The Nitpicker #34.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the origin of the Italian footballer."

Welcome to this week's installment of the Nitpicker, much fun awaits you in this column. From now on, the quote of the week will be up there, where you see it. This week's jewel comes from Warren Ellis' Crécy, and was uttered by an unnamed English longbowman, speaking about the French-paid Genoese crossbowmen running away from battle. Good book, educational and gory, and it's in fact, the Nitpicker's Pick Of The Week for best book. Warren Ellis masterfully adapts this page of history, with great art from Raulo Cáceres; art that reminds me of European comics like Judge Dredd or Torpedo 1936. Well, even if it's published by Avatar Press, Warren Ellis being British, and Cáceres being Spanish virtually makes this a European comic, with the story's subject and the aesthetics and storytelling formulas used making it even more so.

Ellis shows here some of his usual mannerisms as writer, which you can see in even his more "mainstream" work, such as Thunderbolts, but this is an unequivocally pro-English book, perhaps with a hint of irony on how the United Kingdom was built. The device of having the narrator (an English longbowman, the same who uttered the quote of the week) speak to the reader, and do so with language and knowledge that wasn't available in his time, makes for a very intimate reading on what should be a horrible moment of history. This is one of the bloodiest battles of history, one that changed the face of warfare forever, and still, you feel like you're talking to one of your friends... sorry, mates.

And Cáceres' art (check out his gallery) painstakingly depicts the armors, weapons, and every other single detail of this book, while providing relatable facial expressions and gory (yes I mentioned that it's a gory book already, I know) battles, as real battles should be shown in comics. It kind of reminds me of how battles are depicted (I seem to love that word, don't I?) in the movie "The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc": bloody, and deadly. All this said, I must say again that it is a great adaptation of the story that battle; do like I did and read up on the Battle of Crécy before reading the comic and you'll enjoy it even more.

So now it's turn for the worst book of the week, and that's gonna fall to Metal Men #1. Duncan Rouleau weaves a confusing plot, perhaps intentionally so, but still boring; with art that is supposed to be retro, but has too much of a manga flavor to accomplish that goal of a retro feel. I don't have much more to say about it, I just didn't like it at all. On an unrelated note, and speaking of stuff that sucked big time, remember that horrible Question mask on last week's Countdown? Well, this is a message for the penciller and colorist of that issue, Manuel García and Thomas Chu. This is how you draw and color Renee Montoya as the Question:

Before starting with this week's nits, let's hear a big applause for Miss Kitty Fantastico, who correctly answered last week's "Spot The Nit", where Namor was lacking his ankle wings.
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"HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? CONTACTS ARE ALL THE RAGES WITH SUPERHEROES THESE DAYS!"

TITLE: All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: From page 4, panel 2, and for the rest of the book, Donna Troy's eyes are green, when they are (as with 90% of superhero comic book characters) blue.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, she is a very well known character.
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"IT'S MY NEW CHIN GUARD."

TITLE: All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Well, well, well. I must admit that page 14, which has 6 nits (I believe this is the record for a single page), went completely unnoticed. Thankfully, members of the HNS Corps spotted them, and reported back to me. Bea and Roy, from Dragon Comics, found a lot of nits on that page, starting with this one.

All of this (including a sighting of Donna Troy's green contacts) happens in panel four of this page, though I must add that all these nits are getting a lower rating than they usually should because of the subjective nature of the "Heaven" the characters were in. The first nit is that Flash (whether it is supposed to be Barry or Bart) has his chin colored as part of the mask.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, it's the Flash.
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"IF THE ATOM IS ASIAN NOW, WHY CAN'T I BE ASIAN AS WELL?"

TITLE: All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Continuing, Red Bee shouldn't be colored as Asian, when he was Caucasian and blonde.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"SO, I REDESIGNED THE COSTUME, WHY NOT?"

TITLE: All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Mike Norton (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: This nit was actually spotted yours truly, and I found it by checking if there hadn't been an Asian red bee. Red Bee's costume had short sleeves, not puffy long ones.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"A RED AND GREEN SUIT? REALLY?"

TITLE: All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: The Golden Age Star Man's body suit is colored white, instead of red, and his cape red instead of green.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"THIS IS MORE FEMENINE."

TITLE: All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Mike Norton (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Phantom Lady is wearing a skirt, instead of short pants.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"I'M WEARING THAT SPECIAL CREAM MONARCH RECCOMENDEND."

TITLE: All-New Atom.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Alex Bleyaert (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: And lastly, Young Frankenstein's skin is colored as Caucasian, when he was green. Wow, Bleyaert got five nits in one issue, and one of them is the eye color of a major DC character!

Bea and Roy also pointed out two more nits, the first being that Isis' hair should be black and not brown. Isis had brown hair, even though it was a dark brown that often seemed black, and the lighting in this page makes it seem very light. So I can't really consider that a nit. The other nit was that Vigilante shouldn't be in Heaven, when he committed suicide. First of all, this is not actual Heaven; second, it's the Catholic Church (and I believe that other Christian churches too) that say that a suicide doesn't go to Heaven. In fact, as far as I know (which isn't a lot on this subject, I admit), no where in the Bible it says in clear cut words that suicide is a sin, or at least, that it's a sin that will keep you out of Heaven.

Like I usually say (being somewhat of a Catholic myself), God does not bother with the small stuff (not that suicide is small, keep reading and you'll see what I mean). If you were a good person, you get to go to Heaven, regardless of how your life ended, and let's face it, suicide is not something that is decided upon with a clear head, but rather something that you do when you're desperate and not completely sane. As a third point, consider that not all cultures considered suicide to be wrong, Seppuku, and hara-kiri were honorable ways to ends one life in ancient Japan, as just to cite the better known examples.

Furthermore, of the three Vigilantes who wore that costume, only Adrian Chase committed suicide. Alan Welles and Dave Winston were killed in action, the former by Chase himself, and Winston by Peacemaker. As a final comment, let me say that I, personally, believe that suicide is wrong, although I can understand what can lead a person to do it.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"NO, IT'S NOT THE CREAM, MICHAEL JACKSON IS MY COUSIN."

TITLE: American Virgin.

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Brian Miller (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 11, Vanessa (who is black) is colored correctly on all of the panels, except for panel 3, where she's unexplainably white, not to mention her lipstick is not colored in that panel either. Thanks to Trasgo for this nit.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"DUDE, THAT'S LIKE, THE BEST PART OF HER COSTUME!"

TITLE: Black Canary V3.

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Paulo Siqueira (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Wow, this think being weekly, Paulo Siqueira and Amilton Santos couldn't do the whole book, and other than the first 8 pages, the art was by Tom Derenick and Rodney Ramos. This is a miniseries, four issues people, four, how could they not have it all drawn by the same team? By the way, what the fuck is it with DC and weekly books? I get it with 52 and Countdown, but do we really need weekly Black Canary and Outsiders?

Anyhoo, the nit in this case is on page 2, on the first panel Black Canary doesn't have any fishnets, when they were there last week, and the y are a couple of panels down this very same page. I know she's in the background, but Siqueira can draw imperfections on the buildings and stars on a flag, but he can't draw Canary's fishnets?

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"I'M SO PISSED ABOUT THE FISHNETS, THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BOTHER WRITING THIS ONE UP. YOU GUESS IT."

TITLE: Black Canary V3.

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Tom Derenick (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 14, I am willing to accept that Black Canary can catch arrows (and even use a caught arrow to parry a second one, *groan*), but... it's time for Spooooooooot The Niiiiiiiiiit! Look at the page below and tell me if you spot it:


NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"IT'S A FRENCH NAME, WHO CARES?"

TITLE: Crécy.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Unnamed editor.

NIT-TO-PICK: The book correctly names the site of the battle as Crécy, but the back cover spells it as Crecy.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"IT'S A SPANISH NAME, WHO CARES?"

TITLE: Crécy.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Unnamed editor.

NIT-TO-PICK: The artist's last name should be "Cáceres", and not "Caceres".

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"ONE BODY, TWO COSTUMES."

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 39.

CULPRIT: Jim Calafiore (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: So, Karate Kid and Una (ugh, I hate that name) make another appearance, and Una's costume looks different from what it was two issues ago, when she first appeared. Look below (this issue on the right), as minor changes we can mention that the cut of the bodice looks different at the sides (but we can't see the sides very well), and the length and shapes of the boots, and the material they seem to be made from look different. As for larger differences, she is now wearing golden bracers instead of white gloves, and she's wearing a belt.


NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Consistency people, consistency.
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"THEY'RE STILL IN THE LAUNDRY."

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 548.

CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Ben and Johnny are still wearing blue FF uniforms, instead of the black ones that they started wearing since Black Panther and Storm joined.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars, I can't have this go up.
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"I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED KIND OF GUY."

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 548.

CULPRIT: Paul Pelletier (penciller) and/or Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 15, the Black Panther is reading up about the Frightful Four (as any good tactician should, since they are his next opponents), but he's doing it from a binder... Are we supposed to believe that the king of one of the most technologically advanced nations in the world, who is currently a member of the most technologically advanced superhero team of the planet, and who is incidentally traveling in a spaceship that can go from Earth to Titan in minutes, doesn't have a pocket computer of some sorts? Please.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, slightly less ridiculous than the wooden box for the Galactus contingency plan.
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"FLOORS GET FIXED QUICKLY AROUND HERE, WE'VE GOT A GOOD CONTRACTOR."

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Francis Manapul & Joel Gómez (pencillers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the last panel of page 7, Iron jumps on a guy and literally drives him into the ground, breaking the floor. No indications of him moving even a single step are given, yet by the next page, he's standing on a pristine floor, with no signs of what happened. Thanks to ICS.net's Editor In Chief, Brecht for this nit, and for making me read this book. It's got potential, and I like the mecha (that is, including cars) designs.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"COMMAS MATTER NOT TO BIG DADDY!"

TITLE: Iron And The Maiden.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Comicraft (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 29, Big Daddy says "Iron wasn't so lucky he survived."; when it should read "Iron wasn't so lucky, he survived."

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"I'M DOING MED SCHOOL AT S.H.I.E.L.D., YOU KNOW?""

TITLE: The Irredeemable Ant-Man.

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Robert Kirkman (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 9, Ant-Man's medical report after his "battle" with the Hulk is being read, and it mentions, among other things, "Compound fractures to your right tibula (...)". Problem is, "tibula" is not a proper medical term, it's a colloquialism common among doctors and med students for the fibula and tibia, the lower leg bones, but it's not a correct technical term. I highly doubt that it'd be used in a S.H.I.E.L.D. document. See here for more info.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"THIS SHIRT IS MY SPARE ONE, MADE BY MY NEPHEW..."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Fernando Pasarin (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page one, panel three, Jay Garrick's symbol on his shirt is drawn incorrectly, as a free-standing lightning bolt that points down, when it should come up from his waist (the base of the lightning joined to his pants' waistline) and pointing upwards. Also, Green Lantern's chest emblem should be seen from behind his crossed arms, but never mind.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"IT MAKES ME LOOK YOUNGER."

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3.

ISSUE: 08.

CULPRIT: Jeromy Cox (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Of course, Jeromy... same page, same panel, Ted Grant, aka Wildcat, has all-black hair, when his temples should be grey.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"GRACE, IS THAT YOU?"

TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Apart from how horribly she's drawn, Grace's tattoos are missing from her arms on pages 4 and 5. God, missing tattoos aside, how can anyone draw like this?!!? Is Katana leaning on Metamorpho's leg?

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"WEEE.... I'M HIGH!"

TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Look at this image; apart from the horrible art (Grace in particular), the heights of the characters don't match. Grace is 7 feet tall, but she looks no taller than Metamorpho, who is eleven inches shorter (granted, he is a shapeshifter), and barely half a foot taller than Thunder, who is 5'7". Also, the only thing making Thunder the 5 inches higher than she should be, when compared to Katana, is her 'fro. And I have no idea how tall Captain Boomerang II is, but Batman is 6'2" and Nightwing is only four inches shorter, not a full foot shorter as it looks here.


Now look below, Metamorpho looks taller than Grace, and Katana is definitely taller than Thunder.


And finally, on the last page, Batman is barely half a head taller than Nightwing.


NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, actually, since he got all the character's proportions wrong, and couldn't even be consistent with them, I'm counting this as two separate nits of 10.
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"MY HOMETOWN OF UMLAUTOWN."

TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Nunzio DeFilippis & Christina Weir (writers) and/or John J. Hill (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page five, panel one, Nightwing, in a narrator's box, refers to his previous hometown as Bludhaven, when it's called Blüdhaven.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"ARTIST'S RENDITION."

TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 6, Captain Boomerang talks about Batman holding the death of Jack Drake (Robin's dad) over him, since it was caused (materially) by his father. An image of what could be Boomer's idea of what happened is shown, and it doesn't match at all what was shown in Identity Crisis #6. Look below, on the left we got Identity Crisis, and on the right we've got this comic book.


Robin's expression being different, his costume not being in Batman's hand can be overlooked, as it could be a moment later than the original image. Even Jack Drake's body being in a different place, and without the boomerang sticking from his chest can be explained by this being Boomer's idea of what happened... but why does none of the bodies there look like Captain Boomerang or Jack Drake? Who is that blonde person with long flowing hair? It's obvious that Williams at least glanced at the original panel, because the room looks like the original one, and the position of one of the bodies mirrors that of Jack Drake's (but not its placement), but he straight up disregarded it.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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"I JUST RAID GIFT SHOPS IN OZ."

TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Nunzio DeFilippis & Christina Weir (writers) and/or John J. Hill (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 14, Captain Boomerang says that the boomerang he just threw is wooden. Are we supposed to buy that he uses wooden boomerangs?

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"SHAZAM, CAPTAIN MARVEL, WHO THE HELL CARES?"

TITLE: Outsiders: Five Of A Kind.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Nunzio DeFilippis & Christina Weir (writers) and/or John J. Hill (letterer), and/or Rachel Gluckstern (associate editor) & Joan Hilty (editor).

NIT-TO-PICK: The last page of the story says that the next book is "Katana & Shazam!", but the "Next in..." spot on the following page says "Katana and Captain Marvel....". To confuse matters further, the image for next issue shows Katana and Billy Batson, who is currently Shazam.

NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"QUINN..."

TITLE: Queen & Country.

ISSUE: 32.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer) and/or Douglas E. Sherwood (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: All good things must come to an end, and this is the last issue of Queen & Country. At least for now, because Greg Rucka promises a second series some time in the future. Rucka hasn't been able to pay this book the attention it deserves, and he's responsible enough to admit it and pull the plug from it, or at least put in cold storage. He also promises that some time in the near future there'll be a new Declassified mini, with Tara Chace as the star. Can't wait, this is one of my favorite books.

In this case, when Paul Crocker and Angela Cheng discuss support for his agents in Baghdad, Paul says "angents" instead of "agents".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"...AND KOUNTRY."

TITLE: Queen & Country.

ISSUE: 32.

CULPRIT: Greg Rucka (writer) and/or Douglas E. Sherwood (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: When the Iraqis that have Tara and others captive are filming a statement to precede their execution, the one who's speaking says "(...) their war agains Islam.", and it should read "against".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"YES, THEY'RE STILL IN THE LAUNDRY!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 489.

CULPRIT: Jason Keith (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page six, Johnny Storm's uniform is a traditional FF blue one, when he and Ben, as mentioned before, are using black uniforms these days.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"SOLDIERS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN CIVILIANS."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 489.

CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Storm says on page 17, about the Morlock cell led by Masque "Have they truly strayed this far?", after seeing how they killed several O*N*E* agents; but this is right after they disfigured a trainful of civilians.

NIT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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So, a whopping 31 nits, but a measly 5.6 Bazzars average; we had a lot of low-rated ones. This week we (we who?) are giving out a lot of HNS badges. and in fact, here's an incentive for collecting them. I hereby create the Honorary Nitpicker Scout Corps, with a rank structure loosely based on the Galactic Empire's Navy (from Star Wars, of course). I am the one and only Grand Admiral of the HNS Corps, and the ranks (and amount of badges you need to be promoted) are as follow:

(NOTE: This has been updated to reflect current values. MaGnUs, 2009.)

High Admiral 131-infinite
Admiral 101-130
Rear Admiral 81-100
Vice Admiral 66-80
Commodore 51-65
Captain 41-50
Commander 26-40
Lieutenant Commander 16-25
Lieutenant 6-15
Ensign 1-5

This week, we've got a badge each for Miss Kitty Fantastico, Bea, Roy, Trasgo, and Brecht. Bea and Roy still need to sort out who gets the badge for the Teen Titans Go! nit from last week, and see who has one more than the rest of the crew. From now on, you can sign with your ranks, if you like. I'll do it every now and then, when it fancies me. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!
Grand Admiral MaGnUs, HNS Corps

The Nitpicker #33.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

This time we come out on Thursday (alright, Friday), I've got to face it, I'll never be able to hold a fixed day schedule; but at least I'm keeping the weekly schedule most of the time. I'd like you all to welcome a new site to the family of Nitpicker syndicators, the Independent Comics Site, or ICS for shorts. It just opened on August 1st, and I'm very happy to be a member of the staff. Everybody, go to ICS and sign-up for the forums and all.

You'll find the ICS link on the sidebar of the Nitpicker's blog from this week on, and you'll also find my DeviantArt gallery, where I post photos of me in costumes and other stuff. In fact, for a good look at my new avatar/profile pic, go there. I really love my new profile pic, it gives that mad scientist (Sons of Ether, specifically) vibe I tend to give people.

Before the nits, it's time for The Nitpicker's Pick of The Week. The pick for best book of the week is a tie between Amazing Spider-Man #542 and Doktor Sleepless. This week's Amazing Spider-Man is a great conclusion to the story arc, with good art by Ron Garney, and an even better script by J. Michael Straczynski. The way Peter Parker (not Spider-Man) pwns Kingpin, and there's no other word for what he does, is nothing short of pure magic. We all knew Peter wasn't going to kill Kingpin, but I remained skeptic as to how JMS was going to end this arc in a proper fashion, but he did it perfectly.

Look at these three pages from the issue, which had me wanting to stand up and clap vigorously, as I cried out (not really, but I did cry in) "PURE MAGIC!"

Doktor Sleepless also gets to inaugurate yet another new feature on this column, the Quote of the Week, with "Electricity can only be replenished by whisky. This is actual physics. Don't argue with me, I am a doktor." The quote of the week won't necessarily belong to the best book of the week, but in this case, it did belong to one of them.

The pick for worst book of the week was, without a doubt, Onslaught Reborn #4. And I read Battlestar Galactica this week. Jeph Loeb is not even trying to write an actual plot or script, and Rob Liefeld is... well, Rob Liefeld. I'd also like to point you to two other comics sites this week. First I want to spotlight a specific post on The Absorbascon, where Scipio explains why there's 52 universes in the DC multiverse. And for seconds, I'd like you to check out this wonderful review of Wolverine #55 by Paul O'Brien of the X-Axis (thanks to Bored for pointing me to it).

He completely tears down Loeb (speak of the devil), in such a way that he deserves nothing less than a HNS (Honorary Nitpicker Scout, I'm tired of writing the whole thing each time). I'll have to write him to let him know. Check out this quote from Paul's review "They're mad, they're ancient, they're wolflike... and they're colour-coded. Inane lupine retcons, tonight on Sick Sad World.", and tell me if it doesn't sound like something I'd write (plus, he also likes Daria, apparently). Who also gets an HNS this is The Guvnor Paul C, of my regulars, for spotting a nit in my column which gets reported this week. So, here's their badge, and let's get on with those damned nits:

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"I DON'T KNOW KARATE, BUT I KNOW CR-AZY!"

TITLE: All-New Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe A-Z Update.
ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of a number of writers; as no invidivual credit is given for the entries.

NIT-TO-PICK: On the abilities/accessories section of Paladin's profile, it says he is proficient in Tae Kwan Do; but the martial art is called Tae Kwon Do. A Kwan is one of the schools or styles of Tae Kwon Do.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"THIS IS NOT THE SECOND RATING YOU'RE LOOKING FOR!

TITLE: All-New Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe A-Z Update.
ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (head writer/coordinator), and/or any of a number of writers; as no invidivual credit is given for the entries.

NIT-TO-PICK: On Crusader's profile, page 64, his abilities/accessories state that those ratings with a slash and a second rating, as marked by an asterisk, reflect his ratings with and without Freedom Ring's ring. However, his Fighting Skills has only one score, but it's still marked with an asterisk. It either shouldn't have that asterisk, or it should have a second rating.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"I'M WEARING CONTACT LENSES, IT'S A FAD HERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE."

TITLE: Black Panther V4.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Francis Portela (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Page 19, panel 3, the Black Panther removes his mask and his eyes (or at least the only one you can see, his left one), is all blank, no pupil, nothing, as if he was still wearing his mask.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"I DON'T GOT IT... COMMAND OF THE SPANISH LANGUAGE, THAT IS.

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Now, this book is so consistently good, and so fun, that if it hadn't been for Amazing Spider-Man and Doktor Sleepless, it would have been this week pick for best book. In fact, it harkens back to old school Spider-Man. It's got all that stuff about the hero learning the ropes and all, only Jaime has family and friends supporting him as they know his secret identity.

Anyway, in this case, as it is most of the time with this book, the Spanish language is attacked. On page two's single panel, Blue Beetle rescues a child, and is in the process of rescuing a woman, so he says "Señora, aqui. Yo lo tengo." Well... the "Señora, aqui." is a bit weird, but it's correct, grammar-wise. However, the "Yo lo tengo part." is incorrect. It sounds like Rogers wanted to have BB say "I got it." or "I got you.". Those phrases would have been, respectively, "Lo tengo." (if he referred to having the kid), or "La tengo." (if he was reassuring the lady that he had her); there shouldn't be any "Yo", which means "I", since it doesn't fit in this situation. And if he's trying to reassure the lady, then he's got the gender of the verb wrong..

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, I'm gonna go soft with Rogers this time.
<-------------------------------->
"Ñ!

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer) and/or Pat Brosseau (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Apart from that little mistake above, Rogers was doing great, using opening question marks for his Spanish questions; but all good things must come to an end. On page 7, panel 3, Brenda says "pinata", and the word is "piñata". Below you'll see, for comparison, how it's done. This is a narrator's box from issue 3 of Empire, a miniseries DC published a couple of years ago, and that I just read the other day. Letters in the book were by "Comicraft", no individual letterer named.


NIT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IJOIJOIJO

TITLE: Blue Beetle V7.

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: John Rogers (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: One more here, on page 22, panel 3, Jaime's son says "... you saved so many people, mi hijo"; again, like a few issues ago (although that time it was J. Torres), but in this case, it's not correct even if he indeed was Odin talking to Thor. If he said "hijo mío", "mijo", "m'ijo" or even "m'hijo", that'd be acceptable, but this is incorrect.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SOMETHING'S MISSING...

TITLE: The Nitpicker.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer)

NIT-TO-PICK: Alright, so it's not actually a comic, but it's mea culpa, folks. The introduction for issue 29 was missing the whole first paragraph, at least in my own blog (it was present in the "syndicated" sites). It should have read like this:

"So, here we are for this week’s column… short and sweet one, both because I only found 10 nits this week (just barely meeting the quota I established for the weekly column), and because since I’d finished reading all last week’s books on Friday, and it’s Tuesday morning when I’m writing this (the intro, outro, and headlines, in that order, are the last things I write). However, since I still need to edit some images and touch up some other details, I’ll hold it off until Wednesday night my place, or even, if it takes that long, past midnight and already into Thursday."

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars, it was a big chunk, but it was only my weekly exposition on how I worked on that column.
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"I LEARNED COLORING AT THE MOOSE BAUMANN ACADEMY!

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller) and Thomas Chu (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Yay, Keith Giffen is on the book! Of course, that doesn't stop me from finding a lot of nits; however, as was the case with 52, I don't think many of the pencilling nits are his fault. Yes, he could be responsible for some, but even if I can't see his layouts for Countdown (like I did for some of 52's issues), I know enough of how he works them to more or less guess when he's to blame.

In this case, page 7, panel 2, Mary Marvel is obviously wearing her costume; which includes gloves that are joined with the sleeves, but on panel 3, she's clapping and she has no gloves on. It's obviously García's fault because he drew fingernails on her left hand, and it's also Chu's fault for not noticing and coloring the hands over.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Oh, Holly Robinson's hair length was actually consistent this issue.
<-------------------------------->
"ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY.

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Page 21, panel 3, shows us that Oracle is spying on the Penguin (and by extension, on Pied Piper and Trickster), via a camera on his wine cellar. Problem is, we're supposed to believe that Oracle (master of technology and eyes and ears of the superhero community) would use a camera the size of my webcam (and therefore completely visible), and that Penguin would never catch that.

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE VIGILANTISM.

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller) and Thomas Chu (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Oh. My. God. Look at the image below, this is supposed to be the Question, aka Renee Montoya:


ARGH! DAMMIT! Have García or Chu NEVER read a Question comic? Did they even read 52? Where they at least given reference materials on how the Question's mask is supposed to look like? It doesn't bloody look like the answer to any of those questions is yes. First of all, even if we leave aside the exaggerated depth of the eyes on the mask, there's too many wrinkles, it looks too much like a mask, and not like real-looking artificial skin.

Second, both for Vic Sage and for Montoya, the Mask stops where their hairline starts, so it looks like a featureless face. This looks like Montoya is wearing an opaque condom on her head with her pony tail coming out of the hole. Lastly, and not worse than the shape of the mask, is the color Chu's given this. Again people, it's SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FEATURELESS FACE, LIKE REAL SKIN!!!! Not like an obvious rubber mask!

For the umpteenth time, LOOK AT THE FUCKING REFERENCES FOR THE CHARACTERS YOU'RE GOING TO DRAW OR COLOR!!!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, in fact, this is going to count double. Yes, double, as if it was a 20, fuck dammit all to hell!
<-------------------------------->
"NOT SO INFINITE EARTHS...

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer/penciller, but for his writing in this case).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the backup story, "History Of The Multiverse", on page 22, panel 2, one of the Monitors says that the Earth that came to existence after Crisis On Infinite Earth was "a fusion of Earths-One and Two." However, as anyone who's read COIE knows, that Earth is a fusion of the five remaining Earths, namely, Earths-One, Two, Four, S, and X.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHICH SUPERMAN ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 40.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (writer/penciller, but for his pencilling in this case).

NIT-TO-PICK: Right behind New Earth Superman, to the reader's right, there's a gray-templed Superman that's supposed to be Earth-Two Kal-L, but his S shield is drawn incorrectly.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"UNDERSTAD THIS, THERE'S A LETTER MISSING.

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2.

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Dave Gibbons (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Amazingly, I'm not complaining about a coloring error in a GL book (btw, me not using my Green Lantern t-shirt wearing avatar anymore does not mean my GL love has diminished; quite the contrary). This time, it's a writing or lettering one; on page 13, panel one, Stel says "receied" instead of "received".

NIT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"INVICIBLE NO MORE?

TITLE: (The Invincible?) Iron Man (Director Of S.H.I.E.L.D.?) V2.

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Whoever names the books in the indicia and all that.

NIT-TO-PICK: This book used to be called "The Invincible Iron Man", however, World War Hulk checklists reference it as "Iron Man, Director Of S.H.I.E.L.D.". Five issues ago, it changed to that name in the title, but the indicia and the credtis page still say it's called "Invincible..." What gives?

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M WEARING A WIG.

TITLE: (The Invincible?) Iron Man (Director Of S.H.I.E.L.D.?) V2.

ISSUE: 20.

CULPRIT: Butch Guice (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Clay Quatermain appears from page 15 on, but he looks nothing like he's ever looked, particularly in his highest-profile gig ever, as a supporting character in She-Hulk's book. Look below, the image on the left is from She-Hull, and the one on the right is from Iron Man.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"WADDAYA KNOW STRETCHO? YOUR POWERS ARE LIKE AN STD!

TITLE: Onslaught Reborn.

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: J. Scott Cambpell (cover penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Look at the Invisible Woman's fingers. They are as long as her forearms. And don't get me started on Campbell's inability to draw feet.


Bored made me read this book, and I regret it, I didn't agree with the nits he found, but I still found some, of course.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, this surpasses any artistic license.
<-------------------------------->
"ROB LIEFELD, YOU BASTARD!"

TITLE: Onslaught Reborn.

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: Rob Liefeld (brain-damaged handless monkey with pencils, on crack).

NIT-TO-PICK: I refuse to call Rob Liefeld a penciller, in case you haven't noticed. He's never been featured in this column, and he should have, back when he did those Titans issues. Fact is, I don't consider bad art to be nits, even if I might complain every now and now, but in this case, he really screwed up.

On page 13, he... hey, hear that bell ring? It means it's time for... Spoooooooot the Niiiiiiiiiit! Look at the page below, and tell me what the problem is. The prize? Ehh... I might throw you a HNS badge. I've even included the rating below it, so you have one more clue.


NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I'm not gonna say anything else, but this is a very easy one.
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"THEY'RE ALL RUSKIES, SO WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

TITLE: Paolo Parent's Dust.

ISSUE: 01 of 02.

CULPRIT: Mink (writer). What kind of name is Mink? These people and their one-name identities...

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 12, Stalin speaks to General Kalashnikova, but the one who answers (as if he was Kalashnikova) is the person introduced as General Rasputin (Soviet Intelligence, how clever) the page before.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"WATCH OUT SCOTTY! WITHOUT THE PROPPER BADGE THE BAD GUYS WILL THINK YOU'RE JUST A REDSHIRT!

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: Steve Conley (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: Impossible to pinpoint to just the one page, but the art is incredibly lacking in details. It's not as bad as the art on the TNG mini I've hated so much, but it's still like Conley only put half of his energy into it. Scipio, of The Absorbascon says that he liked the art, because it has a stylized, Golden Age feel to it. I'm sorry, but this is not stylized, it's crap.

Like I said before, bad art does not necessarily make for nits, but on most pages, half or more of the Starfleet badges are empty, not showing the symbol of the division the officer works in.

NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"MONTOYA! I FOUND THEM!

TITLE: Star Trek: Year Four.

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: Steve Conley (penciller/inker).

NIT-TO-PICK: Badges non-withstanding, look at this image from page 22:


Yes, those are supposed to be McCoy and Kirk. And as if that wasn't enough, look at this image from the next panel:


Ooooh... that's where the Question's real masks went! That's why Montoya wears a condom on her head!

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Please, draw details into your art.
<-------------------------------->
"WE'RE TIRED OF BEING COMPARED TO ONE ANOTHER."

TITLE: (Supergirl And The) Legion Of Super-Heroes V5.

ISSUE: 32.

CULPRIT: Tony Bedard (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 4, where credits and roll call are given, the powers of Mekt and Garth (Lightning Lad) Ranzz are described respectively as "bioelectrics" and "commands electrical force". Now, this might be something that changed with the new reboot, but all three Ranzz siblings (except for Ayla's Light Lass phase) had the same exact powers.

NIT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M SMARTER THAN YOU, QUIT STARING!

TITLE: (Supergirl And The) Legion Of Super-Heroes V5.

ISSUE: 32.

CULPRIT: Dennis Calero (artist) and/or Nathan Eyring (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: I know he's an alien and all that, but Brainiac 5's eyes should not look like this:


That's an image from page 7, panel 4, and I haven't paid attention to Brainy's eye color in this new version of the Legion, but they're usually blue. I'm gonna let that little thing pass, since I don't feel like looking through 30+ issues of this book, that I don't have on hand right now.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"NOW, I'LL LIFT THIS TANK AND *CRACK* AAAAAH!!! MY ARMS!!!

TITLE: Teen Titans V3.

ISSUE: 49.

CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: The art in this book is sucking lately, but sometimes they take it too far. I know that Wonder Girl and Supergirl are supposed to be ultra-hot teens, but they're usually drawn in a healthy way (depending on the artist) and not as anorexic dolls with arms that look like twigs that will snap at the first attempt to move them. And certainly, even if you want to draw them like awful role models, like Super Paris Hilton or Wonder Lindsay Lohan (two women I find completely unattractive, by the way); you don't draw something like this Wonder Girl from page 21, panel 5:


NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazars. She has the shoulders of a body builder, and the arms of a baby.
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"HIGH CALIBER ORDINANCE.

TITLE: Ultimate Fantastic Four.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 9, panel one, Carol Danvers threatens the Silver Surfer with her standard issue shield handgun, which in her own words is a "point-thirty-eight". Are we supposed to believe that S.H.I.E.L.D. outfits their agents (who deal with metahuman threats most of the time) with a measly .38 gun? Not even a 9 MM? I would give them .50 cal vibranium rounds, dammit!

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, Mike Carey doesn't seem to know that arming a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent with the same caliber that a Uruguayan police officer carries is like arming them with a pop gun.
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"ANOTHER MOOSE BAUMANN ALUMNI.

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Peter Pantazis (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Pete Pantazis usually does a kick-ass job, but on page 13, panel 4, somebody forgot to tell him that Hal Jordan's gloves are white. Check it out:

"Not tonight Carol, I've got a headache."

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it's not a big thing, but this is a very well known character, who's basic costume design hasn't changed since the early 60s.
<-------------------------------->
"PROFESSOR X SWITCHED HIS EYES WITH MINE!!!

TITLE: X-Men V2.

ISSUE: 201.

CULPRIT: Edgar Delgado (colorist). By the way, I love it how many books today have many Latino creators; we're still lacking in writers (and even J. Torres, who turned out to be Philippino), but art-wise we've got teams like the Brazilians in Black Canary, or Humberto Ramos, Carlos Cuevas and Edgard Delgado on this book.

NIT-TO-PICK: I'm happy with the increasing amount of Latinos working in mainstream comics, but I'm hating Humberto Ramos' art on this book. His manga/cartoon style used to be appealing to me, but the cartoony elements have grown too much for my taste. His style could be good for a book like, say, Young Justice or Impulse, or even Spider-Man (all of which he used to draw), but not for X-Men. And God, he's gonna be doing Runaways now...

Look at this, do we really need faces like these in X-Men?

Speaking of these faces, Kitty Pryde's, from page 13, panel 3, besides being completely disgusting, she's got blue eyes. Kitty's eyes are brown (or hazel, as her Marvel profile has it), in fact, she's one of the few comic book characters who doesn't have blue eyes...

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, but it will keep rising.
<-------------------------------->
"A TRUE COLOSSUS.

TITLE: X-Men V2.

ISSUE: 201.

CULPRIT: Humberto Ramos (penciller).

NIT-TO-PICK: Look at the image below, from page 13. Am I the only one who notices the gross disparity between Colossus hand in the first panel, and his hand on the second one? For God's sake, his hand is human sized on the first panel, and on the other one, his fist is the size of Kitty's torso. Yes Humberto, we get it, Colossus is big in his armored form (which he seems to be in for no particular reason), but this is too much.


Matter of fact, he's bigger, but still human sized in the first panel, but then he's got about three feet on Kitty! Shadowcat is 5`6", and Colossus (both according to Marvel Universe), in armored form, is 7.5. Looking at the second image, it could be correct, but it's still completely out of scale with the first one, where you can see that if Kitty were to stand up, she'd be less than two heads shorter than Piotr.

NIT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars, and I'm being nice. I can hate how your current style works for X-Men, Humberto, but a cartoony style is not a license for being inconsistent.
<-------------------------------->
Wow, this was quite a column, wasn't it? 27 nits, one of them doubles, 10s galore, and we got a 6.9 Bazzars average, pretty high. That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!