The Dissector

The Dissector #170.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Oh, and it's not a ghost. It's a perturbation of consciousness in a previously unknown incorporeal medium." Dr. Atomic Robo Tesla, about Undead Edison, Atomic Robo And The Revenge Of The Vampire Dimension #4.

Late again, I know, but cut me a break... I'm sad because my vacation is at an end, I go back to work next Monday! Last week's DT! was cracked by David, who earns himself another badge. In the picture I showed, how the hell is Superman carrying Lois Lane? I mean... is she all tensed up, in some sort of super-gymnast pose?!?!

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo And The Revenge Of The Vampire Dimension #4... even without any vampires. It features the return of Edison... or the first appearance of Undead Edison (or Undeadison, as I like to call him), and it's the usual perfect mix of humor, pulp, scifi, and just plain good comic book-ery.

Worst Book Of The Week? Heralds #5... last issue of the mini; a story that could have been told in a one-shot, but instead was rammed down our throats one issue a week, and according to Tom Brevoort, the writer and the artists were very ahead in the work, enough to publish it weekly. Yeah... so, apart from the cookie-cutter plot, how do you explain these:



I'll allow for artists not drawing every single face in background characters (but not when one character gets a face, and the one next to that one doesn't), but this is too much. How can those panels be called anything but half-assed? I normally enjoy Kathryn Immonen's work, and Tonci Zonjic's art is good, but this... I don't know. Oh, yeah, I know... it sucks.

The Rundown: Abe Sapien: The Abyssal Plain (translated from "the" Russian?), The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: American Son (Norman's eyes), Angel Negro Especial ("protejer" instead of "proteger"), Astonishing X-Men (Storm's eyes shouldn't be blank if she's not using her powers), Doomwar (wrong military rank for Jim Rhodes), Ghost Projekt (if the Russian characters are talking in Russian, why are they constructing broken sentences?), Invincible Iron Man (Mandarin's eyes should be blue, not green, and why does the obviously Chinese director have green eyes?), Iron Man: Kiss And Kill (Tony Stark drinking booze willingly after he's gone sober? And his middle name is "Edward", not "Edwards"), Joker's Asylum II: Clayface (ridiculous cape and bat ears), Justice League Of America V2 (wrong shape for Alan Scott's lantern), Justice Society Of America V3 (Captain Nazi's medals again, plus they announce JLA #44 for next month), The New Avengers: Luke Cage (Danielle Cage), Prince Of Persia: Before The Sandstorm (accented letter), Spider-Ham 25th Anniversary Special (the cover says "Anniversay"), Thor V1 (accented letters, Wonder Woman V1 (accented letter, and Cassandra Cain acting like she's Stephanie Brown), X-Campus (Caldecott County is not in Georgia, it's in Mississippi; Wolverine's eyes are green in the comic, but blue in the next issue preview), X-Men: Curse Of the Mutants Saga (Weapon Plus was a US project, but Weapon X was an offshoot with US funds, but Canadian management, not just US).
<-------------------------------->
"ONE, TO, THREE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 169.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: David noticed that I wrote "two", instead of "to", when I dissected Green Lantern Corps... another badge for him.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Snakebyte also noticed that I forgot to put a volume number in LSH for the dissections, then I wrote "Mon-El's detailed" instead of "Mon-El's is detailed"; and I also changed the name of X-Men: Second Coming to "X-Men: Second Calling".
<-------------------------------->
"IRON MAN: KISS AND DISSECT."

TITLE: Iron Man: Kiss And Kill (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Karl Kesel (writer).

DISSECTION: What's wrong here?


DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, why is Tony Stark, even undercover, drinking alcohol willingly, in a story that's obviously set in modern times, when he's sober?
<-------------------------------->
"MARZAL: OUT OF THIS WORLD."

TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).

DISSECTION: Sidney noticed that Tyroc's homeworld is listed as "Marzal", when Marzal is an island on Earth (dimensionally shifted, yes, but still on Earth).

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Badge for Sidney, one more and you make Lt. Commander.
<-------------------------------->
"IDENTITY CRISIS."

TITLE: The New Avengers V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Stuart Immonen (penciller).

DISSECTION: With Clint Barton in his Hawkeye costume, Immonen decided to add Ronin in there for good measure. Tom Brevoort admitted to the error, and said they tried to remove all Ronin's from the pictures before printing, but they missed one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE FAMOUS VULCAN ELBOW PINCH."

TITLE: Star Trek: Burden Of Knowledge (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).

DISSECTION: Spock attempts to render one of the muppet-bird aliens unconscious, but their physiology is not similar to the usual humanoid types. According to Spock "... this race lacks a discernible shoulder necessary for the nerve pinch..." SHOULDER??!?!!? It's the Vulcan NECK pinch!!! (Or nerve pinch, I know.)

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS RADIO HAS STATIC."

TITLE: Teen Titans V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 84.

CULPRIT: Felicia D. Henderson (writer).

DISSECTION: Trying to find Raven in a mystical dimension, the Teen Titans need to come up with a plan. Static Shock, who apparently can generate radio waves (plausible), wants to bounce waves all over the area, to find objects that give a "radio ping" different to the dimension's standard. Okay, I can go with that... but why does he need Kid Flash to generate a vortex by moving his hand in circles to make his radio waves travel? And if he can hear radio waves (as he's done in his comics and TV show), why does he need Superboy to fly up and listen to them? Come to think of it, how is Superboy talking to him, trying to tell him something he doesn't want Wonder Girl to hear, if she's less than two meters from Static Shock?

What?

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
What a low average! 5.5 Bazzars in forty-one dissections... pretty low. Okay, let's end this thing quick... Cover Of The Week goes to Flash #3:


By Greg Horn, amazingly, it's not traced porn... or it's a very weird sexual position... Now, Moments Of The Week... first, the kind of stuff I love about Atomic Robo:


UNDEADISON!!! Then, speaking of mad scientists and their descendants:


Not ringing a bell? Well, it seems that Captain Swing (Jonathan Rheinhardt) seems to be an ancestor of Doktor Sleepless (John Reinhardt). There might be a typo in Swing’s name, but I’ll let it slide, as some names are spelled different, specially when someone emigrates to another country. Next, Lobo has some fun;


And great fun it is. But he eventually leaves Earth, and he took a souvenir:


Oh, shit... that's one of the scariest things I've seen in comics in a long time.... Now, from a very off-beat comic I picked up last week, Werewolves Of Montpellier:


It wasn't at all what I expected (I expected French Victorian werewolves, to be honest), but it was entertaining, and it had this very Seinfield moment. And last, while I didn't expect much from X-Campus, I certainly didn't expect this:


Magneto, turned into a tinted-glassed, soul-patched douche.... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!