The Dissector #160.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"We are all family here... all children of God. No need to fight. Remember what it says in Psalm 27... or is that Matthew 32? Wait, now I remember... it's Smith & Wesson 639!" Lt. Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith, A-Team: Shotgun Wedding #4.
Welcome to the column for comics released on 04/21; a little later than usual, but still in time... I try to keep a Friday date for the column. Before anything, I'd like to just showcase my son's new blog (and first one, since he's five), Bedtime Comics With My Dad, where we'll read comics together and he'll review them. Leave him a comment, he'll be glad to answer.
On matters pertaining to this column, JohnnyDoe cracked the DT!, noticing that the cot in Captain Boomerang's prison cell was gigantic, and I can add that it even grows between panels. Ezequiel pointed out that it's a TARDIS cell. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are these: Best Book Of The Week was Supergirl #52, good art, and great writing, solving a continuity conundrum, and preserving one of comics greatest love stories. Worst Book Of The Week was Avengers Vs. Atlas #4; as much as I enjoy Jeff Parker's Atlas stuff, this mini was convoluted and too long for its own good. The art by Gabriel Hardman was good, and I enjoyed the backup Gorilla Man story by Jason Aaron and Giancarlo Caracuzzo, but it doesn't save the book.
The Rundown: A-Team: Shotgun Wedding (Spanish language mistakes), The Amazing Spider-Man (weird English in the recap), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Batman's belt and chest emblems are wrong), Brave And The Bold (the terrorist Wonder Woman captures changes eye colors between pages), Green Lantern V4 (Hal's badge), Spider-Man: Origin Of The Hunter (Anna Kravinoff's eyes are the wrong color), X-Men Forever V2 (accented letter, cedille, "micro-molecular level", Beast has yellow, featureless glowing eyes, X-Men Legacy (wrong German).
TITLE: American Vampire (DC/Vertigo).
CULPRIT: Rafael Albuquerque (penciller) and Dave McCaig (colorist).
DISSECTION: Dissect This!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Pretty good book, so far... enjoying the old west back up by Stephen King himself... but there was some wrong use of German, and letterer Steve Wands made an "ñ" smaller than he should have.
TITLE: Hercules: Fall Of An Avenger (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 02.
CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer) and Reilly Brown (penciller).
DISSECTION: Some medieval and renaissance conceptions of the Minotaur depicted in an inverted way than the more common depiction; body of a bull, with a man's torso, not unlike a "bull-centaur". If you were to use that version, and make a female minotaur, you'd give her the lower body of a cow... not the lower body of a horse... because that's a centaur.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Namor and Banner have their eyes colored incorrectly, and Phobos' hairdo is incorrect.
"WHO IS DONNA TROY? WHO CARES!"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).
DISSECTION: The JLA satellite's hull is breached, and Donna Troy gets sucked out into space, clutching her throat as if she can't breathe, until "Starman" (the blue guy) comes to her rescue. Uhm... while I know she can't actually survive in space on her own, she's tough enough to resist WHILE SHE FLIES BACK INSIDE UNDER HER OWN POWER!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Batman's emblems are wrong, and some of the German dialogue is incorrect as well. Oh, and Power Girl's sleeve is missing on the cover, and why does the "J" in James Robinson in the credits have a dot? Upper case "J"s don't have dots.
"RIP IT! AND RIP IT GOOD!"
TITLE: Siege: Spider-Man (Marvel).
CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).
DISSECTION: WTF? Are we really supposed to believe that it's possible for Ms. Marvel to separate Mac Gargan from his symbiote just by PULLING HIM OUT BY FORCE?!?!?!? The symbiote is not a suit, it's BONDED with its HOST (not wearer)... this is one of the lamest storytelling devices I've seen. It was perfectly possible to have her use her powers to generate intense heat, which is one of the weaknesses of these creatures.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
This week's average was 6.8 Bazzars in thirty dissections; pretty high, but we had some outrageous stuff. This week's Cover is another Iron Man variant, this time by Mike del Mundo for The Amazing Spider:
Tony Stark's Metropolis! Now, Moments Of The Week, first up, Power Girl gets nasty:
Will Cousin Clark be happy? Then, great romances never die:
Thank you, Sterling Gates. Now, who said you feel no pain when music hits you?
Ouch. Now at Ultimate Marvel, don't let your ex-girlfriends and your current one team up:
Charlie Brown! And for our ending, more Marvel, one of my favorite characters:
SELF WILL KICK YOUR ASS!!! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...