DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"(...) you're fools... and, man, I PITY you!" Bosco "B.A." Baracus, A-Team-War Stories: B.A.
Yes, that quote's from 03/24, but I just got it now, and there wasn't anything that caught my eye from 03/31, which is the week this column covers. JohnnyDoe cracked the DT! from last week; Ares' corpse in Asgard's "triage room" looked nothing like it should after the Sentry "broke it". Badge for JD.
Best Book Of The Week was Hellblazer #265, nothing particularly special, but I enjoyed Simon Bisley's art, in a more polished style than usual, and Milligan's script was a good read too. Nice send off for Malcom McLaren. Worst Book Of The Week was Outsiders #28, I'm not sure why I still read this crap. DiDio, stick to editorial duties.
The Rundown! Adventure Comics V1 (Colossal Boy's eye color is wrong, and so are Matter Eater Lad's gloves), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Juggernaut's eyes are the wrong color, "Michele", and "Amana" Conner), Detective Comics (Veronica Cale's eye color is wrong), Gotham City Sirens (Riddler's hair color is wrong), Justice League Of America V2 (Batman's chest and belt emblems are wrong, and the chest one changes between pages; Blackest Night is over, and Aquaman and the Martian Manhunter are referred to as still dead), New Mutants V3 (accented letters), X-Men: Second Coming (the X-Mansion is too "intact", Psylocke's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Men Forever V2 (Ro's eyes are white while she's not using her powers, Daisy Dugan's eyes start out green, then they're blue, then they're green again; Nick Fury's eye is colored incorrectly; Beast has normal eyes first, then blank eyes next; accented letter). Dissections?
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"EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM."
TITLE: Blackest Night (DC).
ISSUE: 08 of 08.
CULPRIT: Alex Sinclair (colorist).
DISSECTION: Well, apart from Hal's badge being wrong several times (including both covers), and other Lantern badges and rings being wrong too; which was all expected, there's a series of coloring errors by Sinclair (who had nothing to do with the art mistakes). Carter Hall, Ronnie Raymond, and Boston Brand all have blue eyes, but Sinclair decides they all have brown eyes... and to boot, gives Hawkman black hair, when his hair is brown.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for each coloring dissection.
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"CLOAK AND MARRIOTT."
TITLE: Cloak and Dagger V4 (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Mark Brooks (penciller).
DISSECTION: Dagger goes to her quarters on Utopia... and they look like a large apartment or house, with perfect wood floors, expensive looking furniture, kitchen appliances, and even doors leading into other rooms. Really? When everybody, including Cyclops, has been shown living in small, utilitarian quarters on Utopia?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Rockslide also has details drawn into his eyes, when they should just be blank, and Dr. Nemesis hair, which should be grey, is colored a bright yellow.
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"I CAN'T COUNT TOO GOOD."
TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (IDW).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Zander Cannon (writer).
DISSECTION: Now, Zander Cannon (whose name still sounds AWESOME) wrote a nice miniseries; which could have been shorter, granted, but still was TNGish enough to be an episode of the show; and Javier Aranda's art in this issue, while ugly, is technically correct enough to make me think he probably grew hands or got cybernetic replacements. Makes me think of a Star Trek roleplayer who had a character with "positronic hands"... ignoring the fact that what was positronic about Data was HIS BRAIN, and it was a feature related to artificial intelligence, NOT HANDS!!!
... but I ramble. In this last issue, Geordi is getting some numerical data from one of the aliens-of-the-week-from-the-planet-of-the-week (Allios IV), to solve a technical conundrum posed by a specific piece of technology developed in that planet. He can't make heads or tails of the numbers he's being fed, and struggles to understand them, and after a great deal of effort... realizes the aliens, who have six fingers on each hand, use a base-12 number system. Yes, Geordi, a professional engineer, who is one of the best Starfleet and the entire Star Trek universe has to offer, only realizes that about a civilization whose technology he's been studying for what seems to be days? Even if it's just hours, THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT WHEN STUDYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SO HEAVILY DEPENDING ON NUMBERS, IS WHAT SYSTEM THEY USE!!!
Me, I'm ashamed I never realized the aliens had six fingers on each hand, and it was never mentioned before. But it'd be in the first page of whatever Wikipedia entry Geordi consulted about this planet.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Data's rank insignia are wrong, showing him as just a Lieutenant, Chief O'Brien is also a Lieutenant, and his eyes are colored wrong.
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"GENERATIONS..."
TITLE: Superman & Batman: Generations (DC).
ISSUE: TPB (originally from issue #3 of the mini, I believe).
CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer... and penciller, inker, letterer, book stapler, delivery boy, comic book shop owner, buyer, reader, reviewer). Seriously, just the first three, and as writer for this dissection.
DISSECTION: An old one, from a 1999 mini (and its 2000 TPB), as a DT! Since I didn't have a good one from current comics, I went into my Vault. This should be easy, and I'm ashamed of Byrne, as much as I love his work.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, colorist Trish Mulvihill gives Lex Luthor blue eyes, when he has green ones.
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Average this week was 6.7 Bazzars in thirty-seven dissections. High, at least within the usual range. Cover Of The Week isn't really that much, but since there weren't any impressive covers this week, I settled on this one:
Nice work, as usual, by Jan Duursema, it'll certainly not be a nominee for Cover Of The Year, but it's pretty to look at, and better than the rest of the covers from this week. The first Moment Of The Week is from the Blackest Night finale:
Scary! And from the same book, something that was predictable, but still pretty cool:
I just noticed the Martian Manhunter has pants, but no shirt. What gives? Now, still in DC, but in Vertigo, generational gaps:
I feel like that sometimes around my younger friends or co-workers. And a Marvel moment as a finish:
Nice little exchange between Cyclops and Nightcrawler. Too bad their understanding didn't last much... Nightcrawler learned about the current's X-Force license to kill soon after this. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
1 comment:
Thank you!
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