Showing posts with label Teen Titans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teen Titans. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Dissector #200.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
06/01"I came to Gotham as an adult to break the Batman. So I beat him. I did what no other could. Not Luthor, not those loathsome psychopaths in Arkham. And when he was beaten... I snapped his spine over my knee in a joyful sound that I have dreamt of every night since." Bane, Secret Six V3 #34.
06/08"Electro, I always meant to tell you... You were my greatest adversary and it was an honor to battle you. Oh wait. That wasn't you. I barely ever gave you a second's thought." Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man #159.
06/15"Aquaman sinks half of Europe... and he's considered the most dangerous being on the planet. I slaughter half of Africa... and most people don't even know my name. Location, location, location." President Grodd, Flashpoint: Grodd Of War.
06/22"Kraven is about to learn the most important rule of fighting me... if you allow me to strike back, you have already lost." Black Panther, Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
06/29"My plan... is to give the X-Men what they want... more mutants." Scarlet Witch, Avengers: The Children's Crusade #6.
It is with a heavy heart, that I welcome you to the column for the month of June. Heavy heart because this will be the last installment of The Dissector, at least for some time. I'm not killing the column forever, merely placing it in carbonite for a long, undetermined hiatus. You've noticed I haven't posted a column in months, even though I kept on compiling notes for this month, July, and August. When I started reading September's books, I decided it was time to let the column go for now.
Why? Well, as I've said before, I'm very busy with my day job, and now, thankfully, paid writing jobs (did you check out the flash game "Kingdom Rush"? I wrote the texts for that, and I'm working on the sequel already!), and some small, yet promising comic book lettering jobs. On top of that, I'm writing and editing comics in Spanish for the small imprint I'm part of, GAS Comics... and at some point, you'll see them in English as well (like this story I published on Hadron Colliderscope).
I just don't have the time to keep up and write this column as it deserves, but... you know what? I just decided that I'll transform this into a proper blog. I don't want to kill The Dissector, it'll just stop being a column for now, and have occasional blog posts, with a dissection that's just an image and a few lines; or even a cool moment (a la Moments Of The Week). I just can't kill the Dissector... he's stronger than me!!! So that's what it's going to be like: no schedule, no long-winded posts (unless I feel like it), no firm structure, no ratings, etc.
For now, however, enjoy the last column... but stay tuned. Last column's DT! was cracked by Johnny Doe: Alan Scott's power comes from his ring so only his right hand should be glowing. Yeah, the Starheart's power is within him and all that jazz, but still. Now, The Dissector's Picks For Each Week:
Best Book Of The Week of 06/01 was Thunderbolts #168; I'm not a fan of any of the character
starring there, yet Jeff Parker makes them engaging. Kev Walker's art (with Frank Martin's colors) give the book a gritty feeling that's fitting for a book starring mostly convicts or ex-convicts. Worst Book that week was the first issue of the new volume of S.H.I.E.L.D.; as much as I love retro super-science (almost technomagic), and Dustin Weaver's art is pretty cool, Hickman's tendency to overcomplicate things just to seem deep makes it a boring read. Maybe that's not Hickman's intention, but it ends up feeling that way to me. Cover Of The Week is this wonderful piece by Sabrina Alberghetti for Chip 'N' Dale #7. I can relate to Monty's love for cheese.
Best Book for 06/08 was the first issue of Mystery Men; Marvel's miniseries introducing pulp-era heroes. As a writer who knows the style, David Liss is perfect for this book, and creates characters that fit the era's stereotypes superbly. Patrick Zircher's art captures the right feel for the 30s; with great color by Andy Troy. Worst Book was Red Robin #24. I have no idea why I was reading this book, it's not bad, but it's definitely not my kind of book... and the art by Marcus To is technically good, but bland. Cover for this week was Joe Jusko's beautiful painting for Warlord Of Mars #7. Jusko captures exactly what this book is about.
Week Of 06/15 has as Best Book Hellblazer #280, Peter Milligan's run keeps delivering,
and while guest artist Gael Bertrand's style is not what I'd prefer, it doesn't disappoint. Trish Mulvihill's colors are probably the main reason why I still felt at home with Bertrand's art. Worst Book this week was Teen Titans #96, wake me up when the whole trip to Hindu hell is over. Cover this week was this simple, yet nice circus poster by Cliff Chiang, for issue one of Flashpoint: Deadman And The Flying Graysons.
Best Book for the week of 06/22 is Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
This book never ceases to entertain, David Liss' script for is great, and while Jefte Palo is not Francesco Francavilla, his art sure is up to the task. Worst Book was Superman #712. JMS's utterly boring "Superman walks through America" arc is interrupted by a bland fill-in issue starring Krypto, written by Kurt Busiek. It could have been palatable, if it wasn't for the awful art by Rick Leonardi, who can't draw a human being without a face that looks like it belongs to a Dick Tracy villain. Cover for this week is that beautiful piece by Alex Ross for Rocketeer Adventures #2... would make a great poster.
Last week of the month, 06/29, has as Best Book the second to last issue of The Strange Case
of Mr. Hyde, issue #3. I can't stress enough how good this book is, and how it'd be a great TPB gift for people that don't usually read comics. Cole Haddon's script is neither pretentious nor silly; finding a perfect middle road to tell this tale; while MS Corley's art excels at evoking Victorian times, while being agreeable to modern artistic sensibilities. Buy the collected edition for someone when it comes out; or go buy the four issues online or from your friendly local comic book store. Worst Book of the week was Flashpoint: Project Superman #1. It wasn't inherently bad, just bland and uninteresting. Cover of the week is Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #11, by Dan Panosian... not a particularly beautiful cover, but definitely one that grabs your attention.
Let's get on with this last column...
<-------------------------------->
"RED THIS COLUMN. OR GREEN IT."
TITLE: The Dissector (Clockwork Chap).
ISSUE: 199.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Sidney noticed that I wrote that I had "red" Action Comics #901. Badge for Sidney... oh, BTW, you can still earn badges come the Dissector's new format, don't fret!
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING."
TITLE: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (DC).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Rob Leigh (letterer).
DISSECTION: In addition to a character being called a "dignitary" during the whole issue, at one point the dialogues are overflowing the balloons. That's a very glaring lettering mistake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?"
TITLE: John Byrne's Next Men (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).
DISSECTION: Byrne calls one of his characters "Antonio", when her name is "Antonia", being a woman. He also writes "sectretarty" instead of "secretary", and while I don't do typos anymore, these two were pretty glaring.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. The book also ends without a "to be continued" notice or anything along those lines, making you wonder if your copy is missing a page.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREIGN NAMES!"
TITLE: Namor: The First Mutant (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Artist Carlos Rodríguez is credited as "Rodrîguez"; a last name that doesn't exist. Paying a little attention to names that are foreign to you is just a matter of respect...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOOK MA! BOTH HANDS!"
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 712.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: For the umpteenth time, a flashback to Superboy's death in Infinite Crisis is shown, and he has both hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SNIFFING PIXIE DUST."
TITLE: X-Men: Prelude To Schism (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 04.
CULPRIT: Will Conrad (penciller) & Lee Loughridge (colorist).
DISSECTION: Regardless of the fact that Namor is wearing his Speedo costume in one page, and then later his current costume; Pixie appears at the end, but she looks nothing like she should. Different wings, different hair, different costume, etc. She looks more like Wasp from The Ultimates.
I still don't understand what this mini was about, really, since it doesn't seem to have anything to do with Schism...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars all around...
<-------------------------------->
Average was 6.4 Bazzars in nine dissections, pretty normal. Now, the Moments Of The Month! From 06/01, Peter Parker geeks out about something more important than anything that's happened in his superhero career:
That's what I like about Dan Slott, he gives Pete his scientific dues (Fred Van Lente does, too). The following week, but from the Ultimate universe, Aunt May shows she's hardcore:
Sadly, she couldn't save Pete. Over at Superman, this is what I meant earlier about Rick Leonardi's art:
Does he think they're all Bizarros? From 06/15, Iron Man's Fear Itself tie-in arc... watch the bottle. Now you see it...
Now you don't, Tony has it! From 06/22, who's able to deflect any insult?
Bladezz! And with just two words... Rocketeer Adventures not only gave us one of the covers of the week, but this moment:
Simply awesome. And to finish this column, a moment from 06/29's "Mr. Hyde":
Accuracy, people, please. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
06/01"I came to Gotham as an adult to break the Batman. So I beat him. I did what no other could. Not Luthor, not those loathsome psychopaths in Arkham. And when he was beaten... I snapped his spine over my knee in a joyful sound that I have dreamt of every night since." Bane, Secret Six V3 #34.
06/08"Electro, I always meant to tell you... You were my greatest adversary and it was an honor to battle you. Oh wait. That wasn't you. I barely ever gave you a second's thought." Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man #159.
06/15"Aquaman sinks half of Europe... and he's considered the most dangerous being on the planet. I slaughter half of Africa... and most people don't even know my name. Location, location, location." President Grodd, Flashpoint: Grodd Of War.
06/22"Kraven is about to learn the most important rule of fighting me... if you allow me to strike back, you have already lost." Black Panther, Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
06/29"My plan... is to give the X-Men what they want... more mutants." Scarlet Witch, Avengers: The Children's Crusade #6.
It is with a heavy heart, that I welcome you to the column for the month of June. Heavy heart because this will be the last installment of The Dissector, at least for some time. I'm not killing the column forever, merely placing it in carbonite for a long, undetermined hiatus. You've noticed I haven't posted a column in months, even though I kept on compiling notes for this month, July, and August. When I started reading September's books, I decided it was time to let the column go for now.
Why? Well, as I've said before, I'm very busy with my day job, and now, thankfully, paid writing jobs (did you check out the flash game "Kingdom Rush"? I wrote the texts for that, and I'm working on the sequel already!), and some small, yet promising comic book lettering jobs. On top of that, I'm writing and editing comics in Spanish for the small imprint I'm part of, GAS Comics... and at some point, you'll see them in English as well (like this story I published on Hadron Colliderscope).
I just don't have the time to keep up and write this column as it deserves, but... you know what? I just decided that I'll transform this into a proper blog. I don't want to kill The Dissector, it'll just stop being a column for now, and have occasional blog posts, with a dissection that's just an image and a few lines; or even a cool moment (a la Moments Of The Week). I just can't kill the Dissector... he's stronger than me!!! So that's what it's going to be like: no schedule, no long-winded posts (unless I feel like it), no firm structure, no ratings, etc.
For now, however, enjoy the last column... but stay tuned. Last column's DT! was cracked by Johnny Doe: Alan Scott's power comes from his ring so only his right hand should be glowing. Yeah, the Starheart's power is within him and all that jazz, but still. Now, The Dissector's Picks For Each Week:
Best Book Of The Week of 06/01 was Thunderbolts #168; I'm not a fan of any of the character
starring there, yet Jeff Parker makes them engaging. Kev Walker's art (with Frank Martin's colors) give the book a gritty feeling that's fitting for a book starring mostly convicts or ex-convicts. Worst Book that week was the first issue of the new volume of S.H.I.E.L.D.; as much as I love retro super-science (almost technomagic), and Dustin Weaver's art is pretty cool, Hickman's tendency to overcomplicate things just to seem deep makes it a boring read. Maybe that's not Hickman's intention, but it ends up feeling that way to me. Cover Of The Week is this wonderful piece by Sabrina Alberghetti for Chip 'N' Dale #7. I can relate to Monty's love for cheese.
Best Book for 06/08 was the first issue of Mystery Men; Marvel's miniseries introducing pulp-era heroes. As a writer who knows the style, David Liss is perfect for this book, and creates characters that fit the era's stereotypes superbly. Patrick Zircher's art captures the right feel for the 30s; with great color by Andy Troy. Worst Book was Red Robin #24. I have no idea why I was reading this book, it's not bad, but it's definitely not my kind of book... and the art by Marcus To is technically good, but bland. Cover for this week was Joe Jusko's beautiful painting for Warlord Of Mars #7. Jusko captures exactly what this book is about.Week Of 06/15 has as Best Book Hellblazer #280, Peter Milligan's run keeps delivering,
and while guest artist Gael Bertrand's style is not what I'd prefer, it doesn't disappoint. Trish Mulvihill's colors are probably the main reason why I still felt at home with Bertrand's art. Worst Book this week was Teen Titans #96, wake me up when the whole trip to Hindu hell is over. Cover this week was this simple, yet nice circus poster by Cliff Chiang, for issue one of Flashpoint: Deadman And The Flying Graysons.Best Book for the week of 06/22 is Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
This book never ceases to entertain, David Liss' script for is great, and while Jefte Palo is not Francesco Francavilla, his art sure is up to the task. Worst Book was Superman #712. JMS's utterly boring "Superman walks through America" arc is interrupted by a bland fill-in issue starring Krypto, written by Kurt Busiek. It could have been palatable, if it wasn't for the awful art by Rick Leonardi, who can't draw a human being without a face that looks like it belongs to a Dick Tracy villain. Cover for this week is that beautiful piece by Alex Ross for Rocketeer Adventures #2... would make a great poster.Last week of the month, 06/29, has as Best Book the second to last issue of The Strange Case
of Mr. Hyde, issue #3. I can't stress enough how good this book is, and how it'd be a great TPB gift for people that don't usually read comics. Cole Haddon's script is neither pretentious nor silly; finding a perfect middle road to tell this tale; while MS Corley's art excels at evoking Victorian times, while being agreeable to modern artistic sensibilities. Buy the collected edition for someone when it comes out; or go buy the four issues online or from your friendly local comic book store. Worst Book of the week was Flashpoint: Project Superman #1. It wasn't inherently bad, just bland and uninteresting. Cover of the week is Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #11, by Dan Panosian... not a particularly beautiful cover, but definitely one that grabs your attention.Let's get on with this last column...
<-------------------------------->
"RED THIS COLUMN. OR GREEN IT."
TITLE: The Dissector (Clockwork Chap).
ISSUE: 199.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Sidney noticed that I wrote that I had "red" Action Comics #901. Badge for Sidney... oh, BTW, you can still earn badges come the Dissector's new format, don't fret!
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING."
TITLE: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (DC).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Rob Leigh (letterer).
DISSECTION: In addition to a character being called a "dignitary" during the whole issue, at one point the dialogues are overflowing the balloons. That's a very glaring lettering mistake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?"
TITLE: John Byrne's Next Men (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).
DISSECTION: Byrne calls one of his characters "Antonio", when her name is "Antonia", being a woman. He also writes "sectretarty" instead of "secretary", and while I don't do typos anymore, these two were pretty glaring.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. The book also ends without a "to be continued" notice or anything along those lines, making you wonder if your copy is missing a page.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREIGN NAMES!"
TITLE: Namor: The First Mutant (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Artist Carlos Rodríguez is credited as "Rodrîguez"; a last name that doesn't exist. Paying a little attention to names that are foreign to you is just a matter of respect...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOOK MA! BOTH HANDS!"
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 712.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: For the umpteenth time, a flashback to Superboy's death in Infinite Crisis is shown, and he has both hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SNIFFING PIXIE DUST."
TITLE: X-Men: Prelude To Schism (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 04.
CULPRIT: Will Conrad (penciller) & Lee Loughridge (colorist).
DISSECTION: Regardless of the fact that Namor is wearing his Speedo costume in one page, and then later his current costume; Pixie appears at the end, but she looks nothing like she should. Different wings, different hair, different costume, etc. She looks more like Wasp from The Ultimates.
I still don't understand what this mini was about, really, since it doesn't seem to have anything to do with Schism...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars all around...
<-------------------------------->
Average was 6.4 Bazzars in nine dissections, pretty normal. Now, the Moments Of The Month! From 06/01, Peter Parker geeks out about something more important than anything that's happened in his superhero career:
That's what I like about Dan Slott, he gives Pete his scientific dues (Fred Van Lente does, too). The following week, but from the Ultimate universe, Aunt May shows she's hardcore:
Sadly, she couldn't save Pete. Over at Superman, this is what I meant earlier about Rick Leonardi's art:
Does he think they're all Bizarros? From 06/15, Iron Man's Fear Itself tie-in arc... watch the bottle. Now you see it...
Now you don't, Tony has it! From 06/22, who's able to deflect any insult?
Bladezz! And with just two words... Rocketeer Adventures not only gave us one of the covers of the week, but this moment:
Simply awesome. And to finish this column, a moment from 06/29's "Mr. Hyde":
Accuracy, people, please. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Dissector #199.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
05-04 "Bah! I can travel in both time and relative dimensions in space!" Doctor Dinosaur, Atomic Robo & Others Free Comic Book Day 2011.
05-11 "This is nothing but bullshit! You expect us to believe that he can't get into this school because he hasn't passed English???? That's the worst excuse I've heard in my entire fucking life. What is it? You didn't like his psych test because this moron wrote all that crap about death and Jim Morrison's grave?" La Ranita, Ranitas: Catarsis & Rock N Roll.
05-18 "Tony said he hated the Norse god speech pattern I'd developed and promised to give ten million dollars to charity if I spoke like a normal person again." Thor, Ultimate Avengers Vs. New Ultimates #4.
05-25 "Y'know, there are times I wish Uncle Ben had told me that with great power comes pie..." Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man V1 #662.
And welcome to a new column, this time for the month of May. Last column's DT! was cracked by Captain JohnnyDoe, who noticed that Martian Manhunter is too tall on that cover. Yes, he's a shapeshifter, but still... Let's go to the Picks of the Month:
Cover Of The Week for 05/04 was Chip 'N' Dale Rescue Rangers #6, by James Silvani and Jake Miller; even if the title characters are not in the cover, the other two stars are, and it's the perfect image of what a Rescue Rangers' adventure should be. Best Book for that week was Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art Of Science #5; a perfect ending for a, as usual, great mini from the Robo team. Worst Book was JSA All-Stars #18. Blocky, ugly art that lacks soul, and a bland plot. It's not bad that this book is ending soon. Best Book Of The Week for 05/11 is Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #518, I can't stress enough 
how fun, fast-paced, yet filled with character moments this book by David Liss and Francesco Francavilla is. Worst Book for 05/11 is Justice League Of America V2 #57. It's no secret I've found James Robinson's JLA run boring, and Brett Booth's art, while good, is not enough to save this book. Cover for that week is Patrick Zircher's alternate FF #3 cover with (part of) Wolverine's graphic evolution.
Cover for 05/18 is Alex Ross's cover for Rocketeer Adventures #1... I wouldn't mind having that painting. Best Book of that week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #13. Paul Levitz never fails to deliver, and while I'd prefer that all art was Yildiray Cinar, Jonathan Glapion is not bad as his co-artist. Don't look for groundbreaking comic book storytelling, though, this is just a straight up future superhero romp. Worst Book was X-Men Giant-Size #1... a pointless fight, and a *yawn* ultra-powerful enemy that seeks to eradicate mutants, completely pulled out of nowhere, complete with a flashback to some of Cyclops' repressed memories from when the original five were Xavier's only X-Men. Best Book for 05/25 was issue #2 of The Strange Case of Mr. Hyde. It's a fresh take on the old tale, intertwining it with Jack The Ripper's, newcomer writer Cole Haddon (who comes from the screenwriting and movie j
ournalism fields) spins an entertaining story that sounds at the same time fresh, modern, and Victorian as well. M.S. Corley (who I hadn't heard of before either) delivers great art that fits the story perfectly, enhanced by Jim Campbell's colors; and the whole thing is embellished by Richard Starking & Comicraft's lettering. Is it mind-blowing? No, I wouldn't say so. But it's so neat, so well done, that you can't help but say "man, this is a good comic book". Give it to people who don't usually read comics. Worst Book was Action Comics #901. One of the most boring Super Team Vs. Doomsdays fights I've ever red, Paul Cornell usually writes better things. Plus, why should I care about this book's numbering and history, if they're rewinding everything soon? Meh. Cover for this week is this sweet 70s movie poster style painting by Clayton Crain from Green Lantern V4 #66.
Let's get to those dissections...
<-------------------------------->
"ÖBAMA."
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 901.
CULPRIT: Jesus Merino (artist) & Paul Cornell (writer).
DISSECTION: Current DCU president (shown mostly in Freedom Fighters) is not Obama, nor does he even look like him (he's actually white).
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Plus, it's actually un-DC to have a real-life president (although they've done it before, occasionally).
<-------------------------------->
"THE DYSSECTOR."
TITLE: The Dissector (Clockwork Chap).
ISSUE: 198.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: My apologies to HDSC member Sidney, whose name I spelled as "Sydney" last column. Badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BACK TO THE LEAGUE."
TITLE: JLA V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Mike Miller (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this one, from 2001:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TIME TWIST."
TITLE: Knights Of The Dinner Table: Black Hands 2011 Special (Kenzer & Co.).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jolly Blackburn (writer).
DISSECTION: Weird Pete, Patty, B.A., and Earl are all talking about when Nitro had recently returned from the Marines, fifteen years ago, and Earl says he remembers him as being terrible back then. Only problem is, Earl was introduced in the strip as a new character, transferring from another college to the local university only a few years ago. This doesn't jive even with a fluid timescale (like the one this comic uses), because Earl was specifically introduced as a new guy in town.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"~^?"
TITLE: Namor: The First Mutant (Marvel)
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer)
DISSECTION: Penciller Sergio Ariño gets his name wrong, with a "^" instead of the "~" that the "ñ" should have... and it's halfway over the A and the R...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Double.
<-------------------------------->
"IF I HAD A HAMMER."
TITLE: The New Avengers V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis.
DISSECTION: Given how public it was during Norman Osborn's "Dark Reign", there's absolutely no way anyone, much less a cop, would not know what H.A.M.M.E.R. is or was.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GRILS, GRILS, GRILS."
TITLE: Suicide Girls (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 & 02.
CULPRIT: Unidentified production designer.
DISSECTION: One of the ads at the end says "suiciegirls". I know producing this complete marketing vehicle must sap your enthusiasm, but you can at least write the brand name right, no?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TA-NO-TANTU."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 35.
CULPRIT: Fabrizio Fiorentino (penciller).
DISSECTION: Vixen's powers come from her Tantu totem necklace. So you kind of have to draw it on her, not just a random animal fang necklace.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LET'S JUST SKIP A FEW STEPS IN EVOLUTON."
TITLE: X-Men Giant-Size (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Christopher Yost (penciller) and Paco Medina (penciller).
DISSECTION: "For Homo sapien to live... Australopithecus sediba had to die.", that phrase is full of fail, because Australopithecus weren't even proto-humans, Australopithecine were bipedal and dentally similar to humans, but with a brain size not much larger than modern apes, lacking the encephalization characteristics of the genus Homo. The date is wrong, too, since it says 2.5 million years ago, and A. sediba lived between 1.95 and 1.78 million years ago.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for using the Australopithecine instead of one of the archaic Homo sapiens (such as Homo heidelbergensis, Homo rhodesiensis, or Homo neanderthalensis), 7 for the wrong date.
<-------------------------------->
May, then, has an average of 8.2 Bazzars in ten dissections. Pretty high, but then again, I'm only keeping the most outrageous dissections these days. Let's go with the Moments Of The Month. First, from 05/04's issue of Atomic Robo, Tesla has a real "war of the currents" with Edison:
If you know me, you know this is fan service for me. Thank you, Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegener! Next, more from the same issue:
The real reason behind alternating current! More Atomic Robo, from the 2011 Free Comic Book Day Special, we learn how Dr. Dinosaur gets his guns:
Moving on to the next week, what's a good idea to have Batman everywhere?
Well, it's certainly NOT bat-robots, Bruce! Of course, what can we expect from...
... an internet troll? Now, from a Uruguayan comic, Ranitas: Catarsis & Rock N Roll, the stuff we do as drunken teenagers:
I didn't do THAT exactly, and I was a pretty nerdy guy who went out dancing and drinking very little... but I did a few stupid things while drunk, so I smile at this from a "yeah, I know" viewpoint. Week of 05/18 brought me some Quislet action over in LSH:
And it's almost as if the book had been written for me:
Good one. Now, more fan service, even if I don't like this artist, is having Lockheed meet up with Kitty Pryde in Astonishing X-Men:
That didn't go to well... or did it?
Guns! Big guns! You know who knows his place in the universe? Paladin:
He keeps it real. More Uruguayan stuff, from Orange Shaft, you shouldn't try to mug the wrong guy:
Believe me, this one of the tamest scenes in the whole book. You should see what Orange Shaft does to a guy's testicles with an arrow... Now, from 05/25, what do Donald's famous nephews do when they're not out adventuring?
They adventure some more! And to finish the column, John Stewart goes Death Star:
Again. Man, poor Mogo. I mean, we know he doesn't socialize, but that's no reason to do that to him That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
05-04 "Bah! I can travel in both time and relative dimensions in space!" Doctor Dinosaur, Atomic Robo & Others Free Comic Book Day 2011.
05-11 "This is nothing but bullshit! You expect us to believe that he can't get into this school because he hasn't passed English???? That's the worst excuse I've heard in my entire fucking life. What is it? You didn't like his psych test because this moron wrote all that crap about death and Jim Morrison's grave?" La Ranita, Ranitas: Catarsis & Rock N Roll.
05-18 "Tony said he hated the Norse god speech pattern I'd developed and promised to give ten million dollars to charity if I spoke like a normal person again." Thor, Ultimate Avengers Vs. New Ultimates #4.
05-25 "Y'know, there are times I wish Uncle Ben had told me that with great power comes pie..." Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man V1 #662.
And welcome to a new column, this time for the month of May. Last column's DT! was cracked by Captain JohnnyDoe, who noticed that Martian Manhunter is too tall on that cover. Yes, he's a shapeshifter, but still... Let's go to the Picks of the Month:
Cover Of The Week for 05/04 was Chip 'N' Dale Rescue Rangers #6, by James Silvani and Jake Miller; even if the title characters are not in the cover, the other two stars are, and it's the perfect image of what a Rescue Rangers' adventure should be. Best Book for that week was Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art Of Science #5; a perfect ending for a, as usual, great mini from the Robo team. Worst Book was JSA All-Stars #18. Blocky, ugly art that lacks soul, and a bland plot. It's not bad that this book is ending soon. Best Book Of The Week for 05/11 is Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #518, I can't stress enough 
how fun, fast-paced, yet filled with character moments this book by David Liss and Francesco Francavilla is. Worst Book for 05/11 is Justice League Of America V2 #57. It's no secret I've found James Robinson's JLA run boring, and Brett Booth's art, while good, is not enough to save this book. Cover for that week is Patrick Zircher's alternate FF #3 cover with (part of) Wolverine's graphic evolution.
Cover for 05/18 is Alex Ross's cover for Rocketeer Adventures #1... I wouldn't mind having that painting. Best Book of that week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #13. Paul Levitz never fails to deliver, and while I'd prefer that all art was Yildiray Cinar, Jonathan Glapion is not bad as his co-artist. Don't look for groundbreaking comic book storytelling, though, this is just a straight up future superhero romp. Worst Book was X-Men Giant-Size #1... a pointless fight, and a *yawn* ultra-powerful enemy that seeks to eradicate mutants, completely pulled out of nowhere, complete with a flashback to some of Cyclops' repressed memories from when the original five were Xavier's only X-Men. Best Book for 05/25 was issue #2 of The Strange Case of Mr. Hyde. It's a fresh take on the old tale, intertwining it with Jack The Ripper's, newcomer writer Cole Haddon (who comes from the screenwriting and movie j
ournalism fields) spins an entertaining story that sounds at the same time fresh, modern, and Victorian as well. M.S. Corley (who I hadn't heard of before either) delivers great art that fits the story perfectly, enhanced by Jim Campbell's colors; and the whole thing is embellished by Richard Starking & Comicraft's lettering. Is it mind-blowing? No, I wouldn't say so. But it's so neat, so well done, that you can't help but say "man, this is a good comic book". Give it to people who don't usually read comics. Worst Book was Action Comics #901. One of the most boring Super Team Vs. Doomsdays fights I've ever red, Paul Cornell usually writes better things. Plus, why should I care about this book's numbering and history, if they're rewinding everything soon? Meh. Cover for this week is this sweet 70s movie poster style painting by Clayton Crain from Green Lantern V4 #66.Let's get to those dissections...
<-------------------------------->
"ÖBAMA."
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 901.
CULPRIT: Jesus Merino (artist) & Paul Cornell (writer).
DISSECTION: Current DCU president (shown mostly in Freedom Fighters) is not Obama, nor does he even look like him (he's actually white).
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Plus, it's actually un-DC to have a real-life president (although they've done it before, occasionally).
<-------------------------------->
"THE DYSSECTOR."
TITLE: The Dissector (Clockwork Chap).
ISSUE: 198.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: My apologies to HDSC member Sidney, whose name I spelled as "Sydney" last column. Badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BACK TO THE LEAGUE."
TITLE: JLA V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Mike Miller (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this one, from 2001:
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TIME TWIST."
TITLE: Knights Of The Dinner Table: Black Hands 2011 Special (Kenzer & Co.).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jolly Blackburn (writer).
DISSECTION: Weird Pete, Patty, B.A., and Earl are all talking about when Nitro had recently returned from the Marines, fifteen years ago, and Earl says he remembers him as being terrible back then. Only problem is, Earl was introduced in the strip as a new character, transferring from another college to the local university only a few years ago. This doesn't jive even with a fluid timescale (like the one this comic uses), because Earl was specifically introduced as a new guy in town.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"~^?"
TITLE: Namor: The First Mutant (Marvel)
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer)
DISSECTION: Penciller Sergio Ariño gets his name wrong, with a "^" instead of the "~" that the "ñ" should have... and it's halfway over the A and the R...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Double.
<-------------------------------->
"IF I HAD A HAMMER."
TITLE: The New Avengers V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis.
DISSECTION: Given how public it was during Norman Osborn's "Dark Reign", there's absolutely no way anyone, much less a cop, would not know what H.A.M.M.E.R. is or was.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GRILS, GRILS, GRILS."
TITLE: Suicide Girls (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 & 02.
CULPRIT: Unidentified production designer.
DISSECTION: One of the ads at the end says "suiciegirls". I know producing this complete marketing vehicle must sap your enthusiasm, but you can at least write the brand name right, no?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TA-NO-TANTU."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 35.
CULPRIT: Fabrizio Fiorentino (penciller).
DISSECTION: Vixen's powers come from her Tantu totem necklace. So you kind of have to draw it on her, not just a random animal fang necklace.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LET'S JUST SKIP A FEW STEPS IN EVOLUTON."
TITLE: X-Men Giant-Size (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Christopher Yost (penciller) and Paco Medina (penciller).
DISSECTION: "For Homo sapien to live... Australopithecus sediba had to die.", that phrase is full of fail, because Australopithecus weren't even proto-humans, Australopithecine were bipedal and dentally similar to humans, but with a brain size not much larger than modern apes, lacking the encephalization characteristics of the genus Homo. The date is wrong, too, since it says 2.5 million years ago, and A. sediba lived between 1.95 and 1.78 million years ago.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for using the Australopithecine instead of one of the archaic Homo sapiens (such as Homo heidelbergensis, Homo rhodesiensis, or Homo neanderthalensis), 7 for the wrong date.
<-------------------------------->
May, then, has an average of 8.2 Bazzars in ten dissections. Pretty high, but then again, I'm only keeping the most outrageous dissections these days. Let's go with the Moments Of The Month. First, from 05/04's issue of Atomic Robo, Tesla has a real "war of the currents" with Edison:
If you know me, you know this is fan service for me. Thank you, Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegener! Next, more from the same issue:
The real reason behind alternating current! More Atomic Robo, from the 2011 Free Comic Book Day Special, we learn how Dr. Dinosaur gets his guns:
Moving on to the next week, what's a good idea to have Batman everywhere?
Well, it's certainly NOT bat-robots, Bruce! Of course, what can we expect from...
... an internet troll? Now, from a Uruguayan comic, Ranitas: Catarsis & Rock N Roll, the stuff we do as drunken teenagers:
I didn't do THAT exactly, and I was a pretty nerdy guy who went out dancing and drinking very little... but I did a few stupid things while drunk, so I smile at this from a "yeah, I know" viewpoint. Week of 05/18 brought me some Quislet action over in LSH:
And it's almost as if the book had been written for me:
Good one. Now, more fan service, even if I don't like this artist, is having Lockheed meet up with Kitty Pryde in Astonishing X-Men:
That didn't go to well... or did it?
Guns! Big guns! You know who knows his place in the universe? Paladin:
He keeps it real. More Uruguayan stuff, from Orange Shaft, you shouldn't try to mug the wrong guy:
Believe me, this one of the tamest scenes in the whole book. You should see what Orange Shaft does to a guy's testicles with an arrow... Now, from 05/25, what do Donald's famous nephews do when they're not out adventuring?
They adventure some more! And to finish the column, John Stewart goes Death Star:
Again. Man, poor Mogo. I mean, we know he doesn't socialize, but that's no reason to do that to him That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
While I prepare the column with the last three weeks of February (yes, I'm AWFULLY late, I know), here's The Rundown for those weeks: Abyss: Family Issues (accented letter), Adventure Comics V1 (Night Girl's hair should be black, not brown), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (ñ, a loose quotation mark), Astonishing X-Men: Xenogenesis (Beast looks wrong, Storm's eyes are not white when she's not using her powers, Jaspers is no "boy" or "adolescent"), Astonishing X-Men V2 ("past" ancestors... how do you get "future ancestors"? Well, this IS Marvel...), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit and upcoming features lettering), B.P.R.D. Hell On Earth: Gods (internal issue numbering), Batman (Enigma's eyes and Riddler's hair are colored incorrectly), Birds Of Prey V3 (Dove's agility is not mentioned in her powers), Booster Gold V2 (Rip Hunter's eyes and hair are wrong), Brightest Day (Aqualad shouldn't have calf fins), Captain America V2 (Black Widow's eyes should be green), DC Universe: Legacies (the effin' timeline; Spark gets called "Spark" and then "Sparks", Hal's badge is wrong, and his boots are white on another page), Doom Patrol V5 (Rita's eyes are colored incorrectly, two different word balloons point to wrong characters, Scandal's eye are also miscolored), Fantastic Four V1 (Danielle Cage should not look like she's three months old), Generation Hope (Shadowcat's eyes shouldn't be blue, Gabriel's eyes are brown first, then blue), Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (badges), Green Lantern Corps V2 (Ganthet has blank eyes at one point... for no reason), Heroes For Hire V3 (Baby Cage again, "personalitied" is not a real word), Iron Siege (if you use translation brackets, don't leave untranslated words inside... and a Sergeant would never be the "CO" of a military unit... in charge, yes, but never "CO", and the unit is too small to be just the "101st Airborne"), Justice League: Generation Lost (Guy Gardner's eyes are wrong), Justice League Of America V2 ("Los Grandes Nombres" is not the right translation for "The Big Names"), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (Dawnstar's skin, eyes and powers), Namor: The First Mutant (Doom's eyes are colored wrong, so are Namor's, some Atlanteans have red eyes for no reason, and the logomancer is still Caucasian, with no explanation), The New Avengers V2 (Wanda's eyes should be blue, inconsistent credit lettering), Onslaught Unleashed (Beast looks wrong, accented letter), Outsiders V3 (Grace and Geo-Force have the wrong eye colors), Power Man And Iron Fist (numerous language errors, both in writing and lettering, an incorrect description of Power Man's power), Red Robin (accented letters), Spider-Girl V2 (Anya's skin should not be dark), Star Wars: Legacy - War (an incorrectly italicized word, an incorrectly spelled word in Huttese), T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents (two accents that are almost horizontal lines), Teen Titans V3 (a misplaced question mark), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cairo looks nothing like it does here, Tony Stark's eyes are colored incorrectly), Uncanny X-Force (Wolverine's eyes should be blue), Uncanny X-Men (accented letter), The Unwritten (accented letters), Warlord Of Mars (it's either "Uncle Jack" or "Captain John", not "Captain Jack", and "the" is spelled "they" in a text), Widowmaker (wrong eye color for the former Red Guardian, and the first issue of Blind Spot is announced for the wrong date), X-Factor V3 (Layla and Madrox's eyes are colored incorrectly, and Layla calls Madrox her "fiancée" at one point, accented letter), X-Men: To Serve And Protect (accented letter), X-Men Legacy (accented letters).
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Dissector #192.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Did I ever tell you the story of how I stormed the beach at Normandy? I was late by a year or so, but I stormed it solo. Then walked up a hill into a small French village. I entered a bakery and a Frenchwoman gave me a croissant. And then I left. (...) Come to think of it, I did bang her in a haystack later. Dammit, now I want a croissant." Grandpa Vork, The Guild: Vork.
Welcome to the last column of the year! Not the last column about 2010 comics (this one is for books released on 12/22), because we have the last batch of books of the year coming out today, and we'll have the Autopsy Awards next year. Let's get this one over with as quickly as possible... I'm not taking any vacations from the column, however, so I'll see you next week. Last column's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe, who correctly pointed out that Superboy's right hand should have been missing, since he lost it in the fight with Superboy Prime (and that's the way it was in the original panel in Infinite Crisis). Badge for JD!
I know this cover isn't very flashy, but Gilbert Hernández’s alternate cover for The Guild: Vork perfectly illustrates the sadness of Vork's life. Haven't seen The Guild? Go watch it, I find MMORPGs boring, but the show was still funny to me. The rest of The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #8; even with small mistakes, Paul Levitz is still a good writer (unlike other, unfortunate examples), and this time Yildiray Cinar's pencils didn't suffer as much from Daniel HDR's intrusion (when is Cinar going to pick up full pencilling of the book again?), making for a solid, if not extraordinary book... but this is one of my favorite teams, so in a week devoid of any other book that stood out, it gets best book. Worst Book Of The Week was Teen Titans: Cold Case... not horrible, but it had some subpar writing, and the art was uninspired and too cartoony for my tastes.
The Rundown: Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Bruce's chest emblem is wrong, the Penguin shouldn't have pointed ears in comics), Chaos War: Dead Avengers (wrong Spanish), DC Universe: Legacies (the fucking timeline, Batman's costume color is wrong), Green Lantern: Larfleeze Christmas Special (GL badges), Green Lantern Corps V2 (badges and masks), Justice League: Generation Lost (bad Portuguese), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's belt and emblem, and another reference to him not being used to big cosmic battles... he fucking lead the Titans against Trigon like two thousand times...), Outsiders V4 (Katana shouldn't have blue eyes, she's Japanese... and I'm being generous on the topic of her skin color), Power Girl V2 (they don't see Max Lord in a surveillance cam, they see a random man, but they answer they don't see a man on the screen? and Dick's emblem again), Secret Avengers (inconsistent roster lettering), Star Wars: Invasion - Rescues (once more, New Jedi Order is not about Luke Skywalker's descendants, that's Legacy), Uncanny X-Men (physiognomies, again), Warlord Of Mars (am I supposed to believe that a US Civil War Captain knows about gravity and how it would affect him in Mars? there's also an incomplete sentence in the post-comic diary), X-Men V3 (Wolverine's eyes are brown, then blue; the whole Jubilee's vampirism as incurable thing is ignoring Spitfire, who's also Blade's girlfriend).
<-------------------------------->
"UNDER PRESSURE."
TITLE: Batman Incorporated (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Grant Morrison (writer).
DISSECTION: Atlantean crown jewels can't, according to Bruce Wayne, withstand pressures "above 1000 atmospheres", since they were obviously crafted under water, at enormous depths... don't you mean "below 1000 atmospheres", Bruce? Considering we live at one atmosphere...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GIGI."
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Science Police member Gigi Cusimano was Legion/SP liaison for years, plus she dated Legionnaires (at least Sun Boy, and Colossal Boy when he wasn't yet a Legionnaire), she's friends with the Legion... how could she not know Wildfire's natural state is energy?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Colossal Boy's eyes are colored correctly, then incorrectly, he shouldn't be surprised at a Durlan growing (since Cham has done it in the past, right in front of him, too), and Dawnstar's powers are still listed incompletely. Levitz is a great writer, he still has the skills, but sometimes it seems he's phoning it in...
<-------------------------------->
"CHILL."
TITLE: Teen Titans: Cold Case (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer).
DISSECTION: Check this one, tell me what you see:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT IF?"
TITLE: What If? Dark Reign (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jason Henderson (writer).
DISSECTION: A reporter protests on how "we bailed on registration"... but they didn't, the whole point of Dark Reign was that registration continued under Norman Osborn's watch.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
So, the last column of the year ends up with a 6.3 Bazzars average in thirty-six dissections. The very definition of "standard" around these parts. Now, we only have two Moments Of The Week, and they're both complaints. Batman, Inc. is a good concept, but I believe it's stupid for Bruce Wayne to reveal he's behind Batman, particularly when he a) still runs around inside a Batman costume, b) his three closest costumed associates are his children (two adoptive and one biological), c) those three sons are the exact heights and builds as the other Batman, Red Robin, and Robin and he paraded them in front of the press even if Damian hadn't been introduced to the public, and d) half of Gotham's population might suspect him of being Batman anyway. Add on top of that the fact that he's going around the world fronting Batman, Inc. and dealing with foreign governments and police departments, behaving in ways that completely throw overboard his playboy persona, and it's like he doesn't care if his cover is blown... Wait, maybe he just gave up on hiding it altogether! Of course, he has protection, so do his friends and associates... man, what a great moment to be a random employee of Wayne Enterprises!!!
But I actually wanted to focus on the "Batmen" that will be posted around the world. Obviously, Knight will be the UK's, I guess Gaucho (appearing in next issue) will be Argentina's (and by extension, Uruguay's, since we probably don't merit Bruce's attention)... but I thought we had more than enough with two actual Batmen... Then why is Night Runner (France) wearing this after being recruited?
Ah, well, it's only a Bat emblem, and one that's radically different from the Batmen's... in fact, he's not even wearing Bat-ears, or spiked gloves. Well, at least Night Runner isn't...
... that's Batman Japan. I don't know if it's actually "Batman Japan" or "Batman" Japan; but that's the guy who'll work for Bruce in Japan. He's the former Mr. Unknown; more precisely his stand-in, since the original Mr. Unknown was too old for any combat or acrobatics and just did the detective work. A Batman Beyond approach for a city that already looks a lot like the future. But now, after Mr. Unknown's death, he's been recruited as the Japan representative of Batman, Inc.... WHICH APPARENTLY MEANS HE HAS TO WEAR A FUCKING BATMAN COSTUME AND ACTUALLY CALL HIMSELF BATMAN!!!! NO!!! NO!!!!! NOOOOO!!! MORRISON YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!!! DESIGN HIM A FUCKING NEW IDENTITY, BAT-INSPIRED IF YOU WANT, BUT DON'T MAKE HIM AN ACTUAL BATMAN!!!!
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Did I ever tell you the story of how I stormed the beach at Normandy? I was late by a year or so, but I stormed it solo. Then walked up a hill into a small French village. I entered a bakery and a Frenchwoman gave me a croissant. And then I left. (...) Come to think of it, I did bang her in a haystack later. Dammit, now I want a croissant." Grandpa Vork, The Guild: Vork.
Welcome to the last column of the year! Not the last column about 2010 comics (this one is for books released on 12/22), because we have the last batch of books of the year coming out today, and we'll have the Autopsy Awards next year. Let's get this one over with as quickly as possible... I'm not taking any vacations from the column, however, so I'll see you next week. Last column's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe, who correctly pointed out that Superboy's right hand should have been missing, since he lost it in the fight with Superboy Prime (and that's the way it was in the original panel in Infinite Crisis). Badge for JD!
I know this cover isn't very flashy, but Gilbert Hernández’s alternate cover for The Guild: Vork perfectly illustrates the sadness of Vork's life. Haven't seen The Guild? Go watch it, I find MMORPGs boring, but the show was still funny to me. The rest of The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #8; even with small mistakes, Paul Levitz is still a good writer (unlike other, unfortunate examples), and this time Yildiray Cinar's pencils didn't suffer as much from Daniel HDR's intrusion (when is Cinar going to pick up full pencilling of the book again?), making for a solid, if not extraordinary book... but this is one of my favorite teams, so in a week devoid of any other book that stood out, it gets best book. Worst Book Of The Week was Teen Titans: Cold Case... not horrible, but it had some subpar writing, and the art was uninspired and too cartoony for my tastes.The Rundown: Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Bruce's chest emblem is wrong, the Penguin shouldn't have pointed ears in comics), Chaos War: Dead Avengers (wrong Spanish), DC Universe: Legacies (the fucking timeline, Batman's costume color is wrong), Green Lantern: Larfleeze Christmas Special (GL badges), Green Lantern Corps V2 (badges and masks), Justice League: Generation Lost (bad Portuguese), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's belt and emblem, and another reference to him not being used to big cosmic battles... he fucking lead the Titans against Trigon like two thousand times...), Outsiders V4 (Katana shouldn't have blue eyes, she's Japanese... and I'm being generous on the topic of her skin color), Power Girl V2 (they don't see Max Lord in a surveillance cam, they see a random man, but they answer they don't see a man on the screen? and Dick's emblem again), Secret Avengers (inconsistent roster lettering), Star Wars: Invasion - Rescues (once more, New Jedi Order is not about Luke Skywalker's descendants, that's Legacy), Uncanny X-Men (physiognomies, again), Warlord Of Mars (am I supposed to believe that a US Civil War Captain knows about gravity and how it would affect him in Mars? there's also an incomplete sentence in the post-comic diary), X-Men V3 (Wolverine's eyes are brown, then blue; the whole Jubilee's vampirism as incurable thing is ignoring Spitfire, who's also Blade's girlfriend).
<-------------------------------->
"UNDER PRESSURE."
TITLE: Batman Incorporated (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Grant Morrison (writer).
DISSECTION: Atlantean crown jewels can't, according to Bruce Wayne, withstand pressures "above 1000 atmospheres", since they were obviously crafted under water, at enormous depths... don't you mean "below 1000 atmospheres", Bruce? Considering we live at one atmosphere...
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GIGI."
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Science Police member Gigi Cusimano was Legion/SP liaison for years, plus she dated Legionnaires (at least Sun Boy, and Colossal Boy when he wasn't yet a Legionnaire), she's friends with the Legion... how could she not know Wildfire's natural state is energy?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Colossal Boy's eyes are colored correctly, then incorrectly, he shouldn't be surprised at a Durlan growing (since Cham has done it in the past, right in front of him, too), and Dawnstar's powers are still listed incompletely. Levitz is a great writer, he still has the skills, but sometimes it seems he's phoning it in...
<-------------------------------->
"CHILL."
TITLE: Teen Titans: Cold Case (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer).
DISSECTION: Check this one, tell me what you see:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT IF?"
TITLE: What If? Dark Reign (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jason Henderson (writer).
DISSECTION: A reporter protests on how "we bailed on registration"... but they didn't, the whole point of Dark Reign was that registration continued under Norman Osborn's watch.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
So, the last column of the year ends up with a 6.3 Bazzars average in thirty-six dissections. The very definition of "standard" around these parts. Now, we only have two Moments Of The Week, and they're both complaints. Batman, Inc. is a good concept, but I believe it's stupid for Bruce Wayne to reveal he's behind Batman, particularly when he a) still runs around inside a Batman costume, b) his three closest costumed associates are his children (two adoptive and one biological), c) those three sons are the exact heights and builds as the other Batman, Red Robin, and Robin and he paraded them in front of the press even if Damian hadn't been introduced to the public, and d) half of Gotham's population might suspect him of being Batman anyway. Add on top of that the fact that he's going around the world fronting Batman, Inc. and dealing with foreign governments and police departments, behaving in ways that completely throw overboard his playboy persona, and it's like he doesn't care if his cover is blown... Wait, maybe he just gave up on hiding it altogether! Of course, he has protection, so do his friends and associates... man, what a great moment to be a random employee of Wayne Enterprises!!!
But I actually wanted to focus on the "Batmen" that will be posted around the world. Obviously, Knight will be the UK's, I guess Gaucho (appearing in next issue) will be Argentina's (and by extension, Uruguay's, since we probably don't merit Bruce's attention)... but I thought we had more than enough with two actual Batmen... Then why is Night Runner (France) wearing this after being recruited?
Ah, well, it's only a Bat emblem, and one that's radically different from the Batmen's... in fact, he's not even wearing Bat-ears, or spiked gloves. Well, at least Night Runner isn't...
... that's Batman Japan. I don't know if it's actually "Batman Japan" or "Batman" Japan; but that's the guy who'll work for Bruce in Japan. He's the former Mr. Unknown; more precisely his stand-in, since the original Mr. Unknown was too old for any combat or acrobatics and just did the detective work. A Batman Beyond approach for a city that already looks a lot like the future. But now, after Mr. Unknown's death, he's been recruited as the Japan representative of Batman, Inc.... WHICH APPARENTLY MEANS HE HAS TO WEAR A FUCKING BATMAN COSTUME AND ACTUALLY CALL HIMSELF BATMAN!!!! NO!!! NO!!!!! NOOOOO!!! MORRISON YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!!! DESIGN HIM A FUCKING NEW IDENTITY, BAT-INSPIRED IF YOU WANT, BUT DON'T MAKE HIM AN ACTUAL BATMAN!!!!
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
PS: Oh, and happy New Year to everyone!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Dissector #191.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I wear pants because it's the law." Atomic Robo, Atomic Robo & The Deadly Art Of Science #2.
Second-to-last column of the year? Maybe! This is for books released on 12/15, and I might be able to finish the column for 12/22 books in time before the end of the year, but there's no way I can read all 12/29 books in time, much less write that column... but it should be out by the end of next week, and after that I'll post the Autopsy Award nominations. Speaking of Autopsy Awards, remember you can make nominations (copy/paste from a previous column:
Back to this column, last column's DT wasn't cracked. JohnnyDoe got close by saying that they have "Cerebro" and not "Cerebra", but that wasn't quite it. The X-Men's mutant locator has been called "Cerebra" for quite a while, but if Rogue wanted to refer to it, she shouldn't say "the original", because the original was "Cerebro". It's like saying "we've got the original New Coke"... Yes, it's a nuance... it's semantically correct, since they do have the first "Cerebra", but the original machine that fulfills that role is "Cerebro", and therefore, the only one that should be called "original".
Now, look at this very nice variant cover from Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #513, by Francesco Francavilla... very Kirby meets Frank Miller. Speaking of The Dissector's Picks Of The Week, Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #513 is Best Book Of The Week. While I don't agree with characters taking over the numbering of someone else's books (like Hercules taking over Incredible Hulk, or this, with Black Panther taking over Daredevil... are these issues going to count toward Daredevil's #600 issue?), I must admit that this was a great start for this run. David Liss, who has very little in the way of comic book credits (a Phantom Reporter special for Marvel's 70th anniversary line, and this very comic), has a considerable body of work in prose fiction, mostly historical-mystery novels... but he manages to make this "set-up issue" as enjoyable as any comic book pro's "full gear" run. Yes, his villain is kind of stereotypical, but this is a superhero comic, what do you expect? Add Francesco Francavilla's pulp-style art (pencils, inks, and colors), and you get a mixture of explosive Jack Kirby action and noir Frank Miller ambience... which is what you'd expect from a book where the Black Panther takes over Daredevil's job as protector of Hell's Kitchen. Go read it. Worst Book Of The Week was Superman #706... as much as G. Willow Wilson impressed me with "Air", her Superman issues are worthless. Stilted dialogue and mischaracterization make for bad stories... Perry White completely out of touch with the internet? Doubtful. Superman saying that he's "scared by the internet"? What?!? Add mediocre art by Amilcar Pinna and oddly phosphorescent colors by Rod Reis (who usually does good work), and you get a very bad comic which gives credence to those who say that Superman comics are boring and unattractive.
The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (why doesn't Peter show any wounds from his fight with Hobgoblin, only seconds after, and an accented letter), Batman (Riddler's hair should be black, Enigma's eyes should be blue), Black Panther: The Man Without Fear (bad Romanian dialogue, accented letter), Brightest Day (Mera shouldn't have flipper feet), Captain America: Man Out of Time (Rick Jones was recently shown to be a hacker and anti-authority paranoid, why does he not know what an APB is?), Green Lantern/Plastic Man: Weapons Of Mass Deception (numerous costume design and other errors), Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (Kilowog and Guy get incorrect badges), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering), New Mutants Forever (ANDES! FUCKING ANDES!!!! Plus, Storm's eyes should not be white when she's not using her powers), Titans V2 (bad Italian and Portuguese), Velocity V2 ("replace" instead of "replaced"), What If? The Amazing Spider-Man: Grim Hunt (small ñ), X-Factor V3 (Shatterstar's eyes should be blue, not green).
<-------------------------------->
"THEM DRAWING MONKEYS."
TITLE: Avengers Academy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Rachel Pinnelas (assistant editor), John Denning (assistant editor), and Bill Rosemann (editor).
DISSECTION: Tom Raney pencilled this issue, but regular penciller Mike McKone gets credited for it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DOVE ASK, DOVE TELL."
TITLE: Birds Of Prey V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Gail Simone (writer).
DISSECTION: Dove's powers are listed, but many of her powers (such as one of her more visually distinctive ones, her enhanced agility) are missing, in exchange of shit like "she is the consciousness of the superhero community", when most heroes don't even have contact with her...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DAS FAIL."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 190.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Donald313 doesn't rest, and he points out that the plural of "Glückwunsch" is "Glückwünsche".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RETRO DT!"
TITLE: Outsiders V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 45.
CULPRIT: Carlo Barberi (penciller).
DISSECTION: From The Vault, this an old pet peeve of mine, old readers might remember.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"VANISHING SENSE."
TITLE: Time Masters: Vanishing Point (DC).
ISSUE: 05 Of 6.
CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer).
DISSECTION: Two powerful sorcerers scour all of time to find the most powerful weapon in the universe and then decide to steal one of the first atom bombs? What? Not to mention they had a Green Lantern captive...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside, as is his ring, and he's even missing his ring altogether in one page.
<-------------------------------->
With a 6.9 Bazzars average in thirty-eight dissections, we get a "high among normal" average rating for this week. Now, Moments Of The Week... from G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, Cobra's sophisticated torture methods:
Amazing... and look who's back in Green Lantern:
Oh, shit... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I wear pants because it's the law." Atomic Robo, Atomic Robo & The Deadly Art Of Science #2.
Second-to-last column of the year? Maybe! This is for books released on 12/15, and I might be able to finish the column for 12/22 books in time before the end of the year, but there's no way I can read all 12/29 books in time, much less write that column... but it should be out by the end of next week, and after that I'll post the Autopsy Award nominations. Speaking of Autopsy Awards, remember you can make nominations (copy/paste from a previous column:
"As you might now (and if you don't, you can read the first, second, and third editions of the awards), some awards are selected by reader votes from several nominations I select from the year's columns; such as Best Writing Dissection, Best Art Dissection, Best Quote, or Best Cover. Then there are awards that are given based solely on number of dissections, like Company With Most Dissections, Most Dissected Writer, or Single Issue With Most Dissections.
But there are also special awards, given for specific circumstances, for merit or lack of it. For example, I will probably select myself things like Breakout Book Of The Year, or Best Character Of The Year; but I will accept suggestions for awards that I might not think of myself; or even within categories used in previous years. For example, in the first awards, Cyclone (from the JSA) won an award for not having her costume depicted correctly in any of her appearances after her first one. That award has gone one to be called the "Cyclone Fashion Award To The Most Mutable Costume", and was won by Una in the second edition of the awards, and was expanded in the following edition to cover any character alteration, going to Norman Osborn's eyes, for changing contacts all the time (basically EVERY Marvel book during Secret Invasion and Dark Reign).
Then, within the same special awards, we have stuff like the "Creator That I'm Sorry I Have To Dissect Award", for people whose sheer volume of work makes it likely they slip up and I notice it, but they obviously very much care about their work, and on top of that, are nice people. Or the "Bloody Stumps With Blunt Crayolas Award", for underachievement in art; or the "Worst Character Depiction Although You Obviously Have Talent Award" for instances in which it's readily noticeable that an artist has a lot of talent, but (for example) decides to make Beast look like a humanoid goat, for example. And finally, there's the "Golden Bonesaw Award", for catastrophic underachievement, taken home in 2007 by Marvel for the many shapes of Beast, in 2008 by the Blue Beetle issue in Spanish, and in 2009 by IDW and their Zorro book for their year-long raping of the Spanish language. I will probably choose this one myself, but I welcome suggestions too."
Back to this column, last column's DT wasn't cracked. JohnnyDoe got close by saying that they have "Cerebro" and not "Cerebra", but that wasn't quite it. The X-Men's mutant locator has been called "Cerebra" for quite a while, but if Rogue wanted to refer to it, she shouldn't say "the original", because the original was "Cerebro". It's like saying "we've got the original New Coke"... Yes, it's a nuance... it's semantically correct, since they do have the first "Cerebra", but the original machine that fulfills that role is "Cerebro", and therefore, the only one that should be called "original".
Now, look at this very nice variant cover from Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #513, by Francesco Francavilla... very Kirby meets Frank Miller. Speaking of The Dissector's Picks Of The Week, Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #513 is Best Book Of The Week. While I don't agree with characters taking over the numbering of someone else's books (like Hercules taking over Incredible Hulk, or this, with Black Panther taking over Daredevil... are these issues going to count toward Daredevil's #600 issue?), I must admit that this was a great start for this run. David Liss, who has very little in the way of comic book credits (a Phantom Reporter special for Marvel's 70th anniversary line, and this very comic), has a considerable body of work in prose fiction, mostly historical-mystery novels... but he manages to make this "set-up issue" as enjoyable as any comic book pro's "full gear" run. Yes, his villain is kind of stereotypical, but this is a superhero comic, what do you expect? Add Francesco Francavilla's pulp-style art (pencils, inks, and colors), and you get a mixture of explosive Jack Kirby action and noir Frank Miller ambience... which is what you'd expect from a book where the Black Panther takes over Daredevil's job as protector of Hell's Kitchen. Go read it. Worst Book Of The Week was Superman #706... as much as G. Willow Wilson impressed me with "Air", her Superman issues are worthless. Stilted dialogue and mischaracterization make for bad stories... Perry White completely out of touch with the internet? Doubtful. Superman saying that he's "scared by the internet"? What?!? Add mediocre art by Amilcar Pinna and oddly phosphorescent colors by Rod Reis (who usually does good work), and you get a very bad comic which gives credence to those who say that Superman comics are boring and unattractive.The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (why doesn't Peter show any wounds from his fight with Hobgoblin, only seconds after, and an accented letter), Batman (Riddler's hair should be black, Enigma's eyes should be blue), Black Panther: The Man Without Fear (bad Romanian dialogue, accented letter), Brightest Day (Mera shouldn't have flipper feet), Captain America: Man Out of Time (Rick Jones was recently shown to be a hacker and anti-authority paranoid, why does he not know what an APB is?), Green Lantern/Plastic Man: Weapons Of Mass Deception (numerous costume design and other errors), Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (Kilowog and Guy get incorrect badges), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering), New Mutants Forever (ANDES! FUCKING ANDES!!!! Plus, Storm's eyes should not be white when she's not using her powers), Titans V2 (bad Italian and Portuguese), Velocity V2 ("replace" instead of "replaced"), What If? The Amazing Spider-Man: Grim Hunt (small ñ), X-Factor V3 (Shatterstar's eyes should be blue, not green).
<-------------------------------->
"THEM DRAWING MONKEYS."
TITLE: Avengers Academy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Rachel Pinnelas (assistant editor), John Denning (assistant editor), and Bill Rosemann (editor).
DISSECTION: Tom Raney pencilled this issue, but regular penciller Mike McKone gets credited for it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DOVE ASK, DOVE TELL."
TITLE: Birds Of Prey V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Gail Simone (writer).
DISSECTION: Dove's powers are listed, but many of her powers (such as one of her more visually distinctive ones, her enhanced agility) are missing, in exchange of shit like "she is the consciousness of the superhero community", when most heroes don't even have contact with her...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DAS FAIL."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 190.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Donald313 doesn't rest, and he points out that the plural of "Glückwunsch" is "Glückwünsche".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"RETRO DT!"
TITLE: Outsiders V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 45.
CULPRIT: Carlo Barberi (penciller).
DISSECTION: From The Vault, this an old pet peeve of mine, old readers might remember.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"VANISHING SENSE."
TITLE: Time Masters: Vanishing Point (DC).
ISSUE: 05 Of 6.
CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer).
DISSECTION: Two powerful sorcerers scour all of time to find the most powerful weapon in the universe and then decide to steal one of the first atom bombs? What? Not to mention they had a Green Lantern captive...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside, as is his ring, and he's even missing his ring altogether in one page.
<-------------------------------->
With a 6.9 Bazzars average in thirty-eight dissections, we get a "high among normal" average rating for this week. Now, Moments Of The Week... from G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, Cobra's sophisticated torture methods:
Amazing... and look who's back in Green Lantern:
Oh, shit... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The Dissector #187.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Thirty-year-old rare Islay malt, and you chuck blocks of frozen water into it?" John Constantine, Hellblazer #273.
Now, this is called being up to date... of course, there's no guarantee that I'll get next column out in time; but anyway. This is the column for books released on 11/17. Last column's DT! wasn't cracked, but there wasn't enough time between columns I guess... wait, as I was getting ready to post this column, Donald313 did it. The problem was that Chameleon mentions committing treason, but he's a Russian citizen, which means he can't be charged with treason against the U.S., can he?
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week this time are: Best Book Of The Week is Hellboy: Double Feature Of Evil. If it wasn't for Corben's art (which is still spectacular), this would fit right in with the early Hellboy adventures. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy Hellboy, but it used to be lighter, even with all the horror and darkness... nowadays, it's become too embroiled in its own mythology, and I truly miss the "old days". Worst Book Of The Week was almost, almost, Superman #704; with its cheap shot story about domestic and child violence.. but at least that comic was passably written and drawn. No, this time it's Superman/Batman #78... first a story about "who would win" between the title characters, from the perspective of two kids; and then a very crappy angsty story about Power Girl (dealing with her already resolved "being from another universe" grief) and Huntress (rehashing her "boohoo my mafia family was killed by more mafia" sob story). This book is pointless, pull the plug on it already.
I don't have much to say about the Cover Of The Week except that it's from Darkwing Duck #6, it's by my fellow Uruguayan Diego Jourdan, and it's a homage to a great Batman cover of yesteryear. Not the first, but a good one.
The Rundown: The Authority: The Lost Year (Swift's ears are pointy again), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit lettering, Jarvis with a full head of hair and blond, Hawkeye doesn't know there's a red Hulk, inconsistent "next issue" lettering), Batman: The Return (Lucius Fox does not look like Morgan Freeman in the comics!), Brightest Day (accented letter), Ghost Projekt (weird dialogue), Green Lantern Corps V2 (several badges and other uniform errors), Hellblazer (the magic circle John left open last issue, the same one Gloria the succubus points to as open... is closed), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering, Justice's current costume should expose his ears, an empathic link should not enable you to have a conversation or send images; only emotions), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's bat emblem is wrong , Zatanna's eyes are colored purple instead of blue), Knights Of The Dinner Table (a dialogue that's pointing to Weird Pete is actually Gordo's), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (two incomplete power listings, and why would Gates need help from Chameleon in adapting to high humidity environments?), Osborn ("preëminent"?), Superman/Batman (Luthor's costume on the cover is wrong, "Powergirl" instead of "Power Girl" at one point), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored incorrectly).
<-------------------------------->
"ATMAN."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 704.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
DISSECTION: Mister Sinister, new reader (or at least new poster, I don't remember him posting before) noticed that credits in this issue say "RITTEN" instead of "WRITTEN". Badge for you, Sinister, and welcome to the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Dick's chest emblem is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"BLURRED DIALOGUES."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"TIGHT PANTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but I won't buy that Larfleeze can steal Barry Allen's wallet... if he keeps it on his person, it's probably stored with his clothes inside his ring; because there's no space in Barry's tights (where he pats his leg after noticing Larfleeze has the wallet)...
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!"
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ESPAIDERGIR."
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's go over this again... Anya's original codename was "Araña"... "ARAÑA"... NOT "ARANA"!!! CAN WE FUCKING REMEMBER THAT IN HER OWN FUCKING BOOK FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!!?!!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, any problem with that?
<-------------------------------->
"MAIDEN OF STEEL DISSECTED."
TITLE: Supergirl V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Wil Moss (assistant editor) and/or Matt Idelson (editor)
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's no way Lois Lane is going to be admitted into Star Labs while wearing a scarf covering most of her face (Muslim-style). I can see Gangbuster letting her in like that, but when she meets him, she's already inside.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR FACTOR."
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 211.
CULPRIT: Matt Milla (colorist).
DISSECTION: It's not Jeromy Cox, but what's up with this book? First Layla's eyes are blue, then green (the right color). Then, Madrox's eyes start out brown, as they should be, then change to green, then to brown again.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
This time the average was 6.1 Bazzars in forty-three dissections... I thought it'd be a bit higher. Moments Of The Week! Modern day Justice sees his past self and is distraught by what he wore (pictured right)... oh, right, because what you wear now (pictured left) is sooo much better!!!
Then, from Green Lantern Corps and Batman, two unfortunate sound effects:
And from Tiny Titans, why the hell is Jor-El in league with Zod and his cronies?
Creepy! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Thirty-year-old rare Islay malt, and you chuck blocks of frozen water into it?" John Constantine, Hellblazer #273.
Now, this is called being up to date... of course, there's no guarantee that I'll get next column out in time; but anyway. This is the column for books released on 11/17. Last column's DT! wasn't cracked, but there wasn't enough time between columns I guess... wait, as I was getting ready to post this column, Donald313 did it. The problem was that Chameleon mentions committing treason, but he's a Russian citizen, which means he can't be charged with treason against the U.S., can he?
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week this time are: Best Book Of The Week is Hellboy: Double Feature Of Evil. If it wasn't for Corben's art (which is still spectacular), this would fit right in with the early Hellboy adventures. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy Hellboy, but it used to be lighter, even with all the horror and darkness... nowadays, it's become too embroiled in its own mythology, and I truly miss the "old days". Worst Book Of The Week was almost, almost, Superman #704; with its cheap shot story about domestic and child violence.. but at least that comic was passably written and drawn. No, this time it's Superman/Batman #78... first a story about "who would win" between the title characters, from the perspective of two kids; and then a very crappy angsty story about Power Girl (dealing with her already resolved "being from another universe" grief) and Huntress (rehashing her "boohoo my mafia family was killed by more mafia" sob story). This book is pointless, pull the plug on it already.
I don't have much to say about the Cover Of The Week except that it's from Darkwing Duck #6, it's by my fellow Uruguayan Diego Jourdan, and it's a homage to a great Batman cover of yesteryear. Not the first, but a good one.The Rundown: The Authority: The Lost Year (Swift's ears are pointy again), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit lettering, Jarvis with a full head of hair and blond, Hawkeye doesn't know there's a red Hulk, inconsistent "next issue" lettering), Batman: The Return (Lucius Fox does not look like Morgan Freeman in the comics!), Brightest Day (accented letter), Ghost Projekt (weird dialogue), Green Lantern Corps V2 (several badges and other uniform errors), Hellblazer (the magic circle John left open last issue, the same one Gloria the succubus points to as open... is closed), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering, Justice's current costume should expose his ears, an empathic link should not enable you to have a conversation or send images; only emotions), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's bat emblem is wrong , Zatanna's eyes are colored purple instead of blue), Knights Of The Dinner Table (a dialogue that's pointing to Weird Pete is actually Gordo's), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (two incomplete power listings, and why would Gates need help from Chameleon in adapting to high humidity environments?), Osborn ("preëminent"?), Superman/Batman (Luthor's costume on the cover is wrong, "Powergirl" instead of "Power Girl" at one point), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored incorrectly).
<-------------------------------->
"ATMAN."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 704.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
DISSECTION: Mister Sinister, new reader (or at least new poster, I don't remember him posting before) noticed that credits in this issue say "RITTEN" instead of "WRITTEN". Badge for you, Sinister, and welcome to the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Dick's chest emblem is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"BLURRED DIALOGUES."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"TIGHT PANTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but I won't buy that Larfleeze can steal Barry Allen's wallet... if he keeps it on his person, it's probably stored with his clothes inside his ring; because there's no space in Barry's tights (where he pats his leg after noticing Larfleeze has the wallet)...
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!"
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ESPAIDERGIR."
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's go over this again... Anya's original codename was "Araña"... "ARAÑA"... NOT "ARANA"!!! CAN WE FUCKING REMEMBER THAT IN HER OWN FUCKING BOOK FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!!?!!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, any problem with that?
<-------------------------------->
"MAIDEN OF STEEL DISSECTED."
TITLE: Supergirl V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Wil Moss (assistant editor) and/or Matt Idelson (editor)
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's no way Lois Lane is going to be admitted into Star Labs while wearing a scarf covering most of her face (Muslim-style). I can see Gangbuster letting her in like that, but when she meets him, she's already inside.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR FACTOR."
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 211.
CULPRIT: Matt Milla (colorist).
DISSECTION: It's not Jeromy Cox, but what's up with this book? First Layla's eyes are blue, then green (the right color). Then, Madrox's eyes start out brown, as they should be, then change to green, then to brown again.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
This time the average was 6.1 Bazzars in forty-three dissections... I thought it'd be a bit higher. Moments Of The Week! Modern day Justice sees his past self and is distraught by what he wore (pictured right)... oh, right, because what you wear now (pictured left) is sooo much better!!!
Then, from Green Lantern Corps and Batman, two unfortunate sound effects:
And from Tiny Titans, why the hell is Jor-El in league with Zod and his cronies?
Creepy! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Dissector #186.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. Jarvis is an Avenger. He is as much an Avenger as any of us." Steve Rogers, Avengers Assemble, The Oral History Of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Chapter 12, The New Avengers V2 #6.
Still playing that game of "ketchup", here's the column for books released on 11/10. Last column's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe, who spotted that Bucky's Tommy gun ammo drum is in a ridiculous angle regarding the rest of the gun. Badge for you, Johnny.
Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week... Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art Of Science #1. Not only do we get to see "teenage" Robo having adventures with a mystery man of his universe (in what's probably the late 20s or early 30s), but we see some of his father/son dynamic with Tesla himself. You all know how much I love this book. Worst Book Of The Week was Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne #6, last issue of this poor miniseries. Not only Grant Morrison's plot makes no sense, mistaking chaotic storytelling for innovation, but they couldn't even have one artist do all the pages (much like the previous issue). On top of that, the release timing is bad, because it comes out after all the (also horrible) "Road Home" one-shots with the "Insider" crap...
Cover Of The Week is from Dungeons & Dragons #1 (by IDW); with art by Tyler Walpole and production work by someone uncredited, to make it look like an old school gaming module. Yeah, I admit it, I liked this because of a novelty issue; the actual cover art isn't that wonderful... but the effect they were looking for was achieved. Not only that, but the feel of the actual issue is that of a tabletop game (regardless of the fact that I do not like the D&D 4E rule system), and the actual module is included in the issue. It might not be the best cover art ever, or the best comic book of the week... but it certainly is the best issue gimmick of the week.
The Rundown: Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (Doom's eyes are colored incorrectly twice, inconsistent credit lettering), Batgirl V3 (Oracle's eyes should be blue, not green), Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne (Hal Jordan's badge is wrong, it should be "déjà vu" and not "dejà vu"), Birds Of Prey V3 (weird dialogue at one point), Dungeons & Dragons (the fantastic metal is "adamantine" or, more commonly in RPGs, "adamantite", not "adamanite"), G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (wrongly sized Cyrillic letters in the art), Invaders Now! (accented letters, Namor's eyes should be grey), Knights Of The Dinner Table ("Hat Of Opulent Lodging" becomes "Hat Of Opulant Loding"), New Mutants Forever (NOVA ROMA IS NOT IN THE FUCKING ANDES, CHRIS!!! YOU CREATED IT AND PLACED IT IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE!!!), R.E.B.E.L.S. (Psion computer monitor with English text), Shadowland: Daughters Of The Shadow (Misty Knight, a black woman, gets her eyes colored blue, and then green; none of those colors are correct for her eyes), Titans V2 (Batman's gloves are wrong, Ray Palmer is not blond and brown-eyed, Tattooed Man is Mark Richards, not "Richard"), X-Men Forever 2 (Genosha, even at the height of its power, could never be considered on par with the US; Lockheed's fangs shouldn't be that large).
<-------------------------------->
"BIG TIME DISSECTION."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man (Marvel).
ISSUE: 648.
CULPRIT: Dan Slott (writer).
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Reed Richard's eyes are colored incorrectly on the cover, Michele Gonzales' eyes and skin are wrong too, "skeletal crew" is used instead of "skeleton crew", and Captain America's boots are colored red when they should be black.
<-------------------------------->
"BEAUTIFUL WORLD."
TITLE: The Avengers Prime (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).
DISSECTION: Why would Thor refer to Jotunheim, land of his people's mortal enemies, as "that beautiful realm"?
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OBJECTION!"
TITLE: Captain America V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 346.
CULPRIT: Mark Gruenwald (writer).
DISSECTION: An older one to pad out the column... Louis Hamilton, aka Stonewall is playing a lawyer in a mock trial for Quicksilver, and acts like a lumbering idiot, quoting "L.A. Law" for example... but the character is actually lawyer, something the late Gruenwald didn't bother to check.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"VOLUME, VOLUME."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: Various.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I've referred to the current Captain America book as volume 1; but it's actually (technically) volume 2. I count volume numbers based on numbering; thus, books that have gone back to their previous numbering (like Captain America, Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Superman, etc) count as "V1". In this case, the current Cap Book continues numbering from the Captain America book that picked up numbering from Tales Of Suspense (as Thor did with Journey Into Mystery, for example).
The original book was Captain America Comics, published starting in 1941 by Timely/Atlas (and then Complete Photo Story, and Marjean Magazine), running up to issue 75 (that issue and the previous one were actually cover titled Captain America's Weird Tales). In 1954, however, Atlas published issues 76 through 78 of "Captain America", continuing the previous' book numbering, and portraying the "Commie Smasher" Captain America that was later retconned into being the crazy "Steve Roger" guy. Atlas, Timely, etc, are all effectively considered Marvel, and in any case, with Captain America I'd consider volumes from other companies as I've done with characters like Blue Beetle. So, to sum up, the current Captain America series is V2, if only because of the three 50s issues.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GALACTIC CIVIL RIGHTs."
TITLE: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (DC).
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).
DISSECTION: Guy Gardner and other lanterns break into a torture (sorry, interrogation) chamber in Daxam to confront Sodam Yat's father (who's doing the interrogating), and he threatens them that he's going to submit a "GOTG-22" and "have" Guy's ring. What? The Guardians do not subject the Green Lantern Corps to complaints and overseeing by the worlds they patrol and protect; in fact, that's been a major plot point in books like L.E.G.I.O.N., R.E.B.E.L.S., Darkstars, etc, etc.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, GL badges on Kilowog and Guy Gardner are wrong, and Guy's is positioned too low on his jacket.
<-------------------------------->
This time we returned to an average within the usual parameters, 6.4 Bazzars in thirty seven dissections. Moments Of The Week! First up, a prepared nerd is a surviving nerd:
SHAZAM! Next, some D&D characters have their priorities straight:
That sounds like something out of the mouth of some players I know... Still within D&D, you've got to have cooperation from the local law:
That's helpful! And last, don't sass Tesla!
Nine crackers. Precisely nine. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. Jarvis is an Avenger. He is as much an Avenger as any of us." Steve Rogers, Avengers Assemble, The Oral History Of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Chapter 12, The New Avengers V2 #6.
Still playing that game of "ketchup", here's the column for books released on 11/10. Last column's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe, who spotted that Bucky's Tommy gun ammo drum is in a ridiculous angle regarding the rest of the gun. Badge for you, Johnny.
Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week... Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art Of Science #1. Not only do we get to see "teenage" Robo having adventures with a mystery man of his universe (in what's probably the late 20s or early 30s), but we see some of his father/son dynamic with Tesla himself. You all know how much I love this book. Worst Book Of The Week was Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne #6, last issue of this poor miniseries. Not only Grant Morrison's plot makes no sense, mistaking chaotic storytelling for innovation, but they couldn't even have one artist do all the pages (much like the previous issue). On top of that, the release timing is bad, because it comes out after all the (also horrible) "Road Home" one-shots with the "Insider" crap...
Cover Of The Week is from Dungeons & Dragons #1 (by IDW); with art by Tyler Walpole and production work by someone uncredited, to make it look like an old school gaming module. Yeah, I admit it, I liked this because of a novelty issue; the actual cover art isn't that wonderful... but the effect they were looking for was achieved. Not only that, but the feel of the actual issue is that of a tabletop game (regardless of the fact that I do not like the D&D 4E rule system), and the actual module is included in the issue. It might not be the best cover art ever, or the best comic book of the week... but it certainly is the best issue gimmick of the week.The Rundown: Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (Doom's eyes are colored incorrectly twice, inconsistent credit lettering), Batgirl V3 (Oracle's eyes should be blue, not green), Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne (Hal Jordan's badge is wrong, it should be "déjà vu" and not "dejà vu"), Birds Of Prey V3 (weird dialogue at one point), Dungeons & Dragons (the fantastic metal is "adamantine" or, more commonly in RPGs, "adamantite", not "adamanite"), G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (wrongly sized Cyrillic letters in the art), Invaders Now! (accented letters, Namor's eyes should be grey), Knights Of The Dinner Table ("Hat Of Opulent Lodging" becomes "Hat Of Opulant Loding"), New Mutants Forever (NOVA ROMA IS NOT IN THE FUCKING ANDES, CHRIS!!! YOU CREATED IT AND PLACED IT IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE!!!), R.E.B.E.L.S. (Psion computer monitor with English text), Shadowland: Daughters Of The Shadow (Misty Knight, a black woman, gets her eyes colored blue, and then green; none of those colors are correct for her eyes), Titans V2 (Batman's gloves are wrong, Ray Palmer is not blond and brown-eyed, Tattooed Man is Mark Richards, not "Richard"), X-Men Forever 2 (Genosha, even at the height of its power, could never be considered on par with the US; Lockheed's fangs shouldn't be that large).
<-------------------------------->
"BIG TIME DISSECTION."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man (Marvel).
ISSUE: 648.
CULPRIT: Dan Slott (writer).
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Reed Richard's eyes are colored incorrectly on the cover, Michele Gonzales' eyes and skin are wrong too, "skeletal crew" is used instead of "skeleton crew", and Captain America's boots are colored red when they should be black.
<-------------------------------->
"BEAUTIFUL WORLD."
TITLE: The Avengers Prime (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).
DISSECTION: Why would Thor refer to Jotunheim, land of his people's mortal enemies, as "that beautiful realm"?
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OBJECTION!"
TITLE: Captain America V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 346.
CULPRIT: Mark Gruenwald (writer).
DISSECTION: An older one to pad out the column... Louis Hamilton, aka Stonewall is playing a lawyer in a mock trial for Quicksilver, and acts like a lumbering idiot, quoting "L.A. Law" for example... but the character is actually lawyer, something the late Gruenwald didn't bother to check.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"VOLUME, VOLUME."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: Various.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I've referred to the current Captain America book as volume 1; but it's actually (technically) volume 2. I count volume numbers based on numbering; thus, books that have gone back to their previous numbering (like Captain America, Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Superman, etc) count as "V1". In this case, the current Cap Book continues numbering from the Captain America book that picked up numbering from Tales Of Suspense (as Thor did with Journey Into Mystery, for example).
The original book was Captain America Comics, published starting in 1941 by Timely/Atlas (and then Complete Photo Story, and Marjean Magazine), running up to issue 75 (that issue and the previous one were actually cover titled Captain America's Weird Tales). In 1954, however, Atlas published issues 76 through 78 of "Captain America", continuing the previous' book numbering, and portraying the "Commie Smasher" Captain America that was later retconned into being the crazy "Steve Roger" guy. Atlas, Timely, etc, are all effectively considered Marvel, and in any case, with Captain America I'd consider volumes from other companies as I've done with characters like Blue Beetle. So, to sum up, the current Captain America series is V2, if only because of the three 50s issues.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GALACTIC CIVIL RIGHTs."
TITLE: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (DC).
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).
DISSECTION: Guy Gardner and other lanterns break into a torture (sorry, interrogation) chamber in Daxam to confront Sodam Yat's father (who's doing the interrogating), and he threatens them that he's going to submit a "GOTG-22" and "have" Guy's ring. What? The Guardians do not subject the Green Lantern Corps to complaints and overseeing by the worlds they patrol and protect; in fact, that's been a major plot point in books like L.E.G.I.O.N., R.E.B.E.L.S., Darkstars, etc, etc.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, GL badges on Kilowog and Guy Gardner are wrong, and Guy's is positioned too low on his jacket.
<-------------------------------->
This time we returned to an average within the usual parameters, 6.4 Bazzars in thirty seven dissections. Moments Of The Week! First up, a prepared nerd is a surviving nerd:
SHAZAM! Next, some D&D characters have their priorities straight:
That sounds like something out of the mouth of some players I know... Still within D&D, you've got to have cooperation from the local law:
That's helpful! And last, don't sass Tesla!
Nine crackers. Precisely nine. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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