Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The Dissector #80.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"If there's one place I didn't feel like going tonight, it's Jersey. I might have to stop and get a map... and a mullet." Spider-Man, Amazing Spider-Man #563.

Once more, here we are, trying to catch up. This column contains dissections for the week of 06/18, plus one from the vault, to complete the minimum ten dissections per column. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Incredible Hercules #117, you know why, hehehe; and the Worst Book was Kill All Parents #1 (one-shot, really)... just plain awful. Nobody picked up the DT! from last column; so I might as well spill it: Guy Gardner's boots were colored white, instead of green.

Before we go on to the dissections, one more thing. Last column I considered it a mistake when in Star Wars: Rebellion #15 Able called Luke a General. And it was. But I was wrong; because it was Able's mistake, not Jeremy Barlow's (the writer) mistake. Able is a clone trooper, who, in #16 calls Luke a General again, and when Skywalker asks if they gave up instant promotions during The Clone Wars, Able answers that to him "all Jedi were generals". To be fair, this explanation was suggested to me by my friend Chuck, and I just laughed. So, here's my retraction; although the average for last week doesn't change, the math adds up to the same.
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"IT'S IN HER EYES, THAT'S WHERE IT IS!"

TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Marta Martinez (colorist).

DISSECTION: Grace has red eyes here; while she could be wearing different contacts, I'm guessing it's a mistake.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"EVERYBODY'S DED."

TITLE: Everybody's Dead (IDW).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Brian Lynch (writer) and/or Amauri Osorio (letterer).

DISSECTION: The word "embarrassing" is spelled "embarressing".

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"WRONG TAXICAB."

TITLE: Hellblazer (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 245.

CULPRIT: Sean Murphy (artist).

DISSECTION: Chas Chandler is shown, and apparently, Sean Murphy has never seen the character, because he looks nothing like he should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"IRON PERSON."

TITLE: Iron Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 251.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: Iron Man's repulsor rays are called "repellor rays".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. This dissection is from 1989, blast from the past!
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"OH, YEAH, I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT."

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 22.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (artist).

DISSECTION: The Doom Patrol's Niles Caulder, aka The Chief is an old man with no physical super powers, but he's drawn here wider and more muscular than Batman himself.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"GREEN LANTERN, NOT GREEN HEADLIGHTS."

TITLE: Tangent: Superman's Reign (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 12.

CULPRIT: Dom Regan (colorist).

DISSECTION: No Dom, Jon Stewart's eyes are not green, that's in the cartoon.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"HE KICKS SO FAST HIS BOOT CHANGES COLOR!"

TITLE: Teen Titans: Year One (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 06.

CULPRIT: John Rauch (colorist).

DISSECTION: Batman sneaks up on Aqualad and Kid Flash, and the latter is kicked either by Batman or Robin, but with a yellow boot.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"THE LAUGHING MUSK."

TITLE: The Twelve (Marvel).

ISSUE: 06 of 12.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Comicraft's Jimmy Betancourt (letterer).

DISSECTION: Laughing Mask is called first Dennis Burton (correct name), and one panel later, "Barton".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"DISSECTION TRINITY."

TITLE: Trinity (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: Guess this one!

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"LOOKING IN BIG GREEN EYES..."

TITLE: Trinity (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).

DISSECTION: Pete, Pete, Pete. I've told you in the past, Jon Stewart's eyes are NOT green, that's in the JLU toon!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. He's been warned already.
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Low average week, at 5.2 Bazzars in 10 dissections... uneventful column, really, but there's bound to be one of those every now and then. Two Moments Of The Week to end this column, first up, not the only reason why Incredible Hercules was my favorite book of the week, but still:

Yeah! I rule!!!!! Last but not least, Cyborg flies into an enemy's cybernetic body transformed into a small insect, only to emerge seconds later.... SHIFTING TO A BUFFALO!!!

Hardcore!!!! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

3 comments:

Dwayne said...

Iron Man sported repellor rays first (check your Marvel Essentials), introducing repulsors shortly after unveiling his red and gold armor. Originally, the terms were used interchangeably. Eventually, repulsors referred to his primary offensive weapon, while the increasingly-rarely used repellors became just that, magnetic, metal repelling rays, reverse tractor beams, if you will.

I don't remember the story, but I'm guessing Iron Man used the repellors to push some metal away, right?

--Dwayne McDuffie
The Culprit

MaGnUs said...

Thanks for leaving this comment Dwayne; I've never seen that referenced anywhere, but I'll take your word for it. I've been reading Avengers Classics (plus old Marvel comics for the past 20+ years), but I don't remember "repellors", nor can I find a reference anywhere in the intarwebz.

Again, I'll take your word for it, and retract. Hey, did you know you'd won (all in good humor, of coruse) one of the Autopsy Awards for last year? And that you accepted it wearing a Green Lantern costume?

Thanks for stopping by, and let me say that I've loved your Damage Control books, and I'm having fun reading your JLA run.

MaGnUs said...

Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:

Guest: About that last picture, looks to me like it was that green titan guy doing the shape changing instead of Cyborg. :x


Nick S.: Regarding the "Dissect This', she obviously has sonic powers of some sort, yet is STILL talking.


Dominik B.: I'd say she's a ventriloquist as well. It would actually, in the case of Black Canary, make sense. After all, all the powers she does have are related to her voice. So I wouldn't be surprised if she could do that too.


Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Guest: you just spotted an error; I meant Beast Boy... what's your name so I can credit you, my friend?

Snake: you got it, it's that.

Dom: Nope, she shouldn't be able to talk while she screams.