DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
"Zombie Vs Zombie!" Only one can survive! Though technically, NEITHER HAS! Swee, Everybody's Dead #4.
Well, here I am. Still trying to catch up; this is the column for comics released on 08/13, and we inch a bit closer to... well, comics are still coming out, so nothing. Last column's DT! was spotted by The Guvnor, and it was indeed the fact that Wolverine's eyes are supposed to be blue, not brown. The Dissector's Picks Of The Week? Short and simple, Best Book Of The Week was Atomic Robo: The Dogs Of War #1; WWII and Atomic Robo? YES! Worst book of the week was The Last Defenders #6; a boring end to a boring mini. Now, read them dissections:
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"I DON'T KNOW WHAT DATE IT IS ANYMORE!"
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 87.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: First things first! Or rather, in alphabetical order. I said last column that it was the first column for the month of July, when I of course meant August, since it was about comics published on 08/06.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, just to show you I'm not soft on myself.
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"ZOMBIE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT."
TITLE: Everybody's Dead (IDW Publishing).
ISSUE: 05 of 05.
CULPRIT: Brian Lynch (writer) and/or Chris Mowry (letterer).
DISSECTION: Great final issue, almost was Best Book Of The Week. For some reason, Zombie Mosby says "cu it ou" instead of "cut it out"; something not consistent with his zombie speech patterns.
DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"KEEPIN' IT CASUAL."
TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).
ISSUE: 27.
CULPRIT: Luke Ross (penciller).
DISSECTION: Soranik Natu is missing her GL emblem in a panel.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"WATCHIE THISIE!"
TITLE: Green Arrow/Black Canary (DC)
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).
DISSECTION: Again, the Italian assassin shows he's not really Italian. He says "osservi" to mean "look"; but it actually means "looking".
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"HE'S A SKRULL!!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Inhumans (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Guru FX (colorist).
DISSECTION: Black Bolt's hair is colored light brown, instead of black as it should be.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"ANOTHER SKRULL!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers (Marvel).
ISSUE: 02 of 03.
CULPRIT: Christina Strain (colorist).
DISSECTION: CeeCee! After all the trouble you went through to tell us how Victor's eyes were green, you go and colored them brown?
DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, and it's not higher because I know you just made honest-to-Galactus mistake here, or someone sabotaged your colors.
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"MORE SKRULLS!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion: X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 01 of 04.
CULPRIT: Cary Nord (artist).
DISSECTION: Colossus in his unarmored form is drawn too big compared to other characters. Also, thanks to Dominik (who makes Lieutenant Commander in the HDSC), who checked the German in Nightcrawler's dialogues and found it wrong, in two counts, as I thought. I might not speak German, but I can sure be suspicious of writers...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"OHMAGAUZAEMOARSKRULLZ!!!"
TITLE: Secret Invasion (Marvel).
ISSUE: 05 of 08.
CULPRIT: Laura Martin & Emily Warren (colorists).
DISSECTION: Clint Barton's eyes are colored brown, when they should be (as with 99% of comic book characters) blue.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"HE'S WEARING MAKE-UP."
TITLE: Trinity (DC).
ISSUE: 11.
CULPRIT: Mark Bagley (penciller).
DISSECTION: Red Arrow is missing his tattoo on his right bicep, and the armband he usually has to conceal it. So actually, this is two dissections.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the tattoo.
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"DISSECTION ORIGINS."
TITLE: X-Men Origins: Jean Grey (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Mike Mayhew (artist).
DISSECTION: Spot me this one...
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"COLOMBIA: LESS OF A COUNTRY THAN BARATARIA."
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: Apart from all the language dissections (Spanish, as well as English and French too!), there's an historical one. Yes, I know this is an alternate history, but still, some things are just mistakes. Jean Lafitte says he's a privateer certified by the state of Colombia. In the moment this story happens (young Diego de la Vega returns to California), there is no such thing as "the state of Colombia". Lafitte had a letter of marque from Cartagena de Indias; today a city part of Colombia, but in that time an independent state.
The name "Colombia" was coined by was conceived by the Francisco de Miranda as a reference to all the New World, especially to those territories under Spanish and Portuguese rule. The name was only adopted by what we know today as Colombia in 1819, when the Republic of Colombia was formed.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Still, "yarr!" for pirates (because "yay" is not very pirate-y), since it was TLAPD recently. Happy Talk Like Pirate Day, mateys!
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"SORRO."
TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).
ISSUE: 06.
CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).
DISSECTION: There's seventeen language dissections in this issue; one in English, one in French, and the rest in Spanish. The worst one in Spanish (the rest are tildes and the like) is writing grandmother as "abulea" instead of "abuela".
Speaking of Zorro; while researching the previous dissection, I found out that Zorro Productions, Inc., thinks that it's Dynamic Forces that's making the comic, instead of Dynamite Entertainment. I've e-mailed both companies (Zorro and Dynamite), to let them know.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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Thirty-one dissections gives us an average of 6.7 Bazzars, figured it'd be around that. Now, the Moments Of The Week! First up, Booster might be the world's greatest hero, but he still can't help himself:
Heh! Then, robots in flip-flops and swimming trunks, who can resist!
I want those flip-flops... Next, a new joint opens in Oa:
It's Warriors, space edition! And last, Professor X is a creepy, dirty old man:
Remember when he would mope about his romantic feelings for Jean Grey, who not only was his student, but had also been his patient, and less than half his age? Yeah, ew. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...
THE DISSECTOR!
4 comments:
DT! has already been cracked; the Xavier mansion looks nothing like it should.
Aren't you the adorable nerd.
Wanna also point out the time I colored Nico's powers green instead of red?
Or the time I missed coloring Molly's shirt and left it white?
Thanks for being that guy.
Cause really we need more of you in comics.
Whoa; Christina, I'm really sorry that you feel that way (although thanks for checking out my column); it's not my intention to insult you, in fact, I urge you to read the disclaimer linked at the top of each of my columns.
Let me quote it here for you: " This column and its author do not aim to insult the creators and editors hereby mentioned, or to belittle the work they do. It is written partially in-character, as The Dissector is a semi-fictitious persona that, for all his similarities with the writer, is considerably less tolerant than the real MaGnUs is. And although the sarcastic, and even sometimes sardonic tone of the writing might belie it, MaGnUs (and even his evil alter ego, The Dissector), have nothing but the utmost respect for said creators and editors, and a deep appreciation for the hard work they do."
Please allow me to reinforce two concepts: 1) That I have absolute respect for the work creators and editors do (in fact, Runaways is one of my favorite books since it came out, and that's in part thanks to your work), and 2) That the column is written partially in character, and that it's not fair that I take full heat for what The Dissector says, the same way, say, Brian K. Vaughan can't be accused of human sacrifice just because The Pride did so in the original Runaways book. I know it's a bit harder to see in my case, since my column is written by a "semi-ficticious persona"; but again, I assure you that I hold nothing but appreciation, respect, and in many cases, admiration for the people who make the comics I read.
My apologies if I offended you, and thank you for reading.
Comments originally posted on ICS.net, right after the column was posted:
Nick S.: First things first! Or rather, in alphabetical order. I said last column that it was the first column for the month of July, when I of course meant August, since it was about comics published on 08/06.
I don't get credit for that one because...?
And for the Dissect This!, that's an incorrect layout of the X-Mansion. In every other appearance there were just simple steps up to the door, not this winding fountainy thing.
Dominik B.: "Eggsaviour" doesn't live in the White House?
Also, I don't get "The Big W" What's the W standing for?
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: Whoops Snake, I forgot. Will credit you next time, greedy one. You do spot correctly that the Xavier Mansion looks nothing like it should, not just the layout, but the whole "White House" look, like Dom says.
And Dom, Guy Gardner (together with Kyle Rayner) have re-opened "Warriors", his old bar, but now in Oa. W is for Warriors.
Dominik B.: So Guy's a honour-guard-Lantern / Superhero on Earth/ Barkeeper? Yeah, I'd fit all that plus dating Ice and all that into 24 hours every day too...
Martín "MaGnUs" Pérez: What, you don't multitask?
Also, Christina Strain provided some explanation to her reaction here.
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