(From Fear Itself: The Fearless #2, November 2011.)
Showing posts with label Fear Itself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fear Itself. Show all posts
Monday, November 07, 2011
D-N-D Rejects.
Not surprisingly, Crossbones hits gaming geeks. Also, it reminds me of a Knights Of The Dinner Table storyline.
(From Fear Itself: The Fearless #2, November 2011.)
(From Fear Itself: The Fearless #2, November 2011.)
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Really, Marvel?
Really, Marvel? A @#@$%ing magical dwarf that wants to quit drinking? First Wolverine can't smoke, and now this?
(From Invincible Iron Man #509, October 2011.)
(From Invincible Iron Man #509, October 2011.)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Saturday, October 08, 2011
So, Protector (Noh-Varr, former Marvel Boy) takes control of a bunch (a lot, actually) of old Iron Man armors to stall the Red Skull's Nazi mechas.
Problem is... at the begining of Heroic Age, they made a HUGE point out of the fact that Tony had to sell his all of his old armors to get money to start his new company, Stark Resilient. All he had left was his armor, the Rescue one for Pepper, and Rhodey's War Machine suit. Yeah, he somehow still built Rhodey a 2.0 suit; and I wouldn't put it past him having a few older models stowed away here and there...
But these many, in Avengers Tower, after all the fuss they made out of him selling his armors? This is just Bendis being lazy and not thinking of a different way to solve the story. It would have made a lot of sense if he had old Guardsman armors stashed away, or armors confiscated from villains; stuff he couldn't very well sell because it wasn't really his.
(From The Avengers V4 #17, September 2011.)
Problem is... at the begining of Heroic Age, they made a HUGE point out of the fact that Tony had to sell his all of his old armors to get money to start his new company, Stark Resilient. All he had left was his armor, the Rescue one for Pepper, and Rhodey's War Machine suit. Yeah, he somehow still built Rhodey a 2.0 suit; and I wouldn't put it past him having a few older models stowed away here and there...
But these many, in Avengers Tower, after all the fuss they made out of him selling his armors? This is just Bendis being lazy and not thinking of a different way to solve the story. It would have made a lot of sense if he had old Guardsman armors stashed away, or armors confiscated from villains; stuff he couldn't very well sell because it wasn't really his.
(From The Avengers V4 #17, September 2011.)
Monday, September 19, 2011
Marvel Moments From July And August
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Dissector #200.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
06/01"I came to Gotham as an adult to break the Batman. So I beat him. I did what no other could. Not Luthor, not those loathsome psychopaths in Arkham. And when he was beaten... I snapped his spine over my knee in a joyful sound that I have dreamt of every night since." Bane, Secret Six V3 #34.
06/08"Electro, I always meant to tell you... You were my greatest adversary and it was an honor to battle you. Oh wait. That wasn't you. I barely ever gave you a second's thought." Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man #159.
06/15"Aquaman sinks half of Europe... and he's considered the most dangerous being on the planet. I slaughter half of Africa... and most people don't even know my name. Location, location, location." President Grodd, Flashpoint: Grodd Of War.
06/22"Kraven is about to learn the most important rule of fighting me... if you allow me to strike back, you have already lost." Black Panther, Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
06/29"My plan... is to give the X-Men what they want... more mutants." Scarlet Witch, Avengers: The Children's Crusade #6.
It is with a heavy heart, that I welcome you to the column for the month of June. Heavy heart because this will be the last installment of The Dissector, at least for some time. I'm not killing the column forever, merely placing it in carbonite for a long, undetermined hiatus. You've noticed I haven't posted a column in months, even though I kept on compiling notes for this month, July, and August. When I started reading September's books, I decided it was time to let the column go for now.
Why? Well, as I've said before, I'm very busy with my day job, and now, thankfully, paid writing jobs (did you check out the flash game "Kingdom Rush"? I wrote the texts for that, and I'm working on the sequel already!), and some small, yet promising comic book lettering jobs. On top of that, I'm writing and editing comics in Spanish for the small imprint I'm part of, GAS Comics... and at some point, you'll see them in English as well (like this story I published on Hadron Colliderscope).
I just don't have the time to keep up and write this column as it deserves, but... you know what? I just decided that I'll transform this into a proper blog. I don't want to kill The Dissector, it'll just stop being a column for now, and have occasional blog posts, with a dissection that's just an image and a few lines; or even a cool moment (a la Moments Of The Week). I just can't kill the Dissector... he's stronger than me!!! So that's what it's going to be like: no schedule, no long-winded posts (unless I feel like it), no firm structure, no ratings, etc.
For now, however, enjoy the last column... but stay tuned. Last column's DT! was cracked by Johnny Doe: Alan Scott's power comes from his ring so only his right hand should be glowing. Yeah, the Starheart's power is within him and all that jazz, but still. Now, The Dissector's Picks For Each Week:
Best Book Of The Week of 06/01 was Thunderbolts #168; I'm not a fan of any of the character
starring there, yet Jeff Parker makes them engaging. Kev Walker's art (with Frank Martin's colors) give the book a gritty feeling that's fitting for a book starring mostly convicts or ex-convicts. Worst Book that week was the first issue of the new volume of S.H.I.E.L.D.; as much as I love retro super-science (almost technomagic), and Dustin Weaver's art is pretty cool, Hickman's tendency to overcomplicate things just to seem deep makes it a boring read. Maybe that's not Hickman's intention, but it ends up feeling that way to me. Cover Of The Week is this wonderful piece by Sabrina Alberghetti for Chip 'N' Dale #7. I can relate to Monty's love for cheese.
Best Book for 06/08 was the first issue of Mystery Men; Marvel's miniseries introducing pulp-era heroes. As a writer who knows the style, David Liss is perfect for this book, and creates characters that fit the era's stereotypes superbly. Patrick Zircher's art captures the right feel for the 30s; with great color by Andy Troy. Worst Book was Red Robin #24. I have no idea why I was reading this book, it's not bad, but it's definitely not my kind of book... and the art by Marcus To is technically good, but bland. Cover for this week was Joe Jusko's beautiful painting for Warlord Of Mars #7. Jusko captures exactly what this book is about.
Week Of 06/15 has as Best Book Hellblazer #280, Peter Milligan's run keeps delivering,
and while guest artist Gael Bertrand's style is not what I'd prefer, it doesn't disappoint. Trish Mulvihill's colors are probably the main reason why I still felt at home with Bertrand's art. Worst Book this week was Teen Titans #96, wake me up when the whole trip to Hindu hell is over. Cover this week was this simple, yet nice circus poster by Cliff Chiang, for issue one of Flashpoint: Deadman And The Flying Graysons.
Best Book for the week of 06/22 is Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
This book never ceases to entertain, David Liss' script for is great, and while Jefte Palo is not Francesco Francavilla, his art sure is up to the task. Worst Book was Superman #712. JMS's utterly boring "Superman walks through America" arc is interrupted by a bland fill-in issue starring Krypto, written by Kurt Busiek. It could have been palatable, if it wasn't for the awful art by Rick Leonardi, who can't draw a human being without a face that looks like it belongs to a Dick Tracy villain. Cover for this week is that beautiful piece by Alex Ross for Rocketeer Adventures #2... would make a great poster.
Last week of the month, 06/29, has as Best Book the second to last issue of The Strange Case
of Mr. Hyde, issue #3. I can't stress enough how good this book is, and how it'd be a great TPB gift for people that don't usually read comics. Cole Haddon's script is neither pretentious nor silly; finding a perfect middle road to tell this tale; while MS Corley's art excels at evoking Victorian times, while being agreeable to modern artistic sensibilities. Buy the collected edition for someone when it comes out; or go buy the four issues online or from your friendly local comic book store. Worst Book of the week was Flashpoint: Project Superman #1. It wasn't inherently bad, just bland and uninteresting. Cover of the week is Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #11, by Dan Panosian... not a particularly beautiful cover, but definitely one that grabs your attention.
Let's get on with this last column...
<-------------------------------->
"RED THIS COLUMN. OR GREEN IT."
TITLE: The Dissector (Clockwork Chap).
ISSUE: 199.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Sidney noticed that I wrote that I had "red" Action Comics #901. Badge for Sidney... oh, BTW, you can still earn badges come the Dissector's new format, don't fret!
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING."
TITLE: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (DC).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Rob Leigh (letterer).
DISSECTION: In addition to a character being called a "dignitary" during the whole issue, at one point the dialogues are overflowing the balloons. That's a very glaring lettering mistake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?"
TITLE: John Byrne's Next Men (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).
DISSECTION: Byrne calls one of his characters "Antonio", when her name is "Antonia", being a woman. He also writes "sectretarty" instead of "secretary", and while I don't do typos anymore, these two were pretty glaring.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. The book also ends without a "to be continued" notice or anything along those lines, making you wonder if your copy is missing a page.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREIGN NAMES!"
TITLE: Namor: The First Mutant (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Artist Carlos Rodríguez is credited as "Rodrîguez"; a last name that doesn't exist. Paying a little attention to names that are foreign to you is just a matter of respect...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOOK MA! BOTH HANDS!"
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 712.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: For the umpteenth time, a flashback to Superboy's death in Infinite Crisis is shown, and he has both hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SNIFFING PIXIE DUST."
TITLE: X-Men: Prelude To Schism (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 04.
CULPRIT: Will Conrad (penciller) & Lee Loughridge (colorist).
DISSECTION: Regardless of the fact that Namor is wearing his Speedo costume in one page, and then later his current costume; Pixie appears at the end, but she looks nothing like she should. Different wings, different hair, different costume, etc. She looks more like Wasp from The Ultimates.
I still don't understand what this mini was about, really, since it doesn't seem to have anything to do with Schism...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars all around...
<-------------------------------->
Average was 6.4 Bazzars in nine dissections, pretty normal. Now, the Moments Of The Month! From 06/01, Peter Parker geeks out about something more important than anything that's happened in his superhero career:
That's what I like about Dan Slott, he gives Pete his scientific dues (Fred Van Lente does, too). The following week, but from the Ultimate universe, Aunt May shows she's hardcore:
Sadly, she couldn't save Pete. Over at Superman, this is what I meant earlier about Rick Leonardi's art:
Does he think they're all Bizarros? From 06/15, Iron Man's Fear Itself tie-in arc... watch the bottle. Now you see it...
Now you don't, Tony has it! From 06/22, who's able to deflect any insult?
Bladezz! And with just two words... Rocketeer Adventures not only gave us one of the covers of the week, but this moment:
Simply awesome. And to finish this column, a moment from 06/29's "Mr. Hyde":
Accuracy, people, please. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
06/01"I came to Gotham as an adult to break the Batman. So I beat him. I did what no other could. Not Luthor, not those loathsome psychopaths in Arkham. And when he was beaten... I snapped his spine over my knee in a joyful sound that I have dreamt of every night since." Bane, Secret Six V3 #34.
06/08"Electro, I always meant to tell you... You were my greatest adversary and it was an honor to battle you. Oh wait. That wasn't you. I barely ever gave you a second's thought." Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man #159.
06/15"Aquaman sinks half of Europe... and he's considered the most dangerous being on the planet. I slaughter half of Africa... and most people don't even know my name. Location, location, location." President Grodd, Flashpoint: Grodd Of War.
06/22"Kraven is about to learn the most important rule of fighting me... if you allow me to strike back, you have already lost." Black Panther, Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
06/29"My plan... is to give the X-Men what they want... more mutants." Scarlet Witch, Avengers: The Children's Crusade #6.
It is with a heavy heart, that I welcome you to the column for the month of June. Heavy heart because this will be the last installment of The Dissector, at least for some time. I'm not killing the column forever, merely placing it in carbonite for a long, undetermined hiatus. You've noticed I haven't posted a column in months, even though I kept on compiling notes for this month, July, and August. When I started reading September's books, I decided it was time to let the column go for now.
Why? Well, as I've said before, I'm very busy with my day job, and now, thankfully, paid writing jobs (did you check out the flash game "Kingdom Rush"? I wrote the texts for that, and I'm working on the sequel already!), and some small, yet promising comic book lettering jobs. On top of that, I'm writing and editing comics in Spanish for the small imprint I'm part of, GAS Comics... and at some point, you'll see them in English as well (like this story I published on Hadron Colliderscope).
I just don't have the time to keep up and write this column as it deserves, but... you know what? I just decided that I'll transform this into a proper blog. I don't want to kill The Dissector, it'll just stop being a column for now, and have occasional blog posts, with a dissection that's just an image and a few lines; or even a cool moment (a la Moments Of The Week). I just can't kill the Dissector... he's stronger than me!!! So that's what it's going to be like: no schedule, no long-winded posts (unless I feel like it), no firm structure, no ratings, etc.
For now, however, enjoy the last column... but stay tuned. Last column's DT! was cracked by Johnny Doe: Alan Scott's power comes from his ring so only his right hand should be glowing. Yeah, the Starheart's power is within him and all that jazz, but still. Now, The Dissector's Picks For Each Week:
Best Book Of The Week of 06/01 was Thunderbolts #168; I'm not a fan of any of the character
starring there, yet Jeff Parker makes them engaging. Kev Walker's art (with Frank Martin's colors) give the book a gritty feeling that's fitting for a book starring mostly convicts or ex-convicts. Worst Book that week was the first issue of the new volume of S.H.I.E.L.D.; as much as I love retro super-science (almost technomagic), and Dustin Weaver's art is pretty cool, Hickman's tendency to overcomplicate things just to seem deep makes it a boring read. Maybe that's not Hickman's intention, but it ends up feeling that way to me. Cover Of The Week is this wonderful piece by Sabrina Alberghetti for Chip 'N' Dale #7. I can relate to Monty's love for cheese.
Best Book for 06/08 was the first issue of Mystery Men; Marvel's miniseries introducing pulp-era heroes. As a writer who knows the style, David Liss is perfect for this book, and creates characters that fit the era's stereotypes superbly. Patrick Zircher's art captures the right feel for the 30s; with great color by Andy Troy. Worst Book was Red Robin #24. I have no idea why I was reading this book, it's not bad, but it's definitely not my kind of book... and the art by Marcus To is technically good, but bland. Cover for this week was Joe Jusko's beautiful painting for Warlord Of Mars #7. Jusko captures exactly what this book is about.Week Of 06/15 has as Best Book Hellblazer #280, Peter Milligan's run keeps delivering,
and while guest artist Gael Bertrand's style is not what I'd prefer, it doesn't disappoint. Trish Mulvihill's colors are probably the main reason why I still felt at home with Bertrand's art. Worst Book this week was Teen Titans #96, wake me up when the whole trip to Hindu hell is over. Cover this week was this simple, yet nice circus poster by Cliff Chiang, for issue one of Flashpoint: Deadman And The Flying Graysons.Best Book for the week of 06/22 is Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #520.
This book never ceases to entertain, David Liss' script for is great, and while Jefte Palo is not Francesco Francavilla, his art sure is up to the task. Worst Book was Superman #712. JMS's utterly boring "Superman walks through America" arc is interrupted by a bland fill-in issue starring Krypto, written by Kurt Busiek. It could have been palatable, if it wasn't for the awful art by Rick Leonardi, who can't draw a human being without a face that looks like it belongs to a Dick Tracy villain. Cover for this week is that beautiful piece by Alex Ross for Rocketeer Adventures #2... would make a great poster.Last week of the month, 06/29, has as Best Book the second to last issue of The Strange Case
of Mr. Hyde, issue #3. I can't stress enough how good this book is, and how it'd be a great TPB gift for people that don't usually read comics. Cole Haddon's script is neither pretentious nor silly; finding a perfect middle road to tell this tale; while MS Corley's art excels at evoking Victorian times, while being agreeable to modern artistic sensibilities. Buy the collected edition for someone when it comes out; or go buy the four issues online or from your friendly local comic book store. Worst Book of the week was Flashpoint: Project Superman #1. It wasn't inherently bad, just bland and uninteresting. Cover of the week is Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #11, by Dan Panosian... not a particularly beautiful cover, but definitely one that grabs your attention.Let's get on with this last column...
<-------------------------------->
"RED THIS COLUMN. OR GREEN IT."
TITLE: The Dissector (Clockwork Chap).
ISSUE: 199.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Sidney noticed that I wrote that I had "red" Action Comics #901. Badge for Sidney... oh, BTW, you can still earn badges come the Dissector's new format, don't fret!
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING."
TITLE: Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (DC).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Rob Leigh (letterer).
DISSECTION: In addition to a character being called a "dignitary" during the whole issue, at one point the dialogues are overflowing the balloons. That's a very glaring lettering mistake.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?"
TITLE: John Byrne's Next Men (IDW).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).
DISSECTION: Byrne calls one of his characters "Antonio", when her name is "Antonia", being a woman. He also writes "sectretarty" instead of "secretary", and while I don't do typos anymore, these two were pretty glaring.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. The book also ends without a "to be continued" notice or anything along those lines, making you wonder if your copy is missing a page.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREIGN NAMES!"
TITLE: Namor: The First Mutant (Marvel).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Artist Carlos Rodríguez is credited as "Rodrîguez"; a last name that doesn't exist. Paying a little attention to names that are foreign to you is just a matter of respect...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOOK MA! BOTH HANDS!"
TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 712.
CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).
DISSECTION: For the umpteenth time, a flashback to Superboy's death in Infinite Crisis is shown, and he has both hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SNIFFING PIXIE DUST."
TITLE: X-Men: Prelude To Schism (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03 of 04.
CULPRIT: Will Conrad (penciller) & Lee Loughridge (colorist).
DISSECTION: Regardless of the fact that Namor is wearing his Speedo costume in one page, and then later his current costume; Pixie appears at the end, but she looks nothing like she should. Different wings, different hair, different costume, etc. She looks more like Wasp from The Ultimates.
I still don't understand what this mini was about, really, since it doesn't seem to have anything to do with Schism...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars all around...
<-------------------------------->
Average was 6.4 Bazzars in nine dissections, pretty normal. Now, the Moments Of The Month! From 06/01, Peter Parker geeks out about something more important than anything that's happened in his superhero career:
That's what I like about Dan Slott, he gives Pete his scientific dues (Fred Van Lente does, too). The following week, but from the Ultimate universe, Aunt May shows she's hardcore:
Sadly, she couldn't save Pete. Over at Superman, this is what I meant earlier about Rick Leonardi's art:
Does he think they're all Bizarros? From 06/15, Iron Man's Fear Itself tie-in arc... watch the bottle. Now you see it...
Now you don't, Tony has it! From 06/22, who's able to deflect any insult?
Bladezz! And with just two words... Rocketeer Adventures not only gave us one of the covers of the week, but this moment:
Simply awesome. And to finish this column, a moment from 06/29's "Mr. Hyde":
Accuracy, people, please. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
The Dissector #197.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
03-02 "Will he live and junk?" King Shark, worried about one of his teammates' health, Secret Six V3 #31.
03-09 "Just one person to call you their peer is enough of a verdict, if it's the right person." Hawkeye, after being complimented by Captain America, Hawkeye: Blindspot #2.
03-16 "We need liquor, drugs, a yard of sheet latex, and a case each of penicillin and lube. Give me three minutes." Wendell's preparations for a trip to Las Vegas, Bad Dog #4.
03-23 "Dear God... or other similar Judeo-Christian messianic figure... or the Ancient Ones... or some weird evolutionary something-or-other... or some random confluence of events that resulted in the perfect conditions for life to flourish on this once-barren, desolate hunk of rock... we thank you for... Oh, right... or Mephisto, the Devil, or some other evil incarnate being... we thank you for this wonderful dinner. " Alex Power's eclectic grace at a Future Foundation dinner, FF #1.
03-30 "... beware MY freakin' power--GUY GARDNER'S MIGHT!" Guy Gardner, Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #8.
Long I have been gone, but here I am again. The same way DC is doing some spring cleaning, so am I (even though it's almost winter where I live). There will be some changes, some streamlining in this column, and you can read about them here. Bottom line? Well, I won't sweat it over accented letters, eye colors, or minor/routine mistakes. And trust me, I saw a few wrong eye colors in the comics I read yesterday and today, and it's hard not to make a note of it as I used to do for the column. And I deleted all the stuff in my notes for future columns that would usually go in The Rundown. It's hard, but I have to take steps to make sure this column is leaner, more dynamic, and most important of all, not behind schedule. That's why this is a column for the whole month of March, and there will be subsequent columns for April and May, and whatever else I need to do to get back on a semi-weekly schedule.
With all that out of the way, last column's (months ago) DT! was cracked by... nobody. Darryn noticed that the Starro on Rughal is on his coat, and not his actual neck, and that'd be something worth noting (and he gets badge)... but that wasn't it. The problem is that they are referring to "telemetry", when it's just a picture or video feed. They wanted to use a fancy word. Let's get on with The Dissector's Picks for each week. Week of 03/02 has X-Factor #216 as Best Book, as usual, it is a great job by Peter David, Emanuela Lupacchino, and the rest of the team, and its cover by David Yardin and Sonia Oback is the cover for that week. Worst Book was for Batman Confidential #54. Boring storyline, poorly told.
Cover of the Week for 03/09 is Joe Jusko's beautiful piece for Warlord Of Mars: Dejah Thoris #1. Sure, other (this book has like six variant covers per issue) may draw a curvier, juicier Dejah Thoris, but Jusko's just screams "Edgar Rice Burroughs' book cover". Best Book for that week is the Legion of Super-Villains one-shot by Paul Levitz and Francis Portela, just great LSH... well, LSV fun. Worst Book that week is JSA All-Stars #16. Poor plot, blocky art... why am I reading this? Best Book Of The Week for 03/16 is The Amazing Spider-Man #656; as Dan Slott shows over and over why he gets Spider-Man so much; his personality, 
motivation, and modus operandi. This is Spider-Man beating villains with his mind and not just his powers, and Marcos Martin's Silver Age-feeling art style is a cherry on top. Worst Book this week is T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents #5. This book is going nowhere, and this was the last issue I read, I believe. A pity, because other things I've read by Nick Spencer was good, and while Cafu's art is not my particular choice, it's solid. The Cover for this week is Alex Ross's cover for The Lone Ranger & Zorro: The Death of Zorro #1. Just works as a movie poster of sorts.
Cover Of The Week for 03/23 is from Captain America Comics #1: 70th Anniversary Special, a recreation by Brian Ching and Michael Atiyeh of the classic 1941 cover of Cap's first appearance. Best Book for this week is Osborn #4; Kelly Sue DeConnick's tale of Osborn's ploys is entrancing, and more so with Emma Ríos' beautifully crafted art, not to mention Jose Villarrubia's colors. Worst Book of the week is Batman, Incorporated #4... Morrison's assassination of the Spanish language and Latin cliches is made even worse by his insistence on Silver Age and Golden Age stuff that makes Batman sillier than it should be, such as Batman dancing "EL TANGO DEL MUERTE" with Bat-Woman (Kathy Kane) on a rooftop. I like Silver/Golden Age references, and Silver or Golden Age-influenced art... but 
continuously bringing back stuff that should have stayed there is not good for books like this one. Best Book Of The Week for 03/30 is Star Wars: Legacy - War #4. As rushed as this conclusion to the Legacy series feels, John Ostrander and Jan Duursema tell a fun, dynamic Star Wars tale. Worst Book Of The Week is Avengers #11. Bendis milks a tired story for a couple of issues too long, and Romita's art is a poor ghost of what the man can actually accomplish. Seriously, it's BAD. Cover for this week is Steve Epting's variant for Captain America #616. This is a good example of retro.
Here's The Rundown, for the last time, and only because I had already finished it when I decided the column's new format:
<-------------------------------->
"VIVE LA RESISTANCE!"
TITLE: Captain America And The First Thirteen (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot/
CULPRIT: Ramon Perez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Why the flying fuck are resistance fighters in Nazi-occupied France during WWII WEARING MILITARY UNIFORMS? No, they're not wearing Nazi uniforms to blend in, but what seem to be military uniforms of their own, while they sneak around spying on Nazis. Not even combat fatigues, but battle dress uniforms suitable to support troops in administrative duties, coomplete with nice green sweaters AND NEAT LITTLE NECKTIES!!!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Stealthy, yeah. Ever heard of a guerrilla movement, Mr. Perez?
<-------------------------------->
"LEGACY OF TIME/"
TITLE: DC Universe Legacies (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Len Wein (writer), Scot Kolins (artist).
DISSECTION: This book has got to be the continuity fuck-up of recent times. The character who tells the story was a kid in the 30s when JSA members first start appearing, then is a young police detective when Superman first appears, and during Infinite Crisis he barely looks fifty (and a good, very handsome and young-looking fifty); while his brother-in-law and childhood friend looks like a 20-year old. In fact, if you didn't know who he is, you'd think his friend is Jimmy Olsen.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MINOR STUFF."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 196.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Captain Donald313 of the HDSC let me know I wrote "an character" instead of "a character". Yes, I will continue to feature my own minor errors as a matter of intellectual honesty.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO DISSECTION SHALL ESCAPE OUR SIGHT!"
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 64.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: The DT! for this column:
Hint: you must be following current Green Lantern books in order to get this... but you might get it by accident if you haven't read GL in ages.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. It might be explained away, but I still kept it.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERBOY TWO-IN-ONE."
TITLE: Superboy V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Lemire (writer).
DISSECTION: In a single page, Lemire manages to have Superboy call Beast Boy "Garth" (Aqualad/Tempest's name) instead of "Gar" (as Beast Boy's name is Garfield), and Pete Ross mention "Steve Danton" instead of "Steve Dayton".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for Garth/Gar, and 4 for Danton/Dayton.
<-------------------------------->
"STARK LIES."
TITLE: Venom V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm enjoying this book, but Remender needs a refresher on Marvel Universe tenets: there's no way UN peacekeeping troops will have Stark power armor, not after all the efforts Tony made to get all his armor tech out of other hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
And that, more or less, is what future columns will look like. I'm not even going to pad out columns with stuff from The Vault, except for very special situations; such as when I don't find a good DT!, or there's absolutely nothing really worth mentioning. In fact, I'm going to the vault after I finish this column to delete everything that's an accent, eye color, or other stuff that no longer passes muster for columns. This column's average was 6.3 Bazzars in one hundred and thirty-six dissections. Last time you'll see that amount of dissections.
Now, let's get with each week's Moments, shall we? Only one for 03/02, and it's Quackerjack at his most human, err, duck:
Sad ending. Then, from 03/09, we've got two. First, Alan Moore's childhood:
Hehe... Van Lente and Dunlavey crack me up. And what's the smart thing for Captain Action to do when he's recovered a magical orb from some Nazis, and he's confronted by the Yeti?
Why, have the Yeti swallow the magical orb! GREAT IDEA!!! Next up, from 03/16, three Moments. When you're a werewolf, you have to be badass:
... or at least look like it for a few moments. Now, again from Darkwing Duck, I need this:
... and not just because it's a jetpack. Remember what I was saying at the start of the column about Dan Slott making Spidey act smart? Well:
That's what I like! Now, one from 03/23, Brainiac 5 shows his love for his fellow Legionnaires:
In his own way, of course. And to end this column, two from 03/30. First, Alan's Scott costume was kind of outdated, so he came up with a new one:
IT'S HORRIBLE!!! HE'S WEARING A FREAKING LANTERN COSTUME!!! LITERALLY!!! THE HANDLE STICKS OUT FROM BEHIND HIS HEAD!!! Good lord. And now an emotional moment from Amazing Spider-Man:
My eyes welled-up. Oh, yeah... while I play catch-up, you can still vote on the Autopsy Awards.
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
03-02 "Will he live and junk?" King Shark, worried about one of his teammates' health, Secret Six V3 #31.
03-09 "Just one person to call you their peer is enough of a verdict, if it's the right person." Hawkeye, after being complimented by Captain America, Hawkeye: Blindspot #2.
03-16 "We need liquor, drugs, a yard of sheet latex, and a case each of penicillin and lube. Give me three minutes." Wendell's preparations for a trip to Las Vegas, Bad Dog #4.
03-23 "Dear God... or other similar Judeo-Christian messianic figure... or the Ancient Ones... or some weird evolutionary something-or-other... or some random confluence of events that resulted in the perfect conditions for life to flourish on this once-barren, desolate hunk of rock... we thank you for... Oh, right... or Mephisto, the Devil, or some other evil incarnate being... we thank you for this wonderful dinner. " Alex Power's eclectic grace at a Future Foundation dinner, FF #1.
03-30 "... beware MY freakin' power--GUY GARDNER'S MIGHT!" Guy Gardner, Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #8.
Long I have been gone, but here I am again. The same way DC is doing some spring cleaning, so am I (even though it's almost winter where I live). There will be some changes, some streamlining in this column, and you can read about them here. Bottom line? Well, I won't sweat it over accented letters, eye colors, or minor/routine mistakes. And trust me, I saw a few wrong eye colors in the comics I read yesterday and today, and it's hard not to make a note of it as I used to do for the column. And I deleted all the stuff in my notes for future columns that would usually go in The Rundown. It's hard, but I have to take steps to make sure this column is leaner, more dynamic, and most important of all, not behind schedule. That's why this is a column for the whole month of March, and there will be subsequent columns for April and May, and whatever else I need to do to get back on a semi-weekly schedule.
With all that out of the way, last column's (months ago) DT! was cracked by... nobody. Darryn noticed that the Starro on Rughal is on his coat, and not his actual neck, and that'd be something worth noting (and he gets badge)... but that wasn't it. The problem is that they are referring to "telemetry", when it's just a picture or video feed. They wanted to use a fancy word. Let's get on with The Dissector's Picks for each week. Week of 03/02 has X-Factor #216 as Best Book, as usual, it is a great job by Peter David, Emanuela Lupacchino, and the rest of the team, and its cover by David Yardin and Sonia Oback is the cover for that week. Worst Book was for Batman Confidential #54. Boring storyline, poorly told.
Cover of the Week for 03/09 is Joe Jusko's beautiful piece for Warlord Of Mars: Dejah Thoris #1. Sure, other (this book has like six variant covers per issue) may draw a curvier, juicier Dejah Thoris, but Jusko's just screams "Edgar Rice Burroughs' book cover". Best Book for that week is the Legion of Super-Villains one-shot by Paul Levitz and Francis Portela, just great LSH... well, LSV fun. Worst Book that week is JSA All-Stars #16. Poor plot, blocky art... why am I reading this? Best Book Of The Week for 03/16 is The Amazing Spider-Man #656; as Dan Slott shows over and over why he gets Spider-Man so much; his personality, 
motivation, and modus operandi. This is Spider-Man beating villains with his mind and not just his powers, and Marcos Martin's Silver Age-feeling art style is a cherry on top. Worst Book this week is T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents #5. This book is going nowhere, and this was the last issue I read, I believe. A pity, because other things I've read by Nick Spencer was good, and while Cafu's art is not my particular choice, it's solid. The Cover for this week is Alex Ross's cover for The Lone Ranger & Zorro: The Death of Zorro #1. Just works as a movie poster of sorts.
Cover Of The Week for 03/23 is from Captain America Comics #1: 70th Anniversary Special, a recreation by Brian Ching and Michael Atiyeh of the classic 1941 cover of Cap's first appearance. Best Book for this week is Osborn #4; Kelly Sue DeConnick's tale of Osborn's ploys is entrancing, and more so with Emma Ríos' beautifully crafted art, not to mention Jose Villarrubia's colors. Worst Book of the week is Batman, Incorporated #4... Morrison's assassination of the Spanish language and Latin cliches is made even worse by his insistence on Silver Age and Golden Age stuff that makes Batman sillier than it should be, such as Batman dancing "EL TANGO DEL MUERTE" with Bat-Woman (Kathy Kane) on a rooftop. I like Silver/Golden Age references, and Silver or Golden Age-influenced art... but 
continuously bringing back stuff that should have stayed there is not good for books like this one. Best Book Of The Week for 03/30 is Star Wars: Legacy - War #4. As rushed as this conclusion to the Legacy series feels, John Ostrander and Jan Duursema tell a fun, dynamic Star Wars tale. Worst Book Of The Week is Avengers #11. Bendis milks a tired story for a couple of issues too long, and Romita's art is a poor ghost of what the man can actually accomplish. Seriously, it's BAD. Cover for this week is Steve Epting's variant for Captain America #616. This is a good example of retro.Here's The Rundown, for the last time, and only because I had already finished it when I decided the column's new format:
<-------------------------------->
"VIVE LA RESISTANCE!"
TITLE: Captain America And The First Thirteen (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot/
CULPRIT: Ramon Perez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Why the flying fuck are resistance fighters in Nazi-occupied France during WWII WEARING MILITARY UNIFORMS? No, they're not wearing Nazi uniforms to blend in, but what seem to be military uniforms of their own, while they sneak around spying on Nazis. Not even combat fatigues, but battle dress uniforms suitable to support troops in administrative duties, coomplete with nice green sweaters AND NEAT LITTLE NECKTIES!!!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Stealthy, yeah. Ever heard of a guerrilla movement, Mr. Perez?
<-------------------------------->
"LEGACY OF TIME/"
TITLE: DC Universe Legacies (DC).
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Len Wein (writer), Scot Kolins (artist).
DISSECTION: This book has got to be the continuity fuck-up of recent times. The character who tells the story was a kid in the 30s when JSA members first start appearing, then is a young police detective when Superman first appears, and during Infinite Crisis he barely looks fifty (and a good, very handsome and young-looking fifty); while his brother-in-law and childhood friend looks like a 20-year old. In fact, if you didn't know who he is, you'd think his friend is Jimmy Olsen.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MINOR STUFF."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 196.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Captain Donald313 of the HDSC let me know I wrote "an character" instead of "a character". Yes, I will continue to feature my own minor errors as a matter of intellectual honesty.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NO DISSECTION SHALL ESCAPE OUR SIGHT!"
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 64.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: The DT! for this column:
Hint: you must be following current Green Lantern books in order to get this... but you might get it by accident if you haven't read GL in ages.DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. It might be explained away, but I still kept it.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERBOY TWO-IN-ONE."
TITLE: Superboy V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Lemire (writer).
DISSECTION: In a single page, Lemire manages to have Superboy call Beast Boy "Garth" (Aqualad/Tempest's name) instead of "Gar" (as Beast Boy's name is Garfield), and Pete Ross mention "Steve Danton" instead of "Steve Dayton".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for Garth/Gar, and 4 for Danton/Dayton.
<-------------------------------->
"STARK LIES."
TITLE: Venom V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Rick Remender (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm enjoying this book, but Remender needs a refresher on Marvel Universe tenets: there's no way UN peacekeeping troops will have Stark power armor, not after all the efforts Tony made to get all his armor tech out of other hands.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
And that, more or less, is what future columns will look like. I'm not even going to pad out columns with stuff from The Vault, except for very special situations; such as when I don't find a good DT!, or there's absolutely nothing really worth mentioning. In fact, I'm going to the vault after I finish this column to delete everything that's an accent, eye color, or other stuff that no longer passes muster for columns. This column's average was 6.3 Bazzars in one hundred and thirty-six dissections. Last time you'll see that amount of dissections.
Now, let's get with each week's Moments, shall we? Only one for 03/02, and it's Quackerjack at his most human, err, duck:
Sad ending. Then, from 03/09, we've got two. First, Alan Moore's childhood:
Hehe... Van Lente and Dunlavey crack me up. And what's the smart thing for Captain Action to do when he's recovered a magical orb from some Nazis, and he's confronted by the Yeti?
Why, have the Yeti swallow the magical orb! GREAT IDEA!!! Next up, from 03/16, three Moments. When you're a werewolf, you have to be badass:
... or at least look like it for a few moments. Now, again from Darkwing Duck, I need this:
... and not just because it's a jetpack. Remember what I was saying at the start of the column about Dan Slott making Spidey act smart? Well:
That's what I like! Now, one from 03/23, Brainiac 5 shows his love for his fellow Legionnaires:
In his own way, of course. And to end this column, two from 03/30. First, Alan's Scott costume was kind of outdated, so he came up with a new one:
IT'S HORRIBLE!!! HE'S WEARING A FREAKING LANTERN COSTUME!!! LITERALLY!!! THE HANDLE STICKS OUT FROM BEHIND HIS HEAD!!! Good lord. And now an emotional moment from Amazing Spider-Man:
My eyes welled-up. Oh, yeah... while I play catch-up, you can still vote on the Autopsy Awards.That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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