Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Dissector #184.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


"Why does every BBQ I have end with a dead hippie being molested?" Franky, Billy The Kid's Old Timey Oddities And The Ghastly Fiend Of London #2 (The Goon backup story).

And here we are, still playing catch up. This is the column for books released on 10/27; and another month ends with that week. Don't be surprised if I churn out another column within the week... but don't be disappointed if I don't.

Last week's DT! was cracked by Darryn, who correctly mentioned the fact that both Supergirl and Batman (Dick Grayson) are members of the current JLA line up, and it wouldn't be logical for her to not know if he was out on actual JLA business. Darryn gets a badge for that, and he also gets an apology for me not mentioning he had solved the previous one as well. In fact, I didn't even mention the DT! from #182 last column, which was that Cannonball cannot float in mid-air without his blast field showing. Darryn gets a badge for cracking that one, and he gets a second badge in apology too.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Captain America: Patriot #3, not much that I can say that I haven't said before in this column about that book. In fact, this is the third issue of the book, and each issue has been Best Book Of The Week when it came out. Karl Kesel and Mitch & Bettie Breitweiser do a top-notch job. Worst Book Of The Week was Superman #704... G. Willow Wilson can't salvage JMS's boring storyline, and much less if this is what the art by Leandro Oliveira (and Rod Reis's uncharacteristic bad coloring) looks like. DC, this is Superman, the namesake title of your most important character... don't allow this stuff to happen.

The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man (Harry Osborn's eyes are colored incorrectly), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent lettering, Tony Stark's eyes shouldn't be brown), Avengers And The Infinity Gauntlet (Hulk's eyes are colored incorrectly, his size is wrong and he changes sizes, Doom's eyes are wrong too), Avengers Vs. Pet Avengers (for the nth time, Lockheed doesn't have plates), Black Widow V4 ("foriegn"), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Oracle (Alfred's eyes and hair are colored incorrectly... ALFRED, FOR GOD'S SAKE... ALMOST BALD, BLACK/GRAY HAIR, BLUE EYES!!!), Captain America: Patriot (accented letters), Fantastic Four V1 ("a hour"), Shadowland: Moon Knight (accented letter), Spider-Man Vs. Vampires (vampires don't have a society? bullshit, it flies against the large vampire storyline currently running in the X-Men), Star Wars: Invasion - Rescues (again, The New Jedi Order era is not about Luke Skywalker and his descendants), Supergirl V6 (how is Saturn Girl nicknamed Emm, when her name is Imra?), Superman V1 (Lois Lane should not be an orange belt in a martial art, given her history, she should be a black belt), Teen Titans V3 ("docter"?), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored wrong), Time Masters: Vanishing Point (Hal Jordan's badge both in the cover and inside the book is wrong, and his boots get colored white in a panel), Ultimate Avengers 3 ("athrax"), Ultimate Mystery (Nathaniel Essex gets referred to as "Sterns", a scene has all the speech balloons mixed up between four characters), Uncanny X-Men (Cannonball's power description is incomplete), X-Men: Curse Of The Mutants - X-Men Vs. Vampires (Rockslide is drawn much smaller than he should be).

TITLE: Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Ra's Al Ghul (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza (writer).

DISSECTION: I refuse to believe that Bruce's stupid Insider armor needs twenty four hours between uses of the JLA teleporter. It's ridiculous, no matter how much I turn it around in my head. This is BATMAN, who (also stupidly) supposedly BUILT AND PROGRAMMED A SATELLITE TO SPY ON SUPERHUMANS.


TITLE: DC Universe: Legacies (DC)

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Len Wein (writer).

DISSECTION: Again, there is no way the main character could have been alive while the original (Golden) Guardian was first active, and now meet his cloned version?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 183.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: As mentioned before, I forgot to include the solution and the "solver" of the previous DT! in column #183. JohnnyDoe noticed this, and gets a badge.


TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 183.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Donald313 noticed the following: I wrote "Hous of M", "colored buy Jeromy Cox", "his last" (instead of "his last name"), "there a couple of" (instead of "there are").

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each, four badges more for Donald313... who now surpasses JohnnyDoe as highest ranking active member in the HDSC (below me). Both are Commanders, Don has 33 badges, and JD 32.

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: Really, Alan Scott is surprised and shocked that super powered terrorists exist?


TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Mike Grell (penciller).

DISSECTION: Spot this one:

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There are also other lettering, coloring, pencilling and writing dissections in this issue and issue #9.
Average this time is 6.1 Bazzars in forty-eight dissections. Regular. Now, Cover Of The Week is by Sean Murphy, for Hellblazer: City Of Demons:

I'm not sold on the Pinocchio nose on John, but the book is enjoyable, and this cover is nice. Moments Of The Week! First, Captain America is not afraid to hit a woman when she deserves it:

Of course, she deserves it for being a racist and a criminal, not for being female. Now, who does Ben Grimm have dinner with when he's human-looking for a day?

Stan and Jack, of course! And how do you purge bad luck from your gaming dice?

The list of ingredients is pretty hard to get... And guess who's a father again?

Yup. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...



Jordan said...

Hey Magnus.. nice column :)

WTF are those bone claws coming from Wolverine's wrist instead of in between his knuckles???
Also.. if the bone claws had phalanges.. they would not be very strong without a muscle in between the phalanges.

See you!!!

MaGnUs said...

Dude, I hadn't noticed the claws were coming out of his wrist! They're also like that in a previous scene... but what I was shooting for was that they're articulated, segmented, when they shouldn't be. Well done, two badges for you next column.

Darryn said...

wow that Hellblazer cover looks just like the DT jpeg!

MaGnUs said...

Bloody 'ell! I thought I'd fixed that!