The Dissector #192.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Did I ever tell you the story of how I stormed the beach at Normandy? I was late by a year or so, but I stormed it solo. Then walked up a hill into a small French village. I entered a bakery and a Frenchwoman gave me a croissant. And then I left. (...) Come to think of it, I did bang her in a haystack later. Dammit, now I want a croissant." Grandpa Vork, The Guild: Vork.

Welcome to the last column of the year! Not the last column about 2010 comics (this one is for books released on 12/22), because we have the last batch of books of the year coming out today, and we'll have the Autopsy Awards next year. Let's get this one over with as quickly as possible... I'm not taking any vacations from the column, however, so I'll see you next week. Last column's DT! was cracked by JohnnyDoe, who correctly pointed out that Superboy's right hand should have been missing, since he lost it in the fight with Superboy Prime (and that's the way it was in the original panel in Infinite Crisis). Badge for JD!

I know this cover isn't very flashy, but Gilbert Hernández’s alternate cover for The Guild: Vork perfectly illustrates the sadness of Vork's life. Haven't seen The Guild? Go watch it, I find MMORPGs boring, but the show was still funny to me. The rest of The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #8; even with small mistakes, Paul Levitz is still a good writer (unlike other, unfortunate examples), and this time Yildiray Cinar's pencils didn't suffer as much from Daniel HDR's intrusion (when is Cinar going to pick up full pencilling of the book again?), making for a solid, if not extraordinary book... but this is one of my favorite teams, so in a week devoid of any other book that stood out, it gets best book. Worst Book Of The Week was Teen Titans: Cold Case... not horrible, but it had some subpar writing, and the art was uninspired and too cartoony for my tastes.

The Rundown: Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Bruce's chest emblem is wrong, the Penguin shouldn't have pointed ears in comics), Chaos War: Dead Avengers (wrong Spanish), DC Universe: Legacies (the fucking timeline, Batman's costume color is wrong), Green Lantern: Larfleeze Christmas Special (GL badges), Green Lantern Corps V2 (badges and masks), Justice League: Generation Lost (bad Portuguese), Justice League Of America V2 (Dick's belt and emblem, and another reference to him not being used to big cosmic battles... he fucking lead the Titans against Trigon like two thousand times...), Outsiders V4 (Katana shouldn't have blue eyes, she's Japanese... and I'm being generous on the topic of her skin color), Power Girl V2 (they don't see Max Lord in a surveillance cam, they see a random man, but they answer they don't see a man on the screen? and Dick's emblem again), Secret Avengers (inconsistent roster lettering), Star Wars: Invasion - Rescues (once more, New Jedi Order is not about Luke Skywalker's descendants, that's Legacy), Uncanny X-Men (physiognomies, again), Warlord Of Mars (am I supposed to believe that a US Civil War Captain knows about gravity and how it would affect him in Mars? there's also an incomplete sentence in the post-comic diary), X-Men V3 (Wolverine's eyes are brown, then blue; the whole Jubilee's vampirism as incurable thing is ignoring Spitfire, who's also Blade's girlfriend).
<-------------------------------->
"UNDER PRESSURE."

TITLE: Batman Incorporated (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Grant Morrison (writer).

DISSECTION: Atlantean crown jewels can't, according to Bruce Wayne, withstand pressures "above 1000 atmospheres", since they were obviously crafted under water, at enormous depths... don't you mean "below 1000 atmospheres", Bruce? Considering we live at one atmosphere...

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"GIGI."

TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).

DISSECTION: Science Police member Gigi Cusimano was Legion/SP liaison for years, plus she dated Legionnaires (at least Sun Boy, and Colossal Boy when he wasn't yet a Legionnaire), she's friends with the Legion... how could she not know Wildfire's natural state is energy?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Colossal Boy's eyes are colored correctly, then incorrectly, he shouldn't be surprised at a Durlan growing (since Cham has done it in the past, right in front of him, too), and Dawnstar's powers are still listed incompletely. Levitz is a great writer, he still has the skills, but sometimes it seems he's phoning it in...
<-------------------------------->
"CHILL."

TITLE: Teen Titans: Cold Case (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mark Sable (writer).

DISSECTION: Check this one, tell me what you see:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT IF?"

TITLE: What If? Dark Reign (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Jason Henderson (writer).

DISSECTION: A reporter protests on how "we bailed on registration"... but they didn't, the whole point of Dark Reign was that registration continued under Norman Osborn's watch.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
So, the last column of the year ends up with a 6.3 Bazzars average in thirty-six dissections. The very definition of "standard" around these parts. Now, we only have two Moments Of The Week, and they're both complaints. Batman, Inc. is a good concept, but I believe it's stupid for Bruce Wayne to reveal he's behind Batman, particularly when he a) still runs around inside a Batman costume, b) his three closest costumed associates are his children (two adoptive and one biological), c) those three sons are the exact heights and builds as the other Batman, Red Robin, and Robin and he paraded them in front of the press even if Damian hadn't been introduced to the public, and d) half of Gotham's population might suspect him of being Batman anyway. Add on top of that the fact that he's going around the world fronting Batman, Inc. and dealing with foreign governments and police departments, behaving in ways that completely throw overboard his playboy persona, and it's like he doesn't care if his cover is blown... Wait, maybe he just gave up on hiding it altogether! Of course, he has protection, so do his friends and associates... man, what a great moment to be a random employee of Wayne Enterprises!!!

But I actually wanted to focus on the "Batmen" that will be posted around the world. Obviously, Knight will be the UK's, I guess Gaucho (appearing in next issue) will be Argentina's (and by extension, Uruguay's, since we probably don't merit Bruce's attention)... but I thought we had more than enough with two actual Batmen... Then why is Night Runner (France) wearing this after being recruited?


Ah, well, it's only a Bat emblem, and one that's radically different from the Batmen's... in fact, he's not even wearing Bat-ears, or spiked gloves. Well, at least Night Runner isn't...


... that's Batman Japan. I don't know if it's actually "Batman Japan" or "Batman" Japan; but that's the guy who'll work for Bruce in Japan. He's the former Mr. Unknown; more precisely his stand-in, since the original Mr. Unknown was too old for any combat or acrobatics and just did the detective work. A Batman Beyond approach for a city that already looks a lot like the future. But now, after Mr. Unknown's death, he's been recruited as the Japan representative of Batman, Inc.... WHICH APPARENTLY MEANS HE HAS TO WEAR A FUCKING BATMAN COSTUME AND ACTUALLY CALL HIMSELF BATMAN!!!! NO!!! NO!!!!! NOOOOO!!! MORRISON YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!!! DESIGN HIM A FUCKING NEW IDENTITY, BAT-INSPIRED IF YOU WANT, BUT DON'T MAKE HIM AN ACTUAL BATMAN!!!!

That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

PS: Oh, and happy New Year to everyone!

The Dissector #142.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"So one Green Lantern baddie. One giant skeleton-guy. One freaky Guardian. And a Black Lantern in a pear tree." Flash (Wally West), Blackest Night #5.

Good afternoon, or whatever time of the day it is while you read this, the column for comics released on the week of 11/25 (as usual, with a few books from previous weeks). The end of the year is near, which means that the third annual Autopsy Awards are coming! Nominees will be announced sometime in the first two weeks of January in a special column, and while I've been setting aside my own choices, readers are welcome to submit proposals for Best Quote, Best Moment, Best Cover, and special awards.

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Detective Comics #859; Greg Rucka provides an interesting main story with Batwoman's past, and a great second feature with The Question; although the art for the latter is nowhere as good as J. H. Williams' art for the main story. Superman: Secret Origins was almost book of the week, with enjoyable plot and good art (except for my usual gripe about Gary Frank's faces for Clark), but I really can't get behind Geoff John's decisions to have Ron Troupe and Cat Grant working at the Daily Planet before Clark. Worst of all, I can't accept the Daily Planet being a failed newspaper that can barely stay afloat, with the added insult that Perry White is a has been that's too scared to publish stories on City Hall's corruption or inefficiency, for example. Geoff, this takes away a lot of value from Perry as a character, implying that the only reason the planet is a great newspaper is because Clark is there, bringing in the Superman exclusives...

Worst Book Of The Week? Well, simply Super Friends #21. I don't know why I still read this book; it aims at children while basically treating them as idiots; forgetting also to aim for their parents, like Franklin Richards: Son Of A Genius or Tiny Titans do. No one cracked the DT!; the problem was that Bucky-Cap says that Captain America was pulled out of the water and brought into "this decade"; and sliding timeline or not, there's no way Steve was revived in 2001...

Here is The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man ("Michele" Gonzales), Blackest Night (Hal's badge, Wally West's mask, Kid Flash's costume), Dark Avengers: Ares (Ares eyes are colored blue), Detective Comics (Huntress' costume is wrong), Dominic Fortune (Dominic's eyes are colored incorrectly on the cover, accented letter), Fantastic Four V1 (Psionics' eyes are colored wrong), Green Lantern V4 (the issue happens before Blackest Night #5, but it says it happens before issue #6... still technically correct, but...), Guardians of the Galaxy V2 (Starlord's eyes are colored incorrectly), Incredible Hercules (USAgent, then his shield and costume are colored incorrectly on the cover, Wolverine's and Ares' eyes are colored incorrectly), Justice League: Cry For Justice (Hal's badge, Jay Garrick's hair, Vixen's skin is colored as if she were the same skin tone as the Caucasian characters around her), The Last Resort (bad Spanish, an accented letter actually has an apostrophe next to it instead of an accent on top of it), New Avengers (Captain America's eyes are wrong, H.A.M.M.E.R. soldiers have wrong uniforms, and Daredevil's mask is wrong), New Mutants V3 (mentioning Magik's, uhm, magical abilities might be nice in the character's power listing), Super Friends V2 (Aquaman's eyes are wrong), Ultimate Comics Avengers (a fired bullet doesn't look like a bullet right out of the box), Uncanny X-Men (Namor's eyes should be grey, not blue), Web Of Spider-Man V2 (Spider-Girl's and JJJ's eyes are colored incorrectly, plus "Burmuda" is not a country), World's Finest V3 (Guardian's eyes are brown, which is wrong, then blue, the right color), X-Men Forever V2 (eye colors, accented letters, "Woverine", Beast and Ororo with the wrong eye design, and most of all, Chris, it's "Spetsnatz", or even "Specnatz", but not "Spetsnatst"), Zorro (the usual ton of accented letters and "ñ"s, several incorrect uses of the Spanish language, even a misspelled English word, and Zorro's eyes colored incorrectly).

Speaking of Zorro, I received the latest two issues late; #16 from last month had no wrong uses of the Spanish language by the writer, only lettering mistakes; and I will admit that #17 (from the week before the one for this column) didn't have that many Spanish atrocities. However, I'm very, very irked at how Matt Wagner, the book's writer, keeps using Spanish words and expressions in the dialogue that, for the readers benefit, is translated to English. The same way as "tovarishti" should have been translated in that X-Men forever dialogue, there should be no Spanish words in Zorro's dialogue. I wrote an e-mail to Dynamite Entertainment, where I tell them how much I enjoy the comic, but how sloppy and disrespectful this way of writing is... I've posted it on a few places to share my concerns with my fellow readers, so read it if you want, and if it bothers you too (even if you're not a Spanish-speaker), write an e-mail to Dynamite. You can haz disecshuns nao:
<-------------------------------->
"NEW AGE STUPIDITY."

TITLE: Arkham Reborn (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: David Hine (writer).

DISSECTION: Even in the most hippie mental facility, are we really supposed to believe that a dangerous criminal, particularly one like Killer Croc who has a bloody jacuzzi in his cell, nay, room, will have an accessible, open electrical outlet?

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"EXAGGERATION, MUCH?"

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Christos N. Gage (writer) and/or Rachel Pinnelas (assistant editor) & Bill Roseman (editor).

DISSECTION: The intro blurb says "... after Stamford, Connecticut was destroyed..."; but Stamford was not destroyed, a school and surrounding houses in Stamford were destroyed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WRONG KITTY."

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Christos N. Gage (writer).

DISSECTION: Tigra claims to have empathic abilities; but she never had such powers. Hellcat, on the other hand, which is a different character (Tigra was "The Cat") used to have some psionic abilities, and still has a few echoes of them.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTORO."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 132.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I credited Black Panther artist Will Conrad as "Will Conrado".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"INTRODUCING THE NEW FLUIDMAC."

TITLE: G.I. Joe Origins (IDW).

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Andrea Mutti (artist).

DISSECTION: This was almost this week's DT!; a terrorist ignites a computer with a termite bomb to get rid of data; and Scarlet tries to salvage the hard drive. While she kicks the computer tower, it changes shape and size.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, a phrase in Gaeilge is spelled incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"LIAR, LIAR. PANTS ON FIRE. WHERE'S YOUR GAG FLOWER THAT SHOOTS WATER TO PUT IT OUT?"

TITLE: Gotham Sirens (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

DISSECTION: Gaggy, the Joker's former sidekick, tells a tale of the first time the Joker went to prison, or at least of the last time he went to jail before being declared insane and sent to Arkham Asylum. Problem is, that according to the recent Joker origin told in Batman Confidential #7-12, the first time he was captured he went straight to Arkham.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Poison Ivy claims she "didn't bring enough vines" to free herself and Catwoman from a trap; when we've seen her cause gigantic plants to sprout out of building floors and walls without any plant matter around.
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"PEROXIDE HOOD."

TITLE: The Invincible Iron Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Frank D'Armata (colorist).

DISSECTION: Frank, what the hell are you on? Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly, Tony's eyes are wrong... and the Hood is blond?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars each.
<-------------------------------->
"VIBE THIS!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 39.

CULPRIT: Mark Bagley (penciller).

DISSECTION: Check this one out, Mr. Paco Ramone, aka Vibe, comes back from the dead. Sorta.


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LIGHT CURRY."

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 39.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: Psst... James... Dr. Light, the villain, is Arthur LIGHT, not Curry. That's Aquaman.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"AND CAPTAIN ATOM WAS IN THE NAVY."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Bill Willingham (writer).

DISSECTION: Mr. Willingham heard a great joke, and he just had to use it. Do you know what "army" stands for? Ain't ready for the Marines yet! HAH! Hilarious!!! And it would be even more hilarious to see Magog taunt Major Force with that after the villain tells him he hates jarheads because he was in the Army... if Major Force hadn't been IN THE AIR FORCE!!!

I really don't expect each writer to be familiar with every single character in the universe they're writing in. But come on, Google "Major Force" and the first link you get is the Wikipedia article on the character, and the second paragraph in the article says "While in the USAF...". Basic research, the jokes you want to tell have to work around the characters you're using, not the other way around.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Power Girl's hairstyle is wrong, and Jay Garrick's boots are drawn incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"SECRET TIMELINE."

TITLE: Secret Warriors (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Hickman (writer).

DISSECTION: Again, fuck the sliding timeline, are we really meant to believe that it's been only FIVE WEEKS since Secret Invasion? Spider-Man spent TWO MONTHS in a macroverse with the Fantastic Four, for example, not to mention all the stuff that's happened in other books since Secret Invasion that no way could have happened in five weeks.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"WEARING LIFTS."

TITLE: Secret Warriors (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Alessandro Viti (artist).

DISSECTION: Yes, sure. Ten-year old (physically, at least) Alexander is half a head shorter than Hercules.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Balder and Alex have their eyes colored incorrectly.
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"POOR BOTHANS."

TITLE: Star Wars: Legacy (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: 42.

CULPRIT: Dave Ross (penciller).

DISSECTION: Ross adds yet another interpretation to how Bothans look.


Hey, Dave... that looks like a Shistavanen.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Mon Calamari hands and feet are drawn incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
So, the average for this week was 6.7 Bazzars in a hundred and twenty-two dissections. The usual, more or less; but in a busload of dissections. Cover Of The Week was this simple, but effective cover to Unknown Soldier #14 by Dave Johnson:


Moments of The Week? We have plenty! First up, more Legionnaires in the present!


That's Matter Eater Lad, for the uninformed, even wearing a shirt and t-shirt in the same color scheme as his uniform. Then, Blackest Night gets worse:


Yikes. Then, Super Friends is basically crap, but it has its moments:


I love the Disco Leprechaun. Then, Dominic Fortune:


... but his enemies misfortune. Oh, and now:


Incest! It's almost like Star Wars!!! Now, Superman: Secret Origins is not all about making the Daily Planet staff a bunch of simpletons:


Lois know something is up... Back to Marvel, but Ultimate:


Yeah, Ulti-Cap is a bit more... badass than regular Cap... Now, two Knights Of The Dinner Table moments:


Eww... Barbara Blackburn!!! WHY??!?! The images in my mind are now... etched onto it... You paying for therapy? And next, Gee-Jay himself takes the fight to the Wicked Witch:


Damn straight! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #141.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I feel like a hung-over Frazetta painting." Lobo, Lobo: Highway To Hell #1.

Welcome to the column for comics released on 11/18, and happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it. I don't, but still; it doesn't hurt to be polite. That quote up there is from a book released some weeks earlier, but since it was good, and I just got the comic recently, I chose that one. Now, the DT! from last week was cracked by Donald313, who pointed out that the word "tovarishti" is kept in Russian while the text is in English, and surrounded by translation brackets, so it should have been translated to "comrades". Donald reaches the rank of Lieutenant, and Emerre in turn noticed that the brackets in two of the balloons hadn't been closed.

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week was The Flash: Rebirth #5; just great use by Geoff Johns of the Flash family, and a new "Impulse"! Geez, that family has a tradition of hand-me-down codenames! Worst Book Of The Week was Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts #1, because although the script by Zander Cannon (nice pulp style name) reads like a TNG episode, the art by Javier Aranda is simply atrocious. Look below, and even overlooking the large amount of errors (later in the column), I cannot help wondering why, with all the good, and even mediocre artists that probably charge cheap, must art chores be given to people with blunt crayons tied to bloody stumps?


See what I mean? What the hell is wrong with Troi's hair? Why does Picard's head keep changing shapes? Why does Beverly Crusher look like a crash test dummy with a wig? Why do people in general look like characters from a crappy fan comic? *sigh*

The Rundown! Adventure Comics (Ultra Boy's costume is wrong, the Ranzz twins hair should be red, not blonde), Air (accented letter), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (the Black Cat's costume is wrong), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Robin's costume is wrong, and Kate Spencer's eyes should be blue, not brown), Dark Avengers (Norman's eyes), Dark Reign - The List: Amazing Spider-Man (accented letter, Victoria Hand's eyes should be blue), Dark Reign: Zodiac (Reed Richards has brown eyes, not blue like in this comic), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Bruce Banner's eyes are colored incorrectly), Realm Of Kings: Inhumans (Maximus' eyes are wrong), Superman/Batman (the Bizarro speak is inconsistent), Thunderbolts (accented letters, and "Ñ"s), X-Men Forever V2 (translation brackets without closing). Now, dissections.
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"BATMAN: THE ABSURD."

TITLE: Batman: The Unseen (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Kelley Jones (artist).

DISSECTION: Again, Batman's costume is grotesque. The Bat-ears on his cowl are a feet or a feet and a half long; the spikes on his gloves are like half a foot long; and his cape is large enough to cover his entire body around twice, reach down to the floor (and beyond), extend a meter and a half away from his body and completely engulf the upper body of a grown man... ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"UNCLE TOM."

TITLE: Black Panther V5 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Will Conrad (artist).

DISSECTION: Once more, Wakandan television has writing in English, but that's not the problem... now Wakandan farmers look like black people from the southern US in 1912...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WATER! WATER HEALS ALL SICKNESSES!"

TITLE: Black Panther V5 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Maberry (writer).

DISSECTION: If Wakandan crops and soil are infected with diseases and plagues... what good would it be to have Storm cause rain to fall on them? And even then, why is her rain expected to magically make plant life sprout instantaneously, as if she had control over vegetation?

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. There's no need to show her using her powers to reveal that the crops are infected.
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"TRACTION."

TITLE: The Flash: Rebirth (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 06.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: The Flashes use a technique called a "sonic bomb" to fight Reverse Flash; as long as they can "outrun the sound waves", it won't affect them. As Thawne's feet are not touching the ground, he doesn't have any traction to run... what? How many times have they shown speedsters running on water, or basically flying because they're running fast?

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. There are also several costuming mistakes.
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"JUSTICE SOCIETY OF DUBIOUS SCIENCE."

TITLE: Justice Society of America 80-Page Giant (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Matthew Sturgeon (writer).

DISSECTION: The book is rife with costuming mistakes, and for some reason, Cyclone's monkey, Frank, can fly on his own (psst, guys, the wings he wears are just a costume)... but the problem is that Mr. Terrific shows dubious scientific knowledge when he positions that "it stands to reason that a device with prophetic powers would cause gravitational rifts"... He also says that it would cause "time-like anomalies"; which is understandable, even if doubtful, since it sees the future, not actually travel in time (in fact, they specify that there's no time travel involved)... but gravitational rifts because it sees the future? What?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MISS CYCLONE FANTASTICO."

TITLE: Justice Society of America 80-Page Giant (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Neil Edwards (penciller).

DISSECTION: Here's a favorite of one my readers, Miss Kitty Fantastico (who I haven't seen in a long time, I'll drop him a line), a Cyclone costuming mistake! In the first short story, Cyclone's tank top's straps appear and disappear. To be honest, there are a few more errors in her costume throughout the book.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"DISSECTOR TO."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 114.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Just stumbled upon this one while checking stuff for this column. I wrote "Maxine to Spartan", when it should have been "Maxine refers to Spartan".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"IT'S SHARP!"

TITLE: Mighty Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Sean Chen (penciller).

DISSECTION: Stature shrinks and she and Ronin do the old "tiny person flying on an arrow" trick, but she holds on to the sharp outer edges of the arrowhead, with her bare fingers. Yeah. That'll work nicely.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"MIGHTY DISSECTION."

TITLE: Mighty Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Christos N. Gage (scripters).

DISSECTION: Check this out, it should be easy:


DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Numerous miscellaneous errors, and although the U.S.Agent is referred to as "USAgent" on the recap page, his name is spelled correctly in the story. Almost... it's spelled U.S. Agent. Yes, there is a difference, but I'll let it slide this time.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF UNIFORM?"

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Javier Aranda (artist).

DISSECTION: There are plenty of dissections in this book, so I'll just show the worst art one, and the worst writing one. Additionally, I'll say that Riker's eyes are brown instead of his correct blue, Deanna Troi's eyes are wrong, Worf's warrior sash is missing, Data has Lieutenant rank insignia, when he's a Lt. Cmdr., Picard has Commander pips at one point, and Beverly Crusher should be wearing three solid pips, since she was a Commander from the show's start, instead of one pip... or two, as she wears in this book depending on the panel.

Now, the worst art dissection was that the uniform designs don't match the real uniforms from the TV show... not only that, but the designs change from page to page, and even are mirrored; switching horizontal orientation. See below, first what a real TNG uniform looks like, then how Aranda mangles them and doesn't even keep them consistent during the issue:


For starters, there's Picard in his uniform. The shoulders and the neckline look a bit different, but that's pretty much acceptable; stuff that depends on angles and whatnot. But then there's the lower part of the jacket... there's a "spike", let's call it, pointing at Jean-Luc's right hip, and the red fabric slopes up in a twenty degree (more or less) angle towards a few inches before his left hip, then angles down to a second spike towards it. Then, from that spike, you have a line straight up towards his left armpit. Now that I look at it closely, it's basically the shape of the Star Fleet "alpha" badge.

Now look at the Picard drawn by Aranda. The line from the first spike to the second has a much sharper angle, and it's noticeably shorter, leading to a much wider second spike. Yes, he's kind of turned sideways, but still, the design is different; as the red fabric covers the zone under his armpit, something that doesn't happen in the real uniform.

Then, in the third image, Data (or a snowman dressed in his clothes... more like a blow up doll) has a uniform with a different design from the one Picard wears in the previous picture... and Riker has a different one, and it looks like Worf wears a third different design, and Picard too... then... WAIT!!! Look at that... I just realized that for ONE, and only ONE panel in the whole comic, Worf wears his sash... and it looks more like a Pancho Villa bullet belt!!!! Of course, in that picture Picard and Riker are wearing a fourth and fifth designs, and they're even mirrored...

Fantastic Aranda, fantastic. Please, IDW, quit ruining your Star Trek comics... half of them have subpar artists... and some, like this one, have people who should not be hired for professional artwork. This is no longer a dissection thing, but an actual, honest, completely objective quality appraisal. Aranda is BAD, his human(oid) figures are inconsistent, his designs don't stay the same, and everything looks UGLY. And yes, Worf appears in about fourteen panels in the whole comic, and he's only wearing his sash (which doesn't look much like his sash) in one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for the horrible uniform debacle. I look forward to the next issue of this book... as long as the writer e-mails me the script, or Javier Aranda is replaced by someone (yes, even Rob Liefield would do).
<-------------------------------->
"POOR GEORDI."

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Zander Cannon (writer).

DISSECTION: Zander, I can't help but love your name... and this is coming from someone who goes by "MaGnUs von Tesla" on Facebook, an excellent name if there ever was one. Still, I have to dissect your work... The comic is stated to be happening on stardate 44751.3, which means it's the fourth season of TNG (which happens between stardates 44001.4-44995.3), year 2367. Geordi is shown and referred to as Lieutenant; but he was promoted to Lieutenant Commander in 2366.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. We Trekkies take our continuity seriously.
<-------------------------------->
"LAW & DISORDER."

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak (writer).

DISSECTION: Norman Osborn and H.A.M.M.E.R. turn James Rhodes over to the International Criminal Court (ICC from now on). *sigh* Where do I start? First of all, H.A.M.M.E.R. is a US organization; it's not international as S.H.I.E.L.D. was, and the USA is not a member of the ICC. A little background: The United States of America, through then president Bill Clinton, signed the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court in 2000. However, Clinton stated that he would not submit it to the Senate for advice and consent for ratification until the U.S. government had a chance to assess the functioning of the court (although he supported the proposed role of the ICC and its aims). A treaty that is not ratified is not legally binding.

In 2002, the 60 requisite ratifications for the Rome Statue were reached, and US President George W. Bush's administration sent a note to the UN Secretary General suspending the US government's signature of the statute, and informing that the USA recognized no obligation towards the Court.

Additionally, the US government stated that its intention not to become a member state of the ICC be reflected in the UN documentation, specifically because signatories have an obligation not to undermine the object and purpose of a treaty.

Now, let's assume that one of the following three things is true: 1) That H.A.M.M.E.R. is a UN organization (which it's not, from all that's been shown in the comics), 2) That in the Marvel Universe, the USA is a member of the ICC (which I doubt), or 3) That the USA is making an exception and collaborating with the ICC, since many of War Machine's crimes were committed outside the US (which is believable, I guess). Assuming any of those three things to be true... judging Rhodes in the ICC is still wrong.

In broad strokes, the ICC's purpose is to prosecute individuals for genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and the crime of aggression (although it cannot currently exercise jurisdiction over the latter). War Machine's crimes do not fall within any of those definitions; he's no different than many unregistered heroes, or rather, since he kills, no different than most supervillains, or even vigilantes like Moon Knight (at his worst) or the Punisher. At most, he's a terrorist... and the International Criminal Court does not have jurisdiction over terrorism.

Many member states wanted to add terrorism and drug trafficking to the list of crimes covered by the Rome Statute; however, the states were unable to agree on a definition for terrorism, and drug trafficking was left out because as this might overwhelm the court's limited resources.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. But, as infomercials say, this is not all! Read the next dissection for a complete screw-up, writing and art-wise.
<-------------------------------->
"IN-TER-NA-TIO-NAL."

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Wellinton Alves (penciller).

DISSECTION: This is even worse, because if you want to justify the previous dissection, you can always claim "things are different in the Marvel Universe!". In this case, however, there is no excuse. Jim Rhodes stands before a single judge (something that never happens in the ICC as far as I was able to ascertain) in an ICC courtroom (that looks nothing like the real ones)... and there's a US flag to the side of the judge and a US seal behind her.

Why? Why the hell would you do that Alves? INTERNATIONAL. CRIMINAL. COURT. INTERNATIONAL!!!

INTER-FUCKING-NATIONAL!!!

I can understand an American, with the (no offense meant to my American readers) general sense of being the center of the world US citizens have, starting with the fact that they call themselves "Americans", as if they were the only residents of the American continent. But a Brazilian artist? Please Wellinton, use the internet, do some research... Typing three worlds and clicking on three links I found this 360º photographic virtual tour of one of the ICC. And even if you didn't HAVE an internet connection, why in the name of Khan Noonien Singh would you think of putting US symbols in the INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL COURT??!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Of course, there are eye color mistakes and other stuff.
<-------------------------------->
There we go... a 6.7 Bazzars average in sixty-four dissections. I thought it would be a bit higher, but no. The Cover Of The Week comes from this week's Best Book; a simple but effective homage by Ethan Van Sciver to the cover of Flash V1 #123 (1961), the classic "Flash Of Two Worlds" story that introduced the concept of the multiverse to DC comics, and one of the most homaged covers in the history of comics:


Now, Moments Of The Week! Hercules just amuses me:


And he doesn't stop amusing me:


Then, something that made a bit sad...


... but then Tiny Titans writer Art Baltazar enlightened me and made me feel like an idiot... that's not a tinyverse Ralph Dibny Jr., but Jimmy Olsen... Now, despite all the flaws in War Machine #11, I liked this scene:



Pwnd! And last, still catching up with Knights Of The Dinner Table, Tuley not only leaked the horrible Heidi Jackson version of Hackmaster to the net to save the game, he also takes step to give the witch herself a good taste of fan anger.


That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #139.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"The men of the Bronze Age were the children of humans and gods. They performed great deeds, rid the world of giant monsters, pursued the Golden Fleece on the Argo and waged war against Troy. (...) Now, we suffer through the doleful Iron Age. (...) The once-sacred powers of the gods are made mockery by freaks of science who wear their underwear on the outside of their clothing!" Hera, Assault On New Olympus.

Welcome to the column for the first week of November, 11/04. There are a few books I haven't received yet, and also a few back issues I included here, mostly in The Rundown, but the Best Book Of The Week is from some weeks ago. Last issue's DT! was spotted by JohnnyDoe, and it was the fact that James Rhodes' mother is colored as a Caucasian, instead of a black woman. Good job, Lieutenant, two more badges and you make Lt. Commander!

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Like I said, Best Book Of The Week is actually a bit older, since there wasn't anything that really jumped out at me this week. I'm talking about Ex Machina #46; not as good as other issues of that book, but always, always solid. Worst Book Of The Week was Magog #3. Not only is that book pointless (and I'm dropping it starting next month, since there's nothing in it for me, not even curiosity as in the case of Loeb's Hulk), but it's horribly drawn, and there were like ten caption boxes of Magog's thoughts to each speech balloon. Book's not pretty? Not interesting? And it's not even dynamic? Bleh.

Here's The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man Presents - Anti-Venom: New Ways to Live (language mistakes), Assault On New Olympus (Hercules' eyes should be blue, not brown, it's U.S.Agent, not USAgent), Batman Confidential (wrong eye color in a character, wrong emblem on Batman, horribly drawn map), Black Widow: Deadly Origin (Wolverine and the Black Widow get wrong eye colors), Captain America: Reborn (a letter "V" is not Doctor Doom's crest, and his eyes are not red), Dark Reign - The List: Hulk (wrong eye colors), Dark Reign - The List: Wolverine (Wolverine's eyes should be blue, not brown), Deadpool Team-Up (accented letter, Hercules' eyes, Arcade's eyes), Deathlok V4 (the word is "dispute", not "despute", and is it "Rand" or "Brand"?), Doctor Voodoo: Avenger Of The Supernatural (accented letters), Ex Machina (accented letters), Greek Street ("cant" instead of "can't"), Star Trek: Romulans Schism (again with the Klingon emperor), Warlord V4 (characters' eyes disappear, Shakira's eyes change to brown for the last page), Wildcats V5 (accented letter), X-Men Origins: Iceman (the Xavier mansion looks wrong). Dissections!!!
<-------------------------------->
"A BAT WITHOUT SONAR."

TITLE: Batman: The Unseen (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Doug Moench (writer).

DISSECTION: Not only is Batman's costume awful again, but now he can't fight against an unseen enemy (who's just a scientist, not a fighter). Only after he's hit a few times he decides to turn on his infrared lenses. Yeah, right.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Commissioner Gordon has a hard time believing someone can turn invisible? Pfft.
<-------------------------------->
"KEVIN, READ UP ON YOUR AQUAMAN."

TITLE: Batman: The Widening Gyre (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Kevin Smith (writer).

DISSECTION: If you want to write things in continuity, be up to speed with continuity. Aquaman makes an appearance, and it's classic Aquaman, Orin aka Arthur, because of the costume, and the familiarity which with he talks to Bruce, and about J'onn and others from the League. And this is during the time when Tim Drake wore his post OYL costume (which by the way, has the wrong emblem).

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, Bruce Wayne's body has scars that look... like someone played tic tac toe on his skin, not like real scars; plus there's none on his legs, at all.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S THERE FAULT."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 138.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: We have a new Lieutenant in the HDSC, Mr. Donald313. In his own words: "Okay, I´m late. But you said I only need one more badge, and you also nitpick tiny mistakes, so I´m gonna reach out. In your dissection about the Marvel Divas #4 you write "their presence their" when it should be "their presence there". I feel dirty now, but anything for a promotion :)".

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TEMPEST BLEDSOE."

TITLE: Doom Patrol V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 04.

CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (writer).

DISSECTION: I understand that New Earth is a new continuity; although it is a lot like Post Crisis Earth, much like the latter was mostly Earth-1, with bits and pieces of Earth-2, Earth-S and the other Earths that survived the Antimatter Wave; unless you specifically reboot something. For example, Superman's origin after Crisis was changed, and his continuity completely rebooted; his continuity hasn't been rebooted after Infinite Crisis, but there is a retelling of his origin.

However, changing a character's powers complete and utterly, just because, without any (apparent, at least as of yet) significance? No, I find that unacceptable. Tempest's (Joshua Clay, not Garth) powers have been changed from energy blasts to... weather control. Unless there's some kind of explanation, even if it's just Giffen saying "New Earth".

After some research, I found out that some five years after Tempest's first appearance (Showcase V1 #94, 1977), Giffen pencilled DC Comics Presents #52 (1982), where Clay shoots cyclone-style blasts and flies propelled by some sort of fog. That issue is written by Kupperberg; and Clay refers to his powers as "mutant-blasts", and talks about creating vortexes. None of that was there in the Showcase issues; where they were just "power blasts", also written by Kupperberg.

On the 1978 issues of Superman Family (Supergirl/Doom Patrol stories by Gerry Conway) he has "blast powers", and the 1983 issues of "The Daring New Adventures Of Supergirl" by Kupperberg he has "force-blasts", which look like cyclones, but are never said to have anything to do with weather. In the late 80s, when Paul Kupperberg used Tempest in V2 of the Doom Patrol book. And Kupperberg wrote that DC Comics Presents story, so if he corrected his powers for his DP run, he must have realized it was a mistake.

I like how Kupperberg writes, but he also refers to "Lazarus" as "Lazurus", so I wouldn't put it past his early eighties self to use the word "vortexes" without checking what it meant really, and Giffen just drawing it as, well, vortexes; given that the character's name is "Tempest". For some reason, almost 30 years later, Giffen decides Tempest has weather powers... well, understandable, but I will still consider it a mistake unless there was a story need for it... or Giffen says it's just a retcon he decided to do because he damned well pleased.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. As usual, also, Rita Farr's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"MASTERS OF DISSECTION."

TITLE: House Of M: Masters Of Evil (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Christos N. Gage (writer) and/or Manuel Garcia (penciller).

DISSECTION: This one is easy:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ROGUE GLOVE."

TITLE: House Of M: Masters Of Evil (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Manuel Garcia (penciller) and/or Chris Sotomayor (colorist).

DISSECTION: Rogue steals someone's powers by touching them... wearing gloves.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, The Hood has blue eyes, when they should be brown.
<-------------------------------->
"MONSTURODEFENSOFORZO!"

TITLE: Psylocke (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Chris Yost (writer).

DISSECTION: Japanese security forces stop Psylocke at the airport, saying that mutants are not welcome, and they know who she is... yet they don't bring any kind of psychic protection? Not believable.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, I doubt it'd be the police, as Psylocke refers to them, it should be the Self-Defense Forces guarding an airport, guarding the country against foreign mutants.
<-------------------------------->
"WRONG ASIAN COUNTRY."

TITLE: Psylocke (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Harvey Tolibao (penciller) and Ulises Arreola & Brian Reber (colorists).

DISSECTION: Why do Japanese policemen look like Chinese soldiers, complete with a RED STAR ON THEIR CAPS AND HELMETS?!??!!??! I don't care if they're some special anti-metahuman task force (which brings us to the previous dissection), Japanese cops and soldiers don't look like Chinese ones. Psst, guys... try giving them a white or gold sakura blossom on the caps and helmets... it's a bit more Japanese. The air branch of the Self-Defense Forces wears stars with other stuff, but not like these uniforms:


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Psylocke's eyes in Kwannon's body should be violet, not blue.
<-------------------------------->
"STRANGE TALES INDEED."

TITLE: Strange Tales V5 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Paul Hornschemeier (writer/full author, though I'm categorizing this as a writing dissection).

DISSECTION: Since when does Nightcrawler "cast a gateway" in front of him to jump through in his teleporting? Has Hornschemeier ever read or at least LOOKED at a comic book with Nightcrawler in it?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So this all brings us to a 6.5 Bazzars average on forty-seven dissections. Good. Now, the Cover Of The Week is nothing special, but the best on a bunch of regular covers:


Greek Street is a fun, if not particularly special book to read. Not for kids, though. Moments Of The Week? Certainly! First up, another Mage: The Ascension parallel:


Okay, so you're not much of a gamer? No more roleplaying stuff for today. We do have some Hercules:


Yes, THAT Hercules. Parker Luck, anyone? No? More Hercules? Sure!


How much booze does Herc have to drink to get his eyes red? Dunno, but I lied about the roleplaying stuff:


I love the Black Hands, and Gordo is one of my favorite characters from all the KODTverse. Yeah, this is from an old issue, but I'm catching up on my Knights. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #138.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Welcome, readers, to the universe forming event known as the Big Bang... or as it's called in the DC Universe, the Big BIFF! BAM! POW! Much punchier." Narrator, Ambush Bug: Year None #7 (of 6).

Welcome to the column for books released on 10/28; last week of October, and the year comes to an end very soon. Wow, am I a master of stating the obvious, or what? Last week's DT! was cracked by Donald313 (one more badge and you make Lieutenant): Barry Allen's Flash mask never hid his eyes.

What were The Dissector's Picks Of The Week? I'll start by saying that Hulk #16 was the worst book of the week, that book sucks, and I should drop it. Best Book Of The Week? It was very hard to choose... New Mutants #6 was excellent; writer Zeb Wells understands the characters, and penciller Diogenes Neves uses his own style, but incorporates elements from the original NM book; such as character body language, or Professor X's eyebrows (after Bill Sienkiewicz). Superman: Secret Origin #2 was fangasmic, with the Legion, but it wasn't THAT good outside of that.

Unknown Soldier is a book that's consistently good; a good script, nice art, and good real world information articles about the conflict the book covers. This issue in particular had the added bonus of art by Patrice Masioni Makamba (aka Pat Masioni), a Congolese artist now living in France. I believe it's the first comic by an African artist that I've ever seen. Masioni brings not only an understanding of the African continent and its conflicts (even if he's not from the same place that the book happens in), but an interesting aesthetic, a mix of European and African art that's very appealing. I'm going to see if I can track down some of the work he's done in Europe and Africa to read.

But... none of those was the Book Of The Week. Too many to share the spot, even... so I had to go for another book: Spin Angels #3. As I've mentioned before it's an interesting tale about Catholic Church agents facing Templars and recovering early Christian relics to maintain the theological supremacy of the Church. The plot and script by Jean-Luc Sala are very good, well paced, engaging; and the art by Pierre-Mony Chan is something else. Like I also said before, the art is a good blend of European comic book art (ligne claire, in particular) and manga styling; along with a dash of American comics... not as good a blend as Gipsy, as sometimes the manga elements overpower the other elements, and it distracts a bit from the story. For example:


That has got to be the most annoying manga trick ever; particularly when the characters are using each other's name in the dialogues, and when the rest of the page can look something like this:


See what I mean? Well, go read it if you like Indiana Jones-esque stories; with a dash of The Da Vinci Code (or so I assume, since I've never read the book or watched the movie).

The Rundown for his week is the following: Arkham Reborn (Bruce Wayne's eyes are colored brown... even if he's actually Hush), Batman (Batman's costume is colored and drawn incorrectly), Blackest Night (Scarecrow and Ray Palmer's eyes are colored incorrectly), Dark Avengers: Ares (Ares and Norman's eyes are colored wrong), Green Lantern V4 (Hal's badge is wrong... just once), Incredible Hercules (accented letter), Justice Society of America V3 (Power Girl's hairdo keeps changing), Ms. Marvel V2 (again, Moonstone cannot transmute matter any longer), New Avengers (wrong Night Nurse, again!), Northlanders (a name is spelled wrong once), Nova V4 (odd spelling for words), Ultimate Comics Armor Wars (Sabra's head is mounted on a wall; but her last name is spelled "Bat-Serpah", when it's "Bat-Seraph"... yes, Ultimate characters might have different names, and she even looks different... but this smells like a mistake), World's Finest V3 (Christopher "Lor Zod" Kent did not just now come to see that his father (General Zod) is evil... he was tortured by him from birth...), X Necrosha (Selene and Jetstream's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Factor V3 (Guido, for some reason, is a black man), X-Force V3 (Magik's eyes should be blue, not brown). And now, dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"GOOBLY EYES."

TITLE: Dark Reign - The List: Punisher (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Dean White (colorist).

DISSECTION: I no longer devote time to Norman Osborn's eye color, or space, it usually goes into the Rundown... but in this book he has green eyes on page four, then brown eyes on page six; then green and brown eyes on page seven... I mean, I can accept that his eye color changes to green (from his correct blue one) when he starts to lose control (because of the goblin serum)... but he's calm most of this book, and in most books his eyes get colored green.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Daken has red glowing eyes at one point..
<-------------------------------->
"SISQÓ."

TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Ink (DC).

ISSUE: 06 of 06.

CULPRIT: Eric Wallace (writer).

DISSECTION: A character that looks EXACTLY as Avery Brooks when he played Benjamin Sisko in Deep Space Nine gets called on the fact... but Wallace wrote "Sisco".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IS YOGA SUPPOSED TO BE THIS DIFFICULT?"

TITLE: Marvel Divas (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (writer) and/or Tonci Zonjic (artist).

DISSECTION: Danny Rand teaches a Zen yoga class for superheroines, and Crystal, Tigra, She-Hulk and Storm are there... their presence their ranges from the unlikely (Storm is kind of busy with the X-Men and Wakanda, She-Hulk is M.I.A.), the highly unlikely (Tigra is a fugitive, no two ways around it), to the damn right impossible (Crystal is in Kree space). The status of Jericho Drum as Sorcerer Supreme (Doctor Voodoo now) places this within current continuity, thus making the above heroines taking the class difficult or impossible.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Doctor Voodoo gets blue eyes, and the heights of Pulsar, Firestar, Black Cat, and Hellcat are all mixed up and keep changing throughout the issue.
<-------------------------------->
"WRONG MODEL."

TITLE: Models, Inc. (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Paul Tobin (writer).

DISSECTION: The "crashin' fashion" fake blog at the end of the book talks about the Night Nurse, and uses art from New Avengers... and you guessed it, it also identifies this nurse as Linda Carter, when she's Christine Palmer.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, there's a small grammatical error in the zombie backup story.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION MACHINE!"

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Jay David Ramos & Michael Bartolo (colorists).

DISSECTION: Come on, this one is very simple:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Norman's eyes. And please, bring Leonardo Manco back to this book...
<-------------------------------->
"NEW NEW MUTANTS."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Moose Baumann & Sotocolor's Adam Street (colorists).

DISSECTION: I'm betting it was Moose.... Now, the New Mutants are characters with over 20 years of existence, and an integral part of mutant mythos at Marvel. But in this book, Cannonball gets red hair instead of his blond hair; and Wolfsbane gets a more jarring white to her normally red hair.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each. Also, Wolverine's eyes are colored brown instead of blue, and Kitty Pryde gets blue eyes instead of her hazel ones. There's also an accented letter that's too small. At least "Zigfried" Trask gets renamed "Sigrid" (a female name)... but only in the intro text; not the book itself, so I'm afraid Claremont will keep calling her "Zigfried".
<-------------------------------->
That's another end of a column, with a 6.4 Bazzars average in thirty-six dissections. Cover Of The Week was this pretty cover by Guillem March for Gotham City Sirens #5:


I like me some cheesecake... Moments Of The Week! Superboy (albeit with an old lady's face) coins the Legion of Super-Heroes battle cry:


Nice! Then, if all the dead with significance to superheroes are rising...


Holy crap! Then, speaking of dead people... Punisher gets killed by Daken in "Dark Reign - The List: Punisher", so what happens next?


Eww.... BAD idea... Speaking of the Punisher, the Hood might have resurrected his family, and what does Frank do?


Shit Frank, you're one sad, sick puppy... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #137.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I hate airports. Prisons to tempt people who can't afford it to buy junk they don't need. Air-conditioned temples of greed and emptiness. As soon as I'm in duty-free I'm going to buy five hundred cigarettes and several brands of whisky." John Constantine, Hellblazer #260.

Welcome to the column for comics released on 10/21; which is on time, again! Nobody did spot the DT!; and it was one of my pet peeves: John Stewart's costume; the artist and colorist gave him gloves instead of bracers.

Would you like to know what The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are? Well, Best Book was The Invincible Iron Man #19; nothing spectacular, but a solid read. Ironclad. Worst Book Of The Week was Sugarshock, a lackluster one-shot by Josh Whedon and Fábio Moon; originally serialized on Dark Horse's MySpace. Whedon's script is a pile of nonsense trying to be wacky and funny, attempting to be underground (it's even labeled "Dark Horse Comix"), and failing miserably. Moon's art is interesting; but not enough to save the atrocious script.

Oh; before I forget... my good friend Jeremy Rizza (former author of the BEST comic book fashion blog out there, Blockade Boy, seriously, even after he closed it, it's still a great read) has honored me by giving me a guest spot as a character in his webstrip, Viking Zombie Boyfriend; in his Halloween strip. Thank you very much, Jeremy!!!

Here's The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (is it Michele or Michelle Gonzales? I'm still waiting for an answer on that, but since she was "Michelle" in her first appearance, I'll consider "Michele" wrong; also she has been portrayed with slightly dark skin, stereotypically Hispanic, and now she's shown as white as MJ?), Batman: Streets Of Gotham (Batman's gauntlet is wrong), Batman: Unseen (again the horribly gigantic ears and cape), Blackest Night: Superman (inker Ruy José is credited as Jose'; that is, with an apostrophe instead of an accent), Cowboy Ninja Viking (Spanish mistake, accented letters), Dark Reign - The List: Secret Warriors (Norman's eyes, H.A.M.M.E.R. uniform color), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Banner's eye color), The Invincible Iron Man V2 (Norman's eyes are brown, then correctly blue), Skrull Kill Krew (Norman's eyes), and Thunderbolts (Norman's eyes... and Captain America's). Dissections!
<-------------------------------->
"THE BRAVE AND THE BALD."

TITLE: The Brave And The Bold V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (artist).

DISSECTION: This is Flash, Barry Allen, but something's wrong:


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPOOKY!"

TITLE: DC Universe Halloween Special '09 (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Matt Triano (artist, Red Robin story).

DISSECTION: Matt; Bruce Wayne's grave is not marked; and the graves you drew for his parents look nothing like they should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars for Bruce's grave. There are also a lot of other mistakes: Guy Gardner's badge, boots and eyes; Soranik Natu's badge, Salakk's... well, himself; Robin's emblem; and Spanish language dissections.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTI"ON.

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 136.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I credited Bill Sienkiewicz as doing "(finishes(". Badge to Snakebyte for spotting this; that's your fiftieth badge; thanks for being a loyal reader.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"LAW AND DISORDER."

TITLE: Power Girl V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti (writers).

DISSECTION: An alien (even one that looks human) causes the death of a policeman (however accidentally) and she's not held for questioning? Bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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Short column; and it had an average of only 4.7 Bazzars in a total of thirty-nine dissections. Let's get this show over; starting with the Cover Of The Week:


Nothing too flashy, but I like Soviet/Russian iconography, and Francesco Mattina pulled off a nice little piece here. Now, Moments Of The Week; just two, and related, even if they're from different books and universes. First up, from Air #14:


If you're familiar with the roleplaying game Mage: The Ascension, you know why I liked this. Then, something that's also related with Mage, but that's nice on its own:


SCIENTIST SUPREME!!! Very nice, and also a lot more explicit, in its words, than the previous one. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!