Friday, January 29, 2010

The Dissector #147.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


"Jesus, it's huge. ... I have never said that sentence before in my life. In fact, being a boat, it's both huge and full of seamen. ... You know, I'm starting to wonder if they've got a little bit of a point when they call me crazy." Anna Mercury, Anna Mercury 2 #3.

I love being on time; welcome to the column for comics issued on 01/20. There is still time to vote for the 2009 Autopsy Awards; I know I have more regular readers than the very few that have voted, so please do vote. Speaking of awards, let me give Lt. Donald313 another badge, since he correctly pointed out that the DT! last week was that Vixen cannot take on the mass of the animals whose powers she mimics. That's not how her powers work.

Let me tell you The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book was Power Girl #8; this is just a fun read, with great art. Palmiotti, Gray and Conner are doing a great job; not to leave out colorist Mounts (hehe) and letterer Hill. Worst Book Of The Week was Dark Avengers #13; I despise The Sentry, right from his hoax of a real world origin, to how lame he is, so an issue dedicated entirely to him bores me to tears.

Here's The Rundown, reasonably short: Black Widow And The Marvel Girls (the Widow's eyes should be green), Dark Avengers (Norman's eyes are wrong, and the Thing "skin" is made of rocks like four or five times bigger than they usually are), Hulk V3 (Reed Richards' eyes are wrong), The Incredible Hulk V1 (Bruce Banner's eyes, as well as Doctor Doom's, are wrong; and Latveria is called a "principality"; when Doom does not hold the title of "prince", nor any of the other conditions for calling the place a "principality" apply), Realm Of Kings: Inhumans (Vulcan's hair is colored brown), Star Trek: Deep Space: Nine Fool's Gold (Kira's earring is wrong, her eyes are wrong, and Bashir's rank is wrong), Superman/Batman (inexplicably, two word balloons have a part missing... no words missing, though), Web Of Spider-Man V2 (accented letters). Dissections? Yes, of course!

TITLE: Batman: Streets Of Gotham (DC).

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Mike Benson (writer) and/or Dustin Nguyen (penciller).

DISSECTION: Batman (Dick Grayson) goes undercover to a fetish club posing as a millionaire (well, another one), and he has Alfred drive him; and open the door of the limousine. While Dick could be wearing some make-up, Alfred is not, and Bruce Wayne's butler is recognizable in Gotham.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars. Also, Two-Face and Kate Spencer get their eyes colored incorrectly.

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 146.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Emerre noticed that I wrote "Gail Simon" instead of "Gail Simone". My bad.


TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Patrick Gleason (penciller).

DISSECTION: Now, I've bitched and bitched about incorrect Green Lantern badges... and now Kyle Rayner's badge is not even symmetrical.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Ring and badge errors galore, too.

TITLE: Nova V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Bruno Hang (colorist).

DISSECTION: Namorita reminisces about her early life:


TITLE: Spider-Woman V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 05.


DISSECTION: Spider-Woman is thrown off a rooftop, and she can't do anything to stop her fall; even though there's cables, other windows, etc... She basically has Spider-Man's powers, clings to walls, is inhumanly agile, etc... yet she falls and is unconscious for two days, without any mention of someone drugging her. I just don't buy it.


TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 520.

CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).

DISSECTION: We get it, Wolverine has amazingly keen senses... but I will not accept that he can track a prey by smell from the top of a building in NEW YORK CITY, A 468.9 SQUARE MILES, 1,214.4 SQUARE KILOMETERS, 8,363,710 CITY INHABITANTS, AND 19,006,798 METRO AREA POPULATION CITY!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Not only does he track his prey (a Predator X) to a SEWER, but he knows that Fantomex (who carries no scent) is there because he smelled, and I quote, "a you-shaped hole in the smell of this dump". Fraction, Logan has a very acute sense of smell, not an echolocation device in his nostrils.
6.2 Bazzars in twenty-seven dissections? Regular. Now I'm going to show you... THE COVER OF THE WEEK!!!

Beautiful cover by Mike Wolfer; which sums up what this book, Gravel, is about: underneath Britain's regal magic exterior, there is rusty clockwork and things are burning. Moments Of The Week, we have a few. First, Mogo shows us how to dispose of Black Lanterns:

I like how writers come up with alternate methods to get rid of Black Lanterns, even in books with people wearing power rings. I still don't like how characters like the Ray and Halo, even if for a limited time, can affect them. Speaking of Brit mages:

HE'S NOT SMOKING SILK CUTS ANYMORE!?!?!!?!? GOOD GOD, WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO!?!???! Next moment is nothing overly shocking, but it does show the funny atmosphere of Power Girl's book:

There's an obvious difference. Now, Moonstone gets...

Of course, it's ridiculous... And Hank Pym shows us why he's Earth Scientist Supreme:

Because he knows every science, including PSYCHology. Speaking of mastering stuff...

I'm scared... Last, this was kind of inappropriate in an all-ages book, and a strip probably aimed at teens:

Yes, the best way to make someone get thinner is by forcing them to puke...

That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...


Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Dissector #146.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


01/06-"Everyone should ride in the trunk of a car at least once in their lives. Not that it's some profound rite of passage or an impetus to a great epiphany... it's just that I'd hate to think I was the only schmuck that ever had to do it." Dingo, Dingo #2.

01/13-"When a blackout happens, most people's first thought is, "Better light a candle." Mine is, "How many alarm systems just went offline?"" Catwoman, Catwoman #83.

COME ON PEOPLE!!! I know I have more readers, so go vote on the 2009 Autopsy Awards! Now that that's out of the way, this is the column for books released on the weeks of 01/06 and 01/13; still trying to catch up. If I can have the one for 01/20 ready for next Friday, I'll be caught up.

Last column's DT! was spotted by J. Corbin; who correctly pointed out that "Pinocchio" is spelled incorrectly in the book on Supergirl's desk. Did I mention you need to vote on the Autopsy Awards? And that you can give out this url: for people to go and read the nominations? Oh, okay.

Best Book Of The Week for 01/06 was Suicide Squad #67; one of DC's undead titles for the Blackest Night skip month. It was good to have John Ostrander, legendary Squad writer, joined by Secret Six writer Gail Simon, who's also shown that she can write villains as leads. J. Calafiore's art is good, if not exceptional; and while the overall book is little more than a fill-in issue that could have been done as part of Secret Six (as the recent Deadshot issue penned by Ostrander), it was a nice blast from the past for Squad fans like me. Worst Book Of The Week was JSA All-Stars #2. Inconsequential plot, bad art.

Best Book Of The Week for 01/13 was Adventure Comics #509; just a little "Metropolis 500 Miles"-style Lex Luthor story; and the conclusion to Superboy's existential dilemma about him being the science lovechild of Lex and Superman: he knows he's all Superman where it counts. Manapul's watercolor art gives the book a nice retro feel; but Geoff Johns manages to mix in Silver Age elements (like Luthor's sister) into modern comics without it being ridiculous. Worst Book Of This Week was Psylocke #3... why do I keep reading this book?

Here's The Rundown: Action Comics (Hal's badge is wrong, Congorilla is too big), The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Bachalo's name is spelled incorrectly in the letters column), Batgirl V3 (it's not enough to have accented letters smaller, now dotted i's are smaller?), Batman: The Widening Gyre (Tim Drake's hair is wrong), Batman (Batman's gloves are wrong; so is The Riddler's hair), Black Panther V5 (Mr. Fantastic's eyes are colored wrong, and so are Doctor Doom's, and Doom's change between pages from the right color to the wrong one and back), Catwoman (I don't know what eye color Selina's sister has; but they change between pages), Dark X-Men (Ares' eyes are wrong), The Great Ten (Jay Garrick's costume is wrong), Greek Street (a female character is named "Rashid", when that's a male name; the female version should be "Rashida"), Green Arrow/Black Canary (Ollie says he's never seen a military unit that wears blue camo; but there are multiple examples of blue camo wearing military units around the world, including some in the USA), House Of Mystery V2 (the word "eaten" is spelled "et"), JSA All-Stars (several characters have inexplicable all-white eyes, there's a costuming mistake, and Magog's healthy eye changes from his correct blue to brown), Nation X: X-Factor (Rictor's eyes are the wrong color, Nightcrawler's costume is wrong), Nation X (Anole's arm is wrong), New Mutants V3 (Magik's mystical abilities still missing from her description), Psylocke (Betsy's eyes should be violet), Punisher Max: Get Castle (if Frank was a Marine, why is he wearing a US Army watch?), Red Robin (Rā's al Ghūl's eyes are colored incorrectly), S.W.O.R.D. (B.E.A.S.T.), Siege (Donald Blake magically grew some Banshee style sideburns; an entire page of text in the H.A.M.M.E.R. transcript files is repeated) , Spider-Man & The Secret Wars (Doctor Doom is insanely larger than Spider-Man), Strange V2 (Doctor Strange's eyes are colored wrong on the cover, then inside, then they're right), Suicide Squad (Catman's eyes should be blue, not green), Titans V2 (Roy's hair is wrong on the cover, Dinah's wearing her old costume for some reason), The Unwritten (accented letter... what, only one in the whole Rundown?). Now, let's go vote on the 2009 Autopsy Awards, and then, read this column's dissections:

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Jackpot (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: Jackpot runs into criminals doing some "illegal smuggling" on the docks. Hey, Jackpot... all smuggling is illegal; if it's legal it's called "import/export".


TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Jackpot (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: Jackpot got her powers while working in a lab that was researching a cure for Parkinson. They wanted to do rewriting the genetic code of every cell in the body. How? Using a virus, apparently because "that's what viruses do--they rewrite the DNA of the cells they infect." Uh... no, virus don't usually rewrite DNA or we'd be in (more) trouble (than we already are). Only retroviruses (like the HIV virus) do that, via the enzyme called "reverse transcriptase".


TITLE: Batman Confidential (DC).

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: Sam Kieth (writer).

DISSECTION: An enemy knows about Batman's parents dying in Crime Alley, and he thinks "No one knows about that except Alfred." Uhm? What about Robin? And if this story's before Robin came into the picture... what about Leslie Thompkins?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also; how many times do we have to go through scenes of Batman and Gordon surprised that ghosts or metahumans exist? No matter how early it is in his career, that doesn't fly.

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: Special #06.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Donald313 found two dissections in column #145, and he also noticed that I wrote: "I admit it, I always nominate a Legion moment because love them" in the Special. That's three badges for you, Don.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. I also found a few minor dissections in older columns while working on the nominations. What nominations, you ask? The ones for the 2009 Autopsy Awards!

TITLE: Galactica 1980 (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: Adama in the original continuity was just called "Adama", not "William Adama" like in the new show; so this character shouldn't be referred to as "Bill" by Baltar.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There are also some accented letters smaller than they should, including two that are not only smaller, but in a different font, and one that for some reason is in lower case while the rest of the word is in caps.

TITLE: Red Tornado V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 06.

CULPRIT: Kevin VanHook (writer).

DISSECTION: Check this one out:

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, penciller "José Luís" or "José Luis" is credited as "Luis" inside the book and as "Luís" on the cover. One of the two is wrong.

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: According to Claremont, there are jacaranda trees in Wakanda's capital. Seeing as to how jacarandas are native to South America, and that Wakanda has always been pretty isolationist, I highly doubt it. Jacaranda trees exist in places other than South America; for example, Pretoria in South Africa is popularly known as The Jacaranda City because of the large amount of specimens of this tree it has.

But, I chalk it up to Claremont screwing up, knowing his recent track record.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There are other writing and lettering mistakes; not worth mentioning.

TITLE: X-Men Origins: Cyclops (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Jesse Delperdang (penciller).

DISSECTION: I don't care that it might be a stylized computer generated map... this is ridiculous:

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Iceman's original costume is wrong too.
So, we got an average of 6.3 Bazzars in a total of sixty four dissections. Let's get on with the Covers Of Each Week. Cover from 01/06 is this nicely painted cover the first issue of Siege, by Gabrielle Dell'Otto:

You can't even tell if Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly. Then, Cover from 01/13 was this retro piece from The Marvels Project #5, by Captain America artist extraordinaire Steve Epting:

He's literally jumping out at you! Now, let's go with the Moments Of The Week. One from 01/06, what the hell is the Negative Man doing?

Well, I guess looking like Tutankhamun's mummy will make you a bit lonely... Then, two moments from 01/13... first, Lex Luthor tells us how it is:

He just healed his sister and made her walk again. Yes, Lex Luthor exists!!! But what else can he do?

Yup, take his cure back. Yer a reaaal piece of work, Lexy. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes... did you vote on the 2009 Autopsy Awards yet? GO VOTE!!!


Friday, January 15, 2010

The Dissector Special #07: Autopsy Awards 2009 Nominations.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


Here are the 2009 Autopsy Awards nominees right here! The voting will be via e-mail, send your votes to lordmagnusen at, in the following form (each nomination has a code): "W01, A03, C02..."

Some of the awards are not subject to vote, as they are given solely on a numeric basis (most Dissected company, etc), or specially awarded for extraordinary "merit" (I also accept suggestions for special awards). Of course, the text for each dissection is the original one from when they were published, but I've added (mostly) new comments for all.

The last three categories are actually about positive things that a comic book company or creator would be proud to win... unlike the other categories. I'm talking about the "Best Quote", "Best Moment", and "Best Cover" awards. Now, the nominees:

Let's get started with the Best Writing Dissection nominees:
W01-"RED LIGHTNING!" (The Dissector #108, 01/21/09)

COMMENT: This was a bit surprising; since James Robinson is a good writer, and this is not just sloppy science, but sloppy comic book reading comprehension.

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 683.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: Black Lightning uses his powers against a Kryptonian by surrounding him with lightning and then... CHANGING THE LIGHTNING'S COLOR TO RED, THEREFORE RENDERING THE KRYPTONIAN POWERLES??!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Robinson, Kryptonians are powerless under RED SUNLIGHT, not RED ELECTRICITY!!! Black Lightning has ELECTRIC POWERS not SOLAR POWERS!!!

Robinson also has Starfire absorbing the yellow solar radiation from the Kryptonians to leave them powerless. This, while a stretch of her powers (she never had such control, her solar energy absorption is usually just passive), it's not absurd like what he does with Black Lightning's powers.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. No less.
W02-"SCALPED?" (The Dissector #118, 06/05/09)

COMMENT: I understand writers, particularly the ones from the US, not understanding foreign cultures or even law systems... but their own? Also, I'm so proud of my dad... he starts as a judge in a week or so.

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak.

DISSECTION: War Machine, wanted under the Superhuman Registration Act, and whatever laws have put Norman Osborn in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R. and all that jazz, takes refuge in an Indian reservation; and apparently, he'll be safe inside the "rez", under tribal law. Uhm, no. Tribal law applies to everyday stuff, but someone who breaks Federal law is persecuted even inside reservation borders. If you have any questions, just ask my new to-go-guy for Tribal Law, Charles S. Aspinwall, Attorney At Law, Cowboy Of Regulations

And he kind of looks like my dad, but in a Cowboy Parallel Universe version!!!!! First my dad looks like a Sinestro Corps Member, then he looks like a Starfleet engineer... and now a Cowboy Lawyer!!! At least they share a profession (lawyer, not cowboy).

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I had a dissection similar to this one, which only got 8 Bazzars, but this time around it's not about a tribal citizen avoiding charges for not being registered; but rather a fugitive fleeing Federal authorities by running into a reservation. Federal authorities (and particularly H.A.M.M.E.R.) would not stop at the "rez" border. Just ask Chuck Aspinwall.

On another note, I'd like to congratulate my dad for being named judge for the Inter-American Court of Human Rights. He's one of Uruguay's (and the Americas') top lawyers, a great teacher, father, and excellent person, and I'm very proud of him. He'll be rocking one of these snazzy robes, yet no wig. I think I'll get him a Green Lantern emblem so I can pretend he's a Guardian Of The Universe. CONGRATULATIONS DAD!!!
W03-"DISSECTNEXT." (The Dissector #130, 08/28/09)

COMMENT: With mistakes like this one, I really fear that Claremont has some sort of senility problems...

TITLE: GeNext United (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Looks like Chris can't keep his nose clean for too long. Dissect me this, please:

W04-"LAW & DISORDER." (The Dissector #141, 11/27/09)

COMMENT: This one was just... well, the art counterpart of this dissection was even worse.

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak (writer).

DISSECTION: Norman Osborn and H.A.M.M.E.R. turn James Rhodes over to the International Criminal Court (ICC from now on). *sigh* Where do I start? First of all, H.A.M.M.E.R. is a US organization; it's not international as S.H.I.E.L.D. was, and the USA is not a member of the ICC. A little background: The United States of America, through then president Bill Clinton, signed the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court in 2000. However, Clinton stated that he would not submit it to the Senate for advice and consent for ratification until the U.S. government had a chance to assess the functioning of the court (although he supported the proposed role of the ICC and its aims). A treaty that is not ratified is not legally binding.

In 2002, the 60 requisite ratifications for the Rome Statue were reached, and US President George W. Bush's administration sent a note to the UN Secretary General suspending the US government's signature of the statute, and informing that the USA recognized no obligation towards the Court.

Additionally, the US government stated that its intention not to become a member state of the ICC be reflected in the UN documentation, specifically because signatories have an obligation not to undermine the object and purpose of a treaty.

Now, let's assume that one of the following three things is true: 1) That H.A.M.M.E.R. is a UN organization (which it's not, from all that's been shown in the comics), 2) That in the Marvel Universe, the USA is a member of the ICC (which I doubt), or 3) That the USA is making an exception and collaborating with the ICC, since many of War Machine's crimes were committed outside the US (which is believable, I guess). Assuming any of those three things to be true... judging Rhodes in the ICC is still wrong.

In broad strokes, the ICC's purpose is to prosecute individuals for genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and the crime of aggression (although it cannot currently exercise jurisdiction over the latter). War Machine's crimes do not fall within any of those definitions; he's no different than many unregistered heroes, or rather, since he kills, no different than most supervillains, or even vigilantes like Moon Knight (at his worst) or the Punisher. At most, he's a terrorist... and the International Criminal Court does not have jurisdiction over terrorism.

Many member states wanted to add terrorism and drug trafficking to the list of crimes covered by the Rome Statute; however, the states were unable to agree on a definition for terrorism, and drug trafficking was left out because as this might overwhelm the court's limited resources.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. But, as infomercials say, this is not all! Read the next dissection for a complete screw-up, writing and art-wise.
I think this one's going to be a close vote. Let's go on with the nominees for Best Art Dissection:
A01-"CHANGE, AS FAST AS A GAZELLE RUNS." (The Dissector #112, 03/27/09)

COMMENT: Bach's work is terrorism.

TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 50.

CULPRIT: Ramon Bachs (penciller).

DISSECTION: Remember back in column #103, when I noted that Francis Manapul had radically changed Gazelle's design, from obviously alien, to slightly changed human (perhaps only cosmetically so)? Well, Bachs does one worse! Below, you can see in the upper left corner, Gazelle's first appearance in issue #37; and next to it, Manapul's rendition on issue #48. Then on the row below, Gazelle from the first pages of issue #50. Bach changes her hair, loses the markings on her face, and makes her features even more human (or what passes for human with Bach's art in this book). He also modifies her costume... but he doesn't stop there; because he even changes her appearance radically by the final pages of the book, and slightly in the same page:

My God, this is fucking outrageous! By the end of the book, she looks like a furry!!! Colorist JD Smith helps Bachs commit this crime, too.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
A02-"B.E.A.S.T." (The Dissector #140, 11/20/09)

COMMENT: After I accepted that Beast had mutated even after his secondary mutation; I still couldn't accept this. He looks NOTHING like he should.

TITLE: S.W.O.R.D. (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Steven Sanders (penciller).

DISSECTION: You know, it helps to check character references when working on a comic issue. Beast looks like this, according to Sanders:

Uhm... WHAT??!?!?!? He looks like one of the multiple versions of Star Wars' Bothans.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, if Lockheed is assigned to the Stiletto Zero (a S.W.O.R.D. spaceship), how does he end up on the other ship with McCoy and Brand?
A03-"WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF UNIFORM?" (The Dissector #141, 11/27/09)

COMMENT: I suspect Aranda is Ramon Bachs who is now worried about shaming his family name.

TITLE: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Javier Aranda (artist).

DISSECTION: There are plenty of dissections in this book, so I'll just show the worst art one, and the worst writing one. Additionally, I'll say that Riker's eyes are brown instead of his correct blue, Deanna Troi's eyes are wrong, Worf's warrior sash is missing, Data has Lieutenant rank insignia, when he's a Lt. Cmdr., Picard has Commander pips at one point, and Beverly Crusher should be wearing three solid pips, since she was a Commander from the show's start, instead of one pip... or two, as she wears in this book depending on the panel.

Now, the worst art dissection was that the uniform designs don't match the real uniforms from the TV show... not only that, but the designs change from page to page, and even are mirrored; switching horizontal orientation. See below, first what a real TNG uniform looks like, then how Aranda mangles them and doesn't even keep them consistent during the issue:

For starters, there's Picard in his uniform. The shoulders and the neckline look a bit different, but that's pretty much acceptable; stuff that depends on angles and whatnot. But then there's the lower part of the jacket... there's a "spike", let's call it, pointing at Jean-Luc's right hip, and the red fabric slopes up in a twenty degree (more or less) angle towards a few inches before his left hip, then angles down to a second spike towards it. Then, from that spike, you have a line straight up towards his left armpit. Now that I look at it closely, it's basically the shape of the Star Fleet "alpha" badge.

Now look at the Picard drawn by Aranda. The line from the first spike to the second has a much sharper angle, and it's noticeably shorter, leading to a much wider second spike. Yes, he's kind of turned sideways, but still, the design is different; as the red fabric covers the zone under his armpit, something that doesn't happen in the real uniform.

Then, in the third image, Data (or a snowman dressed in his clothes... more like a blow up doll) has a uniform with a different design from the one Picard wears in the previous picture... and Riker has a different one, and it looks like Worf wears a third different design, and Picard too... then... WAIT!!! Look at that... I just realized that for ONE, and only ONE panel in the whole comic, Worf wears his sash... and it looks more like a Pancho Villa bullet belt!!!! Of course, in that picture Picard and Riker are wearing a fourth and fifth designs, and they're even mirrored...

Fantastic Aranda, fantastic. Please, IDW, quit ruining your Star Trek comics... half of them have subpar artists... and some, like this one, have people who should not be hired for professional artwork. This is no longer a dissection thing, but an actual, honest, completely objective quality appraisal. Aranda is BAD, his human(oid) figures are inconsistent, his designs don't stay the same, and everything looks UGLY. And yes, Worf appears in about fourteen panels in the whole comic, and he's only wearing his sash (which doesn't look much like his sash) in one.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars for the horrible uniform debacle. I look forward to the next issue of this book... as long as the writer e-mails me the script, or Javier Aranda is replaced by someone (yes, even Rob Liefield would do).
A04-"IN-TER-NA-TIO-NAL." (The Dissector #141, 11/27/09)

COMMENT: The level of ignorance involved in this dissection is simply disheartening.

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Wellinton Alves (penciller).

DISSECTION: This is even worse, because if you want to justify the previous dissection, you can always claim "things are different in the Marvel Universe!". In this case, however, there is no excuse. Jim Rhodes stands before a single judge (something that never happens in the ICC as far as I was able to ascertain) in an ICC courtroom (that looks nothing like the real ones)... and there's a US flag to the side of the judge and a US seal behind her.

Why? Why the hell would you do that Alves? INTERNATIONAL. CRIMINAL. COURT. INTERNATIONAL!!!


I can understand an American, with the (no offense meant to my American readers) general sense of being the center of the world US citizens have, starting with the fact that they call themselves "Americans", as if they were the only residents of the American continent. But a Brazilian artist? Please Wellinton, use the internet, do some research... Typing three worlds and clicking on three links I found this 360º photographic virtual tour of one of the ICC. And even if you didn't HAVE an internet connection, why in the name of Khan Noonien Singh would you think of putting US symbols in the INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL COURT??!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Of course, there are eye color mistakes and other stuff.
Some of these dissections were just alarming... On with the nominees for Best Coloring Dissection, which aren't as exciting:
C01-"LAUNDRY MIX-UP." (The Dissector #115, 05/19/09)

COMMENT: IDW's Star Trek comics usually have good plots; and great characterization, you almost always feel like you're watching a TV episode of the respective series. But they are so often drawn but such lousy artists; and there are so many wrong details that could be avoided by five minutes at Memory Alpha, or some, like this one, by WATCHING A FUCKING EPISODE OF THE SHOW!!! (And yes, I just realized I wrote "why is" when referring two people, I'm dissecting that next column.)

TITLE: Star Trek: Mission's End (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: John Hunt (colorist).

DISSECTION: Why is Spock and Uhura wearing a yellow uniform, and Sulu a blue one?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
C02-"SOLO TUS OJOS." (The Dissector #127, 08/08/09)

COMMENT: This one's just sloppy, but not very exciting.

TITLE: Star Wars Adventures: Princess Leia and the Royal Ransom (Dark Horse).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Michael Atiyeh (colorist).

DISSECTION: Han Solo's eyes are colored green during most of the issue... then brown (as they should be) for a couple of panels... then green again. So, not only are you unable to look at character references for one of the MAIN CHARACTERS OF THE STAR WARS SAGA, but you're also unable to keep your crap consistent for a single comic?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Yes. It's Han FUCKING Solo, not BoShek (who has brown eyes too, BTW & FYI).
C03-"BLUE MARBLES." (The Dissector #127, 08/08/09)

COMMENT: Ditto, but it's common sense.

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 35.

CULPRIT: Pete Pantazis (colorist).

DISSECTION: It's not Norman, but Hoshi Kimiyo's eyes are colored blue, when they should be black. Do you just start coloring a comic book decide to give a Japanese character blue eyes, and you can't see anything odd about that?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Plastic Man's legs are painted as if he wore pants... and he doesn't; all in the same page where he is colored correctly in the rest of the panels.
C04-"DISSECTION MACHINE!" (The Dissector #138, 11/06/09)

COMMENT: The problem here was that the woman is James Rhodes' mother; and she's a black woman... not in the picture.

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Jay David Ramos & Michael Bartolo (colorists).

DISSECTION: Come on, this one is very simple:

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Norman's eyes. And please, bring Leonardo Manco back to this book...
My vote is obvious. Let's go with the nominees for Best Lettering Dissection:
L01-"BATMAN IN BARCELÖNA." (The Dissector #118, 06/05/09)

COMMENT: I know I rant on and on about the size of accented letters; but this was just ridiculous, and not just about the size.

TITLE: Batman In Barcelona: Dragon's Knight (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Steve Wands (letterer).

DISSECTION: Now, this issue is a bag of lame; while it's not bad, it's filler crap at its best. Writer Mark Waid puts in a few unbelievable ideas, such as Batman not being recognized outside of Gotham (Justice League, anyone?), or him not being able to sneak a utility belt through customs (he built Brother Eye, he has access to alien tech, and the best tech humanity has to offer); and there's a few Spanish language mistakes too.

However, what made me cringe were the accents on letters in Spanish or Catalá; I'm used by now (even if I hate it) to letterers making accented vowels smaller in languages like these, but Wands takes the cake here. Look at this couple of examples:

Not only are the accented letters about three quarters the size of the rest of the font (and almost half in some other cases), but also, he's made the accents as almost horizontal lines above the letters! Good God!!!

L02-"SWITCHEROO!" (The Dissector #129, 08/25/09)

COMMENT: Lame, but pay more attention to characters, please.

TITLE: Adventure Comics (DC Comics).

ISSUE: 504.

CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).

DISSECTION: Yes, I've decided to refer to this book with the original numbering; since the dual numbering is not just on the covers, but on the indicia of the book, which makes it pretty clear that is more than just a gimmick. No dissections on the Superboy story, but in the Legion character spread Night Girl and Shadow Lass have the info caption boxes switched between them.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There are other mistakes, such as omitting important powers from certain info boxes (namely Superman's invulnerability, or the fact that Polar Boy doesn't just control cold, he generates it too).
L03-"WEDNESDAY MIXUP." (The Dissector #129, 08/25/09)

COMMENT: Just confusing, slightly.

TITLE: Wednesday Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 52.

CULPRIT: Blambot's Nate Piekos (letterer, Metamorpho story).

DISSECTION: Metamorpho has a plan, then congratulates Element Girl on her good thinking.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Iris West's eyes are colored incorrectly, again.
L04-"RŒD TORNADŒ" (The Dissector #132, 09/14/09)

COMMENT: Just sloppy.

TITLE: Red Tornado V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 6.

CULPRIT: Sal Cipriano (letterer).

DISSECTION: Okay, this book is only slightly less exciting than the Magog book; but at least it's a mini. The Magog book can only be explained by Keith Giffen wanting to write him and DC letting him... What's the dissection here? Well, Penciller José Luís is credited with an accent in his last name on the cover (while other books have credited without it; the Brazilian spelling has an accent while the Spanish spelling doesn't, and I don't know if he's Brazilian or Hispanic). I can't really confirm a dissection there, and I'm inclined to believe he's Brazilian or even Portuguese...

However, look at what Sal Cipriano did inside of the book:

Man... that's not only wrong, it's not even POSSIBLE. You can't have a dot on the "i" AND an accent. If it wasn't for Simon Bowland's sheer volume of work...

Again, nothing that exciting this year. Now let's check out the nominees for Best Other Dissection:
O01-"TO BOLDLY DISSECT..." (The Dissector #133, 09/27/09)

COMMENT: The answer here was that there hasn't been a Klingon emperor in centuries when the story takes place. There's a Klingon emperor (and a Princess) during the late 2260s; when the story takes place. There was no Emperor in the Klingon Empire from the mid-21st Century to 2369 (and then only in a ceremonial position, the clone of Kahless). I almost put this as a writing nomination; since it ended up being in the comic book itself... but I think the editor should be to blame here; not Byrne, nor the ad writer.

TITLE: Star Trek: Nero (IDW).

ISSUE: 02 of 04.

CULPRIT: Unknown ad writer.

DISSECTION: This one's for the trekkies:

O02-"PROFILE, SCHMOFILE." (The Dissector #135, 10/16/09)

COMMENT: The Handbooks crew is just unbelievable... I catch stuff with ONE read, even when flipping through their profile books... now you include the profile for the star of your solo book, and you don't even make it accurate or complete?

TITLE: Doctor Voodoo: Avenger Of The Supernatural (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Unknown profile writer and Lauren Sankovitch (editor).

DISSECTION: The profile for Doctor Voodoo is sorely out of date; it's for "Brother Voodoo", it narrates some of his recent adventures without noting that some of those adventures were not had by him but by a Skrull impersonating him; and it neglects to include his recent ascendance to Sorcerer Supreme. Pitiful.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each,
O03-"EXAGGERATION, MUCH?" (The Dissector #142, 12/04/09)

COMMENT: Just an example of not paying attention.

TITLE: Avengers: The Initiative (Marvel).

ISSUE: 30.

CULPRIT: Christos N. Gage (writer) and/or Rachel Pinnelas (assistant editor) & Bill Roseman (editor).

DISSECTION: The intro blurb says "... after Stamford, Connecticut was destroyed..."; but Stamford was not destroyed, a school and surrounding houses in Stamford were destroyed.

O04-"THOU HAST LETTERED THY COMIC INCORRECTLY!" (The Dissector #143, 12/12/09)

COMMENT: ... and another one. Thor will be mad.

TITLE: Thor V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 604.

CULPRIT: Joe Sabino (letterer) and/or Alejandro Arbona (assistant editor), Ralph Macchio & Warren Simmons (editors).

DISSECTION: The recent Thor one-shot had a preview of this issue, which, as usual, ended with "CONTINUED IN THOR #604"... but they left the "CONTINUED..." blurb on that page's art for this issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, CeeCee, I hate to call you on it, but Doctor Doom has brown eyes, not blue eyes.
Now for the nominees for the first of the "positive" categories, Best Quote:
Q01-"Several boys reached puberty and exploded in their pants upon seeing her." Narrator, about Cin (aka Cinderella). Tarot: Witch Of The Black Rose #54. (The Dissector #113, 04/16/09)
Q02-"I'm Charles Fort. My partner here is Howard Phillips Lovecraft. Unusual facts find me and unusual... THINGS find him." Charles Fort, Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #1. (The Dissector #116, 05/23/09)
Q03-"The zombie horde tears into you like a pack of three year olds into a bag of two cent candy." B.A. Felton, Knights Of The Dinner Table #139. (The Dissector #127, 08/08/09)
Q04-"Georgie Porgie is naught but a breathing transport for Georgie Porgie's pudding, which seeks out peculiar quim and holes in young bucks trousers with the snuffling alacrity of a Provençal truffle pig." Percy Shelley, about Lord Byron, Frankenstein's Womb. (The Dissector #130, 08/28/09)
Q05-"The men of the Bronze Age were the children of humans and gods. They performed great deeds, rid the world of giant monsters, pursued the Golden Fleece on the Argo and waged war against Troy. (...) Now, we suffer through the doleful Iron Age. (...) The once-sacred powers of the gods are made mockery by freaks of science who wear their underwear on the outside of their clothing!" Hera, Assault On New Olympus. (The Dissector #139, 11/12/09)
Q06-"We are your gods! And not docile Morgan Freeman God, we're talking full-force, 110% Jack Kirby Gods! With armor and Omega Beams and chess pieces made to look like my enemies!" Wannabe warlocks at a convention, Angel #27. (The Dissector #143, 12/12/09)
Alright, now for the next positive category, the nominees for Best Moment:
M01-From Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #2: Atomic Robo is as much a dissector as I am. (The Dissector #119, 06/11/09)

M02-From Blackest Night #1:This was a very shocking, and creepy moment. (The Dissector #125, 07/29/09)

M03-Final Crisis: Legion Of 3 Worlds #5: I admit it, I always nominate a Legion moment because love them. These are the Legions Of Three Worlds, people, it doesn't get much awesomer than this. (The Dissector #126, 08/04/09)

M04-From Flash: Rebirth #4: Flash Facts: If you mess with the Flashes, Daddy Flash will pimp slap yo' ass!!! (The Dissector #131, 09/04/09)

M05-From The Boys #34: What happened to Germany when the Nazis pushed the allies too far? Well, the Americans, the British, and the Free French Forces attacked... then the Soviets took Berlin from behind! (The Dissector #132, 09/14/09)

M06-From Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #6: I did not see this one coming. Hellboy descendant of King Arthur? (The Dissector #133, 09/27/09)

M07-From Comic Book Comics #4: We learn how Jack Kirby escapes from Marvel for the second time. (The Dissector #143, 12/12/09)

Lastly, the nominees for the newest positive category, Best Cover:
T01-Ex Machina #44. Pulp jacket? Check. Pulp goggles? Check. Steampunk cog? Check. Yeah, I'm easy. Thanks, Tony Harris and company. (The Dissector #130, 08/28/09)

T02-A beautiful Reverse Flash cover by Ethan Van Sciver. (The Dissector #131, 09/04/09)

T03-This one's by Skottie Young, for Iron Man And The Armor Wars #2. I like it, it's compelling. (The Dissector #132, 09/14/09)

T04-The below cover for Green Lantern Corps V2 #41 was way too creepy to not be the Cover Of The Week. Patrick Gleason's pencils capture the mandatory spookiness of an undead child; who's at the same time very smug (that smug lil bastard face makes me think of my son's; who's smarter than most people and knows it). The inks are by Rebecca Buchman; and the colors by Randy Mayor and/or Gabe ElTaeb. (The Dissector #136, 10/23/09)

T05-This is pretty cover by Guillem March for Gotham City Sirens #5. (I like me some cheesecake...) (The Dissector #138, 11/06/09)

OK, get voting, you have until the end of the month (perhaps a few more days), to do so. Catch you soon with the next regular column. Remember, nothing escapes...

The Dissector #145.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)


12/16: "... don't mean to keep cycling back to Lovecraft, but it is the closest I can come to describing the indescribable." The Doctor, The Authority: The Lost Year #4.

12/23: "(Crazy glue?) That stuff's for wusses. My collection starts with "sociopathically deranged glue" and goes up from there." Riff, Sluggy Freelance (08/10/06).

Yeah, I know that second quote is not from the week I chose it for; but I read that strip that week; I've finally caught up on my favorite webcomic, Sluggy Freelance. The other quote, from The Authority, bumped down a Hercules quote that made it to the Moments Of The Week(s). I always comment with my friends that Lovecraft was very lazy when it came to describing his "horrors". He'd go on and one for two paragraphs when describing a chair or a table, but then the monster showed up, and it was "indescribably indescribable"; we like to laugh about that. Like Alejandro Dolina said recently, Lovecraft was utterly underestimated in his day; and a bit overestimated in modern times.

I know this column is late, waaay late; but I have good reasons. A friend spilled a pint of soda on my laptop's keyboard; and I had to have it replaced. The keyboard; not the whole laptop. Half my notes for the week of 12/16 where in that laptop; so I couldn't write that column; and I ended up making this column for both that week and 12/23.

Emerre correctly spotted in last column's DT! that Tony Stark's hair had somehow been colored red; so he gets his badge. Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Weeks are the following. Best Book of 12/16 was Power Girl V2 #7; Jimmy Palmiotti and his partner (not only in comic books) Amanda Conner deliver a very fun story complete with a Sean Connery wannabe; and Amanda's always sexy but not-too-serious art. Worst Book Of That Week was The Brave And The Bold V3 #30; an unremarkable story that not only was unremarkable, it was based around a flawed premise (a Green Lantern not carrying his lantern around), which could have been fixed easily (showing how his lantern was captured or lost).

Best Book Of The Week for 12/23 was Battlefields: Happy Valley. As usual, Garth Ennis provides an engaging tale of soldiers at war, with excellent art by P.J. Holden. In fact only one of the Battlefield minis has been a disappointment; the one about the nurse and the pilot. It was boring (centered to much about the nurse who was not in a battlefield) and difficult to read; because it was mostly captions from letters or a journal she wrote, and the "handwriting" font was too frilly to be read comfortably. Worst Book Of That Week was Secret Warriors #11... NOTHING happened...

Now, here's The (really long) Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (accented letter), Angel ("fourget"), Arkham Reborn (Alice Synner or Sinner has ribbons in her hair for each of the deadly sins... except "despair" is not a sin), The Authority: The Lost Year (Swift's ears are not pointy, and Jenny Quantum's eyes should be brown, not blue), Avengers: The Initiative (Taskmaster's eyes shouldn't be yellow when he's not in costume), Batman (several errors in Batman's costume), Batman 80-Page Giant ("inpenatrable" is not a word, and a character changes hair color between panels), Black Panther V5 (Namor's eyes are the wrong color, Wakandan TV is again in English, Reed Richard's eyes are the wrong color, and so are Doctor Doom's. Also, how can you totally loose 56% of a crop. It's either total, or partial.), Black Widow & The Marvel Girls (Scarlet Witch and Black Widow get their eyes colored incorrectly), Blackest Night (apart from the Scarecrow's eyes colored incorrectly, Hal Jordan's badge and his ring are wrong), The Brave And The Bold V3 (Again Hal Jordan's badge is wrong, and it even changes shape between pages. Also, he's stranded on an alien planet without his battery... when are writers going to learn that Green Lanterns can carry their batteries inside their ring?), Captain America: Who Will Wield The Shield (accented letters), Dark Avengers: Ares (Ares' eye color is wrong.), Dark Avengers (Norman Osborn and the Molecule Man get their eyes colored wrong, and the sizes of some characters are wrong), Detective Comics (Huntress' eyes are blue, not green.), Doctor Voodoo: Avenger Of The Supernatural (accented letter), Fantastic Four V1 (Artie and Leech don't look like they should. Also, poor Artie, he lost his power and still looks like that, and is still mute.), G.I. Joe (bad Spanish), Gotham City Sirens (several characters with wrong eye colors, including Bruce Wayne), Incredible Hercules (it's "São Paulo", not "São Paolo", and there's an "ñ" wrong, and a "C" with cedilla wrong, but in the art), Madame Xanadu (Morgana's eyes change color), Ms. Marvel V2 (Ms. Marvel was not replaced by Norman Osborn's one when she "disappeared"; Norman rolled out his Avengers despite the other ones running around, also a character's eyes change color between pages), New Mutants V3 (Magik's magical abilities are not mentioned in her description; the word "dilate" is spelled "dialate"), Power Girl V2 (Blue Snowman's hair brooch changes color between panels), Realm Of Kings: Inhumans (Karnak's eyes are colored wrong), Secret Warriors (Nick Fury, Daisy Johnson, and Dum Dum Dugan have their eyes colored incorrectly).

Damn, it's so long I'm going to split it in two, here's the rest: Star Trek: The Next Generation: Ghosts (the only good thing is that Geordi's rank is corrected; but the art is still awful, and there are several dissections, all regarding visual issues; "artist" Javier Aranda and colorist John Hunt did not catch more than a passing glance at a TNG episode), Super Friends V2 (Why show Franklin D. Roosevelt if you're going to draw him completely different from what he was? Also, Wonder Woman uses "hola" as a goodbye.), Superman/Batman (a word balloon points to the wrong character), Superman (Jimmy Olsen's eyes are colored incorrectly), Teen Titans V3 (Robin's costume in a flashback is wrong), The New Avengers (not only are Norman Osborn’s eyes wrong, they change color between pages), Thor V1 (Doctor Doom's eyes are colored incorrectly), Thunderbolts (a character without a healing factor is wounded, and the wound is gone a few panels later), What If Spider-Man: House of M 01 (For the nth time, Wolverine's eyes are blue! Also, Captain America's gloves are wrong; and Doctor Strange's eyes are colored incorrectly), X-Factor V3 (sigh, M's eyes should not be blue; particularly when you have her profile included in the same issue showing her eyes are brown, nor should be Reed Richard's, the Thing is not taller than Strong Guy, Siryn's eyes are not blue, and they should not change colors between panels), X-Force V3 (Selene's eyes are colored wrong), X-Men Forever V2 (Black Widow's eyes are wrong, Claremont again leaves Russian words between translation brackets, and there are three accented letters smaller than they should be), X-Men: Legacy (Surge's eyes are wrong, and Pixie's hair is wrong).

Still awfully long paragraphs... let's go to the dissections:

TITLE: Batman: Streets Of Gotham (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Paul Dini (writer).

DISSECTION: Really, Robin, who's a trained assassin and all around little bastard, gets sick and throws up because he sees dead children? Clearly, Dini has not seen how Damian has been portrayed until now. Stick to the Huntress.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Batman's gloves are wrong, and Maggie Sawyer is not an "officer", but an "inspector"; maybe she took a rank cut when she transferred to GCPD, but she wouldn't be an "officer".

TITLE: Blackest Night: JSA (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 03.

CULPRIT: James Robinson (writer).

DISSECTION: I'd like to think that I would have caught this on my own; but my buddy (and HDSC Ensign) spoiled it for me. Power Girl refers to Earth-2 Superman as "Uncle" Kal; when he was her cousin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. There are also multiple costume mistakes, even changes within the same issue.

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 49.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

DISSECTION: Why does someone call John Stewart "Jonathan"? That's not his name. Plus, someone else calls him "John" later.


TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 43.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: Now they call Kyle "Green Lantern 2814 Honor Guard", which is better, but still not right.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, Guy Gardner's ring and badge are wrong.

TITLE: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Fool's Gold (IDW).

ISSUE: 01 of 04.

CULPRIT: Scott & David Tipton (writers).

DISSECTION: Uh... "Jadzea"?!?!?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Kyra's earring is wrong, Odo's eyes should be blue, and Chief O'Brien's rank insignia is wrong. Oh, the art by Fabio Mantovani is not as awful as Javier Aranda's, and he's obviously paid attention to what DS9 looks like; but his characters all look like... dolls. No lifelike facial expressions whatsoever.

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 519.

CULPRIT: Matt Fraction (writer).

DISSECTION: Professor Xavier discusses Scott's possession by The Void largely ignoring when Apocalypse lived inside his mind, and saying he won't be able to fight something like that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Also, Namor's eye color is wrong, and why do Magneto and Namor talk like the latter doesn't live in Utopia?

TITLE: What If Astonishing X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Matteo Casali (writer) and/or Mike Getty (artist).

DISSECTION: Emma Frost can't use her telepathic powers while in diamond form, yet she does in the second story.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, on the first story, Logan's gloves are wrong; they lack the metal conduits for his claws.

TITLE: World's Finest V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Jamal Igle (penciller).

DISSECTION: Look at this, and tell me if you find anything wrong (other than Supergirl's underwear flying around):


TITLE: Zorro (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: As usual, the issue is full of wrong accented letters and "ñ"s. The only writing languages are a few missing exclamation marks; and the one I'm singling out is... IT'S NOT "BUENOS NOCHES"!!!!!!! IT'S "BUENAS NOCHES"!!!! "BUENAS"!!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Just because I'm pissed at this book. The other seventeen dissections get the standard 7 rating.
This brings us to a total of one hundred and twenty-six dissections; with an average of 6.4 Bazzars. Now, I need to get to work on the Autopsy Awards nominations; so let's get on with this. Best Cover for the week of 12/16 is this powerful piece from Green Lantern Corps #43; by Patrick Gleason, Rebecca Bachman, and Randy Mayor:

There's a scary thought, Guy Gardner with a red ring.... And speaking of green:

That's from Spider-Woman #4, Viper (aka Madame Hydra) beautifully painted by Alex Maleev. Now, Moments Of Each Week; starting with 12/16 as Guy Gardner shows us what he can do with both green and red rings:

Scary, for Black Lanterns. Then, from 12/23, Hercules:

He's not like those stuck up warriors who would say that there is no honor in battling robots. He knows how to have fun! Now, scariest thing I've seen in some time:

Uh-oh. Still in Marvel, Spider-Man really doesn't know what to say to a brother:

Whoops... Then, when Ganthet wants to be a Green Lantern...

He just invites himself in... Not that he really needs it, likely it's more symbolic than anything else. Now, who joins him in a rainbow colored army?

Kick-ass!!! The New Guardians! That's it for now, until next time (with the nominations for the 2009 Autopsy Awards), I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...