azania and Kenya through Lake Turkana, formerly Lake Rudolf), is said by the Dora Milaje to have a navy 30,000 strong... What? Numbers, numbers... navies from landlocked countries include the Azerbaijani Navy (2,200 strong), and the Bolivian Naval Force (5,000). Then there's other, more famous navies like the French Navy (with 42,866 soldiers and 7,200 civilians), or the Royal Navy of the UK (42,600 active personnel and 38,510 reserve personnel). Or if you want smaller, or poorer countries, you've got the 42,000 strong Royal Moroccan Navy Force... but Morocco has a large coastline.
Why would Wakanda, a landlocked country which is one of the most advanced (if not the most) country in the planet, and only a tiny lake to sail have a navy almost the same size as the French navy? Lake Turkana (sometimes called the Jade Sea) has little more than a tenth of the surface of Lake Michigan (6,000 square km against 58,000), a little less than half of its average depth (30 meters against 85), and about a third of its maximum depth (109 meters against 281). Yes, some landlocked countries keep part of their navies stationed in ports belonging to other countries; but that doesn't make much sense for Wakanda, a traditionally isolationist nation.
If you want to exaggerate, give them a 5,000 strong navy (like my country's) and arm them with the advanced technology all Wakandan troops have. Thirty thousand is just a random number Maberry pulled out of his head.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. I wanted to give it a higher rating, but it doesn't really affect the story or go against anything already established in continuity... just against common sense. Also, Doom and Nightcrawler have their eyes colored incorrectly. Oh, and I just noticed that colorist Jean-François Beaulieu has his name spelled incorrectly as "Jean-Francois".
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN WRONGNET."
TITLE: Green Hornet: Year One (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 01
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Oh my... a Dynamite book written by Wagner, lettered by Bowland, and one that includes a character who is not American. Of course it's riddled with mistakes, but not on a Zorro level. I'll list them, anyway:
French: Poorly constructed French dialogue, including "francais" instead of "français", accented letters.
English: "Comprehesion", "compostition", and "emporer".
Japanese (Romanized): "Saumrai".
For fuck's sake, Wagner, you're a good writer, what's this all about?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each. The art is pretty good, but this doesn't stop penciller Campbell from drawing a mysteriously floating duffel bag resting on Britt's shoulder.
<-------------------------------->
"HERCULES: DISSECTION OF AN AVENGER."
TITLE: Hercules: Fall of an Avenger (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 02.
CULPRIT: Ariel Olivetti (artist).
DISSECTION: Apart from numerous coloring errors (including giving Amadeus Cho blue eyes), there's this:
Spot it, so commands Zeus!
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. You know what, it's actually a double one, in addition to what you need to spot, Hercules' costume is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"SMELL LIKE IRON."
TITLE: L.A. Times Online (or possibly, Diesel).
ISSUE: N/A.
CULPRIT: Unknown.
DISSECTION: It seems that Diesel has launched an Iron Man 2 cologne, based on their "Only The Brave" fragrance. Do they want you to smell like engine oil and vodka?
You know what's funny? The article says the box has early Iron Man comics on it; but those panels are from the current Iron Man title, Invincible Iron Man, and Iron Patriot, Victoria Hand, the Black Widow, and Maria Hill.
Hopefully, the L.A. Times didn't actually have a picture of the box and they made a mock up of it; with the wrong comics. It'd be terrible if Diesel actually stuck Norman Osborn.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I know I don't usually report stuff that's not on actual comics, with the exception of Wizard Magazine or my own blog... but this was too much to let it slide.
<-------------------------------->
"TO STOP THEM! FAST!"
TITLE: The Torch (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (script).
DISSECTION: Ezequiel and Donald313 alerted me to some dissections in this book; a title I dropped after the first issue. Donald313 noticed some wrong German text that's incorrect; in one someone says "Aufhalten Sie! Schnell!". That´s like saying "To stop them! Fast!" It should be "Haltet sie auf!"
Ezequiel, on the other hand, noticed an accented letter that's smaller than it should be, and the Fantastic Four referred to as the "Cuatros Fantásticos", when it should be "Cuatro Fantásticos". I noticed some more dissections, since I took the time to read the issue. There's German text inside translation brackets, and there's another accented letter that's smaller than it should be... when three speech balloons before it's regular-sized. Finally, a character says "That's the Herr Doktor", which obviously has an extra "the".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each. Badges for both HDSC members.
<-------------------------------->
"DISCO DAZZLER ROGUE NIGHTCRAWLER PRETTY SAILOR PAINT ME NOW!"
TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 19.
CULPRIT: Graham Nolan (penciller) and Guillem Mari (colorist).
DISSECTION: Rogue has absorbed Nightcrawler's powers and physical features; leaving Nightcrawler looking human... and with Rogue's powers; which work on anyone but her. When Kurt touches Xavier, both of them are enveloped in a brilliant flash of yellow light, which Jean recognizes as "Rogue's power signature". Since when is Rogue's power signature a Dazzler show?!??!
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There are also several eye colors wrong.
<-------------------------------->
A 6.4 Bazzars in eighty-four dissections, quite a number of dissections this week. Cover Of The Week stays within the same family, but this time it's by Marko Djurdjevic:
Simple, yet effective, reminiscent of a boxing or wrestling match poster. Now, Moments of The Week, full of Siege... but first, some Blackest Night:
Yeah, that's a Tholian web, and Guy Gardner is a trekkie! Then, old lovers share memories about Hercules:
Northstar? Well, Hercules was an ancient Greek hero... Then, Grant Morrison's acid dreams deliver:
Dwarven pirates in submarines!!! And after these entrées, the Siege main course:
With a beef of "Asgard shattered"...
... a dressing of "you're under arrest"...
... and a side of "you had that one coming". That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Dissector #132.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Well, if the Time Lords made the rules - and I'm the LAST Time Lord - I REPEAL THE RULES! HUZZAH! ICE CREAM FOR ALL!" The Doctor, Doctor Who #3.
Willkommen zu einer neuen Ausgabe von Der Sezierer! This is the der Spalte for comics released on 09/02... and I'll stop with the crap German; but you've got to admit it adds to the "mad scientist" vibe. I was about to declare the DT! uncracked, but once again JohnnyDoe got it! In this case, Mammoth, who is a large man, but by no means larger than a normal human (if your normal human is an NFL linebacker); while in this comic he's pictured as if each of his arms is as big as a person. Badge for you, Johnny; three more and you get promoted to Lt. Commander.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was The Boys #34; good ending to an arc; and a superb gore fest; which is what we expect of this book; plus the return of Love Sausage. See the Moments Of The Week to know what zany antics "Los Botijas" (as a friend of mine and I call them) were up to this week. Worst Book Of The Week? Easy, Exiles #6. Thank God they cut our suffering short... it wasn't as bad as what Claremont was writing before this volume; but it was a book that needed to be cancelled. Oh, why was it so bad? Rushed ending for a crappy book; double crappy. Yes, those are scientific terms.
On another note, I am now a published comic book writer!!! Local comic book "Cisplatino" includes in each issue an insert called "Cisplatino Visiones", with short stories about the book's characters, and I was asked to write a story about one of the villains, Lobo (no, not the Czarnian). It was drawn by the incredible Roberto Cúneo, and it's available in Uruguay and soon in Argentina. If anyone wants to buy a copy outside these countries, I'm sure it can be arranged. See photos of the launch party for the issue, by our local Peter Parker.
Dissections now. Oh, and Warehouse 13 is the best show currently out there for scifi fans, WATCH IT. WATCH. IT.
<-------------------------------->
"IN NON-COMMUNIST RUSSIA..."
TITLE: Batman Confidential (DC).
ISSUE: 33.
CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).
DISSECTION: Are we really supposed to believe that Batman's hotel phone can be tapped by the Moscow police?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WAKANDAN SCENES FILMED IN NIGERIA."
TITLE: Black Panther V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Maberry (writer) and Will Conrado (artist).
DISSECTION: All signs in Wakandan protests; underscroll on TV screens, buildings, etc is in English. The Wakandans have their own language, and would not use English. What part of isolationist and highly nationalistic country did the authors not get?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yup. One single dissection for all the occurrences, but a big fat one. Plus, there are some other mistakes, like "repulser" instead of "repulsor", and odd dialogue like "the young a man".
<-------------------------------->
"APOKOLIPS."
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: Duane Swierczynski (writer).
DISSECTION: The ship Cable is in is called "Ensahabnur"... Apocalypse's name is "En Sabah Nur"... I'm going to say this is a dissection; no matter how far in the future they are. Same goes for the word "aquired" on a monitor; when the rest of the English words are spelled correctly... it's not an intentional deformation of the language.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Hope's eyes, which are green, are colored blue on the cover by Dave Wilkins.
<-------------------------------->
"EYEXILES."
TITLE: Exiles V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Anthony Washington (colorist).
DISSECTION: Eyes. Eye color mistakes galore! The Scarlett Witch's eyes are colored brown, when she has blue eyes; Rachel Summers has green eyes and Aurora has blue eyes; and they get brown eyes here (wait, that sounded wrong)... while Rogue's eyes should be green, but they're colored green.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"HAL TO GET THAT OUT OF MY CHEST."
TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Run (DC).
ISSUE: 05 of 06.
CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).
DISSECTION: Several occurrences of John Stewart's chest emblem being replaced with Hal's.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. He also gets all white eyes, for some reason.
<-------------------------------->
"QUESTO E ESTO MACACO?"
TITLE: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: So, it's not as bad as the previous issue, and it hasn't been as awful as Zorro, but there's still a few Spanish mistakes, mostly by Simon Bowland on the accented letters; and just three actual language mistakes and very minor. The worst is that Dixon writes "¿Que es este?"; a phrase that doesn't exist, it should be "esto".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for that one. A total of four accented letters for Bowland, two more Spanish mistakes on Dixon's part, and one random writing dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"CRY FOR PAYING ATTENTION."
TITLE: Justice League: Cry For Justice (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 07.
CULPRIT: Mauro Cascioli (artist).
DISSECTION: DC artists: GET. YOUR. GREEN. LANTERN. EMBLEMS. RIGHT.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for each occurrence of Hal Jordan's emblem looking like John Stewart's; six in total.
<-------------------------------->
"MA-TOUCH-AND-GOG."
TITLE: Magog (DC).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi Designs (colorist).
DISSECTION: Golly Gee Wilikers! It's what we've all been waiting for, a Magog ongoing!!! YAY!!! *clears throat* Well, Magog's healthy eye is blue, yet on one page it's colored brown; then blue in the next one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD LACE TOOK HER ARSENIC."
TITLE: Marvel Pets Handbook (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Michael Hoskin (head writer/coordinator) and writer not credited for individual profile.
DISSECTION: The Marvel Handbooks people... my mortal enemies... Now, I didn't actually read this, I just flipped through it, and spotted only one dissection. On Old Lace's profile, it doesn't mention her death, which happened in Runaways V3 #11; about a month and a half ago. While I understand that the production for one these books takes time; Old Lace's death had been more or less announced, and a little coordination wouldn't have hurt.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MERCY SPARX A NEW BOOK."
TITLE: Mercy Sparx (DDP).
ISSUE: 04 of 04.
CULPRIT: James Lowder (editor).
DISSECTION: Fun little book; not dying to get the next mini, but I will enjoy it when it comes out. Problem is, at the end of this issue they announce issue 2 of the second mini as coming soon; when issue 1 hasn't come out yet.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RŒD TORNADŒ"
TITLE: Red Tornado V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 6.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: Okay, this book is only slightly less exciting than the Magog book; but at least it's a mini. The Magog book can only be explained by Keith Giffen wanting to write him and DC letting him... What's the dissection here? Well, Penciller José Luís is credited with an accent in his last name on the cover (while other books have credited without it; the Brazilian spelling has an accent while the Spanish spelling doesn't, and I don't know if he's Brazilian or Hispanic). I can't really confirm a dissection there, and I'm inclined to believe he's Brazilian or even Portuguese...
However, look at what Sal Cipriano did inside of the book:
Man... that's not only wrong, it's not even POSSIBLE. You can't have a dot on the "i" AND an accent. If it wasn't for Simon Bowland's sheer volume of work...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STRANGE DISSECTION."
TITLE: Strange Tales V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 03.
CULPRIT: Paul Pope (penciller, Inhumans story).
DISSECTION: This one is perfect for a DISSECT THIS!
It's a hard one; and there's a second, lesser dissection that I won't reveal because it's related to this one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEDNESDAY HAS A LITTLE COUNTDOWN... "
TITLE: Wednesday Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 07 of 12.
CULPRIT: Sean Galloway (artist, Teen Titans story).
DISSECTION: Well... So far I had pardoned the errors in the Teen Titans costumes (robin's mask is not joined at the bridge of his nose, Wonder Girl is wearing a completely new design, and worse of all, Starfire is wearing something that looks more like the cartoon version of her costume), and now Beast Boy and Nightwing's costumes are also different to what they should be. I had let these dissections go because I assumed it was an out-of-continuity tale; like most in this book seem to be. But now they've referenced Countdown To Final Crisis events, so that gives me the clue that this IS in continuity, and therefore, the costume redesigns are just an artist doing what he wants.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each, except Starfire and Wonder Girl who get 8s. Also, Iris West's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
A total of sixty-nine dissections with an average of 7.0 Bazzars; we hadn't had a 7 since column #122, exactly ten issues ago. Let me show you the cover of the week, by Skottie Young, for Iron Man And The Armor Wars #2:
I like it, it's compelling. Now, the Moments Of The Week... First up, if there's something you can say about Buffy, is that characters do evolve and grow:
Andrew, for example, went to idiotic annoyance, to bumbling evil sidekick, to bumbling good sidekick, to a ballsy character of his own. Also:
Those are Dawn and Xander. Yup. Xander. And Buffy's little sister. And that's Buffy watching. Pervs. Now, from the best gaming comic book out there, an Easter egg that took me more than a year to catch; because I hadn't gotten that issue yet:
Thank you Jolly! And to end this column, what happened to Germany when the Nazis pushed the allies too far?
Well, the Americans, the British, and the Free French Forces attacked... then the USSR took Berlin from behind! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Well, if the Time Lords made the rules - and I'm the LAST Time Lord - I REPEAL THE RULES! HUZZAH! ICE CREAM FOR ALL!" The Doctor, Doctor Who #3.
Willkommen zu einer neuen Ausgabe von Der Sezierer! This is the der Spalte for comics released on 09/02... and I'll stop with the crap German; but you've got to admit it adds to the "mad scientist" vibe. I was about to declare the DT! uncracked, but once again JohnnyDoe got it! In this case, Mammoth, who is a large man, but by no means larger than a normal human (if your normal human is an NFL linebacker); while in this comic he's pictured as if each of his arms is as big as a person. Badge for you, Johnny; three more and you get promoted to Lt. Commander.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was The Boys #34; good ending to an arc; and a superb gore fest; which is what we expect of this book; plus the return of Love Sausage. See the Moments Of The Week to know what zany antics "Los Botijas" (as a friend of mine and I call them) were up to this week. Worst Book Of The Week? Easy, Exiles #6. Thank God they cut our suffering short... it wasn't as bad as what Claremont was writing before this volume; but it was a book that needed to be cancelled. Oh, why was it so bad? Rushed ending for a crappy book; double crappy. Yes, those are scientific terms.
On another note, I am now a published comic book writer!!! Local comic book "Cisplatino" includes in each issue an insert called "Cisplatino Visiones", with short stories about the book's characters, and I was asked to write a story about one of the villains, Lobo (no, not the Czarnian). It was drawn by the incredible Roberto Cúneo, and it's available in Uruguay and soon in Argentina. If anyone wants to buy a copy outside these countries, I'm sure it can be arranged. See photos of the launch party for the issue, by our local Peter Parker.
Dissections now. Oh, and Warehouse 13 is the best show currently out there for scifi fans, WATCH IT. WATCH. IT.
<-------------------------------->
"IN NON-COMMUNIST RUSSIA..."
TITLE: Batman Confidential (DC).
ISSUE: 33.
CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).
DISSECTION: Are we really supposed to believe that Batman's hotel phone can be tapped by the Moscow police?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WAKANDAN SCENES FILMED IN NIGERIA."
TITLE: Black Panther V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Maberry (writer) and Will Conrado (artist).
DISSECTION: All signs in Wakandan protests; underscroll on TV screens, buildings, etc is in English. The Wakandans have their own language, and would not use English. What part of isolationist and highly nationalistic country did the authors not get?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yup. One single dissection for all the occurrences, but a big fat one. Plus, there are some other mistakes, like "repulser" instead of "repulsor", and odd dialogue like "the young a man".
<-------------------------------->
"APOKOLIPS."
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: Duane Swierczynski (writer).
DISSECTION: The ship Cable is in is called "Ensahabnur"... Apocalypse's name is "En Sabah Nur"... I'm going to say this is a dissection; no matter how far in the future they are. Same goes for the word "aquired" on a monitor; when the rest of the English words are spelled correctly... it's not an intentional deformation of the language.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Hope's eyes, which are green, are colored blue on the cover by Dave Wilkins.
<-------------------------------->
"EYEXILES."
TITLE: Exiles V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Anthony Washington (colorist).
DISSECTION: Eyes. Eye color mistakes galore! The Scarlett Witch's eyes are colored brown, when she has blue eyes; Rachel Summers has green eyes and Aurora has blue eyes; and they get brown eyes here (wait, that sounded wrong)... while Rogue's eyes should be green, but they're colored green.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"HAL TO GET THAT OUT OF MY CHEST."
TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Run (DC).
ISSUE: 05 of 06.
CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).
DISSECTION: Several occurrences of John Stewart's chest emblem being replaced with Hal's.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. He also gets all white eyes, for some reason.
<-------------------------------->
"QUESTO E ESTO MACACO?"
TITLE: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: So, it's not as bad as the previous issue, and it hasn't been as awful as Zorro, but there's still a few Spanish mistakes, mostly by Simon Bowland on the accented letters; and just three actual language mistakes and very minor. The worst is that Dixon writes "¿Que es este?"; a phrase that doesn't exist, it should be "esto".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for that one. A total of four accented letters for Bowland, two more Spanish mistakes on Dixon's part, and one random writing dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"CRY FOR PAYING ATTENTION."
TITLE: Justice League: Cry For Justice (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 07.
CULPRIT: Mauro Cascioli (artist).
DISSECTION: DC artists: GET. YOUR. GREEN. LANTERN. EMBLEMS. RIGHT.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for each occurrence of Hal Jordan's emblem looking like John Stewart's; six in total.
<-------------------------------->
"MA-TOUCH-AND-GOG."
TITLE: Magog (DC).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi Designs (colorist).
DISSECTION: Golly Gee Wilikers! It's what we've all been waiting for, a Magog ongoing!!! YAY!!! *clears throat* Well, Magog's healthy eye is blue, yet on one page it's colored brown; then blue in the next one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD LACE TOOK HER ARSENIC."
TITLE: Marvel Pets Handbook (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Michael Hoskin (head writer/coordinator) and writer not credited for individual profile.
DISSECTION: The Marvel Handbooks people... my mortal enemies... Now, I didn't actually read this, I just flipped through it, and spotted only one dissection. On Old Lace's profile, it doesn't mention her death, which happened in Runaways V3 #11; about a month and a half ago. While I understand that the production for one these books takes time; Old Lace's death had been more or less announced, and a little coordination wouldn't have hurt.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MERCY SPARX A NEW BOOK."
TITLE: Mercy Sparx (DDP).
ISSUE: 04 of 04.
CULPRIT: James Lowder (editor).
DISSECTION: Fun little book; not dying to get the next mini, but I will enjoy it when it comes out. Problem is, at the end of this issue they announce issue 2 of the second mini as coming soon; when issue 1 hasn't come out yet.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RŒD TORNADŒ"
TITLE: Red Tornado V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 6.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: Okay, this book is only slightly less exciting than the Magog book; but at least it's a mini. The Magog book can only be explained by Keith Giffen wanting to write him and DC letting him... What's the dissection here? Well, Penciller José Luís is credited with an accent in his last name on the cover (while other books have credited without it; the Brazilian spelling has an accent while the Spanish spelling doesn't, and I don't know if he's Brazilian or Hispanic). I can't really confirm a dissection there, and I'm inclined to believe he's Brazilian or even Portuguese...
However, look at what Sal Cipriano did inside of the book:
Man... that's not only wrong, it's not even POSSIBLE. You can't have a dot on the "i" AND an accent. If it wasn't for Simon Bowland's sheer volume of work...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STRANGE DISSECTION."
TITLE: Strange Tales V5 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 03.
CULPRIT: Paul Pope (penciller, Inhumans story).
DISSECTION: This one is perfect for a DISSECT THIS!
It's a hard one; and there's a second, lesser dissection that I won't reveal because it's related to this one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEDNESDAY HAS A LITTLE COUNTDOWN... "
TITLE: Wednesday Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 07 of 12.
CULPRIT: Sean Galloway (artist, Teen Titans story).
DISSECTION: Well... So far I had pardoned the errors in the Teen Titans costumes (robin's mask is not joined at the bridge of his nose, Wonder Girl is wearing a completely new design, and worse of all, Starfire is wearing something that looks more like the cartoon version of her costume), and now Beast Boy and Nightwing's costumes are also different to what they should be. I had let these dissections go because I assumed it was an out-of-continuity tale; like most in this book seem to be. But now they've referenced Countdown To Final Crisis events, so that gives me the clue that this IS in continuity, and therefore, the costume redesigns are just an artist doing what he wants.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each, except Starfire and Wonder Girl who get 8s. Also, Iris West's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
A total of sixty-nine dissections with an average of 7.0 Bazzars; we hadn't had a 7 since column #122, exactly ten issues ago. Let me show you the cover of the week, by Skottie Young, for Iron Man And The Armor Wars #2:
I like it, it's compelling. Now, the Moments Of The Week... First up, if there's something you can say about Buffy, is that characters do evolve and grow:
Andrew, for example, went to idiotic annoyance, to bumbling evil sidekick, to bumbling good sidekick, to a ballsy character of his own. Also:
Those are Dawn and Xander. Yup. Xander. And Buffy's little sister. And that's Buffy watching. Pervs. Now, from the best gaming comic book out there, an Easter egg that took me more than a year to catch; because I hadn't gotten that issue yet:
Thank you Jolly! And to end this column, what happened to Germany when the Nazis pushed the allies too far?
Well, the Americans, the British, and the Free French Forces attacked... then the USSR took Berlin from behind! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
The Dissector #126.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Inside that room is a temporal paradox. Open it and... well.. you know Schrödinger's cat? No? Well that, is Schrödinger's Tyrannosaurus Rex." The Doctor, Doctor Who: Room With A Déjà View.
Ah, the good Doctor, he always treats us to with excellent quotes. Welcome to the column for comics released on 07/22, and thanks for reading. Oh, in case I didn't mention it before (and I haven't), take a look at new TV show Warehouse 13. It's kind of like Torchwood America, or X-Files lite... but with a decidedly more steampunk and weird artifacts twist. I never enjoyed the X-Files, but I already love this show.
So, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week were pretty easy, and they're both Final Crisis related. First, Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance #3. It's not as bad as Escape, but it sure is boring as hell. Best Book Of The Week? Well, of course it's Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds #5. One heck of a last issue for the mini; and it was worth the wait. It has everything a Legion fan would want, and it gives a clever resolution to Superboy Prime's rampage... for now. It was just nerdgasmic... take a look at the Moments Of The Week, for some samples.
Before we go to the dissections, let me tell you what the DT! from last week was, since no one got it: Hammerhead's shirt has no buttons, it's like he's wearing a polo shirt with a tie... and I doubt he would do that.
<-------------------------------->
"VENOM: MORE THAN A NAME."
TITLE: All-New Savage She-Hulk (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04 of 04.
CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer, Scorpion story).
DISSECTION: Scorpion's (Carmella Black) power is to absorb toxins... but she absorbs the Venom symbiote's powers, even for a brief time? Bullshit.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MIX AND MATCH."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 600.
CULPRIT: John Romita, Jr. (penciller).
DISSECTION: Captain America's costume is severely misrepresented, both by artist Romita and by colorist Dean White (ironic, innit?). Look:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the pencilling mistakes. Plus, there's hair and eye coloring mistakes galore, and a small accented letter. Still, a good issue, worthy of a 600th one. See the Moments of The Week if you don't believe me.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION: THE INITIATIVE."
TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Rafa Sandoval (penciller).
DISSECTION: See if you can crack this one:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACKEST EMBLEM."
TITLE: Blackest Night: Tales Of The Corps (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Ed Benes (cover penciller).
DISSECTION: *sigh* Can we please get Hal Jordan's emblem right?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FANTASTIC CONTACT LENSES."
TITLE: Dark Reign: Fantastic Four (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: John Rauch (colorist).
DISSECTION: Mr. Fantastic's eyes should be brown, but they've been colored brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Norman Osborn's eyes are colored first green, then blue (his correct eye color).
<-------------------------------->
"EXO-NERATED."
TITLE: Dark Reign: Mr. Negative (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer).
DISSECTION: Both my friend Carlos, and regular reader JohnnyDoe noticed that on the DT! for last column there was another error... Norman Osborn says Hammerhead has an exoskeleton, when it's all inside of his body. Badge for both.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION OF THREE WORLDS."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: Various.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: In past columns, I've referred to "Legion Of 3 Worlds" incorrectly as (Legion Of Three Worlds", eight times, to be exact.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"TANZ!"
TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance (DC).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).
DISSECTION: There's two instances of incorrect German; thanks to Dominik for helping with that.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also five instances in which a diacritic makes a letter smaller.
<-------------------------------->
"BRAINIAC FIVE EYE COLORS."
TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds (DC).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Once more, Hi-Fi colors all Brainiac Five's eyes purple, instead of green. In fact, while other fourteen times he colors them purple, he colors the eyes of one of them green in one page, and the third one's eyes he colors blue. He also colors Duplicate Damsel's eyes blue, when she has brown eyes, and to booth, he colors Superboy's eyes brown, even after correctly coloring them blue before.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. On another note, Shikari's name is misspelled "Shakari", and Michael, at The Legion Omnicom noticed that Karate Kid II's name, "Myg" is incorrectly spelled as "Mygg".
<-------------------------------->
"AIRPORT!"
TITLE: G.I. Joe (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: Snake Eyes sneaks into a plane at "Cheplap Kok Airport"... which does not exist. Dixon meant to use HKG, Hong Kong International Airport, which is colloquially called "Chep Lap Kok", for the island it was built on (thanks to land reclamation). Not only is it wrong to call it by a colloquial name when you're setting the location in the military report style that Joe comics use, he didn't even use the right coloquial name.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CATSEYE."
TITLE: Gotham City Sirens (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Guillem March (cover artist).
DISSECTION: Catwoman's eyes are colored blue, when she has green eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BADGE PROBLEMS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Doug Mahnke (penciller).
DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's chest emblem shifts between his right one and a modified one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Mahnke also gives John Stewart an emblem that looks more like Hal's.
<-------------------------------->
"BOWLAND'S ORGASM."
TITLE: Herogasm (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: Of course, an accented letter is smaller than the rest of the letters in the word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ACCENT ON SIMON BOWLAND."
TITLE: The Incredible Hercules (Marvel).
ISSUE: 131.
CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: Good God, Simon Bowland! Can you please understand that accented vowels and Ñs are not smaller than other letters? Now you've even mangled colorist Raúl Treviño's name... even if he does color Hercules' hair sandy blonde, instead of dark brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTOR... NOT OF ANATOMY."
TITLE: The Incredible Hulk V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 600.
CULPRIT: Ed McGuiness (penciller).
DISSECTION: A few minor mistakes, for example, look at Doc Samson's arm... does he have extra muscles?! Like the liefieldceps?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TRAUMA-TURGICAL."
TITLE: Phonogram: The Singles Club (Image).
ISSUE: 04 of 07.
CULPRIT: Kieron Gillen (writer).
DISSECTION: Gillen uses the word "thaumatological", which does not exist. He probably meant "thamaturgical".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOMETHING'S MISSING..."
TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Amanda Conner (artist).
DISSECTION: Manhattan, lifted from the ground into space by the Ultra Humanite, is returned to Earth... but no subway tunnels, sewers or the like can be seen in the ground under it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, variant cover artist Guillem March strikes again, changing Terra's hair and eye color.
<-------------------------------->
"BACK ISSUE OF KHAN."
TITLE: Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Scott Dunbier (editor).
DISSECTION: Nice first issue, a good idea to explore Spock's work as main promoter of the reunification of Vulcans and Romulans. Still, the Wrath Of Khan adaptation ad is still claiming "JUNE 2009" and all that.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. If you want to sell back-issues, edit the ad, come on!
<-------------------------------->
"TINY LETTERS."
TITLE: Tiny Titans (DC).
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: Unknown letterer.
DISSECTION: An "é" is smaller than it should be.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISORDERED NATIONS."
TITLE: X-Force V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 17.
CULPRIT: Mike Choi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Even with all the fictitious countries that exist in the Marvel Earth, I don't see why the United Nations' flags in the front of the building would be in a different order than they are in reality.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, Elixir's eyes are colored brown when he has blue eyes.
<-------------------------------->
We had a whopping seventy dissections, and an average of 6.6 Bazzars! We have a large Moments Of The Week section, so let's get through them. The first few are from Legion Of 3 Worlds, first up, the obligatory "Legion Assemble!" splash page:
Then, the founders meet themselves. And Lightning Lad is a conceited douche:
Heh. Next up, Superboy Prime goes back home:
Who said you could never go back home? Then, the Green Lantern Corps comes back to life in the 31st Century:
Nice! Then, Superboy Prime goes back to being the troll he's always been:
See how awesome LO3W was? Now, one of those moments that make me love Atomic Robo:
Priceless! Now, what's most likely the scariest moment of the week:
Franklin has his powers back? *shivers* Let's get our mind off that, and relax with a joke:
Funny... sort of. Now, from Phonogram: The Singles Club (a quaint little book):
It has his cute little moments. Now, from Amazing Spider-Man, the sweetest moment of the week:
And then, a nice return:
Hey, tiger! And for our grand finale, what's cooler than an airship?
An airship piloted by a dog wearing goggles! With a gun! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Inside that room is a temporal paradox. Open it and... well.. you know Schrödinger's cat? No? Well that, is Schrödinger's Tyrannosaurus Rex." The Doctor, Doctor Who: Room With A Déjà View.
Ah, the good Doctor, he always treats us to with excellent quotes. Welcome to the column for comics released on 07/22, and thanks for reading. Oh, in case I didn't mention it before (and I haven't), take a look at new TV show Warehouse 13. It's kind of like Torchwood America, or X-Files lite... but with a decidedly more steampunk and weird artifacts twist. I never enjoyed the X-Files, but I already love this show.
So, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week were pretty easy, and they're both Final Crisis related. First, Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance #3. It's not as bad as Escape, but it sure is boring as hell. Best Book Of The Week? Well, of course it's Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds #5. One heck of a last issue for the mini; and it was worth the wait. It has everything a Legion fan would want, and it gives a clever resolution to Superboy Prime's rampage... for now. It was just nerdgasmic... take a look at the Moments Of The Week, for some samples.
Before we go to the dissections, let me tell you what the DT! from last week was, since no one got it: Hammerhead's shirt has no buttons, it's like he's wearing a polo shirt with a tie... and I doubt he would do that.
<-------------------------------->
"VENOM: MORE THAN A NAME."
TITLE: All-New Savage She-Hulk (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04 of 04.
CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer, Scorpion story).
DISSECTION: Scorpion's (Carmella Black) power is to absorb toxins... but she absorbs the Venom symbiote's powers, even for a brief time? Bullshit.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MIX AND MATCH."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 600.
CULPRIT: John Romita, Jr. (penciller).
DISSECTION: Captain America's costume is severely misrepresented, both by artist Romita and by colorist Dean White (ironic, innit?). Look:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the pencilling mistakes. Plus, there's hair and eye coloring mistakes galore, and a small accented letter. Still, a good issue, worthy of a 600th one. See the Moments of The Week if you don't believe me.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION: THE INITIATIVE."
TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Rafa Sandoval (penciller).
DISSECTION: See if you can crack this one:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACKEST EMBLEM."
TITLE: Blackest Night: Tales Of The Corps (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Ed Benes (cover penciller).
DISSECTION: *sigh* Can we please get Hal Jordan's emblem right?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FANTASTIC CONTACT LENSES."
TITLE: Dark Reign: Fantastic Four (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: John Rauch (colorist).
DISSECTION: Mr. Fantastic's eyes should be brown, but they've been colored brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Norman Osborn's eyes are colored first green, then blue (his correct eye color).
<-------------------------------->
"EXO-NERATED."
TITLE: Dark Reign: Mr. Negative (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer).
DISSECTION: Both my friend Carlos, and regular reader JohnnyDoe noticed that on the DT! for last column there was another error... Norman Osborn says Hammerhead has an exoskeleton, when it's all inside of his body. Badge for both.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION OF THREE WORLDS."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: Various.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: In past columns, I've referred to "Legion Of 3 Worlds" incorrectly as (Legion Of Three Worlds", eight times, to be exact.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"TANZ!"
TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance (DC).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).
DISSECTION: There's two instances of incorrect German; thanks to Dominik for helping with that.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also five instances in which a diacritic makes a letter smaller.
<-------------------------------->
"BRAINIAC FIVE EYE COLORS."
TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds (DC).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Once more, Hi-Fi colors all Brainiac Five's eyes purple, instead of green. In fact, while other fourteen times he colors them purple, he colors the eyes of one of them green in one page, and the third one's eyes he colors blue. He also colors Duplicate Damsel's eyes blue, when she has brown eyes, and to booth, he colors Superboy's eyes brown, even after correctly coloring them blue before.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. On another note, Shikari's name is misspelled "Shakari", and Michael, at The Legion Omnicom noticed that Karate Kid II's name, "Myg" is incorrectly spelled as "Mygg".
<-------------------------------->
"AIRPORT!"
TITLE: G.I. Joe (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).
DISSECTION: Snake Eyes sneaks into a plane at "Cheplap Kok Airport"... which does not exist. Dixon meant to use HKG, Hong Kong International Airport, which is colloquially called "Chep Lap Kok", for the island it was built on (thanks to land reclamation). Not only is it wrong to call it by a colloquial name when you're setting the location in the military report style that Joe comics use, he didn't even use the right coloquial name.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CATSEYE."
TITLE: Gotham City Sirens (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Guillem March (cover artist).
DISSECTION: Catwoman's eyes are colored blue, when she has green eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BADGE PROBLEMS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Doug Mahnke (penciller).
DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's chest emblem shifts between his right one and a modified one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Mahnke also gives John Stewart an emblem that looks more like Hal's.
<-------------------------------->
"BOWLAND'S ORGASM."
TITLE: Herogasm (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 03 of 06.
CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: Of course, an accented letter is smaller than the rest of the letters in the word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ACCENT ON SIMON BOWLAND."
TITLE: The Incredible Hercules (Marvel).
ISSUE: 131.
CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).
DISSECTION: Good God, Simon Bowland! Can you please understand that accented vowels and Ñs are not smaller than other letters? Now you've even mangled colorist Raúl Treviño's name... even if he does color Hercules' hair sandy blonde, instead of dark brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTOR... NOT OF ANATOMY."
TITLE: The Incredible Hulk V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 600.
CULPRIT: Ed McGuiness (penciller).
DISSECTION: A few minor mistakes, for example, look at Doc Samson's arm... does he have extra muscles?! Like the liefieldceps?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TRAUMA-TURGICAL."
TITLE: Phonogram: The Singles Club (Image).
ISSUE: 04 of 07.
CULPRIT: Kieron Gillen (writer).
DISSECTION: Gillen uses the word "thaumatological", which does not exist. He probably meant "thamaturgical".
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOMETHING'S MISSING..."
TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Amanda Conner (artist).
DISSECTION: Manhattan, lifted from the ground into space by the Ultra Humanite, is returned to Earth... but no subway tunnels, sewers or the like can be seen in the ground under it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, variant cover artist Guillem March strikes again, changing Terra's hair and eye color.
<-------------------------------->
"BACK ISSUE OF KHAN."
TITLE: Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Scott Dunbier (editor).
DISSECTION: Nice first issue, a good idea to explore Spock's work as main promoter of the reunification of Vulcans and Romulans. Still, the Wrath Of Khan adaptation ad is still claiming "JUNE 2009" and all that.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. If you want to sell back-issues, edit the ad, come on!
<-------------------------------->
"TINY LETTERS."
TITLE: Tiny Titans (DC).
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: Unknown letterer.
DISSECTION: An "é" is smaller than it should be.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISORDERED NATIONS."
TITLE: X-Force V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 17.
CULPRIT: Mike Choi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Even with all the fictitious countries that exist in the Marvel Earth, I don't see why the United Nations' flags in the front of the building would be in a different order than they are in reality.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, Elixir's eyes are colored brown when he has blue eyes.
<-------------------------------->
We had a whopping seventy dissections, and an average of 6.6 Bazzars! We have a large Moments Of The Week section, so let's get through them. The first few are from Legion Of 3 Worlds, first up, the obligatory "Legion Assemble!" splash page:
Then, the founders meet themselves. And Lightning Lad is a conceited douche:
Heh. Next up, Superboy Prime goes back home:
Who said you could never go back home? Then, the Green Lantern Corps comes back to life in the 31st Century:
Nice! Then, Superboy Prime goes back to being the troll he's always been:
See how awesome LO3W was? Now, one of those moments that make me love Atomic Robo:
Priceless! Now, what's most likely the scariest moment of the week:
Franklin has his powers back? *shivers* Let's get our mind off that, and relax with a joke:
Funny... sort of. Now, from Phonogram: The Singles Club (a quaint little book):
It has his cute little moments. Now, from Amazing Spider-Man, the sweetest moment of the week:
And then, a nice return:
Hey, tiger! And for our grand finale, what's cooler than an airship?
An airship piloted by a dog wearing goggles! With a gun! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Dissector #120.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"(...) Would it kill them to wear the same uniforms?" Cyclops, about the All-New, All-Different X-Men, Uncanny X-Men: First Class Giant-Size Special #1.
Alright, here we are with the column for comics released on 06/10. The Dissector's Picks For The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week is X-Factor V3 #44. Peter David delivers a solid book month after month. Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape #2... horrible art, and a wannabe "The Prisoner" plot. Off you go!
<-------------------------------->
"CAN YOU READ THOSE FROM HERE?"
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 878.
CULPRIT: Diego Olmos (artist).
DISSECTION: General Lane and his staff member have GINORMOUS name tags on their uniforms; readable at several meters.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUMMER UNIFORM, AGAIN?"
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 597.
CULPRIT: Marco Chechetto (artist).
DISSECTION: Wolverine (Daken) is again wearing his uniform with short sleeves, then with long sleeves, etc.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. As usual, Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"CONTROL GROUND TO TOM MAJOR."
TITLE: Anna Mercury 2 (Avatar).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).
DISSECTION: Again, Ellis has Mercury get in touch with her control by saying "Mercury, Launchpad."; when it should be the other way around. Communication protocols require the initiating party to announce who she's addressing first, then identify herself.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE NEW BATMAN DISSECTION."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 687.
CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller) and/or Ian Hannin & JD Smith (colorists).
DISSECTION: See if you can spot this one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ME JAMIE, YOU JANE."
TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).
DISSECTION: Jamie Reyes says that "you have to pay henchman", instead of "henchmen".
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SONT DES MOTS QUI VONT TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE, TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 119.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Last column I wrote "Also, can we remember that John Stewart's chest emblem is MOT the same as Hal's?"; instead of "NOT." Thanks to Emerre for noticing this; he gets a badge.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, I just noticed I wrote "quarts" instead of "quartz" in another column.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTRO WHO."
TITLE: Doctor Who: Autopia (IDW).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: John Ostrander (writer).
DISSECTION: Donna uses the word "eaisly" instead of "easily".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEY, YOUR ARIAN-NES IS FAILING!"
TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 06.
CULPRIT: The Hories (colorist).
DISSECTION: Captain Nazi's hair turns, inexplicably, black for a panel, then goes back to his regular blond.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS BOOK IS CLICHÉ."
TITLE: GeNeXt United (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Ed Dukeshire (letterer).
DISSECTION: Cliché, with a smaller "é". I'm tired of this particular error; I mean, even not speaking any language other than English, can't you see how wrong this looks?!?!? I mean, you're a letterer, your entire job revolves about lettering... or are you just someone slapping words on pictures?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MISS AMERICA-CCENT."
TITLE: Miss America 70th Anniversary Special (Marvel)
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Dave Lanphear (letterer).
DISSECTION: Two more accented letters smaller than the rest of the word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO NEEDS PUNCTUATION?"
TITLE: Sherlock Holmes (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Leah Moore & John Reppion (writers).
DISSECTION: The sentence "Sherlock Holmes stands accused of murder gentlemen." could use a comma before the word "gentlemen".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"I GOT DRESSED IN A HURRY?"
TITLE: The Flash: Rebirth (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Ethan Van Sciver (artist).
DISSECTION: Kid Flash's costume, particularly his boots, is incorrect. Thanks to Kal for letting me know, he gets a badge for this even if I would have noticed it on my own.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"¡OH NO, UN MONSTRUO!"
TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Eric Wallace (writer).
DISSECTION: There's a couple of other errors (Beast Boy's eyes colored blue, an accented letter smaller than the rest of the word); but there's one writing gaffe I can't help but mention: Cyborg walks around his own neighborhood; and someone (in the "appropriately" clichéd Spanish) calls him a demon and is scared of him. Did Wallace miss the fact that Cyborg is a member of the second or third better known hero team in the DC Universe? A team that has PUBLICLY saved the world a few times, and helped save it several dozen times?
Yes, we get it, Cyborg is weird; he's shunned because of his appearance... but not to that extent. Maybe someone doesn't look him in the eye when talking to him, or something like that... but fear, like this? No.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLASTED GOGGLES!"
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 511.
CULPRIT: Greg Land & Terry Dodson (pencillers).
DISSECTION: Again, Cyclops sleeping with any kind of eyewear?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. What's worse, colorist Justin Ponsor decides to color Cyclops' eyes red, when he's not wearing his glasses... his eyes are open and he's not blasting? What?
<-------------------------------->
"IN POST-COMMUNIST RUSSIA..."
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men: First Class Giant Size (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jeff Parker (writer).
DISSECTION: So, a mid or late nineties Colossus is plowing the Xavier estate to grow crops because "How are we to eat if we do not farm?" Again, what?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, there's crap German, and one pencilling dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"PICARD FOREVER."
TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).
DISSECTION: Well, this was pretty good; except for "Remy Picard"... pretty good as long as you keep it within the context of the early nineties, I guess. There were only a few dissections, none too major. One of them was that the X-Men go to "Avilla" in Spain; when the place is actually named "Ávila".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, we had twenty-eight dissections, with an average of 6.1 Bazzars. The usual, I guess. Now, two Moments Of The Week, the first one because of its lameness:
SOPHIE von Doom? SOPHIE?!?!?! SOPHIE?!?!?!?!? Okay... Claremont... okay... Next up, something cool:
Having fun as a secret agent in parallel universes! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"(...) Would it kill them to wear the same uniforms?" Cyclops, about the All-New, All-Different X-Men, Uncanny X-Men: First Class Giant-Size Special #1.
Alright, here we are with the column for comics released on 06/10. The Dissector's Picks For The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week is X-Factor V3 #44. Peter David delivers a solid book month after month. Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape #2... horrible art, and a wannabe "The Prisoner" plot. Off you go!
<-------------------------------->
"CAN YOU READ THOSE FROM HERE?"
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 878.
CULPRIT: Diego Olmos (artist).
DISSECTION: General Lane and his staff member have GINORMOUS name tags on their uniforms; readable at several meters.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUMMER UNIFORM, AGAIN?"
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 597.
CULPRIT: Marco Chechetto (artist).
DISSECTION: Wolverine (Daken) is again wearing his uniform with short sleeves, then with long sleeves, etc.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. As usual, Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"CONTROL GROUND TO TOM MAJOR."
TITLE: Anna Mercury 2 (Avatar).
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).
DISSECTION: Again, Ellis has Mercury get in touch with her control by saying "Mercury, Launchpad."; when it should be the other way around. Communication protocols require the initiating party to announce who she's addressing first, then identify herself.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE NEW BATMAN DISSECTION."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 687.
CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller) and/or Ian Hannin & JD Smith (colorists).
DISSECTION: See if you can spot this one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ME JAMIE, YOU JANE."
TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).
DISSECTION: Jamie Reyes says that "you have to pay henchman", instead of "henchmen".
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SONT DES MOTS QUI VONT TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE, TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 119.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Last column I wrote "Also, can we remember that John Stewart's chest emblem is MOT the same as Hal's?"; instead of "NOT." Thanks to Emerre for noticing this; he gets a badge.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, I just noticed I wrote "quarts" instead of "quartz" in another column.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTRO WHO."
TITLE: Doctor Who: Autopia (IDW).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: John Ostrander (writer).
DISSECTION: Donna uses the word "eaisly" instead of "easily".
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEY, YOUR ARIAN-NES IS FAILING!"
TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape (DC).
ISSUE: 01 of 06.
CULPRIT: The Hories (colorist).
DISSECTION: Captain Nazi's hair turns, inexplicably, black for a panel, then goes back to his regular blond.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS BOOK IS CLICHÉ."
TITLE: GeNeXt United (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Ed Dukeshire (letterer).
DISSECTION: Cliché, with a smaller "é". I'm tired of this particular error; I mean, even not speaking any language other than English, can't you see how wrong this looks?!?!? I mean, you're a letterer, your entire job revolves about lettering... or are you just someone slapping words on pictures?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MISS AMERICA-CCENT."
TITLE: Miss America 70th Anniversary Special (Marvel)
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Dave Lanphear (letterer).
DISSECTION: Two more accented letters smaller than the rest of the word.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO NEEDS PUNCTUATION?"
TITLE: Sherlock Holmes (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Leah Moore & John Reppion (writers).
DISSECTION: The sentence "Sherlock Holmes stands accused of murder gentlemen." could use a comma before the word "gentlemen".
DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"I GOT DRESSED IN A HURRY?"
TITLE: The Flash: Rebirth (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Ethan Van Sciver (artist).
DISSECTION: Kid Flash's costume, particularly his boots, is incorrect. Thanks to Kal for letting me know, he gets a badge for this even if I would have noticed it on my own.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"¡OH NO, UN MONSTRUO!"
TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 14.
CULPRIT: Eric Wallace (writer).
DISSECTION: There's a couple of other errors (Beast Boy's eyes colored blue, an accented letter smaller than the rest of the word); but there's one writing gaffe I can't help but mention: Cyborg walks around his own neighborhood; and someone (in the "appropriately" clichéd Spanish) calls him a demon and is scared of him. Did Wallace miss the fact that Cyborg is a member of the second or third better known hero team in the DC Universe? A team that has PUBLICLY saved the world a few times, and helped save it several dozen times?
Yes, we get it, Cyborg is weird; he's shunned because of his appearance... but not to that extent. Maybe someone doesn't look him in the eye when talking to him, or something like that... but fear, like this? No.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLASTED GOGGLES!"
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 511.
CULPRIT: Greg Land & Terry Dodson (pencillers).
DISSECTION: Again, Cyclops sleeping with any kind of eyewear?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. What's worse, colorist Justin Ponsor decides to color Cyclops' eyes red, when he's not wearing his glasses... his eyes are open and he's not blasting? What?
<-------------------------------->
"IN POST-COMMUNIST RUSSIA..."
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men: First Class Giant Size (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jeff Parker (writer).
DISSECTION: So, a mid or late nineties Colossus is plowing the Xavier estate to grow crops because "How are we to eat if we do not farm?" Again, what?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, there's crap German, and one pencilling dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"PICARD FOREVER."
TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).
DISSECTION: Well, this was pretty good; except for "Remy Picard"... pretty good as long as you keep it within the context of the early nineties, I guess. There were only a few dissections, none too major. One of them was that the X-Men go to "Avilla" in Spain; when the place is actually named "Ávila".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, we had twenty-eight dissections, with an average of 6.1 Bazzars. The usual, I guess. Now, two Moments Of The Week, the first one because of its lameness:
SOPHIE von Doom? SOPHIE?!?!?! SOPHIE?!?!?!?!? Okay... Claremont... okay... Next up, something cool:
Having fun as a secret agent in parallel universes! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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