The Dissector #199.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

05-04 "Bah! I can travel in both time and relative dimensions in space!" Doctor Dinosaur, Atomic Robo & Others Free Comic Book Day 2011.

05-11 "This is nothing but bullshit! You expect us to believe that he can't get into this school because he hasn't passed English???? That's the worst excuse I've heard in my entire fucking life. What is it? You didn't like his psych test because this moron wrote all that crap about death and Jim Morrison's grave?" La Ranita, Ranitas: Catarsis & Rock N Roll.

05-18 "Tony said he hated the Norse god speech pattern I'd developed and promised to give ten million dollars to charity if I spoke like a normal person again." Thor, Ultimate Avengers Vs. New Ultimates #4.

05-25 "Y'know, there are times I wish Uncle Ben had told me that with great power comes pie..." Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man V1 #662.

And welcome to a new column, this time for the month of May. Last column's DT! was cracked by Captain JohnnyDoe, who noticed that Martian Manhunter is too tall on that cover. Yes, he's a shapeshifter, but still... Let's go to the Picks of the Month:

Cover Of The Week for 05/04 was Chip 'N' Dale Rescue Rangers #6, by James Silvani and Jake Miller; even if the title characters are not in the cover, the other two stars are, and it's the perfect image of what a Rescue Rangers' adventure should be. Best Book for that week was Atomic Robo And The Deadly Art Of Science #5; a perfect ending for a, as usual, great mini from the Robo team. Worst Book was JSA All-Stars #18. Blocky, ugly art that lacks soul, and a bland plot. It's not bad that this book is ending soon. Best Book Of The Week for 05/11 is Black Panther: The Man Without Fear #518, I can't stress enough how fun, fast-paced, yet filled with character moments this book by David Liss and Francesco Francavilla is. Worst Book for 05/11 is Justice League Of America V2 #57. It's no secret I've found James Robinson's JLA run boring, and Brett Booth's art, while good, is not enough to save this book. Cover for that week is Patrick Zircher's alternate FF #3 cover with (part of) Wolverine's graphic evolution.

Cover for 05/18 is Alex Ross's cover for Rocketeer Adventures #1... I wouldn't mind having that painting. Best Book of that week was Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 #13. Paul Levitz never fails to deliver, and while I'd prefer that all art was Yildiray Cinar, Jonathan Glapion is not bad as his co-artist. Don't look for groundbreaking comic book storytelling, though, this is just a straight up future superhero romp. Worst Book was X-Men Giant-Size #1... a pointless fight, and a *yawn* ultra-powerful enemy that seeks to eradicate mutants, completely pulled out of nowhere, complete with a flashback to some of Cyclops' repressed memories from when the original five were Xavier's only X-Men. Best Book for 05/25 was issue #2 of The Strange Case of Mr. Hyde. It's a fresh take on the old tale, intertwining it with Jack The Ripper's, newcomer writer Cole Haddon (who comes from the screenwriting and movie journalism fields) spins an entertaining story that sounds at the same time fresh, modern, and Victorian as well. M.S. Corley (who I hadn't heard of before either) delivers great art that fits the story perfectly, enhanced by Jim Campbell's colors; and the whole thing is embellished by Richard Starking & Comicraft's lettering. Is it mind-blowing? No, I wouldn't say so. But it's so neat, so well done, that you can't help but say "man, this is a good comic book". Give it to people who don't usually read comics. Worst Book was Action Comics #901. One of the most boring Super Team Vs. Doomsdays fights I've ever red, Paul Cornell usually writes better things. Plus, why should I care about this book's numbering and history, if they're rewinding everything soon? Meh. Cover for this week is this sweet 70s movie poster style painting by Clayton Crain from Green Lantern V4 #66.

Let's get to those dissections...
<-------------------------------->
"ÖBAMA."

TITLE: Action Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 901.

CULPRIT: Jesus Merino (artist) & Paul Cornell (writer).

DISSECTION: Current DCU president (shown mostly in Freedom Fighters) is not Obama, nor does he even look like him (he's actually white).

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Plus, it's actually un-DC to have a real-life president (although they've done it before, occasionally).
<-------------------------------->
"THE DYSSECTOR."

TITLE: The Dissector (Clockwork Chap).

ISSUE: 198.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: My apologies to HDSC member Sidney, whose name I spelled as "Sydney" last column. Badge for him.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BACK TO THE LEAGUE."

TITLE: JLA V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 58.

CULPRIT: Mike Miller (penciller).

DISSECTION: Check this one, from 2001:


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TIME TWIST."

TITLE: Knights Of The Dinner Table: Black Hands 2011 Special (Kenzer & Co.).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Jolly Blackburn (writer).

DISSECTION: Weird Pete, Patty, B.A., and Earl are all talking about when Nitro had recently returned from the Marines, fifteen years ago, and Earl says he remembers him as being terrible back then. Only problem is, Earl was introduced in the strip as a new character, transferring from another college to the local university only a few years ago. This doesn't jive even with a fluid timescale (like the one this comic uses), because Earl was specifically introduced as a new guy in town.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"~^?"

TITLE: Namor: The First Mutant (Marvel)

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Joe Caramagna (letterer)

DISSECTION: Penciller Sergio Ariño gets his name wrong, with a "^" instead of the "~" that the "ñ" should have... and it's halfway over the A and the R...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Double.
<-------------------------------->
"IF I HAD A HAMMER."

TITLE: The New Avengers V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 12.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis.

DISSECTION: Given how public it was during Norman Osborn's "Dark Reign", there's absolutely no way anyone, much less a cop, would not know what H.A.M.M.E.R. is or was.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GRILS, GRILS, GRILS."

TITLE: Suicide Girls (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 & 02.

CULPRIT: Unidentified production designer.

DISSECTION: One of the ads at the end says "suiciegirls". I know producing this complete marketing vehicle must sap your enthusiasm, but you can at least write the brand name right, no?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"TA-NO-TANTU."

TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 35.

CULPRIT: Fabrizio Fiorentino (penciller).

DISSECTION: Vixen's powers come from her Tantu totem necklace. So you kind of have to draw it on her, not just a random animal fang necklace.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LET'S JUST SKIP A FEW STEPS IN EVOLUTON."

TITLE: X-Men Giant-Size (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Christopher Yost (penciller) and Paco Medina (penciller).

DISSECTION: "For Homo sapien to live... Australopithecus sediba had to die.", that phrase is full of fail, because Australopithecus weren't even proto-humans, Australopithecine were bipedal and dentally similar to humans, but with a brain size not much larger than modern apes, lacking the encephalization characteristics of the genus Homo. The date is wrong, too, since it says 2.5 million years ago, and A. sediba lived between 1.95 and 1.78 million years ago.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for using the Australopithecine instead of one of the archaic Homo sapiens (such as Homo heidelbergensis, Homo rhodesiensis, or Homo neanderthalensis), 7 for the wrong date.
<-------------------------------->
May, then, has an average of 8.2 Bazzars in ten dissections. Pretty high, but then again, I'm only keeping the most outrageous dissections these days. Let's go with the Moments Of The Month. First, from 05/04's issue of Atomic Robo, Tesla has a real "war of the currents" with Edison:


If you know me, you know this is fan service for me. Thank you, Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegener! Next, more from the same issue:


The real reason behind alternating current! More Atomic Robo, from the 2011 Free Comic Book Day Special, we learn how Dr. Dinosaur gets his guns:


Moving on to the next week, what's a good idea to have Batman everywhere?


Well, it's certainly NOT bat-robots, Bruce! Of course, what can we expect from...


... an internet troll? Now, from a Uruguayan comic, Ranitas: Catarsis & Rock N Roll, the stuff we do as drunken teenagers:


I didn't do THAT exactly, and I was a pretty nerdy guy who went out dancing and drinking very little... but I did a few stupid things while drunk, so I smile at this from a "yeah, I know" viewpoint. Week of 05/18 brought me some Quislet action over in LSH:


And it's almost as if the book had been written for me:


Good one. Now, more fan service, even if I don't like this artist, is having Lockheed meet up with Kitty Pryde in Astonishing X-Men:


That didn't go to well... or did it?


Guns! Big guns! You know who knows his place in the universe? Paladin:


He keeps it real. More Uruguayan stuff, from Orange Shaft, you shouldn't try to mug the wrong guy:


Believe me, this one of the tamest scenes in the whole book. You should see what Orange Shaft does to a guy's testicles with an arrow... Now, from 05/25, what do Donald's famous nephews do when they're not out adventuring?


They adventure some more! And to finish the column, John Stewart goes Death Star:


Again. Man, poor Mogo. I mean, we know he doesn't socialize, but that's no reason to do that to him That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #189.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Volstagg the Magnified will not suffer the claws nor yellow fangs nor crude weapons of filthy trolls! No numbers are great enough to overthrow me! Am i not the acknowledged paragon of martial virtue? Am I not the most celebrated paladin of the realm eternal? Do you know why the vast river Vaskrundr flows past the South face of Vindrbjarg Mountain in far Alfheim? Because Volstagg got tired of seeing it flow past the North face of Vindrbjarg Mountain! I barked but once and it obeyed me with fear and trembling! Now, doesn't that frost your breeches?" Volstagg The Voluminous, while slaying trolls, Warriors Three #2.

That's some quote. Get the full action in the Moments Of The Week. Let's get started, then... this is a column for books published on 12/02; as usual, there might be a few stragglers. Last week's DT! was cracked by JhonnyDoe (badge for him)... it was obviously that Hobgoblin is a very well known villain in the Marvel universe; so there's no way nobody recognized him or got a hit in metahuman databases. On another not, I need to retract from the dissections I made last week (in The Rundown) on X-Men: Phoenix Force Handbook. Turns out the character I thought had been wrongly named "Bran Braddock" was actually named "Bran", and that when I saw "Corps", instead of "Captain Britain Corps", that was right, because both names are common; since not all members are codenamed Captain Britain, despite most being Brian Braddock's alternate versions, or their replacements.

Here are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was Captain America: Patriot #4. Just a great end to a very good mini... that's all. Congrats to Karl Kesel, Mitch Breitweiser, Bettie Breitweiser, and all the rest of the team. Worst Book Of The Week was almost Action Comics Annual #13... the whole retcon of Lex Luthor getting where he got because he got Apokolips tech and worked for Darkseid as a young man; or studying under Ra's al Ghul, dying and getting raised in a Lazarus Pit... this is almost as bad as that retcon a few years back where Thomas Wayne visits Krypton before its destruction, and all of Wayne Enterprises success (or at least, its resurgence since it apparently was at a low point never mentioned before) comes from Thomas Wayne (who was a medical doctor) single-handledly reverses-engineering Kryptonian technology. But no, this book at least was readable, and it had good art... two things not shared by the actual Worst Book Of The Week, JSA All-Stars #13. Not only it focuses on the less interesting members of the JSA (and is one of the most shameless spin-offs ever); but while it tells a Cyclone story, it shows the rest of the team on some space mission... but it looks like there's a lot of pages missing; as the space mission progresses from battling some sort of sandworm into being captured by aliens with no explanation how it happens... not even "meanwhile, in space" note or something like that. To boot, the art looks like this, and Howard Porter inches closely to an Autopsy Award that features bloody stumps and blunt crayolas... Oh, and there's the Cover Of The Week, by Matthew Clark and Guy Major, from Doom Patrol #17... nice, isn't it? Of course, roadkill would also look nice next to Porter's art in All-Stars, but this is actually a nice cover.

The Rundown: Chaos War: God Squad (Amadeus Cho's eyes shouldn't be blue), Doom Patrol V5 (Rita Farr's eyes shouldn't be green), Generation Hope (Wolverine's eyes are brown first, then blue), Warriors Three (an accented letter is smaller than it should be, but all others are the right size, Volstagg's eyes are first brown, then the correct blue, and Reed Richards' eyes should be brown), Women Of Marvel (Valeria and Franklin Richards should not look the same age, Reed Richard's eyes should be brown, Shanna's story shouldn't be set in 1956, and she shouldn't have superstrength).
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S SO INVISIBLE, WE DON'T NOTICE WHICH OF THE TWO HE IS HALF OF THE TIME."

TITLE: Adventure Comics V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 520.

CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).

DISSECTION: Roy, one of my loyal readers, and member of the HDSC, noticed that in October's issue, Levitz labels (in the small info boxes) Invisible Kid as Jacques Foccart, the second Invisible Kid; when this is obviously the first one, Lyle Norg (due to this being a story set in the Legion's beginnings, and the fact that Norg was white and Foccart is black).

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Badge for Lieutenant Roy.
<-------------------------------->
"WHITE STAR."

TITLE: Adventure Comics V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 521.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Dawnstar is descended from Native Americans... she is not fair-skinned like Caucasians, and she does not have blue eyes.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Twice. Get a fucking grip on the characters you are working on. Also, her powers are listed just as "long-range tracking", when she can fly and survive in space on her own. Mon-El's powers are also incomplete.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION IN MARS."

TITLE: Brightest Day (DC).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Peter J. Tomasi (writers).

DISSECTION: This should be an easy one. Check out (old) Batman talking about getting old and his JLA friends:


DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CHAOS ATE MY CREDITS."

TITLE: Chaos War: Alpha Flight (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Mark Paniccia (editor).

DISSECTION: Yeah.... THERE ARE NO DETAILED CREDITS IN THE WHOLE ISSUE!!! Just last names of writer, penciller, inker, and colorist on the cover... Tom Brevoort says it was a goof-up at Mark Panniccia's office; and since I don't know wich assistant editor, associated editor, or production assistant was involved, I blame solely Paniccia.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Aurora is called "Jean-Marie" instead of "Jeanne-Marie".
<-------------------------------->
"NOTHING THE DISSECTO."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 188.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I should have Donald313 read my columns before I post them. I missed a word in one dissection and a letter in a Moment. Two badges for him.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars for the word, 1 for the letter.
<-------------------------------->
"JSA NO-STARS."

TITLE: JSA All-Stars (DC).

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).

DISSECTION: As mentioned before, the outer space mission team is horribly told, not just badly written, but downright missing pages.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Not to mention several art and coloring mistakes, including Cyclone's costume.
<-------------------------------->
Only 7.1 Bazzars in twenty-six dissections, higher than usual, but lower than I thought with all those tens. Now, Moments Of The Week. First up, Quislet is passed up for a Green Lantern ring:


Come on, stupid Dyogene doesn't even acknowledge Quislet? Or maybe Levitz knows that if he makes Quislet a GL, I'll die of fanboyness... Who gets the ring?


Mon-El, proving that he can never run out of horrible costumes... White boots, Mon? And over at Buffy, who buys the farm?


Giles! I guess it's not going to be permanent, but still... shocking scene... if only Dark Horse had better artists working this book. Over at another licensed property, how do you ease your fears?


Well, if you're Monterey Jack, this way! And as a finale, the fight scene from where this week's quote came from:


Hah! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #173.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"I am the TERROR that flaps in the night! I am the classic rock act that NEVER retires! I AM DARKWING DUCK! And I... am talking to myself." Darkwing Duck, Darkwing Duck #2.

I'm still behind, not only on columns, but in my reading. These are the books published on 07/21 (mostly, there are one or two older books), and I haven't even finished reading the ones for last week... Not directly related with my column, you can visit my Formspring account, and ask me anything you'd like... as long as you keep it respectful.

Last week's DT! was cracked by Sidney, who earns a badge by correctly pointed out that, in traditional LSH continuity (and from what I've seen, it's been kept mostly the same), Brainiac 5 did not come to Earth to attend Science Police Academy; Saturn Girl did... so the speech balloon is pointing at the wrong character. Best Book Of The Week was Darkwing Duck #2... he finally puts on the costume, and both the script and art are a perfect evocation of the TV show. Worst Book Of The Week? Well, I didn't actually find any book really bad... but Zatanna #3 bored me. I'm dropping that book, I'm only interested in the character visually; and the art is not doing the character justice, while the plot is not very interesting; it's rather generic.

The Rundown: The Avengers V4 (inconsistent lettering in the credits, Tony Stark's eyes should be blue, his armor is not exactly as it currently is, and a sentence is missing a question mark), Brightest Day (Atlanteans without calf fins, "nearby to", Blackest Night couldn't have been "a few months back"), Ghostbusters: Con-Volution ("transfigured" is not "transfixed"), New Avengers V2 (inconsistent credit lettering, Dr. Strange's eyes are colored incorrectly), Superman/Batman (gee Supes, I wonder who built that rocket that sports A GIGANTIC PURPLE AND GREEN "L" LOGO ON IT?!?!??! And Luthor destroys ONE microchip you brought as evidence, and you complain that you have no more evidence... when you have an entire rocket and satellite?), Time Masters: Vanishing Point (Hal Jordan's badge is the wrong shape, and the setting on the uniform is wrong too, Rip Hunter's eyes and hair are miscolored, and there's an accented letter smaller than it should be).
<-------------------------------->
"TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE."

TITLE: Action Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 890.

CULPRIT: Pete Woods (penciller).

DISSECTION: Ensign Jordan of the HDSC brought my attention to the fact that when Lex Luthor is dining with his Lois Lane android (what a stupid idea on the writer's part, by the way), the plates on the table disappear and reappear between pages. Jordan, have a badge.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HYPERTIME!"

TITLE: DC Universe: Legacies (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 10.

CULPRIT: Len Wein (writer).

DISSECTION: Is this an Elseworld? Because if it is, just say so. There's no way the lead character can be a teenager when the original JSA was active (1940s) and then in his 30s or even less when Superman first appears.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"ELEMENTAL POWERS, MAGIC, AND STUFF."

TITLE: Justice Society of America (DC)

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: The Starheart is driving elemental and magically powered heroes crazy, right? First, I don't get how it's affecting Supergirl and Power Girl, but I don't want to go there. But am I really supposed to believe that Donna Troy and Jesse Quick are among those who have "the least chance of being affected?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Alcatraz Island - and the inexistent island where Titans Tower is located- cannot be seen from the Golden Gate Bridge at that angle... and if it's the Bay Bridge, it doesn't look that way.
<-------------------------------->
"BIZARRO WRITING."

TITLE: Supergirl V6 (DC).

ISSUE: 54.

CULPRIT: Sterling Gates (writer).

DISSECTION: Bizarros have the opposite powers of Kryptonians? What? So Bizarro Superman is superweak? No, Bizarros might have some weird powers, but that's not how they are defined. Plus, why would the opposite of seeing through things (x-ray vision) be making things completely solid?

Suspension of disbelief is not a license for bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECTION, LIKE LIGHTNING."

TITLE: Thunderbolts (Marvel).

ISSUE: 146.

CULPRIT: Jeff Parker (writer).

DISSECTION: If you dissect this, you get a few years of your prison sentence:


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. There are also another couple of small writing dissections.
<-------------------------------->
"ERRORMY COX."

TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 207.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

DISSECTION: Come on, Jeromy! Is this a joke, or what? First, M's eyes should not be blue, but that's an honest mistake. But then you have Shatterstar's eyes shift between green and blue (the right color), and then Rictor's eyes between blue and brown (right color)? Are you even paying attention to your job? Yes, I know, eye color is a minor detail... but not keeping it consistent between CONSECUTIVE PAGES OF THE SAME ISSUE you give the impression that you just don't give a fuck.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for the changing eyes, 6 for M's mistake.
<-------------------------------->
So, that's a 6.1 Bazzar in twenty-nine dissections. Cover Of The Week is a lovely piece by Dave Wilkins for the New Mutants:


Just a nice cover, and it also reminded me a tad of Sienkiewicz's covers for the original New Mutants book; but a lot more "clean"; not that either way is better. Now, Moments Of The Week. The first one is actually three separate Spider-Man moments from Avengers #3, in a little sequence I like to call "gotta love Spidey":


Say what you want about Bendis, or Romita Jr., they both know how to do a good Spider-Man. Next, Egyptian cat goddesses and Amadeus Cho... it can only go one way:


LOLSPEAK!!! Hellblazer is a fun book, and when written (as it's usually been, and as it MUST be) by Brits, it has those unequivocally British humor moments interspersed with all the weird, dark crap:


Right out of The Mighty Boosh, or Red Dwarf.... Now, back to Marvel, Ultimate Tony Stark knows what he needs to save the world:


Ah, the Ultimate Universe... where we can still make drunken Iron Man jokes! And as a finale, more Spidey:


I absolutely love it when writers remember Peter Parker has mad science skillz. Fred Van Lente (who wrote the story that scene is from) not only remembers that, but also relies on old Spidey continuity... while Dan Slott, new sole writer for the upcoming biweekly ASM, is a good writer, I fear he leans too much to the comedy side (at least when it comes to Spider-Man). Van Lente has a very good pen for humor, but also balances it perfectly with general narrative skills, and the aforementioned Spidey qualities. He would have been my choice for ASM's sole writer. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #168.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"(...) there are promises one makes to oneself, having lived through a holocaust. I'm afraid these promises preclude me from watching the extermination of my people in a reclining position. See to your patients, Dr. McCoy. I will see to our enemies." Max Eisenhardt, aka Magneto, New Mutants V3 #14.

Now, this was a weird week... very few dissections... a short rundown... and no "Worst Book", but a "Less Good Book"... Weird indeed. Emerre correctly noticed in last week's DT! that The Thing should have hurt his knuckles, not his fingers. The way it was drawn, it looks like he was backhand pimp-slapping the force field instead of punching it. Badge for you, Emerre, and please accept the rank of Lieutenant in the HDSC!

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was The Boys #43, its quality always constant. Worst Book Of The Week? None, really. Even stuff like Heralds (unremarkable) or Joker's Asylum II: Harley Quinn (predictable, niche-pandering) weren't bad... so I had to choose Ultimate X #3, for two reasons: 1) the story wasn't enough for a whole issue, it was a waste of pages, and 2) Art Adam's work wasn't as hot as usual.

The World's Shortest Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Black Cat (accented letters), Atlas (blue eyes on Jimmy Woo?), New Mutants V3 (Beast's eyes are colored wrong), R.E.B.E.L.S (small ñ), X-Factor Forever (Brazil/Argentina? One, the other, or both?).
<-------------------------------->
"SALTIEST DAY."

TITLE: Brightest Day (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 26.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Peter J. Tomasi (writers).

DISSECTION: Ronnie Raymond dreams of Gehenna, Jason Rusch's girlfriend, courtesy of Jason, and wakes up covered in salt, the room filled with salt grains... but how does his friend, who enters the room to find that scene, knows it's salt, and not coke, dandruff, or talc?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Hawkman's eyes and hair continue to be colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"HURRAH WIDE KID."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 167.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I spelled Rawhide Kid's name was "Rahwide", and JohnnyDoe noticed that, apart from two other small errors on my part.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Three badges for JD, and he makes the rank of Commander!
<-------------------------------->
"YO DT!"

TITLE: G.I. Joe (IDW).

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: S.L. Gallant (penciller).

DISSECTION: Now, take a look at this panel:


What's odd?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There's also a horribly drawn Union Jack.
<-------------------------------->
"WEB OF CONTINUITY."

TITLE: Web Of Spider-Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Tom Brennan (editor).

DISSECTION: The "Bugle Girl" newsbytes mention H.A.M.M.E.R. and its agents as if it was still an active and lawful organization... yet Spider-Man is working out of Avengers Tower.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WEB OF LIES."

TITLE: Web Of Spider-Man V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 09.

CULPRIT: Fred Van Lente (writer, The Extremist).

DISSECTION: The villain's origin story centers on a woman trying to convince Professor Xavier that her child is a mutant, and that he must enroll him in his school. This is said to happen "many years ago", back when Cyclops was a teenager (or at least a very young adult, as he's very slim and wearing a bowtie)... but the status of Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters as a school for mutants was, and has been for most of its existence, a complete secret.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. And I noticed something else while reviewing this entry... The front gate plate of the school reads incorrectly "Xavier Institute For Higher Learning", a name the school wouldn't sport for many years.
<-------------------------------->
That short column gives us a 6.5 Bazzars average, in the shockingly low amount of seventeen dissections. Weird week, no doubt about that... Now, the Cover Of The Week... what can I say other than... CHEESECAKE!!!


Thank you, J. Scott Campbell. The Moments Of The Week start with the birth of a Legion Of Super-Heroes villain:


From dead star, to disco star! Then, another star is not dead...


It's time to get dangerous!!! Great return for Darkwing Duck, the first issue of the book was just like watching the TV show. Who else returns?


HULK!!! And he's pissed... even his veins are hulking out! Then, another strongman gets strong-armed:


That's gotta hurt... But when the going gets tough, Cyclops asks Xavier to do something very, very sensible:


Yes, weaponize Legion, his own kid, and one of the most insane and dangerous mutants ever! And speaking of dangerous mutants...


Be scared, enemies of mutantkind... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!