RETRO NITPICKING:
The Nitpicker #03.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
NOTE FROM THE PRESENT: You’ve read it above, this is a Retro Nitpicking, meaning that I’m treating you to one of my older columns, #3, this week because I won’t be able to write my usual column (but worry not, next week’s will be double). This here column is from the last week of November, 2005 (wow, the Nitpicker nears it’s second birthday!), and was originally published in the CBEM (where this column was born), in its 551st issue. Enjoy it, and never mind the looser standards I held myself in earlier days, and don’t bother pointing out my own spelling mistakes and such.
Hey readers, welcome to this week's Nitpicker! I've been catching up with some titles, for example, I started reading Black Panther (which is very good). So, incidentally, it's been mostly Marvel stuff... so this is a three quarters Marvel column... it'll happen from time to time that I read more from one company than another, or that I find more nits in one publisher's output than in the others.
It's not the wee hours of the morning this time, since I started writing my column yesterday, and now I'm just adding in this intro and the other stuff.. That's called getting the hang of writing on a deadline. Well then, I'll let you go on to the nits:
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"HOPEFULLY, THEY'LL NEVER NOTICE..."
TITLE: X-Men.
ISSUE: 177.
CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer)
NIT-TO-PICK: No flavor text here, just straight to the nit: on page 2 Polaris reveals (in her thought balloons) that she's hiding the fact that she's lost her powers, like most of the mutants on the regular Marvel U. Riiiight... and nobody noticed yet? They did not use Cerebra to check who still has powers and who does? As we saw in other X-titles, they did. Can she hide her thoughts from Emma Frost, one of the most powerful telepaths in the world? Failing all that, did they not do a bloodwork on each and every single mutant in the mansion to gather information about what's happening?
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, nothing that affects the story greatly, but a cheap plot trick.
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"HEY, I WAS JUST CAMPING NEARBY AND DECIDED TO SEE HOW THE SENTINELS ARE DOING..."
TITLE: X-Men.
ISSUE: 177.
CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer) or Salvador Larroca (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 22, Valerie Cooper is leading, or at least forming part of a military team that supports the sentinels that have invaded Xavier's. My problem? The team is in full assault gear, helmets, armor, etc... and Val is wearing sunglasses, a tanktop and a backpack... what is she, hiking?
NIT-O-METER: A measly 1 Bazzars, this is only strange, not an error per se. It just seems stupid, that is.
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"HEY SHIFT, IS THAT A MASK, OR YOUR REAL FACE?"
TITLE: Supergirl V5.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Jeph Loeb (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: In page 10, Supergirl thinks about the Outsiders "... they won't take off their masks or tell me their real names?". Of all the Outsiders, only Nightwing hides his face behind a mask; and if you've had access to Superman's database in the Fortress of Solitude (as Kara most likely has), you know who he actually is. The rest of the Outsiders don't wear masks or take great efforts to hide their secrets identities, if they have one. Grace doesn't, Shift doesn't, Arsenal doesn't wear a mask, neither does Thunder and Supergirl knows who her father is, and Black Lightnings identity is public, as far as I remember.
NIT-O-METER: Just 2 Bazzars, it might be a figure of speech.
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"PARDON ME, MY UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR IS BROKEN."
TITLE: Supergirl V5.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Jeph Loeb (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: The dark side of Supergirl starts speaking kryptonese, and Lex can't understand it. Please, according to the current version of Superman's origin, Birthright, Lex invented a machine to spy on Kryptonian past, and reversed-engineered many of his scientific advances from there... but he doesn't know how to speak their language? Please.
NIT-O-METER: This is kinda hard not to have avoided with some thinking, so it gets 7 Bazzars.
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"YOU'RE NOT REALLY MY DAD!
TITLE: X-Men: Deadly Genesis.
ISSUE: 01 Of 06.
CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: In page 9, Rachel Summers calls Cyclops "Scott", and on page 19, she calls Jean Grey "Jean"; she's always called them "mom" and "dad", even if she's their daughter from an alternate timeline.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, not a big deal.
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"IF JIMAINE CAN BE AMANDA, I CAN CHANGE MY NAME TOO!"
TITLE: Nightcrawler V3.
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 3, Margali Zsardos says her deceased son is called "Stephen", when his name is Stefan.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, they keep repeating this mistake during the next issues, and his name has been said before in several other books, correctly.
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"WOLVERINE, ENGLISH TEACHER"
TITLE: Nightcrawler V3.
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Okay, Aguirre-Sacasa is _this_ close to winning the prize of worst writer of the moment. Not only his storylines are dull, and unimaginative (I'm reading this ONLY because of Nightcrawler), but his dialogues are horrible as well. On page 6 Wolverine utters this line "I called Cyke, who's coming in the Black Bird." Has this Aguirre-Sacasa ever read Wolverine's dialogues? In fact, has he ever heard someone speak?
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars... come on, a professional writer should know better than this. Also, not a nit, but a stupid retcon, what the hell is this crap about Kurt living in an American Circus? Only because it serves Aguirre-Sacasa's storyline, he invents that part of Nightcrawler's past? Lousy writing.
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"WHOSE EYE IS THIS?"
TITLE: Nightcrawler V3.
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (writer) or Rus Wooton (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 20, Margali Zsardos mentions "the eye of AGOMOTTO", when it's "Agamotto", with an "a". Who's Agomotto, Agamotto's brother?
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, not a big deal, probably a typo, although I'm leaning towards the fact that Aguirre-Sacasa is just a bad writer. In fact, the nit-o-meter scale might soon be graded in Ragsacs....
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"DON'T MIND THE FLIES, I"VE JUST HAVEN'T BATHED IN TWO YEARS..."
TITLE: Nightcrawler V3.
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (writer) and/or Darick Robertson (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: I already said it, I'm not fond of this rehashing of Kurt's past, so I'll be direct: what's up with his brother, Stefan, having red eyes and all the flies buzzing around him? Okay, I can buy into the fact that he was demon-possesed, but not one of the previous telling of that episode of Nightcrawler's life showed him like that, all "lord of the flies" like. It's official, Aguirre-Sacasa just made my black list of writers... I might keep reading on, just because a Nightcrawler junkie...
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzar's, I hate continuity patches like this, done only to serve a meaningless story arc. I mean, Nightcrawler's one of my favorite characters, but he doesn't merit a solo book. Not even Wolverine does, story-wise, no matter what sales may show.
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”I’M NIGHTCRAWLER, NOT MOONLIGHTER!”
TITLE: Black Panther V4.
ISSUE: 07.
CULPRIT: Reginald Hudlin (writer) and/or Trevor Hairsine (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: This issue is a House Of M tie-in, and in that reality, Kurt Wagner (aka Nightcrawler) is a member of the Red Guard, the elite shield team led by Wolverine. Then why is he here, attacking Africa, as one of Apocalypse's troops (maybe even a Horseman), wearing a different uniform than his Red Guard one (he wears a uniform almost like his regular 616 clothes), and with a different haircut (longer) than in his other House Of M appearances? Okay, that was a long sentence.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzar's, this is something you could have avoided by asking the House Of M editor what mutants were available for use as Apocalypse troopers.
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"NO, NO, I'M DE COOL GUY OF DE TEAM, BUT I'M NOT THE ICEMAN!"
TITLE: Black Panther V4.
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Reginald Hudlin (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 3, Wolverine calls Gambit "Drake", which is of course, the last name of the Iceman.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, Hudlin's Panther run has been nearly flawless, but this is just not paying attention.
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"ICE THIS THINGY FOR ME!"
TITLE: Black Panther V4.
ISSUE: 09.
CULPRIT: Reginald Hudlin (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 21, the Black Panther asks Iceman to put "this glove" on a block of ice until his medical team can arrive. Problem is, it's not a glove, it's a vial or container with a virus inside it... I've never seen that thing called a "glove".
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars again, I guess this wasn't Hudlin's day...
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"NO HURRICANES, JUST A GALE"
TITLE: Wizard Magazine.
ISSUE: 169.
CULPRIT: Chris Ward (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, I know, this is not a comic book, it's about comic books. But this was funny, and I couldn´t let it pass... On page 61, in his article about Infinite Crisis, Chris Ward mentions Villains United writer, "Gale" Simone (her first name is "Gail").
NIT-O-METER: I'm giving this a 6, it's not big, but a long time member of Wizard's staff like Chris Ward should know the name of such prominent a writer as Simone is. Who's next, "Jeff" Loeb, "Gerry" Ordway and "Sean" Byrne?
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"THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY PREVIOUS ONES, AND THERE WILL BE A SECOND ONE!"
TITLE: DC Universe Golden Age Secret Files & Origins.
ISSUE: Single issue.
CULPRIT: John Ostrander (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 17, before WWII, Johnny Thunder refers to WWI as "The First War"... not only that wasn't the first war ever, but people referred to what we now call WWI as "The Great War".
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, I expect more historic knowledge from a good writer as Mr. Ostrander.
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"MULTIPLE MAN-UFACTURER"
TITLE: Madrox.
ISSUE: 3.
CULPRIT: Peter A. David (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 13, Madrox is handcuffed, and doesn't want to make a duplicate of him, because it would appear handcuffed as well. WTF?!?! That has never been the case, as far as I can remember, with Madrox's power... if so, it would be easy to make money: just borrow a 50 karat diamond ring and start making dupes, you get several rings to sell, and return the original one.
Besides, PAD may be able to contradict his own writing, but it was himself who established in his X-Factor run that there's no "original" and "duplicate" Madroxes, they're all multiple bodies of the same person... and on this run of Madrox, he reverted to the original idea of the character. I must say, I like the fact that each Madrox has its own ideas and feelings, it makes for an interesting story, but I'd rather we stick to the "no original Jamie" thing.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, PAD should know better, he wrote this character for a long time, and this whole "handcuffed dupe" only served to show that Madrox had acquired escapist skills.
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This week we had a 5.1 average, lower than last week's 6.4. Am I reading more quality stuff? Or is it just that there's more nits, but lower ranking? I vote for option B. Until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE NITPICKER!
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
The Nitpicker #39.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Tell my head wife I have love her head very much!" Head, in All New Atom #15, to which Panda Potter (aka Atom V) responds "She knows, Head. She knows."
Man, can a David Bowie reference get me, or what? I say this because of the quote of the week, of course, from that delightfully excellent book that All New Atom is... but more on that later. Truth is that Xander Harris' quote about Kurt Russell almost won first spot, but I decided this one was better, even more than Head's "DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!" in the same issue.
Sorry this column is late; but it's been hectic at work, and I'm thinking next week's will be late too, so be prepared. Last week's STN was guessed basically at the same time by Dominik B. over at ICS, and Miss Kitty Fantastico at my blog. So, here's a badge for each of you guys. Let's see how you do this week, shall we?
One thing I'd like to tell you this week, is that I've decided to moderate my ratings. I've been too trigger happy on the Bazzars, when at first I only gave out ratings of 10 when things affected plot; then I began giving them out for repeated offenses; and then, just for anything that annoyed the hell out of me... Some things (like Beast's feet) will keep getting a 10, but I'll try to take it easy on some of the other stuff, as some of my readers have suggested. Thanks!
As I said, more on All New Atom: issue #15 is one of the funniest, and entertaining comics I've read on some time. Gail Simone shows that you can write comedy in superhero books, and not be silly; while at the same time having a progressing storyline that actually matters. This is one of the best books around, and the best one Simone is currently writing. While I'm not particularly fond of the art, it's adequate, and the depicting of fantastic elements (such as monsters or aliens) is wonderful, simply but effectively designed.
The worst book of the week is Lucha Libre... I had hopes for that book, because the cover art reminded me of Mexican paintings, with Day of the Dead and Diego Rivera influences in the coloring... and once I read it, it was just like a painting: still, without movement. The story was flat, unoriginal, and boring, and the articles on Mexican wrestling were shallow and uninformed. There's some peddling of some action figures pretentiously dubbed "art-toys", which seem to have been produced before the comics, since they're already on sale, and this makes you feel like you just read a brochure for toys, and not a comic.
Also, there's no clear credits in the book; I want to know who did what, particularly in a book by (at least to me) unknown creators. The only hint of credits is the cover, which cryptically reads "Bill, Tanquerelle, Fabien M., Gobi, Witko, Jerry Frissen"... so.... who's a writer, who's a penciller, who's an inker... who did what? Image's site is only slightly less cryptic, reading "story JERRY FRISSEN, art BILL, GOBI, FABIAN M, WITKO, TANQUERELLE, cover BILL", but seeing that there's a central story, and two separate comic strips, as well as some mock covers of fake old issues, it would be nice to say who did what, for the readers' benefit, and to properly credit the creators.
A signature here and there in the art let's you know that, for example, the "Los Luchadorítos" strip was done by Tanquerelle, back in 2006, the same year some Witko and Iñes (I know the name Inés, but not Iñes) Vargas made the Profesor Furia ones, the later not being mentioned elsewhere. I must say, that there is something salvageable from this book (but not enough to buy it), and it's aforementioned the strips, "Profesor Furia" and "Los Luchadorítos", particularly the last one which seems written by someone who does understand the spirit of Mexican lucha libre.
Before going on to this week's nit, I must retract from last column's nit about Wonder Woman not being able to do "the twirly thing" to change back and forth from her "working clothes". Reader Shad says "Diana has been able to do this since late in the Phil Jimenez run. Jimenez never really explained it, but he did introduce it in one of the periods where things were going well for the Amazons and it wouldn't be unreasonable for the gods to grant Diana a minor new power as a thank you for her good work..." Phil Jimenez, precursor of bringing back idiocies of ages past... Thank Shad, I stand corrected, and although I don't feel like doing the math now, last column's average doesn't change significantly.
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"JUST LIKE A SHERIFF'S STAR."
TITLE: All New Atom.
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Mike Norton (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) has a chest emblem that's too small.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"MOVING OLD LADIES AROUND."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: My thoughts on the beginning of the much-hyped One More Day? Lackluster, with a story that could have been told in five pages and use the rest to actually advance the plot, and art that shows that Quesada should either draw, or be EiC, not both at the same time. Not to mention the fact that there's people like Elixir, of the New X-Men, who could heal May (but no, why be cohesive within your own universe?) The only good part? The fight between Iron Man and Spidey.
It also has the sappiest, most corniest, and lamest quote I've ever seen: "Tune your ear to the frequency of despair, and cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony." Ugh.... Oh, and it's got nits, starting with the fact that Peter says to himself on page four that they moved Aunt May from the hospital she was at to make sure nobody finishes the job (of killing her). Pete, 'fess up, you did it so you wouldn't go to jail and could still visit her.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"YEAH, I JUST CARRY IT AROUND WITH ME..."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Joe Quesada (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: A sympathetic doctor offers to cover up for MJ and Pete, because his uncle was saved by Spider-Man some years ago... and he just happens to carry around the entire newspaper with the front page of Peter's unmasking, instead of a clipping.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Before my attempt at controlling myself, I would have given this 7 or 8 Bazzars...
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"NOBODY WILL SUSPECT!"
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: So, Peter goes to Tony Stark for money, but the playboy tells him that he can't help him without having the help traced back to him, which would ruin all he's worked for, since Peter is a federal fugitive. Surely Tony can whip up some money-laundering plan, with his business savvy, technological abilities and resources; and superpowers, can't he? Yes! His sooper-intelligent plan is to deposit over two million bucks in... his butler Jarvis' account, and send him to pretend being May's cousin.... brilliant, because that can't be traced back to you at all Tony!
Not a nit per se, but why does Spidey change back to his blue and red costume again, without no explanation, when there's no change in the situation (or at least, no change for good) that made him ho back in black? Has the Spider-Man 3 movie DVD been released already?
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. You see, this would have easily been a 10 Bazzars if I wasn't attempting to control my impulses.
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"AN HOUR OR TWO, GIVE OR TAKE."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper, Mike Fichera & Al Sjoerdsma (profile writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: Spider-Man's artificial webs have traditionally been said to dissolve after about an hour; but now, according to this profile (and Marvel.com), they dissolve after two hours... or one to two hours, if you look at Marvel.com's profile for the web shooters...
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, the one-hour time limit has been pretty well established, as much as they want to ignore it now.
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"FABULOUS COLOR-CHANGING HAIR!"
TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).
NIT-TO-PICK: So, on page 2, when the story opens, Oliver Queen's hair (or at least his facial hair) is blond, basically the same shade as Black Canary's (not her facial hair). Then on page five, it's orange, obviously a completely different color than Canary's. Then on page six, it becomes yellow again, only to turn orange again on page eleven, and for the rest of the book.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. It'd get less, but the fact that they didn't keep it consistent within the same issue makes it go up.
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"SPOT AWAY!"
TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).
NIT-TO-PICK: Look at this page, and tell me what you see. It's subtle, so beware. Oh, and guys, enjoy the cheesecake.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars (it's again a matter of intra-issue consistency).
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"JAZZ HANDS? NO, JAZZ BEARD!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 51 through 42.
CULPRIT: All pencillers who worked in those issues.
NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by Illustr8r on Newsarama, and then I did all the legwork to put numbers on it. Back when the Piper/Trickster storyline started, which was actually in "Flash, The Fastest Man Alive", Piper sported a pair of sunglasses as part of his costume, and a goatee. Those issues overlap with the first few issues of Countdown, but when we see him there, he has no beard, and wears no sunglasses. Up until issue 42, when he jumps out of an airplane with Trickster (or actually, Trickster makes both of them jump, since they're chained together), he has no sunglasses, and no beard.
Then comes issue 41, and in the cover, we see that Piper as, in mid-air, grown back his beard and put on his sunglasses (actually, his chin is not visible on the cover). This was actually due to the pencillers on the cover and interiors of this issue (Terry Dodson and Dennis Calero, respectively) actually looking at how a character should look, the oversight of their predecessors on Countdown not withstanding. Still, as you'll see in the next nits, they not free of blame.
So, Piper gets his beard back, and we actually see him loose the glasses while he falls down to earth. He walks out of the water and onto Gotham City's harbor still wearing his beard. However, by next issue, having walked only a few blocks (I assume, but still, no time to shave) to arrive at the Iceberg Lounge, he again has no beard. Illustr8r said "Whoever's overseeing artistic continuity in this series should be shot..." No Illustr8r, you can't shoot somebody who doesn't exist... because there's nobody overseeing artistic continuity in Countdown... by the way, you've won yourself an HNSC badge!
NIT-O-METER: I'll give this 8 Bazzars, but won't repeat it since during their brief stay at the Iceberg Lounge, Piper might have had time to shave. Furthermore, if somebody decides to draw him with a beard, I won't consider it a nit, unless they do what you can read below, or some editor claims Piper shaved.
<-------------------------------->
"JAZZ BEARD, TAKE TWO."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, Calero did draw Piper almost the right way. Almost. Piper's beard was a full goatee in "Flash...", but in this issue of Countdown it's barely a large soul patch.
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, yes, he could have trimmed it...
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"TRICKSTER, QUIT PLAYING WITH MY SHADES!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, explain this one Calero! On pages 2 and 3 we can see Piper's beard and glasses, but on the first panel of page 4 he doesn't have the glasses (and we can't see his chin), only to have them on panel 2, so they can fall of him on panel 4
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"MARY'S HEELS? NOT THIS TIME."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34 and various issues.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller for issues 34 and others), and pencillers for other issues.
NIT-TO-PICK: Another one spotted by Newsarama readers; this time it's leahcim (yes, no capital "l"), who also gets a HNSC badge. Donna Troy's heels come and go, though not as blatantly as Mary Marvel's, since they change between normal boot heels (not stilettos) and flat-soled boots.
You know what I have a problem with this issue? The fact that Kyle Rayner appears de-Parallaxed, and they say, unnecessarily, that the story takes place after Green Lantern #23... when Kyle finishes that GL issue still under Parallax' control. I don't think many people believe Kyle was going to stay Parallax-ed, but still...
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"JIMMY'S GROWN."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 5, John Henry "Steel" Irons is running some tests on Jimmy Olsen. Problem is, Jimmy seems taller (or the same height, if you allow for skewed perspective) than John. John Henry Iron's is 6'8", and Jimmy is somewhere between 5'7" and 6'2" (I don't believe the latter account), from what I've found around the web. Does anyone have Superman Secret Files & Origins (1998) laying around? That's where Jimmy's latest profile (including height) is, according to some research.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"YEAH, I'M JUST FOLLOWING KYLE'S LEAD."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Mary Marvel's lightning bolt is drawn too small on her uniform on page 15.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"HEEL MY CRY!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Mary's stilettos are gone again.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"NEW TECHNOLOGY, NEW SPELLING."
TITLE: Doktor Sleepless.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer) or unnamed letterer.
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, panel 3, it says "dialling" instead of "dialing".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"BABY BLUES."
TITLE: Exiles.
ISSUE: 98.
CULPRIT: Wil Quintana (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Psylocke's eyes are colored blue on page 24, instead of purple.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, because they keep it up.
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"NOT EVERYMAN."
TITLE: Infinity Inc. V2.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Milligan says that Lex Luthor, through his Everyman Project, "manipulated the metagenes of countless teens"; when it was all kinds of people, from teens to middle-aged men and women (Immortal-Man-In-Baldness, anyone?).
As for the book's name, the old series said "Infinity Inc." on the cover, but "Infinity, Inc" in the indicia (which is what I try to go by); however, I'm inclined to consider this new comic a second volume of the same book.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"THEY'RE FAMOUS, SO WHO CARES HOW WE SPELL IT?"
TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: There's an Italian restaurant called "Giuseppe's Famoso Sausages"; "famoso" means "famous", but only when applied to male nouns, and "sausages" in Italian is a female noun (yes, nouns in languages other than English have genders), so "famosa" (or actually "famosas", since it's plural) would apply.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"WHAT A MAGNIFICENT RESTRAUNT!"
TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Francis Manapul & Joel Gomez (pencillers).
NIT-TO-PICK: The sign above the restaurant says "sausges" instead of "sausages".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"I'M TOO SHORT TO KEEP TRACK OF TIME."
TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 18, Big Daddy says it's been six months since Michael Iron disappeared, but according to Angel a few pages before, it was only three months.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'RE KIND OF EMBARASSED OF THAT CHARACTER..."
TITLE: Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus.
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor).
NIT-TO-PICK: Scott Allie introduces artist Jason Armstrong in the letters page, saying that among his works are "Marvel's Doc Thunder"; when Armstrong's creator-owned Doc Thunder was published by Dark Horse.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's the company you work for!
<-------------------------------->
"YO SER LUCHADOR!"
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: By now you already know what I think of this book, so, let me tell you about the nits it's got. For starters, on page ten, King Karate uses a wrestling move on an opponent which he calls "la suastica", which probably was meant to be "la esvástica", which means "swastika" in Spanish (since the guy's body ends up looking like one).
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MASTER OF LANGUAGES!"
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 29, one of the short stories of Profesor Furia, the title is "Maître du Monde"; which is translated as "Master of the Universe" in English, and "Maestro del Mundo" in Spanish. Well, this is a double nit, because "monde" means "world" in French, not "Universe", and "maestro" in Spanish means "teacher"; if you want to say "master" you need to say "señor" or "amo".
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, two separate counts.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SILVER MASKED MAN... WITH A RED MASK..."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Uncredited graphic designer for article pages.
NIT-TO-PICK: On article on pages 30 and 31, photos of El Santo have his mask colored red; when it was silver. I mean, his nickname was "The Silver Masked Man"!
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could have been some bizarrely colored version of his movies; but if you're going to do an article on Mexican wrestling, you should know better.
<-------------------------------->
"SWORN ENEMY ON WEEKENDS, RIVALS ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS, FRIENDS THE REST OF THE WEEK."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Blue Demon is referred to as El Santo's "sworn enemy"; when they were rivals (but not enemies) on the ring, and friends on the movies (although when the masks were off, they weren't really friends).
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSICAL ERROR."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On the same article, Mexican TV channel "De Película Clásico" is called "De Pelicula Classico".
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T COMPRENDO SPANISH."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: In another Profesor Furia story, on page 33, it says "comprede" instead of "comprende". "Comprende" is "did you understand?" in Spanish.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KAHN'T SPELL."
TITLE: Metal Men V4.
ISSUE: 02 of 08.
CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer) or Pat Brosseau (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Kahn says, on panel 3 of page 13, "praktical" instead of "practical".
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"010110010100111101010101001000
000100010001001111010011100010
011101010100001000000101001101
01000001000101010000010100101
10010000001001101010000010100
001101001000010010010100111001
00010100100000010011000100000
1010011100100011101010101010000
01010001110100010100100001"
TITLE: Metal Men V4.
ISSUE: 02 of 08.
CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Rouleau tries to be clever by having U.N.I.O.N. speak in binary code, however, all his binary is flawed. I can't read binary (I'm one of those people, yes), but I knew it didn't sound right, so I checked it out. You can translate to and from binary here, among other places, and you'll see that whatever string of ones and zeros not divisible by eight is not binary. It takes more than senselessly sticking together some 1s and 0s to write Binary, and Rouleau could have spent five minutes on the web researching before doing it.
By the way, here's how you write MaGnUs in binary: 01001101011000010100
0111011011100101010101110011. Neat!
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, consider this a mathematical variation of my "other languages" peeve.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE!"
TITLE: New Warriors V4.
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller) and Marte Gracia (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: This is a fun book, which is a surprise to me since I found Underworld (the movie written by this books scribe, Kevin Grevioux) unbelievably boring. I wonder who Night Trasher is, Dominik B. think he might be the Black Panther, but I think that'd be too obvious.
However good, the book is not devoid of nits. Angel Salvadore (now using the name Tempest) is shown as having basically the same skin tone as her husband, the former Beak; but he's white and she's supposed to be black. I'm not going into her figure, because she could have lost weight and all, but I will complain about her features, which don't look African American to me.
I know some people are complaining about Beak (now Blackwing); that he looks to hunky, I say his de-mutation could have made him go back to looking better, less birdlike, that what he looked like when he first lost his X-gene. The muscles, though, are a bit too much; I think they should draw him with a more birdlike body, kind of like Angel (Warren Worthington) over at X-Men: First Class.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BY THE POWER OF THE CROTCH-X!"
TITLE: New Warriors V4.
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Speaking of X-Men: First Class, Night Trasher and his second-in-command, Wondra (Jubilation Lee, with a codename that sounds like a portmanteau of "Wonder Bra") are reviewing team strategies on page sixteen. They're looking at what seems to be footage of the original X-Men in their early years (strangely, Angel is nowhere to be seen, perhaps he's out of camera), and what uniforms are they wearing? The ones from X-Men: First Class!!!
Now, this is my proof of the fact that Marvel is slowly trying to force First Class as the X-Men's early adventures in 616! However, as long as they don't come out and specifically say that that's their intention, I will consider the use of these costumes a nit.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M STILL THE HUGGERNAUT, BITCH!"
TITLE: New Excalibur.
ISSUE: 23.
CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Jeremy, did you remember to check that the Juggernaut, as big as he is, is still human sized? That his height is 6'01", and Dazzler's is 5'8"? And that therefore, she should not two feet shorter than him, nor the size of one of his arms? Yes, it could be that since reclaiming (sort of) the power of the Juggernaut, he's grown larger, but his teammates would have noticed it.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. This would have been an 8 under my new moderation policy, but since Haun's a repeating offender, he gets a higher rating.
<-------------------------------->
"THE NITPICKER V2 OR V3?"
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 37 and others.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer)
NIT-TO-PICK: I've been calling labeling Astonishing X-Men as V2, when it's V3. Thanks to TokerTheKid for spotting this, here's a HNSC badge for him.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LIKE KYLE OR MARY, I DON'T WANT THE EMBLEM TO DISTRACT PEOPLE FROM MY PECS."
TITLE: Outsiders V3.
ISSUE: 50 (and next month, it'll be Batman And The Outsiders #1 (V2, of course)... did we really need a new issue one?).
CULPRIT: Matthew Clark & Ron Randall (pencillers).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 21, Batman's chest emblem is an itty-bitty tiny bat, only for it to look regular-sized by the next page. Besides I wish they'd make up their minds, does batman wear a black cowl and cape, or is it blue?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE-HULK SMASHES MEASUREMENTS!"
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Rick Burchett (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Well, I won't write a review on this issue, and since it was, technically, well-written and with adequate art, I didn't pick it as the worst book of the week (plus, nothing was as bad as Lucha Libre), but I think the plot device of a parallel reality's people coming to live as their superheroic or villainous counterparts, used to explain stuff like She-Hulk sleeping with Juggernaut was, at best, lazy.
My problem with this book started (granted, I've never actually followed it) when they started using real-world Marvel comics as court evidence. I can appreciate a comedy book, but if they have to break the fourth wall every two panels, then it doesn't belong in continuity with the rest of the 616 Marvel universe. I take my continuity very seriously; I can accept separate continuities like Ultimate or Adventures, and even funny books like this one or even non-comedy books like Mythos, and accept them as good comics.
However, one of the things I like the most about DC and Marvel is the fact that most of their books happen within one single, huge (and yes, sometimes retconed or even rebooted) continuity. You can do comedy while working within continuity (JLI, anyone? Or the current Atom book?). I honestly feel that books like She-Hulk, if intended as part of that big continuity, take away from it, and diminish its impact. Of course, I could always ignore them, as I've done for the most part with She-Hulk, but when they start undoing stuff done in other books, that's when it matters to me.
I know people hated Chuck Austen's run on Uncanny X-Men, I didn't hate it that much (except for the Nightcrawler-is-half-demon part). In fact, the whole journey of Juggernaut into Huggernaut was actually pretty believable, and the scene where he and She-Hulk do the horizontal mambo was really a good part from that storyline...
Anyhoooo... I digress, and mucho... Miss Kitty Fantastico gets a badge for spotting this particular nit (which I'll get to in a moment, all the above was just a rant, and MKF will most likely hate me for). On page 5 the She-Hulk from Earth A (616 would be Earth B to them) is, according to her mugshot when arrested, 7'9". Jennifer Walters in her She-Hulk is actually 6'7" (and this is supposed to be 616 Shulkie's exact duplicate).
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BIG HOUSE, SMALL COMFORTS."
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers) and/or Rick Burchett (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: You know what else I hate about this book? No, don't worry, I won't subject you to another rant (for now). This is just another nit. Mallory Book is speaking over the phone with Titania, who's in The Big House. The Big House is a shrunken prison for villains, created by Hank Pym; who has, I assume, all the necessary "comforts" to house inmates and guards, yet Titania is shown using a normal sized phone. Why wouldn't they have tiny phones? And why do the ants walking around seem about half the size of the phone receiver?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OF COURSE YOU THINK IT'S PERMANENT REED, YOU CAN'T CURE YOUR BEST FRIEND."
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: She-Hulk, for the past issues, and now Mister Fantastic, go on and on about how the nanites Tony Stark shot Jen with to take her powers away are permanent... yet twice now, once by Amadeus Cho, and once by Stark, the nanites have been rendered inoperative for a period of time, however short. They're obviously not permanent.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GET IT RIGHT DAMMIT!"
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Tom Brevoort (editor) and/or Molly Lazer (assistant editor).
NIT-TO-PICK: I found this one while checking the credits to write the nits above. Once more, one of the senior partners of the firm She-Hulk works at is spelled "Kurtzburg" instead of "Kurtzberg". Get it right people! He's named after Jack Kirby, and his real last name was Kurtzberg, not Kurtzburg!!!
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it's a repeat offense, about the third time they do this...
<-------------------------------->
"FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH."
TITLE: Supergirl V6.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller/colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Ma and Pa Kent look too young (again), and nothing like they do in Action Comics, published the week before.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars is what this gets, both for being a repeat offense, and for not even matching other books published almost at the same time.
<-------------------------------->
"MY MASTER PLAN!"
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.
ISSUE: 490.
CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: James Proudstar's plan is to remove the inhibitor collar from Leech, rendering the Morlocks powerless; but he neglects to mention that he'll be powerless too.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, he could be not mentioning that on purpose so Hepzibah doesn't worry about him.
<-------------------------------->
"WHA?"
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.
ISSUE: 490.
CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On the credits for the Endangered Species story, colorist Raúl Treviño's first name is incorrectly given as having the tilde on the "R", something that's not only wrong, but impossible.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Wow... my moderation policy has clearly affected the average this week, with a 4.9 Bazzars. I'm speechless, so I'll just show you this week's WTF? moment. It's from All New Atom 15, and it's, brace yourself, two Godzillaesque monsters making out:
There's a second WTF? moment, one I couldn't allow to pass. From The Boys #10, here's Tek-Knight humping a meteorite. Yes, exactly what you read, it's a meteorite with a fleshy orifice and he... well.... I can't think about it anymore:
Sweet dreams. That's it for now, until next week (maybe late this week), I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...
0101010001001000010001010010000001
00111001001001010101000101000001001
00101000011010010110100010101010010!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Tell my head wife I have love her head very much!" Head, in All New Atom #15, to which Panda Potter (aka Atom V) responds "She knows, Head. She knows."
Man, can a David Bowie reference get me, or what? I say this because of the quote of the week, of course, from that delightfully excellent book that All New Atom is... but more on that later. Truth is that Xander Harris' quote about Kurt Russell almost won first spot, but I decided this one was better, even more than Head's "DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!" in the same issue.
Sorry this column is late; but it's been hectic at work, and I'm thinking next week's will be late too, so be prepared. Last week's STN was guessed basically at the same time by Dominik B. over at ICS, and Miss Kitty Fantastico at my blog. So, here's a badge for each of you guys. Let's see how you do this week, shall we?
One thing I'd like to tell you this week, is that I've decided to moderate my ratings. I've been too trigger happy on the Bazzars, when at first I only gave out ratings of 10 when things affected plot; then I began giving them out for repeated offenses; and then, just for anything that annoyed the hell out of me... Some things (like Beast's feet) will keep getting a 10, but I'll try to take it easy on some of the other stuff, as some of my readers have suggested. Thanks!
As I said, more on All New Atom: issue #15 is one of the funniest, and entertaining comics I've read on some time. Gail Simone shows that you can write comedy in superhero books, and not be silly; while at the same time having a progressing storyline that actually matters. This is one of the best books around, and the best one Simone is currently writing. While I'm not particularly fond of the art, it's adequate, and the depicting of fantastic elements (such as monsters or aliens) is wonderful, simply but effectively designed.
The worst book of the week is Lucha Libre... I had hopes for that book, because the cover art reminded me of Mexican paintings, with Day of the Dead and Diego Rivera influences in the coloring... and once I read it, it was just like a painting: still, without movement. The story was flat, unoriginal, and boring, and the articles on Mexican wrestling were shallow and uninformed. There's some peddling of some action figures pretentiously dubbed "art-toys", which seem to have been produced before the comics, since they're already on sale, and this makes you feel like you just read a brochure for toys, and not a comic.
Also, there's no clear credits in the book; I want to know who did what, particularly in a book by (at least to me) unknown creators. The only hint of credits is the cover, which cryptically reads "Bill, Tanquerelle, Fabien M., Gobi, Witko, Jerry Frissen"... so.... who's a writer, who's a penciller, who's an inker... who did what? Image's site is only slightly less cryptic, reading "story JERRY FRISSEN, art BILL, GOBI, FABIAN M, WITKO, TANQUERELLE, cover BILL", but seeing that there's a central story, and two separate comic strips, as well as some mock covers of fake old issues, it would be nice to say who did what, for the readers' benefit, and to properly credit the creators.
A signature here and there in the art let's you know that, for example, the "Los Luchadorítos" strip was done by Tanquerelle, back in 2006, the same year some Witko and Iñes (I know the name Inés, but not Iñes) Vargas made the Profesor Furia ones, the later not being mentioned elsewhere. I must say, that there is something salvageable from this book (but not enough to buy it), and it's aforementioned the strips, "Profesor Furia" and "Los Luchadorítos", particularly the last one which seems written by someone who does understand the spirit of Mexican lucha libre.
Before going on to this week's nit, I must retract from last column's nit about Wonder Woman not being able to do "the twirly thing" to change back and forth from her "working clothes". Reader Shad says "Diana has been able to do this since late in the Phil Jimenez run. Jimenez never really explained it, but he did introduce it in one of the periods where things were going well for the Amazons and it wouldn't be unreasonable for the gods to grant Diana a minor new power as a thank you for her good work..." Phil Jimenez, precursor of bringing back idiocies of ages past... Thank Shad, I stand corrected, and although I don't feel like doing the math now, last column's average doesn't change significantly.
<-------------------------------->
"JUST LIKE A SHERIFF'S STAR."
TITLE: All New Atom.
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Mike Norton (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) has a chest emblem that's too small.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MOVING OLD LADIES AROUND."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: My thoughts on the beginning of the much-hyped One More Day? Lackluster, with a story that could have been told in five pages and use the rest to actually advance the plot, and art that shows that Quesada should either draw, or be EiC, not both at the same time. Not to mention the fact that there's people like Elixir, of the New X-Men, who could heal May (but no, why be cohesive within your own universe?) The only good part? The fight between Iron Man and Spidey.
It also has the sappiest, most corniest, and lamest quote I've ever seen: "Tune your ear to the frequency of despair, and cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony." Ugh.... Oh, and it's got nits, starting with the fact that Peter says to himself on page four that they moved Aunt May from the hospital she was at to make sure nobody finishes the job (of killing her). Pete, 'fess up, you did it so you wouldn't go to jail and could still visit her.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I JUST CARRY IT AROUND WITH ME..."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Joe Quesada (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: A sympathetic doctor offers to cover up for MJ and Pete, because his uncle was saved by Spider-Man some years ago... and he just happens to carry around the entire newspaper with the front page of Peter's unmasking, instead of a clipping.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Before my attempt at controlling myself, I would have given this 7 or 8 Bazzars...
<-------------------------------->
"NOBODY WILL SUSPECT!"
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: So, Peter goes to Tony Stark for money, but the playboy tells him that he can't help him without having the help traced back to him, which would ruin all he's worked for, since Peter is a federal fugitive. Surely Tony can whip up some money-laundering plan, with his business savvy, technological abilities and resources; and superpowers, can't he? Yes! His sooper-intelligent plan is to deposit over two million bucks in... his butler Jarvis' account, and send him to pretend being May's cousin.... brilliant, because that can't be traced back to you at all Tony!
Not a nit per se, but why does Spidey change back to his blue and red costume again, without no explanation, when there's no change in the situation (or at least, no change for good) that made him ho back in black? Has the Spider-Man 3 movie DVD been released already?
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. You see, this would have easily been a 10 Bazzars if I wasn't attempting to control my impulses.
<-------------------------------->
"AN HOUR OR TWO, GIVE OR TAKE."
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man V1.
ISSUE: 544.
CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper, Mike Fichera & Al Sjoerdsma (profile writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: Spider-Man's artificial webs have traditionally been said to dissolve after about an hour; but now, according to this profile (and Marvel.com), they dissolve after two hours... or one to two hours, if you look at Marvel.com's profile for the web shooters...
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, the one-hour time limit has been pretty well established, as much as they want to ignore it now.
<-------------------------------->
"FABULOUS COLOR-CHANGING HAIR!"
TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).
NIT-TO-PICK: So, on page 2, when the story opens, Oliver Queen's hair (or at least his facial hair) is blond, basically the same shade as Black Canary's (not her facial hair). Then on page five, it's orange, obviously a completely different color than Canary's. Then on page six, it becomes yellow again, only to turn orange again on page eleven, and for the rest of the book.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. It'd get less, but the fact that they didn't keep it consistent within the same issue makes it go up.
<-------------------------------->
"SPOT AWAY!"
TITLE: Black Canary Wedding Planner.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: The Wories (colorists).
NIT-TO-PICK: Look at this page, and tell me what you see. It's subtle, so beware. Oh, and guys, enjoy the cheesecake.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars (it's again a matter of intra-issue consistency).
<-------------------------------->
"JAZZ HANDS? NO, JAZZ BEARD!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 51 through 42.
CULPRIT: All pencillers who worked in those issues.
NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by Illustr8r on Newsarama, and then I did all the legwork to put numbers on it. Back when the Piper/Trickster storyline started, which was actually in "Flash, The Fastest Man Alive", Piper sported a pair of sunglasses as part of his costume, and a goatee. Those issues overlap with the first few issues of Countdown, but when we see him there, he has no beard, and wears no sunglasses. Up until issue 42, when he jumps out of an airplane with Trickster (or actually, Trickster makes both of them jump, since they're chained together), he has no sunglasses, and no beard.
Then comes issue 41, and in the cover, we see that Piper as, in mid-air, grown back his beard and put on his sunglasses (actually, his chin is not visible on the cover). This was actually due to the pencillers on the cover and interiors of this issue (Terry Dodson and Dennis Calero, respectively) actually looking at how a character should look, the oversight of their predecessors on Countdown not withstanding. Still, as you'll see in the next nits, they not free of blame.
So, Piper gets his beard back, and we actually see him loose the glasses while he falls down to earth. He walks out of the water and onto Gotham City's harbor still wearing his beard. However, by next issue, having walked only a few blocks (I assume, but still, no time to shave) to arrive at the Iceberg Lounge, he again has no beard. Illustr8r said "Whoever's overseeing artistic continuity in this series should be shot..." No Illustr8r, you can't shoot somebody who doesn't exist... because there's nobody overseeing artistic continuity in Countdown... by the way, you've won yourself an HNSC badge!
NIT-O-METER: I'll give this 8 Bazzars, but won't repeat it since during their brief stay at the Iceberg Lounge, Piper might have had time to shave. Furthermore, if somebody decides to draw him with a beard, I won't consider it a nit, unless they do what you can read below, or some editor claims Piper shaved.
<-------------------------------->
"JAZZ BEARD, TAKE TWO."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, Calero did draw Piper almost the right way. Almost. Piper's beard was a full goatee in "Flash...", but in this issue of Countdown it's barely a large soul patch.
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, yes, he could have trimmed it...
<-------------------------------->
"TRICKSTER, QUIT PLAYING WITH MY SHADES!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 41.
CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, explain this one Calero! On pages 2 and 3 we can see Piper's beard and glasses, but on the first panel of page 4 he doesn't have the glasses (and we can't see his chin), only to have them on panel 2, so they can fall of him on panel 4
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MARY'S HEELS? NOT THIS TIME."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34 and various issues.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller for issues 34 and others), and pencillers for other issues.
NIT-TO-PICK: Another one spotted by Newsarama readers; this time it's leahcim (yes, no capital "l"), who also gets a HNSC badge. Donna Troy's heels come and go, though not as blatantly as Mary Marvel's, since they change between normal boot heels (not stilettos) and flat-soled boots.
You know what I have a problem with this issue? The fact that Kyle Rayner appears de-Parallaxed, and they say, unnecessarily, that the story takes place after Green Lantern #23... when Kyle finishes that GL issue still under Parallax' control. I don't think many people believe Kyle was going to stay Parallax-ed, but still...
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JIMMY'S GROWN."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 5, John Henry "Steel" Irons is running some tests on Jimmy Olsen. Problem is, Jimmy seems taller (or the same height, if you allow for skewed perspective) than John. John Henry Iron's is 6'8", and Jimmy is somewhere between 5'7" and 6'2" (I don't believe the latter account), from what I've found around the web. Does anyone have Superman Secret Files & Origins (1998) laying around? That's where Jimmy's latest profile (including height) is, according to some research.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, I'M JUST FOLLOWING KYLE'S LEAD."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Mary Marvel's lightning bolt is drawn too small on her uniform on page 15.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HEEL MY CRY!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 34.
CULPRIT: Jesus Saiz (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Mary's stilettos are gone again.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW TECHNOLOGY, NEW SPELLING."
TITLE: Doktor Sleepless.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer) or unnamed letterer.
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, panel 3, it says "dialling" instead of "dialing".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"BABY BLUES."
TITLE: Exiles.
ISSUE: 98.
CULPRIT: Wil Quintana (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Psylocke's eyes are colored blue on page 24, instead of purple.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, because they keep it up.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT EVERYMAN."
TITLE: Infinity Inc. V2.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Peter Milligan (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Milligan says that Lex Luthor, through his Everyman Project, "manipulated the metagenes of countless teens"; when it was all kinds of people, from teens to middle-aged men and women (Immortal-Man-In-Baldness, anyone?).
As for the book's name, the old series said "Infinity Inc." on the cover, but "Infinity, Inc" in the indicia (which is what I try to go by); however, I'm inclined to consider this new comic a second volume of the same book.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE FAMOUS, SO WHO CARES HOW WE SPELL IT?"
TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: There's an Italian restaurant called "Giuseppe's Famoso Sausages"; "famoso" means "famous", but only when applied to male nouns, and "sausages" in Italian is a female noun (yes, nouns in languages other than English have genders), so "famosa" (or actually "famosas", since it's plural) would apply.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT A MAGNIFICENT RESTRAUNT!"
TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Francis Manapul & Joel Gomez (pencillers).
NIT-TO-PICK: The sign above the restaurant says "sausges" instead of "sausages".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M TOO SHORT TO KEEP TRACK OF TIME."
TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Jason Rubin (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 18, Big Daddy says it's been six months since Michael Iron disappeared, but according to Angel a few pages before, it was only three months.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'RE KIND OF EMBARASSED OF THAT CHARACTER..."
TITLE: Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus.
ISSUE: 01 of 05.
CULPRIT: Scott Allie (editor).
NIT-TO-PICK: Scott Allie introduces artist Jason Armstrong in the letters page, saying that among his works are "Marvel's Doc Thunder"; when Armstrong's creator-owned Doc Thunder was published by Dark Horse.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's the company you work for!
<-------------------------------->
"YO SER LUCHADOR!"
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: By now you already know what I think of this book, so, let me tell you about the nits it's got. For starters, on page ten, King Karate uses a wrestling move on an opponent which he calls "la suastica", which probably was meant to be "la esvástica", which means "swastika" in Spanish (since the guy's body ends up looking like one).
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MASTER OF LANGUAGES!"
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 29, one of the short stories of Profesor Furia, the title is "Maître du Monde"; which is translated as "Master of the Universe" in English, and "Maestro del Mundo" in Spanish. Well, this is a double nit, because "monde" means "world" in French, not "Universe", and "maestro" in Spanish means "teacher"; if you want to say "master" you need to say "señor" or "amo".
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, two separate counts.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SILVER MASKED MAN... WITH A RED MASK..."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Uncredited graphic designer for article pages.
NIT-TO-PICK: On article on pages 30 and 31, photos of El Santo have his mask colored red; when it was silver. I mean, his nickname was "The Silver Masked Man"!
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could have been some bizarrely colored version of his movies; but if you're going to do an article on Mexican wrestling, you should know better.
<-------------------------------->
"SWORN ENEMY ON WEEKENDS, RIVALS ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS, FRIENDS THE REST OF THE WEEK."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Blue Demon is referred to as El Santo's "sworn enemy"; when they were rivals (but not enemies) on the ring, and friends on the movies (although when the masks were off, they weren't really friends).
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CLASSICAL ERROR."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jimmy Pantera (article writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On the same article, Mexican TV channel "De Película Clásico" is called "De Pelicula Classico".
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T COMPRENDO SPANISH."
TITLE: Lucha Libre.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Jerry Frissen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: In another Profesor Furia story, on page 33, it says "comprede" instead of "comprende". "Comprende" is "did you understand?" in Spanish.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KAHN'T SPELL."
TITLE: Metal Men V4.
ISSUE: 02 of 08.
CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer) or Pat Brosseau (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Kahn says, on panel 3 of page 13, "praktical" instead of "practical".
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"010110010100111101010101001000
000100010001001111010011100010
011101010100001000000101001101
01000001000101010000010100101
10010000001001101010000010100
001101001000010010010100111001
00010100100000010011000100000
1010011100100011101010101010000
01010001110100010100100001"
TITLE: Metal Men V4.
ISSUE: 02 of 08.
CULPRIT: Duncan Rouleau (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Rouleau tries to be clever by having U.N.I.O.N. speak in binary code, however, all his binary is flawed. I can't read binary (I'm one of those people, yes), but I knew it didn't sound right, so I checked it out. You can translate to and from binary here, among other places, and you'll see that whatever string of ones and zeros not divisible by eight is not binary. It takes more than senselessly sticking together some 1s and 0s to write Binary, and Rouleau could have spent five minutes on the web researching before doing it.
By the way, here's how you write MaGnUs in binary: 01001101011000010100
0111011011100101010101110011. Neat!
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, consider this a mathematical variation of my "other languages" peeve.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE!"
TITLE: New Warriors V4.
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller) and Marte Gracia (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: This is a fun book, which is a surprise to me since I found Underworld (the movie written by this books scribe, Kevin Grevioux) unbelievably boring. I wonder who Night Trasher is, Dominik B. think he might be the Black Panther, but I think that'd be too obvious.
However good, the book is not devoid of nits. Angel Salvadore (now using the name Tempest) is shown as having basically the same skin tone as her husband, the former Beak; but he's white and she's supposed to be black. I'm not going into her figure, because she could have lost weight and all, but I will complain about her features, which don't look African American to me.
I know some people are complaining about Beak (now Blackwing); that he looks to hunky, I say his de-mutation could have made him go back to looking better, less birdlike, that what he looked like when he first lost his X-gene. The muscles, though, are a bit too much; I think they should draw him with a more birdlike body, kind of like Angel (Warren Worthington) over at X-Men: First Class.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BY THE POWER OF THE CROTCH-X!"
TITLE: New Warriors V4.
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Paco Medina (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Speaking of X-Men: First Class, Night Trasher and his second-in-command, Wondra (Jubilation Lee, with a codename that sounds like a portmanteau of "Wonder Bra") are reviewing team strategies on page sixteen. They're looking at what seems to be footage of the original X-Men in their early years (strangely, Angel is nowhere to be seen, perhaps he's out of camera), and what uniforms are they wearing? The ones from X-Men: First Class!!!
Now, this is my proof of the fact that Marvel is slowly trying to force First Class as the X-Men's early adventures in 616! However, as long as they don't come out and specifically say that that's their intention, I will consider the use of these costumes a nit.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M STILL THE HUGGERNAUT, BITCH!"
TITLE: New Excalibur.
ISSUE: 23.
CULPRIT: Jeremy Haun (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Jeremy, did you remember to check that the Juggernaut, as big as he is, is still human sized? That his height is 6'01", and Dazzler's is 5'8"? And that therefore, she should not two feet shorter than him, nor the size of one of his arms? Yes, it could be that since reclaiming (sort of) the power of the Juggernaut, he's grown larger, but his teammates would have noticed it.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. This would have been an 8 under my new moderation policy, but since Haun's a repeating offender, he gets a higher rating.
<-------------------------------->
"THE NITPICKER V2 OR V3?"
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 37 and others.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer)
NIT-TO-PICK: I've been calling labeling Astonishing X-Men as V2, when it's V3. Thanks to TokerTheKid for spotting this, here's a HNSC badge for him.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LIKE KYLE OR MARY, I DON'T WANT THE EMBLEM TO DISTRACT PEOPLE FROM MY PECS."
TITLE: Outsiders V3.
ISSUE: 50 (and next month, it'll be Batman And The Outsiders #1 (V2, of course)... did we really need a new issue one?).
CULPRIT: Matthew Clark & Ron Randall (pencillers).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 21, Batman's chest emblem is an itty-bitty tiny bat, only for it to look regular-sized by the next page. Besides I wish they'd make up their minds, does batman wear a black cowl and cape, or is it blue?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE-HULK SMASHES MEASUREMENTS!"
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Rick Burchett (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Well, I won't write a review on this issue, and since it was, technically, well-written and with adequate art, I didn't pick it as the worst book of the week (plus, nothing was as bad as Lucha Libre), but I think the plot device of a parallel reality's people coming to live as their superheroic or villainous counterparts, used to explain stuff like She-Hulk sleeping with Juggernaut was, at best, lazy.
My problem with this book started (granted, I've never actually followed it) when they started using real-world Marvel comics as court evidence. I can appreciate a comedy book, but if they have to break the fourth wall every two panels, then it doesn't belong in continuity with the rest of the 616 Marvel universe. I take my continuity very seriously; I can accept separate continuities like Ultimate or Adventures, and even funny books like this one or even non-comedy books like Mythos, and accept them as good comics.
However, one of the things I like the most about DC and Marvel is the fact that most of their books happen within one single, huge (and yes, sometimes retconed or even rebooted) continuity. You can do comedy while working within continuity (JLI, anyone? Or the current Atom book?). I honestly feel that books like She-Hulk, if intended as part of that big continuity, take away from it, and diminish its impact. Of course, I could always ignore them, as I've done for the most part with She-Hulk, but when they start undoing stuff done in other books, that's when it matters to me.
I know people hated Chuck Austen's run on Uncanny X-Men, I didn't hate it that much (except for the Nightcrawler-is-half-demon part). In fact, the whole journey of Juggernaut into Huggernaut was actually pretty believable, and the scene where he and She-Hulk do the horizontal mambo was really a good part from that storyline...
Anyhoooo... I digress, and mucho... Miss Kitty Fantastico gets a badge for spotting this particular nit (which I'll get to in a moment, all the above was just a rant, and MKF will most likely hate me for). On page 5 the She-Hulk from Earth A (616 would be Earth B to them) is, according to her mugshot when arrested, 7'9". Jennifer Walters in her She-Hulk is actually 6'7" (and this is supposed to be 616 Shulkie's exact duplicate).
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BIG HOUSE, SMALL COMFORTS."
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers) and/or Rick Burchett (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: You know what else I hate about this book? No, don't worry, I won't subject you to another rant (for now). This is just another nit. Mallory Book is speaking over the phone with Titania, who's in The Big House. The Big House is a shrunken prison for villains, created by Hank Pym; who has, I assume, all the necessary "comforts" to house inmates and guards, yet Titania is shown using a normal sized phone. Why wouldn't they have tiny phones? And why do the ants walking around seem about half the size of the phone receiver?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OF COURSE YOU THINK IT'S PERMANENT REED, YOU CAN'T CURE YOUR BEST FRIEND."
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Dan Slott & Ty Templeton (writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: She-Hulk, for the past issues, and now Mister Fantastic, go on and on about how the nanites Tony Stark shot Jen with to take her powers away are permanent... yet twice now, once by Amadeus Cho, and once by Stark, the nanites have been rendered inoperative for a period of time, however short. They're obviously not permanent.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"GET IT RIGHT DAMMIT!"
TITLE: She-Hulk V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Tom Brevoort (editor) and/or Molly Lazer (assistant editor).
NIT-TO-PICK: I found this one while checking the credits to write the nits above. Once more, one of the senior partners of the firm She-Hulk works at is spelled "Kurtzburg" instead of "Kurtzberg". Get it right people! He's named after Jack Kirby, and his real last name was Kurtzberg, not Kurtzburg!!!
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it's a repeat offense, about the third time they do this...
<-------------------------------->
"FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH."
TITLE: Supergirl V6.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Renato Guedes (penciller/colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Ma and Pa Kent look too young (again), and nothing like they do in Action Comics, published the week before.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars is what this gets, both for being a repeat offense, and for not even matching other books published almost at the same time.
<-------------------------------->
"MY MASTER PLAN!"
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.
ISSUE: 490.
CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: James Proudstar's plan is to remove the inhibitor collar from Leech, rendering the Morlocks powerless; but he neglects to mention that he'll be powerless too.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, he could be not mentioning that on purpose so Hepzibah doesn't worry about him.
<-------------------------------->
"WHA?"
TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.
ISSUE: 490.
CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On the credits for the Endangered Species story, colorist Raúl Treviño's first name is incorrectly given as having the tilde on the "R", something that's not only wrong, but impossible.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Wow... my moderation policy has clearly affected the average this week, with a 4.9 Bazzars. I'm speechless, so I'll just show you this week's WTF? moment. It's from All New Atom 15, and it's, brace yourself, two Godzillaesque monsters making out:
There's a second WTF? moment, one I couldn't allow to pass. From The Boys #10, here's Tek-Knight humping a meteorite. Yes, exactly what you read, it's a meteorite with a fleshy orifice and he... well.... I can't think about it anymore:
Sweet dreams. That's it for now, until next week (maybe late this week), I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...
0101010001001000010001010010000001
00111001001001010101000101000001001
00101000011010010110100010101010010!
The Nitpicker #38.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Is here Dali Planit. Dilivrees in reer or punch in face." Sign outside the "Dayli" Planet on Bizarro World. Spelled with random mirrored letters, of course.
Welcome to our 38th issue, I'll try to keep this intro short. The quote of the week was about the only thing I liked about Action Comics 855. In fact, this issue has all the Silver Age staples that should have stayed there, and it's the Nitpicker's Pick for worst book of the week. Bizarro, as a failed clone of Superman was ok; but now we again have the square planet and the entire population of the planet, including Bizarro Jimmy and Bizarro Lois. The elements like a Marlon Brando looking bearded Jor-El, the sunstones in the fortress, and all that, which were palatable in limited doses in the previous storyline by Geoff Johns and Richard Donner, plus other things like Bizarro World, all work together to create a tale which is too reminiscent of Silver Age silliness.
What's the pick for best book of the week, you say? Well, I didn't find much excitement in this week's books, but I'm going to have to say the Ex Machina Masquerade Special. The story is good, a little bit too soon for Halloween; but entertaining, and well told as Brian K. Vaughan has us used to. It's nice to see more of the back story on Mitchell Hundred, of his days after the accident that gave him his powers, but just before he started his superhero career. The art by John Paul Leon (pencils and inks) is good, some of the faces look a little different than what regular series artist Tony Harris does, but they look fine. The biggest problem i have with this book is that the colors (by JD Mettler) are a little bit too muted at times. Still, a good read.
Last week's STN was again spotted by Roy, and it was indeed the fact that Jericho did not wear a cape back when he first appeared. I think he's worn one at some point, but I don't really care... I mean, it's freaking Jericho. On with the nits, aight?
<-------------------------------->
"WOODY ALLEN KENT."
TITLE: Action Comics.
ISSUE: 855.
CULPRIT: Eric Powell (artist) and/or Geoff Johns & Richard Donner (writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: Why does a ten year old Clark Kent (who looks more like Woody Allen that Clark Kent) wear glasses, if he has no secret identity to protect? I mean, look at him, it's a young Woody Allen!!!
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BOOOOOOM!"
TITLE: Amazons Attack.
ISSUE: 06 of 06.
CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Oh, so the twist behind the Amazon attack was that Granny Goodness was masquerading as Athena? I can't claim credit for coming up with the theory, but I've been espousing that idea since somebody mentioned it in a Newsarama thread a month ago. Apart from that, are we really supposed to believe that "Athena" arrives via a very audible boom tube; and none of the heroes with super senses or high technology realized it was an Apokoliptian boom tube that brought the "Olympian" goddess to Earth?
Oh, and to all of you out there: it's A-po-ko-lips.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S JUST A RANDOM ISLAND, WHO'S GONNA NOTICE?"
TITLE: Batman Annual.
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: David López (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Look at the image below. On the left, the fragment of Australian map shown on page 12 of this book, and on the right, a fragment of a real Australian map the comic supposedly portrays. Let's play spot the seven differences!!!
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Please López, you could have at least looked at an Australian map.
<-------------------------------->
"IMMORTAL EYES."
TITLE: Batman Annual.
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Trish Mulvihill (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Now, this might be a side effect of the Lazarus Pit, but I've been unable to find any references. When shown as a young man, Ra's al Ghul has amber-colored eyes, but later in life, his eyes are green.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COVER THIS UP."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: JG Jones (cover artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: This book is definitely getting better and better, finally shaping up. Manuel García's art, though free of blunders like the Question's condom mask, still falls short of other artists like Jesus Saiz. Better or not, this book is not devoid of nits yet; on the cover, Una's (ugh!) boots have holes on the sides, ala Duo Damsel's seventies costume, but that design element is not present on Una's costume in the comic. Plus, she's not wearing her gloves (but she might be wearing the bracelets). Not to mention the fact that she's got a completely different haircut, and freckles she's never had.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S BREAST TO LEAVE THIS AS IT IS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: JG Jones (cover artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Also on the cover, Zatanna is wearing an open-breasted (and not just open) shirt, showing a lot of cleavage (never a bad thing), but she wears a regular tuxedo shirt (complete with bowtie) in the comic.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T FORGET YOUR JACKET."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page seven, Mary Marvel gets turned back into just plain Mary, and this time she's wearing her jacket, as opposed to the last time we saw her de-powered (last issue), when she wasn't.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERDICKERY!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Sean McKeever (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page nine, Superman says to Jimmy that he "kept insisting that you had special powers (...)" What do you mean Supes? You saw Jimmy grow to a giant size!
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars... there might be a point to this.
<-------------------------------->
"IT WAS TEMPORARY."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Red Arrow's tattoo is missing from his arm in the above mentioned page. Yet another HNS badge to Roy for spotting this.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MONKEY BUSSINESS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller) and/or Sean McKeever (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: When the flashbacks of Jimmy getting his ass kicked by the JLA are shown, Vixen is shown manifesting gorilla powers. The whole point of her in JLA was that she's not able to channel animals any longer, only metahumans. And yes, I know that gorillas are not monkeys, but apes. Oh, and look at how much better DC is doing at admitting these things over at Newsarama:
"NRAMA: With friends like those, though… On a side note - Vixen's loss of her animal powers was an important element in Brad Meltzer's JLA run that, to date, hasn't been reversed or "fixed," Yet in this issue, she's clearly possessing the power of a gorilla. What gives?
Mike Carlin: I’d say that Jimmy is a fairly easy guy ta knock down... And Vixen was just imagining what she would do if she needed more strength to knock him down.
NRAMA: …
MC: Is yer B.S.-O-Meter going off...?
NRAMA: Er, yeah.
MC: Okay, it was probably a screw up.
Sean McKeever: I would say that we're seeing how Jimmy imagined things went down based on what he's being told. That’s how you lie to the fans, Carlini! Er, I mean..."
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THESE ARE BETTER, MORE LIKE THE ONES WORN IN FAME."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller) and/or Sean McKeever (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 16, Una is not wearing metal or similar material bracelets, she's now wearing obvious cloth bracelets.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK HAIR MAKES ME LOOK MORE BADASS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page as above, Karate Kid's hair is colored black, when it's brown.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE COLOR OF... SOMETHING."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer, The Origin Of Parallax backup story).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 22, green is referred to as the color of courage... when it's the color of willpower, according to current Green Lantern mythos.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE USE IT TO SEND LETTERS."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Adam Beechen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 3, the Zeta Beam is referred to as a "communications beam", when it's, specifically, a teleportation beam.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE MATURES SLOWLY."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Eddy Barrows (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: I know that some (if not all) of Animal Man's Vertigo adventures are probably considered a separate continuity now that he's returned to superheroics; but do we need to de-age his kids? Maxine was about 7 or 8 towards the last time we saw her, and Cliff was around 12. Now they look like 3 and 8 respectively. Cliff could be 10 at most, maybe a childish looking 12 (particularly going by the fact that he tries to take a picture of a semi-naked Starfire to show a friend), but by page 18, he looks as short as Maxine, and his face makes him look 5. Then by page 19, panel one, Cliff looks about 10 years old, and by panel 2, he looks 12 again...
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, because of the age discrepancies inside this book.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T WEAR THE COLLAR TURNED UP, I WEAR IT TURNED OUTSIDE IN."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Eddy Barrows (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Just noticed this one while doing the one above; Cliff is wearing a collared shirt on page 18, but on page 19 he's wearing a regular t-shirt..
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NAH, LEAVE THEM ALONE."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer, Forerunner backup story).
NIT-TO-PICK: Forerunner's story, and the story of her race is told on this backup story, and the nine planets of Sol system gather an elite force to wipe them outs; nine of them survive, thinning the Forerunners from a thousand to a hundred. They are allowed to live, so they can submit to a peace accord. So, why didn't they send another force to wipe them out completely?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE STILL IN THE LAUNDRY."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 549.
CULPRIT: Paul Pelletier (penciller) and Paul Mounts (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: The Thing and the Human Torch are still wearing the regular blue Fantastic Four uniforms, instead of the black ones they should be wearing, plus Johnny Storm's haircut and length is different than what it should be.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S A WEAPON TO REPEL OURSELVES."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 549.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 28, they refer to the Oditopians using a weapon to repel... the Oditopians, when it should say the Contrasepsis.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MAYBE SHE DID CHANGE THEM."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Jason Wright (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: The quality on this last issue dropped a bit, but it didn't sink as low as the first issue. Again, Grace's eyes are colored green. She usually wears violet contacts, but in Amazons Attack she had blue contacts, then green ones. I still consider this a nit, but I'm keeping it at only 5 Bazzars, since she might have had time to actually change them this time.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPINNING AROUND."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Marc Andreyko (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page nine, Diana changes into civilian clothes with the trademark spin... since when has she been able to do it in modern comics?
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, unless someone corrects me.
<-------------------------------->
"THAT TOO IS GONE."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Art Thibert (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Grace's tattoos are gone from her lower torso.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, she could have covered them with makeup.
<-------------------------------->
"GO AHEAD, TRY IT."
TITLE: The Mice Templar.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Possibly Judy Glass & Will Swyer (editorial assistance, no actual editor is credited).
NIT-TO-PICK: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!! Sorry... the nit is not in the comic, but in the history of the making of the book at the end of the story. Look at this image below, and tell me if you can Spot The Nit!
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOVE GLOVE."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3.
ISSUE: 50.
CULPRIT: Rod Reis, Tom Smith & David Curiel (colorists) & Mike McKone (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page five, panel three, look at Robin's glove:
Why is it fingerless, and in the shape of a black plastic bag, when in the previous panel it was the appropriate green (this is his previous costume), with all fingers? Plus, not part of the nit, but that panel makes it look like Robin's talking when it's Wonder Girl's speech balloon. But never mind that.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"A MATTER OF SCALE."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Paco Díaz (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: The Department of Metahuman Affairs agents are once again shown wearing the scales of justice as their emblem, when that's just Nemesis' emblem.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T WORK HERE."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Paco Diaz (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 22, panel one, an agent in the background is missing the emblem from his uniform.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DECIDED TO GO BUSINESS CASSUAL."
TITLE: World War Hulk: X-Men.
ISSUE: 03 of 03 (and the previous issues too).
CULPRIT: Ed McGuinness (cover penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Besides being pointless, this could have been told in just one issue. Plus, it had the sappiest iteration of what I call the World War Hulk formula. What is the WWH formula? Easy: 1) Hulk threatens to smash, 2) character XYZ attempts to talk him down, 3) Hulk seems to listen, 4) Hulk either resists the attempts to talk him down, or was faking interest, 5) Hulk smashes XYZ and either captures or lets him/her go for some reason. In this case, Hulk beats the crap out of all X-teams assembled, and only lets them live after a sob story from Mercury. Yawn. Don't get me wrong, some of the crossovers and tie ins with WWH are fun (like Initiative), but most books are just being repetitive.
Oh, the nit.... yeah, sorry. On the cover, why the hell is Hulk wearing his usual purple-torn-pants-only "costume", instead of the gladiator getup he's sported so far? Fact, I just realized that he's not wearing his current costume on the covers to the other two issues, it wasn't that obvious because these were close-ups.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
That's it for this week, as far as nits go. Before telling you the average, let's see what the WTF?/DAYAMN! moment of the week was. It's a WTF? moment, and it was from Countdown. As I said, Manuel García's art for this book didn't reach Question condom mask levels, but still... is this Amalgam Superman/Squirrel Girl?
Ew! The average for this week, now that you ask, is 7.3 Bazzars, the highest in some time, since issue #31's 8.1. Let's see what next week brings us. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE NITPICKER!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Is here Dali Planit. Dilivrees in reer or punch in face." Sign outside the "Dayli" Planet on Bizarro World. Spelled with random mirrored letters, of course.
Welcome to our 38th issue, I'll try to keep this intro short. The quote of the week was about the only thing I liked about Action Comics 855. In fact, this issue has all the Silver Age staples that should have stayed there, and it's the Nitpicker's Pick for worst book of the week. Bizarro, as a failed clone of Superman was ok; but now we again have the square planet and the entire population of the planet, including Bizarro Jimmy and Bizarro Lois. The elements like a Marlon Brando looking bearded Jor-El, the sunstones in the fortress, and all that, which were palatable in limited doses in the previous storyline by Geoff Johns and Richard Donner, plus other things like Bizarro World, all work together to create a tale which is too reminiscent of Silver Age silliness.
What's the pick for best book of the week, you say? Well, I didn't find much excitement in this week's books, but I'm going to have to say the Ex Machina Masquerade Special. The story is good, a little bit too soon for Halloween; but entertaining, and well told as Brian K. Vaughan has us used to. It's nice to see more of the back story on Mitchell Hundred, of his days after the accident that gave him his powers, but just before he started his superhero career. The art by John Paul Leon (pencils and inks) is good, some of the faces look a little different than what regular series artist Tony Harris does, but they look fine. The biggest problem i have with this book is that the colors (by JD Mettler) are a little bit too muted at times. Still, a good read.
Last week's STN was again spotted by Roy, and it was indeed the fact that Jericho did not wear a cape back when he first appeared. I think he's worn one at some point, but I don't really care... I mean, it's freaking Jericho. On with the nits, aight?
<-------------------------------->
"WOODY ALLEN KENT."
TITLE: Action Comics.
ISSUE: 855.
CULPRIT: Eric Powell (artist) and/or Geoff Johns & Richard Donner (writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: Why does a ten year old Clark Kent (who looks more like Woody Allen that Clark Kent) wear glasses, if he has no secret identity to protect? I mean, look at him, it's a young Woody Allen!!!
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BOOOOOOM!"
TITLE: Amazons Attack.
ISSUE: 06 of 06.
CULPRIT: Will Pfeifer (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Oh, so the twist behind the Amazon attack was that Granny Goodness was masquerading as Athena? I can't claim credit for coming up with the theory, but I've been espousing that idea since somebody mentioned it in a Newsarama thread a month ago. Apart from that, are we really supposed to believe that "Athena" arrives via a very audible boom tube; and none of the heroes with super senses or high technology realized it was an Apokoliptian boom tube that brought the "Olympian" goddess to Earth?
Oh, and to all of you out there: it's A-po-ko-lips.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S JUST A RANDOM ISLAND, WHO'S GONNA NOTICE?"
TITLE: Batman Annual.
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: David López (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Look at the image below. On the left, the fragment of Australian map shown on page 12 of this book, and on the right, a fragment of a real Australian map the comic supposedly portrays. Let's play spot the seven differences!!!
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Please López, you could have at least looked at an Australian map.
<-------------------------------->
"IMMORTAL EYES."
TITLE: Batman Annual.
ISSUE: 26.
CULPRIT: Trish Mulvihill (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Now, this might be a side effect of the Lazarus Pit, but I've been unable to find any references. When shown as a young man, Ra's al Ghul has amber-colored eyes, but later in life, his eyes are green.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"COVER THIS UP."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: JG Jones (cover artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: This book is definitely getting better and better, finally shaping up. Manuel García's art, though free of blunders like the Question's condom mask, still falls short of other artists like Jesus Saiz. Better or not, this book is not devoid of nits yet; on the cover, Una's (ugh!) boots have holes on the sides, ala Duo Damsel's seventies costume, but that design element is not present on Una's costume in the comic. Plus, she's not wearing her gloves (but she might be wearing the bracelets). Not to mention the fact that she's got a completely different haircut, and freckles she's never had.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S BREAST TO LEAVE THIS AS IT IS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: JG Jones (cover artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Also on the cover, Zatanna is wearing an open-breasted (and not just open) shirt, showing a lot of cleavage (never a bad thing), but she wears a regular tuxedo shirt (complete with bowtie) in the comic.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T FORGET YOUR JACKET."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page seven, Mary Marvel gets turned back into just plain Mary, and this time she's wearing her jacket, as opposed to the last time we saw her de-powered (last issue), when she wasn't.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SUPERDICKERY!"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Sean McKeever (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page nine, Superman says to Jimmy that he "kept insisting that you had special powers (...)" What do you mean Supes? You saw Jimmy grow to a giant size!
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars... there might be a point to this.
<-------------------------------->
"IT WAS TEMPORARY."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Red Arrow's tattoo is missing from his arm in the above mentioned page. Yet another HNS badge to Roy for spotting this.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MONKEY BUSSINESS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller) and/or Sean McKeever (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: When the flashbacks of Jimmy getting his ass kicked by the JLA are shown, Vixen is shown manifesting gorilla powers. The whole point of her in JLA was that she's not able to channel animals any longer, only metahumans. And yes, I know that gorillas are not monkeys, but apes. Oh, and look at how much better DC is doing at admitting these things over at Newsarama:
"NRAMA: With friends like those, though… On a side note - Vixen's loss of her animal powers was an important element in Brad Meltzer's JLA run that, to date, hasn't been reversed or "fixed," Yet in this issue, she's clearly possessing the power of a gorilla. What gives?
Mike Carlin: I’d say that Jimmy is a fairly easy guy ta knock down... And Vixen was just imagining what she would do if she needed more strength to knock him down.
NRAMA: …
MC: Is yer B.S.-O-Meter going off...?
NRAMA: Er, yeah.
MC: Okay, it was probably a screw up.
Sean McKeever: I would say that we're seeing how Jimmy imagined things went down based on what he's being told. That’s how you lie to the fans, Carlini! Er, I mean..."
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THESE ARE BETTER, MORE LIKE THE ONES WORN IN FAME."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller) and/or Sean McKeever (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 16, Una is not wearing metal or similar material bracelets, she's now wearing obvious cloth bracelets.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BLACK HAIR MAKES ME LOOK MORE BADASS."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page as above, Karate Kid's hair is colored black, when it's brown.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE COLOR OF... SOMETHING."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 35 of 52.
CULPRIT: Scott Beatty (writer, The Origin Of Parallax backup story).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 22, green is referred to as the color of courage... when it's the color of willpower, according to current Green Lantern mythos.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE USE IT TO SEND LETTERS."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Adam Beechen (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 3, the Zeta Beam is referred to as a "communications beam", when it's, specifically, a teleportation beam.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE MATURES SLOWLY."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Eddy Barrows (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: I know that some (if not all) of Animal Man's Vertigo adventures are probably considered a separate continuity now that he's returned to superheroics; but do we need to de-age his kids? Maxine was about 7 or 8 towards the last time we saw her, and Cliff was around 12. Now they look like 3 and 8 respectively. Cliff could be 10 at most, maybe a childish looking 12 (particularly going by the fact that he tries to take a picture of a semi-naked Starfire to show a friend), but by page 18, he looks as short as Maxine, and his face makes him look 5. Then by page 19, panel one, Cliff looks about 10 years old, and by panel 2, he looks 12 again...
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, because of the age discrepancies inside this book.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T WEAR THE COLLAR TURNED UP, I WEAR IT TURNED OUTSIDE IN."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Eddy Barrows (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Just noticed this one while doing the one above; Cliff is wearing a collared shirt on page 18, but on page 19 he's wearing a regular t-shirt..
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NAH, LEAVE THEM ALONE."
TITLE: Countdown To Adventure.
ISSUE: 01 of 08.
CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer, Forerunner backup story).
NIT-TO-PICK: Forerunner's story, and the story of her race is told on this backup story, and the nine planets of Sol system gather an elite force to wipe them outs; nine of them survive, thinning the Forerunners from a thousand to a hundred. They are allowed to live, so they can submit to a peace accord. So, why didn't they send another force to wipe them out completely?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THEY'RE STILL IN THE LAUNDRY."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 549.
CULPRIT: Paul Pelletier (penciller) and Paul Mounts (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: The Thing and the Human Torch are still wearing the regular blue Fantastic Four uniforms, instead of the black ones they should be wearing, plus Johnny Storm's haircut and length is different than what it should be.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S A WEAPON TO REPEL OURSELVES."
TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.
ISSUE: 549.
CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 28, they refer to the Oditopians using a weapon to repel... the Oditopians, when it should say the Contrasepsis.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MAYBE SHE DID CHANGE THEM."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Jason Wright (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: The quality on this last issue dropped a bit, but it didn't sink as low as the first issue. Again, Grace's eyes are colored green. She usually wears violet contacts, but in Amazons Attack she had blue contacts, then green ones. I still consider this a nit, but I'm keeping it at only 5 Bazzars, since she might have had time to actually change them this time.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPINNING AROUND."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Marc Andreyko (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page nine, Diana changes into civilian clothes with the trademark spin... since when has she been able to do it in modern comics?
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, unless someone corrects me.
<-------------------------------->
"THAT TOO IS GONE."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Art Thibert (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Grace's tattoos are gone from her lower torso.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, she could have covered them with makeup.
<-------------------------------->
"GO AHEAD, TRY IT."
TITLE: The Mice Templar.
ISSUE: 01.
CULPRIT: Possibly Judy Glass & Will Swyer (editorial assistance, no actual editor is credited).
NIT-TO-PICK: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!! Sorry... the nit is not in the comic, but in the history of the making of the book at the end of the story. Look at this image below, and tell me if you can Spot The Nit!
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"LOVE GLOVE."
TITLE: Teen Titans V3.
ISSUE: 50.
CULPRIT: Rod Reis, Tom Smith & David Curiel (colorists) & Mike McKone (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page five, panel three, look at Robin's glove:
Why is it fingerless, and in the shape of a black plastic bag, when in the previous panel it was the appropriate green (this is his previous costume), with all fingers? Plus, not part of the nit, but that panel makes it look like Robin's talking when it's Wonder Girl's speech balloon. But never mind that.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"A MATTER OF SCALE."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Paco Díaz (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: The Department of Metahuman Affairs agents are once again shown wearing the scales of justice as their emblem, when that's just Nemesis' emblem.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DON'T WORK HERE."
TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Paco Diaz (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 22, panel one, an agent in the background is missing the emblem from his uniform.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I DECIDED TO GO BUSINESS CASSUAL."
TITLE: World War Hulk: X-Men.
ISSUE: 03 of 03 (and the previous issues too).
CULPRIT: Ed McGuinness (cover penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Besides being pointless, this could have been told in just one issue. Plus, it had the sappiest iteration of what I call the World War Hulk formula. What is the WWH formula? Easy: 1) Hulk threatens to smash, 2) character XYZ attempts to talk him down, 3) Hulk seems to listen, 4) Hulk either resists the attempts to talk him down, or was faking interest, 5) Hulk smashes XYZ and either captures or lets him/her go for some reason. In this case, Hulk beats the crap out of all X-teams assembled, and only lets them live after a sob story from Mercury. Yawn. Don't get me wrong, some of the crossovers and tie ins with WWH are fun (like Initiative), but most books are just being repetitive.
Oh, the nit.... yeah, sorry. On the cover, why the hell is Hulk wearing his usual purple-torn-pants-only "costume", instead of the gladiator getup he's sported so far? Fact, I just realized that he's not wearing his current costume on the covers to the other two issues, it wasn't that obvious because these were close-ups.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
That's it for this week, as far as nits go. Before telling you the average, let's see what the WTF?/DAYAMN! moment of the week was. It's a WTF? moment, and it was from Countdown. As I said, Manuel García's art for this book didn't reach Question condom mask levels, but still... is this Amalgam Superman/Squirrel Girl?
Ew! The average for this week, now that you ask, is 7.3 Bazzars, the highest in some time, since issue #31's 8.1. Let's see what next week brings us. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE NITPICKER!
Saturday, September 01, 2007
The Nitpicker #37.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"From the state of ridiculously tall and gorgeous amazons ith perfect skin. Alba-chusetts, West Jessicabiel-burg. Stupid Alba-chussets." Brenda Del Vecchio, Blue Beetle V7 #18.
"You know, I thought I'd have a lot more fun if I ever got to say this... That's no Moon..."Henry "Beast" McCoy, Astonishing X-Men V2 #22.
"Super-friction, Brainiac. Super-friction creates static electricity. Super-static-electricity creates... Shakkaboom. (...) My dream, my rules, you clockwork moron." Superman, Superman V1 #666.
Yes, the quote of the week is actually three quotes. Why? Because I say so, because they were all too cool to pass upon! Welcome to this week's Nitpicker, were I take the magnifying glass to last week's releases, and burn them like ants terrorized by a future psycho killer. With forty six nits in this issue, we've got some tasty morsels and a lot of collaborations from HNS members. I love getting reports of stuff I missed, or from books I don't normally read. So keep those e-mails and comments coming!
Speaking of HNS members, one of my most faithful readers, Miss Kitty Fantastico, is now reviewing comics and action figures in the minisite "Heroine Addict!", which should soon have a comment feature, so drop by and let MKF know what you think about the reviews. Let's get into the column proper by revealing last week's Spoooooooo... ok, I'm tired of doing that stupid TV announcer thing, let's just call it STN, ok? Last week's STN, as correctly spotted by Roy, was that the ring Black Canary's given by Green Arrow is ginormous, it looks like it would fit a large man, and when she holds it up to her eye, it's even larger, as if it was for the Hulk or the Thing! It was easy this week, so I'm glad somebody spotted it; Roy, you've earned yourself another HNS Badge!
You're probably wondering what the Nitpicker Picks Of The Week were, so I won't keep you guessing. Best book of the week was, without a doubt, Green Lantern Corps V2 #15, although this month's Blue Beetle was close. The Corps issue, part of the "Sinestro Corps War" event, was, after the special that sparked the war, the best comic so far in the story. Portraying the first part of the "Battle of Mogo"; we see Green Lanterns fight tooth and claw against the fear-wielding Sinestro Corpsmen; including face-offs between their respective drill instructors. Kilowog and Arkillo duke it out, and when the former taunts the jolly Green Lantern giant, asking "who cares about a few more dead?", Kilowog rises from under a pile of dead bodies (from both sides) and blasts the hell out of Arkillo (at least temporarily) with a resounding "I CARE!" The 'wog also verbally pwns his evil counterpart with stuff like "Before we talk about always, poozer, I'd just like 'ta see ya win once!", which almost made it to the quotes of the week.
Dave Gibbons gives this issue great pacing and dialogue, making this series more enjoyable (sometimes more than the solo Hal Jordan book) with each issue. Art-wise, Patrick Gleason and Angel Unzueta (pencillers) together with Prentis Rollins and Drew Geraci (inkers) deliver excellent work, as hard as it is to draw a gazillion Green Lanterns and still make it clear and beautiful, together with the masterful coloring of Guy Major (who probably depleted his greens... that is, if he was doing this with actual physical coloring tools). Let's not forget about Phil Balsman's lettering, who also manages to make the flow of the dialogue understandable when there are lots of characters on a page. A great issue on a wonderfully entertaining, if under-publicized and small, crossover event.
Well, now for the worst issue of the week... it's gotta be Superman #666, with that lame plot about a minor Kryptonian demon hitching a ride on Kal-El's rocket (or something like that, I refuse to read it again) to escape the planet's destruction, managing to gain the favor of some elder gods who govern a version of hell. Then, he draws Superman into some sort of dream sequence, to exploit his fear and anger, and have him rule the galaxy at his side, like his father before him... wait, no... Well, to have Superman experiment the evilness of killing people (he offs Lois, Luthor, and Brainiac, for example) to grow in power, and rule over yet-another-district-of-hell. Of course, since the Phantom Stranger had stopped by the Daily Planet earlier, and took off with Clark Kent, only to have that plot point completely dropped. At the end of the book we learn that the Stranger had created something like a shell of the real Superman, a corruptible outer layer of his being, to shield him in that hell, allowing Supes to burst out of that shell unblemished and defeat the demon (who, nevertheless, plants a seed of doubt in his mind).
Oh, and somebody please explain to me just why Aquaman and Animal Man feel the demon is coming for Superman. The plot is confusing (though I must admit to finding certain lines enjoyable, like the one above), and obviously a dream sequence, while the premise of Superman having doubts about himself is exactly the same as Busiek's story with Arion just a couple of months ago. He might be building up to something here, but this story was not enjoyable, and the art didn't help. This issue is pencilled and inked by Walt Simonson, who doesn't seem to be putting much effort into this fill-in issue. In fact, Simonson's art is actually made worse by the flat colors provided by Sinclair and Loughridge (no last names), who make a terrible attempt at being retro. Enough, let's go on to the meat and potatoes of this column, alright?
<-------------------------------->
"OHNOES, I'M A CRIMINAL NOW!"
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 543.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Suspicion on what happened to Aunt May starts to grow, and the police starts to investigate the incident; so Peter and MJ decide to move her out of the hospital she's in. But not before Pete has to knock out a police detective and handcuff him to a door. Internal monologue kicks in, and Pete regrets that "Up to this moment, my criminality was a point of legal technicalities. I'd skirted illegality (...)" Uuuuh... Pete... let's see, you're a Federal fugitive, who's helped break out prisoners from a Federal penitentiary, among several other felonies. Then he mulls over the fact that "This... you get sent to jail for.", disregarding the fact that he already assaulted (not so violently) a police officer a few issues ago, when he wanted to check out the place from with the Kingpin’s assassin had shot Aunt May. He forges hospital records, steals an ambulance, etc, and his internal monologue goes on about "Nine felony counts. Ten-year minimum per charge--equals a ninety-year prison term. Possibly life imprisonment." Pete, Pete, Pete... you've already done tons of stuff to get you life imprisonment, not to mention removal of your powers by Federal law.
On the same page, and not technically a nit, there's something I've probably ranted about before, and that Dominik B., aka Brecht, my editor in chief at ICS does consider a nit. Peter Parker lives in the Marvel Universe, where people have superpowers and supertechnology that allows them to fly, travel through time, lift buildings, etc, and there are also people with healing powers. Top of my head, I can remember Elixir (New X-Men), Angel (X-Men, currently Renegades), Dr. Strange (via magic), and probably Talisman (Omega Flight, by magic as well). There's also at least another handful of Marvel characters with the power to heal others, not to mention the fact that Dr. Strange is Peter's teammate, and so is Wolverine, obviously connected with the first to healers I mentioned. Hell, Elixir has brought people from near death, he recently rebuilt Prodigy's (New X-Men) heart!
Even if for some contrived reason none of these characters can heal May, Iron Fist, who is also Spidey's teammate, is a millionaire, and could probably have her in a private clinic with better care and no questions asked. Hell, Mr. Fantastic, who's helped Peter with the Mr. Hyde problems over at Sensational Spider-Man even after he went anti-reg, would probably help him, and he has the money and the resources to do so. Or maybe the Black Panther, whose friends with Luke Cage, another of Pete's teammates; not to mention being the husband of Storm, who... well, you get the picture, don't you?
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it's just a rant on inconsistent writing.
<-------------------------------->
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 22.
CULPRIT: John Cassaday (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 13. Beast.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Keep raking 'em up Johnny Boy!
<-------------------------------->
"MY, MY, HOW YOU'VE GROWN!!"
TITLE: Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious.
ISSUE: 01 of 02.
CULPRIT: Sam Kieth (writer/artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Meh. That's what this book's caused in me so far, it's readable, but nothing out of the ordinary. Only one nit, but a fairly big one; on page 48, the entity that possesses women (the one Lobo and Batman are fighting) tells her current host that she's "entering another orbit" and that her "body mass will change with it." Sam, it's your weight that changes with gravity, not your mass, since weight is a product of your mass times the gravity of the place you are in. For those of you who never paid attention in junior high physics, experiencing changes in your mass would mean that you actually grow or shrink. Colloquially, we refer to mass as "weight", but I'd never seen it the other way around.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLIVER QUEEN: MAN SKANK!"
TITLE: Birds Of Prey.
ISSUE: 109.
CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 14, Oracle and Black Canary are having a conversation, and the former is going over Oliver Queen's numerous dalliances with women, she says Connor (Hawke, Green Arrow II) is Ollie's child with "that ninja woman", meaning Shado, who is not Connor's mother. In fact, Black Canary actually confirms what Babs is saying, answering that "Shado (...) drugged him". Shado does have a son with Ollie, named Robert, who is a child (around six years old), while Connor's mother is a different woman, Sandra "Moonday" Hawke. Tony Bedard had, after somebody called him on it, the magnanimous gesture of confessing this was a "good old fashioned f*ck-up" his part, and added "Sorry." Apologies accepted, Tony, in your defense, this is an error that has been made before, namely, by Wizard Magazine and Judd Winick.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, even if Bedard admitted to the nit, you could no-prize it away with saying that Oracle was confused, and Canary didn't bother to correct her.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS SZUCKS!"
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer) and/or Pat Brosseau (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by Dominik B., aka Brecht (welcome to the HNS, Ensign Brecht, here's your first badge), and I'm surprised it got past me. On page seven, Blue Beetle tells Supergirl to "szuck on some Krypto-", instead of "suck".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, just a typo.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS GUY'S AN ANIMAL."
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: The scarab armor detects Lobo approaching, and Jamie wonders "... what the heck's a Lobo?", when Jamie should know "lobo" means "wolf" in Spanish, a pretty plausible name for a supervillain, particularly in Texas.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's a mild variation on my "other languages" pet peeve.
<-------------------------------->
"WELCOME, MY PUPILS."
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: Rafael Albuquerque (artist, pages 5-11, 14-22)
NIT-TO-PICK: On pages 15 and 17, Lobo's eyes are drawn with irises and pupils. His eyes are technically lacking in both things, but sometimes artists draw black dot-like pupils on his eyes for comedy purposes. In this case, however, it does seem to be a nit, considering his eyes are just plain red for most of the book, and only have pupils of the aforementioned style on page sixteen. Another nit spotted by Brecht.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BACKUP CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM."
TITLE: Cable & Deadpool.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Woooo boy! Brecht was on a roll this week! He pointed out the following nit on this book; which I don't usually read (funny book, though not something I need to read monthly). The book starts with Wolverine having just decapitated Deadpool (don't know if he did it last issue, or between issues), and he states that the-merc-currently-without-a-head has about twelve minutes before oxygen deprivation rots his brain. I find this a bit exaggerated, even for a character like Deadpool, who has a healing factor.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JUST PLAIN MARY."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 36 of 52.
CULPRIT: Jim Calafiore (penciller) and possibly Tony Bedard (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page seven, Mary Marvel (no, it's not her boots, don't be afraid) is studying under Zatanna's tutelage, and she's de-Marveled, wearing her street clothes, and even her "civilian hairstyle", and by the next page, she transforms without saying her magic word, plus, she has her wisdom power up, as evidenced by the fact that she is "reading languages that were ancient when Atlantis was founded), which amazes Zatanna. I would also like to point out to this conversation between Matt Brady and Mike Carlin over at Newsarama:
"NRAMA: Speaking of her larger transformation, we haven’t been with her 24/7 since she got the gift from Black Adam, but has she been plain "Mary" once since she acquired Black Adam's powers?
MC: Nope. No reason to be... Her super-powered self is on a quest... Nothing else matters at this point to her."
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, this would qualify as a combo nit, but I'm willing to let the transformation without magic word go, because it might be a hint at how powerful Mary is becoming, but her being in a de-Marveled state will not pass, particularly after Carlin confirms that she hasn't depowered since she got Black Adam's "package" (hehe).
<-------------------------------->
"GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS?"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 36 of 52 (The Origin Of Deathstroke The Terminator backup story).
CULPRIT: Tony Daniel (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Time to STN, look at this panel, number two from page 23, what's wrong? You already know who did it, now tell me what it was!
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHEN?"
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Dave Gibbons (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 2, while all Lanterns check their ring charges, the ring says their name and sector. Now, Kilowog hasn't been assigned to his home sector of 674 since the Guardians disbanded the GL Corps before Millennium, and lately, since the new Corps started, he's been training the rookies. He hasn't been patrolling or tending to his sector, and while they've never shown it, I assume there's a pair of GLs assigned to 674, since he's probably stationed permanently in Oa (and most likely, an Honor Guard member).
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it might just be reciting their home sectors, though why would it? There might be Lanterns assigned to a sector they're not native to.
<-------------------------------->
"WHEN?"
TITLE: The Invincible Iron Man (Director Of S.H.I.E.L.D.) V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Daniel & Charles Knauff (writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: Good story, but I'd appreciate if you could put a "this story happens after/before World War Hulk" caption.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KNEW IT! THAT'S NOT THE REAL BLACK BOLT! HULK'S BEEN PSYCHING US ALL ALONG!"
TITLE: The Irredeemable Ant-Man.
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Bill Crabtree & Val Staples (colorists).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, this is a book published about two months ago, I am aware of that. Thing is, I had caught this nit when I read the book, but I couldn't find any evidence to support my claim, so I dropped it. Point is, on page 6 of this issue, the infamous holographic projection of the Hulk showing the world what he did to Black Bolt is shown, as it was on most WWH tie-in books that month. The difference is that the angle here allows us to see some of Black Bolt's hair coming out a hole in his mask, and it's blonde. I haven't read many comics with the Inhumans in them, except lately, and I've never seen Black Bolt without his mask, but for some reason, I was pretty sure his hair wasn't blonde. Don't ask me why, but I was positive. Except I couldn't find any picture of him without his mask, nor any profile about him indicating his hair color. Until this month, when World War Hulk: Gamma Files was published, and his profile said his hair is black. Of course, now his profile at Marvel Universe says the same, wish it'd say so before.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. I don't feel like giving this a 10, it's not like Crabtree and Staples (sounds like a seventies rock band!) had a lot to work on when they colored that... I just wonder what possessed Phil Hester to draw that hair coming out of the mask.
<-------------------------------->
"FAKE ARROW."
TITLE: Justice League of America V2.
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 20, Red Tornado walks into Red Arrow's quarters (too many color named heroes in this team, dammit!) only to find him in bed with Hawkgirl (no, they're not wearing their costumes, but I gotta wonder, where the hell did Roy leave Lian? Locked in the closet?). In classic fashion, you can see Roy's bare chest, but Hawkgirl's covering herself (at least it's not with one of those weird L-shaped sheets beds seem to have in movies and TV, but with Arrow's costume shirt). Problem is, there is absolutely no trace of all the scars he should have.
Red arrow suffered multiple point-blank gunshot wounds (six, to be exact) at the hands of a Brother Blood sleeper agent; plus he should have a surgical scar running down his sternum. Yes, with all the technology the JLA has at their disposal, he could've had them removed, but I really doubt it; he'd keep them as battle trophies. On top of that, as Roy (from Dragon Comics, not Red Arrow himself) pointed out to me reporting a nit for next week's column, Roy Harper has a tattoo band around his left bicep, which isn't here either.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it was going to be an 8 if it was only the scars missing, but with the tattoo, you ranked it higher Ed!
<-------------------------------->
"AGAIN, THIS IS ONE OF MY SPARE UNIFORM SHIRTS, MY NEPHEW MADE IT IN PRESCHOOL ART CLASS."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Ugh, horrible art... but the particular nit bothering me in this case is the emblem on Flash I's costume. Look below, on the left, you see what Jay Garrick's costume looks like, with an upward-pointing lightning bolt that begins in his waistline. On the right, you see how Alex Sanchez (among other artists these days) have chosen to draw it:
Besides, Jay, what's Wildcat doing to Jay's ass that's got the speedster so happy? Or is that just the Speed Force in his pocket? To his credit, he's also quite happy on the other picture... even though his pants are usually portrayed as less spandex-ey than the usual superhero garb. Back to the lightning, Jay's costume started off with the free-standing, double-pointed bolt; which varied in size and exact shape, but as early as All Star Comics #30 (1946), he already had the one he sports on that image on the left. To Alex Sanchez defense, he's not the first artist to make this mistake, I did point it out a few columns back, in Justice Society of America #8; and I just noticed they did it too on the Countdown issue with Bart Allen's funeral.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, I'll keep it at that since Sanchez probably looked at the books I mentioned for reference.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M SORRY, BUT YOUR T-SPHERES ARE OUTSIDE THE AREA OF COVERAGE..."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and/or Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Why is Mr. Terrific, on page 14, calling Wildcat on what is obviously a regular cell phone, instead of a fancy-ass JSA communicator, or better yet, his nigh-omnipotent T-Spheres?
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'VE GOT SOME CONTRACTORS FIXING THE DAMAGE FROM THE LAST TIME SOMEBODY CRASHED THROUGH OUR CEILING."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and/or Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Why the hell is Stargirl wearing her mask inside the JSA headquarters, particularly when she's just wearing exercise clothes, and not her uniform?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DAMN, BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!"
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: From page 21 on, Mr. Terrific's mask is colored blue, when it's black.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars,
<-------------------------------->
"BLACKHOLE EYES."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Stargirl's eyes are colored black (no distinguishable pupils inside the iris, it's all one black circle), instead of blue.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FURRY OF THE WILDCAT... OR BEAR..."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Have you ever seen Wildcat, aka Ted Grant? Well, this is what his mask looks like:
And this is how Alex Sanchez decided Wildcat looks like:
Those are from two different pages; let me point out to begin that the mask doesn't even look the same in both images (there is no lower jaw in the second one, for example). The worst thing? The mask, especially in the leftmost picture, looks like a bear's head. And the guy's name is Wildcat.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, this is hideous.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, IT DOES RING A BELL..."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Terrific is puzzled by the word "Andvarinaut"; I found it with one simple Wikipedia search. It's a ring from Norse mythology, made famous by Richard Wagner's "The Ring of the Nibelung", and it may have been an inspiration for The Lord Of The Rings. The third smartest man in the world, as Mr. Terrific is billed, has at least fourteen Ph. D's, and has an ability described as "a natural aptitude for having natural aptitudes".This, among many other things, allows him to do perform emergency surgery for the first time, after reading about the procedure in a medical text book. Even if we can buy that he didn't know about the Andvarinaut (I'm of normal intelligence, and Andvarinaut ringed a bell), his T-Spheres could have located the information for him.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Knowing what a character can do is vital to writing a story with that character as the star.
<-------------------------------->
"BAD FORMULA."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and/or Robe Leigh (letterer)
NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by the keen eyes of a long time reader, Mean Jeff (welcome to the HNS Corps, Ensign, take this, it's your first badge), and it's about a book published a couple of weeks ago. I totally missed the fact that when Johnny and Jesse Quick use the former's speed formula, they recite it incorrectly. The formula is "3X2(9YZ)4A"; while in the book they use "3X2(94Z)4A". I should have spotted this one, given how I used to repeat it some ten years ago to see if it worked... Jeff claims that this is "about as important as knowing where to put the friggin' 'S' on Superman's costume", and while I disagree, it is kind of surprising that Geoff Johns made an error like this (perhaps it was just the letterer, who knows).
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, it's a typo, but it is an important part of the character you're writing about.
<-------------------------------->
"DAYMAN! THE SUPERHERO WITH A PARENTAL CURFEW!"
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 36.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Miss Kitty Fantastico (who, by the way guys, is a guy, not a lady) noticed that in the last section of our previous issue, "Dayamn" became "Dayman". Chalk it up to a typo, and then ignoring it when the spellchecker decided to call me on it. Here's another badge for ya, MKF.
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar guys, it's just a typo.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT DO THESE GUYS DO FOR A LIVING?"
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Just noticed this while going back to check some things... I left out the explanation of what the culprits did on two nits. They were writers in both cases, and from the text of the nit you could guess that, but still, those entries were not correctly referenced.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FISH UNDERWATER."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: G. Willow Wilson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This issue was as good as the previous one (Thunder & Martian Manhunter), though I didn't like the art as much, but it's just a personal preference, Josh Middleton did a very good job. I am, though, kind of annoyed of seeing Batman grow dickier and dickier with each passing issue of this mini. But I think that's the whole point, and I did like him see him regret not taking Aquaman as part of the team. Now, Aquaman (the current, young version, I really don't care to explain it) gets pulled into the water on page 10, and he says "You've just done me a huge favor. People call me Aquaman. Maybe you've heard of me. I'm the one with gills."
Uuh.... Aquaman does not possess gills, he never has, he's always had lungs capable of breathing underwater. DC Atlanteans, as opposed to the Marvel ones, don't have gills. This young Aquaman who's not quite an Atlantean (a mutagenic serum was used on him when he was three months old, and it might be related to the serum used by the Atlanteans after the sinking), might have gills, but... none are showing on his neck. He could be saying it metaphorically, but on page 24 he very literally complains that his "gills are clogged", yet no gills are ever seen on his neck, not even when he's underwater.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, CHECKMATE WILL HELP YOU NEGOTIATE A TRADE AGREEMENT."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: G. Willow Wilson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 29, Metamorpho says that Checkmate has agreed to step in and help Egypt, Libya, Sudan and Chad negotiate shared rights to the transboundary aquifer. What? Checkmate is an agency for policing superhumans, not for conducting peace accords and settling border disputes.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"UN-SECRET WEAKNESS."
TITLE: The Order.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This book is getting better; the first issue was readable, and this was actually good. Problem is, on page fifteen a journalist asks what happens when one of the team members gets drunk, the Order's publicists answers that "The introduction of any number of substances to the bloodstream (...) renders their powers unusable." Geez, does that mean that if a villain happens shoot them with a Jack Daniels dart, they'll loose their powers? And you just told the world in a press conference? Good job!
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S GOT DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!"
TITLE: Thunderbolts.
ISSUE: 116.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: I think I complained about this before, but I can't find it as a nit. In any case, page three shows a news report saying that American Eagle will not face charges for his activities as a unregistered superhuman, due to his status as a reservation-based Native American. I'm no expert in US law, but I wouldn't think Native American people from an Indian reservations are anything else than US citizens. From what I could find out, the reservations have limited sovereignty, and they have criminal jurisdiction over Indians committing crimes inside the reservation; but their jurisdiction over non Indians doing the same is usually disputed. This is mostly due to the Supreme Court's ruling in 1978, "Oliphant v. Suquamish Tribe of Indians", which states that tribes lack the inherent authority to arrest, try and convict non-Indians who commit crimes on their lands. Controversy apart, I am straying from the point
From all accounts I could find on the web (granted, I have no access to specialized law resources), all Indians born in the United States, or born of citizens who are outside the country at the time of birth, are American citizens, with all of the attendant rights and responsibilities; and any crime committed outside a reservation is jurisdiction of state or federal law, depending on the crime. The Registration Act, of course, is a federal law, and American Eagles crimes (including violation of the act and assault upon Federal Marshals) were committed outside a reservation. Therefore, everything points to there being no way that American Eagle wouldn't be prosecuted, unless there is a special dispensation in the Registration Act regarding Native American tribe members, which I highly doubt.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, it's not a 10 because nowhere has it been stated that there isn't a dispensation as discussed above.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T CALL THE POLICE, THEY'LL BE NO HELP."
TITLE: Thunderbolts.
ISSUE: 116.
CULPRIT: Mike Deodato Jr. (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: This is another nit reported by Mean Jeff, thanks man! In the last part of the issue, an black-clad superhuman calling himself Mindwave (no hyphen) violently expresses his disagreement with the Registration Act inside a police station. Using telekinesis (he says he's a "telekine", whatever happened to "telekinetic"?), he disassembles an officer's handgun in midair, with what Jeff describes as a "decent rendering of the Beretta 9mm". So Mindwave (no hyphen) then proceeds to lay waste to the station; only to be surrounded by the cops, who open fire with handguns (possibly the same Beretta model, or a similar weapon), Stopping the bullets in midair, Mindwave (no hyphen) splits them in half, and has them drop to the ground. The problem? Problems, actually. First, the slugs appear to have been fired with casings and all; second they don't have pointed ends (meaning they're blanks); and lastly, when they fall to the ground, you see the bullets' size relative to Mindwave's (no hyphen) boots: they look like rifle casings. So, they fire blanks, their weapons shoot casings (which should remain inside the weapon until ejected from the back before the next shot), and they fire rounds that are insanely large for the kind of guns they're using. To quote Jeff, "no wonder they need superheroes to help them out".
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN, AGAIN?"
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries, and David Hine (writer for Silent War).
NIT-TO-PICK: I can see the red alert going off at OHOTMU central now... don't worry guys, I won't pick on this book as I did on Civil War: Battle Damage Report. Why do I credit David Hine in this entry as well? Because this goes back to The Nitpicker #30, where I talked about Attilan being nearly destroyed in Silent War's ending, but still being standing in World War Hulk #1. That implies that either World War Hulk is before Silent War (and Black Bolt obviously survives), or that it's so far after it, that Attilan's been completely rebuilt.
Yet, on Black Bolt's profile, in the last paragraph, it says, and I quote "Choosing Black Bolt as the first to fall, the Hulk beat him into submission, had him fitted with a Sakaarian slave disc and forced him to battle his fellow "Illuminati." (...) Black Bolt led attacks to retrieve the Mists on Earth, then fought Terrigen-enhanced humans in Attilan, an attack that led to Attilan's near destruction. Though the Mists were returned, Maximus, with the inhumans (except for Black Bolt and Luna) in his thrall, ruled Attilan once again." Not only do they write sentences as long as some of mine, but this is one hell of a continuity wreck.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NAH, WE JUST DECOMISSIONED THEM."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: The book has a section with several pages containing short descriptions of characters and creatures that were deemed not important enough for their own profiles. On page eleven, a description of the Bannermen (gamma irradiated clone automatons, with adamantium and other enhancements) neglects to say that the creatures are now being used by The Order.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JUST LUMP 'EM ALL TOGETHER, NO ONE WILL CARE. NOT THE DOGS, THOUGH, THOSE ARE QUESADA'S FAVES."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, same short descriptions section, the Rhino and Sasquatch have to share a paragraph (even though the former gets just one line), along with X-Force (a government team unrelated to the mutant teams of the same name), Spider-Hulk and Kyle Hatcher (who received a blood transfusion from Banner, and has not mutated yet... geez, thanks Bruce, you give this guy blood, but not to Jim Wilson, so he wouldn't die of AIDS?). On the other hand, creatures like some gamma charged dogs get their own paragraph.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars,
<-------------------------------->
"OH, SO HE'S SMART AND ABLE TO CONTROL HIMSELF NOW? DIDN'T KNOW THAT..."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: A lengthy essay about the Hulk's multiple personalities and incarnations, such as Joe Fixit, Bruce Banner, or the Professor; but absolutely no mention is made of his current state (let's call it The Green Scarr, as his Warbound do). Whether it's a new personality, or just a state of being of one of them, the heightened intelligence and rage control this Hulk displays should be worth at least a passing mention.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPOILER ALERT!"
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: She-Hulk's profile on page thirty seven says at the end "Following the Hulk's defeat..." Please... enough with the spoilers, even if they're obvious ones!
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M A ROBOT, YOUR TELEPATHY CAN'T AF...BZZZZT!"
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Corps.
ISSUE: 02 of 04.
CULPRIT: Frank Tieri (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This book has been, so far, pretty much readable, if completely unessential. My first problem with this issue is that Prodigy uses his mental powers to disorient a robot, how? Perhaps the robot was not autonomous, and was controlled by a human operator, that gets it a low rating.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE NEED TO MARK THE ROOMS, OR WE WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND EACH PATIENT."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Corps.
ISSUE: 02 of 04.
CULPRIT: Carlos Ferreira (penciller) and/or Frank Tieri (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 21 shows us how Nichole Martin, aka Mess, was recruited fro the Gamma Corps. In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, her has a door with a large sign that reads "ICU Patient: NICHOLE MARTIN", as if it were announcing "WE SELL FISH BAIT" or something like that. Have the authors ever been to an ICU? Or to a hospital at all?
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEED GLASSES, WARREN?"
TITLE: X-Men: First Class V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Jeff Parker (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: I completely abhor this book, not only because of the inane attempts to make the original X-Men cool and modern, by having them play X-Box and have iPods; but because it should be under the Marvel Adventures banner, instead of quietly trying to pass it as a retcon. But I picked this issue because of the promising Marvel Girl & Scarlet Witch backup feature, which was fun. However, in the main story (which, granted, wasn't boring, but the aforementioned points still make me grind my teeth when I read it), on page seven, as the X-Men are attacked by some nocturnal creatures residents of Monster Island; Beast can see them, while Angel (who's supposed to have enhanced visual abilities), can't.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, Angel's enhanced eyesight is usually described as allowing him to see at greater distances, but I wouldn't put a slight degree of night vision beyond him.
<-------------------------------->
"I HATE TO THING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN BED..."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: The cover... rarely do we have nits on the cover... but in this case, courtesy of Ramos' hypermanganized style, each of Colossus arms is the size of Shadowcat, plus they are the same length as his legs. Again, on page five, he's got arms the size of Kitty.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, and didn't Ramos use to be able to draw feet?
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S CONTACT LENSES, THEY MAKE ME LOOK LESS OF A FREAK."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Colossus's eyes have irises and pupils on the cover, when he's in armored form, so they should be plain silver, and blank.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT? IF I'M GONNA WEAR CONTACTS, THEN I CAN CHOOSE THE COLOR!"
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Studio F's Edgar Delgado (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: If you're going to draw complete eyes on an armored Colossus, don't color them brown, when his eyes in human form are blue.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE BOUGHT THE CONTACT LENSES WHOLESALE."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Studio F's Edgar Delgado (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Shadowcat's eyes are again colored blue on the cover and page five, but brown on pages 21/22.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, because they can't even keep it consistent within one issue.
<-------------------------------->
"AH BEEN PRACTICIN' MAH YANKEE."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Cannonball loses his accent for a moment on page 4, saying "I", instead of his usual southern "Ah". Didn't I say Brecht was on a roll? He spotted this one as well.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FRIENDS WILL BE FRIENDS!"
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 11, Cannonball refers to Cable as "my best friend"... what? While he's friends with Cable, and considers him a mentor and teacher as much as he does Professor X, I wouldn't say he's his best friend.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STANDING TALL, LIKE A COLOSSUS."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Please Humberto, pay attention to character sizes!!! A 6'2" Rockslide, on page 27, looks about two feet shorter than a 6'6" unarmored Colossus.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S LOVE, ALL THE SAME."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 29, Gambit calls Rogue "chere" instead of "chére".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"HIGH-MAINTENANCE GIRL."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Gambit's use of the word chére without the word "ma" before it, makes it seems as if he's calling her "expensive" instead of "my dear". By the way, these two nits were discovered by Brecht, since he is from la Suisse (though from the Schweiz side).
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Before we finish this week's column, let's get it into our newest feature, the WTF? or DAYAMN! moment of the week... moments, this week, same as happened with the quotes. They're both DAYAMN, and the first one proves that even horrible books can have cool moments. Watch Superman kill Lex Luthor with one Silver Age-y power I'd like him to use more often, the superloogie:
Wow, the bald prick did have it coming, didn't he? After that spit, Brainiac confronts him, and the Man of Steel answers with the quote you can see at the beginning of this column. And now, watch someone whose current incarnation was introduced as a prick, but has grown on me in just a couple of issues. I'm talking about Tenzil Kem, usually known as Matter-Eater Lad, and how he deals with those who dare threaten him:
Even after you've eaten an entire silo's worth of grain (and not unloaded it anywhere), there's still space for some quick snacks. Yes, he actually chomped off Mekt Ranzz' finger, before remarking that it's "rude to point". I tell you, this Tenzil Kem is badass. You know who else is badass? I am, and that's why this column ends here, right after I tell you that this week's average was a regular 6.4 Bazzars. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE NITPICKER!
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"From the state of ridiculously tall and gorgeous amazons ith perfect skin. Alba-chusetts, West Jessicabiel-burg. Stupid Alba-chussets." Brenda Del Vecchio, Blue Beetle V7 #18.
"You know, I thought I'd have a lot more fun if I ever got to say this... That's no Moon..."Henry "Beast" McCoy, Astonishing X-Men V2 #22.
"Super-friction, Brainiac. Super-friction creates static electricity. Super-static-electricity creates... Shakkaboom. (...) My dream, my rules, you clockwork moron." Superman, Superman V1 #666.
Yes, the quote of the week is actually three quotes. Why? Because I say so, because they were all too cool to pass upon! Welcome to this week's Nitpicker, were I take the magnifying glass to last week's releases, and burn them like ants terrorized by a future psycho killer. With forty six nits in this issue, we've got some tasty morsels and a lot of collaborations from HNS members. I love getting reports of stuff I missed, or from books I don't normally read. So keep those e-mails and comments coming!
Speaking of HNS members, one of my most faithful readers, Miss Kitty Fantastico, is now reviewing comics and action figures in the minisite "Heroine Addict!", which should soon have a comment feature, so drop by and let MKF know what you think about the reviews. Let's get into the column proper by revealing last week's Spoooooooo... ok, I'm tired of doing that stupid TV announcer thing, let's just call it STN, ok? Last week's STN, as correctly spotted by Roy, was that the ring Black Canary's given by Green Arrow is ginormous, it looks like it would fit a large man, and when she holds it up to her eye, it's even larger, as if it was for the Hulk or the Thing! It was easy this week, so I'm glad somebody spotted it; Roy, you've earned yourself another HNS Badge!
You're probably wondering what the Nitpicker Picks Of The Week were, so I won't keep you guessing. Best book of the week was, without a doubt, Green Lantern Corps V2 #15, although this month's Blue Beetle was close. The Corps issue, part of the "Sinestro Corps War" event, was, after the special that sparked the war, the best comic so far in the story. Portraying the first part of the "Battle of Mogo"; we see Green Lanterns fight tooth and claw against the fear-wielding Sinestro Corpsmen; including face-offs between their respective drill instructors. Kilowog and Arkillo duke it out, and when the former taunts the jolly Green Lantern giant, asking "who cares about a few more dead?", Kilowog rises from under a pile of dead bodies (from both sides) and blasts the hell out of Arkillo (at least temporarily) with a resounding "I CARE!" The 'wog also verbally pwns his evil counterpart with stuff like "Before we talk about always, poozer, I'd just like 'ta see ya win once!", which almost made it to the quotes of the week.
Dave Gibbons gives this issue great pacing and dialogue, making this series more enjoyable (sometimes more than the solo Hal Jordan book) with each issue. Art-wise, Patrick Gleason and Angel Unzueta (pencillers) together with Prentis Rollins and Drew Geraci (inkers) deliver excellent work, as hard as it is to draw a gazillion Green Lanterns and still make it clear and beautiful, together with the masterful coloring of Guy Major (who probably depleted his greens... that is, if he was doing this with actual physical coloring tools). Let's not forget about Phil Balsman's lettering, who also manages to make the flow of the dialogue understandable when there are lots of characters on a page. A great issue on a wonderfully entertaining, if under-publicized and small, crossover event.
Well, now for the worst issue of the week... it's gotta be Superman #666, with that lame plot about a minor Kryptonian demon hitching a ride on Kal-El's rocket (or something like that, I refuse to read it again) to escape the planet's destruction, managing to gain the favor of some elder gods who govern a version of hell. Then, he draws Superman into some sort of dream sequence, to exploit his fear and anger, and have him rule the galaxy at his side, like his father before him... wait, no... Well, to have Superman experiment the evilness of killing people (he offs Lois, Luthor, and Brainiac, for example) to grow in power, and rule over yet-another-district-of-hell. Of course, since the Phantom Stranger had stopped by the Daily Planet earlier, and took off with Clark Kent, only to have that plot point completely dropped. At the end of the book we learn that the Stranger had created something like a shell of the real Superman, a corruptible outer layer of his being, to shield him in that hell, allowing Supes to burst out of that shell unblemished and defeat the demon (who, nevertheless, plants a seed of doubt in his mind).
Oh, and somebody please explain to me just why Aquaman and Animal Man feel the demon is coming for Superman. The plot is confusing (though I must admit to finding certain lines enjoyable, like the one above), and obviously a dream sequence, while the premise of Superman having doubts about himself is exactly the same as Busiek's story with Arion just a couple of months ago. He might be building up to something here, but this story was not enjoyable, and the art didn't help. This issue is pencilled and inked by Walt Simonson, who doesn't seem to be putting much effort into this fill-in issue. In fact, Simonson's art is actually made worse by the flat colors provided by Sinclair and Loughridge (no last names), who make a terrible attempt at being retro. Enough, let's go on to the meat and potatoes of this column, alright?
<-------------------------------->
"OHNOES, I'M A CRIMINAL NOW!"
TITLE: Amazing Spider-Man.
ISSUE: 543.
CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Suspicion on what happened to Aunt May starts to grow, and the police starts to investigate the incident; so Peter and MJ decide to move her out of the hospital she's in. But not before Pete has to knock out a police detective and handcuff him to a door. Internal monologue kicks in, and Pete regrets that "Up to this moment, my criminality was a point of legal technicalities. I'd skirted illegality (...)" Uuuuh... Pete... let's see, you're a Federal fugitive, who's helped break out prisoners from a Federal penitentiary, among several other felonies. Then he mulls over the fact that "This... you get sent to jail for.", disregarding the fact that he already assaulted (not so violently) a police officer a few issues ago, when he wanted to check out the place from with the Kingpin’s assassin had shot Aunt May. He forges hospital records, steals an ambulance, etc, and his internal monologue goes on about "Nine felony counts. Ten-year minimum per charge--equals a ninety-year prison term. Possibly life imprisonment." Pete, Pete, Pete... you've already done tons of stuff to get you life imprisonment, not to mention removal of your powers by Federal law.
On the same page, and not technically a nit, there's something I've probably ranted about before, and that Dominik B., aka Brecht, my editor in chief at ICS does consider a nit. Peter Parker lives in the Marvel Universe, where people have superpowers and supertechnology that allows them to fly, travel through time, lift buildings, etc, and there are also people with healing powers. Top of my head, I can remember Elixir (New X-Men), Angel (X-Men, currently Renegades), Dr. Strange (via magic), and probably Talisman (Omega Flight, by magic as well). There's also at least another handful of Marvel characters with the power to heal others, not to mention the fact that Dr. Strange is Peter's teammate, and so is Wolverine, obviously connected with the first to healers I mentioned. Hell, Elixir has brought people from near death, he recently rebuilt Prodigy's (New X-Men) heart!
Even if for some contrived reason none of these characters can heal May, Iron Fist, who is also Spidey's teammate, is a millionaire, and could probably have her in a private clinic with better care and no questions asked. Hell, Mr. Fantastic, who's helped Peter with the Mr. Hyde problems over at Sensational Spider-Man even after he went anti-reg, would probably help him, and he has the money and the resources to do so. Or maybe the Black Panther, whose friends with Luke Cage, another of Pete's teammates; not to mention being the husband of Storm, who... well, you get the picture, don't you?
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it's just a rant on inconsistent writing.
<-------------------------------->
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 22.
CULPRIT: John Cassaday (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 13. Beast.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Keep raking 'em up Johnny Boy!
<-------------------------------->
"MY, MY, HOW YOU'VE GROWN!!"
TITLE: Batman/Lobo: Deadly Serious.
ISSUE: 01 of 02.
CULPRIT: Sam Kieth (writer/artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Meh. That's what this book's caused in me so far, it's readable, but nothing out of the ordinary. Only one nit, but a fairly big one; on page 48, the entity that possesses women (the one Lobo and Batman are fighting) tells her current host that she's "entering another orbit" and that her "body mass will change with it." Sam, it's your weight that changes with gravity, not your mass, since weight is a product of your mass times the gravity of the place you are in. For those of you who never paid attention in junior high physics, experiencing changes in your mass would mean that you actually grow or shrink. Colloquially, we refer to mass as "weight", but I'd never seen it the other way around.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"OLIVER QUEEN: MAN SKANK!"
TITLE: Birds Of Prey.
ISSUE: 109.
CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 14, Oracle and Black Canary are having a conversation, and the former is going over Oliver Queen's numerous dalliances with women, she says Connor (Hawke, Green Arrow II) is Ollie's child with "that ninja woman", meaning Shado, who is not Connor's mother. In fact, Black Canary actually confirms what Babs is saying, answering that "Shado (...) drugged him". Shado does have a son with Ollie, named Robert, who is a child (around six years old), while Connor's mother is a different woman, Sandra "Moonday" Hawke. Tony Bedard had, after somebody called him on it, the magnanimous gesture of confessing this was a "good old fashioned f*ck-up" his part, and added "Sorry." Apologies accepted, Tony, in your defense, this is an error that has been made before, namely, by Wizard Magazine and Judd Winick.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, even if Bedard admitted to the nit, you could no-prize it away with saying that Oracle was confused, and Canary didn't bother to correct her.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS SZUCKS!"
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer) and/or Pat Brosseau (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by Dominik B., aka Brecht (welcome to the HNS, Ensign Brecht, here's your first badge), and I'm surprised it got past me. On page seven, Blue Beetle tells Supergirl to "szuck on some Krypto-", instead of "suck".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar, just a typo.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS GUY'S AN ANIMAL."
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: The scarab armor detects Lobo approaching, and Jamie wonders "... what the heck's a Lobo?", when Jamie should know "lobo" means "wolf" in Spanish, a pretty plausible name for a supervillain, particularly in Texas.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it's a mild variation on my "other languages" pet peeve.
<-------------------------------->
"WELCOME, MY PUPILS."
TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.
ISSUE: 18.
CULPRIT: Rafael Albuquerque (artist, pages 5-11, 14-22)
NIT-TO-PICK: On pages 15 and 17, Lobo's eyes are drawn with irises and pupils. His eyes are technically lacking in both things, but sometimes artists draw black dot-like pupils on his eyes for comedy purposes. In this case, however, it does seem to be a nit, considering his eyes are just plain red for most of the book, and only have pupils of the aforementioned style on page sixteen. Another nit spotted by Brecht.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BACKUP CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM."
TITLE: Cable & Deadpool.
ISSUE: 44.
CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Woooo boy! Brecht was on a roll this week! He pointed out the following nit on this book; which I don't usually read (funny book, though not something I need to read monthly). The book starts with Wolverine having just decapitated Deadpool (don't know if he did it last issue, or between issues), and he states that the-merc-currently-without-a-head has about twelve minutes before oxygen deprivation rots his brain. I find this a bit exaggerated, even for a character like Deadpool, who has a healing factor.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JUST PLAIN MARY."
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 36 of 52.
CULPRIT: Jim Calafiore (penciller) and possibly Tony Bedard (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page seven, Mary Marvel (no, it's not her boots, don't be afraid) is studying under Zatanna's tutelage, and she's de-Marveled, wearing her street clothes, and even her "civilian hairstyle", and by the next page, she transforms without saying her magic word, plus, she has her wisdom power up, as evidenced by the fact that she is "reading languages that were ancient when Atlantis was founded), which amazes Zatanna. I would also like to point out to this conversation between Matt Brady and Mike Carlin over at Newsarama:
"NRAMA: Speaking of her larger transformation, we haven’t been with her 24/7 since she got the gift from Black Adam, but has she been plain "Mary" once since she acquired Black Adam's powers?
MC: Nope. No reason to be... Her super-powered self is on a quest... Nothing else matters at this point to her."
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, this would qualify as a combo nit, but I'm willing to let the transformation without magic word go, because it might be a hint at how powerful Mary is becoming, but her being in a de-Marveled state will not pass, particularly after Carlin confirms that she hasn't depowered since she got Black Adam's "package" (hehe).
<-------------------------------->
"GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS?"
TITLE: Countdown.
ISSUE: 36 of 52 (The Origin Of Deathstroke The Terminator backup story).
CULPRIT: Tony Daniel (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Time to STN, look at this panel, number two from page 23, what's wrong? You already know who did it, now tell me what it was!
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHEN?"
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.
ISSUE: 15.
CULPRIT: Dave Gibbons (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 2, while all Lanterns check their ring charges, the ring says their name and sector. Now, Kilowog hasn't been assigned to his home sector of 674 since the Guardians disbanded the GL Corps before Millennium, and lately, since the new Corps started, he's been training the rookies. He hasn't been patrolling or tending to his sector, and while they've never shown it, I assume there's a pair of GLs assigned to 674, since he's probably stationed permanently in Oa (and most likely, an Honor Guard member).
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it might just be reciting their home sectors, though why would it? There might be Lanterns assigned to a sector they're not native to.
<-------------------------------->
"WHEN?"
TITLE: The Invincible Iron Man (Director Of S.H.I.E.L.D.) V2.
ISSUE: 21.
CULPRIT: Daniel & Charles Knauff (writers).
NIT-TO-PICK: Good story, but I'd appreciate if you could put a "this story happens after/before World War Hulk" caption.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I KNEW IT! THAT'S NOT THE REAL BLACK BOLT! HULK'S BEEN PSYCHING US ALL ALONG!"
TITLE: The Irredeemable Ant-Man.
ISSUE: 10.
CULPRIT: Bill Crabtree & Val Staples (colorists).
NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, this is a book published about two months ago, I am aware of that. Thing is, I had caught this nit when I read the book, but I couldn't find any evidence to support my claim, so I dropped it. Point is, on page 6 of this issue, the infamous holographic projection of the Hulk showing the world what he did to Black Bolt is shown, as it was on most WWH tie-in books that month. The difference is that the angle here allows us to see some of Black Bolt's hair coming out a hole in his mask, and it's blonde. I haven't read many comics with the Inhumans in them, except lately, and I've never seen Black Bolt without his mask, but for some reason, I was pretty sure his hair wasn't blonde. Don't ask me why, but I was positive. Except I couldn't find any picture of him without his mask, nor any profile about him indicating his hair color. Until this month, when World War Hulk: Gamma Files was published, and his profile said his hair is black. Of course, now his profile at Marvel Universe says the same, wish it'd say so before.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. I don't feel like giving this a 10, it's not like Crabtree and Staples (sounds like a seventies rock band!) had a lot to work on when they colored that... I just wonder what possessed Phil Hester to draw that hair coming out of the mask.
<-------------------------------->
"FAKE ARROW."
TITLE: Justice League of America V2.
ISSUE: 12.
CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 20, Red Tornado walks into Red Arrow's quarters (too many color named heroes in this team, dammit!) only to find him in bed with Hawkgirl (no, they're not wearing their costumes, but I gotta wonder, where the hell did Roy leave Lian? Locked in the closet?). In classic fashion, you can see Roy's bare chest, but Hawkgirl's covering herself (at least it's not with one of those weird L-shaped sheets beds seem to have in movies and TV, but with Arrow's costume shirt). Problem is, there is absolutely no trace of all the scars he should have.
Red arrow suffered multiple point-blank gunshot wounds (six, to be exact) at the hands of a Brother Blood sleeper agent; plus he should have a surgical scar running down his sternum. Yes, with all the technology the JLA has at their disposal, he could've had them removed, but I really doubt it; he'd keep them as battle trophies. On top of that, as Roy (from Dragon Comics, not Red Arrow himself) pointed out to me reporting a nit for next week's column, Roy Harper has a tattoo band around his left bicep, which isn't here either.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, it was going to be an 8 if it was only the scars missing, but with the tattoo, you ranked it higher Ed!
<-------------------------------->
"AGAIN, THIS IS ONE OF MY SPARE UNIFORM SHIRTS, MY NEPHEW MADE IT IN PRESCHOOL ART CLASS."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Ugh, horrible art... but the particular nit bothering me in this case is the emblem on Flash I's costume. Look below, on the left, you see what Jay Garrick's costume looks like, with an upward-pointing lightning bolt that begins in his waistline. On the right, you see how Alex Sanchez (among other artists these days) have chosen to draw it:
Besides, Jay, what's Wildcat doing to Jay's ass that's got the speedster so happy? Or is that just the Speed Force in his pocket? To his credit, he's also quite happy on the other picture... even though his pants are usually portrayed as less spandex-ey than the usual superhero garb. Back to the lightning, Jay's costume started off with the free-standing, double-pointed bolt; which varied in size and exact shape, but as early as All Star Comics #30 (1946), he already had the one he sports on that image on the left. To Alex Sanchez defense, he's not the first artist to make this mistake, I did point it out a few columns back, in Justice Society of America #8; and I just noticed they did it too on the Countdown issue with Bart Allen's funeral.
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, I'll keep it at that since Sanchez probably looked at the books I mentioned for reference.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M SORRY, BUT YOUR T-SPHERES ARE OUTSIDE THE AREA OF COVERAGE..."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and/or Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Why is Mr. Terrific, on page 14, calling Wildcat on what is obviously a regular cell phone, instead of a fancy-ass JSA communicator, or better yet, his nigh-omnipotent T-Spheres?
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'VE GOT SOME CONTRACTORS FIXING THE DAMAGE FROM THE LAST TIME SOMEBODY CRASHED THROUGH OUR CEILING."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer) and/or Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Why the hell is Stargirl wearing her mask inside the JSA headquarters, particularly when she's just wearing exercise clothes, and not her uniform?
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DAMN, BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!"
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: From page 21 on, Mr. Terrific's mask is colored blue, when it's black.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars,
<-------------------------------->
"BLACKHOLE EYES."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Same page, Stargirl's eyes are colored black (no distinguishable pupils inside the iris, it's all one black circle), instead of blue.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FURRY OF THE WILDCAT... OR BEAR..."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Alex Sanchez (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Have you ever seen Wildcat, aka Ted Grant? Well, this is what his mask looks like:
And this is how Alex Sanchez decided Wildcat looks like:
Those are from two different pages; let me point out to begin that the mask doesn't even look the same in both images (there is no lower jaw in the second one, for example). The worst thing? The mask, especially in the leftmost picture, looks like a bear's head. And the guy's name is Wildcat.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, this is hideous.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, IT DOES RING A BELL..."
TITLE: JSA: Classified.
ISSUE: 29.
CULPRIT: Arvid Nelson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Mr. Terrific is puzzled by the word "Andvarinaut"; I found it with one simple Wikipedia search. It's a ring from Norse mythology, made famous by Richard Wagner's "The Ring of the Nibelung", and it may have been an inspiration for The Lord Of The Rings. The third smartest man in the world, as Mr. Terrific is billed, has at least fourteen Ph. D's, and has an ability described as "a natural aptitude for having natural aptitudes".This, among many other things, allows him to do perform emergency surgery for the first time, after reading about the procedure in a medical text book. Even if we can buy that he didn't know about the Andvarinaut (I'm of normal intelligence, and Andvarinaut ringed a bell), his T-Spheres could have located the information for him.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Knowing what a character can do is vital to writing a story with that character as the star.
<-------------------------------->
"BAD FORMULA."
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.
ISSUE: 08.
CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and/or Robe Leigh (letterer)
NIT-TO-PICK: This one was spotted by the keen eyes of a long time reader, Mean Jeff (welcome to the HNS Corps, Ensign, take this, it's your first badge), and it's about a book published a couple of weeks ago. I totally missed the fact that when Johnny and Jesse Quick use the former's speed formula, they recite it incorrectly. The formula is "3X2(9YZ)4A"; while in the book they use "3X2(94Z)4A". I should have spotted this one, given how I used to repeat it some ten years ago to see if it worked... Jeff claims that this is "about as important as knowing where to put the friggin' 'S' on Superman's costume", and while I disagree, it is kind of surprising that Geoff Johns made an error like this (perhaps it was just the letterer, who knows).
NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, it's a typo, but it is an important part of the character you're writing about.
<-------------------------------->
"DAYMAN! THE SUPERHERO WITH A PARENTAL CURFEW!"
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 36.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Miss Kitty Fantastico (who, by the way guys, is a guy, not a lady) noticed that in the last section of our previous issue, "Dayamn" became "Dayman". Chalk it up to a typo, and then ignoring it when the spellchecker decided to call me on it. Here's another badge for ya, MKF.
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar guys, it's just a typo.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT DO THESE GUYS DO FOR A LIVING?"
TITLE: The Nitpicker.
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Just noticed this while going back to check some things... I left out the explanation of what the culprits did on two nits. They were writers in both cases, and from the text of the nit you could guess that, but still, those entries were not correctly referenced.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FISH UNDERWATER."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: G. Willow Wilson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This issue was as good as the previous one (Thunder & Martian Manhunter), though I didn't like the art as much, but it's just a personal preference, Josh Middleton did a very good job. I am, though, kind of annoyed of seeing Batman grow dickier and dickier with each passing issue of this mini. But I think that's the whole point, and I did like him see him regret not taking Aquaman as part of the team. Now, Aquaman (the current, young version, I really don't care to explain it) gets pulled into the water on page 10, and he says "You've just done me a huge favor. People call me Aquaman. Maybe you've heard of me. I'm the one with gills."
Uuh.... Aquaman does not possess gills, he never has, he's always had lungs capable of breathing underwater. DC Atlanteans, as opposed to the Marvel ones, don't have gills. This young Aquaman who's not quite an Atlantean (a mutagenic serum was used on him when he was three months old, and it might be related to the serum used by the Atlanteans after the sinking), might have gills, but... none are showing on his neck. He could be saying it metaphorically, but on page 24 he very literally complains that his "gills are clogged", yet no gills are ever seen on his neck, not even when he's underwater.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YEAH, CHECKMATE WILL HELP YOU NEGOTIATE A TRADE AGREEMENT."
TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.
ISSUE: 04 of 05.
CULPRIT: G. Willow Wilson (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 29, Metamorpho says that Checkmate has agreed to step in and help Egypt, Libya, Sudan and Chad negotiate shared rights to the transboundary aquifer. What? Checkmate is an agency for policing superhumans, not for conducting peace accords and settling border disputes.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"UN-SECRET WEAKNESS."
TITLE: The Order.
ISSUE: 02.
CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This book is getting better; the first issue was readable, and this was actually good. Problem is, on page fifteen a journalist asks what happens when one of the team members gets drunk, the Order's publicists answers that "The introduction of any number of substances to the bloodstream (...) renders their powers unusable." Geez, does that mean that if a villain happens shoot them with a Jack Daniels dart, they'll loose their powers? And you just told the world in a press conference? Good job!
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"HE'S GOT DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!"
TITLE: Thunderbolts.
ISSUE: 116.
CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: I think I complained about this before, but I can't find it as a nit. In any case, page three shows a news report saying that American Eagle will not face charges for his activities as a unregistered superhuman, due to his status as a reservation-based Native American. I'm no expert in US law, but I wouldn't think Native American people from an Indian reservations are anything else than US citizens. From what I could find out, the reservations have limited sovereignty, and they have criminal jurisdiction over Indians committing crimes inside the reservation; but their jurisdiction over non Indians doing the same is usually disputed. This is mostly due to the Supreme Court's ruling in 1978, "Oliphant v. Suquamish Tribe of Indians", which states that tribes lack the inherent authority to arrest, try and convict non-Indians who commit crimes on their lands. Controversy apart, I am straying from the point
From all accounts I could find on the web (granted, I have no access to specialized law resources), all Indians born in the United States, or born of citizens who are outside the country at the time of birth, are American citizens, with all of the attendant rights and responsibilities; and any crime committed outside a reservation is jurisdiction of state or federal law, depending on the crime. The Registration Act, of course, is a federal law, and American Eagles crimes (including violation of the act and assault upon Federal Marshals) were committed outside a reservation. Therefore, everything points to there being no way that American Eagle wouldn't be prosecuted, unless there is a special dispensation in the Registration Act regarding Native American tribe members, which I highly doubt.
NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, it's not a 10 because nowhere has it been stated that there isn't a dispensation as discussed above.
<-------------------------------->
"DON'T CALL THE POLICE, THEY'LL BE NO HELP."
TITLE: Thunderbolts.
ISSUE: 116.
CULPRIT: Mike Deodato Jr. (artist).
NIT-TO-PICK: This is another nit reported by Mean Jeff, thanks man! In the last part of the issue, an black-clad superhuman calling himself Mindwave (no hyphen) violently expresses his disagreement with the Registration Act inside a police station. Using telekinesis (he says he's a "telekine", whatever happened to "telekinetic"?), he disassembles an officer's handgun in midair, with what Jeff describes as a "decent rendering of the Beretta 9mm". So Mindwave (no hyphen) then proceeds to lay waste to the station; only to be surrounded by the cops, who open fire with handguns (possibly the same Beretta model, or a similar weapon), Stopping the bullets in midair, Mindwave (no hyphen) splits them in half, and has them drop to the ground. The problem? Problems, actually. First, the slugs appear to have been fired with casings and all; second they don't have pointed ends (meaning they're blanks); and lastly, when they fall to the ground, you see the bullets' size relative to Mindwave's (no hyphen) boots: they look like rifle casings. So, they fire blanks, their weapons shoot casings (which should remain inside the weapon until ejected from the back before the next shot), and they fire rounds that are insanely large for the kind of guns they're using. To quote Jeff, "no wonder they need superheroes to help them out".
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN, AGAIN?"
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries, and David Hine (writer for Silent War).
NIT-TO-PICK: I can see the red alert going off at OHOTMU central now... don't worry guys, I won't pick on this book as I did on Civil War: Battle Damage Report. Why do I credit David Hine in this entry as well? Because this goes back to The Nitpicker #30, where I talked about Attilan being nearly destroyed in Silent War's ending, but still being standing in World War Hulk #1. That implies that either World War Hulk is before Silent War (and Black Bolt obviously survives), or that it's so far after it, that Attilan's been completely rebuilt.
Yet, on Black Bolt's profile, in the last paragraph, it says, and I quote "Choosing Black Bolt as the first to fall, the Hulk beat him into submission, had him fitted with a Sakaarian slave disc and forced him to battle his fellow "Illuminati." (...) Black Bolt led attacks to retrieve the Mists on Earth, then fought Terrigen-enhanced humans in Attilan, an attack that led to Attilan's near destruction. Though the Mists were returned, Maximus, with the inhumans (except for Black Bolt and Luna) in his thrall, ruled Attilan once again." Not only do they write sentences as long as some of mine, but this is one hell of a continuity wreck.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NAH, WE JUST DECOMISSIONED THEM."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: The book has a section with several pages containing short descriptions of characters and creatures that were deemed not important enough for their own profiles. On page eleven, a description of the Bannermen (gamma irradiated clone automatons, with adamantium and other enhancements) neglects to say that the creatures are now being used by The Order.
NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"JUST LUMP 'EM ALL TOGETHER, NO ONE WILL CARE. NOT THE DOGS, THOUGH, THOSE ARE QUESADA'S FAVES."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, same short descriptions section, the Rhino and Sasquatch have to share a paragraph (even though the former gets just one line), along with X-Force (a government team unrelated to the mutant teams of the same name), Spider-Hulk and Kyle Hatcher (who received a blood transfusion from Banner, and has not mutated yet... geez, thanks Bruce, you give this guy blood, but not to Jim Wilson, so he wouldn't die of AIDS?). On the other hand, creatures like some gamma charged dogs get their own paragraph.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars,
<-------------------------------->
"OH, SO HE'S SMART AND ABLE TO CONTROL HIMSELF NOW? DIDN'T KNOW THAT..."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: A lengthy essay about the Hulk's multiple personalities and incarnations, such as Joe Fixit, Bruce Banner, or the Professor; but absolutely no mention is made of his current state (let's call it The Green Scarr, as his Warbound do). Whether it's a new personality, or just a state of being of one of them, the heightened intelligence and rage control this Hulk displays should be worth at least a passing mention.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SPOILER ALERT!"
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Files.
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of the multiple writers not individually credited for the entries.
NIT-TO-PICK: She-Hulk's profile on page thirty seven says at the end "Following the Hulk's defeat..." Please... enough with the spoilers, even if they're obvious ones!
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M A ROBOT, YOUR TELEPATHY CAN'T AF...BZZZZT!"
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Corps.
ISSUE: 02 of 04.
CULPRIT: Frank Tieri (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: This book has been, so far, pretty much readable, if completely unessential. My first problem with this issue is that Prodigy uses his mental powers to disorient a robot, how? Perhaps the robot was not autonomous, and was controlled by a human operator, that gets it a low rating.
NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE NEED TO MARK THE ROOMS, OR WE WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND EACH PATIENT."
TITLE: World War Hulk: Gamma Corps.
ISSUE: 02 of 04.
CULPRIT: Carlos Ferreira (penciller) and/or Frank Tieri (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Page 21 shows us how Nichole Martin, aka Mess, was recruited fro the Gamma Corps. In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, her has a door with a large sign that reads "ICU Patient: NICHOLE MARTIN", as if it were announcing "WE SELL FISH BAIT" or something like that. Have the authors ever been to an ICU? Or to a hospital at all?
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEED GLASSES, WARREN?"
TITLE: X-Men: First Class V2.
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Jeff Parker (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: I completely abhor this book, not only because of the inane attempts to make the original X-Men cool and modern, by having them play X-Box and have iPods; but because it should be under the Marvel Adventures banner, instead of quietly trying to pass it as a retcon. But I picked this issue because of the promising Marvel Girl & Scarlet Witch backup feature, which was fun. However, in the main story (which, granted, wasn't boring, but the aforementioned points still make me grind my teeth when I read it), on page seven, as the X-Men are attacked by some nocturnal creatures residents of Monster Island; Beast can see them, while Angel (who's supposed to have enhanced visual abilities), can't.
NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, Angel's enhanced eyesight is usually described as allowing him to see at greater distances, but I wouldn't put a slight degree of night vision beyond him.
<-------------------------------->
"I HATE TO THING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN BED..."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: The cover... rarely do we have nits on the cover... but in this case, courtesy of Ramos' hypermanganized style, each of Colossus arms is the size of Shadowcat, plus they are the same length as his legs. Again, on page five, he's got arms the size of Kitty.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, and didn't Ramos use to be able to draw feet?
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S CONTACT LENSES, THEY MAKE ME LOOK LESS OF A FREAK."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Colossus's eyes have irises and pupils on the cover, when he's in armored form, so they should be plain silver, and blank.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHAT? IF I'M GONNA WEAR CONTACTS, THEN I CAN CHOOSE THE COLOR!"
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Studio F's Edgar Delgado (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: If you're going to draw complete eyes on an armored Colossus, don't color them brown, when his eyes in human form are blue.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WE BOUGHT THE CONTACT LENSES WHOLESALE."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Studio F's Edgar Delgado (colorist).
NIT-TO-PICK: Shadowcat's eyes are again colored blue on the cover and page five, but brown on pages 21/22.
NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, because they can't even keep it consistent within one issue.
<-------------------------------->
"AH BEEN PRACTICIN' MAH YANKEE."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Cannonball loses his accent for a moment on page 4, saying "I", instead of his usual southern "Ah". Didn't I say Brecht was on a roll? He spotted this one as well.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FRIENDS WILL BE FRIENDS!"
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 11, Cannonball refers to Cable as "my best friend"... what? While he's friends with Cable, and considers him a mentor and teacher as much as he does Professor X, I wouldn't say he's his best friend.
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"STANDING TALL, LIKE A COLOSSUS."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).
NIT-TO-PICK: Please Humberto, pay attention to character sizes!!! A 6'2" Rockslide, on page 27, looks about two feet shorter than a 6'6" unarmored Colossus.
NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S LOVE, ALL THE SAME."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: On page 29, Gambit calls Rogue "chere" instead of "chére".
NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"HIGH-MAINTENANCE GIRL."
TITLE: X-Men V2.
ISSUE: 202.
CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer) and/or VC's Cory Petit (letterer).
NIT-TO-PICK: Gambit's use of the word chére without the word "ma" before it, makes it seems as if he's calling her "expensive" instead of "my dear". By the way, these two nits were discovered by Brecht, since he is from la Suisse (though from the Schweiz side).
NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Before we finish this week's column, let's get it into our newest feature, the WTF? or DAYAMN! moment of the week... moments, this week, same as happened with the quotes. They're both DAYAMN, and the first one proves that even horrible books can have cool moments. Watch Superman kill Lex Luthor with one Silver Age-y power I'd like him to use more often, the superloogie:
Wow, the bald prick did have it coming, didn't he? After that spit, Brainiac confronts him, and the Man of Steel answers with the quote you can see at the beginning of this column. And now, watch someone whose current incarnation was introduced as a prick, but has grown on me in just a couple of issues. I'm talking about Tenzil Kem, usually known as Matter-Eater Lad, and how he deals with those who dare threaten him:
Even after you've eaten an entire silo's worth of grain (and not unloaded it anywhere), there's still space for some quick snacks. Yes, he actually chomped off Mekt Ranzz' finger, before remarking that it's "rude to point". I tell you, this Tenzil Kem is badass. You know who else is badass? I am, and that's why this column ends here, right after I tell you that this week's average was a regular 6.4 Bazzars. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE NITPICKER!
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