Showing posts with label Hellboy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hellboy. Show all posts
Thursday, November 03, 2011
Hellboy Doesn't like Maine.
"Caribou Municipal Airport. THAT'S how you know you're really in Maine, right?" Hellboy, Abe Sapien: The Devil Does Not Jest #2 (October, 2011).
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
While I prepare the column with the last three weeks of February (yes, I'm AWFULLY late, I know), here's The Rundown for those weeks: Abyss: Family Issues (accented letter), Adventure Comics V1 (Night Girl's hair should be black, not brown), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (ñ, a loose quotation mark), Astonishing X-Men: Xenogenesis (Beast looks wrong, Storm's eyes are not white when she's not using her powers, Jaspers is no "boy" or "adolescent"), Astonishing X-Men V2 ("past" ancestors... how do you get "future ancestors"? Well, this IS Marvel...), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit and upcoming features lettering), B.P.R.D. Hell On Earth: Gods (internal issue numbering), Batman (Enigma's eyes and Riddler's hair are colored incorrectly), Birds Of Prey V3 (Dove's agility is not mentioned in her powers), Booster Gold V2 (Rip Hunter's eyes and hair are wrong), Brightest Day (Aqualad shouldn't have calf fins), Captain America V2 (Black Widow's eyes should be green), DC Universe: Legacies (the effin' timeline; Spark gets called "Spark" and then "Sparks", Hal's badge is wrong, and his boots are white on another page), Doom Patrol V5 (Rita's eyes are colored incorrectly, two different word balloons point to wrong characters, Scandal's eye are also miscolored), Fantastic Four V1 (Danielle Cage should not look like she's three months old), Generation Hope (Shadowcat's eyes shouldn't be blue, Gabriel's eyes are brown first, then blue), Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (badges), Green Lantern Corps V2 (Ganthet has blank eyes at one point... for no reason), Heroes For Hire V3 (Baby Cage again, "personalitied" is not a real word), Iron Siege (if you use translation brackets, don't leave untranslated words inside... and a Sergeant would never be the "CO" of a military unit... in charge, yes, but never "CO", and the unit is too small to be just the "101st Airborne"), Justice League: Generation Lost (Guy Gardner's eyes are wrong), Justice League Of America V2 ("Los Grandes Nombres" is not the right translation for "The Big Names"), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (Dawnstar's skin, eyes and powers), Namor: The First Mutant (Doom's eyes are colored wrong, so are Namor's, some Atlanteans have red eyes for no reason, and the logomancer is still Caucasian, with no explanation), The New Avengers V2 (Wanda's eyes should be blue, inconsistent credit lettering), Onslaught Unleashed (Beast looks wrong, accented letter), Outsiders V3 (Grace and Geo-Force have the wrong eye colors), Power Man And Iron Fist (numerous language errors, both in writing and lettering, an incorrect description of Power Man's power), Red Robin (accented letters), Spider-Girl V2 (Anya's skin should not be dark), Star Wars: Legacy - War (an incorrectly italicized word, an incorrectly spelled word in Huttese), T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents (two accents that are almost horizontal lines), Teen Titans V3 (a misplaced question mark), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cairo looks nothing like it does here, Tony Stark's eyes are colored incorrectly), Uncanny X-Force (Wolverine's eyes should be blue), Uncanny X-Men (accented letter), The Unwritten (accented letters), Warlord Of Mars (it's either "Uncle Jack" or "Captain John", not "Captain Jack", and "the" is spelled "they" in a text), Widowmaker (wrong eye color for the former Red Guardian, and the first issue of Blind Spot is announced for the wrong date), X-Factor V3 (Layla and Madrox's eyes are colored incorrectly, and Layla calls Madrox her "fiancée" at one point, accented letter), X-Men: To Serve And Protect (accented letter), X-Men Legacy (accented letters).
Friday, January 14, 2011
The Dissector Special #09: Autopsy Awards 2010 Nominations.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
Allow me to present the 2010 Autopsy Awards nominees! As usual, the voting will be via e-mail, send your votes to lordmagnusen at gmail.com, in the following form (each nomination has a code): "W01, A03, C02..."
Some of the awards are not subject to vote, as they are given solely on a numeric basis (most Dissected company, etc), or specially awarded for extraordinary "merit" (I also accept suggestions for special awards). Of course, the text for each dissection is the original one from when they were published, but I've added some (mostly) new comments for all.
The last four categories are actually about positive things that a comic book company or creator would be proud to win... unlike the other categories. I'm talking about the "Best Quote", "Best Moment", and "Best Cover" awards, and the new comer "Best Fight Scene" award. Now, the nominees:
Let's get started with the Best Writing Dissection nominees:
<-------------------------------->
W01-"THIS SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT..." (The Dissector #147, 01/29/10)
COMMENT: With all the tools at Fraction's disposition, I was surprised he'd do something this dumb.
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 520.
CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).
DISSECTION: We get it, Wolverine has amazingly keen senses... but I will not accept that he can track a prey by smell from the top of a building in NEW YORK CITY, A 468.9 SQUARE MILES, 1,214.4 SQUARE KILOMETERS, 8,363,710 CITY INHABITANTS, AND 19,006,798 METRO AREA POPULATION CITY!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Not only does he track his prey (a Predator X) to a SEWER, but he knows that Fantomex (who carries no scent) is there because he smelled, and I quote, "a you-shaped hole in the smell of this dump". Fraction, Logan has a very acute sense of smell, not an echolocation device in his nostrils.
<-------------------------------->
W02-"A MAN AHEAD OF HIS TIME" (The Dissector #148, 02/05/10)
COMMENT: Sometimes modern language breaks the suspension of disbelief in period comics... in this case, it was worse than that, it was a gross science/history error too.
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer).
DISSECTION: This is a book set in Nordic lands in what, the 10th century? The 11th? The exact date really doesn't matter; but Thorir, one of the characters, urges a girl to eat meat because "growing children need protein". Protein? Really?
Wikipedia says: Proteins were first described by the Dutch chemist Gerhardus Johannes Mulder and named by the Swedish chemist Jönsla Jakob Berzelius in 1838. The central role of proteins in living organisms was however not fully appreciated until 1926, when James B. Sumner showed that the enzyme urease was a protein.
So, how is a Norseman in the know this 600 years before proteins were even described? Wood could have had Thorir just say "growing children need meat".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
W03-"I CAN'T COUNT TOO GOOD." (The Dissector #157, 04/09/10)
COMMENT: When writing Star Trek, you have to remember that characters are highly-educated professionals from the 24th (or around, depending on the series) century, who are used to dealing with alien cultures on a daily basis. Or this happens:
TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (IDW).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Zander Cannon (writer).
DISSECTION: Now, Zander Cannon (whose name still sounds AWESOME) wrote a nice miniseries; which could have been shorter, granted, but still was TNGish enough to be an episode of the show; and Javier Aranda's art in this issue, while ugly, is technically correct enough to make me think he probably grew hands or got cybernetic replacements. Makes me think of a Star Trek roleplayer who had a character with "positronic hands"... ignoring the fact that what was positronic about Data was HIS BRAIN, and it was a feature related to artificial intelligence, NOT HANDS!!!
... but I ramble. In this last issue, Geordi is getting some numerical data from one of the aliens-of-the-week-from-the-planet-of-the-week (Allios IV), to solve a technical conundrum posed by a specific piece of technology developed in that planet. He can't make heads or tails of the numbers he's being fed, and struggles to understand them, and after a great deal of effort... realizes the aliens, who have six fingers on each hand, use a base-12 number system. Yes, Geordi, a professional engineer, who is one of the best Starfleet and the entire Star Trek universe has to offer, only realizes that about a civilization whose technology he's been studying for what seems to be days? Even if it's just hours, THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT WHEN STUDYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SO HEAVILY DEPENDING ON NUMBERS, IS WHAT SYSTEM THEY USE!!!
Me, I'm ashamed I never realized the aliens had six fingers on each hand, and it was never mentioned before. But it'd be in the first page of whatever Wikipedia entry Geordi consulted about this planet.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
W04-"THE FAMOUS VULCAN ELBOW PINCH." (The Dissector #170, 07/10/10)
COMMENT: Knowing Star Trek is important to writing Star Trek. Which is odd in this case, since the Tipton brothers seem to be fans.
TITLE: Star Trek: Burden Of Knowledge (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).
DISSECTION: Spock attempts to render one of the muppet-bird aliens unconscious, but their physiology is not similar to the usual humanoid types. According to Spock "... this race lacks a discernible shoulder necessary for the nerve pinch..." SHOULDER??!?!!? It's the Vulcan NECK pinch!!! (Or nerve pinch, I know.)
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
W05-"FUCKING FIRES, HOW DO THEY WORK?." (The Dissector #183, 11/11/10)
COMMENT: It pains me to nominate one of my favorite books and writers, but same as the third dissection in this category, you need to remember people in the future (at least the future painted in these settings) will be highly educated, particularly in matters that are even obvious to people like me, who haven't finished high school.
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Cosmic Boy goes to the Legion Academy, and while he's reviewing the students, a fire breaks out nearby and they are the closest ones to respond. They go to the scene, and one student that has variable powers (Variable Lad), in this case uses them to become super smart and learn what the best way of putting out the fire is: using the powers of another student who can control chemical reactions (Chemical Kid), because fire is an oxidation. Uhm... and they needed a super intelligent being to figure that out?
Regardless of him being a student and not a battle-hardened Legionnaire, a guy whose powers are to control chemical reactions should think of that first, particularly in the 30th century, with the kind of education they have, plus any further education someone with chemical controlling powers should get on the subject. Controlling the oxidation should be a gut response from Chemical Kid, the same as Bataranging or punching a bank robber is Batman's!
Not to mention the fact that there's two veteran Legionnaires there (Cosmic Boy and Duplicate Girl), and a handful of other students, most of whom should have a pretty advanced science education when compared to today's teenagers or young adults. Anyone today with a barely decent education should know that a fire is a chemical reaction.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
I'm not sure which I'm voting for yet. Let's go on with the nominees for Best Art Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
A01-"THE ROD OF BORIS." (The Dissector #156, 04/02/10)
COMMENT: This is one of my pet peeves; and I finally decided to attribute it to the artist.
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo)
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer) and/or Leandro Fernandez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Good God... Boris, the apparently Slavic holy man among Norsemen, is also a healer... and his surgical instrument and medicine bag has a caduceus. The caduceus is NOT the symbol of medicine, despite its mistaken use, mainly in the USA, as that. It's a symbol originally for Iris, messenger of Hera, and afterwards of Hermes/Mercury; and through them, a symbol of messengers, gamblers, merchants, shepherds, liars and thieves.
The symbol of medicine is the rod of Asclepius; or the asklepian. Asclepius was the Greek god of healing and medicine, and his symbol is a staff with a snake entwined around it. The caduceus is also a staff, but quite differently shaped than the asklepian. The latter is a rustic wooden staff, while the former is usually a smooth and elegant-looking herald's staff. Furthermore, there are two snakes entwined around the caduceus, and the staff is winged, while the rod of Asclepius is not. Read more about the asklepian, and about the caduceus and the mix ups between the two.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A02-"FACE IS NOT IN MURDOCK'S BOOK.." (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
COMMENT: Simplification is one thing; plain old laziness is another.
TITLE: A-Team: War Stories: Murdock (IDW).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Guiu Vilanova (penciller).
DISSECTION: Artists, and particularly IDW artists, are known to not draw faces on background characters. While it's a practice I don't consider correct, it's understandable. Some IDW artists, however, most specifically, the ones in most of their Star Trek books, have done it to characters that, while not important to the scene, are not in the background. This time, however, Vilanova has taken it too far:
Come on! This is outrageous! Those are the ONLY TWO CHARACTERS IN THE PANEL!!! ONE OF THEM IS THE STAR OF THE BOOK, AND THE OTHER ONE IS TALKING!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!??!!?!?!?!?!?!? Not happy with that, he does it twice more, once again to Murdock, star of the book, WHILE HE'S TALKING AND IS ONE OF THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS IN THE PANEL, AND THEN AGAIN... but in that panel Murdock is not talking, at least.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A03-"RIDDLE ME THIS, RIDDLE ME THAT... WHO'S WEARING THE MANTLE OF THE BAT?" (The Dissector #166, 06/12/10)
COMMENT: Geez, pay some attention to what you're working on.
TITLE: Joker's Asylum II: The Riddler (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Andres Guinaldo (penciller).
DISSECTION: If you're going to tell a flashback story, to when the Riddler wasn't a detective, don't dress Batman with Dick Grayson's current costume... since it's Bruce.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A04-"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS? WHAT IS THIS, MOSAIC?" (The Dissector #183, 11/11/10)
COMMENT: It hurts when you see that some people (I'm talking about Kirkham here) don't care about what they're working on, when you'd love to be working on comics yourself.
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Tyler Kirkham (penciller) and Nei Rufino (colorist)
DISSECTION: What? Bystanders on Korugar are colored like humans, some lighter, others darker, and it's not a trick of the light or anything, because in the same light as Kyle Rayner, many share his skin color. But that's not the worst thing... they're dressed, unequivocally, in Earth clothes: jackets, baseball caps, hoodies. People from Korugar have pink or red skin, and they certainly shouldn't be wearing normal Earth garments.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, double. Also, Sinestro's ring is colored like his skin in a panel (that's where all the pink ink went!).
<-------------------------------->
Some of those aren't that bad; to be honest. Now the nominees for Best Coloring Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
C01-"COX SUCKER." (The Dissector #152, 03/05/10)
COMMENT: Jeromy Cox, one of this column's mainstays...
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).
DISSECTION: Attention, rant coming...
Jeromy Cox: Monet St. Croix has brown eyes, not blue or green; Namor's should be grey, not whatever weird color you gave him; Layla Miller's eyes are green, not blue; Reed Richards has brown eyes, not blue ones; and Ben Grimm, usually called "Ever Lovin' Blue Eyed Thing"... yes, you guessed it, has BLUE EYES, NOT BROWN ONES!!!! ALSO, YOU MIGHT WANT TO AVOID COLORING LAYLA LIKE SHE'S MONET, SKIN, HAIR AND COSTUME!!!
Your job is to color these books, and I know it can be a hard, detailed job. But can you at least work with character references in front of you, FOR RAINBOW RAIDER'S SAKE?!?!?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: I'm fucking giving 9 Bazzars to each of these, just because of Jeromy's complete inability to color ONE CHARACTER RIGHT.
<-------------------------------->
C02-"AVENGING CHANGING COLORS." (The Dissector #156, 04/02/10)
COMMENT: Is McCaig living with Jeromy?
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 63.
CULPRIT: Dave McCaig (colorist).
DISSECTION: I'm reading the book, right? And I notice that Jessica Jones' eyes are the wrong color. They're green, when they should be blue. The next page, they're blue. And the next, back to green... and then brown. WTF?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, for the sheer sloppiness. Clint Barton's eyes are green first, then his correct blue color, then green again; Lady Octopus' eyes are green instead of brown, and Danielle Cage is drawn as a 4-6 months baby instead of a year old infant or so. Then I go to see who the colorist was... and the credit read "colorisst"...
<-------------------------------->
C03-"THE GRAY HOOD." (The Dissector #181, 10/14/10)
COMMENT: This was just baffling.
TITLE: Red Hood: The Lost Days (DC).
ISSUE: 05 of 06.
CULPRIT: Brian Reber (colorist).
DISSECTION: Jason Todd is trying to find a girl in a car that's, unwittingly, carrying a bomb. Over the phone, he asks her what kind of car she's in, and she says the car is red. But the colorist made the car gray or black...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
C04-"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS? WHAT IS THIS, MOSAIC?" (The Dissector #183, 11/11/10)
COMMENT: While Nei's great, this deserved to be nominated for the coloring mistakes too.
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Tyler Kirkham (penciller) and Nei Rufino (colorist)
DISSECTION: What? Bystanders on Korugar are colored like humans, some lighter, others darker, and it's not a trick of the light or anything, because in the same light as Kyle Rayner, many share his skin color. But that's not the worst thing... they're dressed, unequivocally, in Earth clothes: jackets, baseball caps, hoodies. People from Korugar have pink or red skin, and they certainly shouldn't be wearing normal Earth garments.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, double. Also, Sinestro's ring is colored like his skin in a panel (that's where all the pink ink went!).
<-------------------------------->
C05-"WHITE STAR." (The Dissector #189, 12/12/10)
COMMENT: It's disheartening. I don't ask colorists, some of which I've met personally and know they don't care about comics at all (while others are fans too, mind you), to know by heart the detailed histories of each character they color... but is it so hard to check what ethnicity a character is supposed to be?
TITLE: Adventure Comics V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 521.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Dawnstar is descended from Native Americans... she is not fair-skinned like Caucasians, and she does not have blue eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Twice. Get a fucking grip on the characters you are working on.
<-------------------------------->
I'm between two of those... Let's go with the nominees for Best Lettering Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
L01-"TRANSBAT." (The Dissector #148, 02/05/09)
COMMENT: Editors ended up taking the blame for this, but it's still a lettering error.
TITLE: Batman And Robin (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Janelle Siegel (assistant editor) & Mike Marts (editor).
DISSECTION: Batwoman and Batman's speech balloons are switched on one page. Letterer Pat Brosseau says in his Facebook page that he was sure it was okay when he handed it in, so I'm going to take his word for it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
L02-"PUSHER FOR HIRE.!" (The Dissector #163, 05/23/10)
COMMENT: Talk about turning around a story...
TITLE: New Avengers: Luke Cage (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Joe Sabino (letterer).
DISSECTION: Wow, Joe really did screw up on this one:
Cage talks like he's got people selling drugs? The villain who just attacked him says "it takes more than cats to hurt me"?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
L03-"HÉRR." (The Dissector #185, 11/19/10)
COMMENT: Two of my pet peeves (well, the same one twice, basically), mixed together.
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man (Marvel).
ISSUE: 647.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Joe's one of my favorite letterers, and that makes this dissection worse... he letter's what's supposed to be the word "Señor" as "Senõr". Not only that, he makes the "o" smaller because of the tilde. *sigh*
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzar's for fucking up the word, 7 for the smaller letter.
<-------------------------------->
L04-"BLURRED DIALOGUES." (The Dissector #187, 11/23/10)
COMMENT: Nothing scandalous, but pretty obvious, and something that shouldn't (but did, and I can't be surprised) have escaped proofreading.
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
Some interesting options. Let's check out the nominees for Best Other Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
O01-"WAR IS MESSY." (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
COMMENT: A real mess.
TITLE: Battlefields (Dynamite).
ISSUE: Honestly, I give up.
CULPRIT: Joseph Rybandt (editor).
DISSECTION: You know I enjoy these books... except for "Dear Billy", all the Battlefield minis have been excellent... well, "Dear Billy" is not bad, but just not to my taste. My favorite was "The Tankies", a three issue miniseries last year. Now the Tankies are back! Is it Battlefields: The Tankies II? Or is it Battlefields: The Firefly And His Majesty, or Battlefields: The Firefly, as it was announced?
No, it's Battlefields #4. What? There was never a book called "Battlefields", it was just Battlefields: The Night Witches, Battlefields: Dear Billy, and Battlefields: The Tankies, Yes, originally it was going to be Battlefields 1 to 9, with each of those three stories taking up three issues; but then, Battlefield: Happy Valley was released... and now a second Tankies story gets #4?
If it's a continuation of the original series of three minis, it'd be #10... if it's a continuation of the whole thing, including Happy Valley, it'd be #13. And if it's a continuation to the Tankies, it'd be #4... So, any way they want to say Dynamite is trying to publish this, it still doesn't make sense. There's also a blurb at the end of issue #5 that says announces the next issue as the conclusion of "the second Battlefields arc". So they're trying to consider this part of Battlefields: The Tankies... why don't you name it Battlefields: The Tankies and that way you can number it from #4?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O02-"JUST SHOOT ME." (The Dissector #171, 07-26-10)
COMMENT: My bad, my bad. I really goofed up here.
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 170.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (editor).
DISSECTION: I was working on the column, and I noticed I didn't have a DT!, so I went and plucked one out of The Rundown... and left it there too. No one seems to have noticed, though, until Sidney did, some time later. Another badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O03-"NUMBER π IN A SERIES." (The Dissector #177, 09/21/10)
COMMENT: Puzzling.
TITLE: B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth - New World (Dark Horse).
ISSUE: 01 and 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor) and/or Samantha Robertson (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Editor Scott Allie tells us readers in the letter column of the first issue that "the B.P.R.D. series that started in 2002 with Hollow Earth has ended with King Of Fear, and now we're into a new series- B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, of which New World is the first arc. (...) But the name of the book is now B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, with subtitles."
Now, this is all fine and dandy, because as you might have noticed if you read B.P.R.D., all of the miniseries feature in the credits a note that says "number ## in a series"; to show that it's all the same series, even if it's not published as a regular ongoing title. And now, it's a new series, "B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth"... but why are issues #1 and #2 marked as "number 69" and "number 70" ("in a series").
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O04-"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!" (The Dissector #187, 11/23/10)
COMMENT: There's hype, and then there's lying and being ridiculous.
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O05-"CHAOS ATE MY CREDITS." (The Dissector #189, 12/12/10)
COMMENT: Yeah, who cares who wrote and drew this?
TITLE: Chaos War: Alpha Flight (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Unknown editor.
DISSECTION: Yeah.... THERE ARE NO DETAILED CREDITS IN THE WHOLE ISSUE!!! Just last names of writer, penciller, inker, and colorist on the cover...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
I am not voting for myself, that much I can tell you. Now the nominees for the first of the "positive" categories, Best Quote:
<-------------------------------->
Q01-"This is a Christian land, and we a Christian people, but that's not stopped the old gods from reminding us they exist." Hilda, about winter, Northlanders #24. (The Dissector #148, 02/05/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q02-"I leave a lot behind, but never the whisky." John Constantine, Hellblazer #264. (The Dissector #151, 03/03/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q03-"This station will be ground up with your bones into the finest powder which we will snort in our victory orgy." Drenx commander, S.W.O.R.D. #5. (The Dissector #154, 03/19/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q04-"(...) there are promises one makes to oneself, having lived through a holocaust. I'm afraid these promises preclude me from watching the extermination of my people in a reclining position. See to your patients, Dr. McCoy. I will see to our enemies." Max Eisenhardt, aka Magneto, New Mutants V3 #14. (The Dissector #168, 06/25/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q05-"Why does every BBQ I have end with a dead hippie being molested?" Franky, Billy The Kid's Old Timey Oddities And The Ghastly Fiend Of London #2 (The Goon backup story). (The Dissector #184, 11/17/10)
<-------------------------------->
Can't tell you which one I'm voting for, but I've made my choice. Now for the next positive category, the nominees for Best Moment:
<-------------------------------->
M01-From Doomwar #1: You. Do. Not. Fuck. With. The. Wakandan. Royal. Family. (The Dissector #151, 03/03/10)
<-------------------------------->
M02-From Superman #697: The Legion's New Espionage Squad, in the 21st century. (The Dissector #152, 03/05/10)
<-------------------------------->
M03-From Siege #4: It's over, Norman. (The Dissector #155, 03/26/10)
<-------------------------------->
M04-S.H.I.E.L.D. #1: Galileo Vs. Galactus! (The Dissector #158, 04/16/10)
<-------------------------------->
M05-From X-Force V3 #26: The death of one of my favorite characters, and something I did not see coming. (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
<-------------------------------->
M06-From Ex Machina #50: The return of the Great Machine! (The Dissector #164, 05/28/10)
<-------------------------------->
M07-From Strange Tales II #1: Kate Beaton is too funny. (The Dissector #182, 10/31/10)
<-------------------------------->
The nominees for Best Cover:
<-------------------------------->
T01-Gravel #16. I like working class magicians, and this cover says "London". By Mike Wolfer. (The Dissector #147, 01/29/10)
<-------------------------------->
T02-From The Amazing Spider-Man V1 #625. The Gauntlet could get a bit repetitive, but the Rhino storyline was definitely compelling. Cover by Marko Djurdjevic. (The Dissector #155, 03/26/10)
<-------------------------------->
T03-The Flash V3 #3, nice cover by Greg Horn (and it ain't traced porn!). (The Dissector #170, 07/10/10)
<-------------------------------->
T04-This is from The Murder Of King Tut #1, by Darwyn Cooke. (The Dissector #171, 07/26/10)
<-------------------------------->
Lastly, the nominees for the newest positive category, Best Fight Scene (yes, I know, very MTV of me):
<-------------------------------->
F01-From Mighty Avengers (blanking on the issue), Quicksilver takes down Gary Stu, err, Mr. X (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
<-------------------------------->
F02-In Hercules: Twilight of A God #2, Herc takes down a future Silver Surfer... with extreme prejudice. (The Dissector #171, 07/26/10)
<-------------------------------->
F03-Don't mess with John Walker (the former U.S.Agent), even when he's missing limbs! From Thunderbolts #147 (The Dissector #175, 09/07/10)
<-------------------------------->
F04-From Rawhide Kid #4, it's not a physical battle, but a gay fashion showdown in the old west: (The Dissector #178, 09/29/10)
<-------------------------------->
F05-From Warriors Three #2, Volstagg The Voluminous (my favorite Thor character) fights trolls (The Dissector #189, 12/13/10)
<-------------------------------->
OK, get voting, you have until the end of the month (perhaps a few more days), to do so. Catch you soon with the next regular column. Remember, nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
Allow me to present the 2010 Autopsy Awards nominees! As usual, the voting will be via e-mail, send your votes to lordmagnusen at gmail.com, in the following form (each nomination has a code): "W01, A03, C02..."
Some of the awards are not subject to vote, as they are given solely on a numeric basis (most Dissected company, etc), or specially awarded for extraordinary "merit" (I also accept suggestions for special awards). Of course, the text for each dissection is the original one from when they were published, but I've added some (mostly) new comments for all.
The last four categories are actually about positive things that a comic book company or creator would be proud to win... unlike the other categories. I'm talking about the "Best Quote", "Best Moment", and "Best Cover" awards, and the new comer "Best Fight Scene" award. Now, the nominees:
Let's get started with the Best Writing Dissection nominees:
<-------------------------------->
W01-"THIS SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT..." (The Dissector #147, 01/29/10)
COMMENT: With all the tools at Fraction's disposition, I was surprised he'd do something this dumb.
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 520.
CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).
DISSECTION: We get it, Wolverine has amazingly keen senses... but I will not accept that he can track a prey by smell from the top of a building in NEW YORK CITY, A 468.9 SQUARE MILES, 1,214.4 SQUARE KILOMETERS, 8,363,710 CITY INHABITANTS, AND 19,006,798 METRO AREA POPULATION CITY!!!
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Not only does he track his prey (a Predator X) to a SEWER, but he knows that Fantomex (who carries no scent) is there because he smelled, and I quote, "a you-shaped hole in the smell of this dump". Fraction, Logan has a very acute sense of smell, not an echolocation device in his nostrils.
<-------------------------------->
W02-"A MAN AHEAD OF HIS TIME" (The Dissector #148, 02/05/10)
COMMENT: Sometimes modern language breaks the suspension of disbelief in period comics... in this case, it was worse than that, it was a gross science/history error too.
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo).
ISSUE: 24.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer).
DISSECTION: This is a book set in Nordic lands in what, the 10th century? The 11th? The exact date really doesn't matter; but Thorir, one of the characters, urges a girl to eat meat because "growing children need protein". Protein? Really?
Wikipedia says: Proteins were first described by the Dutch chemist Gerhardus Johannes Mulder and named by the Swedish chemist Jönsla Jakob Berzelius in 1838. The central role of proteins in living organisms was however not fully appreciated until 1926, when James B. Sumner showed that the enzyme urease was a protein.
So, how is a Norseman in the know this 600 years before proteins were even described? Wood could have had Thorir just say "growing children need meat".
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
W03-"I CAN'T COUNT TOO GOOD." (The Dissector #157, 04/09/10)
COMMENT: When writing Star Trek, you have to remember that characters are highly-educated professionals from the 24th (or around, depending on the series) century, who are used to dealing with alien cultures on a daily basis. Or this happens:
TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (IDW).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Zander Cannon (writer).
DISSECTION: Now, Zander Cannon (whose name still sounds AWESOME) wrote a nice miniseries; which could have been shorter, granted, but still was TNGish enough to be an episode of the show; and Javier Aranda's art in this issue, while ugly, is technically correct enough to make me think he probably grew hands or got cybernetic replacements. Makes me think of a Star Trek roleplayer who had a character with "positronic hands"... ignoring the fact that what was positronic about Data was HIS BRAIN, and it was a feature related to artificial intelligence, NOT HANDS!!!
... but I ramble. In this last issue, Geordi is getting some numerical data from one of the aliens-of-the-week-from-the-planet-of-the-week (Allios IV), to solve a technical conundrum posed by a specific piece of technology developed in that planet. He can't make heads or tails of the numbers he's being fed, and struggles to understand them, and after a great deal of effort... realizes the aliens, who have six fingers on each hand, use a base-12 number system. Yes, Geordi, a professional engineer, who is one of the best Starfleet and the entire Star Trek universe has to offer, only realizes that about a civilization whose technology he's been studying for what seems to be days? Even if it's just hours, THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT WHEN STUDYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SO HEAVILY DEPENDING ON NUMBERS, IS WHAT SYSTEM THEY USE!!!
Me, I'm ashamed I never realized the aliens had six fingers on each hand, and it was never mentioned before. But it'd be in the first page of whatever Wikipedia entry Geordi consulted about this planet.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
W04-"THE FAMOUS VULCAN ELBOW PINCH." (The Dissector #170, 07/10/10)
COMMENT: Knowing Star Trek is important to writing Star Trek. Which is odd in this case, since the Tipton brothers seem to be fans.
TITLE: Star Trek: Burden Of Knowledge (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).
DISSECTION: Spock attempts to render one of the muppet-bird aliens unconscious, but their physiology is not similar to the usual humanoid types. According to Spock "... this race lacks a discernible shoulder necessary for the nerve pinch..." SHOULDER??!?!!? It's the Vulcan NECK pinch!!! (Or nerve pinch, I know.)
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
W05-"FUCKING FIRES, HOW DO THEY WORK?." (The Dissector #183, 11/11/10)
COMMENT: It pains me to nominate one of my favorite books and writers, but same as the third dissection in this category, you need to remember people in the future (at least the future painted in these settings) will be highly educated, particularly in matters that are even obvious to people like me, who haven't finished high school.
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Cosmic Boy goes to the Legion Academy, and while he's reviewing the students, a fire breaks out nearby and they are the closest ones to respond. They go to the scene, and one student that has variable powers (Variable Lad), in this case uses them to become super smart and learn what the best way of putting out the fire is: using the powers of another student who can control chemical reactions (Chemical Kid), because fire is an oxidation. Uhm... and they needed a super intelligent being to figure that out?
Regardless of him being a student and not a battle-hardened Legionnaire, a guy whose powers are to control chemical reactions should think of that first, particularly in the 30th century, with the kind of education they have, plus any further education someone with chemical controlling powers should get on the subject. Controlling the oxidation should be a gut response from Chemical Kid, the same as Bataranging or punching a bank robber is Batman's!
Not to mention the fact that there's two veteran Legionnaires there (Cosmic Boy and Duplicate Girl), and a handful of other students, most of whom should have a pretty advanced science education when compared to today's teenagers or young adults. Anyone today with a barely decent education should know that a fire is a chemical reaction.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
I'm not sure which I'm voting for yet. Let's go on with the nominees for Best Art Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
A01-"THE ROD OF BORIS." (The Dissector #156, 04/02/10)
COMMENT: This is one of my pet peeves; and I finally decided to attribute it to the artist.
TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo)
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer) and/or Leandro Fernandez (penciller).
DISSECTION: Good God... Boris, the apparently Slavic holy man among Norsemen, is also a healer... and his surgical instrument and medicine bag has a caduceus. The caduceus is NOT the symbol of medicine, despite its mistaken use, mainly in the USA, as that. It's a symbol originally for Iris, messenger of Hera, and afterwards of Hermes/Mercury; and through them, a symbol of messengers, gamblers, merchants, shepherds, liars and thieves.
The symbol of medicine is the rod of Asclepius; or the asklepian. Asclepius was the Greek god of healing and medicine, and his symbol is a staff with a snake entwined around it. The caduceus is also a staff, but quite differently shaped than the asklepian. The latter is a rustic wooden staff, while the former is usually a smooth and elegant-looking herald's staff. Furthermore, there are two snakes entwined around the caduceus, and the staff is winged, while the rod of Asclepius is not. Read more about the asklepian, and about the caduceus and the mix ups between the two.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A02-"FACE IS NOT IN MURDOCK'S BOOK.." (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
COMMENT: Simplification is one thing; plain old laziness is another.
TITLE: A-Team: War Stories: Murdock (IDW).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Guiu Vilanova (penciller).
DISSECTION: Artists, and particularly IDW artists, are known to not draw faces on background characters. While it's a practice I don't consider correct, it's understandable. Some IDW artists, however, most specifically, the ones in most of their Star Trek books, have done it to characters that, while not important to the scene, are not in the background. This time, however, Vilanova has taken it too far:
Come on! This is outrageous! Those are the ONLY TWO CHARACTERS IN THE PANEL!!! ONE OF THEM IS THE STAR OF THE BOOK, AND THE OTHER ONE IS TALKING!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!??!!?!?!?!?!?!? Not happy with that, he does it twice more, once again to Murdock, star of the book, WHILE HE'S TALKING AND IS ONE OF THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS IN THE PANEL, AND THEN AGAIN... but in that panel Murdock is not talking, at least.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A03-"RIDDLE ME THIS, RIDDLE ME THAT... WHO'S WEARING THE MANTLE OF THE BAT?" (The Dissector #166, 06/12/10)
COMMENT: Geez, pay some attention to what you're working on.
TITLE: Joker's Asylum II: The Riddler (DC).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Andres Guinaldo (penciller).
DISSECTION: If you're going to tell a flashback story, to when the Riddler wasn't a detective, don't dress Batman with Dick Grayson's current costume... since it's Bruce.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
A04-"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS? WHAT IS THIS, MOSAIC?" (The Dissector #183, 11/11/10)
COMMENT: It hurts when you see that some people (I'm talking about Kirkham here) don't care about what they're working on, when you'd love to be working on comics yourself.
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Tyler Kirkham (penciller) and Nei Rufino (colorist)
DISSECTION: What? Bystanders on Korugar are colored like humans, some lighter, others darker, and it's not a trick of the light or anything, because in the same light as Kyle Rayner, many share his skin color. But that's not the worst thing... they're dressed, unequivocally, in Earth clothes: jackets, baseball caps, hoodies. People from Korugar have pink or red skin, and they certainly shouldn't be wearing normal Earth garments.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, double. Also, Sinestro's ring is colored like his skin in a panel (that's where all the pink ink went!).
<-------------------------------->
Some of those aren't that bad; to be honest. Now the nominees for Best Coloring Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
C01-"COX SUCKER." (The Dissector #152, 03/05/10)
COMMENT: Jeromy Cox, one of this column's mainstays...
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).
DISSECTION: Attention, rant coming...
Jeromy Cox: Monet St. Croix has brown eyes, not blue or green; Namor's should be grey, not whatever weird color you gave him; Layla Miller's eyes are green, not blue; Reed Richards has brown eyes, not blue ones; and Ben Grimm, usually called "Ever Lovin' Blue Eyed Thing"... yes, you guessed it, has BLUE EYES, NOT BROWN ONES!!!! ALSO, YOU MIGHT WANT TO AVOID COLORING LAYLA LIKE SHE'S MONET, SKIN, HAIR AND COSTUME!!!
Your job is to color these books, and I know it can be a hard, detailed job. But can you at least work with character references in front of you, FOR RAINBOW RAIDER'S SAKE?!?!?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: I'm fucking giving 9 Bazzars to each of these, just because of Jeromy's complete inability to color ONE CHARACTER RIGHT.
<-------------------------------->
C02-"AVENGING CHANGING COLORS." (The Dissector #156, 04/02/10)
COMMENT: Is McCaig living with Jeromy?
TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 63.
CULPRIT: Dave McCaig (colorist).
DISSECTION: I'm reading the book, right? And I notice that Jessica Jones' eyes are the wrong color. They're green, when they should be blue. The next page, they're blue. And the next, back to green... and then brown. WTF?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, for the sheer sloppiness. Clint Barton's eyes are green first, then his correct blue color, then green again; Lady Octopus' eyes are green instead of brown, and Danielle Cage is drawn as a 4-6 months baby instead of a year old infant or so. Then I go to see who the colorist was... and the credit read "colorisst"...
<-------------------------------->
C03-"THE GRAY HOOD." (The Dissector #181, 10/14/10)
COMMENT: This was just baffling.
TITLE: Red Hood: The Lost Days (DC).
ISSUE: 05 of 06.
CULPRIT: Brian Reber (colorist).
DISSECTION: Jason Todd is trying to find a girl in a car that's, unwittingly, carrying a bomb. Over the phone, he asks her what kind of car she's in, and she says the car is red. But the colorist made the car gray or black...
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
C04-"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS? WHAT IS THIS, MOSAIC?" (The Dissector #183, 11/11/10)
COMMENT: While Nei's great, this deserved to be nominated for the coloring mistakes too.
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 53.
CULPRIT: Tyler Kirkham (penciller) and Nei Rufino (colorist)
DISSECTION: What? Bystanders on Korugar are colored like humans, some lighter, others darker, and it's not a trick of the light or anything, because in the same light as Kyle Rayner, many share his skin color. But that's not the worst thing... they're dressed, unequivocally, in Earth clothes: jackets, baseball caps, hoodies. People from Korugar have pink or red skin, and they certainly shouldn't be wearing normal Earth garments.
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, double. Also, Sinestro's ring is colored like his skin in a panel (that's where all the pink ink went!).
<-------------------------------->
C05-"WHITE STAR." (The Dissector #189, 12/12/10)
COMMENT: It's disheartening. I don't ask colorists, some of which I've met personally and know they don't care about comics at all (while others are fans too, mind you), to know by heart the detailed histories of each character they color... but is it so hard to check what ethnicity a character is supposed to be?
TITLE: Adventure Comics V1 (DC).
ISSUE: 521.
CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).
DISSECTION: Dawnstar is descended from Native Americans... she is not fair-skinned like Caucasians, and she does not have blue eyes.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Twice. Get a fucking grip on the characters you are working on.
<-------------------------------->
I'm between two of those... Let's go with the nominees for Best Lettering Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
L01-"TRANSBAT." (The Dissector #148, 02/05/09)
COMMENT: Editors ended up taking the blame for this, but it's still a lettering error.
TITLE: Batman And Robin (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Janelle Siegel (assistant editor) & Mike Marts (editor).
DISSECTION: Batwoman and Batman's speech balloons are switched on one page. Letterer Pat Brosseau says in his Facebook page that he was sure it was okay when he handed it in, so I'm going to take his word for it.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
L02-"PUSHER FOR HIRE.!" (The Dissector #163, 05/23/10)
COMMENT: Talk about turning around a story...
TITLE: New Avengers: Luke Cage (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Joe Sabino (letterer).
DISSECTION: Wow, Joe really did screw up on this one:
Cage talks like he's got people selling drugs? The villain who just attacked him says "it takes more than cats to hurt me"?!?!
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
L03-"HÉRR." (The Dissector #185, 11/19/10)
COMMENT: Two of my pet peeves (well, the same one twice, basically), mixed together.
TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man (Marvel).
ISSUE: 647.
CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer).
DISSECTION: Joe's one of my favorite letterers, and that makes this dissection worse... he letter's what's supposed to be the word "Señor" as "Senõr". Not only that, he makes the "o" smaller because of the tilde. *sigh*
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzar's for fucking up the word, 7 for the smaller letter.
<-------------------------------->
L04-"BLURRED DIALOGUES." (The Dissector #187, 11/23/10)
COMMENT: Nothing scandalous, but pretty obvious, and something that shouldn't (but did, and I can't be surprised) have escaped proofreading.
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
Some interesting options. Let's check out the nominees for Best Other Dissection:
<-------------------------------->
O01-"WAR IS MESSY." (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
COMMENT: A real mess.
TITLE: Battlefields (Dynamite).
ISSUE: Honestly, I give up.
CULPRIT: Joseph Rybandt (editor).
DISSECTION: You know I enjoy these books... except for "Dear Billy", all the Battlefield minis have been excellent... well, "Dear Billy" is not bad, but just not to my taste. My favorite was "The Tankies", a three issue miniseries last year. Now the Tankies are back! Is it Battlefields: The Tankies II? Or is it Battlefields: The Firefly And His Majesty, or Battlefields: The Firefly, as it was announced?
No, it's Battlefields #4. What? There was never a book called "Battlefields", it was just Battlefields: The Night Witches, Battlefields: Dear Billy, and Battlefields: The Tankies, Yes, originally it was going to be Battlefields 1 to 9, with each of those three stories taking up three issues; but then, Battlefield: Happy Valley was released... and now a second Tankies story gets #4?
If it's a continuation of the original series of three minis, it'd be #10... if it's a continuation of the whole thing, including Happy Valley, it'd be #13. And if it's a continuation to the Tankies, it'd be #4... So, any way they want to say Dynamite is trying to publish this, it still doesn't make sense. There's also a blurb at the end of issue #5 that says announces the next issue as the conclusion of "the second Battlefields arc". So they're trying to consider this part of Battlefields: The Tankies... why don't you name it Battlefields: The Tankies and that way you can number it from #4?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O02-"JUST SHOOT ME." (The Dissector #171, 07-26-10)
COMMENT: My bad, my bad. I really goofed up here.
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 170.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (editor).
DISSECTION: I was working on the column, and I noticed I didn't have a DT!, so I went and plucked one out of The Rundown... and left it there too. No one seems to have noticed, though, until Sidney did, some time later. Another badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O03-"NUMBER π IN A SERIES." (The Dissector #177, 09/21/10)
COMMENT: Puzzling.
TITLE: B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth - New World (Dark Horse).
ISSUE: 01 and 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor) and/or Samantha Robertson (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Editor Scott Allie tells us readers in the letter column of the first issue that "the B.P.R.D. series that started in 2002 with Hollow Earth has ended with King Of Fear, and now we're into a new series- B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, of which New World is the first arc. (...) But the name of the book is now B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, with subtitles."
Now, this is all fine and dandy, because as you might have noticed if you read B.P.R.D., all of the miniseries feature in the credits a note that says "number ## in a series"; to show that it's all the same series, even if it's not published as a regular ongoing title. And now, it's a new series, "B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth"... but why are issues #1 and #2 marked as "number 69" and "number 70" ("in a series").
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O04-"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!" (The Dissector #187, 11/23/10)
COMMENT: There's hype, and then there's lying and being ridiculous.
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
O05-"CHAOS ATE MY CREDITS." (The Dissector #189, 12/12/10)
COMMENT: Yeah, who cares who wrote and drew this?
TITLE: Chaos War: Alpha Flight (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Unknown editor.
DISSECTION: Yeah.... THERE ARE NO DETAILED CREDITS IN THE WHOLE ISSUE!!! Just last names of writer, penciller, inker, and colorist on the cover...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
I am not voting for myself, that much I can tell you. Now the nominees for the first of the "positive" categories, Best Quote:
<-------------------------------->
Q01-"This is a Christian land, and we a Christian people, but that's not stopped the old gods from reminding us they exist." Hilda, about winter, Northlanders #24. (The Dissector #148, 02/05/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q02-"I leave a lot behind, but never the whisky." John Constantine, Hellblazer #264. (The Dissector #151, 03/03/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q03-"This station will be ground up with your bones into the finest powder which we will snort in our victory orgy." Drenx commander, S.W.O.R.D. #5. (The Dissector #154, 03/19/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q04-"(...) there are promises one makes to oneself, having lived through a holocaust. I'm afraid these promises preclude me from watching the extermination of my people in a reclining position. See to your patients, Dr. McCoy. I will see to our enemies." Max Eisenhardt, aka Magneto, New Mutants V3 #14. (The Dissector #168, 06/25/10)
<-------------------------------->
Q05-"Why does every BBQ I have end with a dead hippie being molested?" Franky, Billy The Kid's Old Timey Oddities And The Ghastly Fiend Of London #2 (The Goon backup story). (The Dissector #184, 11/17/10)
<-------------------------------->
Can't tell you which one I'm voting for, but I've made my choice. Now for the next positive category, the nominees for Best Moment:
<-------------------------------->
M01-From Doomwar #1: You. Do. Not. Fuck. With. The. Wakandan. Royal. Family. (The Dissector #151, 03/03/10)
<-------------------------------->M02-From Superman #697: The Legion's New Espionage Squad, in the 21st century. (The Dissector #152, 03/05/10)
<-------------------------------->M03-From Siege #4: It's over, Norman. (The Dissector #155, 03/26/10)
<-------------------------------->M04-S.H.I.E.L.D. #1: Galileo Vs. Galactus! (The Dissector #158, 04/16/10)
<-------------------------------->M05-From X-Force V3 #26: The death of one of my favorite characters, and something I did not see coming. (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
<-------------------------------->M06-From Ex Machina #50: The return of the Great Machine! (The Dissector #164, 05/28/10)
<-------------------------------->M07-From Strange Tales II #1: Kate Beaton is too funny. (The Dissector #182, 10/31/10)
<-------------------------------->The nominees for Best Cover:
<-------------------------------->
T01-Gravel #16. I like working class magicians, and this cover says "London". By Mike Wolfer. (The Dissector #147, 01/29/10)
<-------------------------------->T02-From The Amazing Spider-Man V1 #625. The Gauntlet could get a bit repetitive, but the Rhino storyline was definitely compelling. Cover by Marko Djurdjevic. (The Dissector #155, 03/26/10)
<-------------------------------->T03-The Flash V3 #3, nice cover by Greg Horn (and it ain't traced porn!). (The Dissector #170, 07/10/10)
<-------------------------------->T04-This is from The Murder Of King Tut #1, by Darwyn Cooke. (The Dissector #171, 07/26/10)
<-------------------------------->Lastly, the nominees for the newest positive category, Best Fight Scene (yes, I know, very MTV of me):
<-------------------------------->
F01-From Mighty Avengers (blanking on the issue), Quicksilver takes down Gary Stu, err, Mr. X (The Dissector #161, 05/08/10)
<-------------------------------->F02-In Hercules: Twilight of A God #2, Herc takes down a future Silver Surfer... with extreme prejudice. (The Dissector #171, 07/26/10)
<-------------------------------->F03-Don't mess with John Walker (the former U.S.Agent), even when he's missing limbs! From Thunderbolts #147 (The Dissector #175, 09/07/10)
<-------------------------------->F04-From Rawhide Kid #4, it's not a physical battle, but a gay fashion showdown in the old west: (The Dissector #178, 09/29/10)
<-------------------------------->F05-From Warriors Three #2, Volstagg The Voluminous (my favorite Thor character) fights trolls (The Dissector #189, 12/13/10)
<-------------------------------->OK, get voting, you have until the end of the month (perhaps a few more days), to do so. Catch you soon with the next regular column. Remember, nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The Dissector #190.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"When I dedicated my life in service to you as Sorcerer Supreme... I remember I closed my eyes and I prayed that one day I would grow up to be a second-rate Jarvis for a second-rate pile of Avengers." Wong, New Avengers V2 #7.
Late, late, late... I know; but here we are with one of the last columns of the year (there will be possibly one more, maximum two), and one of the last before the last comics of the year are published. These, in particular, were released on 12/08. Last column's DT was cracked by Donald313, who pointed out that Aquaman is not half-human, but half-Atlantean, half-Atlantean wizard/demigod. Reader Darryn asked Dan DiDio on Facebook, and DiDio vaguely replied "roll with it". That's not really a confirmation of a retcon to pre-Crisis Aquaman (which is stupid, and makes him more of a Namor knock off); just a FB comment... in last week's issue of Brightest Day, Aquaman mentions Tom Curry as his father; but he doesn't specifically say he's his biological father... until it's explicitly mentioned in a comic, I won't consider it valid. And when it is, I'm still not retracting, because it wasn't done properly beforehand. Yeah, it's my column. Oh, Badge for Donald!
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week weren't spectacularly bad or good... Best Book Of The Week was Booster Gold V2 #39; good read, nice art, but filler. Worst Book Of The Week was Stargate: Daniel Jackson #4, last issue of a mini that had very weak art, and a story that could have been told in a one-shot. And then there's the Cover Of The Week, a nice piece by Marko Djurdjevic for one of the many (unnecessary) Chaos War tie-ins.
The Rundown: B.P.R.D. V2 (series numbering), Booster Gold V2 (eye and hair colors), Chaos War: Ares ("banish this place"?), DC Universe Holiday Special 2010 (wonky phrasing in the Anthro story at one point, John Stewart couldn't have likely patrolled Baghdad, Batman is very well known and recognized as a hero and not a mysterious vigilante like its implied in the Superman story, Supes refers to all heroes as "metahumans", in the Spectre story a speech balloon is misplaced, and in the Legion story, Abnett and Lanning mention stargates, which are not in use in the current LSH continuity), Detective Comics (Dick Grayson's costume is all wrong, emblem, gloves, and belt; in the backup story, Renee's eyes are colored incorrectly), Invaders Now! (accented letter), Justice League: Generation Lost (Fire's hair is inexplicably red in a panel), Namor: The First Mutant (Namor's ankle wings are ginormous on the cover, his eyes are miscolored inside, and the logomancer is still Caucasian colored, with no comment from any character, when they keep reminding Namor, their king, that he's a half-breed), New Avengers V2 (inconsistent lettering on credits and coming attractions page, Victoria Hand's eyes are colored incorrectly, and Danielle Cage is too young and doesn't look like she should), Northlanders (accented letter, and "Commonweath"), R.E.B.E.L.S. (Soranik Natu, John Stewart, and Ganthet have blank eyes at points, John's badge is wrong on the cover, "alternativeto", "forece", Soranik and Kyle should have green boots, not white... and not a dissection, but if John is now a Honor Guard Lantern, who's 2814.2?), Red Robin ("unlimted"), Shadowland: After The Fall ("isn't the Black Panther some sort of African hero?" Come on!!! He was until very recently king of a prominent country, had a celebrity wedding, and has been an Avenger!), What If? Wolverine: Father (Daken's mother is gutted by Wolverine to extract the baby, but there's no sign of blood or anything on the woman's clothes), Widowmaker (shinobi-zu, not zue; accented letter, and what are the Supreme Soviets doing there, and talking about Siberian work camps without anyone commenting on that?).
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTOR DISSECTED."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 189.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe pointed out that I spelled his name incorrectly as "JhonnyDoe" last week; and he also noticed I wrote "wich" instead of "which". Two badges for Johnny. Then Donald313 noticed I used "obviously" instead of "obvious", "not" instead of "note", and "reverses" instead of "reverse". Three badges more for Don, which are more than enough to make him achieve the rank of Captain in the HDSC! Glückwunschs, Kapitän!
DISSECT-O-METER: Various ratings.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S BACK IN FASHION."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Really, the boomerang was popularized in the US when Barry Allen was first active as The Flash? Barry was active in the late 60s?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, why are guards in Iron Heights Penitentiary wearing full body riot armors... with no neck protection at all?
<-------------------------------->
"OHOTMU DISSECTION UPDATE."
TITLE: Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z: Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen & Mike O'Sullivan (coordinators, according to my reader).
DISSECTION: Sidney points out three errors in this issue:
* "De tainment quadrant" in the Beetle's Armor entry.
* "as wellas"in the Marvel Apes entry.
* In Boomerang's (Fred Myers) entry, he was referred to as "Mort" once instead of Myers.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars on each of the spacing issues, 6 Bazzars on the name issue.
<-------------------------------->
"PROJECT: X-MAS."
TITLE: Project Superpowers X-Mas Carol (Dynamite).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Brandon Jerwa (writer) and/or Patrick Berkenkotter (penciller).
DISSECTION: Another dissection spotted by Sidney. The spirit of the Fighting Yank is talking about members of the Supremacy that are still at large, with symbolic pictures of them behind them. However, three of them, President West, Dynamic Man, and Dynamic Woman, quit the Supremacy and joined the heroes a while ago in the second volume of Project Superpowers. Then again, continuity has never been that good in the PS books.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD ANNUAL DISSECTION."
TITLE: X-Men V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: Annual "#1" (2007).
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
DISSECTION: Sometimes I don't understand the numbering changes... this volume of X-Men (the one that's now X-Men Legacy, but will eventually be combined with the current X-Men when they reach a significant numbering...) had three annuals (1992, 1993, and 1994), numbered one through three... then why number this one as #1? It'd make sense if it was a different volume (as the annuals from when Uncanny was merely X-Men), but it's the same volume...
Anyway, here's a DT!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREVER WAVING FLAG."
TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel)
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Rodney Buchemi (penciller).
DISSECTION: At first I thought this was a MOT, because I thought the Uruguayan flag was among the member flags seen outside UN HQ (even though the blue is too light a shade)... but then I noticed that since the first stripe is blue; it can't be Uruguay's, which has as white for its first stripe. It might be the Greek flag, although the blue stripes should be darker too. The blue on Uruguay's flag is darker than the one on the Greek one, which in turn is a shade or two darker than the Argentinian flag; although due to the Uruguayan national football team's jersey being a light blue like the Argentinian flag has, people here insist on using a light blue shade for the flag sometimes...
Oh, sorry, that whole rant had nothing to do with the dissection... in which flags, including recognizable country ones (like Ireland, Spain or Germany) are flow in a random order by artist Buchemi, when flags outside the UN HQ are flown in English alphabetical order, north to south. Even with fictitious Marvel countries possibly there, anyone can tell it's wrong.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Angel is said to be a Chicago native, when he's from Centerport (Long Island, New York), and an accented letter is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
This leaves us with a predictably low 5.5 Bazzars average in fifty-seven dissections. Now, let's end this with the (just two) Moments Of The Week. First up, Booster tells Captain Atom how's it gonna be:
And as a finale, something that made me laugh:
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"When I dedicated my life in service to you as Sorcerer Supreme... I remember I closed my eyes and I prayed that one day I would grow up to be a second-rate Jarvis for a second-rate pile of Avengers." Wong, New Avengers V2 #7.
Late, late, late... I know; but here we are with one of the last columns of the year (there will be possibly one more, maximum two), and one of the last before the last comics of the year are published. These, in particular, were released on 12/08. Last column's DT was cracked by Donald313, who pointed out that Aquaman is not half-human, but half-Atlantean, half-Atlantean wizard/demigod. Reader Darryn asked Dan DiDio on Facebook, and DiDio vaguely replied "roll with it". That's not really a confirmation of a retcon to pre-Crisis Aquaman (which is stupid, and makes him more of a Namor knock off); just a FB comment... in last week's issue of Brightest Day, Aquaman mentions Tom Curry as his father; but he doesn't specifically say he's his biological father... until it's explicitly mentioned in a comic, I won't consider it valid. And when it is, I'm still not retracting, because it wasn't done properly beforehand. Yeah, it's my column. Oh, Badge for Donald!
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week weren't spectacularly bad or good... Best Book Of The Week was Booster Gold V2 #39; good read, nice art, but filler. Worst Book Of The Week was Stargate: Daniel Jackson #4, last issue of a mini that had very weak art, and a story that could have been told in a one-shot. And then there's the Cover Of The Week, a nice piece by Marko Djurdjevic for one of the many (unnecessary) Chaos War tie-ins.The Rundown: B.P.R.D. V2 (series numbering), Booster Gold V2 (eye and hair colors), Chaos War: Ares ("banish this place"?), DC Universe Holiday Special 2010 (wonky phrasing in the Anthro story at one point, John Stewart couldn't have likely patrolled Baghdad, Batman is very well known and recognized as a hero and not a mysterious vigilante like its implied in the Superman story, Supes refers to all heroes as "metahumans", in the Spectre story a speech balloon is misplaced, and in the Legion story, Abnett and Lanning mention stargates, which are not in use in the current LSH continuity), Detective Comics (Dick Grayson's costume is all wrong, emblem, gloves, and belt; in the backup story, Renee's eyes are colored incorrectly), Invaders Now! (accented letter), Justice League: Generation Lost (Fire's hair is inexplicably red in a panel), Namor: The First Mutant (Namor's ankle wings are ginormous on the cover, his eyes are miscolored inside, and the logomancer is still Caucasian colored, with no comment from any character, when they keep reminding Namor, their king, that he's a half-breed), New Avengers V2 (inconsistent lettering on credits and coming attractions page, Victoria Hand's eyes are colored incorrectly, and Danielle Cage is too young and doesn't look like she should), Northlanders (accented letter, and "Commonweath"), R.E.B.E.L.S. (Soranik Natu, John Stewart, and Ganthet have blank eyes at points, John's badge is wrong on the cover, "alternativeto", "forece", Soranik and Kyle should have green boots, not white... and not a dissection, but if John is now a Honor Guard Lantern, who's 2814.2?), Red Robin ("unlimted"), Shadowland: After The Fall ("isn't the Black Panther some sort of African hero?" Come on!!! He was until very recently king of a prominent country, had a celebrity wedding, and has been an Avenger!), What If? Wolverine: Father (Daken's mother is gutted by Wolverine to extract the baby, but there's no sign of blood or anything on the woman's clothes), Widowmaker (shinobi-zu, not zue; accented letter, and what are the Supreme Soviets doing there, and talking about Siberian work camps without anyone commenting on that?).
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTOR DISSECTED."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 189.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: JohnnyDoe pointed out that I spelled his name incorrectly as "JhonnyDoe" last week; and he also noticed I wrote "wich" instead of "which". Two badges for Johnny. Then Donald313 noticed I used "obviously" instead of "obvious", "not" instead of "note", and "reverses" instead of "reverse". Three badges more for Don, which are more than enough to make him achieve the rank of Captain in the HDSC! Glückwunschs, Kapitän!
DISSECT-O-METER: Various ratings.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S BACK IN FASHION."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: Really, the boomerang was popularized in the US when Barry Allen was first active as The Flash? Barry was active in the late 60s?
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, why are guards in Iron Heights Penitentiary wearing full body riot armors... with no neck protection at all?
<-------------------------------->
"OHOTMU DISSECTION UPDATE."
TITLE: Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z: Update (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen & Mike O'Sullivan (coordinators, according to my reader).
DISSECTION: Sidney points out three errors in this issue:
* "De tainment quadrant" in the Beetle's Armor entry.
* "as wellas"in the Marvel Apes entry.
* In Boomerang's (Fred Myers) entry, he was referred to as "Mort" once instead of Myers.
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars on each of the spacing issues, 6 Bazzars on the name issue.
<-------------------------------->
"PROJECT: X-MAS."
TITLE: Project Superpowers X-Mas Carol (Dynamite).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Brandon Jerwa (writer) and/or Patrick Berkenkotter (penciller).
DISSECTION: Another dissection spotted by Sidney. The spirit of the Fighting Yank is talking about members of the Supremacy that are still at large, with symbolic pictures of them behind them. However, three of them, President West, Dynamic Man, and Dynamic Woman, quit the Supremacy and joined the heroes a while ago in the second volume of Project Superpowers. Then again, continuity has never been that good in the PS books.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD ANNUAL DISSECTION."
TITLE: X-Men V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: Annual "#1" (2007).
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
DISSECTION: Sometimes I don't understand the numbering changes... this volume of X-Men (the one that's now X-Men Legacy, but will eventually be combined with the current X-Men when they reach a significant numbering...) had three annuals (1992, 1993, and 1994), numbered one through three... then why number this one as #1? It'd make sense if it was a different volume (as the annuals from when Uncanny was merely X-Men), but it's the same volume...
Anyway, here's a DT!
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREVER WAVING FLAG."
TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel)
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Rodney Buchemi (penciller).
DISSECTION: At first I thought this was a MOT, because I thought the Uruguayan flag was among the member flags seen outside UN HQ (even though the blue is too light a shade)... but then I noticed that since the first stripe is blue; it can't be Uruguay's, which has as white for its first stripe. It might be the Greek flag, although the blue stripes should be darker too. The blue on Uruguay's flag is darker than the one on the Greek one, which in turn is a shade or two darker than the Argentinian flag; although due to the Uruguayan national football team's jersey being a light blue like the Argentinian flag has, people here insist on using a light blue shade for the flag sometimes...
Oh, sorry, that whole rant had nothing to do with the dissection... in which flags, including recognizable country ones (like Ireland, Spain or Germany) are flow in a random order by artist Buchemi, when flags outside the UN HQ are flown in English alphabetical order, north to south. Even with fictitious Marvel countries possibly there, anyone can tell it's wrong.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Angel is said to be a Chicago native, when he's from Centerport (Long Island, New York), and an accented letter is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
This leaves us with a predictably low 5.5 Bazzars average in fifty-seven dissections. Now, let's end this with the (just two) Moments Of The Week. First up, Booster tells Captain Atom how's it gonna be:
And as a finale, something that made me laugh:
That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The Dissector #187.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Thirty-year-old rare Islay malt, and you chuck blocks of frozen water into it?" John Constantine, Hellblazer #273.
Now, this is called being up to date... of course, there's no guarantee that I'll get next column out in time; but anyway. This is the column for books released on 11/17. Last column's DT! wasn't cracked, but there wasn't enough time between columns I guess... wait, as I was getting ready to post this column, Donald313 did it. The problem was that Chameleon mentions committing treason, but he's a Russian citizen, which means he can't be charged with treason against the U.S., can he?
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week this time are: Best Book Of The Week is Hellboy: Double Feature Of Evil. If it wasn't for Corben's art (which is still spectacular), this would fit right in with the early Hellboy adventures. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy Hellboy, but it used to be lighter, even with all the horror and darkness... nowadays, it's become too embroiled in its own mythology, and I truly miss the "old days". Worst Book Of The Week was almost, almost, Superman #704; with its cheap shot story about domestic and child violence.. but at least that comic was passably written and drawn. No, this time it's Superman/Batman #78... first a story about "who would win" between the title characters, from the perspective of two kids; and then a very crappy angsty story about Power Girl (dealing with her already resolved "being from another universe" grief) and Huntress (rehashing her "boohoo my mafia family was killed by more mafia" sob story). This book is pointless, pull the plug on it already.
I don't have much to say about the Cover Of The Week except that it's from Darkwing Duck #6, it's by my fellow Uruguayan Diego Jourdan, and it's a homage to a great Batman cover of yesteryear. Not the first, but a good one.
The Rundown: The Authority: The Lost Year (Swift's ears are pointy again), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit lettering, Jarvis with a full head of hair and blond, Hawkeye doesn't know there's a red Hulk, inconsistent "next issue" lettering), Batman: The Return (Lucius Fox does not look like Morgan Freeman in the comics!), Brightest Day (accented letter), Ghost Projekt (weird dialogue), Green Lantern Corps V2 (several badges and other uniform errors), Hellblazer (the magic circle John left open last issue, the same one Gloria the succubus points to as open... is closed), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering, Justice's current costume should expose his ears, an empathic link should not enable you to have a conversation or send images; only emotions), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's bat emblem is wrong , Zatanna's eyes are colored purple instead of blue), Knights Of The Dinner Table (a dialogue that's pointing to Weird Pete is actually Gordo's), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (two incomplete power listings, and why would Gates need help from Chameleon in adapting to high humidity environments?), Osborn ("preëminent"?), Superman/Batman (Luthor's costume on the cover is wrong, "Powergirl" instead of "Power Girl" at one point), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored incorrectly).
<-------------------------------->
"ATMAN."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 704.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
DISSECTION: Mister Sinister, new reader (or at least new poster, I don't remember him posting before) noticed that credits in this issue say "RITTEN" instead of "WRITTEN". Badge for you, Sinister, and welcome to the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Dick's chest emblem is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"BLURRED DIALOGUES."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"TIGHT PANTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but I won't buy that Larfleeze can steal Barry Allen's wallet... if he keeps it on his person, it's probably stored with his clothes inside his ring; because there's no space in Barry's tights (where he pats his leg after noticing Larfleeze has the wallet)...
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!"
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ESPAIDERGIR."
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's go over this again... Anya's original codename was "Araña"... "ARAÑA"... NOT "ARANA"!!! CAN WE FUCKING REMEMBER THAT IN HER OWN FUCKING BOOK FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!!?!!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, any problem with that?
<-------------------------------->
"MAIDEN OF STEEL DISSECTED."
TITLE: Supergirl V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Wil Moss (assistant editor) and/or Matt Idelson (editor)
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's no way Lois Lane is going to be admitted into Star Labs while wearing a scarf covering most of her face (Muslim-style). I can see Gangbuster letting her in like that, but when she meets him, she's already inside.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR FACTOR."
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 211.
CULPRIT: Matt Milla (colorist).
DISSECTION: It's not Jeromy Cox, but what's up with this book? First Layla's eyes are blue, then green (the right color). Then, Madrox's eyes start out brown, as they should be, then change to green, then to brown again.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
This time the average was 6.1 Bazzars in forty-three dissections... I thought it'd be a bit higher. Moments Of The Week! Modern day Justice sees his past self and is distraught by what he wore (pictured right)... oh, right, because what you wear now (pictured left) is sooo much better!!!
Then, from Green Lantern Corps and Batman, two unfortunate sound effects:
And from Tiny Titans, why the hell is Jor-El in league with Zod and his cronies?
Creepy! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Thirty-year-old rare Islay malt, and you chuck blocks of frozen water into it?" John Constantine, Hellblazer #273.
Now, this is called being up to date... of course, there's no guarantee that I'll get next column out in time; but anyway. This is the column for books released on 11/17. Last column's DT! wasn't cracked, but there wasn't enough time between columns I guess... wait, as I was getting ready to post this column, Donald313 did it. The problem was that Chameleon mentions committing treason, but he's a Russian citizen, which means he can't be charged with treason against the U.S., can he?
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week this time are: Best Book Of The Week is Hellboy: Double Feature Of Evil. If it wasn't for Corben's art (which is still spectacular), this would fit right in with the early Hellboy adventures. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy Hellboy, but it used to be lighter, even with all the horror and darkness... nowadays, it's become too embroiled in its own mythology, and I truly miss the "old days". Worst Book Of The Week was almost, almost, Superman #704; with its cheap shot story about domestic and child violence.. but at least that comic was passably written and drawn. No, this time it's Superman/Batman #78... first a story about "who would win" between the title characters, from the perspective of two kids; and then a very crappy angsty story about Power Girl (dealing with her already resolved "being from another universe" grief) and Huntress (rehashing her "boohoo my mafia family was killed by more mafia" sob story). This book is pointless, pull the plug on it already.
I don't have much to say about the Cover Of The Week except that it's from Darkwing Duck #6, it's by my fellow Uruguayan Diego Jourdan, and it's a homage to a great Batman cover of yesteryear. Not the first, but a good one.The Rundown: The Authority: The Lost Year (Swift's ears are pointy again), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent credit lettering, Jarvis with a full head of hair and blond, Hawkeye doesn't know there's a red Hulk, inconsistent "next issue" lettering), Batman: The Return (Lucius Fox does not look like Morgan Freeman in the comics!), Brightest Day (accented letter), Ghost Projekt (weird dialogue), Green Lantern Corps V2 (several badges and other uniform errors), Hellblazer (the magic circle John left open last issue, the same one Gloria the succubus points to as open... is closed), I Am An Avenger (inconsistent credit lettering, Justice's current costume should expose his ears, an empathic link should not enable you to have a conversation or send images; only emotions), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's bat emblem is wrong , Zatanna's eyes are colored purple instead of blue), Knights Of The Dinner Table (a dialogue that's pointing to Weird Pete is actually Gordo's), Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (two incomplete power listings, and why would Gates need help from Chameleon in adapting to high humidity environments?), Osborn ("preëminent"?), Superman/Batman (Luthor's costume on the cover is wrong, "Powergirl" instead of "Power Girl" at one point), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored incorrectly).
<-------------------------------->
"ATMAN."
TITLE: Batman (DC).
ISSUE: 704.
CULPRIT: Jared K. Fletcher (letterer).
DISSECTION: Mister Sinister, new reader (or at least new poster, I don't remember him posting before) noticed that credits in this issue say "RITTEN" instead of "WRITTEN". Badge for you, Sinister, and welcome to the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Dick's chest emblem is wrong.
<-------------------------------->
"BLURRED DIALOGUES."
TITLE: The Flash V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).
DISSECTION: This one bears showing:
Seems like Sal pastes the text from the script to work on the balloons and actual lettering... but in this case, he forgot to delete or hide that layer when turning in the completed pages. Once upon a time, I would have been amazed at something like this slipping by an editor, but I've been doing this column for five years now...
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. The first letter of a word is missing in another dialogue; and I'm going to blame that on Sal too this time, and Iris' eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"TIGHT PANTS."
TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).
ISSUE: 59.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).
DISSECTION: I'm sorry, but I won't buy that Larfleeze can steal Barry Allen's wallet... if he keeps it on his person, it's probably stored with his clothes inside his ring; because there's no space in Barry's tights (where he pats his leg after noticing Larfleeze has the wallet)...
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Hal Jordan's badge is wrong on the cover and inside.
<-------------------------------->
"FIRST ISSUE EVER... AGAIN!"
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stephen Wacker (senior editor), Nate Cosby (editor), Tom Brennan (associate editor), and Mike Horwitz (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Cover for this first issue says it's the "most synapse-shattering super hero debut of the decade". Really? Can someone explain to me how that's possible? Araña has been around since 2004; and she changed costume and name months ago, jumping around other books with it since then... This is not a debut in any way... at least not a "super hero debut". It might be a "solo series debut" (which would be partially correct), but not what they say...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ESPAIDERGIR."
TITLE: Spider-Girl V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer).
DISSECTION: Let's go over this again... Anya's original codename was "Araña"... "ARAÑA"... NOT "ARANA"!!! CAN WE FUCKING REMEMBER THAT IN HER OWN FUCKING BOOK FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!!?!!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Yes, any problem with that?
<-------------------------------->
"MAIDEN OF STEEL DISSECTED."
TITLE: Supergirl V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 58.
CULPRIT: Wil Moss (assistant editor) and/or Matt Idelson (editor)
DISSECTION: Check this one out:
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, there's no way Lois Lane is going to be admitted into Star Labs while wearing a scarf covering most of her face (Muslim-style). I can see Gangbuster letting her in like that, but when she meets him, she's already inside.
<-------------------------------->
"COLOR FACTOR."
TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 211.
CULPRIT: Matt Milla (colorist).
DISSECTION: It's not Jeromy Cox, but what's up with this book? First Layla's eyes are blue, then green (the right color). Then, Madrox's eyes start out brown, as they should be, then change to green, then to brown again.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
This time the average was 6.1 Bazzars in forty-three dissections... I thought it'd be a bit higher. Moments Of The Week! Modern day Justice sees his past self and is distraught by what he wore (pictured right)... oh, right, because what you wear now (pictured left) is sooo much better!!!
Then, from Green Lantern Corps and Batman, two unfortunate sound effects:
And from Tiny Titans, why the hell is Jor-El in league with Zod and his cronies?
Creepy! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The Dissector #177.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"A Robin who even brings his own crowbar to the party? You might be the funniest one yet." The Joker, Batman And Robin #14.
Late again, but not that late! Here are the dissections found in books (mostly) released on 09/09. Some of my books are arriving late, so this column contains some stuff from 09/01, and some stuff from 09/01 and 09/09 arrived after I started writing this, so they'll end up in next column. HDSC Commander JohnnyDoe caught the DT!, and earns himself his twenty-ninth badge... you have a stretch until you reach Captain at 41 badges. The dissection to spot last column was that the black guy with a green shirt throws the keys at the other guy (who's actually Asian, IIRC), with different skin color and a purple shirt; but they show the dark-skinned, green-shirted hand/arm catching it.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are both Bat-books... Best Book Of The Week is Batman And Robin #14; it's just good writing on Morrison's part, none of that attempted lysergic claptrap he does sometimes, and the art by Frazer Irving is spot on, too. Don't get me wrong, the issue is not amazing by any stretch, but it's good Batman, and from Morrison, who in recent years hasn't been very good in my view (except on this book). Worst Book Of The Week, unfortunately, is by someone I revere as a true master of comic book art: Neal Adams. However, it seems he's not a very good writer... the dialogue in Batman: Odyssey #3 is stiff, out of character (the way Batman and Alfred treat is other is just plain wrong), and the plot hardly flows as it should. A pity; the first two issues weren't awful, but they were kind of poor plot-wise, but this one? Blech...
The Rundown: Adventure Comics V1 (Ultra Boy's powers are incomplete, time travel technobabble is rubbish, Oracle's eyes are colored incorrectly), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Dr. Strange's eyes are miscolored, accented letter), Batman (Bat emblems, a gigantic bat-tracer), Daredevil (blank eyes on a character), Doom Patrol V5 (Elasti-Girl's eyes are colored incorrectly, and the assessment about Kryptonian anatomy is bullcrap), Freedom Fighters V2 (accented letter), Green Lantern V4 (Hal's badge is wrong, and it changes between pages), Invaders Now! (Namor's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Men V3 (Jubilee's eyes are colored incorrectly, then change to the right color).
<-------------------------------->
"NUMBER π IN A SERIES."
TITLE: B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth - New World (Dark Horse).
ISSUE: 01 and 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor) and/or Samantha Robertson (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Editor Scott Allie tells us readers in the letter column of the first issue that "the B.P.R.D. series that started in 2002 with Hollow Earth has ended with King Of Fear, and now we're into a new series- B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, of which New World is the first arc. (...) But the name of the book is now B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, with subtitles."
Now, this is all fine and dandy, because as you might have noticed if you read B.P.R.D., all of the miniseries feature in the credits a note that says "number ## in a series"; to show that it's all the same series, even if it's not published as a regular ongoing title. And now, it's a new series, "B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth"... but why are issues #1 and #2 marked as "number 69" and "number 70" ("in a series").
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ODYSSEY IN READING."
TITLE: Batman: Odyssey (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 13.
CULPRIT: Neal Adams (writer).
DISSECTION: There are several coloring errors in this book, apart from the bad writing. Now, I won't consider the bad dialogues as dissections, mostly... but when Batman solves one of the Riddler's, well, riddles, because "water rhymes with order". Yeah, I couldn't find any way to actually rhyme those two words unless you speak in a heavy Jersey Shore accent and "order" sounds more like "oughter"...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Unfortunately, Adams also makes mistakes in Robin's costume. Since it's early in Batman's career, as established in the first issue, it can't be Tim Drake, nor Jason Todd... yet this Robin is wearing a costume resembling Tim's.
<-------------------------------->
"DISCONTINUITY STUDIOS."
TITLE: Batman: Odyssey (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 13.
CULPRIT: Continuity Studios (colorist).
DISSECTION: Neal Adams and the late Dick Giordano founded Continuity Studios in the early 70s as a comic book packager for publishers. People like Terry Austin, Bob McLeod, Walt Simonson and Jim Starlin have worked there... now apparently it's called Continuity Studios; and whoever they have working there as a colorists signs the colors for this book. It's most likely a team of people taking turns or the like...
Now, this issue had a few coloring mistakes. Alfred and Robin (regardless of which Robin he's supposed to be) get brown eyes; Robin's costume changes colors; his hair changes colors too; and the Riddler's eyes and hair are miscolored too.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for each wrong coloring, 7 for the changing ones.
<-------------------------------->
"R.E.B.E.L.ATIONS."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 175.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Lt. Commander Donald313 earns another badge (and is two badges away from a promotion to Cmdr.) by noticing that in the column for the month of August I said the quote for 08/04 was from R.E.B.E.L.S. #19, but the Best Book of that week was #20. My bad, I made a typo. Issue #19 was from that week.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY-IN-LAW?"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 48.
CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).
DISSECTION: Well, the HDSC has been busy this past week! Ensign Darryn earns himself his second badge by calling my attention to the following:
"Hey big fella, you missed one in JLA 48, by James Robinson & Mark Bagley.
Battle scene, page 12, panel 1 - since when has Jesse been married to .... REX??"
Good point... She's married to Rick Tyler... Rex Tyler is her father-in-law.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OS NOVOS MUTANTES PRA SEMPRE!"
TITLE: New Mutants Forever (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).
DISSECTION: Claremont's writing in this title is a bit better than in X-Men Forever, but that doesn't stop him from destroying non-English languages. First of all, why are Sunspot and his mother, when having a private conversation, speaking in English? And if you're going to throw in Portuguese words at random, Chris, make sure they're actually in Portuguese. "Hola" and "mama" are Spanish words. You were looking for "mãe" or "mamãe" and "ola" or "oi". In fact, "mama", in Portuguese, means "breast"...
Then, if you're going to use Brazilian police divisions, try to get the names right. The Força Nacional de Segurança Pública (not "Forca...") was founded in 2004; but I can believe it's right after that in this timeline... but their rapid deployment division is called "Batalhão Especial de Pronto Emprego", not "Batalhao Especial de Pronto"... not only you wrote "Batalhão" wrong, but you forgot the last word, rendering the name "Special Rapid Battalion".
The Latin is also bullshit, accented letters are smaller than they should be, Nova Roma is NOT in the Andes, and I will not believe that there are no references to the Red Skull in the X-Men's database that Cypher could find.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"FLASH! OH, WAIT, IT'S RED ROBIN."
TITLE: Red Robin (DC).
ISSUE: 16.
CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza (writer).
DISSECTION: Am I really supposed to buy that Red Robin uses an glider with no other propulsion than wind to cover a distance of fourteen blocks in about 50 seconds?
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTGATE."
TITLE: Stargate: Daniel Jackson (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 02 of 04.
CULPRIT: John Watson (penciller).
DISSECTION: Spot me this one:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THERE'S KRYPTONITE IN HIS COFFEE."
TITLE: Superman: Last Family of Krypton (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Renato Arlem (penciller).
DISSECTION: When this issue starts, it's about 15-16 years since Jor-El, Lara, and Kal-El arrived on Earth. Jor-El, at their arrival, looked about 35-40, at most, and in very good shape. Then why, over a decade later, and with yellow sun powers, does he look like his in his mid to late 50s? In fact, his appearance, and Kal-El's varies between pages that are only seconds apart in the timeline.
All that said, I'm thoroughly enjoying this miniseries.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AN ISLAND THE SIZE OF BRAZIL, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC, POPULATED BY TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE."
TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).
DISSECTION: What starship do the Starjammers have in this universe that's BIGGER THAN THE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN?!?!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, issue #7 has an accented letter smaller than it should be.
<-------------------------------->
This week yielded a 6.4 Bazzars average in forty-four dissections. Pretty much the usual. Cover Of The Week is this last cover for Daytripper; by Gabriel Bá:
A low key piece graphically showing the deconstruction the book's main character underwent during the story... at least, that's how I see it. Now, Moments Of The Week! The House Of El:
Okay, Don-El is Richard Donner, Ter-El is Joe Shuster, and Seyg-El is Jerry Siegel... but who's Jan-L? At first I thought it might be Janelle Siegel, DC assistant editor who's not even working in this book, and may or may not be related to Jerry (I doubt it)? However, my Superman expert pal, Kal, noted that all those names were from the late 80s John Byrne series "The World of Krypton", and Janelle Siegel was born in 1983... I'd welcome any suggestions about who Byrne named Jan-L after... because with the obvious tributes in the other names, I doubt this name wasn't one. Next, how do you convince a lazy cowboy to help you hunt down Jack the Ripper?
Like so. And who do you most expect to find in a battle of nerds and geeks?
Why, of course, Henry Kissinger, wearing an old-school Cylon costume! Speaking of shiny silver and matte black armored people, look who's back:
The Predator! THAT Predator!!! And for a finale, Tony Stark outgrows science:
He's science fiction! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"A Robin who even brings his own crowbar to the party? You might be the funniest one yet." The Joker, Batman And Robin #14.
Late again, but not that late! Here are the dissections found in books (mostly) released on 09/09. Some of my books are arriving late, so this column contains some stuff from 09/01, and some stuff from 09/01 and 09/09 arrived after I started writing this, so they'll end up in next column. HDSC Commander JohnnyDoe caught the DT!, and earns himself his twenty-ninth badge... you have a stretch until you reach Captain at 41 badges. The dissection to spot last column was that the black guy with a green shirt throws the keys at the other guy (who's actually Asian, IIRC), with different skin color and a purple shirt; but they show the dark-skinned, green-shirted hand/arm catching it.
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are both Bat-books... Best Book Of The Week is Batman And Robin #14; it's just good writing on Morrison's part, none of that attempted lysergic claptrap he does sometimes, and the art by Frazer Irving is spot on, too. Don't get me wrong, the issue is not amazing by any stretch, but it's good Batman, and from Morrison, who in recent years hasn't been very good in my view (except on this book). Worst Book Of The Week, unfortunately, is by someone I revere as a true master of comic book art: Neal Adams. However, it seems he's not a very good writer... the dialogue in Batman: Odyssey #3 is stiff, out of character (the way Batman and Alfred treat is other is just plain wrong), and the plot hardly flows as it should. A pity; the first two issues weren't awful, but they were kind of poor plot-wise, but this one? Blech...
The Rundown: Adventure Comics V1 (Ultra Boy's powers are incomplete, time travel technobabble is rubbish, Oracle's eyes are colored incorrectly), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Dr. Strange's eyes are miscolored, accented letter), Batman (Bat emblems, a gigantic bat-tracer), Daredevil (blank eyes on a character), Doom Patrol V5 (Elasti-Girl's eyes are colored incorrectly, and the assessment about Kryptonian anatomy is bullcrap), Freedom Fighters V2 (accented letter), Green Lantern V4 (Hal's badge is wrong, and it changes between pages), Invaders Now! (Namor's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Men V3 (Jubilee's eyes are colored incorrectly, then change to the right color).
<-------------------------------->
"NUMBER π IN A SERIES."
TITLE: B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth - New World (Dark Horse).
ISSUE: 01 and 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor) and/or Samantha Robertson (assistant editor).
DISSECTION: Editor Scott Allie tells us readers in the letter column of the first issue that "the B.P.R.D. series that started in 2002 with Hollow Earth has ended with King Of Fear, and now we're into a new series- B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, of which New World is the first arc. (...) But the name of the book is now B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth, with subtitles."
Now, this is all fine and dandy, because as you might have noticed if you read B.P.R.D., all of the miniseries feature in the credits a note that says "number ## in a series"; to show that it's all the same series, even if it's not published as a regular ongoing title. And now, it's a new series, "B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth"... but why are issues #1 and #2 marked as "number 69" and "number 70" ("in a series").
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ODYSSEY IN READING."
TITLE: Batman: Odyssey (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 13.
CULPRIT: Neal Adams (writer).
DISSECTION: There are several coloring errors in this book, apart from the bad writing. Now, I won't consider the bad dialogues as dissections, mostly... but when Batman solves one of the Riddler's, well, riddles, because "water rhymes with order". Yeah, I couldn't find any way to actually rhyme those two words unless you speak in a heavy Jersey Shore accent and "order" sounds more like "oughter"...
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Unfortunately, Adams also makes mistakes in Robin's costume. Since it's early in Batman's career, as established in the first issue, it can't be Tim Drake, nor Jason Todd... yet this Robin is wearing a costume resembling Tim's.
<-------------------------------->
"DISCONTINUITY STUDIOS."
TITLE: Batman: Odyssey (DC).
ISSUE: 03 of 13.
CULPRIT: Continuity Studios (colorist).
DISSECTION: Neal Adams and the late Dick Giordano founded Continuity Studios in the early 70s as a comic book packager for publishers. People like Terry Austin, Bob McLeod, Walt Simonson and Jim Starlin have worked there... now apparently it's called Continuity Studios; and whoever they have working there as a colorists signs the colors for this book. It's most likely a team of people taking turns or the like...
Now, this issue had a few coloring mistakes. Alfred and Robin (regardless of which Robin he's supposed to be) get brown eyes; Robin's costume changes colors; his hair changes colors too; and the Riddler's eyes and hair are miscolored too.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars for each wrong coloring, 7 for the changing ones.
<-------------------------------->
"R.E.B.E.L.ATIONS."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 175.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: Lt. Commander Donald313 earns another badge (and is two badges away from a promotion to Cmdr.) by noticing that in the column for the month of August I said the quote for 08/04 was from R.E.B.E.L.S. #19, but the Best Book of that week was #20. My bad, I made a typo. Issue #19 was from that week.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY-IN-LAW?"
TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 48.
CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).
DISSECTION: Well, the HDSC has been busy this past week! Ensign Darryn earns himself his second badge by calling my attention to the following:
"Hey big fella, you missed one in JLA 48, by James Robinson & Mark Bagley.
Battle scene, page 12, panel 1 - since when has Jesse been married to .... REX??"
Good point... She's married to Rick Tyler... Rex Tyler is her father-in-law.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OS NOVOS MUTANTES PRA SEMPRE!"
TITLE: New Mutants Forever (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 05.
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).
DISSECTION: Claremont's writing in this title is a bit better than in X-Men Forever, but that doesn't stop him from destroying non-English languages. First of all, why are Sunspot and his mother, when having a private conversation, speaking in English? And if you're going to throw in Portuguese words at random, Chris, make sure they're actually in Portuguese. "Hola" and "mama" are Spanish words. You were looking for "mãe" or "mamãe" and "ola" or "oi". In fact, "mama", in Portuguese, means "breast"...
Then, if you're going to use Brazilian police divisions, try to get the names right. The Força Nacional de Segurança Pública (not "Forca...") was founded in 2004; but I can believe it's right after that in this timeline... but their rapid deployment division is called "Batalhão Especial de Pronto Emprego", not "Batalhao Especial de Pronto"... not only you wrote "Batalhão" wrong, but you forgot the last word, rendering the name "Special Rapid Battalion".
The Latin is also bullshit, accented letters are smaller than they should be, Nova Roma is NOT in the Andes, and I will not believe that there are no references to the Red Skull in the X-Men's database that Cypher could find.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"FLASH! OH, WAIT, IT'S RED ROBIN."
TITLE: Red Robin (DC).
ISSUE: 16.
CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza (writer).
DISSECTION: Am I really supposed to buy that Red Robin uses an glider with no other propulsion than wind to cover a distance of fourteen blocks in about 50 seconds?
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTGATE."
TITLE: Stargate: Daniel Jackson (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 02 of 04.
CULPRIT: John Watson (penciller).
DISSECTION: Spot me this one:
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THERE'S KRYPTONITE IN HIS COFFEE."
TITLE: Superman: Last Family of Krypton (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Renato Arlem (penciller).
DISSECTION: When this issue starts, it's about 15-16 years since Jor-El, Lara, and Kal-El arrived on Earth. Jor-El, at their arrival, looked about 35-40, at most, and in very good shape. Then why, over a decade later, and with yellow sun powers, does he look like his in his mid to late 50s? In fact, his appearance, and Kal-El's varies between pages that are only seconds apart in the timeline.
All that said, I'm thoroughly enjoying this miniseries.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AN ISLAND THE SIZE OF BRAZIL, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC, POPULATED BY TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE."
TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).
DISSECTION: What starship do the Starjammers have in this universe that's BIGGER THAN THE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN?!?!?!?
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, issue #7 has an accented letter smaller than it should be.
<-------------------------------->
This week yielded a 6.4 Bazzars average in forty-four dissections. Pretty much the usual. Cover Of The Week is this last cover for Daytripper; by Gabriel Bá:
A low key piece graphically showing the deconstruction the book's main character underwent during the story... at least, that's how I see it. Now, Moments Of The Week! The House Of El:
Okay, Don-El is Richard Donner, Ter-El is Joe Shuster, and Seyg-El is Jerry Siegel... but who's Jan-L? At first I thought it might be Janelle Siegel, DC assistant editor who's not even working in this book, and may or may not be related to Jerry (I doubt it)? However, my Superman expert pal, Kal, noted that all those names were from the late 80s John Byrne series "The World of Krypton", and Janelle Siegel was born in 1983... I'd welcome any suggestions about who Byrne named Jan-L after... because with the obvious tributes in the other names, I doubt this name wasn't one. Next, how do you convince a lazy cowboy to help you hunt down Jack the Ripper?
Like so. And who do you most expect to find in a battle of nerds and geeks?
Why, of course, Henry Kissinger, wearing an old-school Cylon costume! Speaking of shiny silver and matte black armored people, look who's back:
The Predator! THAT Predator!!! And for a finale, Tony Stark outgrows science:
He's science fiction! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The Dissector #170.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Oh, and it's not a ghost. It's a perturbation of consciousness in a previously unknown incorporeal medium." Dr. Atomic Robo Tesla, about Undead Edison, Atomic Robo And The Revenge Of The Vampire Dimension #4.
Late again, I know, but cut me a break... I'm sad because my vacation is at an end, I go back to work next Monday! Last week's DT! was cracked by David, who earns himself another badge. In the picture I showed, how the hell is Superman carrying Lois Lane? I mean... is she all tensed up, in some sort of super-gymnast pose?!?!
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo And The Revenge Of The Vampire Dimension #4... even without any vampires. It features the return of Edison... or the first appearance of Undead Edison (or Undeadison, as I like to call him), and it's the usual perfect mix of humor, pulp, scifi, and just plain good comic book-ery.
Worst Book Of The Week? Heralds #5... last issue of the mini; a story that could have been told in a one-shot, but instead was rammed down our throats one issue a week, and according to Tom Brevoort, the writer and the artists were very ahead in the work, enough to publish it weekly. Yeah... so, apart from the cookie-cutter plot, how do you explain these:
I'll allow for artists not drawing every single face in background characters (but not when one character gets a face, and the one next to that one doesn't), but this is too much. How can those panels be called anything but half-assed? I normally enjoy Kathryn Immonen's work, and Tonci Zonjic's art is good, but this... I don't know. Oh, yeah, I know... it sucks.
The Rundown: Abe Sapien: The Abyssal Plain (translated from "the" Russian?), The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: American Son (Norman's eyes), Angel Negro Especial ("protejer" instead of "proteger"), Astonishing X-Men (Storm's eyes shouldn't be blank if she's not using her powers), Doomwar (wrong military rank for Jim Rhodes), Ghost Projekt (if the Russian characters are talking in Russian, why are they constructing broken sentences?), Invincible Iron Man (Mandarin's eyes should be blue, not green, and why does the obviously Chinese director have green eyes?), Iron Man: Kiss And Kill (Tony Stark drinking booze willingly after he's gone sober? And his middle name is "Edward", not "Edwards"), Joker's Asylum II: Clayface (ridiculous cape and bat ears), Justice League Of America V2 (wrong shape for Alan Scott's lantern), Justice Society Of America V3 (Captain Nazi's medals again, plus they announce JLA #44 for next month), The New Avengers: Luke Cage (Danielle Cage), Prince Of Persia: Before The Sandstorm (accented letter), Spider-Ham 25th Anniversary Special (the cover says "Anniversay"), Thor V1 (accented letters, Wonder Woman V1 (accented letter, and Cassandra Cain acting like she's Stephanie Brown), X-Campus (Caldecott County is not in Georgia, it's in Mississippi; Wolverine's eyes are green in the comic, but blue in the next issue preview), X-Men: Curse Of the Mutants Saga (Weapon Plus was a US project, but Weapon X was an offshoot with US funds, but Canadian management, not just US).
<-------------------------------->
"ONE, TO, THREE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 169.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: David noticed that I wrote "two", instead of "to", when I dissected Green Lantern Corps... another badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Snakebyte also noticed that I forgot to put a volume number in LSH for the dissections, then I wrote "Mon-El's detailed" instead of "Mon-El's is detailed"; and I also changed the name of X-Men: Second Coming to "X-Men: Second Calling".
<-------------------------------->
"IRON MAN: KISS AND DISSECT."
TITLE: Iron Man: Kiss And Kill (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Karl Kesel (writer).
DISSECTION: What's wrong here?
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, why is Tony Stark, even undercover, drinking alcohol willingly, in a story that's obviously set in modern times, when he's sober?
<-------------------------------->
"MARZAL: OUT OF THIS WORLD."
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Sidney noticed that Tyroc's homeworld is listed as "Marzal", when Marzal is an island on Earth (dimensionally shifted, yes, but still on Earth).
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Badge for Sidney, one more and you make Lt. Commander.
<-------------------------------->
"IDENTITY CRISIS."
TITLE: The New Avengers V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stuart Immonen (penciller).
DISSECTION: With Clint Barton in his Hawkeye costume, Immonen decided to add Ronin in there for good measure. Tom Brevoort admitted to the error, and said they tried to remove all Ronin's from the pictures before printing, but they missed one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE FAMOUS VULCAN ELBOW PINCH."
TITLE: Star Trek: Burden Of Knowledge (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).
DISSECTION: Spock attempts to render one of the muppet-bird aliens unconscious, but their physiology is not similar to the usual humanoid types. According to Spock "... this race lacks a discernible shoulder necessary for the nerve pinch..." SHOULDER??!?!!? It's the Vulcan NECK pinch!!! (Or nerve pinch, I know.)
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS RADIO HAS STATIC."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 84.
CULPRIT: Felicia D. Henderson (writer).
DISSECTION: Trying to find Raven in a mystical dimension, the Teen Titans need to come up with a plan. Static Shock, who apparently can generate radio waves (plausible), wants to bounce waves all over the area, to find objects that give a "radio ping" different to the dimension's standard. Okay, I can go with that... but why does he need Kid Flash to generate a vortex by moving his hand in circles to make his radio waves travel? And if he can hear radio waves (as he's done in his comics and TV show), why does he need Superboy to fly up and listen to them? Come to think of it, how is Superboy talking to him, trying to tell him something he doesn't want Wonder Girl to hear, if she's less than two meters from Static Shock?
What?
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
What a low average! 5.5 Bazzars in forty-one dissections... pretty low. Okay, let's end this thing quick... Cover Of The Week goes to Flash #3:
By Greg Horn, amazingly, it's not traced porn... or it's a very weird sexual position... Now, Moments Of The Week... first, the kind of stuff I love about Atomic Robo:
UNDEADISON!!! Then, speaking of mad scientists and their descendants:
Not ringing a bell? Well, it seems that Captain Swing (Jonathan Rheinhardt) seems to be an ancestor of Doktor Sleepless (John Reinhardt). There might be a typo in Swing’s name, but I’ll let it slide, as some names are spelled different, specially when someone emigrates to another country. Next, Lobo has some fun;
And great fun it is. But he eventually leaves Earth, and he took a souvenir:
Oh, shit... that's one of the scariest things I've seen in comics in a long time.... Now, from a very off-beat comic I picked up last week, Werewolves Of Montpellier:
It wasn't at all what I expected (I expected French Victorian werewolves, to be honest), but it was entertaining, and it had this very Seinfield moment. And last, while I didn't expect much from X-Campus, I certainly didn't expect this:
Magneto, turned into a tinted-glassed, soul-patched douche.... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Oh, and it's not a ghost. It's a perturbation of consciousness in a previously unknown incorporeal medium." Dr. Atomic Robo Tesla, about Undead Edison, Atomic Robo And The Revenge Of The Vampire Dimension #4.
Late again, I know, but cut me a break... I'm sad because my vacation is at an end, I go back to work next Monday! Last week's DT! was cracked by David, who earns himself another badge. In the picture I showed, how the hell is Superman carrying Lois Lane? I mean... is she all tensed up, in some sort of super-gymnast pose?!?!
The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo And The Revenge Of The Vampire Dimension #4... even without any vampires. It features the return of Edison... or the first appearance of Undead Edison (or Undeadison, as I like to call him), and it's the usual perfect mix of humor, pulp, scifi, and just plain good comic book-ery.
Worst Book Of The Week? Heralds #5... last issue of the mini; a story that could have been told in a one-shot, but instead was rammed down our throats one issue a week, and according to Tom Brevoort, the writer and the artists were very ahead in the work, enough to publish it weekly. Yeah... so, apart from the cookie-cutter plot, how do you explain these:
I'll allow for artists not drawing every single face in background characters (but not when one character gets a face, and the one next to that one doesn't), but this is too much. How can those panels be called anything but half-assed? I normally enjoy Kathryn Immonen's work, and Tonci Zonjic's art is good, but this... I don't know. Oh, yeah, I know... it sucks.
The Rundown: Abe Sapien: The Abyssal Plain (translated from "the" Russian?), The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: American Son (Norman's eyes), Angel Negro Especial ("protejer" instead of "proteger"), Astonishing X-Men (Storm's eyes shouldn't be blank if she's not using her powers), Doomwar (wrong military rank for Jim Rhodes), Ghost Projekt (if the Russian characters are talking in Russian, why are they constructing broken sentences?), Invincible Iron Man (Mandarin's eyes should be blue, not green, and why does the obviously Chinese director have green eyes?), Iron Man: Kiss And Kill (Tony Stark drinking booze willingly after he's gone sober? And his middle name is "Edward", not "Edwards"), Joker's Asylum II: Clayface (ridiculous cape and bat ears), Justice League Of America V2 (wrong shape for Alan Scott's lantern), Justice Society Of America V3 (Captain Nazi's medals again, plus they announce JLA #44 for next month), The New Avengers: Luke Cage (Danielle Cage), Prince Of Persia: Before The Sandstorm (accented letter), Spider-Ham 25th Anniversary Special (the cover says "Anniversay"), Thor V1 (accented letters, Wonder Woman V1 (accented letter, and Cassandra Cain acting like she's Stephanie Brown), X-Campus (Caldecott County is not in Georgia, it's in Mississippi; Wolverine's eyes are green in the comic, but blue in the next issue preview), X-Men: Curse Of the Mutants Saga (Weapon Plus was a US project, but Weapon X was an offshoot with US funds, but Canadian management, not just US).
<-------------------------------->
"ONE, TO, THREE."
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 169.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: David noticed that I wrote "two", instead of "to", when I dissected Green Lantern Corps... another badge for him.
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Snakebyte also noticed that I forgot to put a volume number in LSH for the dissections, then I wrote "Mon-El's detailed" instead of "Mon-El's is detailed"; and I also changed the name of X-Men: Second Coming to "X-Men: Second Calling".
<-------------------------------->
"IRON MAN: KISS AND DISSECT."
TITLE: Iron Man: Kiss And Kill (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Karl Kesel (writer).
DISSECTION: What's wrong here?
DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, why is Tony Stark, even undercover, drinking alcohol willingly, in a story that's obviously set in modern times, when he's sober?
<-------------------------------->
"MARZAL: OUT OF THIS WORLD."
TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).
DISSECTION: Sidney noticed that Tyroc's homeworld is listed as "Marzal", when Marzal is an island on Earth (dimensionally shifted, yes, but still on Earth).
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Badge for Sidney, one more and you make Lt. Commander.
<-------------------------------->
"IDENTITY CRISIS."
TITLE: The New Avengers V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Stuart Immonen (penciller).
DISSECTION: With Clint Barton in his Hawkeye costume, Immonen decided to add Ronin in there for good measure. Tom Brevoort admitted to the error, and said they tried to remove all Ronin's from the pictures before printing, but they missed one.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE FAMOUS VULCAN ELBOW PINCH."
TITLE: Star Trek: Burden Of Knowledge (IDW).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).
DISSECTION: Spock attempts to render one of the muppet-bird aliens unconscious, but their physiology is not similar to the usual humanoid types. According to Spock "... this race lacks a discernible shoulder necessary for the nerve pinch..." SHOULDER??!?!!? It's the Vulcan NECK pinch!!! (Or nerve pinch, I know.)
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS RADIO HAS STATIC."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 84.
CULPRIT: Felicia D. Henderson (writer).
DISSECTION: Trying to find Raven in a mystical dimension, the Teen Titans need to come up with a plan. Static Shock, who apparently can generate radio waves (plausible), wants to bounce waves all over the area, to find objects that give a "radio ping" different to the dimension's standard. Okay, I can go with that... but why does he need Kid Flash to generate a vortex by moving his hand in circles to make his radio waves travel? And if he can hear radio waves (as he's done in his comics and TV show), why does he need Superboy to fly up and listen to them? Come to think of it, how is Superboy talking to him, trying to tell him something he doesn't want Wonder Girl to hear, if she's less than two meters from Static Shock?
What?
DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
What a low average! 5.5 Bazzars in forty-one dissections... pretty low. Okay, let's end this thing quick... Cover Of The Week goes to Flash #3:
By Greg Horn, amazingly, it's not traced porn... or it's a very weird sexual position... Now, Moments Of The Week... first, the kind of stuff I love about Atomic Robo:
UNDEADISON!!! Then, speaking of mad scientists and their descendants:
Not ringing a bell? Well, it seems that Captain Swing (Jonathan Rheinhardt) seems to be an ancestor of Doktor Sleepless (John Reinhardt). There might be a typo in Swing’s name, but I’ll let it slide, as some names are spelled different, specially when someone emigrates to another country. Next, Lobo has some fun;
And great fun it is. But he eventually leaves Earth, and he took a souvenir:
Oh, shit... that's one of the scariest things I've seen in comics in a long time.... Now, from a very off-beat comic I picked up last week, Werewolves Of Montpellier:
It wasn't at all what I expected (I expected French Victorian werewolves, to be honest), but it was entertaining, and it had this very Seinfield moment. And last, while I didn't expect much from X-Campus, I certainly didn't expect this:
Magneto, turned into a tinted-glassed, soul-patched douche.... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
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