Friday, October 17, 2008

The Dissector #95.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Urghhhh I think I'll stick to the old-fashioned, undesigned drugs, the ones that come in a glass." John Constantine, Hellblazer Presents: Chas-The Knowledge #4.

Nice and quick; this is the column for comics released on 10/01. The DT! from last column wasn't cracked; and it was the fact that the sign on the vehicle was in English, instead of Interlac; the language used in the Legion's era.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week goes to Hellblazer Presents... yadda, yadda, #4, still a solid read, and I'll admit to being a bit of an Anglophile these days... Worst Book Of The Week goes to Nightwing #149; Peter Tomasi turns the whole twenty-odd pages of book into one long, overdone, commonplace Scarecrow fear gas sequence... BORING! And now, the dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"MISTER HaT."

TITLE: Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 680.

CULPRIT: Randy Gentile (letterer).

DISSECTION: "Señor Sombrero" has a wrongly sized "Ñ".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S MY SUMMER COSTUME."

TITLE: DC Universe: Decisions (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Howard Porter (artist) and/or Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

DISSECTION: Power Girl's costume is sleeveless first, then pages later, it's as it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M THE NEW THE DEVIL!"

TITLE: El Diablo V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Jai Nitz (writer).

DISSECTION: El Diablo calls himself "The new El Diablo"; and as we've examined with "La Dama"; it should be "The new Diablo"; it would be like saying "The new The Batman".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT FOOTBALL LEAGUE!"

TITLE: Hellblazer Presents: Chas-The Knowledge (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Simon Oliver (writer).

DISSECTION: Tell me if you can spot this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GRAB YOUR DC ATLAS!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: Vixen is said to be from the fictional nation of Zambesi; but actually, Zambesi is the village she's from, the country is M'Changa.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. At least now she's wearing her totem...
<-------------------------------->
"ROMANS."

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Dominik noticed the following: "On Page 4, they mention a Weapon XXXC, which should mean Weapon 70. However, this doesn’t check out at all. Seventy would be written LXX. It would still have enough X in it to make it awesome and Wolverine-y, but it would also be correct. As an explanation, roman numerals from 50 to 100 would look like this:" He then goes on with the explanation, but there's no need to repeat it; just look up "Roman numerals" in Wikipedia.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. I'd rate it higher, but for all we know that's just a silly acronym that stands for X-cellent X-terminating X-traordinary Cyborg... yup, right.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, MY TANK TOP!"

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer) and/or RS & Comicraft's Albert Deschesne (letterers).

DISSECTION: Dom brings us another one (which I should say, also slipped past me, this book is from 09/24); this time in his specialty: Krautsprach! "On page 7, Nightcrawler asks “Are you alright, Leibchen?” The word he’s looking for, however, is “Liebchen.” It means, although very rarely used, “my dear.” A more common expression would be “meine Liebe.” Fun fact: Leibchen is not just some garbage word that defies all meaning. No, in fact, Leibchen is German for “Tank top.” So Nightcrawler called Jessica Drew a Tank Top... lovely"

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. It's probably a typo, but the rant was fun. Two badges for Dominik, and he makes Commander in the HDSC!
<-------------------------------->
"WE'RE GOING TO A RAVE."

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor) and/or Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: Enough with this "characters answering the readers' letters" crap... anyway, Mystiq says his name is "Raphael-Rave Darkholme"; it's really "Raphael-Raven".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, Morph, as usual.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT'S SO SUPER ABOUT THE KINGPIN?"

TITLE: Punisher War Journal V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Matt Fraction & Rick Remender (writers).

DISSECTION: The Punisher and GW Bridge face a Skrull that has characteristics of Hammerhead and the Kingpin... and bullets bounce off him because of his Kingpin stuff. While I can see them giving a Skrull an adamantium skull; the Kingpin is NOT superhuman.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"INSTA-DYE!"

TITLE: Supergirl V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Nei Ruffino (colorist).

DISSECTION: Supergirl's hair color changes from one panel to another.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RETCON TOKEN!"

TITLE: Venom: Dark Origin (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Zeb Wells (writer) and Angel Medina (penciller).

DISSECTION: Well, this is a big one... so Eddie Brock divorces his wife in this issue. We've seen her in the past issues, and something didn't look right to me... Then I noticed it: Brock's wife (who was briefly She-Venom in a 90s book) was blonde, and white... and in this book she's black!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well, that gives us a 7.6 Bazzars average in eleven dissections, pretty nice... or bad, I never know. Just two Moments Of The Week this time, number one, poor Hughie from The Boys gets a nasty surprise:


Always? Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! Then, the Punisher travels in style:


Aw yeah! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

3 comments:

'The Guvnor' Paul C said...

For Dissect This, is it that there is no actual team called 'Rio Plate'. I know there is a 'River Plate'.

And to me anyway, the sentence kind of reads a bit funny. Maybe it should be "It's his speed and agility that led to HIM being recently signed from Rio Plate FOR/ON £60,000 a week".

MaGnUs said...

You're right, it's "River Plate", not "Rio Plate". And the phrase is funny, but still correct as far as I can see... and in any case, sports broadcasters are hardly perfect in their speech.

MaGnUs said...

Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:

Dominik B.: Hah, another promotion. Am I captain of a ship yet? I want to command my own ship. How many dissections did I submit and how many ranks are there, my dear Tank top?


mathias: I think there are two possible mistakes in the DT. I believe that it should be Río de la Plata instead of Rio Plate. I don't know the precise timeline so it could be right. Shouldn't the pound sign be a Euro sign?


Dominik B.: England still pays in pounds, thank you. They never had the Euro. And probably won't ever have it either, since the Euro's going bankrupt before the pound sterling gets weak enough to need the Euro.

Also, Ronaldinho's teeth are all wrong. They should be more like... an old withered picket fence. Or a rake.


Martín P.: Dom, you're a Commander, so, no, no ship yet, wait till you make Captain. Also, that's not Ronaldinho, it's some other random guy.

Regarding your ranks question; I am the one and only Grand Admiral of the HNS Corps, and the ranks are as follow (the amounts of badges for each are on a file at my work computer):

High Admiral
Admiral
Rear Admiral
Vice Admiral
Commodore
Captain
Commander
Lieutenant
Lieutenant
Ensign

Mathias: "Rio de la Plata" is the river (an estuary, really); the team would be "River Plate", as the Guvnor said on the comment thread for this column on my blog.