The Dissector

The Dissector #126.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Inside that room is a temporal paradox. Open it and... well.. you know Schrödinger's cat? No? Well that, is Schrödinger's Tyrannosaurus Rex." The Doctor, Doctor Who: Room With A Déjà View.

Ah, the good Doctor, he always treats us to with excellent quotes. Welcome to the column for comics released on 07/22, and thanks for reading. Oh, in case I didn't mention it before (and I haven't), take a look at new TV show Warehouse 13. It's kind of like Torchwood America, or X-Files lite... but with a decidedly more steampunk and weird artifacts twist. I never enjoyed the X-Files, but I already love this show.

So, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week were pretty easy, and they're both Final Crisis related. First, Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance #3. It's not as bad as Escape, but it sure is boring as hell. Best Book Of The Week? Well, of course it's Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds #5. One heck of a last issue for the mini; and it was worth the wait. It has everything a Legion fan would want, and it gives a clever resolution to Superboy Prime's rampage... for now. It was just nerdgasmic... take a look at the Moments Of The Week, for some samples.

Before we go to the dissections, let me tell you what the DT! from last week was, since no one got it: Hammerhead's shirt has no buttons, it's like he's wearing a polo shirt with a tie... and I doubt he would do that.
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"VENOM: MORE THAN A NAME."

TITLE: All-New Savage She-Hulk (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer, Scorpion story).

DISSECTION: Scorpion's (Carmella Black) power is to absorb toxins... but she absorbs the Venom symbiote's powers, even for a brief time? Bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"MIX AND MATCH."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 600.

CULPRIT: John Romita, Jr. (penciller).

DISSECTION: Captain America's costume is severely misrepresented, both by artist Romita and by colorist Dean White (ironic, innit?). Look:


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the pencilling mistakes. Plus, there's hair and eye coloring mistakes galore, and a small accented letter. Still, a good issue, worthy of a 600th one. See the Moments of The Week if you don't believe me.
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"DISSECTION: THE INITIATIVE."

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Rafa Sandoval (penciller).

DISSECTION: See if you can crack this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"BLACKEST EMBLEM."

TITLE: Blackest Night: Tales Of The Corps (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (cover penciller).

DISSECTION: *sigh* Can we please get Hal Jordan's emblem right?


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"FANTASTIC CONTACT LENSES."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Fantastic Four (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: John Rauch (colorist).

DISSECTION: Mr. Fantastic's eyes should be brown, but they've been colored brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Norman Osborn's eyes are colored first green, then blue (his correct eye color).
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"EXO-NERATED."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Mr. Negative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer).

DISSECTION: Both my friend Carlos, and regular reader JohnnyDoe noticed that on the DT! for last column there was another error... Norman Osborn says Hammerhead has an exoskeleton, when it's all inside of his body. Badge for both.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"DISSECTION OF THREE WORLDS."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: Various.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: In past columns, I've referred to "Legion Of 3 Worlds" incorrectly as (Legion Of Three Worlds", eight times, to be exact.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars each.
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"TANZ!"

TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Joe Casey (writer).

DISSECTION: There's two instances of incorrect German; thanks to Dominik for helping with that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There's also five instances in which a diacritic makes a letter smaller.
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"BRAINIAC FIVE EYE COLORS."

TITLE: Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 05.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Once more, Hi-Fi colors all Brainiac Five's eyes purple, instead of green. In fact, while other fourteen times he colors them purple, he colors the eyes of one of them green in one page, and the third one's eyes he colors blue. He also colors Duplicate Damsel's eyes blue, when she has brown eyes, and to booth, he colors Superboy's eyes brown, even after correctly coloring them blue before.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. On another note, Shikari's name is misspelled "Shakari", and Michael, at The Legion Omnicom noticed that Karate Kid II's name, "Myg" is incorrectly spelled as "Mygg".
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"AIRPORT!"

TITLE: G.I. Joe (IDW).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: Snake Eyes sneaks into a plane at "Cheplap Kok Airport"... which does not exist. Dixon meant to use HKG, Hong Kong International Airport, which is colloquially called "Chep Lap Kok", for the island it was built on (thanks to land reclamation). Not only is it wrong to call it by a colloquial name when you're setting the location in the military report style that Joe comics use, he didn't even use the right coloquial name.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"CATSEYE."

TITLE: Gotham City Sirens (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Guillem March (cover artist).

DISSECTION: Catwoman's eyes are colored blue, when she has green eyes.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"BADGE PROBLEMS."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Doug Mahnke (penciller).

DISSECTION: Hal Jordan's chest emblem shifts between his right one and a modified one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Mahnke also gives John Stewart an emblem that looks more like Hal's.
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"BOWLAND'S ORGASM."

TITLE: Herogasm (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Of course, an accented letter is smaller than the rest of the letters in the word.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"ACCENT ON SIMON BOWLAND."

TITLE: The Incredible Hercules (Marvel).

ISSUE: 131.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Good God, Simon Bowland! Can you please understand that accented vowels and Ñs are not smaller than other letters? Now you've even mangled colorist Raúl Treviño's name... even if he does color Hercules' hair sandy blonde, instead of dark brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"DOCTOR... NOT OF ANATOMY."

TITLE: The Incredible Hulk V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 600.

CULPRIT: Ed McGuiness (penciller).

DISSECTION: A few minor mistakes, for example, look at Doc Samson's arm... does he have extra muscles?! Like the liefieldceps?


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"TRAUMA-TURGICAL."

TITLE: Phonogram: The Singles Club (Image).

ISSUE: 04 of 07.

CULPRIT: Kieron Gillen (writer).

DISSECTION: Gillen uses the word "thaumatological", which does not exist. He probably meant "thamaturgical".

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"SOMETHING'S MISSING..."

TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Amanda Conner (artist).

DISSECTION: Manhattan, lifted from the ground into space by the Ultra Humanite, is returned to Earth... but no subway tunnels, sewers or the like can be seen in the ground under it.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, variant cover artist Guillem March strikes again, changing Terra's hair and eye color.
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"BACK ISSUE OF KHAN."

TITLE: Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Scott Dunbier (editor).

DISSECTION: Nice first issue, a good idea to explore Spock's work as main promoter of the reunification of Vulcans and Romulans. Still, the Wrath Of Khan adaptation ad is still claiming "JUNE 2009" and all that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. If you want to sell back-issues, edit the ad, come on!
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"TINY LETTERS."

TITLE: Tiny Titans (DC).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Unknown letterer.

DISSECTION: An "é" is smaller than it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"DISORDERED NATIONS."

TITLE: X-Force V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Mike Choi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Even with all the fictitious countries that exist in the Marvel Earth, I don't see why the United Nations' flags in the front of the building would be in a different order than they are in reality.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, Elixir's eyes are colored brown when he has blue eyes.
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We had a whopping seventy dissections, and an average of 6.6 Bazzars! We have a large Moments Of The Week section, so let's get through them. The first few are from Legion Of 3 Worlds, first up, the obligatory "Legion Assemble!" splash page:


Then, the founders meet themselves. And Lightning Lad is a conceited douche:


Heh. Next up, Superboy Prime goes back home:


Who said you could never go back home? Then, the Green Lantern Corps comes back to life in the 31st Century:


Nice! Then, Superboy Prime goes back to being the troll he's always been:


See how awesome LO3W was? Now, one of those moments that make me love Atomic Robo:


Priceless! Now, what's most likely the scariest moment of the week:


Franklin has his powers back? *shivers* Let's get our mind off that, and relax with a joke:


Funny... sort of. Now, from Phonogram: The Singles Club (a quaint little book):


It has his cute little moments. Now, from Amazing Spider-Man, the sweetest moment of the week:


And then, a nice return:


Hey, tiger! And for our grand finale, what's cooler than an airship?


An airship piloted by a dog wearing goggles! With a gun! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!