Friday, August 28, 2009

The Dissector #130.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Georgie Porgie is naught but a breathing transport for Georgie Porgie's pudding, which seeks out peculiar quim and holes in young bucks trousers with the snuffling alacrity of a Provençal truffle pig." Percy Shelley, about Lord Byron, Frankenstein's Womb.

Welcome the column for comics released on 08/19; trying to stay on top of deadlines... The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was, and I'm sorry Amazing Spider-Man, you were close, Atomic Robo And the Shadow From Beyond Time. Atomic Robo (sorry, Dr. Atomic Robo Tesla) teaming up with Carl Sagan is just priceless. Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance #4... nonsense plot keeps getting worse.

A close runner-up for Worst Book was the Hellblazer graphic novel "Dark Entries"... first quarter of the book is pretty good, with John Constantine investigating some supernatural mumbo jumbo on a Big Brother meets Haunted Mansion reality show... which turns out to be a reality show with dead people (who don't know they're dead) in a section of hell which reminds you of Mojoworld... yawn...

The Dissect This! was cracked (for the third time in a row) by JohnnyDoe; who spotted that Geoff Johns had written "afflication" instead of "affliction". Badge for him. He also spotted an error I hadn't noticed, and one on my own work (see below for both).
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"PESKY GRAVITY."

TITLE: Adventure Comics (DC Comics).

ISSUE: 504.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Starman's powers are described as "gravity manipulation", when he actually manipulates the density and mass of objects. Similar effects, different methods. Badge for JohnnyDoe.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"THIS-ECT THIS AND THIS-ECT THAT."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 131.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I credited JohnnyDoe for cracking the DT! last week, but I said it was because of Krypto's gender, and that had been the week before. Last week's DT! was about the prosthetic hand on a character on "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly", which was colored and drawn as a normal hand in one panel, and then correctly the next one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Yet another badge for you, JD, keep raking them in.
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"FRANKSTEIN'S TYPESETTER."

TITLE: Frankenstein's Womb (Avatar).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer) and/or non-credited letterer.

DISSECTION: Psst, it's "Provençal", not "Provencal".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"Закон средних."

TITLE: G.I. Joe Origins (IDW).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: Don't have the resources or time to check all the Russian or Uzbek in the issue, but knowing Chuck Dixon, and the disaster he made of Spanish and French in "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly" (see column #128), I'm being benign if I just default it to three language errors in this book.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each. Am I being unjust? I don't think so, it's the law of averages... and I'm being lenient.
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"DISSECTNEXT."

TITLE: GeNext United (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Looks like Chris can't keep his nose clean for too long. Dissect me this, please:


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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"LIKE AN ANDROID'S BUM."

TITLE: Punisher: Frank Castle MAX (Marvel).

ISSUE: 73.

CULPRIT: Goran Parlov (artist).

DISSECTION: Frank has absolutely no scars on his body? In his MAX book? I don’t buy it. Particularly when his hillbilly paramour says she likes his "muscles and scars"

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, colorist Lee Loughridge gives Frank green eyes.
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"REFLECTING IN YOUR BIG BLUE EYES."

TITLE: Star Trek: Spock: Reflections (IDW).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Ilaria Traversi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Spock's eyes are colored blue. Come on, Ilaria, just watch a Star Trek episode!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"TINY UN-RANT."

TITLE: Tiny Tyrant: The Ethelbertosaurus (First Second).

ISSUE: One-shot (apparently).

CULPRIT: Lewis Trondheim (writer) and/or unknown editor.

DISSECTION: Ah, tanjit, I can't consider what I found a dissection. But this book was a fun read, so I recommend it.

DISSECT-O-METER: N/A.
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"OH, MON PETIT CORY!"

TITLE: X-Factor V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 47.

CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: How cliché to have the "é" in that word be too small.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"JE T'ADORE, CORY!"

TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).

ISSUE: 227.

CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: Same thing, but in the word "chére". Pretty much a given when Gambit is around.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars,
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Meh, nothing too exciting, huh? On the other hand, it made for a faster writing of this column. This week's column had an average of 6.7 Bazzars in twelve dissections, higher than lately... Okay, The Cover Of The Week is...


Ex Machina #44. Pulp jacket? Check. Pulp goggles? Check. Steampunk cog? Check. Yeah, I'm easy. Thanks, Tony Harris and company. Now, the Moments Of The Week. First up, a familiar crew goes to the movies, and the slickest ladies man in Caltech hits on Power Girl:


... with predictable results. Then, Atomic Robo geeks it out:



Dammit, Robo, can't you see a bug is about to jump you? Who we gonna call?



CARL SAGAN! Hehe. Then, a historical moment in Archiestory:


Poor Betty! But fear not, here comes Jughead:


... he goes for the rebound... and MISSES!!! Last up, taking a page from The West Wing:


The president of the USA in New Earth, DCU is Hispanic. Nice. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

2 comments:

JohnnyDoe said...

I'm gonna say that the DT! for this week is that even though it looks like it's a modern train it is portaited as having a steam engine locomotive (which it clearly doesn't). Am I close?

And in the correction about when I got my promotion you wrote "but I said it was because of Krypto's gender" but it was actually Streaky's gender that was wrong.

MaGnUs said...

You got that right, it's a diesel engine and they show it having someone shoveling coal...

And dammit, you're right about that other mistake I made... LEAVE ME ALONE!!! *goes to cry in a corner*