Come on! Fred was only trying to protect his newly-gained sentience!(From Darkwing Duck #17, October 2011.)
Showing posts with label Darkwing Duck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Darkwing Duck. Show all posts
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Pretty Dicky Move...
Come on! Fred was only trying to protect his newly-gained sentience!(From Darkwing Duck #17, October 2011.)
Monday, June 13, 2011
The Dissector #198.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
04-06 "(...) that's the great thing about being evil. Good is ever-vigilant because good never knows when evil will strike. Evil, on the other hand, always knows when it's going to strike, so evil can afford to take a couple of days off." Abyss I, Abyss: Family Issues #2.
04-13 "You lack protocol. "Imperius Rex" is generally reserved for before battle is joined." Namor, Uncanny X-Men #535.
04-20 "This has gone on long enough! I've got a reality-devouring elder beast to get to. You, sir, are in the way! En garde!" Darkwing Duck, Darking Duck #11.
04-27 "Getting to kick Logan in the face is definitely silver lining." Spider-Man, X-Men V3 #10.
Trying to get these out of the way so I can regain my regular posting rhythm (although I'm considering going monthly), this is the column for the month of April. On another matter, but still within the subject of change, I've launched Clockwork Chap, my own venture for freelance writing, comic book lettering, sound editing, minor graphic design, etc... Studio Robota is still the label for my projects with my bro Endriago, but since The Dissector is my own baby, it'll be under the banner of Clockwork Chap. So go to Facebook, and like it! Last column's DT! was cracked by Sydney: with Parallax again inside the GL Central Battery, their rings are again ineffective on yellow stuff... so how was Hal carrying Sinestro's ring within an energy globe? But Syd hasn't been reading the GL books, so he just took a guess. Still, he got it right.
Let's go with the Picks for each week. Cover Of The Week of 04-06 was that nice Robotman piece from Doom Patrol #21 by Matthew Clark, Serge Lapointe, and Guy Major. I just liked it. Best Book this week was Uncanny X-Men #534.1, Kieron Gillen's debut as UXM writer is off to a great start, with an excellent showcase for Magneto and why he's with the X-Men. Art by Carlos Pacheco is certainly up to the task, as the veteran artist certainly knows his X-Men. Worst Book was the JLA 80-Page Giant 2011... Adam Glass writes a completely non-compelling tale of several JLA members (and not, since Lobo, Etrigan, and Ragman are there, for example) wading through different circles of infernal punishment in one of those Satanus-Blaze-whoever bi-monthly-fight-for-control of-whatever-passes-for-some-version-of-Hell but-is-not-actually-Hell comics; and it doesn't even make sense, since while I can see how Oracle and Booster Gold can be in the "gluttony" circle, since one craves information and the other fame and glory; but why are Supergirl and Wonder Woman in the "lust" one? Or Zatanna and John Stewart in "treachery"? Not to mention the bland and inconstant art by Scott McDaniel, with inexpressive faces, weird poses, detail-light group shots where characters wear costumes belonging to others or Batman wears long shorts over his tights; and having Zatanna look Asian or Supergirl look like a forty-year old Bette Middler... add to that lettering, continuity, and coloring mistakes (which don't make the column now, but do detract from quality), and I wonder how editors greenlight these things. Best Book for the 
Week of 04/13 was Black Panther: Man Without Fear #517, David Liss tells a fast-paced, yet very detailed urban vigilante story, with relatable characters. Not to mention Francesco Francavilla's pulp-styled art, which I'll certainly miss from Liss's upcoming continuation series, Black Panther: The Most Dangerous Man Alive. Worst Book was Secret Warriors #26... for the last fifteen issues this books has been the perfect example of a book where a lot happens, yet nothing is really happening. Writer Jonathan Hickman weaves interesting conspiracies and comes up with fun pseudoscientific concepts, but in Secret Warriors, as well as in S.H.I.E.L.D., nothing actually happens, nothing at least that couldn't be told in a quarter of the pages used. Fantastic Four and now FF are not far behind in this style of Hickman's, but at least there I care about the characters. But back to Secret Warriors, Alessandro Vitti's art is not bad, not at all, but it does nothing for me. Mike Del Mundo draws this Hollywood Thor variant cover for Uncanny X-Force #7, which I liked over the rest of the covers that week.
Cover for the Week of 04/20 was this nice Hellblazer #278 by Simon Bisley... while I don't care much for the thicker, rougher face he's giving Constantine these days, this cover is the perfect amalgam of magic and grit that a Hellblazer book should have. Best Book for this week was X-Factor #219, just like the month before, Peter David and Emanuela Lupacchino headline a creative team that weave a series where a lot is happening all the time, yet you don't feel lost; and there's a good balance of action and character development/interaction. Worst Book of the Week is Avengers #12... just can't find what's good about this story arc. It's not that Bendis' writing being decompressed; one should expect that from him, but it's just not enjoyable this time around. And Romita's art is weak, uninspired, taking the blockiness and thick lines that are part of his trademark to an extreme where it's unappealing. Best Book of the week of 04/27 was Star Wars: Legacy - War #5, the end of the miniseries. Again, a bit rushed, but it was still very enjoyable, and it leaves you wanting more of this Star Wars era. Worst book this 
week was Justice Society of America #50. Too much of a jumble of new characters (both new to the book and new in general) that haven't gotten enough time, making you feel as if a couple of dozen pages of story between the last couple of issues and this one has been edited out. Cover for the week is from Warlord Of Mars #6, again by Joe Jusko. He paints a beautiful and alluring, yet obviously exotic woman.
And now, the dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"SCIENCE IN ACTION."
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 900.
CULPRIT: Paul Cornell (writer).
DISSECTION: This might look like one of the minor mistakes I might have to keep out of the new column format... but calling "nanobots" "nanobytes" is something that I can't condone.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSIFIED."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 327.
CULPRIT: David Michelinie (writer).
DISSECTION: From my Vault, and 1989 comes an issue from the Acts Of Vengeance crossover... Magneto lands in Central Park, and a New Yorker mocks him with a "Halloween ain't for two weeks!". Well, I might concede that back then, Magneto wasn't as well known to the general public as he is now... but how many times has New York been invaded by supervillains? And you're gonna mock some guy in costume? He flies and wears a suit of armor, actually, and you mock him?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FLASH SURPRISE."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Barry Allen, the fastest man alive, the man who's lived in the future, fought mythological gods and space aliens, met his comic book hero after who he called himself the Flash, and has more than likely seen a lot of things, including parallel world versions of himself... finds it strange to meet a future or parallel version of himself?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Please!
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSIFIED."
TITLE: JLA Classified (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Kilian Plunkett (artist).
DISSECTION: From 2006 comes this DT!, check it out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Seeing that I had to fish in the Vault, and what I have filed for May, and for the two weeks of June already gone by, I'm going to have to do one more change to the column: it's going to be monthly now. I hope you'll still enjoy it, and I'm certain I'll be able to keep up. This column's average was 7 Bazzars in four dissections. Four! Yeah, monthly is the way to go.
Now, the Moments for each week... From 04/06, Vader shows us his dance moves:
Well, he's actually jumping off of a landed shuttle, but it's not the best depiction of that kind of movement. Next, from the best book of the week, Magneto saves San Francisco:
I know it looks like he's actually attacking it, but trust me, he's saving people. From 04/13, only one moment... the true purpose of the Colossus of Rhodes:
Fighting giant robots and monsters! Now, speaking of giant robots, and from 04/20, Darkwing Duck knows how to fight them too:
Of course, you fence with them using petrified spies! And for the end of this column, three moments from 04/27. First, who's back in the DCU?
John Constantine. You don't wanna be his friend, trust me. Then, both Booster and Beetle set Max Lord and his OMAC straight:
Give 'em hell, boys! And last, how do you make the Planet of the Apes?
You give the apes some zeppelins! Yeah! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
PS: You can still get in your votes for the Autopsy Awards.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
04-06 "(...) that's the great thing about being evil. Good is ever-vigilant because good never knows when evil will strike. Evil, on the other hand, always knows when it's going to strike, so evil can afford to take a couple of days off." Abyss I, Abyss: Family Issues #2.
04-13 "You lack protocol. "Imperius Rex" is generally reserved for before battle is joined." Namor, Uncanny X-Men #535.
04-20 "This has gone on long enough! I've got a reality-devouring elder beast to get to. You, sir, are in the way! En garde!" Darkwing Duck, Darking Duck #11.
04-27 "Getting to kick Logan in the face is definitely silver lining." Spider-Man, X-Men V3 #10.
Trying to get these out of the way so I can regain my regular posting rhythm (although I'm considering going monthly), this is the column for the month of April. On another matter, but still within the subject of change, I've launched Clockwork Chap, my own venture for freelance writing, comic book lettering, sound editing, minor graphic design, etc... Studio Robota is still the label for my projects with my bro Endriago, but since The Dissector is my own baby, it'll be under the banner of Clockwork Chap. So go to Facebook, and like it! Last column's DT! was cracked by Sydney: with Parallax again inside the GL Central Battery, their rings are again ineffective on yellow stuff... so how was Hal carrying Sinestro's ring within an energy globe? But Syd hasn't been reading the GL books, so he just took a guess. Still, he got it right.
Let's go with the Picks for each week. Cover Of The Week of 04-06 was that nice Robotman piece from Doom Patrol #21 by Matthew Clark, Serge Lapointe, and Guy Major. I just liked it. Best Book this week was Uncanny X-Men #534.1, Kieron Gillen's debut as UXM writer is off to a great start, with an excellent showcase for Magneto and why he's with the X-Men. Art by Carlos Pacheco is certainly up to the task, as the veteran artist certainly knows his X-Men. Worst Book was the JLA 80-Page Giant 2011... Adam Glass writes a completely non-compelling tale of several JLA members (and not, since Lobo, Etrigan, and Ragman are there, for example) wading through different circles of infernal punishment in one of those Satanus-Blaze-whoever bi-monthly-fight-for-control of-whatever-passes-for-some-version-of-Hell but-is-not-actually-Hell comics; and it doesn't even make sense, since while I can see how Oracle and Booster Gold can be in the "gluttony" circle, since one craves information and the other fame and glory; but why are Supergirl and Wonder Woman in the "lust" one? Or Zatanna and John Stewart in "treachery"? Not to mention the bland and inconstant art by Scott McDaniel, with inexpressive faces, weird poses, detail-light group shots where characters wear costumes belonging to others or Batman wears long shorts over his tights; and having Zatanna look Asian or Supergirl look like a forty-year old Bette Middler... add to that lettering, continuity, and coloring mistakes (which don't make the column now, but do detract from quality), and I wonder how editors greenlight these things. Best Book for the 
Week of 04/13 was Black Panther: Man Without Fear #517, David Liss tells a fast-paced, yet very detailed urban vigilante story, with relatable characters. Not to mention Francesco Francavilla's pulp-styled art, which I'll certainly miss from Liss's upcoming continuation series, Black Panther: The Most Dangerous Man Alive. Worst Book was Secret Warriors #26... for the last fifteen issues this books has been the perfect example of a book where a lot happens, yet nothing is really happening. Writer Jonathan Hickman weaves interesting conspiracies and comes up with fun pseudoscientific concepts, but in Secret Warriors, as well as in S.H.I.E.L.D., nothing actually happens, nothing at least that couldn't be told in a quarter of the pages used. Fantastic Four and now FF are not far behind in this style of Hickman's, but at least there I care about the characters. But back to Secret Warriors, Alessandro Vitti's art is not bad, not at all, but it does nothing for me. Mike Del Mundo draws this Hollywood Thor variant cover for Uncanny X-Force #7, which I liked over the rest of the covers that week.
Cover for the Week of 04/20 was this nice Hellblazer #278 by Simon Bisley... while I don't care much for the thicker, rougher face he's giving Constantine these days, this cover is the perfect amalgam of magic and grit that a Hellblazer book should have. Best Book for this week was X-Factor #219, just like the month before, Peter David and Emanuela Lupacchino headline a creative team that weave a series where a lot is happening all the time, yet you don't feel lost; and there's a good balance of action and character development/interaction. Worst Book of the Week is Avengers #12... just can't find what's good about this story arc. It's not that Bendis' writing being decompressed; one should expect that from him, but it's just not enjoyable this time around. And Romita's art is weak, uninspired, taking the blockiness and thick lines that are part of his trademark to an extreme where it's unappealing. Best Book of the week of 04/27 was Star Wars: Legacy - War #5, the end of the miniseries. Again, a bit rushed, but it was still very enjoyable, and it leaves you wanting more of this Star Wars era. Worst book this 
week was Justice Society of America #50. Too much of a jumble of new characters (both new to the book and new in general) that haven't gotten enough time, making you feel as if a couple of dozen pages of story between the last couple of issues and this one has been edited out. Cover for the week is from Warlord Of Mars #6, again by Joe Jusko. He paints a beautiful and alluring, yet obviously exotic woman.And now, the dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"SCIENCE IN ACTION."
TITLE: Action Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 900.
CULPRIT: Paul Cornell (writer).
DISSECTION: This might look like one of the minor mistakes I might have to keep out of the new column format... but calling "nanobots" "nanobytes" is something that I can't condone.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSIFIED."
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 327.
CULPRIT: David Michelinie (writer).
DISSECTION: From my Vault, and 1989 comes an issue from the Acts Of Vengeance crossover... Magneto lands in Central Park, and a New Yorker mocks him with a "Halloween ain't for two weeks!". Well, I might concede that back then, Magneto wasn't as well known to the general public as he is now... but how many times has New York been invaded by supervillains? And you're gonna mock some guy in costume? He flies and wears a suit of armor, actually, and you mock him?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FLASH SURPRISE."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Barry Allen, the fastest man alive, the man who's lived in the future, fought mythological gods and space aliens, met his comic book hero after who he called himself the Flash, and has more than likely seen a lot of things, including parallel world versions of himself... finds it strange to meet a future or parallel version of himself?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Please!
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSIFIED."
TITLE: JLA Classified (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Kilian Plunkett (artist).
DISSECTION: From 2006 comes this DT!, check it out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Seeing that I had to fish in the Vault, and what I have filed for May, and for the two weeks of June already gone by, I'm going to have to do one more change to the column: it's going to be monthly now. I hope you'll still enjoy it, and I'm certain I'll be able to keep up. This column's average was 7 Bazzars in four dissections. Four! Yeah, monthly is the way to go.
Now, the Moments for each week... From 04/06, Vader shows us his dance moves:
Well, he's actually jumping off of a landed shuttle, but it's not the best depiction of that kind of movement. Next, from the best book of the week, Magneto saves San Francisco:
I know it looks like he's actually attacking it, but trust me, he's saving people. From 04/13, only one moment... the true purpose of the Colossus of Rhodes:
Fighting giant robots and monsters! Now, speaking of giant robots, and from 04/20, Darkwing Duck knows how to fight them too:
Of course, you fence with them using petrified spies! And for the end of this column, three moments from 04/27. First, who's back in the DCU?
John Constantine. You don't wanna be his friend, trust me. Then, both Booster and Beetle set Max Lord and his OMAC straight:
Give 'em hell, boys! And last, how do you make the Planet of the Apes?
You give the apes some zeppelins! Yeah! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
PS: You can still get in your votes for the Autopsy Awards.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
The Dissector #197.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
03-02 "Will he live and junk?" King Shark, worried about one of his teammates' health, Secret Six V3 #31.
03-09 "Just one person to call you their peer is enough of a verdict, if it's the right person." Hawkeye, after being complimented by Captain America, Hawkeye: Blindspot #2.
03-16 "We need liquor, drugs, a yard of sheet latex, and a case each of penicillin and lube. Give me three minutes." Wendell's preparations for a trip to Las Vegas, Bad Dog #4.
03-23 "Dear God... or other similar Judeo-Christian messianic figure... or the Ancient Ones... or some weird evolutionary something-or-other... or some random confluence of events that resulted in the perfect conditions for life to flourish on this once-barren, desolate hunk of rock... we thank you for... Oh, right... or Mephisto, the Devil, or some other evil incarnate being... we thank you for this wonderful dinner. " Alex Power's eclectic grace at a Future Foundation dinner, FF #1.
03-30 "... beware MY freakin' power--GUY GARDNER'S MIGHT!" Guy Gardner, Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #8.
Long I have been gone, but here I am again. The same way DC is doing some spring cleaning, so am I (even though it's almost winter where I live). There will be some changes, some streamlining in this column, and you can read about them here. Bottom line? Well, I won't sweat it over accented letters, eye colors, or minor/routine mistakes. And trust me, I saw a few wrong eye colors in the comics I read yesterday and today, and it's hard not to make a note of it as I used to do for the column. And I deleted all the stuff in my notes for future columns that would usually go in The Rundown. It's hard, but I have to take steps to make sure this column is leaner, more dynamic, and most important of all, not behind schedule. That's why this is a column for the whole month of March, and there will be subsequent columns for April and May, and whatever else I need to do to get back on a semi-weekly schedule.
With all that out of the way, last column's (months ago) DT! was cracked by... nobody. Darryn noticed that the Starro on Rughal is on his coat, and not his actual neck, and that'd be something worth noting (and he gets badge)... but that wasn't it. The problem is that they are referring to "telemetry", when it's just a picture or video feed. They wanted to use a fancy word. Let's get on with The Dissector's Picks for each week. Week of 03/02 has X-Factor #216 as Best Book, as usual, it is a great job by Peter David, Emanuela Lupacchino, and the rest of the team, and its cover by David Yardin and Sonia Oback is the cover for that week. Worst Book was for Batman Confidential #54. Boring storyline, poorly told.
Cover of the Week for 03/09 is Joe Jusko's beautiful piece for Warlord Of Mars: Dejah Thoris #1. Sure, other (this book has like six variant covers per issue) may draw a curvier, juicier Dejah Thoris, but Jusko's just screams "Edgar Rice Burroughs' book cover". Best Book for that week is the Legion of Super-Villains one-shot by Paul Levitz and Francis Portela, just great LSH... well, LSV fun. Worst Book that week is JSA All-Stars #16. Poor plot, blocky art... why am I reading this? Best Book Of The Week for 03/16 is The Amazing Spider-Man #656; as Dan Slott shows over and over why he gets Spider-Man so much; his personality, 
motivation, and modus operandi. This is Spider-Man beating villains with his mind and not just his powers, and Marcos Martin's Silver Age-feeling art style is a cherry on top. Worst Book this week is T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents #5. This book is going nowhere, and this was the last issue I read, I believe. A pity, because other things I've read by Nick Spencer was good, and while Cafu's art is not my particular choice, it's solid. The Cover for this week is Alex Ross's cover for The Lone Ranger & Zorro: The Death of Zorro #1. Just works as a movie poster of sorts.
Cover Of The Week for 03/23 is from Captain America Comics #1: 70th Anniversary Special, a recreation by Brian Ching and Michael Atiyeh of the classic 1941 cover of Cap's first appearance. Best Book for this week is Osborn #4; Kelly Sue DeConnick's tale of Osborn's ploys is entrancing, and more so with Emma Ríos' beautifully crafted art, not to mention Jose Villarrubia's colors. Worst Book of the week is Batman, Incorporated #4... Morrison's assassination of the Spanish language and Latin cliches is made even worse by his insistence on Silver Age and Golden Age stuff that makes Batman sillier than it should be, such as Batman dancing "EL TANGO DEL MUERTE" with Bat-Woman (Kathy Kane) on a rooftop. I like Silver/Golden Age references, and Silver or Golden Age-influenced art... but 
continuously bringing back stuff that should have stayed there is not good for books like this one. Best Book Of The Week for 03/30 is Star Wars: Legacy - War #4. As rushed as this conclusion to the Legacy series feels, John Ostrander and Jan Duursema tell a fun, dynamic Star Wars tale. Worst Book Of The Week is Avengers #11. Bendis milks a tired story for a couple of issues too long, and Romita's art is a poor ghost of what the man can actually accomplish. Seriously, it's BAD. Cover for this week is Steve Epting's variant for Captain America #616. This is a good example of retro.
Here's The Rundown, for the last time, and only because I had already finished it when I decided the column's new format:
<-------------------------------->
"VIVE LA RESISTANCE!"
TITLE: Captain America And The First Thirteen (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot/
CULPRIT: Ramon Perez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Why the flying fuck are resistance fighters in Nazi-occupied France during WWII WEARING MILITARY UNIFORMS? No, they're not wearing Nazi uniforms to blend in, but what seem to be military uniforms of their own, while they sneak around spying on Nazis. Not even combat fatigues, but battle dress uniforms suitable to support troops in administrative duties, coomplete with nice green sweaters AND NEAT LITTLE NECKTIES!!!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Stealthy, yeah. Ever heard of a guerrilla movement, Mr. Perez?
<-------------------------------->
"LEGACY OF TIME/"
TITLE: DC Universe Legacies (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Len Wein (writer), Scot Kolins (artist).
DISSECTION: This book has got to be the continuity fuck-up of recent times. The character who tells the story was a kid in the 30s when JSA members first start appearing, then is a young police detective when Superman first appears, and during Infinite Crisis he barely looks fifty (and a good, very handsome and young-looking fifty); while his brother-in-law and childhood friend looks like a 20-year old. In fact, if you didn't know who he is, you'd think his friend is Jimmy Olsen.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MINOR STUFF."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 196.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Captain Donald313 of the HDSC let me know I wrote "an character" instead of "a character". Yes, I will continue to feature my own minor errors as a matter of intellectual honesty.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO DISSECTION SHALL ESCAPE OUR SIGHT!"
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 64.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: The DT! for this column:
Hint: you must be following current Green Lantern books in order to get this... but you might get it by accident if you haven't read GL in ages.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. It might be explained away, but I still kept it.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERBOY TWO-IN-ONE."
TITLE: Superboy V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Lemire (writer).
DISSECTION: In a single page, Lemire manages to have Superboy call Beast Boy "Garth" (Aqualad/Tempest's name) instead of "Gar" (as Beast Boy's name is Garfield), and Pete Ross mention "Steve Danton" instead of "Steve Dayton".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for Garth/Gar, and 4 for Danton/Dayton.
<-------------------------------->
"STARK LIES."
TITLE: Venom V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm enjoying this book, but Remender needs a refresher on Marvel Universe tenets: there's no way UN peacekeeping troops will have Stark power armor, not after all the efforts Tony made to get all his armor tech out of other hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
And that, more or less, is what future columns will look like. I'm not even going to pad out columns with stuff from The Vault, except for very special situations; such as when I don't find a good DT!, or there's absolutely nothing really worth mentioning. In fact, I'm going to the vault after I finish this column to delete everything that's an accent, eye color, or other stuff that no longer passes muster for columns. This column's average was 6.3 Bazzars in one hundred and thirty-six dissections. Last time you'll see that amount of dissections.
Now, let's get with each week's Moments, shall we? Only one for 03/02, and it's Quackerjack at his most human, err, duck:
Sad ending. Then, from 03/09, we've got two. First, Alan Moore's childhood:
Hehe... Van Lente and Dunlavey crack me up. And what's the smart thing for Captain Action to do when he's recovered a magical orb from some Nazis, and he's confronted by the Yeti?
Why, have the Yeti swallow the magical orb! GREAT IDEA!!! Next up, from 03/16, three Moments. When you're a werewolf, you have to be badass:
... or at least look like it for a few moments. Now, again from Darkwing Duck, I need this:
... and not just because it's a jetpack. Remember what I was saying at the start of the column about Dan Slott making Spidey act smart? Well:
That's what I like! Now, one from 03/23, Brainiac 5 shows his love for his fellow Legionnaires:
In his own way, of course. And to end this column, two from 03/30. First, Alan's Scott costume was kind of outdated, so he came up with a new one:
IT'S HORRIBLE!!! HE'S WEARING A FREAKING LANTERN COSTUME!!! LITERALLY!!! THE HANDLE STICKS OUT FROM BEHIND HIS HEAD!!! Good lord. And now an emotional moment from Amazing Spider-Man:
My eyes welled-up. Oh, yeah... while I play catch-up, you can still vote on the Autopsy Awards.
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
03-02 "Will he live and junk?" King Shark, worried about one of his teammates' health, Secret Six V3 #31.
03-09 "Just one person to call you their peer is enough of a verdict, if it's the right person." Hawkeye, after being complimented by Captain America, Hawkeye: Blindspot #2.
03-16 "We need liquor, drugs, a yard of sheet latex, and a case each of penicillin and lube. Give me three minutes." Wendell's preparations for a trip to Las Vegas, Bad Dog #4.
03-23 "Dear God... or other similar Judeo-Christian messianic figure... or the Ancient Ones... or some weird evolutionary something-or-other... or some random confluence of events that resulted in the perfect conditions for life to flourish on this once-barren, desolate hunk of rock... we thank you for... Oh, right... or Mephisto, the Devil, or some other evil incarnate being... we thank you for this wonderful dinner. " Alex Power's eclectic grace at a Future Foundation dinner, FF #1.
03-30 "... beware MY freakin' power--GUY GARDNER'S MIGHT!" Guy Gardner, Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #8.
Long I have been gone, but here I am again. The same way DC is doing some spring cleaning, so am I (even though it's almost winter where I live). There will be some changes, some streamlining in this column, and you can read about them here. Bottom line? Well, I won't sweat it over accented letters, eye colors, or minor/routine mistakes. And trust me, I saw a few wrong eye colors in the comics I read yesterday and today, and it's hard not to make a note of it as I used to do for the column. And I deleted all the stuff in my notes for future columns that would usually go in The Rundown. It's hard, but I have to take steps to make sure this column is leaner, more dynamic, and most important of all, not behind schedule. That's why this is a column for the whole month of March, and there will be subsequent columns for April and May, and whatever else I need to do to get back on a semi-weekly schedule.
With all that out of the way, last column's (months ago) DT! was cracked by... nobody. Darryn noticed that the Starro on Rughal is on his coat, and not his actual neck, and that'd be something worth noting (and he gets badge)... but that wasn't it. The problem is that they are referring to "telemetry", when it's just a picture or video feed. They wanted to use a fancy word. Let's get on with The Dissector's Picks for each week. Week of 03/02 has X-Factor #216 as Best Book, as usual, it is a great job by Peter David, Emanuela Lupacchino, and the rest of the team, and its cover by David Yardin and Sonia Oback is the cover for that week. Worst Book was for Batman Confidential #54. Boring storyline, poorly told.
Cover of the Week for 03/09 is Joe Jusko's beautiful piece for Warlord Of Mars: Dejah Thoris #1. Sure, other (this book has like six variant covers per issue) may draw a curvier, juicier Dejah Thoris, but Jusko's just screams "Edgar Rice Burroughs' book cover". Best Book for that week is the Legion of Super-Villains one-shot by Paul Levitz and Francis Portela, just great LSH... well, LSV fun. Worst Book that week is JSA All-Stars #16. Poor plot, blocky art... why am I reading this? Best Book Of The Week for 03/16 is The Amazing Spider-Man #656; as Dan Slott shows over and over why he gets Spider-Man so much; his personality, 
motivation, and modus operandi. This is Spider-Man beating villains with his mind and not just his powers, and Marcos Martin's Silver Age-feeling art style is a cherry on top. Worst Book this week is T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents #5. This book is going nowhere, and this was the last issue I read, I believe. A pity, because other things I've read by Nick Spencer was good, and while Cafu's art is not my particular choice, it's solid. The Cover for this week is Alex Ross's cover for The Lone Ranger & Zorro: The Death of Zorro #1. Just works as a movie poster of sorts.
Cover Of The Week for 03/23 is from Captain America Comics #1: 70th Anniversary Special, a recreation by Brian Ching and Michael Atiyeh of the classic 1941 cover of Cap's first appearance. Best Book for this week is Osborn #4; Kelly Sue DeConnick's tale of Osborn's ploys is entrancing, and more so with Emma Ríos' beautifully crafted art, not to mention Jose Villarrubia's colors. Worst Book of the week is Batman, Incorporated #4... Morrison's assassination of the Spanish language and Latin cliches is made even worse by his insistence on Silver Age and Golden Age stuff that makes Batman sillier than it should be, such as Batman dancing "EL TANGO DEL MUERTE" with Bat-Woman (Kathy Kane) on a rooftop. I like Silver/Golden Age references, and Silver or Golden Age-influenced art... but 
continuously bringing back stuff that should have stayed there is not good for books like this one. Best Book Of The Week for 03/30 is Star Wars: Legacy - War #4. As rushed as this conclusion to the Legacy series feels, John Ostrander and Jan Duursema tell a fun, dynamic Star Wars tale. Worst Book Of The Week is Avengers #11. Bendis milks a tired story for a couple of issues too long, and Romita's art is a poor ghost of what the man can actually accomplish. Seriously, it's BAD. Cover for this week is Steve Epting's variant for Captain America #616. This is a good example of retro.Here's The Rundown, for the last time, and only because I had already finished it when I decided the column's new format:
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"VIVE LA RESISTANCE!"
TITLE: Captain America And The First Thirteen (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot/
CULPRIT: Ramon Perez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Why the flying fuck are resistance fighters in Nazi-occupied France during WWII WEARING MILITARY UNIFORMS? No, they're not wearing Nazi uniforms to blend in, but what seem to be military uniforms of their own, while they sneak around spying on Nazis. Not even combat fatigues, but battle dress uniforms suitable to support troops in administrative duties, coomplete with nice green sweaters AND NEAT LITTLE NECKTIES!!!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Stealthy, yeah. Ever heard of a guerrilla movement, Mr. Perez?
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"LEGACY OF TIME/"
TITLE: DC Universe Legacies (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Len Wein (writer), Scot Kolins (artist).
DISSECTION: This book has got to be the continuity fuck-up of recent times. The character who tells the story was a kid in the 30s when JSA members first start appearing, then is a young police detective when Superman first appears, and during Infinite Crisis he barely looks fifty (and a good, very handsome and young-looking fifty); while his brother-in-law and childhood friend looks like a 20-year old. In fact, if you didn't know who he is, you'd think his friend is Jimmy Olsen.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"MINOR STUFF."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 196.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Captain Donald313 of the HDSC let me know I wrote "an character" instead of "a character". Yes, I will continue to feature my own minor errors as a matter of intellectual honesty.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO DISSECTION SHALL ESCAPE OUR SIGHT!"
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 64.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: The DT! for this column:
Hint: you must be following current Green Lantern books in order to get this... but you might get it by accident if you haven't read GL in ages.DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. It might be explained away, but I still kept it.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERBOY TWO-IN-ONE."
TITLE: Superboy V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Lemire (writer).
DISSECTION: In a single page, Lemire manages to have Superboy call Beast Boy "Garth" (Aqualad/Tempest's name) instead of "Gar" (as Beast Boy's name is Garfield), and Pete Ross mention "Steve Danton" instead of "Steve Dayton".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for Garth/Gar, and 4 for Danton/Dayton.
<-------------------------------->
"STARK LIES."
TITLE: Venom V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm enjoying this book, but Remender needs a refresher on Marvel Universe tenets: there's no way UN peacekeeping troops will have Stark power armor, not after all the efforts Tony made to get all his armor tech out of other hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
And that, more or less, is what future columns will look like. I'm not even going to pad out columns with stuff from The Vault, except for very special situations; such as when I don't find a good DT!, or there's absolutely nothing really worth mentioning. In fact, I'm going to the vault after I finish this column to delete everything that's an accent, eye color, or other stuff that no longer passes muster for columns. This column's average was 6.3 Bazzars in one hundred and thirty-six dissections. Last time you'll see that amount of dissections.
Now, let's get with each week's Moments, shall we? Only one for 03/02, and it's Quackerjack at his most human, err, duck:
Sad ending. Then, from 03/09, we've got two. First, Alan Moore's childhood:
Hehe... Van Lente and Dunlavey crack me up. And what's the smart thing for Captain Action to do when he's recovered a magical orb from some Nazis, and he's confronted by the Yeti?
Why, have the Yeti swallow the magical orb! GREAT IDEA!!! Next up, from 03/16, three Moments. When you're a werewolf, you have to be badass:
... or at least look like it for a few moments. Now, again from Darkwing Duck, I need this:
... and not just because it's a jetpack. Remember what I was saying at the start of the column about Dan Slott making Spidey act smart? Well:
That's what I like! Now, one from 03/23, Brainiac 5 shows his love for his fellow Legionnaires:
In his own way, of course. And to end this column, two from 03/30. First, Alan's Scott costume was kind of outdated, so he came up with a new one:
IT'S HORRIBLE!!! HE'S WEARING A FREAKING LANTERN COSTUME!!! LITERALLY!!! THE HANDLE STICKS OUT FROM BEHIND HIS HEAD!!! Good lord. And now an emotional moment from Amazing Spider-Man:
My eyes welled-up. Oh, yeah... while I play catch-up, you can still vote on the Autopsy Awards.That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
The Dissector #196.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
02/09 "Lightning guns! I shoot those all the time. Sometimes they don't even explode." Atomic Robo, Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art of Science #3.
02/16 "The real John Constantine is a stranger to me. He's a shadow at the end of the street, a pale face at the window. The real John Constantine scares the fucking shit out of me because I've seen what he's capable of." John Constantine, Hellblazer #276.
02/23 "Genius is often little more than the ability to see connections no one else can." Nikola Tesla, Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art of Science #4.
Yeah, I'm late, and still behind. Move along. Still time to vote on the Autopsy Awards, and you can become a fan of the column in the Facebook page. Last column's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe, who correctly pointed out that the TARDIS' exterior was too large. One more badge and you make Captain!
The Dissector's Picks Of Week 02/09 are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art of Science #3; whenever there's an Atomic Robo book out, it's hard not to choose it as the best book. It's fun, it's witty, it's well written... and it's pulp! Worst Book Of The Week was Superman #708. The art by Eddy Barrows (inks by Mater and Ferreira), and colors by Rod Reis weren’t as bad as previous installment... but the story, man, the story... Chris Roberson does his best to script the JMS train wreck that wastes one issue of the already boring "Superman walks around the USA" arc ramming new/old/different Wonder Woman down our throats. Gawd... Cover Of The Week, by Bill Sienkiewicz, was the only redeeming feature of DC Universe: Legacies #9.
Week 02/16's Best Book was Hellblazer #276. It's no surprise that Peter Milligan understands Hellblazer, and while it's no old school mid-to-late 90s Constantine, it's still good old British blue-collar magic entertainment. Simon Bisley's art, with Brian Buccellato's colors, gives us that make me think of New Wave and Punk album covers and posters. Worst Book was Superman/Batman #81. Remember when this book was good? Cover Of The Week is by Gerald Parel and Dustin Weaver, from S.H.I.E.L.D. #6. The book might be a weird science, revisionist history, look-there-is-Tesla-and-Newton-and-Leonardo-and-Galileo orgy, and it's just a tad short of being unreadable, plot-wise... but it's quite nice, visually.
On week 02/23, I couldn't pick Atomic Robo as best book, because Detective Comics #874 was very good. Scott Snyder wrote an actual detective story (starring Commissioner Gordon), and Francesco Francavilla's full art is just perfect for the tale. Namor: The First Mutant #7 was the Worst Book this week... wake me up when the wandering-through-a-hell-dimension snorefest ends, yes? I want to see underwater battles. Cover Of The Week is from Detective Comics #874, also by Francesco Francavilla. And The Rundown is too long, so it was posted previously. Click on that link to see it; if I included it here it would take up too much space.
<-------------------------------->
"RED SCARE."
TITLE: Black Terror (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 11-13.
CULPRIT: Adriano Lucas and Vinicius Andrade (colorists).
DISSECTION: Sidney tells us that a character in Black Terror was miscolored for several issues; in "(...) Black Terror #14, it was shown that the lower part of her face, below the line, was colored red, which means that she had been miscolored before."
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, and a badge for Sidney; who's one badge away from making Commander.
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"NITBUSTER."
TITLE: Blockbusters Of The Marvel Universe (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen and Mike O'Sullivan (head writers/coordinators), unspecified writers, one colorist.
DISSECTION: Too many errors to list (ten in total), not as bad as usual, but still... a Marvel handbook. I wasn't even going to give this an entry, it was going to be part of the Rundown; but Sidney sent in two of them, so he gets two badges. Congratulations, Sidney, you've been promoted to Commander!
DISSECT-O-METER: Blanket rating of 7 Bazzars.
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"COLOR ME WRONG."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 195.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe was busy, and gets another badge for pointing out that I had credited John Ridgway as a colorist, and he's a penciller. Congratulations, Captain JohnnyDoe.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. it's made worse because it was a DT!, not a regular dissection.
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"FLASH NAME DANCE."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Adam Schlagman & Eddie Berganza (editors).
DISSECTION: Sidney gets another badge by telling us the following "The second mistake comes from Flash #9. Richard Zajac did the inking for the issue, but the book switched editors in the middle of production, and the new editor, Adam Schlagman, forgot to credit him. I know this because Richard works at the local comic store."
Sidney, tell Richard I say hi.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IS THAT A LANTERN IN YOUR POCKET, OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?"
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 62.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's not talk about how the badges and rings are the wrong shape, or even change shapes within the same issue. So... remember how I've complained about the "ring... charge... low..." plot device being used too often? How they make a point of showing how when they're in a fight, Green Lanterns don't have their power battery handy to recharge... even though recharging takes a second (they don't actually have to say the oath)?
Traditionally, Green Lanterns have carried their power battery stored inside their ring; since there was always a pocket dimension inside it. Since the Corps came back in force, lead by Geoff Johns creative-wise, they complain about not being able to recharge every now and then. And guess what? In this issue, they talk about the pocket dimension all lantern corps use, and Krona says he discovered it.
You can't keep using the not-able-to-recharge plot device, Geoff and team.
DISSECT-O-METER: N/A, since this is the correct usage. There are, however, numerous art dissections.
<-------------------------------->
"IDES OF DICTIONARY."
TITLE: Ides Of Blood (DC/Wildstorm).
ISSUE: 06 of 06.
CULPRIT: Stuart C. Paul (writer).
DISSECTION: "Proscribing" is forbidding, not mandating.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WE'VE GOT OUR TOP ANALYSTS WORKING ON THIS!"
TITLE: Iron Man 2.0 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Nick Spencer (writer).
DISSECTION: Iron Man 2.0? Oh, yes, because it's not enough to be "the black Iron Man", now War Machine doesn't even have a book to his name? Now, on to the dissections... the plot goes like this: a scientist/engineer in a top level US military think-tank dies, and suddenly, his inventions show up in the hands of terrorists. But he could have never gotten his designs out of the think-tank because it's got very tight security, and no communications to the outside are allowed.
His scant personal belongings are in a box, and a team of analysts is going through them... but they find no clue. Prominent in a panel is his organ donor card... and nobody thought of checking where his organs went... and how in places where they ended up in transplant recipients, large quantities of materials needed to build his projects are being purchased. Come on, Spencer, in the Marvel Universe, one of several important things you'd look for would be some sort of DNA/organic computer storage in his organs! COME ON!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SCHEDULED SCANS."
TITLE: Iron Man 2.0 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Nick Spencer (writer).
DISSECTION: Oh, it doesn't end there. War Machine is going through the case with the analysts, and asks if the guy could have been a mutant. Of course he couldn't, the analysts answer, because the Feds seize Cerebro four times a year and do a sweep". Yes, right. The X-Men will allow the government to walk in and do a mutant search four times a year. As if. Haven't you read the countless stories where this exact kind of thing is opposed by the X-Men? Strongly opposed?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. And to boot, pulling a badly-written-Batman, War Machine asks if there was a chance of the guy becoming a ghost, and says he's asking something stupid. Really, when you've fought side by side with Thor, are in a team with Valkyrie, and have faced the supernatural every other week? Please. On top of that, the "War Machine Saga" section at the end of the book refers to "Stark's recent decision" to stop manufacturing weapons. Yeah, recent as of his most earliest appearances as a comic book character...
<-------------------------------->
"FADED LEGACY."
TITLE: Iron Man Legacy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Damien Lucchese (production), and/or Ralph Macchio (editor) & Charlie Beckerman (assistant editor), and web content employees.
DISSECTION: Marvel Comics includes no creator credits in this issue, except for last name of writer, artist, inker and colorist on the cover... and to make it worse, on the Marvel website credits Tim Bradstreet as writer, penciller, inker, colorist and letterer (Make sure you click on Stories/Iron Man Legacy on the middle of the webpage to see the Bradstreet credits). Tim, you're pulling full duty, and people like Fred Van Lente take the credit! :) (J/K, BTW)
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Tony Stark's eyes are colored brown, and there's an accented letter that's smaller than it should.
<-------------------------------->
"99 DISSECTIONS AND THIS IS ONE."
TITLE: Justice League Of America/The 99 (DC/Teshkeel).
ISSUE: 05 of 06.
CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza & Stuart Moore (writers) and/or Tom Derenick (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this scene out, tell me what you can find... keep in mind that it's something that might be blamed on both writers and penciller, or either... so it's not a badly drawn character, or a spelling error, to name a couple of options that are out.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Wonder Woman's costume is drawn with some weird shoulder pads, on another note.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, BROTHER!"
TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe A To Z Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen and/or Mike O'Sullivan (head writers/coordinators).
DISSECTION: I know this happens in other types of fiction, and in similar ways, but I'm "worried" about it superhero comics, and in a specific kind of situation. I'm not talking about how the characters themselves will perceive these relations, but more from a detached point of view. What am I talking about? Genetically-engineered "siblings".
I'm not talking about clones (an exact copy of a person), but of similar creations. In particular, this question arose from the Marvel character Lyra, who was created by splicing DNA from Thundra and Hulk. While the final result might be similar to what is achieved through in-vitro fertilization; she's not precisely created by fertilizing one of Thundra's eggs with one of Hulk's sperm.
However, Marvel's character profile handbooks, in the usual "known relatives" or "relatives" section lists Hulk as her "father", and Hulk's children Skaar and Hiro-Kala (which he conceived naturally with Caiera) as her "half-brothers", and so on.
Now, I understand the biological reasoning behind considering those relations the same as the ones in a "traditional" family, or even considering people conceived by artificial insemination (if my father donated sperm and I found out I have a sibling from a woman he never even met)... but shouldn't an character profile (which is supposed to be informative) list those relatives with terms such as "genetic father" or "genetic half-brother"? They do list other characters in her extended family with terms such as "step-mother", and in other profiles they use specific designations for adoptive siblings and parents... why not for these relations?
So, while I can't consider branding these characters as "sister" or brother", I can consider an error to make distinctions when it comes to step relations or adoptive relations, but not for this kind of relations.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SMOKING."
TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe A To Z Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen and/or Mike O'Sullivan (head writers/coordinators).
DISSECTION: Mesmero's said to occasionally smoke tobacco, which is something that apparently, needs to be listed in the "abilities/accessories" section of his profile... ???
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"MANY CRISES..."
TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).
DISSECTION: The search for missing Kryptonite from before Infinite Crisis called by Ted Kord is shown as "years ago, many crises yet to be faced"... given the kind of timeline in DC comics, even taking into account the "52" year; it can't be that many years ago, it could be as much as three, four stretching it. Yes, they don't use the word "many", but that kind of sentence is meant to be used for something that was a long time ago; and the "many crises" is also a hyperbole.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, the new Rocket Red's hair should be blond, but it's colored brown, and Bruce Wayne's Batman belt is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
One hundred and three dissections, with an average of 7.7 Bazzars. Wow. Our last high rating was a 7.6 a couple of years ago, and our highest one was 8.1 in column #20. Let's get the Moments Of The Week(s) done with and end this column. From 02/09, Atomic Robo gets his first kiss (back in 1930):
Hmm... metallic tasting! Of course, after learning that his little robot is having a romantic dalliance, Tesla wants to have "the talk" with him:
I laughed out loud. Now, one Moment from 02/16... what will rise in Darwking Duck?
DUCKTHULU!!! And now a few from 02/23, first, Hogun the grim hails a train:
... stops it, more like it. Then, more Robo romantic moments:
That's what happens when you date a robot. Next, what's a good outfit to wear to a funeral? Let's ask Storm, shall we?
Wow, in perfect taste! And from Star Wars: Legacy: Wars...
IT'S TRAP!!! OR MORE THAN ONE!!! And last, what does Dazzler do best?
DISCO, BABY, DISCO! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
02/09 "Lightning guns! I shoot those all the time. Sometimes they don't even explode." Atomic Robo, Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art of Science #3.
02/16 "The real John Constantine is a stranger to me. He's a shadow at the end of the street, a pale face at the window. The real John Constantine scares the fucking shit out of me because I've seen what he's capable of." John Constantine, Hellblazer #276.
02/23 "Genius is often little more than the ability to see connections no one else can." Nikola Tesla, Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art of Science #4.
Yeah, I'm late, and still behind. Move along. Still time to vote on the Autopsy Awards, and you can become a fan of the column in the Facebook page. Last column's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe, who correctly pointed out that the TARDIS' exterior was too large. One more badge and you make Captain!
The Dissector's Picks Of Week 02/09 are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art of Science #3; whenever there's an Atomic Robo book out, it's hard not to choose it as the best book. It's fun, it's witty, it's well written... and it's pulp! Worst Book Of The Week was Superman #708. The art by Eddy Barrows (inks by Mater and Ferreira), and colors by Rod Reis weren’t as bad as previous installment... but the story, man, the story... Chris Roberson does his best to script the JMS train wreck that wastes one issue of the already boring "Superman walks around the USA" arc ramming new/old/different Wonder Woman down our throats. Gawd... Cover Of The Week, by Bill Sienkiewicz, was the only redeeming feature of DC Universe: Legacies #9.
Week 02/16's Best Book was Hellblazer #276. It's no surprise that Peter Milligan understands Hellblazer, and while it's no old school mid-to-late 90s Constantine, it's still good old British blue-collar magic entertainment. Simon Bisley's art, with Brian Buccellato's colors, gives us that make me think of New Wave and Punk album covers and posters. Worst Book was Superman/Batman #81. Remember when this book was good? Cover Of The Week is by Gerald Parel and Dustin Weaver, from S.H.I.E.L.D. #6. The book might be a weird science, revisionist history, look-there-is-Tesla-and-Newton-and-Leonardo-and-Galileo orgy, and it's just a tad short of being unreadable, plot-wise... but it's quite nice, visually.
On week 02/23, I couldn't pick Atomic Robo as best book, because Detective Comics #874 was very good. Scott Snyder wrote an actual detective story (starring Commissioner Gordon), and Francesco Francavilla's full art is just perfect for the tale. Namor: The First Mutant #7 was the Worst Book this week... wake me up when the wandering-through-a-hell-dimension snorefest ends, yes? I want to see underwater battles. Cover Of The Week is from Detective Comics #874, also by Francesco Francavilla. And The Rundown is too long, so it was posted previously. Click on that link to see it; if I included it here it would take up too much space.<-------------------------------->
"RED SCARE."
TITLE: Black Terror (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 11-13.
CULPRIT: Adriano Lucas and Vinicius Andrade (colorists).
DISSECTION: Sidney tells us that a character in Black Terror was miscolored for several issues; in "(...) Black Terror #14, it was shown that the lower part of her face, below the line, was colored red, which means that she had been miscolored before."
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, and a badge for Sidney; who's one badge away from making Commander.
<-------------------------------->
"NITBUSTER."
TITLE: Blockbusters Of The Marvel Universe (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen and Mike O'Sullivan (head writers/coordinators), unspecified writers, one colorist.
DISSECTION: Too many errors to list (ten in total), not as bad as usual, but still... a Marvel handbook. I wasn't even going to give this an entry, it was going to be part of the Rundown; but Sidney sent in two of them, so he gets two badges. Congratulations, Sidney, you've been promoted to Commander!
DISSECT-O-METER: Blanket rating of 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR ME WRONG."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 195.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe was busy, and gets another badge for pointing out that I had credited John Ridgway as a colorist, and he's a penciller. Congratulations, Captain JohnnyDoe.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. it's made worse because it was a DT!, not a regular dissection.
<-------------------------------->
"FLASH NAME DANCE."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Adam Schlagman & Eddie Berganza (editors).
DISSECTION: Sidney gets another badge by telling us the following "The second mistake comes from Flash #9. Richard Zajac did the inking for the issue, but the book switched editors in the middle of production, and the new editor, Adam Schlagman, forgot to credit him. I know this because Richard works at the local comic store."
Sidney, tell Richard I say hi.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IS THAT A LANTERN IN YOUR POCKET, OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?"
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 62.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's not talk about how the badges and rings are the wrong shape, or even change shapes within the same issue. So... remember how I've complained about the "ring... charge... low..." plot device being used too often? How they make a point of showing how when they're in a fight, Green Lanterns don't have their power battery handy to recharge... even though recharging takes a second (they don't actually have to say the oath)?
Traditionally, Green Lanterns have carried their power battery stored inside their ring; since there was always a pocket dimension inside it. Since the Corps came back in force, lead by Geoff Johns creative-wise, they complain about not being able to recharge every now and then. And guess what? In this issue, they talk about the pocket dimension all lantern corps use, and Krona says he discovered it.
You can't keep using the not-able-to-recharge plot device, Geoff and team.
DISSECT-O-METER: N/A, since this is the correct usage. There are, however, numerous art dissections.
<-------------------------------->
"IDES OF DICTIONARY."
TITLE: Ides Of Blood (DC/Wildstorm).
ISSUE: 06 of 06.
CULPRIT: Stuart C. Paul (writer).
DISSECTION: "Proscribing" is forbidding, not mandating.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'VE GOT OUR TOP ANALYSTS WORKING ON THIS!"
TITLE: Iron Man 2.0 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Nick Spencer (writer).
DISSECTION: Iron Man 2.0? Oh, yes, because it's not enough to be "the black Iron Man", now War Machine doesn't even have a book to his name? Now, on to the dissections... the plot goes like this: a scientist/engineer in a top level US military think-tank dies, and suddenly, his inventions show up in the hands of terrorists. But he could have never gotten his designs out of the think-tank because it's got very tight security, and no communications to the outside are allowed.
His scant personal belongings are in a box, and a team of analysts is going through them... but they find no clue. Prominent in a panel is his organ donor card... and nobody thought of checking where his organs went... and how in places where they ended up in transplant recipients, large quantities of materials needed to build his projects are being purchased. Come on, Spencer, in the Marvel Universe, one of several important things you'd look for would be some sort of DNA/organic computer storage in his organs! COME ON!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SCHEDULED SCANS."
TITLE: Iron Man 2.0 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Nick Spencer (writer).
DISSECTION: Oh, it doesn't end there. War Machine is going through the case with the analysts, and asks if the guy could have been a mutant. Of course he couldn't, the analysts answer, because the Feds seize Cerebro four times a year and do a sweep". Yes, right. The X-Men will allow the government to walk in and do a mutant search four times a year. As if. Haven't you read the countless stories where this exact kind of thing is opposed by the X-Men? Strongly opposed?
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. And to boot, pulling a badly-written-Batman, War Machine asks if there was a chance of the guy becoming a ghost, and says he's asking something stupid. Really, when you've fought side by side with Thor, are in a team with Valkyrie, and have faced the supernatural every other week? Please. On top of that, the "War Machine Saga" section at the end of the book refers to "Stark's recent decision" to stop manufacturing weapons. Yeah, recent as of his most earliest appearances as a comic book character...
<-------------------------------->
"FADED LEGACY."
TITLE: Iron Man Legacy (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Damien Lucchese (production), and/or Ralph Macchio (editor) & Charlie Beckerman (assistant editor), and web content employees.
DISSECTION: Marvel Comics includes no creator credits in this issue, except for last name of writer, artist, inker and colorist on the cover... and to make it worse, on the Marvel website credits Tim Bradstreet as writer, penciller, inker, colorist and letterer (Make sure you click on Stories/Iron Man Legacy on the middle of the webpage to see the Bradstreet credits). Tim, you're pulling full duty, and people like Fred Van Lente take the credit! :) (J/K, BTW)
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Tony Stark's eyes are colored brown, and there's an accented letter that's smaller than it should.
<-------------------------------->
"99 DISSECTIONS AND THIS IS ONE."
TITLE: Justice League Of America/The 99 (DC/Teshkeel).
ISSUE: 05 of 06.
CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza & Stuart Moore (writers) and/or Tom Derenick (penciller).
DISSECTION: Check this scene out, tell me what you can find... keep in mind that it's something that might be blamed on both writers and penciller, or either... so it's not a badly drawn character, or a spelling error, to name a couple of options that are out.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Wonder Woman's costume is drawn with some weird shoulder pads, on another note.
<-------------------------------->
"OH, BROTHER!"
TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe A To Z Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen and/or Mike O'Sullivan (head writers/coordinators).
DISSECTION: I know this happens in other types of fiction, and in similar ways, but I'm "worried" about it superhero comics, and in a specific kind of situation. I'm not talking about how the characters themselves will perceive these relations, but more from a detached point of view. What am I talking about? Genetically-engineered "siblings".
I'm not talking about clones (an exact copy of a person), but of similar creations. In particular, this question arose from the Marvel character Lyra, who was created by splicing DNA from Thundra and Hulk. While the final result might be similar to what is achieved through in-vitro fertilization; she's not precisely created by fertilizing one of Thundra's eggs with one of Hulk's sperm.
However, Marvel's character profile handbooks, in the usual "known relatives" or "relatives" section lists Hulk as her "father", and Hulk's children Skaar and Hiro-Kala (which he conceived naturally with Caiera) as her "half-brothers", and so on.
Now, I understand the biological reasoning behind considering those relations the same as the ones in a "traditional" family, or even considering people conceived by artificial insemination (if my father donated sperm and I found out I have a sibling from a woman he never even met)... but shouldn't an character profile (which is supposed to be informative) list those relatives with terms such as "genetic father" or "genetic half-brother"? They do list other characters in her extended family with terms such as "step-mother", and in other profiles they use specific designations for adoptive siblings and parents... why not for these relations?
So, while I can't consider branding these characters as "sister" or brother", I can consider an error to make distinctions when it comes to step relations or adoptive relations, but not for this kind of relations.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SMOKING."
TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe A To Z Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen and/or Mike O'Sullivan (head writers/coordinators).
DISSECTION: Mesmero's said to occasionally smoke tobacco, which is something that apparently, needs to be listed in the "abilities/accessories" section of his profile... ???
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MANY CRISES..."
TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).
DISSECTION: The search for missing Kryptonite from before Infinite Crisis called by Ted Kord is shown as "years ago, many crises yet to be faced"... given the kind of timeline in DC comics, even taking into account the "52" year; it can't be that many years ago, it could be as much as three, four stretching it. Yes, they don't use the word "many", but that kind of sentence is meant to be used for something that was a long time ago; and the "many crises" is also a hyperbole.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Also, the new Rocket Red's hair should be blond, but it's colored brown, and Bruce Wayne's Batman belt is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
One hundred and three dissections, with an average of 7.7 Bazzars. Wow. Our last high rating was a 7.6 a couple of years ago, and our highest one was 8.1 in column #20. Let's get the Moments Of The Week(s) done with and end this column. From 02/09, Atomic Robo gets his first kiss (back in 1930):
Hmm... metallic tasting! Of course, after learning that his little robot is having a romantic dalliance, Tesla wants to have "the talk" with him:
I laughed out loud. Now, one Moment from 02/16... what will rise in Darwking Duck?
DUCKTHULU!!! And now a few from 02/23, first, Hogun the grim hails a train:
... stops it, more like it. Then, more Robo romantic moments:
That's what happens when you date a robot. Next, what's a good outfit to wear to a funeral? Let's ask Storm, shall we?
Wow, in perfect taste! And from Star Wars: Legacy: Wars...
IT'S TRAP!!! OR MORE THAN ONE!!! And last, what does Dazzler do best?
DISCO, BABY, DISCO! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The Dissector #187.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Thirty-year-old rare Islay malt, and you chuck blocks of frozen water into it?" John Constantine, Hellblazer #273.
Now, this is called being up to date... of course, there's no guarantee that I'll get next column out in time; but anyway. This is the column for books released on 11/17. Last column's DT! wasn't cracked, but there wasn't enough time between columns I guess... wait, as I was getting ready to post this column, Donald313 did it. The problem was that Chameleon mentions committing treason, but he's a Russian citizen, which means he can't be charged with treason against the U.S., can he?
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week this time are: Best Book Of The Week is Hellboy: Double Feature Of Evil. If it wasn't for Corben's art (which is still spectacular), this would fit right in with the early Hellboy adventures. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy Hellboy, but it used to be lighter, even with all the horror and darkness... nowadays, it's become too embroiled in its own mythology, and I truly miss the "old days". Worst Book Of The Week was almost, almost, Superman #704; with its cheap shot story about domestic and child violence.. but at least that comic was passably written and drawn. No, this time it's Superman/Batman #78... first a story about "who would win" between the title characters, from the perspective of two kids; and then a very crappy angsty story about Power Girl (dealing with her already resolved "being from another universe" grief) and Huntress (rehashing her "boohoo my mafia family was killed by more mafia" sob story). This book is pointless, pull the plug on it already.
I don't have much to say about the Cover Of The Week except that it's from Darkwing Duck #6, it's by my fellow Uruguayan Diego Jourdan, and it's a homage to a great Batman cover of yesteryear. Not the first, but a good one.
The Rundown: The Authority: The Lost Year (Swift's ears are pointy again), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit lettering, Jarvis with a full head of hair and blond, Hawkeye doesn't know there's a red Hulk, inconsistent "next issue" lettering), Batman: The Return (Lucius Fox does not look like Morgan Freeman in the comics!), Brightest Day (accented letter), Ghost Projekt (weird dialogue), Green Lantern Corps V2 (several badges and other uniform errors), Hellblazer (the magic circle John left open last issue, the same one Gloria the succubus points to as open... is closed), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering, Justice's current costume should expose his ears, an empathic link should not enable you to have a conversation or send images; only emotions), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's bat emblem is wrong , Zatanna's eyes are colored purple instead of blue), Knights Of The Dinner Table (a dialogue that's pointing to Weird Pete is actually Gordo's), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (two incomplete power listings, and why would Gates need help from Chameleon in adapting to high humidity environments?), Osborn ("preëminent"?), Superman/Batman (Luthor's costume on the cover is wrong, "Powergirl" instead of "Power Girl" at one point), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored incorrectly).
<-------------------------------->
"ATMAN."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 704.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
DISSECTION: Mister Sinister, new reader (or at least new poster, I don't remember him posting before) noticed that credits in this issue say "RITTEN" instead of "WRITTEN". Badge for you, Sinister, and welcome to the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Dick's chest emblem is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"BLURRED DIALOGUES."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"TIGHT PANTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but I won't buy that Larfleeze can steal Barry Allen's wallet... if he keeps it on his person, it's probably stored with his clothes inside his ring; because there's no space in Barry's tights (where he pats his leg after noticing Larfleeze has the wallet)...
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!"
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ESPAIDERGIR."
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's go over this again... Anya's original codename was "Araña"... "ARAÑA"... NOT "ARANA"!!! CAN WE FUCKING REMEMBER THAT IN HER OWN FUCKING BOOK FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!!?!!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, any problem with that?
<-------------------------------->
"MAIDEN OF STEEL DISSECTED."
TITLE: Supergirl V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Wil Moss (assistant editor) and/or Matt Idelson (editor)
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's no way Lois Lane is going to be admitted into Star Labs while wearing a scarf covering most of her face (Muslim-style). I can see Gangbuster letting her in like that, but when she meets him, she's already inside.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR FACTOR."
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 211.
CULPRIT: Matt Milla (colorist).
DISSECTION: It's not Jeromy Cox, but what's up with this book? First Layla's eyes are blue, then green (the right color). Then, Madrox's eyes start out brown, as they should be, then change to green, then to brown again.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
This time the average was 6.1 Bazzars in forty-three dissections... I thought it'd be a bit higher. Moments Of The Week! Modern day Justice sees his past self and is distraught by what he wore (pictured right)... oh, right, because what you wear now (pictured left) is sooo much better!!!
Then, from Green Lantern Corps and Batman, two unfortunate sound effects:
And from Tiny Titans, why the hell is Jor-El in league with Zod and his cronies?
Creepy! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Thirty-year-old rare Islay malt, and you chuck blocks of frozen water into it?" John Constantine, Hellblazer #273.
Now, this is called being up to date... of course, there's no guarantee that I'll get next column out in time; but anyway. This is the column for books released on 11/17. Last column's DT! wasn't cracked, but there wasn't enough time between columns I guess... wait, as I was getting ready to post this column, Donald313 did it. The problem was that Chameleon mentions committing treason, but he's a Russian citizen, which means he can't be charged with treason against the U.S., can he?
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week this time are: Best Book Of The Week is Hellboy: Double Feature Of Evil. If it wasn't for Corben's art (which is still spectacular), this would fit right in with the early Hellboy adventures. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy Hellboy, but it used to be lighter, even with all the horror and darkness... nowadays, it's become too embroiled in its own mythology, and I truly miss the "old days". Worst Book Of The Week was almost, almost, Superman #704; with its cheap shot story about domestic and child violence.. but at least that comic was passably written and drawn. No, this time it's Superman/Batman #78... first a story about "who would win" between the title characters, from the perspective of two kids; and then a very crappy angsty story about Power Girl (dealing with her already resolved "being from another universe" grief) and Huntress (rehashing her "boohoo my mafia family was killed by more mafia" sob story). This book is pointless, pull the plug on it already.
I don't have much to say about the Cover Of The Week except that it's from Darkwing Duck #6, it's by my fellow Uruguayan Diego Jourdan, and it's a homage to a great Batman cover of yesteryear. Not the first, but a good one.The Rundown: The Authority: The Lost Year (Swift's ears are pointy again), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit lettering, Jarvis with a full head of hair and blond, Hawkeye doesn't know there's a red Hulk, inconsistent "next issue" lettering), Batman: The Return (Lucius Fox does not look like Morgan Freeman in the comics!), Brightest Day (accented letter), Ghost Projekt (weird dialogue), Green Lantern Corps V2 (several badges and other uniform errors), Hellblazer (the magic circle John left open last issue, the same one Gloria the succubus points to as open... is closed), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering, Justice's current costume should expose his ears, an empathic link should not enable you to have a conversation or send images; only emotions), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's bat emblem is wrong , Zatanna's eyes are colored purple instead of blue), Knights Of The Dinner Table (a dialogue that's pointing to Weird Pete is actually Gordo's), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (two incomplete power listings, and why would Gates need help from Chameleon in adapting to high humidity environments?), Osborn ("preëminent"?), Superman/Batman (Luthor's costume on the cover is wrong, "Powergirl" instead of "Power Girl" at one point), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored incorrectly).
<-------------------------------->
"ATMAN."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 704.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
DISSECTION: Mister Sinister, new reader (or at least new poster, I don't remember him posting before) noticed that credits in this issue say "RITTEN" instead of "WRITTEN". Badge for you, Sinister, and welcome to the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Dick's chest emblem is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"BLURRED DIALOGUES."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"TIGHT PANTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but I won't buy that Larfleeze can steal Barry Allen's wallet... if he keeps it on his person, it's probably stored with his clothes inside his ring; because there's no space in Barry's tights (where he pats his leg after noticing Larfleeze has the wallet)...
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!"
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ESPAIDERGIR."
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's go over this again... Anya's original codename was "Araña"... "ARAÑA"... NOT "ARANA"!!! CAN WE FUCKING REMEMBER THAT IN HER OWN FUCKING BOOK FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!!?!!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, any problem with that?
<-------------------------------->
"MAIDEN OF STEEL DISSECTED."
TITLE: Supergirl V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Wil Moss (assistant editor) and/or Matt Idelson (editor)
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's no way Lois Lane is going to be admitted into Star Labs while wearing a scarf covering most of her face (Muslim-style). I can see Gangbuster letting her in like that, but when she meets him, she's already inside.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR FACTOR."
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 211.
CULPRIT: Matt Milla (colorist).
DISSECTION: It's not Jeromy Cox, but what's up with this book? First Layla's eyes are blue, then green (the right color). Then, Madrox's eyes start out brown, as they should be, then change to green, then to brown again.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
This time the average was 6.1 Bazzars in forty-three dissections... I thought it'd be a bit higher. Moments Of The Week! Modern day Justice sees his past self and is distraught by what he wore (pictured right)... oh, right, because what you wear now (pictured left) is sooo much better!!!
Then, from Green Lantern Corps and Batman, two unfortunate sound effects:
And from Tiny Titans, why the hell is Jor-El in league with Zod and his cronies?
Creepy! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Dissector #183.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"You can see why he gives us so much pleasure. All that arcane knowledge in the hands of a self-destructive fuck-up. It makes for wonderful viewing." Nergal, about John Constantine, Hellblazer #272.
Hello all! This is the fifth anniversary column of The Dissector!!! Formerly known as The Nitpicker's Column, it was first published in issue #549 of the Comic Book Electronic Network Magazine, on 11/11/05. It's been five years in which a lot has happened to me, including a new job (not long after starting the column); my son was already a year old back then, but he's obviously grown up a lot. I'm older, my hair's greyer, and I'm fatter... I might be wiser too, but I doubt it.
Culprits in that first column were Haden Blackman (writer of a Rogue Squadron mini), Warren Elis (writer for JLA Declassified), Greg Rucka (writer, for Queen & Country), Brian Michael Bendis (writer for Hous Of M), Jeromy Cox & Guy Major (colorists, for Infinite Crisis), Phil Jimenez (artist, for Infinite Crisis), and Nick J. Napolitano (letterer, for Infinite Crisis). Jimenez and Napolitano don't come around much, and Blackman hasn't been on the column again, basically because he's mostly written Clone Wars Adventures, Jango Fett, and other Star Wars stuff from characters and eras I don't care about... however, he did write the comic for The Force Unleashed, in which, apart from considering it lame, I didn't find any errors in... and I have The Force Unleashed II in a reading pile... so... you never know.
Bendis has come back regularly, but rarely for anything too big, and Rucka has been around less, but no horrible mistakes either. Major is one of the most prolific colorists around, so he obviously pops up here and there; like anyone else who publishes that much work. Jeromy Cox, however... well, he's responsible for the Robin cape-debacle, one of my favorite dissections of all time, as early as column #2, and he's often featured in the column for getting like, not one eye color in an issue right.
Funny thing? I quote myself from that column when explaining the layout and working of the column "(...) the main responsible for the mistake is, usually the writer, sometimes the artist, and, rarely, somebody else, like a letterer or colorist (...)". Yeah, rarely the letterer or colorist... boy, was I naive of what? Read that first column, and tell me if you see some improvement on my writing. I've said on other anniversaries that I did notice a difference, but now... I really don't.
On another personal note, I just made contact with a fellow comic blogger by the name of Martin Gray, and he reviewed "Teenagers From The Future", the book about the Legion Of Super-Heroes I wrote an essay for. Not only that, he wrote the following:
"My favourite essay is Martin A Perez's Fashion from the future, or 'I swear, Computo Forced Me To Wear This'. It's written at the level of a great fanzine article - light, entertaining and insightful."
Ego boosts are good for the soul, my friends. I'd like to also invite you to "like" the Facebook page for Teenagers From The Future.
Let's get on with the actual column, shall we? This is for comics released on 10/20; as usual, with some older stuff thrown in when I read it after publishing date. Here are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week: Best Book Of The Week was The Sixth Gun #5; a pretty interesting (if not necessarily groundbreaking) script by Cullen Bunn; good art (and lettering) by Brian Hurtt... and I'm assuming acceptable colors are by Hurtt as well, for lack of any other credit. A supernatural western adventure with magic guns? Win. Worst Book Of The Week was Soldier Zero #1... first of all, the whole "STAN LEE'S..." shtick gets tiresome, I love Stan, but he hasn't done anything worth getting excited about than play "Stan Lee" in numerous media outlets... his writing days are long away from his heyday. And if I open the book and find he's not even credited as creator or plotter, but just as "Grand Poobah", it gets even more difficult to take this seriously. Paul Cornell's writing is not close to his usual level, Javier Pina's art is not bad, but it's not enough to turn this into a book that's worth anything beyond a quick flip in the comic shop. As I tweeted after reading it: "Soldier Zero = Captain Marvel (Batson) + Blue Beetle (Reyes) + Green Lantern (Jordan) + Hulk/4 = Bland. Sorry Stan."
The Rundown: Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne (Tim Drake says he was Batman's partner longer than anyone, and I don't think that adds up, he went solo pretty early in his career, I don't think it nets him more time partnering with Batman than it does Dick Grayson), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Commissioner Gordon (accented letter), DC Universe Halloween Special 2010 (Spanish dialogue from Blue Beetle is within translation brackets, but untranslated), Hellblazer (the plural of succubus is "succubi", not "succubae"), Hulk V3 (the designation of the comets changes from one story to the other), Ides Of Blood ("pleaures" instead of "pleasures"), Justice League Of America V2 (Batman's chest emblem is wrong, and it changes a few times throughout the issue), Power Girl V2 (Batman's belt, glove and chest emblem are wrong), Shadowland: Power Man (characters "refresh browser history" to see what another one was looking at on his computer... but you don't "refresh browser history"... you refresh a page you have on your browser, or you check the browser history...), Star Trek: Captains Log: Jellico (a science officer's uniform changes color to a security/engineering uniform between pages), Supergirl V6 ("supplicants", again... dictionaries don't bite), X-Factor V3 (Wolfsbane and Rictor's eyes are colored incorrectly... buy Jeromy Cox!).
<-------------------------------->
"LET'S START WITH ME, SHALL WE?"
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: #182
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I wrote "R'as" instead of "Ra's", and JohnnyDoe called me on it, getting a badge. As a Commander, JohnnyDoe is the highest active member of the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps, after myself (I might be the Grand Admiral, but I'm there on the frontlines with you, guys). High Admiral Nysie holds an honorary rank for designing my logo; and ViceAdmiral Snakebyte is not among my regular readers lately. Keep at it, JD, you need ten more badges to make Captain.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS? WHAT IS THIS, MOSAIC?"
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Tyler Kirkham (penciller) and Nei Rufino (colorist)
DISSECTION: What? Bystanders on Korugar are colored like humans, some lighter, others darker, and it's not a trick of the light or anything, because in the same light as Kyle Rayner, many share his skin color. But that's not the worst thing... they're dressed, unequivocally, in Earth clothes: jackets, baseball caps, hoodies. People from Korugar have pink or red skin, and they certainly shouldn't be wearing normal Earth garments.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, double. Also, Sinestro's ring is colored like his skin in a panel (that's where all the pink ink went!).
<-------------------------------->
"FUCKING FIRES, HOW DO THEY WORK?"
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Cosmic Boy goes to the Legion Academy, and while he's reviewing the students, a fire breaks out nearby and they are the closest ones to respond. They go to the scene, and one student that has variable powers (Variable Lad), in this case uses them to become super smart and learn what the best way of putting out the fire is: using the powers of another student who can control chemical reactions (Chemical Kid), because fire is an oxidation. Uhm... and they needed a super intelligent being to figure that out?
Regardless of him being a student and not a battle-hardened Legionnaire, a guy whose powers are to control chemical reactions should think of that first, particularly in the 30th century, with the kind of education they have, plus any further education someone with chemical controlling powers should get on the subject. Controlling the oxidation should be a gut response from Chemical Kid, the same as Bataranging or punching a bank robber is Batman's!
Not to mention the fact that there's two veteran Legionnaires there (Cosmic Boy and Duplicate Girl), and a handful of other students, most of whom should have a pretty advanced science education when compared to today's teenagers or young adults. Anyone today with a barely decent education should know that a fire is a chemical reaction.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, there a couple of smaller accented letters, missing powers on Timber Wolf's description, and Gravity Kid (complete with a skin-showing costume a la Cosmic Boy at one point, but not that revealing, as he has pants) becomes super-heavy and uses "his mass" to create a firebreak (a crater, actually)... when it should be his weight. In the election "ad", Tenzil Kem's eyes are colored incorrectly. Still, despite some dissections, this book remains a great read.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD SCHOOL."
TITLE: The Nitpicker (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer without a moustache).
DISSECTION: Yup... the first column. I re-read it for this anniversary, and noticed I billed Jeromy Cox as "Jeremy". Good thing I didn't spell his last "Cocks".
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FREE DOESN'T HAVE TO MEAN CHEAP."
TITLE: Spider-Man Saga V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: One Shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (handbook section overseer).
DISSECTION: The credits on one of the Kraven family profiles say "Art by Barry Kitson with Phillipe Briones (inset)", but there is no inset picture in the entry. Sidney spotted this one, and he gets a badge.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT/THIS!"
TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 77.
CULPRIT: Joshua Williamson (writer).
DISSECTION: What's wrong here? You must be up with current (six months to a year) comics for this one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, an average of 6.1 Bazzars in thirty-two dissections. Cover Of The Week is Jim Lee's variant for Legion Of Super-Heroes #6:
Great "Brainy as the Thinker" cover. Simple, yet effective. Now, Moments Of The Week... first up, from an old issue of Knights Of The Dinner table, what happens when you trick players at a convention into joining a live action game of D-Day?
In the KODTverse, that... Next, curious as to why the Legion's newest "recruit" has been behaving heroically?
Uh-oh... this CAN'T backfire... Back to the present, the Insider is impressed that Oracle seems to know who he is:
YOU'RE WEARING A YELLOW UTILITY BELT! YOU HAVE A SUIT THAT GIVES YOU THE POWERS OF CLASSIC JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBERS! YOUR GLOVES HAVE BATMAN SPIKES!!! AND SHE'S THE FOREMOST EXPERT IN INFORMATION IN THE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY!!! STOP TREATING THIS INSIDER SHIT AS MYSTERIOUS, IT'S OBVIOUS TO ALL HIS FUCKING ALLIES (AND ANYONE WHO CAN ADD 2+2) THAT THAT'S BATMAN!!!!!
*sigh* What's next? Oh, I know, the solution to all problems:
LASERS! And for the end, another KODT moment:
I don't know, I've played with some people I'm not sure what step of the evolutionary ladder they were on... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"You can see why he gives us so much pleasure. All that arcane knowledge in the hands of a self-destructive fuck-up. It makes for wonderful viewing." Nergal, about John Constantine, Hellblazer #272.
Hello all! This is the fifth anniversary column of The Dissector!!! Formerly known as The Nitpicker's Column, it was first published in issue #549 of the Comic Book Electronic Network Magazine, on 11/11/05. It's been five years in which a lot has happened to me, including a new job (not long after starting the column); my son was already a year old back then, but he's obviously grown up a lot. I'm older, my hair's greyer, and I'm fatter... I might be wiser too, but I doubt it.
Culprits in that first column were Haden Blackman (writer of a Rogue Squadron mini), Warren Elis (writer for JLA Declassified), Greg Rucka (writer, for Queen & Country), Brian Michael Bendis (writer for Hous Of M), Jeromy Cox & Guy Major (colorists, for Infinite Crisis), Phil Jimenez (artist, for Infinite Crisis), and Nick J. Napolitano (letterer, for Infinite Crisis). Jimenez and Napolitano don't come around much, and Blackman hasn't been on the column again, basically because he's mostly written Clone Wars Adventures, Jango Fett, and other Star Wars stuff from characters and eras I don't care about... however, he did write the comic for The Force Unleashed, in which, apart from considering it lame, I didn't find any errors in... and I have The Force Unleashed II in a reading pile... so... you never know.
Bendis has come back regularly, but rarely for anything too big, and Rucka has been around less, but no horrible mistakes either. Major is one of the most prolific colorists around, so he obviously pops up here and there; like anyone else who publishes that much work. Jeromy Cox, however... well, he's responsible for the Robin cape-debacle, one of my favorite dissections of all time, as early as column #2, and he's often featured in the column for getting like, not one eye color in an issue right.
Funny thing? I quote myself from that column when explaining the layout and working of the column "(...) the main responsible for the mistake is, usually the writer, sometimes the artist, and, rarely, somebody else, like a letterer or colorist (...)". Yeah, rarely the letterer or colorist... boy, was I naive of what? Read that first column, and tell me if you see some improvement on my writing. I've said on other anniversaries that I did notice a difference, but now... I really don't.
On another personal note, I just made contact with a fellow comic blogger by the name of Martin Gray, and he reviewed "Teenagers From The Future", the book about the Legion Of Super-Heroes I wrote an essay for. Not only that, he wrote the following:
"My favourite essay is Martin A Perez's Fashion from the future, or 'I swear, Computo Forced Me To Wear This'. It's written at the level of a great fanzine article - light, entertaining and insightful."
Ego boosts are good for the soul, my friends. I'd like to also invite you to "like" the Facebook page for Teenagers From The Future.
Let's get on with the actual column, shall we? This is for comics released on 10/20; as usual, with some older stuff thrown in when I read it after publishing date. Here are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week: Best Book Of The Week was The Sixth Gun #5; a pretty interesting (if not necessarily groundbreaking) script by Cullen Bunn; good art (and lettering) by Brian Hurtt... and I'm assuming acceptable colors are by Hurtt as well, for lack of any other credit. A supernatural western adventure with magic guns? Win. Worst Book Of The Week was Soldier Zero #1... first of all, the whole "STAN LEE'S..." shtick gets tiresome, I love Stan, but he hasn't done anything worth getting excited about than play "Stan Lee" in numerous media outlets... his writing days are long away from his heyday. And if I open the book and find he's not even credited as creator or plotter, but just as "Grand Poobah", it gets even more difficult to take this seriously. Paul Cornell's writing is not close to his usual level, Javier Pina's art is not bad, but it's not enough to turn this into a book that's worth anything beyond a quick flip in the comic shop. As I tweeted after reading it: "Soldier Zero = Captain Marvel (Batson) + Blue Beetle (Reyes) + Green Lantern (Jordan) + Hulk/4 = Bland. Sorry Stan."
The Rundown: Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne (Tim Drake says he was Batman's partner longer than anyone, and I don't think that adds up, he went solo pretty early in his career, I don't think it nets him more time partnering with Batman than it does Dick Grayson), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Commissioner Gordon (accented letter), DC Universe Halloween Special 2010 (Spanish dialogue from Blue Beetle is within translation brackets, but untranslated), Hellblazer (the plural of succubus is "succubi", not "succubae"), Hulk V3 (the designation of the comets changes from one story to the other), Ides Of Blood ("pleaures" instead of "pleasures"), Justice League Of America V2 (Batman's chest emblem is wrong, and it changes a few times throughout the issue), Power Girl V2 (Batman's belt, glove and chest emblem are wrong), Shadowland: Power Man (characters "refresh browser history" to see what another one was looking at on his computer... but you don't "refresh browser history"... you refresh a page you have on your browser, or you check the browser history...), Star Trek: Captains Log: Jellico (a science officer's uniform changes color to a security/engineering uniform between pages), Supergirl V6 ("supplicants", again... dictionaries don't bite), X-Factor V3 (Wolfsbane and Rictor's eyes are colored incorrectly... buy Jeromy Cox!).
<-------------------------------->
"LET'S START WITH ME, SHALL WE?"
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: #182
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: I wrote "R'as" instead of "Ra's", and JohnnyDoe called me on it, getting a badge. As a Commander, JohnnyDoe is the highest active member of the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps, after myself (I might be the Grand Admiral, but I'm there on the frontlines with you, guys). High Admiral Nysie holds an honorary rank for designing my logo; and ViceAdmiral Snakebyte is not among my regular readers lately. Keep at it, JD, you need ten more badges to make Captain.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS? WHAT IS THIS, MOSAIC?"
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Tyler Kirkham (penciller) and Nei Rufino (colorist)
DISSECTION: What? Bystanders on Korugar are colored like humans, some lighter, others darker, and it's not a trick of the light or anything, because in the same light as Kyle Rayner, many share his skin color. But that's not the worst thing... they're dressed, unequivocally, in Earth clothes: jackets, baseball caps, hoodies. People from Korugar have pink or red skin, and they certainly shouldn't be wearing normal Earth garments.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, double. Also, Sinestro's ring is colored like his skin in a panel (that's where all the pink ink went!).
<-------------------------------->
"FUCKING FIRES, HOW DO THEY WORK?"
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Cosmic Boy goes to the Legion Academy, and while he's reviewing the students, a fire breaks out nearby and they are the closest ones to respond. They go to the scene, and one student that has variable powers (Variable Lad), in this case uses them to become super smart and learn what the best way of putting out the fire is: using the powers of another student who can control chemical reactions (Chemical Kid), because fire is an oxidation. Uhm... and they needed a super intelligent being to figure that out?
Regardless of him being a student and not a battle-hardened Legionnaire, a guy whose powers are to control chemical reactions should think of that first, particularly in the 30th century, with the kind of education they have, plus any further education someone with chemical controlling powers should get on the subject. Controlling the oxidation should be a gut response from Chemical Kid, the same as Bataranging or punching a bank robber is Batman's!
Not to mention the fact that there's two veteran Legionnaires there (Cosmic Boy and Duplicate Girl), and a handful of other students, most of whom should have a pretty advanced science education when compared to today's teenagers or young adults. Anyone today with a barely decent education should know that a fire is a chemical reaction.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, there a couple of smaller accented letters, missing powers on Timber Wolf's description, and Gravity Kid (complete with a skin-showing costume a la Cosmic Boy at one point, but not that revealing, as he has pants) becomes super-heavy and uses "his mass" to create a firebreak (a crater, actually)... when it should be his weight. In the election "ad", Tenzil Kem's eyes are colored incorrectly. Still, despite some dissections, this book remains a great read.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD SCHOOL."
TITLE: The Nitpicker (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer without a moustache).
DISSECTION: Yup... the first column. I re-read it for this anniversary, and noticed I billed Jeromy Cox as "Jeremy". Good thing I didn't spell his last "Cocks".
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FREE DOESN'T HAVE TO MEAN CHEAP."
TITLE: Spider-Man Saga V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: One Shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (handbook section overseer).
DISSECTION: The credits on one of the Kraven family profiles say "Art by Barry Kitson with Phillipe Briones (inset)", but there is no inset picture in the entry. Sidney spotted this one, and he gets a badge.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT/THIS!"
TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 77.
CULPRIT: Joshua Williamson (writer).
DISSECTION: What's wrong here? You must be up with current (six months to a year) comics for this one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, an average of 6.1 Bazzars in thirty-two dissections. Cover Of The Week is Jim Lee's variant for Legion Of Super-Heroes #6:
Great "Brainy as the Thinker" cover. Simple, yet effective. Now, Moments Of The Week... first up, from an old issue of Knights Of The Dinner table, what happens when you trick players at a convention into joining a live action game of D-Day?
In the KODTverse, that... Next, curious as to why the Legion's newest "recruit" has been behaving heroically?
Uh-oh... this CAN'T backfire... Back to the present, the Insider is impressed that Oracle seems to know who he is:
YOU'RE WEARING A YELLOW UTILITY BELT! YOU HAVE A SUIT THAT GIVES YOU THE POWERS OF CLASSIC JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBERS! YOUR GLOVES HAVE BATMAN SPIKES!!! AND SHE'S THE FOREMOST EXPERT IN INFORMATION IN THE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY!!! STOP TREATING THIS INSIDER SHIT AS MYSTERIOUS, IT'S OBVIOUS TO ALL HIS FUCKING ALLIES (AND ANYONE WHO CAN ADD 2+2) THAT THAT'S BATMAN!!!!!
*sigh* What's next? Oh, I know, the solution to all problems:
LASERS! And for the end, another KODT moment:
I don't know, I've played with some people I'm not sure what step of the evolutionary ladder they were on... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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