The Dissector #101.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"No more munchkins" Scarlet Witch Of The West, Avengers Fairy Tales #4.

No more munchkins... in my roleplaying games, thank you. Welcome to another issue of The Dissector; this time around with comics published on 11/12 (yes, yes, I'm still more than a month behind. Before we get on with the actual column; I'd like to say that last issue I made a mistake on how I wrote about Psylocke's powers. Snakebyte brought it to my attention; and I did argue with him about the finer points of the issue; I conceded that it was a mistake on my part. However, I do not think it merits an entry in this column, nor a rating; like I do sometimes with other errors that I notice or are brought to my attention.

Snakebyte, unfortunately, decided that he could tell me how to write my column and that if I did not report this mistake of mine as a dissection, I was an hypocrite and accused me of having claimed that I was infallible. I politely told him that he had no right to tell me how to write my column, or to call me a hypocrite, and that I never claimed to be perfect, quite the contrary. This lead to him saying he wouldn't read my column any longer... and that's that. You can read the whole thing here.

Well, let's get this party started... first come The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was Terra #1... fun plot, nice cheesecake art (more on that in the Moments Of The Week). Worst Book Of The Week was Superman & Batman Vs. Vampires & Werewolves... God, even the name is lame...
<-------------------------------->
"THE JOKRE."

TITLE: Batman Confidential (DC).

ISSUE: 23.

CULPRIT: Andrew Kreisberg (writer) and/or Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

DISSECTION: The Joker says "exremly", instead of "extremely".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"UNDEAD UNDEAD UNDEAD!"

TITLE: Superman & Batman Vs. Vampires & Werewolves (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Kevin VanHook (writer).

DISSECTION: I don't know what's worse, referring to werewolves as undead, or saying "the undead commune with nature".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OPERATION IRKI FREEDOM."

TITLE: Blue Beetle V8 (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer).

DISSECTION: I had to resort to my Vault again, with books from 2006. In this case, the country is called Qurac, not "Qrac".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, "por supuesto no" is not a correct Spanish sentence.
<-------------------------------->
"SALAKCIOUS R. CRUMB."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: Salakk.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also on issue 5, from my Vault, but by Dave Gibbons.
<-------------------------------->
"STARING INTO YOUR EYES."

TITLE: X-Men: Phoenix Warsong (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: John Starr (colorist).

DISSECTION: More fun from the Vault. In this case, Ringo's son gives Colossus brown eyes, when his eyes are blue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO CAREY, POR FAVOR!"

TITLE: X-Men V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 192.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer)

DISSECTION: Two wrong uses of the Spanish language by Carey.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"JOVENES MENTIROSOS."

TITLE: Young Liars (DC/Vertigo)

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).

DISSECTION: And another one for Jared; this time, he uses an "Ñ" smaller than the rest of the letters in the sentence, to accomodate for the "accent mark" (which is not, it's a different letter, not an accented "N").

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
That's all the dissections for now; with an average of 6.9 in ten entries... oh, wait... where's the Dissect This!? It's hidden; it's a mistake of my own; which you'll only catch if you read this column and have read the previous ones... IE, it's not a mistake I made this time, but one made before... which is exposed in this issue. While you ponder that, here are the Moments Of The Week; first up, turning yourself into candy in a post-apocalyptic abandoned mall?


Bad idea, Grunge. Then, Superman's greatest superpower?


His spitcurl! And lastly, we men always enjoy cake:


Cheesecake, that is! Thank you, Amanda Conner. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #100.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"And Chas, no pressure or nothing, but if I and when I ever get back to London, I'm fully expecting to find the same shit-hole that was there when I left-- and not a pile of smoldering ruins, okay?" John Constantine, Hellblazer Presents: Chas-The Knowledge #5.

Shoot, I forgot to mention back in column #97, published on November 11; that that date was The Dissector's third anniversary! 11/11/05 marked the first appearance of The Nitpicker in the now defunct CBEM (which you can still read in archives)... well, happy birthday to me! Well, this is column #100 and I have... nothing special prepared. So, there.

All that said, the DT! from last column was spotted by Snakebyte; the word "fuselage" refers to a part of an airplane, the writer meant "fusillade". Now, what are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Best Book Of The Week was Justice Society Of America #20; I can't even remember why, it was probably just fun. The Worst Book Of The Week was Star Wars-The Clone Wars-Shipyards Of Doom... just plain boring and awful. Dissections ensue:
<-------------------------------->
"I KIND OF FORGET STUFF..."

TITLE: Adventure Comics Special-The Guardian (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen speaks of the clone Newsboy Legion as if he hasn't seen them in ages, when they helped him during Countdown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?"

TITLE: Avengers-The Initiative Special (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Tom Brevoort (editor) and/or Jeanine Schaefer (associate editor).

DISSECTION: Christos N. Gage is credited as "writers". Who would have thought he used ghost writers?

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CHECK IT, MATE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 99.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I wrongly labeled Checkmate #31 as #1 in the Picks. Thanks Snakebyte for calling me on this; two more badges and you make High Admiral. Just in case, and because some have asked for it, here are the roster and ranks of the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps:

Ranks:

High Admiral 53-infinite
Admiral 47-52
Rear Admiral 41-46
Vice Admiral 36-40
Commodore 31-35
Captain 26-30
Commander 21-25
Lieutenant Commander 16-20
Lieutenant 6-15
Ensign 1-5

Current Roster:

Grand Admiral MaGnUs
High Admiral Nysie (Honorary)
Commodore Snakebyte 34
Cmdr. Dominik B. 23
Lt. Cmdr. Miss Kitty Fantastico 16
Lieutenant Guvnor 13
Lieutenant Sully 9
Lieutenant Snarf5181 6
Lieutenant DrSilent 7
Ensign Roy 5
Ensign Bea 3
Ensign Bored 3
Ensign Lucas Siegel 3
Ensign Tylo 2
Ensign Shadz 2
Ensign Mato 2
Ensign Matt Brady 1
Ensign Paul O'Brien 1
Ensign Trasgo 1
Ensign Mean Jeff 1
Ensign Ilustr8r 1
Ensign leahcim 1
Ensign TokerTheKid 1
Ensign Teukro 1
Ensign Wolfie 1
Ensign Jordan 1

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FOGOSA."

TITLE: Final Crisis: Resist (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer).

DISSECTION: Rucka finally gets Fire's last name correct, da Costa; but gives her first name as "Beatrice", when it's Beatriz.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There's also a couple more typos or wrong words.
<-------------------------------->
"GEOFFJOHNS."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and/or Rob Leigh (letterer)

DISSECTION: Power Girl is named incorrectly as "Powergirl".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MY BULLETS ARE MADE OF LEAD AND TEFLON, THAT'S WHY THEY CAN'T KILL YOU."

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Among other things; Psylocke says that her psi-sword is made of "TK energy", and "that it cannot cut" someone. Err... no, the sword is made of psionic energy, that's why it affects minds; it would be able to cut people if it was made of telekinetic energy.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
No DT! this time, I didn't feel like it, there was no dissection that could work. We had 5.3 Bazzars average in twelve dissections; pretty normal. Now, the Moments Of The Week. First up, the return of one of my favorite legionnaires:


That's Tellus, in case anyone's wondering, telepath and telekinetic. Next up, Kraven shows a glam killer's best weapon:


Nipple lazors! And look at those pants... To finish, Rockslide again shows his sensitive nature:


He tries, at least. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #99.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"We're doing steampunk X-Men here. (...) J#### C#####, I'm turning into Alan Moore." Warren Ellis, Astonishing X-Men: Ghost Boxes #1.

If I'm not catching up, at least I'm trying. This is the column for dissections found in books released on 10/29; so, dig it (yes, I've been listening to Isaac Hayes). The Dissect This! was not uncovered by anyone, and it was the fact that Helo gives his rank as private. Private is a Marines Rank, not a Colonial Navy rank; he'd be an ensign in any case... or if he hasn't graduated yet (I think he has, by that issue), a cadet.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Battlefields: The Night Witches #1; Garth Ennis gives us the start of another good fighter plane epic, this time around in WWII, and based on the Soviet Union's female fighter squadrons. Go read it. Worst Book Of The Week was, once again, Checkmate, this time issue #1. Please come back. Greg Rucka. Dissections, while I send good vibes to Greg so he returns to Checkmate:
<-------------------------------->
"GOGGLE.COM."

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Steve Kurth (penciller).

DISSECTION: Gravity's goggles come and go.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"KRAUTPTAIN AMERRIKA."

TITLE: Captain America Theater of War: Operation Zero-Point (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Charles & Daniel Knauf (writers).

DISSECTION: Dominik checked the Krautsprach of this issue, and found six dissections, for example, this one: "Verdeckt die Ausgänge" is wrong, it’s one of those Babelfish translations of "Cover the exits". "Blockiert die Ausgänge" or "Versperrt die Ausgänge" is what they were going for.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Badge for Dominik, of course.
<-------------------------------->
"CHECK THIS DISSECTION OUT, MATE!"

TITLE: Checkmate V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Bruce Jones (writer).

DISSECTION: Here, check this out:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DECIDE WHAT GLOVES TO WEAR, OLLIE."

TITLE: DC Universe: Decisions (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Howard Porter (penciller).

DISSECTION: One of Green Arrow's gloves appears and disappears.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST DISSECTION OF THE PHANTOM DISSECTOR (NOT)."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 84.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Instead of "War Is Hell: First Flight Of The Phantom Eagle", I called it "War Is Hell: First Flight Phantom Eagle".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS DRIVING ME TO RAGE."

TITLE: Final Crisis: Rage Of The Red Lanterns (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Salaak again.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TO-TEM. REPEAT AFTER ME. TO-TEM."

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller).

DISSECTION: Yo, Ed! Quit worrying so much about asses and cleavage, and when a character (Vixen) depends on an object (Tantu Totem) to have powers, draw her wearing it. Now, at some points we can accept she's not wearing it because she's inside the totem itself... but she wears it in some pages, then she doesn't, then she does, then she doesn't...

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MAYBE HE MEANT TO WEAR JUST HIS TIGHTS?"

TITLE: Rann/Thanagar Holy War (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 08.

CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller) and/or John Kalisz (colorist).

DISSECTION: Animal Man's boots, as every issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OHNOES! ZOMG! THE SUPERNATURAL!!!"

TITLE: Superman & Batman Vs. Vampires & Werewolves (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Kevin VanHook (writer).

DISSECTION: I'm sick and tired of writers having Batman (and now Nightwing too) claiming that it's strange to run into vampires and werewolves and other supernatural creatures. They do it every single day, both in their own books, and in team books.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOVE GLOVE."

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 681.

CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller).

DISSECTION: For the billionth time, John Stewart does not wear gloves.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE'S A VENTRILOQUIST, MAYBE?"

TITLE: Ultimate Spider-Man (Marvel).

ISSUE: Annual 3.

CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: Mysterio's police henchman has no arrow pointing to her from her speech ballon in one panel.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ANOTHER ONE?"

TITLE: Ultimate Captain America Annual (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Starkings/Comicraft/Deschesne (letterers).

DISSECTION: King T'Chaka's speech balloon is pointing to M'Baku in one panel.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well then, we got an average of 6.2 Bazzars in seventeen dissections; good... or bad, I never know. Now, Moments Of The Week; first up we have a lolcat Red Lantern:


No, I did not make it myself, but it's funny. Second, the only thing worth a damn so far in Reign In Hell:


Fragtastic! And finally, Emma Frost is such a bitch:


Hehehehe. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #98.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"... Cat's fast asleep and one moment, as dry as the proverbial bone... but the next presto... the girl's soaking wet." Psylocke, New Exiles #13.

It's gonna be long until I catch up, since lately I haven't even been able to read my comic books. In any case, here we are with the column for books released on 10/22. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week will be our first stop; and the Best Book Of The Week was Secret Invasion 7; a good battle royale that furthers the plot. Worst Book Of The Week was Hulk #7; which is frankly boring.

Nobody spotted the DT!; which was the fact that Flash's boots were colored red, instead of yellow. Now, the dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"BART ADAMA SAYS: EAT MY SHORTS!"

TITLE: Battlestar Galactica (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Unknown.

DISSECTION: From my vault comes the September 2006 issue of Battlestar Galactica; which has a preview for the following issue... billed as "Barttlestar Galactica".

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars; it's not the first time they got the title of their own book wrong...
<-------------------------------->
"BATTLESTAR DISSECTICA!"

TITLE: Battlestar Galactica: Origins (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Seamus Kevin Fahey & Clay Carmouche (writers).

DISSECTION: Well, here's a nice Dissect This! for y'all Galactica fans. Just so you know, this happens before the show:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IZZATWAP!"

TITLE: Blue Beetle V8 (DC).

ISSUE: 32.

CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).

DISSECTION: Traci Thirteen quotes Star Wars' Admiral Ackbar; but the balloon says "Akbar".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEEKS OF THE MOMENT."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 97.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Well, I fucked up with last column. Three, count 'em, three dissections; first I mixed up two pictures in the Moments Of The Week; DrSilent noticed it and he gets another badge. Then I noticed I switched around the culprit an issue number in an entry; and Snakebyte let me know that I had credited Gregg Hurwitz as "Greg" (which I also did in #93). Badge for him; he's only 4 badges away from making Vice Admiral (admiral of the vice?). There's another dissection I found in my column #90; but telling you would spoil a dissection for a future column (#100).

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for the picture mess-up.
<-------------------------------->
"MIGHTY MORPHIN'..."

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor), Michael Horwitz (assistant editor), and Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: Morph.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PSYCHOTIC POWERS."

TITLE: X-Factor V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 36.

CULPRIT: Peter David (writer).

DISSECTION: Longshot is said to have "telemetric powers"; the correct word is "psychometric"; from "psychometry"; aka "token object reading".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
This column ends up with a 5.3 Bazzars average in 10 dissections; quite low. Moments Of The Week, so we can finish this thing. First up, Pa Kent bought it!


Damn, and a friend spoiled it for me before I could read it... Then; Clint Barton cuts the crap and goes all Hawkeye on the Skrulls!


Aw yeah! And last; I tell you, Norman Osborn is the next Marvel 616 President of the USA:


Let's wait and see. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #97.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I've been a thief. A goddess. An X-Man. And a queen. And yet, somehow, I always end up in a sewer under New York City." Storm, X-Men: Worlds Apart #01.

I know, I could have caught up, but I slacked. Blame it on a lot of work at my job... These are the dissections for comics published on the week of 10/15, which means we're almost caught up. There was no DT! last column, so the Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Three Worlds #2, which was just fan-tas-tic! Worst Book Of The Week was Casey Blue: Beyond Tomorrow #6; last issue of a pointless miniseries.

As a shameless plug, Diamond Previews is now carrying Teenagers From The Future, so don't forget to order it at your friendly local comic store; if you're interested.

Off you go then, the dissections are here:
<-------------------------------->
"PUNCT-WHAT?"

TITLE: Atomic Robo: Dogs Of War (Red 5 Comics).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Jeff Powell (letterer).

DISSECTION: In the back-up story, a newspaper reads "Caribbean Cartel Massacre Mass Vigilantism or Gang War?", punctuation be damned!

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TATTOO-VANISH CREAM!"

TITLE: Batman And The Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Ryan Benjamin (penciller).

DISSECTION: Again, Grace's midriff tattoos are missing!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Black Lightning is wearing a regular domino mask instead of his newfangled goggle ones.
<-------------------------------->
"THE ORIFICE."

TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer) and/or Sal Cipriano (letterer).

DISSECTION: The word "orifice" is spelled "orfice"... in a sentence about Booster rubbing or kissing Skeet's orifice if he had one... ew...

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPACINGISOVERRATED!"

TITLE: DC Special: Cyborg (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 06.

CULPRIT: John J. Hill (letterer).

DISSECTION: One of the narrator boxes says "savedusing".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DECIDE WHAT TO DISSECT."

TITLE: DC Universe: Decisions (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

DISSECTION: Beside the horrible art; what can you find wrong here:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ISSUES, SHMISSUES!"

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota)

ISSUE: 96.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I screwed up, and Snakebyte spotted it. I incorrectly put the issue of an "X-Men V2" dissection as 02 of 02; when it was 192.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. I also labeled Big Hero 6 as a six-issue series, when it's five issues long; that was also brought to my attention by Snake; who gets two badges and reaches the rank of Commodore in the HDSC; again, being the first to reach a rank. Lucas Siegel also gets a badge, spotting a typo I made.
<-------------------------------->
"MIRROR MIRROR, TURN MY ACCENT UPSIDE DOWN."

TITLE: Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge (DC).

ISSUE: Geoff Johns (writer)

CULPRIT: 03 of 03.

DISSECTION: Mirror Master's accent is all wrong again; he sounds like the Juggernaut instead of the Scottish accent he should have.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HERE IN THE FLASH'S COMIC WE ALL SPEAK TOO FAST."

TITLE: The Flash V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 245.

CULPRIT: Swands, aka Steve Wands (letterer).

DISSECTION: Raven says "OtherTitans", with no space.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WISH YOU WERE HEAR."

TITLE: The Phantom V7 (Moonstone).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Mike Bullock (writer).

DISSECTION: Mike, the word "hear" is not a substitute for "here".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLINA DE CIPRESES."

TITLE: The Punisher V7 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 63.

CULPRIT: Greg Hurwitz (writer)

DISSECTION: Again, full of Spanish language dissections; the worst one being the fact that a small Mexican village has a cemetery that reads "CEMETERY" in English on the gates.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Other stuff not worth going into detail, as well.
<-------------------------------->
"Ñ-MEN."

TITLE: X-Men: Worlds Apart (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: Raul Treviño, the colorist, has his Ñ lettered in the wrong size.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ZORRO, MI COMPATRE!"

TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: Not as many dissections as you'd think, just five. The one that hurt the most was using "grande amigo" for "great friend"; which should be "gran amigo". Come on Matt, stay away from Spanish, or get a consultant...

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
We end the dissections with a 6.0 Bazzar average in twenty-one entries; run of the mill. Now, the Moments Of The Week. First up, the Legion Of Three Worlds gets some green help:


Rond Vidar, last Green Lantern!!! Then, on another green note, we find out what Beast has been up to:


Way to go, Hank! Last, Cannonball screws up:


Kentucky; not the most racially correct place to grow up. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #96.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Spider-Man, I can, and will, remove your ability to speak." Doctor Strange, Avengers/Invaders #05.

Welcome to the column for comics released on 10/08; let's start by giving a badge to the Guvnor; since he cracked the DT! from last time. In this case, the problem was that the football (yes, football, not soccer) player is said to have been purchased from "Rio Plate"... the team (teams, actually, one from Uruguay, and one from Argentina) is called "River Plate". It's actually a bad translation of "Rio de la Plata"; an estuary that divides Uruguay and Argentina, meaning "river of the silver".

Now, it's time for The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week is Green Lantern V4 #35; a good ending for the Secret Origin arc; while Worst Book Of The Week was X-Men: Manifest Destiny #2... just pointless. Now, the dissections (no DT! this time, just couldn't find anything good enough):
<-------------------------------->
"ACCENTORO NO WRONGO!"

TITLE: Big Hero 6 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 06

CULPRIT: Unknown.

DISSECTION: In the Ebon Samurai profile, the word bushido's last letter is the wrong size.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GREEN LANTERN BOOKKEEPING."

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: Salakk, not Salaak.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. I also found it on issue 3, from my vault.
<-------------------------------->
"DYING ON THE HILL."

TITLE: Invincible Iron Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Frank D'Armata (colorist).

DISSECTION: Maria Hill's hair.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE SHOPS FOR DYE WITH MARIA HILL."

TITLE: Secret Invasion: Inhumans (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Guru eFX (colorist).

DISSECTION: Black Bolt's hair again.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I AM NOT A CROOK... I'M A KILLER!"

TITLE: Two-Face: Year One (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 02.

CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer).

DISSECTION: There's several dissections, but the worse one is the fact that Two-Face continues in the run for Gotham City DA; but he can't, he's a wanted criminal. Wanted criminals cannot be candidates in elections.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOS HOMBRES EQUIS SON MUY MACHOS!"

TITLE: X-Men V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 02.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer)

DISSECTION: Another one from the vault. The Spanish in one of the dialogues is fucked up.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, there's a problem with the size of one of the accented letters in the same dialogue.
<-------------------------------->
So, we get a 7.5 Bazzars average on eleven dissections; pretty standard. Only one Moment Of The Week, and I'll let you go. Early in his career, Batman captures a criminal and considers it a closed case:


Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure, right! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #95.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Urghhhh I think I'll stick to the old-fashioned, undesigned drugs, the ones that come in a glass." John Constantine, Hellblazer Presents: Chas-The Knowledge #4.

Nice and quick; this is the column for comics released on 10/01. The DT! from last column wasn't cracked; and it was the fact that the sign on the vehicle was in English, instead of Interlac; the language used in the Legion's era.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week goes to Hellblazer Presents... yadda, yadda, #4, still a solid read, and I'll admit to being a bit of an Anglophile these days... Worst Book Of The Week goes to Nightwing #149; Peter Tomasi turns the whole twenty-odd pages of book into one long, overdone, commonplace Scarecrow fear gas sequence... BORING! And now, the dissections:
<-------------------------------->
"MISTER HaT."

TITLE: Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 680.

CULPRIT: Randy Gentile (letterer).

DISSECTION: "Señor Sombrero" has a wrongly sized "Ñ".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S MY SUMMER COSTUME."

TITLE: DC Universe: Decisions (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Howard Porter (artist) and/or Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

DISSECTION: Power Girl's costume is sleeveless first, then pages later, it's as it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M THE NEW THE DEVIL!"

TITLE: El Diablo V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Jai Nitz (writer).

DISSECTION: El Diablo calls himself "The new El Diablo"; and as we've examined with "La Dama"; it should be "The new Diablo"; it would be like saying "The new The Batman".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT FOOTBALL LEAGUE!"

TITLE: Hellblazer Presents: Chas-The Knowledge (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Simon Oliver (writer).

DISSECTION: Tell me if you can spot this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GRAB YOUR DC ATLAS!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: Vixen is said to be from the fictional nation of Zambesi; but actually, Zambesi is the village she's from, the country is M'Changa.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. At least now she's wearing her totem...
<-------------------------------->
"ROMANS."

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Dominik noticed the following: "On Page 4, they mention a Weapon XXXC, which should mean Weapon 70. However, this doesn’t check out at all. Seventy would be written LXX. It would still have enough X in it to make it awesome and Wolverine-y, but it would also be correct. As an explanation, roman numerals from 50 to 100 would look like this:" He then goes on with the explanation, but there's no need to repeat it; just look up "Roman numerals" in Wikipedia.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. I'd rate it higher, but for all we know that's just a silly acronym that stands for X-cellent X-terminating X-traordinary Cyborg... yup, right.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, MY TANK TOP!"

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer) and/or RS & Comicraft's Albert Deschesne (letterers).

DISSECTION: Dom brings us another one (which I should say, also slipped past me, this book is from 09/24); this time in his specialty: Krautsprach! "On page 7, Nightcrawler asks “Are you alright, Leibchen?” The word he’s looking for, however, is “Liebchen.” It means, although very rarely used, “my dear.” A more common expression would be “meine Liebe.” Fun fact: Leibchen is not just some garbage word that defies all meaning. No, in fact, Leibchen is German for “Tank top.” So Nightcrawler called Jessica Drew a Tank Top... lovely"

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. It's probably a typo, but the rant was fun. Two badges for Dominik, and he makes Commander in the HDSC!
<-------------------------------->
"WE'RE GOING TO A RAVE."

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor) and/or Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: Enough with this "characters answering the readers' letters" crap... anyway, Mystiq says his name is "Raphael-Rave Darkholme"; it's really "Raphael-Raven".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, Morph, as usual.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT'S SO SUPER ABOUT THE KINGPIN?"

TITLE: Punisher War Journal V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Matt Fraction & Rick Remender (writers).

DISSECTION: The Punisher and GW Bridge face a Skrull that has characteristics of Hammerhead and the Kingpin... and bullets bounce off him because of his Kingpin stuff. While I can see them giving a Skrull an adamantium skull; the Kingpin is NOT superhuman.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"INSTA-DYE!"

TITLE: Supergirl V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 34.

CULPRIT: Nei Ruffino (colorist).

DISSECTION: Supergirl's hair color changes from one panel to another.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RETCON TOKEN!"

TITLE: Venom: Dark Origin (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Zeb Wells (writer) and Angel Medina (penciller).

DISSECTION: Well, this is a big one... so Eddie Brock divorces his wife in this issue. We've seen her in the past issues, and something didn't look right to me... Then I noticed it: Brock's wife (who was briefly She-Venom in a 90s book) was blonde, and white... and in this book she's black!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Well, that gives us a 7.6 Bazzars average in eleven dissections, pretty nice... or bad, I never know. Just two Moments Of The Week this time, number one, poor Hughie from The Boys gets a nasty surprise:


Always? Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! Then, the Punisher travels in style:


Aw yeah! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #94.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Zombie monkeys! Riding dinosaurs! With JETPACKS! ON MARS! Contents may change prior to publication." Ambush Bug: Year None #3, "next in" blurb.

This will be the shortest column ever, and not a pretty one either... So I open my folder for the week of 09/24, and find only three books there, and after what I call "the culling" (the process where I go through my notes and check which dissections are actually incorrect and which I have to discard because they're not mistakes) I end up with only two books to write up. Well, one of them is Zorro, so that guarantees the minimum amount of dissections for one column... but should I still make use of my vault? Nah, sorry, even if this column is boring, it does help me catch up quickly.

Still, we've got fun stuff like the Moments Of The Week, the Picks, that funny quote up there, and the DT! Last column's was not solved; and it was the fact that Hal Jordan is wearing a uniform with shorts over his tights, which he hasn't in some time. I gave it a lower rating than usual, because it's a "fantasy" Hal Jordan, imagined by that dreaming kid, so... but still, since everybody else is wearing their current costumes, I chalk it up to artist mistake.

And then you've got The Dissector's Picks Of The Week: Best Book Of The Week was Legion of Super-Heroes V5 #46, Jim Shooter is writing the LSH like he... well, like he knows it like the back of his hand, which he does; and while I'm not a big fan of Francis Manapul's art, it's suitable. Worst Book Of The Week was Project Superpowers #5; they just keep dragging it on and on, don't they?

There's something I'd rather avoid, but since I've been keeping you updated, I'll say it... Jim H., aka Nutcase65 faked his death... Yes, his heroic sacrifice and struggle for life was all fake, a ruse he came up with to prove a stupid point about character deaths in comic books... When he's confronted and chastised for what he did, he has the audacity of reacting badly, and even of insulting me and this column! Well, at least all my readers click on my columns to read what I have to say, and I don't have to lie and manipulate people's feelings to write articles.

With that out of the way, it's now time for the (not so many) dissections.
<-------------------------------->
"LEGION OF SUPER-DISSECTIONS!"

TITLE: Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 46.

CULPRIT: Francis Manapul (penciller).

DISSECTION: Here's one for Legion fans (or attentive people):


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SEÑOR CABEZA DE PATATA!"

TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: As usual, the uses of Spanish are incorrect. The funniest (or saddest) one is using "papa" for "dad", when it's "papá". "Papa" is "Pope", or "potato"; and he does it three times.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. And eleven dissections more; including one where a word in an English dialogue is missing.
<-------------------------------->
A nice and round 7.0 Bazzars average on thirteen dissections... truth is, all dissections got the same rating... 7. The DT! got a 7 after thinking it through, while language dissections get the same rating automatically, unless they're very repetitive, or they're too outrageous (like when they made up a word for Blue Beetle's cover). I like the number seven... but I'm rambling,

To end this column, the best part (at least this time) The Moments Of The Week! First, the Red Skull becomes the Red Screen:


Teletubbies!!! Then, what Darkseid does in his free time:


Scary! Next, a scene that could have been Quote Of The Week:


Better than Spidey! And then, look at this, and tell me Norman Osborn won't be the next President Of The USA in Marvel:


That's an edit of a wonderful sequence I made; here's the full speech: "Today... We make history. Thunderbolts! For Earth! For Freedom! Strike! (...) My friends! These creatures think Earth belongs to them! That they can come here--to our home--and make us kneel! But this is our world! This is our country! While a single breath remains in our bodies, we will fight and die to keep it! Stand with me! Show them! Let us shout it with one voice! This... is MY country."

Brilliant! On a completely different note, I've caught up with Doctor Who, and now I'm watching Torchwood... I'm watching episode 4, season 1... there's a fight between a cyberwoman and a pteranodon. awesome! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #93.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Innocents in peril are the opiate of the masks." The Joker, Birds Of Prey V2 #122.

Here we are, with the column for books released on 09/17, taking us halfway into the month of September, and almost, almost caught up. I'll start with a new retraction; turns out the German in Secret Invasion: X-Men was correct, although "biblical" in style. Thus, the average for last column changes, going up to 7.5 Bazzars. Thanks to Dominik for pointing this out, he earns himself another badge.

Nobody spotted the DT!, but more on that later. The Dissector's Pick Of The Week were quite easy; Best Book Of The Week was the stupendous Hellblazer #243, a book that almost always pays off. John Constantine STEALS SANTICLAUS' BONES, fer cryin' out loud! What more could you want? Well, if you read it, you know what else happens... if you don't, check out the moments of the week. Then there's the Worst Book Of The Week; which is Checkmate V2 #30, even beating Dreamwar, but not by a lot, because of it's boredom-inducing qualities. There, off you go to the dissections now, jolly good chaps!
<-------------------------------->
"DREAMSSECTION."

TITLE: DC/Wildstorm Dreamwar (DC/Wildstorm).

ISSUE: 06 of 06.

CULPRIT: Lee Garbett (penciller).

DISSECTION: This one's actually a bit difficult, but discerning readers can spot it.


DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it's an "imaginary" Hal, so. Also, Alan Scott's hair is colored brown instead of blond,.
<-------------------------------->
"MOVING AROUND."

TITLE: DC Universe: Decisions (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller)

DISSECTION: Lois Lane's and Clark Kent's apartment looks nothing like it's been depicted in Superman's books.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTING IN PLAIN VIEW."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 92.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Big boo-boo, detected by Snakebyte, my own Dissector. I normally decide the DT! after writing up all of the dissections; and I go back and delete the write up for the one I decide will be used for that feature. You know how I also don't give some dissections full entries, and just mention them (sometimes just barely) within the context of a more interesting one. In this case, I'd done that with the DT!, and left the text in place in the entry for the other dissection. Luckily, Snake caught it fast, and I was able to fix it before only him and Dominik (who hadn't caught it, apparently) had read the column. It was only within minutes of my publishing it, so no harm done, except robbing Snakebyte from his glory of catching the DT!, but he'll get an extra badge for that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Snakebyte also noticed a word missing from my retraction last column; he gets yet another badge, two more and he makes Commodore. That lad is a rising star!
<-------------------------------->
"EMPRIE."

TITLE: Empire (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: Mark Waid (writer) and/or Comicraft (letterer).

DISSECTION: One of those dissections from my vault; to reach the minimum ten entries per column. This is a book which started publication in 2000 at Image, but it then stopped publication and only started again at DC in 2003. I recommend you hunt it down, there's even a TPB by DC. The dissection, in this case, is that one of the characters, Sebirus, is called "Serbius".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"EL PUNISHER."

TITLE: The Punisher V7 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 62.

CULPRIT: Greg Hurwitz (writer) and/or Laurence Cambpell (artist).

DISSECTION: There's a building labeled "Almacenamiento General De Parque"; when it should be "Del Parque".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, an Ñ is the wrong size.
<-------------------------------->
"HOLY BOOTS."

TITLE: Rann/Thanagar Holy War (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 08.

CULPRIT: Ron Lim (penciller) and/or John Kalisz (colorist).

DISSECTION: Yep, you've guessed it, Animal Man's boots.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OHNOES, SINGER CAN'T FIGHT!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 502.

CULPRIT: Matt Fraction & Ed Brubaker (writers).

DISSECTION: Cyclop's file Karma says he's not sure how she'll do now that the team's taken a more militaristic approach. Well, not only has Dazzler been a proven member of the X-Men in trying times, but she's also fought a war to free Mojoworld. So yes Cyke, she's more prepared than emotionally imbalanced (though cute) Pixie or your own girlfriend, Emma Frost, who used to be the X-Men's ENEMY. Pfft...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. As another note, Wolverine's car should be a "Maserati", not "Masarati".
<-------------------------------->
This column has an average of 5.9 Bazzars in ten dissections; an usual average. You want the Moments Of The Week? Happy to oblige. First up; a fun Atomic Robo moment that shows why I say it's like classic Hellboy:


Diapers, hehe. Next up, as I said before, Constantine and Santa:


YES! He's ground up St. Nick's bones and snorts them! Hell of a spell!!! Then, what happens when you run around with Greek gods?


Exactly! Now, Blue Beetle's legal guardians:


Okay, what a weird family unit.. Last, Cyclops knows when to be a leader, and when to be a big brother:


And yes, Rockslide is such a softy! Skin of stone, heart of putty, I love him in a non-gay way! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #92.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Think Sadie. Think... What would the Beastie Boys do? SABOTAGE, BABY!" Sadie Hawkings, Young Liars #7.

Here we are with the column for comics released on the week of 09/10; I'll start by apologizing, since I was wrong. The DT! is dissection at all... I thought the verb "to lie" was being used incorrectly. My bad; and the average actually goes down to 3.5...

The Dissector's Picks OF The Week are quite simple so I'll keep it simple; Best Book Of The Week is Star Trek: Mirror Image #3; a good look at the mirror universe Picard, while Worst Book Of The Week was the deplorable ending to an overall boring book, GeNext #5. Your dissections, as follows:
<-------------------------------->
"FIRE!"

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 571.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott (writer).

DISSECTION: The Radioactive Man raises the radiation levels "until the air around (anti-Venom) ignites in flames"... I don't know a lot about radiation, but nothing I can see tells me that that's even possible.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. If I'm wrong, and someone can scientifically argue that it is possible, I will retract, but I think it's a ball of baloney.
<-------------------------------->
"SPECIAL EFFECTS."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 88.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I just noticed I credited Guru as Guru FX, when it's Guru EFX or eFX.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M LAYING."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 91.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: So I screwed up, and cried "dissect this!" when there was nothing to dissect... the worst thing was confusing the verb usage.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"..."

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor) & Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: Morph.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"PRAYING IN ALL THE WRONG LANGUAGES,"

TITLE: Secret Invasion: X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).

DISSECTION: A Skrull device tells Nightcrawler "lasset uns beten", for "let us pray together, but I checked with my friend Santiago and "lass uns beten" is the right phrase, or even "lass uns zusammen beten".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BOLT OF HAIR DYE."

TITLE: Secret Invasion: Inhumans (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Guru EFX (colorist).

DISSECTION: Again, Black Bolt's hair is colored incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FAKE MOON RISING."

TITLE: Star Trek: Romulans The Hollow Crown (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 02.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).

DISSECTION: The Romulan Praetor speaks about a "third moon" of Romulus, and there's no such thing. Romulus has one moon in canonical sources, and semi-canonical sources has it with two.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars; there's no need for that.
<-------------------------------->
"ROMULAN DISSECTION EMPIRE."

TITLE: Star Trek: Romulans The Hollow Crown (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 02.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).

DISSECTION: This one is definitely wrong, I promise!


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S STILL NOT A COSTUME."

TITLE: Trinity (DC).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Mark Bagley (penciller).

DISSECTION: Wonder Girl's boots and pants are drawn incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THICK AND RICH."

TITLE: Wolverine: Saudade (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Jean-David Morvan (writer).

DISSECTION: Wolverine's claws are definitely not "less than a millimeter thick".

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DAS MAGENTIKTESTAMENTEN."

TITLE: X-Men: Magneto Testament (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak (writer).

DISSECTION: Dominik once more comes to my German-language assistance: "The German in this book is garbage. So much for historical accuracy. “Ich habe deußtscher Mädchen geßchändet” is just plain horrible. If you boldly claim that you did historical research and all that, you can’t tell me that you didn’t figure out how to spell “Deutsche” or “geschändet.” You should at least have come across the word “Rassenschande” and “Deutsches Reich” at those places you reference in the back of the book. Seriously, if you just pretend to speak German after listening to Rammstein Songs and talking to that old Nazi that lives in the trailer park near you, you don’t go around talking big that you did serious research.

For all those interested, the Esszett is a letter exclusive to Germany and is basically a substitute for the Double-S. So it’s not “Missachtung” (disrespect), it’s “Mißachtung.”" And that's what I call a guest rant... as for the book, I was scared that an origin story for Magneto would be horrible, but except for the wrong German usage, it was pretty good.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each of the mistakes.
<-------------------------------->
So this makes for a 7.4 Bazzars average in fifteen dissections, much more "healthy", innit? Well, here are the Moments Of The Week. First up, Wonder Woman's apetastic advisors:


Funny! Then, "my god has a hammer":


Great scene! And for our ending:


You don't mess with Norman Osborn while using equipment you swiped from him! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #91.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"When I was a kid, Nick Fury was a white man! It's so amazing that he finally evolved into something that makes sense to me. But don't worry. See? You too can grow up to be a black man!" Samuel L. Jackson, Wizard Magazine #204.

Welcome to the first column for comics from September; specifically for comics released on 09/04. Thanks to Sully for cracking the DT! from last column; the woman claims to be the SRA union rep for Jackpot, but the SRA is a law, not an organization. In any case, she'd be Jackpot's Fifty State Initiative union rep.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follows: Best Book Of The Week was again Hellblazer Presents: Chas-The Knowledge #3; just a solid Hellblazer book, and you know I like Brits. Worst Book Of The Week was El Diablo V3 #1... what a Ghost Rider rip-off!!! A bad one, too...

On a terribly sad note; I just learned that Jim H., former ICS.net writer has passed away. You can read the story here; but the short version is that despite the good news we'd had lately about his health; he finally succumbed to a massive infection and intracranial pressure. My deepest sentiments go to the family; may you be with God, Nutcase65...

Nothing more to say then, but to go on with the column:
<-------------------------------->
"NO, LEX IS THE BALD ONE!"

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 570.

CULPRIT: John Romita Jr. (penciller).

DISSECTION: Norman Osborn's hair is wrong; he's gone way too bald in Romita's hands.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SWANDS."

TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 848.

CULPRIT: Steve Wands (letterer).

DISSECTION: I'm pretty sure "THATDOESN'T STOP HIMFROM (...)" is not supposed to be printed that close together.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPEAKING OF VOLUMES."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 90.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte spots two dissections in my latest column, and with that, gets two badges and makes Captain! Our very first Captain in the HDSC, congratulations! The first dissection is that he noticed that I had been labeling Blue Beetle as V7 (disregarding changes in publisher, but that's something I'm inclined to do in specific cases), when it's V8. In my defense, I believe that when I checked the Grand Comics Database to find out what volume the new series was when it started, one of the volumes, either by Modern or Holyoke hadn't been indexed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. I also incorrectly named "Secret Invasion: The Amazing Spider-Man" as "Secret Invasion: Spider-Man". Also, if you want to report any dissections you can do so by e-mail (lordmagnusen at gmail dot com); or by joining the new ICS.net forums, which have a special thread for dissections. Just be sure to include the book title and issue in the subject, so I can ignore it until I've actually read the book.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU'RE DYING TO KNOW, AREN'T YOU?"

TITLE: Invincible Iron Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05.

CULPRIT: Frank D'armata (colorist).

DISSECTION: Is Frank aiming for a permanent slot here at my column? Because he keeps coloring Maria Hill's hair incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FRUCTUOXIA ITSELF SOUNDS LIKE A TYPO."

TITLE: Relatos De Ciudad Fructuoxia: El Gol De La Valija (Ninfa).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Nicolas Peruzzo (writer/letterer/artist, writer/letterer in this case).

DISSECTION: Several typos and typesetting errors not worth mentioning in detail.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars for the worst one.
<-------------------------------->
"SECRET SIXECTION."

TITLE: Secret Six V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Gail Simone (writer) and/or Steve Wands (letterer), credited as Swands.

DISSECTION: Spot this one, please:


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, they use the word "adventure" instead of "adventurer".
<-------------------------------->
Bloody hell! Sorry, I've been watching Doctor Who all night on my new laptop (yes, I'm happy man); and the language sticks. I was actually surprised because our average has been 3.7 Bazzars, in eleven dissections... the lowest, since column #64, a 4.1... and the lowest, EVER! Well, let's go on to the (only two, seems this week wasn't that eventful, in general) Moments Of The Week, First up, Stephen Mooney turns one of the sexiest characters in the Buffyverse into a horrible drag queen:


Good God! Death and ascension have not been kind to Cordellia! Then, Deadshot tells it like it is:


Yup, he's got videos! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #90.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"She was like John Rambo meets Polly Pocket." Kick-Ass, about Hit-Girl, Kick-Ass #4.

Welcome to a new column; last one for the month of August; about comics released on 08/27. First of all, another badge for Dominik; he spotted the DT!, Vixen was indeed not wearing her Tantu Totem. Two more badges and you make Commander, Dominik.

In case you're wondering, here are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week; Best Book Of The Week was New Avengers #44; I like what Bendis is doing with his two Avengers books, giving us more insight into the build up of the Secret Invasion. Worst Book Of The Week was Teen Titans: Year One #6; what started as a possibly good mini evolved into a boring read.
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"PLEASE, HELP US, THE FLASH!"

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7 (DC).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).

DISSECTION: Again la Dama is addressed as "La Dama". You don't call the Batman "The Batman" to his face, or at least you don't say "The Batman, we need to talk."

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"IT'S A KIND MGIC."

TITLE: Cisplatino Visiones (Apocalipta)

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Unnamed letterer.

DISSECTION: First time we have a Uruguayan comic in this column! In one of the short stories ("Convergencia En Los Andes"; "Convergency In The Andes"); the word "mitológicamente" ("mythologically") is written "mitólogicmente".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"IT WAS COLD."

TITLE: DC Universe: Last Will And Testament (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Adam Kubert (penciller).

DISSECTION: Wonder Girl's costume (Donna Troy's) in a flashback is shown as having sleeves, when it didn't.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Hal Jordan's costume shouldn't have the "trunks" any longer.
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"VOLUMES OF DISSECTION."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 89.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Snakebyte correctly points out that Punisher is V7, not V5. Badge for him, and he's only two badges away from Captain.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"HAS HE DISOWNED THEM?"

TITLE: Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Again, the West kids call Jay Garrick "Mr. Garrick", instead of "Uncle Jay".

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, Mirror Master's accent is wrong.
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"GROSSES RAO!"

TITLE: Final Crisis: Superman Beyond (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 02.

CULPRIT: Grant Morrison (writer) and/or Steve Wands (letterer).

DISSECTION: Overman says "Grosse Krypton", for "Great Krypton"; when it should be "Grosses". Thank you Dominik for the consultation.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"THE CAUSALITIES OF WAR."

TITLE: Guerrillas (Image).

ISSUE: 01 of 09.

CULPRIT: Brahm Revel (writer, in this case)

DISSECTION: The word "casualties" is written "causalties".

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, the word "coming" is written as "comig".
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"LIGHTNING FEET."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).

DISSECTION: Well, I give up on Jay Garrick's chest emblem, that's it. He has two costumes, or whatever, and Eaglesham draws him in his team book; which, for lack of a solo book, is the character's main title. Now, I won't be retracting from previous dissections, and also, I won't the change in his boots. That's just a mistake (at least until I decide to give up on that too).

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, His eyes are colored brown, when they should be blue.
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"OH, GROW UP ALREADY!"

TITLE: The Legion of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 45.

CULPRIT: Jim Shooter (writer).

DISSECTION: Once more, Colossal Boy doesn't grow, he's a giant that shrinks.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"AT LEAST IT LOOKS LIKE THE LAST ISSUE..."

TITLE: Marvel Comics Presents V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: John Barber (editor) and/or Michael Horwitz (assistant editor).

DISSECTION: USAgent...

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"THEY JUST KEEP CLONING HIM AND TELLING HIM THE PREVIOUS GUY WAS A DIFFERENT ONE."

TITLE: The Mighty Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: If the Skrull we see take Hank Pym's shape at the end of the book is not the first Pym they insert... then why is his Skrull name the same as the previous one's?

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, it can be a title... but I doubt it.
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"NOT THE LAST ISSUE."

TITLE: New Exiles (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Jordan D. White (assistant editor) & Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: Sigh, Morph. But at least they admit something in the letter column.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"NON-BLUE GENES."

TITLE: New Warriors V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Beth Sotelo (colorist).

DISSECTION: Again, Jubilee's eyes are brown instead of blue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"RREVOLUTIONARRY WARRRIOR!"

TITLE: Pistolfist: Revolutionary Warrior (Bluewater Comics).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: J.S. Earls & David A. Flanary, Jr. (writers) and/or Kel Nuttall (letterer).

DISSECTION: It should be "tyranny", not "tyrrany"

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"SECRET SPIDEY DISSECTION."

TITLE: Secret Invasion: Spider-Man (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: Brian Reed (writer).

DISSECTION: Check this one out, tell me what you find wrong:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"THEY STOLE THE REAL PLAQUE AND SOLD IT ON EBAY."

TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).

ISSUE: 215.

CULPRIT: Scot Eaton (penciller).

DISSECTION: Xavier examines the ruins of the latest iteration of the X-mansion; and he picks up a plaque that reads "Xavier Institute Of Higher Learning"... when the school was called "... For Higher Learning".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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A low average of 5.4 Bazzars in twenty dissections; but it was to be expected. Here's the Moments Of The Week, short and sweet. First of all, M'rissey again shows why his name in the Legion should be Legal Lad:


I love this kid already! Then, a surprise:


Peter remembers some of his deal with Mephisto??!?! And for the finale, more Norman:


Mark my words, Norman Osborn will be the next president of the USA in Marvel's 616 universe.

That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!