The Dissector #184.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Why does every BBQ I have end with a dead hippie being molested?" Franky, Billy The Kid's Old Timey Oddities And The Ghastly Fiend Of London #2 (The Goon backup story).

And here we are, still playing catch up. This is the column for books released on 10/27; and another month ends with that week. Don't be surprised if I churn out another column within the week... but don't be disappointed if I don't.

Last week's DT! was cracked by Darryn, who correctly mentioned the fact that both Supergirl and Batman (Dick Grayson) are members of the current JLA line up, and it wouldn't be logical for her to not know if he was out on actual JLA business. Darryn gets a badge for that, and he also gets an apology for me not mentioning he had solved the previous one as well. In fact, I didn't even mention the DT! from #182 last column, which was that Cannonball cannot float in mid-air without his blast field showing. Darryn gets a badge for cracking that one, and he gets a second badge in apology too.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Captain America: Patriot #3, not much that I can say that I haven't said before in this column about that book. In fact, this is the third issue of the book, and each issue has been Best Book Of The Week when it came out. Karl Kesel and Mitch & Bettie Breitweiser do a top-notch job. Worst Book Of The Week was Superman #704... G. Willow Wilson can't salvage JMS's boring storyline, and much less if this is what the art by Leandro Oliveira (and Rod Reis's uncharacteristic bad coloring) looks like. DC, this is Superman, the namesake title of your most important character... don't allow this stuff to happen.

The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man (Harry Osborn's eyes are colored incorrectly), The Avengers V4 (inconsistent lettering, Tony Stark's eyes shouldn't be brown), Avengers And The Infinity Gauntlet (Hulk's eyes are colored incorrectly, his size is wrong and he changes sizes, Doom's eyes are wrong too), Avengers Vs. Pet Avengers (for the nth time, Lockheed doesn't have plates), Black Widow V4 ("foriegn"), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Oracle (Alfred's eyes and hair are colored incorrectly... ALFRED, FOR GOD'S SAKE... ALMOST BALD, BLACK/GRAY HAIR, BLUE EYES!!!), Captain America: Patriot (accented letters), Fantastic Four V1 ("a hour"), Shadowland: Moon Knight (accented letter), Spider-Man Vs. Vampires (vampires don't have a society? bullshit, it flies against the large vampire storyline currently running in the X-Men), Star Wars: Invasion - Rescues (again, The New Jedi Order era is not about Luke Skywalker and his descendants), Supergirl V6 (how is Saturn Girl nicknamed Emm, when her name is Imra?), Superman V1 (Lois Lane should not be an orange belt in a martial art, given her history, she should be a black belt), Teen Titans V3 ("docter"?), Thunderbolts (Juggernaut's eyes are colored wrong), Time Masters: Vanishing Point (Hal Jordan's badge both in the cover and inside the book is wrong, and his boots get colored white in a panel), Ultimate Avengers 3 ("athrax"), Ultimate Mystery (Nathaniel Essex gets referred to as "Sterns", a scene has all the speech balloons mixed up between four characters), Uncanny X-Men (Cannonball's power description is incomplete), X-Men: Curse Of The Mutants - X-Men Vs. Vampires (Rockslide is drawn much smaller than he should be).
<-------------------------------->
"TIME LIMITATIONS."

TITLE: Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Ra's Al Ghul (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza (writer).

DISSECTION: I refuse to believe that Bruce's stupid Insider armor needs twenty four hours between uses of the JLA teleporter. It's ridiculous, no matter how much I turn it around in my head. This is BATMAN, who (also stupidly) supposedly BUILT AND PROGRAMMED A SATELLITE TO SPY ON SUPERHUMANS.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
""

TITLE: DC Universe: Legacies (DC)

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Len Wein (writer).

DISSECTION: Again, there is no way the main character could have been alive while the original (Golden) Guardian was first active, and now meet his cloned version?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"CREDIT, WHERE CREDIT IS DUE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 183.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: As mentioned before, I forgot to include the solution and the "solver" of the previous DT! in column #183. JohnnyDoe noticed this, and gets a badge.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FUSILLADE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 183.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Donald313 noticed the following: I wrote "Hous of M", "colored buy Jeromy Cox", "his last" (instead of "his last name"), "there a couple of" (instead of "there are").

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each, four badges more for Donald313... who now surpasses JohnnyDoe as highest ranking active member in the HDSC (below me). Both are Commanders, Don has 33 badges, and JD 32.
<-------------------------------->
"OH MY GOD! WHAT'S NEXT, SUPERPOWERED BANK ROBBERS?"

TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Marc Guggenheim (writer).

DISSECTION: Really, Alan Scott is surprised and shocked that super powered terrorists exist?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FOREVER DISSECTION 2."

TITLE: X-Men Forever 2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Mike Grell (penciller).

DISSECTION: Spot this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. There are also other lettering, coloring, pencilling and writing dissections in this issue and issue #9.
<-------------------------------->
Average this time is 6.1 Bazzars in forty-eight dissections. Regular. Now, Cover Of The Week is by Sean Murphy, for Hellblazer: City Of Demons:


I'm not sold on the Pinocchio nose on John, but the book is enjoyable, and this cover is nice. Moments Of The Week! First, Captain America is not afraid to hit a woman when she deserves it:


Of course, she deserves it for being a racist and a criminal, not for being female. Now, who does Ben Grimm have dinner with when he's human-looking for a day?


Stan and Jack, of course! And how do you purge bad luck from your gaming dice?


The list of ingredients is pretty hard to get... And guess who's a father again?


Yup. That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #183.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"You can see why he gives us so much pleasure. All that arcane knowledge in the hands of a self-destructive fuck-up. It makes for wonderful viewing." Nergal, about John Constantine, Hellblazer #272.

Hello all! This is the fifth anniversary column of The Dissector!!! Formerly known as The Nitpicker's Column, it was first published in issue #549 of the Comic Book Electronic Network Magazine, on 11/11/05. It's been five years in which a lot has happened to me, including a new job (not long after starting the column); my son was already a year old back then, but he's obviously grown up a lot. I'm older, my hair's greyer, and I'm fatter... I might be wiser too, but I doubt it.

Culprits in that first column were Haden Blackman (writer of a Rogue Squadron mini), Warren Elis (writer for JLA Declassified), Greg Rucka (writer, for Queen & Country), Brian Michael Bendis (writer for Hous Of M), Jeromy Cox & Guy Major (colorists, for Infinite Crisis), Phil Jimenez (artist, for Infinite Crisis), and Nick J. Napolitano (letterer, for Infinite Crisis). Jimenez and Napolitano don't come around much, and Blackman hasn't been on the column again, basically because he's mostly written Clone Wars Adventures, Jango Fett, and other Star Wars stuff from characters and eras I don't care about... however, he did write the comic for The Force Unleashed, in which, apart from considering it lame, I didn't find any errors in... and I have The Force Unleashed II in a reading pile... so... you never know.

Bendis has come back regularly, but rarely for anything too big, and Rucka has been around less, but no horrible mistakes either. Major is one of the most prolific colorists around, so he obviously pops up here and there; like anyone else who publishes that much work. Jeromy Cox, however... well, he's responsible for the Robin cape-debacle, one of my favorite dissections of all time, as early as column #2, and he's often featured in the column for getting like, not one eye color in an issue right.

Funny thing? I quote myself from that column when explaining the layout and working of the column "(...) the main responsible for the mistake is, usually the writer, sometimes the artist, and, rarely, somebody else, like a letterer or colorist (...)". Yeah, rarely the letterer or colorist... boy, was I naive of what? Read that first column, and tell me if you see some improvement on my writing. I've said on other anniversaries that I did notice a difference, but now... I really don't.

On another personal note, I just made contact with a fellow comic blogger by the name of Martin Gray, and he reviewed "Teenagers From The Future", the book about the Legion Of Super-Heroes I wrote an essay for. Not only that, he wrote the following:

"My favourite essay is Martin A Perez's Fashion from the future, or 'I swear, Computo Forced Me To Wear This'. It's written at the level of a great fanzine article - light, entertaining and insightful."

Ego boosts are good for the soul, my friends. I'd like to also invite you to "like" the Facebook page for Teenagers From The Future.

Let's get on with the actual column, shall we? This is for comics released on 10/20; as usual, with some older stuff thrown in when I read it after publishing date. Here are The Dissector's Picks Of The Week: Best Book Of The Week was The Sixth Gun #5; a pretty interesting (if not necessarily groundbreaking) script by Cullen Bunn; good art (and lettering) by Brian Hurtt... and I'm assuming acceptable colors are by Hurtt as well, for lack of any other credit. A supernatural western adventure with magic guns? Win. Worst Book Of The Week was Soldier Zero #1... first of all, the whole "STAN LEE'S..." shtick gets tiresome, I love Stan, but he hasn't done anything worth getting excited about than play "Stan Lee" in numerous media outlets... his writing days are long away from his heyday. And if I open the book and find he's not even credited as creator or plotter, but just as "Grand Poobah", it gets even more difficult to take this seriously. Paul Cornell's writing is not close to his usual level, Javier Pina's art is not bad, but it's not enough to turn this into a book that's worth anything beyond a quick flip in the comic shop. As I tweeted after reading it: "Soldier Zero = Captain Marvel (Batson) + Blue Beetle (Reyes) + Green Lantern (Jordan) + Hulk/4 = Bland. Sorry Stan."

The Rundown: Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne (Tim Drake says he was Batman's partner longer than anyone, and I don't think that adds up, he went solo pretty early in his career, I don't think it nets him more time partnering with Batman than it does Dick Grayson), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Commissioner Gordon (accented letter), DC Universe Halloween Special 2010 (Spanish dialogue from Blue Beetle is within translation brackets, but untranslated), Hellblazer (the plural of succubus is "succubi", not "succubae"), Hulk V3 (the designation of the comets changes from one story to the other), Ides Of Blood ("pleaures" instead of "pleasures"), Justice League Of America V2 (Batman's chest emblem is wrong, and it changes a few times throughout the issue), Power Girl V2 (Batman's belt, glove and chest emblem are wrong), Shadowland: Power Man (characters "refresh browser history" to see what another one was looking at on his computer... but you don't "refresh browser history"... you refresh a page you have on your browser, or you check the browser history...), Star Trek: Captains Log: Jellico (a science officer's uniform changes color to a security/engineering uniform between pages), Supergirl V6 ("supplicants", again... dictionaries don't bite), X-Factor V3 (Wolfsbane and Rictor's eyes are colored incorrectly... buy Jeromy Cox!).
<-------------------------------->
"LET'S START WITH ME, SHALL WE?"

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: #182

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I wrote "R'as" instead of "Ra's", and JohnnyDoe called me on it, getting a badge. As a Commander, JohnnyDoe is the highest active member of the Honorary Dissector Scout Corps, after myself (I might be the Grand Admiral, but I'm there on the frontlines with you, guys). High Admiral Nysie holds an honorary rank for designing my logo; and ViceAdmiral Snakebyte is not among my regular readers lately. Keep at it, JD, you need ten more badges to make Captain.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"WHO ARE THOSE GUYS? WHAT IS THIS, MOSAIC?"

TITLE: Green Lantern Corps V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 53.

CULPRIT: Tyler Kirkham (penciller) and Nei Rufino (colorist)

DISSECTION: What? Bystanders on Korugar are colored like humans, some lighter, others darker, and it's not a trick of the light or anything, because in the same light as Kyle Rayner, many share his skin color. But that's not the worst thing... they're dressed, unequivocally, in Earth clothes: jackets, baseball caps, hoodies. People from Korugar have pink or red skin, and they certainly shouldn't be wearing normal Earth garments.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, double. Also, Sinestro's ring is colored like his skin in a panel (that's where all the pink ink went!).
<-------------------------------->
"FUCKING FIRES, HOW DO THEY WORK?"

TITLE: Legion Of Super-Heroes V6 (DC).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Paul Levitz (writer).

DISSECTION: Cosmic Boy goes to the Legion Academy, and while he's reviewing the students, a fire breaks out nearby and they are the closest ones to respond. They go to the scene, and one student that has variable powers (Variable Lad), in this case uses them to become super smart and learn what the best way of putting out the fire is: using the powers of another student who can control chemical reactions (Chemical Kid), because fire is an oxidation. Uhm... and they needed a super intelligent being to figure that out?

Regardless of him being a student and not a battle-hardened Legionnaire, a guy whose powers are to control chemical reactions should think of that first, particularly in the 30th century, with the kind of education they have, plus any further education someone with chemical controlling powers should get on the subject. Controlling the oxidation should be a gut response from Chemical Kid, the same as Bataranging or punching a bank robber is Batman's!

Not to mention the fact that there's two veteran Legionnaires there (Cosmic Boy and Duplicate Girl), and a handful of other students, most of whom should have a pretty advanced science education when compared to today's teenagers or young adults. Anyone today with a barely decent education should know that a fire is a chemical reaction.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, there a couple of smaller accented letters, missing powers on Timber Wolf's description, and Gravity Kid (complete with a skin-showing costume a la Cosmic Boy at one point, but not that revealing, as he has pants) becomes super-heavy and uses "his mass" to create a firebreak (a crater, actually)... when it should be his weight. In the election "ad", Tenzil Kem's eyes are colored incorrectly. Still, despite some dissections, this book remains a great read.
<-------------------------------->
"OLD SCHOOL."

TITLE: The Nitpicker (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer without a moustache).

DISSECTION: Yup... the first column. I re-read it for this anniversary, and noticed I billed Jeromy Cox as "Jeremy". Good thing I didn't spell his last "Cocks".

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"FREE DOESN'T HAVE TO MEAN CHEAP."

TITLE: Spider-Man Saga V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: One Shot.

CULPRIT: Jeff Christiansen (handbook section overseer).

DISSECTION: The credits on one of the Kraven family profiles say "Art by Barry Kitson with Phillipe Briones (inset)", but there is no inset picture in the entry. Sidney spotted this one, and he gets a badge.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"DISSECT/THIS!"

TITLE: Superman/Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 77.

CULPRIT: Joshua Williamson (writer).

DISSECTION: What's wrong here? You must be up with current (six months to a year) comics for this one.


DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
So, an average of 6.1 Bazzars in thirty-two dissections. Cover Of The Week is Jim Lee's variant for Legion Of Super-Heroes #6:


Great "Brainy as the Thinker" cover. Simple, yet effective. Now, Moments Of The Week... first up, from an old issue of Knights Of The Dinner table, what happens when you trick players at a convention into joining a live action game of D-Day?


In the KODTverse, that... Next, curious as to why the Legion's newest "recruit" has been behaving heroically?


Uh-oh... this CAN'T backfire... Back to the present, the Insider is impressed that Oracle seems to know who he is:


YOU'RE WEARING A YELLOW UTILITY BELT! YOU HAVE A SUIT THAT GIVES YOU THE POWERS OF CLASSIC JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBERS! YOUR GLOVES HAVE BATMAN SPIKES!!! AND SHE'S THE FOREMOST EXPERT IN INFORMATION IN THE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY!!! STOP TREATING THIS INSIDER SHIT AS MYSTERIOUS, IT'S OBVIOUS TO ALL HIS FUCKING ALLIES (AND ANYONE WHO CAN ADD 2+2) THAT THAT'S BATMAN!!!!!

*sigh* What's next? Oh, I know, the solution to all problems:


LASERS! And for the end, another KODT moment:


I don't know, I've played with some people I'm not sure what step of the evolutionary ladder they were on... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #182.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"''Smoking while pregnant may seriously harm your baby's health'' I make a point of only buying packets with this warning... I figure the odds are it won't affect me. Though with my lifestyle, I can't rule it out." John Constantine, Hellblazer: City Of Demons #1.

Eventually, I will catch up... but not right now. Here's the column for comics released on 10/13 (mostly), so let's get on with it. Last column's DT!, or at least the gist of it, was cracked by Donald313... the problem is that the timeline in that Fantastic Four scene didn't fit. The problem is with the sliding timescale. The Fantastic Four got their powers at most 15 years ago; so if you make this 20 years ago, having Sue be 19 then and 39 now (a big stretch, because she shouldn't be 39, in Marvel's terms), sound files being something so outlandish would be stupid. There were other sound file formats in 1990; not mp3s exactly yet, at least not yet public; but the tech has existed for a long time... plus, they're wearing bell bottoms... both of them... I mean, you could have just worded the scene differently to achieve the same result, without fucking up continuity, know what I mean?

Now, The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are the following: Best Book Of The Week was Iron Man Legacy #7; good script by Fred Van Lente, nice art by Steve Kurth. I enjoy seeing The Pride in action, and Iron Man building himself up from his own broken pieces. Worst Book Of The Week? Well, Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Outsiders... geez, this series of one-shots is a failure. Bruce Wayne wearing power armor? The armor doesn't even have consistent powers or limits across the different one-shots; and how could anyone who knows Bruce be unable to notice it's him in that "Insider" suit? FOR GOD'S SAKE, HE'S GOT BAT-BLADES IN HIS GLOVES, A YELLOW UTILITY BELT, AND EVEN SORT-OF-BATARANGS!!! Worst of all, having read all the books now; only Katana, Oracle, and R'as notice on their own? Yes, the others suspect something, but Dick would notice faster than any of the others... The Outsiders book in particular has very bad art, and the writing, like in the rest of this series, leaves a lot to be desired.

The Rundown: The Amazing Spider-Man Presents: Black Cat (writer and editors retracted themselves from this, but in previous issues they'd referred as Felicia Hardy's dad as "The Cat", when he never used that or any codename... except, and they didn't mention this, in the Spider-Man animated series of the 90s...), Angel Vs. Frankenstein II ("incnetive" cover?), B.P.R.D.: Hell On Earth New World (why announce a new numbering if you keep the old?), Booster Gold V2 (Zamarons are not yellow-skinned humans... not even before revealing their true shape), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Catwoman (Selina's eyes are colored incorrectly), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Outsiders (all signs and writing in Markovia is in English), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Batman And Robin ("niow" instead of "now"), Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Batgirl (Damian is not a public member of the Wayne family, he shouldn't be making public appearances with them), Captain America: Forever Allies (inconsistent lettering in the "next month" page), Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors (wrong badges and rings), Incredible Hulks (Beast looks wrong), Iron Man: Titanium! (accented letters), JSA 80-Page Giant 2010 (several costume and hair and eye coloring errors), Shadowland (someone should teach artists how sai are gripped), Spike: The Devil You Know (San "Fransisco"?), Strange Tales II (Wolverine's eyes should be blue, not brown), Superman V1 (Perry's eyes are colored wrong), Titans V2 (I understand giving Ray Palmer blue eyes, even though they should be brown... but blond hair? Also, Arsenal's eyes are wrong, and Batman's belt and gloves), Untold Tales Of Blackest Night (Hal's badge, and... since when is Donna Troy Cassie Sandsmark's mentor?), Warlord Of Mars (the writer can't keep the names of the Martian characters right), X-Men V3 (sai grip, dammit, sai grip).
<-------------------------------->
"SHOW ME THE SHAPE OF YOUR... TRACER."

TITLE: Bruce Wayne: The Road Home - Red Robin (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Fabian Nicieza (writer) and/or Ramon Bachs (penciller).

DISSECTION: Not a bad issue; but nothing to write home about. My problem? The tracer Dick planted on Vicki Vale's bag was NOT shaped like a bat, yet now, for this series of one-shots, it is.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NEW DISSECTION FOREVER."

TITLE: New Mutants Forever (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Al Rio (penciller).

DISSECTION: So, what gives?


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"... THE SIZE OF MANHATTAN."

TITLE: New Mutants Forever (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: From the same man that gave us a Starjammer starship the size of Manhattan, and a coal-powered diesel train engine... now Warlock's made of "the primal substance of a star" and able to survive "temperatures hoter than the surface of the sun"??!?!?! Since when??!?!?!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Poppycock, Chris, poppycock. Also, there are several small accented letters, and I will NOT go with your "Nova Roma is in the Andes" idiocy, Chris.
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"THE UNWRITTEN CREATED BY MIKE CARREY AND PETER GROSE."

TITLE: The Unwritten (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 18.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).

DISSECTION: It's a story about writing and writers; and a journalist says "Hunter S. Thomson" instead of "Thompson"?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"I'M A BEAST, I DON'T UNDERSTAND TECHNOLOGY."

TITLE: X-Campus (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Francesco Artibani (writer) or Luigi Mutti (translator).

DISSECTION: "Gigaterabytes of nanites"? What? You either have gigabytes, or terabytes... and nanites are physical nanobots; not information, data... which is what you measure in bytes.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars each. Beast also refers to "the Sanskrit", and Logan's eyes are colored incorrectly.
<-------------------------------->
"MEDICAL SCIENCE, WHO CARES?"

TITLE: X-Campus (Marvel).

ISSUE: 04 of 04.

CULPRIT: Roberto Di Salvo (writer) or Luigi Mutti (translator).

DISSECTION: You can't have "anemic hemorrhage", you can have "hemorrhagic anemia". The term they used makes no medical sense.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
That's odd... despite several "10" ratings, the average was only 6.8 Bazzars in fifty dissections. Well, not important. Now, Cover Of The Week, from Tomb Of Terror, by Travel Foreman and Nathan Fairbairn:


Good job evoking the covers of those old horror books. Now, Moments Of The Week, first up Brainiac 5 does think of others:


Not too highly, but he does... Next, a robot with a sense of humor:


... and the correct laughter. Then, where is the Council Of The Spiders hiding?


My own backyard? Next, John Constantine, good neighbour:


He takes care of your mom! And Tony Stark...


pwnd! And who's Doctor Fate cribbin’ from?


Dr. Strange? Shame on you, Fate. And to finish this column, a peak at Kate Beaton's hilarious Spidery/Craven story for Strange Tales II:


I just love the faces she draws... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #181.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Why must M'sieu Charcuter consistently deny mon plan jetpack magnifique?" Frenchie, The Boys #47.

On time! On time! Here is the column for books released on the week of 10/06. Last week's DT! was cracked, after much deliberation, by Commander JohnnyDoe, who gets a badge. The guy tells Rogue he'll use gravity to kill her, augmenting the mass of her heart. But gravity doesn't increase your mass, it increases your weight, which is a product of your mass times gravity. Science fail!

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week was Superman: The Last Family of Krypton #3, last issue of the mini. Good resolution to a fun book. Worst Book Of The Week was Greek Street #16... subpar finish to what was, a readable book before.

The Rundown: Freedom Fighters V2 ("is" instead of "are"), JSA All-Stars (Power Girl is called Kara Zor-El instead of Zor-L), Spider-Man: Back in Quack (accented letters, and Bev's eyes change color between pages), Stargate: Daniel Jackson (Vala's hair has red highlights when the character has jet black hair), Taskmaster V2 (a story in Mexico... full of crappy Spanish and smaller accented letters), Ultimate Thor (accented letters), Uncanny X-Force ("devloped", smaller "ñ"), Unknown Soldier V4 (wrong German sentence), Young Allies (inconsistent credit lettering, Firestar's eyes are blue, then green).
<-------------------------------->
"GO WEST!"

TITLE: Doom Patrol V5 (DC).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Keith Giffen (writer) and/or Matthew Clark (penciller).

DISSECTION: David, one of the members of my faithful Honorary Dissector Scout Corps, noticed this one. Niles Caulder, with stolen Kryptonian powers, is said to be flying West from Manhattan, possibly towards Bialya, yet the monitor displays an arrow that points East from New York. Geography fail!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, Rita Farr's eyes are colored incorrectly as usual... oh, and David gets a badge and makes Lieutenant! He also reported the JSA All-Stars dissection; which Matt Sturges himself admitted to on his Twitter.
<-------------------------------->
"CUATRO FANTASTICOS."

TITLE: Fantastic Four In... Ataque Del M.O.D.O.K.! (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Tom Beland (writer).

DISSECTION: Dissect me this one:


DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. There are surprisingly very few Spanish language writing mistakes (just two)... but FORTY-THREE smaller accented letters or Ñs. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! In one issue, Dave Lanphear just jumped well ahead of his fellow letterers in dissections count...
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"THE MAIN ELF."

TITLE: R.E.B.E.L.S. (DC).

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Claude St. Aubin (penciller).

DISSECTION: No, Lobo doesn't have pointed ears.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE GRAY HOOD."

TITLE: Red Hood: The Lost Days (DC).

ISSUE: 05 of 06.

CULPRIT: Brian Reber (colorist).

DISSECTION: Jason Todd is trying to find a girl in a car that's, unwittingly, carrying a bomb. Over the phone, he asks her what kind of car she's in, and she says the car is red. But the colorist made the car gray or black...

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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"ABIN SUR: LAST OF THE UNGARANS."

TITLE: Superman: The Last Family Of Krypton (DC).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Renato Arlem (penciller).

DISSECTION: What's up with elven ears this week? Abin Sur gets them, when Ungarans do not have any visible feature that differentiates them from humans except their red skin (well, and males might be all bald, but I'm not sure about that).

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Lobo might have hair covering his ears, but Abin is a red cueball!
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A whopping eighty-two dissections this week, thanks to Dave Lanphear and his forty-three ones; with an average of 6.8 Bazzars; slightly higher than the usual, but still within normal limits. Cover Of The Week is this fun piece by Skottie Young:


I think Skottie's better suited to humorous stuff like this. First Moment Of The Week comes from R.E.B.E.L.S.:


A high intellect makes you a great spin doctor... Next, a good rousing speech from the most unlikely source:


Hercules! Herc 2.0, now with more godhead punch! And last, a romantic moment:


So that's why he chose a pornstar name! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!