The Dissector #121.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"My law partner told me the only job with a higher mortality rate than Gotham D.A. is a "red shirt" on "Star Trek"." Kate Spencer, Batman: Streets Of Gotham #1.

Here we are again, with the column for comics released on 06/17! No one cracked the DT! last time; the problem was that Nightwing's gloves weren't right; the blue portion of his costume continues down his wrist and middle and index finger.

Let's go with The Dissector's Picks Of The Week, now. Best Book Of The Week was Batman: Streets Of Gotham #1... solid, and while I liked Batman & Robin, this was more down to earth, and I enjoyed the Manhunter backup feature too. Worst Book Of The Week? Well, Superman/Batman #61 came out last week, and... "Penguello"? "The Ventrilomaker"? Please...
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"PHANTOM EYES."

TITLE: Action Comics (DC).

ISSUE: Annual #12.

CULPRIT: Mazi (colorist).

DISSECTION: Chris Kent's (I refuse to call him Lor-Zod) eyes are colored blue/green instead of brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"SPAIDER-MUN."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man Family (Marvel).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Fred Hembeck (writer, "The Adventures Of Peter Parker...").

DISSECTION: It's "sudoku", not "soduku". Peter Parker wouldn't make that mistake, even before he was Spider-Man, right?

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, "everybody", not "everbody".
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"I HOPE YOU GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME."

TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 15.

CULPRIT: Ariel Olivetti (colorist).

DISSECTION: Hope's eyes are colored blue instead of green.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"AXIS BANNER EXCHANGE."

TITLE: Captain America V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 600.

CULPRIT: Al Avison (penciller, "Red Skull's Deadly Revenge", first published in Captain America Comics #16, July, 1942).

DISSECTION: Inexplicably, the Red Skull wears a Japanese imperial flag on his chest; which eventually is swapped with a more appropriate swastika.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, in one of the modern stories, CNN reports that the anniversary of Captain America's death is a day of national "mouring".
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"THESE IS THE VOYAGES OF THE DSS DISSECTOR..."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 120.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: And I did it again! And J. Corbin spotted it again! I say "there is (...) other errors" instead of "there are..." I need to pay more attention... Badge for J. Corbin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"FLECHA VERDE."

TITLE: Green Arrow/Black Canary (DC).

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Andrew Kreisberg (writer).

DISSECTION: There's a character thinking in Spanish, and Kreisberg just grabbed his English sentences and threw them into the Google translator. For example, while in English the verb "to be" can mean a condition or a location; in Spanish ("ser") it only means a condition; so "Is she crazy?" can't be translated as "¿Es ella loca?"; you translate it as "¿Está ella loca?", or even better, "¿Está loca?

Andrew, there's millions of Spanish speakers in the US, or you can even look me up on Facebook and I will do it FOR FREE.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, and there are (look J. Corbin, look!) a few other errors, not to mentioned accented letters smaller than the rest.
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"STOP WANKING, IT'S BAD FOR YOUR SPELLING."

TITLE: M.I.L.F. Magnet (Moonstone)

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Tony Lee (writer).

DISSECTION: Tony... the word is "masturbator" not "masterbator". Just as an FYI...

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"STAR SPANGLED PALETTE SWAP."

TITLE: Mighty Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 26.

CULPRIT: Marko Djurdjevic (cover colorist).

DISSECTION: U.S.Agent's uniform is colored incorrectly; his gloves are black instead of red, and the star on his chest is yellow instead of black.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars each. Also, USAgent is not the right spelling.
<-------------------------------->
"DEMON'S HEAD, HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT."

TITLE: Outsiders V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 19.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer).

DISSECTION: Ra's al Ghul's name is written with a tilde (~) over the "u", but it should be written even without accents, or with a tilde on the "u" and the first "a", or without any tildes.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"BLEACH IT, KID."

TITLE: Savage She-Hulk (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 04.

CULPRIT: Marte Gracia (colorist).

DISSECTION: Captain "Marvel Boy" Marvel (aka Noh Varr) has white hair, yet Gracia colors it dark grey; even when the white portions of his costume remain white; so it can't be a lighting issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"THE STRENGTH OF A WHALE!"

TITLE: Vigilante V3 (DC).

ISSUE: 07.

CULPRIT: Marv Wolfman (writer) and/or Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Since when does Tobias Whale have superstrength? Yes, he's a Kingpin rip-off, so he's "fat" with muscle; but not enough to punch through a car's roof, or cause gigantic dents on the vehicle's hood.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"HE'S BALD, HE CAN'T HAVE TELEKINESIS!"

TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).

ISSUE: 225.

CULPRIT: Mike Carey (writer).

DISSECTION: Exodus is overly surprised when Charles Xavier appears to have telekinetic powers, saying that "Xavier has no telekinetic powers!". Yes, Xavier doesn't have any "teke" (as Claremont likes to say) now, but he did have low level telekinetic powers; and his genetic make-up includes that kind of ability, which Cassandra Nova exhibited.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars. Snakebyte brought to my attention the fact that Xavier calls exodus Bennet du "Parris", instead of "Paris", twice. I don't know if I would have noticed on my own, I like to think I would have, but Snake told me before I read the comic. Badge for him.
<-------------------------------->
"CAJUN STRESS."

TITLE: X-Men Origins: Gambit (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Rob Steen (letterer).

DISSECTION: Readable issue that does nothing but tell what we more or less knew about Gambit, but of course, with lots of Cajun dialogue, has accented letters (and other letters like the "ç") are smaller than the rest of the letters.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each, for a total of nine dissections.
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"COPULATON BREEDS POPULATON."

TITLE: Young Liars (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 16.

CULPRIT: David Lapham (writer).

DISSECTION: Freedom, Arizona, "Populaton": 897.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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Average for this week was 6.1 Bazzars on thirty-four dissections; pretty standard. just two Moments Of The Week, and they're both about taunting Norman! First up, just because you paint, is it art?


I love it... SNAP! Then, What If... Spider-Man was a midget cowboy?


I can't believe it's taken us about 40 years to make fun of Norman's hair! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #120.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"(...) Would it kill them to wear the same uniforms?" Cyclops, about the All-New, All-Different X-Men, Uncanny X-Men: First Class Giant-Size Special #1.

Alright, here we are with the column for comics released on 06/10. The Dissector's Picks For The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week is X-Factor V3 #44. Peter David delivers a solid book month after month. Worst Book Of The Week was Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape #2... horrible art, and a wannabe "The Prisoner" plot. Off you go!
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"CAN YOU READ THOSE FROM HERE?"

TITLE: Action Comics (DC).

ISSUE: 878.

CULPRIT: Diego Olmos (artist).

DISSECTION: General Lane and his staff member have GINORMOUS name tags on their uniforms; readable at several meters.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"SUMMER UNIFORM, AGAIN?"

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 597.

CULPRIT: Marco Chechetto (artist).

DISSECTION: Wolverine (Daken) is again wearing his uniform with short sleeves, then with long sleeves, etc.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. As usual, Norman's eyes are colored incorrectly.
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"CONTROL GROUND TO TOM MAJOR."

TITLE: Anna Mercury 2 (Avatar).

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Warren Ellis (writer).

DISSECTION: Again, Ellis has Mercury get in touch with her control by saying "Mercury, Launchpad."; when it should be the other way around. Communication protocols require the initiating party to announce who she's addressing first, then identify herself.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"THE NEW BATMAN DISSECTION."

TITLE: Batman (DC).

ISSUE: 687.

CULPRIT: Ed Benes (penciller) and/or Ian Hannin & JD Smith (colorists).

DISSECTION: See if you can spot this one.


DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"ME JAMIE, YOU JANE."

TITLE: Booster Gold V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 21.

CULPRIT: Matthew Sturges (writer).

DISSECTION: Jamie Reyes says that "you have to pay henchman", instead of "henchmen".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"SONT DES MOTS QUI VONT TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE, TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 119.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Last column I wrote "Also, can we remember that John Stewart's chest emblem is MOT the same as Hal's?"; instead of "NOT." Thanks to Emerre for noticing this; he gets a badge.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, I just noticed I wrote "quarts" instead of "quartz" in another column.
<-------------------------------->
"DOCTRO WHO."

TITLE: Doctor Who: Autopia (IDW).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: John Ostrander (writer).

DISSECTION: Donna uses the word "eaisly" instead of "easily".

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"HEY, YOUR ARIAN-NES IS FAILING!"

TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape (DC).

ISSUE: 01 of 06.

CULPRIT: The Hories (colorist).

DISSECTION: Captain Nazi's hair turns, inexplicably, black for a panel, then goes back to his regular blond.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"THIS BOOK IS CLICHÉ."

TITLE: GeNeXt United (Marvel).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: Ed Dukeshire (letterer).

DISSECTION: Cliché, with a smaller "é". I'm tired of this particular error; I mean, even not speaking any language other than English, can't you see how wrong this looks?!?!? I mean, you're a letterer, your entire job revolves about lettering... or are you just someone slapping words on pictures?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"MISS AMERICA-CCENT."

TITLE: Miss America 70th Anniversary Special (Marvel)

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Dave Lanphear (letterer).

DISSECTION: Two more accented letters smaller than the rest of the word.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars each.
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"WHO NEEDS PUNCTUATION?"

TITLE: Sherlock Holmes (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Leah Moore & John Reppion (writers).

DISSECTION: The sentence "Sherlock Holmes stands accused of murder gentlemen." could use a comma before the word "gentlemen".

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"I GOT DRESSED IN A HURRY?"

TITLE: The Flash: Rebirth (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 05.

CULPRIT: Ethan Van Sciver (artist).

DISSECTION: Kid Flash's costume, particularly his boots, is incorrect. Thanks to Kal for letting me know, he gets a badge for this even if I would have noticed it on my own.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"¡OH NO, UN MONSTRUO!"

TITLE: Titans V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 14.

CULPRIT: Eric Wallace (writer).

DISSECTION: There's a couple of other errors (Beast Boy's eyes colored blue, an accented letter smaller than the rest of the word); but there's one writing gaffe I can't help but mention: Cyborg walks around his own neighborhood; and someone (in the "appropriately" clichéd Spanish) calls him a demon and is scared of him. Did Wallace miss the fact that Cyborg is a member of the second or third better known hero team in the DC Universe? A team that has PUBLICLY saved the world a few times, and helped save it several dozen times?

Yes, we get it, Cyborg is weird; he's shunned because of his appearance... but not to that extent. Maybe someone doesn't look him in the eye when talking to him, or something like that... but fear, like this? No.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"BLASTED GOGGLES!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men (Marvel).

ISSUE: 511.

CULPRIT: Greg Land & Terry Dodson (pencillers).

DISSECTION: Again, Cyclops sleeping with any kind of eyewear?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. What's worse, colorist Justin Ponsor decides to color Cyclops' eyes red, when he's not wearing his glasses... his eyes are open and he's not blasting? What?
<-------------------------------->
"IN POST-COMMUNIST RUSSIA..."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men: First Class Giant Size (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Jeff Parker (writer).

DISSECTION: So, a mid or late nineties Colossus is plowing the Xavier estate to grow crops because "How are we to eat if we do not farm?" Again, what?

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Also, there's crap German, and one pencilling dissection.
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"PICARD FOREVER."

TITLE: X-Men Forever V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

DISSECTION: Well, this was pretty good; except for "Remy Picard"... pretty good as long as you keep it within the context of the early nineties, I guess. There were only a few dissections, none too major. One of them was that the X-Men go to "Avilla" in Spain; when the place is actually named "Ávila".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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So, we had twenty-eight dissections, with an average of 6.1 Bazzars. The usual, I guess. Now, two Moments Of The Week, the first one because of its lameness:


SOPHIE von Doom? SOPHIE?!?!?! SOPHIE?!?!?!?!? Okay... Claremont... okay... Next up, something cool:


Having fun as a secret agent in parallel universes! That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #119.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"(...) My years with Mr. Tesla have taught me that there's one underlying scientific principle to ALL existence. (...) EVERYTHING explodes." Atomic Robo, as he cranks up the dial of a lightning gun to ten, Atomic Robo And The Shadow From Beyond Time #2.

Greetings, and welcome to the column covering the dissections in comics released on 06/03. Straight into the fray; last week's DT! was not solved, I'm very disappointed. Namor, in the panel I show, is wearing his trademark green speedos... with white lines on the side; when he's never had those before.

The Dissector's Picks Of The Week are as follow: Best Book Of The Week is a tie between The Amazing Spider-Man #596 and Atomic Robo And The Shadow Beyond Time #2; I couldn't decide between the two so I just went with both. Worst Book Of The Week was Ultimatum #4; not that bad, but weak, and this whole event has been badly paced. Now, dissections!
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"ONE IS HIS SUMMER COSTUME."

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 596.

CULPRIT: Paulo Siqueira (penciller).

DISSECTION: Wolverine (Daken) wears a costume with short sleeves; but on the first page, he's wearing a full sleeved costume; then in the rest of the issue, short sleeves.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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"DIE KINDER."

TITLE: The Boys (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 31.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Ah, Simon... you don't learn, do you? The ü in "Führer" should be the same size as the rest of the letters.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"THE DISECTOR."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 108.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: I just noticed I wrote "powerles" in that column instead of "powerless".

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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"MASK OF UNCERTAINTY."

TITLE: Exiles V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Salva Espín (artist).

DISSECTION: Can someone explain to me how the Black Panther is wearing his mask after escaping his cell, when he didn't have it before?

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"BLACK LANTERN, WHITE GLOVES."

TITLE: Final Crisis Aftermath: Run (DC).

ISSUE: 02 of 06.

CULPRIT: Freddie Williams II (artist).

DISSECTION: And the fuck up continues... John Stewart's costume is wrong; with him wearing white gloves and the wrong chest emblem.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars for the gloves. Also, Firestorm is colored as if he's Ronnie Raymond, not Jason Rusch; and his costume is also Ronnie's. Seriously, are the people making this comic not aware of the fact that Jason is Firestorm these days?
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"MIGHTY DISBANDMENT."

TITLE: Mighty Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Dan Slott (writer).

DISSECTION: The "previously" text says that after Secret Invasion the New Avengers disbanded... they didn't they went underground.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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"PUNISH ME, WILL YA JOE?"

TITLE: Punisher: Naked Kill (Marvel).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: VC's Joe Caramagna (letterer).

DISSECTION: Come on Joe, I expect more of you! "Pokémon" has an accented "e", but it has to be the same size as the rest of the letters!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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"HEY, JUNIOR."

TITLE: Star Trek: Crew (IDW).

ISSUE: 04 of 05.

CULPRIT: John Byrne (writer).

DISSECTION: There are several dissections, small ones; the one I chose to write up is the fact that Pike is mentioned as a "junior officer", when his rank is Lt. Commander. Junior officers are the ones holding a rank of lieutenant, or lower.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. One a good note; this book is enjoyable, and Byrne has Number One read Vulcan philosophy, foreshadowing her emotionless, computer-like behavior in The Cage.
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"WHITE LANTERN, BLACK GLOVES."

TITLE: Superman: World Of New Krypton (DC).

ISSUE: 04 of 12.

CULPRIT: Brad Anderson (colorist) and Pete Woods (artist).

DISSECTION: Why is John Stewart Caucasian?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, can we remember that John Stewart's chest emblem is MOT the same as Hal's?
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"CO-LOM-BI-A! CO-LOM-BI-A! CO-LOM-BI-A!"

TITLE: Universal War One: Revelations (Marvel/Soleil).

ISSUE: 03 of 03.

CULPRIT: Denis Bajram (writer), Paul Benjamin (writer, adaptation), uncredited translator.

DISSECTION: The South American country is called "Colombia", not "Columbia".

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, "Del Gado" is not a last name, "Delgado" is.
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This week's column had an average of 6.2 Bazzars in seventeen dissections... oh, and I didn't feel like having a DT!, couldn't find a dissection that fit that mold this time around. That out the way, we have a slew of Moments Of The Week. First up; The Punisher can kill you with a sock!


Badass! Next, more Punisher. How do you escape a tall building in lockdown before all its inhabitants are gassed?


Easy! You build a ladder out of dead bodies! Then, Atomic Robo and I think alike:


Yes, we're both nitpicking bastards! Next, behave around Ares...


Or he'll pimp slap ya! Still on the Dark Avengers:


Norman Osborn, Academy Award nominee? And last, watch out...


Don't wear too many piercings near turbo magnets... That's it for now, until next time, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!

The Dissector #118.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

"Yuri is greatest hero of the Revolution and shit. Anyone who argues other the wise can eat asshole biscuits in Hell." Yuri, Ignition City #3.

This is the story of the continuing efforts of a man to catch up with his col... wait, I'm already caught up? Well, to quote the (not so) great Kitster Chanchani Banai "THAT IS SO WIZARD!" So, let's get on with the column for the week of 05/28; the DT! for the last column was cracked by, surprise, Snakebyte, who correctly pointed out that Blüdhaven was lacking the umlaut. You can't be hardcöre without an umlaut.

Let's move on to The Dissector's Picks Of The Week. Best Book Of The Week was, once more, Amazing Spider-Man #595; it has all we need: good art, great characterization, Peter worrying about his loved ones and being frustrated at not being able to take down Norman, and of course, Norman being a manipulative motherfucker, which is much better than just "ha-ha-ha-ha I'm crazy batshit Green Goblin!!!" You want an example of Norman's Palpatinic manipulations? Check out the Moments Of The Week at the end of this column. Oh, and by the way, how does Andy Lanning co-write about half a dozen books a month with Dan Abnett and still have time to ink this book (among others)?

Close second for Best Book Of The Week was the first issue of The Last Days Of Animal Man, but while the issue was good, it just lacked the awesomeness it required for Best Book. Still, a solid read with good writing by experienced pro Gerry Conway and nice art by Chris Batista. Read it.

Worst Book Of The Week was, unsurprisingly, Trinity #52... the only good thing about it is that it was the last issue. Kurt Busiek's and Fabian Nicieza's drawn out, weak, unimaginative plot, which could have been told in two or three issues, finally comes to a rest. How? Well, with a tying up of loose ends and a party at the Keystone Coffee Pier where both heroes and villains can chillax and have a drink, because, of course, since reality is re-arranging itself, nobody will remember secret identities that they shouldn't know. What?

Top that with four different artists, Mark Bagley, Mike Norton, Tom Derenick, and Scott McDaniel, who give the final issue a disjointed look. At best, the art is mediocre, and at worst, it's... well, this:


Eww.... Now, there was one good thing to come out of Trinity: Primat. Girly gorilla? Sold! Wait, no... I'm not a furry!!!


See, she's just fun and cute! You can't see it in that picture, but she's wearing pigtails! Okay, okay. Dissections...
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"WORLD WAR II OF FAKE LANGUAGES!"

TITLE: Airboy - 1942: Best Of Enemies (Moonstone).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Chuck Dixon (writer).

DISSECTION: Ah, some nice WWII fun, with a good mixture of modern and retro art. Unfortunately, there are some errors; the German is mostly wrong (thanks to Dominik for that), as well as most of the Russian; thanks to Rodiath and his mother for checking the Russian language. Badges for all of them!

In particular, I wanted to highlight a scene in which Soviet mechanics talk in English, but inside brackets, meaning its translated from Russian or some other local language; but it's still written in "bad English", such as "Is no good."

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. Also, having two artists in the book should make the editors mindful of having them follow the same character designs; Airboy gets a haircut between pages.
<-------------------------------->
"DANGER! WOLVERINE IMPOSTOR! WATCH OUT, SPIDEY!"

TITLE: The Amazing Spider-Man V1 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 595.

CULPRIT: Chris Chuckry (colorist).

DISSECTION: Now, is it so hard to remember that Wolverine has blue eyes?

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YOU'RE THE FIRST, THE BEST, THE ONLY PANTHER!"

TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11 of 12.

CULPRIT: Tom Brennan (assistant editor) and/or Stephen Wacker (editor).

DISSECTION: The Avengers and the Invaders are fighting alongside the Black Panther from the period; perhaps T'Chaka, although he shouldn't be alive then; whoever it is, it's certainly not "the original Black Panther" as the recap calls him.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars. Also, why is the word "original" written with a capital "o"? And there's some bad German too (badge for Dominik), not to mention...
<-------------------------------->
"INVADING THIS AVENGING DISSECTION."

TITLE: Avengers/Invaders (Marvel).

ISSUE: 11 of 12.

CULPRIT: Steve Sadowski & Patrick Berkentotter (artists), maybe even Tom Mason (colorist).

DISSECTION: Catch this one, it's pretty simple.


DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"BATMAN IN BARCELÖNA."

TITLE: Batman In Barcelona: Dragon's Knight (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Steve Wands (letterer).

DISSECTION: Now, this issue is a bag of lame; while it's not bad, it's filler crap at its best. Writer Mark Waid puts in a few unbelievable ideas, such as Batman not being recognized outside of Gotham (Justice League, anyone?), or him not being able to sneak a utility belt through customs (he built Brother Eye, he has access to alien tech, and the best tech humanity has to offer); and there's a few Spanish language mistakes too.

However, what made me cringe were the accents on letters in Spanish or Catalá; I'm used by now (even if I hate it) to letterers making accented vowels smaller in languages like these, but Wands takes the cake here. Look at this couple of examples:


Not only are the accented letters about three quarters the size of the rest of the font (and almost half in some other cases), but also, he's made the accents as almost horizontal lines above the letters! Good God!!!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"YES CAPTÄIN!"

TITLE: Battlefields: The Tankies (Dynamite).

ISSUE: 02 of 03.

CULPRIT: Garth Ennis (writer).

DISSECTION: An officer of the SS is given (in a German dialogue) the rank of "Sturmbanfuhrer", when the rank should actually be "Sturmbannführer". Incidentally, this is the SS rank equivalent to a Wehrmacht (army) Major, and it translates as "Storm Unit Leader".

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"NOT HOLDING IT CORRECTLY, PER SAI."

TITLE: Dark Reign: Elektra (Marvel).

ISSUE: 03 of 05.

CULPRIT: Lee Bermejo (cover artist).

DISSECTION: Bermejo again has Elektra grip her sai on the cover incorrectly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THE SNAKE AND THE DOE BYTE."

TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).

ISSUE: 117.

CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).

DISSECTION: Of course, Snakebyte finds dissections in my dissections. I had one typo that made a sentence sound weird; and most importantly, I credited Chris Claremont with creating Cecilia Reyes, when it was Scott Lobdell. Two badges for Snake.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars. One badge for JohnnyDoe too, for finding that I had an extra "it" in the Cecilia Reyes dissection.
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"HE'S A STREET LEVEL KIND OF GUY."

TITLE: Gotham Gazette: Batman Alive (DC).

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Alex Konat & Mark McKenna (artists for the Harvey Bullock story).

DISSECTION: I doubt Commissioner Gordon's office is street level? Also, not a dissection, but using a year (2009) for the dates in newspapers and such is not a great idea in a superhero comic with sliding timelines.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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"BLACK LANTERN."

TITLE: Green Lantern V4 (DC).

ISSUE: 41.

CULPRIT: Hi-Fi & Rod Reis (colorists).

DISSECTION: The circle of the emblem on Hal and John's costumes should be white, not black.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Thanks to Kal for noticing this, badge for him.
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"INCREDIBLE ACCENTS."

TITLE: Incredible Hercules (Marvel).

ISSUE: 129.

CULPRIT: Simon Bowland (letterer).

DISSECTION: Bowland, as usual, makes accented letters smaller, including those in the name of colorist Raúl Treviño. And I actually noticed these two when I was looking at the credits to see who the letterer was.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each.
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"BLACK LANTERN RAGE!!!"

TITLE: Justice League Of America V2 (DC).

ISSUE: 33.

CULPRIT: Rags Morales (penciller).

DISSECTION: Ugh, I don't know if Rags Morales is just not putting any effort to these issues, or if the inker and colorists are destroying his art.

In any case, why the hell is John Stewart holding up his fist in "BLACK RAGE!" style to provide light with his ring? He can create a globe that floats with him, or light that spreads from his ring without him having to carry his fist like a torch...

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's incredibly large hand is big enough to cover John Stewart's chest emblem, apparently.
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"MADAMA SHANADU."

TITLE: Madame Xanadu (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 11.

CULPRIT: Matt Wagner (writer).

DISSECTION: As with Zorro, I'm enjoying this book by Wagner, but same as the aforementioned comic, this particular issue has several non-English language mistakes, all in Spanish, except for one in Latin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars for each. At least letterer Jared K. Fletcher can get accented letters right.
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"OKAY, SOMEONE IN WAKANDA JUST FARTED!"

TITLE: New Avengers (Marvel).

ISSUE: 53.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

DISSECTION: Brian, are we really supposed to believe that Wolverine's sense of smell is so good he can specify that a person is four blocks away, in the middle of a city, with brimstoney explosions

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars. Methinks this is an exaggeration.
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"NORTHALNDERS."

TITLE: Northlanders (DC/Vertigo).

ISSUE: 17.

CULPRIT: Brian Wood (writer).

DISSECTION: "Relfexes" instead of "reflexes".

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzars.
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"OUT OF YOUR WORLDMIND."

TITLE: Nova V4 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 25.

CULPRIT: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning (writer).

DISSECTION: Ego/Worldmind says "Xanadarian" instead of "Xandarian".

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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"DRAW HER ANY YOUNGER, AND SHE'LL BE A CRAWLAWAY..."

TITLE: Runaways V3 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Sara Pichelli (artist, "Mollifest Destiny").

DISSECTION: For the Nth time... Molly Hayes is not a midget, she's not five, she's a thirteen-year-old girl, who is NOT half as tall as Wolverine. Pichelli also draws her with short arms and facial features belonging to five-year-old kids...

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars. Also, Klara, although she's probably smaller than a modern pre-teen, due to her background, should not be as small as she's drawn, and should not change sizes between panels. Last, I thought Christina Strain had colored Molly's eyes incorrectly, but she confirmed that her eyes are indeed green. However (I'm sorry, CeeCee), she did color Klara's way too light in the first story.
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"LIGHT IN YOUR EYES."

TITLE: Superman V1 (DC).

ISSUE: 688.

CULPRIT: David Curiel (colorist).

DISSECTION: Dr. Light (Hoshi Kimiyo) has black eyes, but here they're colored brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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"RINGING ALAN SCOTT."

TITLE: Trinity (DC).

ISSUE: 52.

CULPRIT: Tom Derenick (penciller).

DISSECTION: Alan Scott's ring doesn't look like it should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, Vixen's costume is again colored brown.
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"SCALPED?"

TITLE: War Machine V2 (Marvel).

ISSUE: 06.

CULPRIT: Greg Pak.

DISSECTION: War Machine, wanted under the Superhuman Registration Act, and whatever laws have put Norman Osborn in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R. and all that jazz, takes refuge in an Indian reservation; and apparently, he'll be safe inside the "rez", under tribal law. Uhm, no. Tribal law applies to everyday stuff, but someone who breaks Federal law is persecuted even inside reservation borders. If you have any questions, just ask my new to-go-guy for Tribal Law, Charles S. Aspinwall, Attorney At Law, Cowboy Of Regulations


And he kind of looks like my dad, but in a Cowboy Parallel Universe version!!!!! First my dad looks like a Sinestro Corps Member, then he looks like a Starfleet engineer... and now a Cowboy Lawyer!!! At least they share a profession (lawyer, not cowboy).

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. I had a dissection similar to this one, which only got 8 Bazzars, but this time around it's not about a tribal citizen avoiding charges for not being registered; but rather a fugitive fleeing Federal authorities by running into a reservation. Federal authorities (and particularly H.A.M.M.E.R.) would not stop at the "rez" border. Just ask Chuck Aspinwall.

On another note, I'd like to congratulate my dad for being named judge for the Inter-American Court of Human Rights. He's one of Uruguay's (and the Americas') top lawyers, a great teacher, father, and excellent person, and I'm very proud of him. He'll be rocking one of these snazzy robes, yet no wig. I think I'll get him a Green Lantern emblem so I can pretend he's a Guardian Of The Universe. CONGRATULATIONS DAD!!!
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"LE ACCENT, MA PETIT."

TITLE: X-Men: Legacy (Marvel).

ISSUE: 224.

CULPRIT: Cory Petit (letterer).

DISSECTION: The accents in Gambit's French make the accented letters smaller, three times.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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Well, a heap of dissections for this week, seventy-two, with an average of 6.6 Bazzars. Nice. Now, the Moments Of The Week, so I can put this column to bed. First up, Battlefields is good (well, except for Dear Billy), but Tankies is the best so far... look at this:


A chap in your tracks!!! Damn, that's priceless and I love it! Next, Norman Osborn's manipulations at its best:


So, Harry's (Goblin serum injected) girl has a (goblin serum fucked up) bun in her oven, courtesy of Harry... or Norman? Both of them with goblin serum in them, I bet! And finally:


Yes, finally! Gambit and Rogue finally, after around fifteen years, What they could have done with an inhibitor collar, or a five-buck bribe to Leech! That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes...

THE DISSECTOR!